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[Board Rules][/yoga/] [/fa/] [/kind/] [/adv/][/hope/]

File: 1445364810415.png (234.09 KB, 730x462, 365:231, retarded socials skills.png)

 No.4231[Reply]

So, I don't think I'm retarded but a lot of times I ask/answer/do retarded things. I think I have some thought on why sometimes I'm socially retarded. When exploring the reasons why you have poor social skills

1. You're just slow and like to take it easy

When some people get impressions and it takes you some more time to 'get' what's going on and what would be an appropriate response. Ofc most of the time you're just quiet and try to find something to say but can't.

2. You didn't socialize for a period of time

Sometimes you forgot how to interact with people lot's of time this can be because of bullying or because other reasons where you get ignored by the majority of people. You also lose how to distinguish talk towards friends, family members, acquaintances, etc.. The extremest case like this is Christopher Knight, a man who lived +- 25 years in the woods. He used to read a lot of books while in the woods and talks like people do in books. The same applies to some guy who played WoW/runescape for years and most of his socialization came from here.

3. You frequent a lot of online forums

The same as with games, if a big part of your social skills come from forums. Forums may resemble most of the time to real life social skills, but they aren't. One big part is that most people don't really form any relationship with any of the users. So any retardation you say, has no big implications in your actual life and is quickly forgotten (when I used to frequent reddit there was a joke that a real life week equals an internet year). In real life you cannot have many retarded moments or people will shun you and you'll live more and more solitary.

I like to believe I'm a combination of all I have listed here, if you know any other reason what might cause low social skills please tell me.

Part 2 will cover my ideas how to 'force' my self to be more socially and thus improve my social skills.

47 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4675

>>4673

This >>4674.

If you make a horrible impression, at the end of the day you're anonymous. Just make a new account and try again, considering the rate at which people join, it'll be assumed you are a new person. In which case you can try again. There is almost no accountability.

Trust me when I say you aren't the first person to be in that situation in the group. We've had a few people like this and it's a gradual thing. Initially you might just give an input here or there or just lurk. And eventually give an input here or there until you feel comfortable enough to partake.

The banter you see is between people who have known eachother for months and even then, if any of us are feeling bad, we cut down the friendly insults.

This is a necessary step, it's a small step, but it's a step nontheless and one that you ==need== to do to move ahead. We've all experienced or still have anxiety, so we could have useful advice for you. It's possible man.


 No.4676

>>4674

>>4675

I couldn't do it. I got as far as hovering over the keys, but I couldn't press them. All I'm getting from this is more anxiety, stress, and failure. I need to sleep.


 No.5300

>>4238

You can spark a conversation out of thin air, it does work.


 No.5301

>>4291

It's just code for "things I'm interested in"


 No.5302

>>4331

Was it obvious it was next to you, or were there many other obvious empty seats available (that werent very far, and werent hard to get to)




File: 1448578790581.jpg (173.87 KB, 898x900, 449:450, cogs.jpg)

 No.4503[Reply]

This is a thread dedicated to pointing out improvement misconceptions and traps. The goal is to inform people so they can avoid stalling their progress and have as smooth a ride as possible to the gates of success. We all make mistakes and the experience from that is good, but sometimes it's best to read and learn from other people's mistakes so you don't have to waste the time of having to learn it yourself from experience.

11 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.4825

Moral licensing.

The mind glitch that no doubt has fucked up some of your commitments. A pitfall that has less to do with lack of character and more to do with a lack of understanding of how the mind works.

What is the tl;dr of moral licensing?

It's basically when you do an action that you'd consider good and you'd use that good to justify doing something bad, often without even realizing it.

An unfortunate but common example is this:

>Person works out hard in the gym to lose weight

>Reward themselves with junk food

>The junk food cancels out their workout and they still end up gaining weight

>Probably don't even realize why

Or

>Big test coming up

>Study for a few hours

>Give yourself a day or few off because you studied for a few hours

>Lose a few days worth of study

There can be many variations of the above examples, usually the rewards are things that sabotage your goals.

How and why it works:

When you make progress and rejoice about the fact that you're doing great, your mind takes it as a sign that work is done. It does so because the brain looks for ways to preserve energy and taking shortcuts is one way of doing that. When your brain assumes you have your work done, it goes into chillout mode, your defense against instant gratifications weakens, and it becomes harder to stay on track.

How do you prevent moral licensing?

One way of preventing it is focusing on commitment. When you see you've made progress, look at it as evidence that your commitment is important. I mean, why would you work so hard for something you don't care about, right? If you're making progress in it, you care about enough about it to reach the end goal. Focusing on committment prevents your brain from going "work is done, time to party" whenever Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Post last edited at

 No.4856

>>4513

Just force feed those plants with water. Sounds ridiculous because the analogy is wrong, you are not dead! Maybe you feel dead and have no social contacts but you can change that. Stop being a robot you know which area you need to improve; your social muscle. How do you do that well that's simple just start forcing yourself to participate in social events. I know that it's hard for socially awkward people to find friends but just keep trying. easiest way to socialise is with drugs; drinking at a bar, taking a smoke break with coworkers, smoking a joint with some friends etc. But this route is also very dangerous especially for people with depressions and mental instability because you will likely do to much or to often. That's why I don't recommend that route (I did took that route and now try to lose my addiction).

Also accept the feeling of awkwardness, notice it, make a comment about saying you feel awkward, etcetera

Another recommendation for when you start of going to socialise. Don't go immediately try to get a gf (or bf) first you should look for some friends and get your feets wet trying to socialise. You don't want people to think of you as a creep so first get a hold of what socially acceptable behaviours are and what not


 No.5295

>>4504

>Here's some good advice, wait until you get your life in order before getting a gf.

Basically never.


 No.5296

>>4514

>How to Win Friends and Influence People

http://www.succeedsocially.com/winfriendsinfluencepeople

Just my 2 cents,


 No.5297




File: 1456302986794.jpg (22.59 KB, 484x671, 44:61, 12552721_10208677113147899….jpg)

 No.5164[Reply]

Hello, kind anons. I have a question for the more anxious of you out there.

How can one stop worrying at every step? No matter how much I try to rationalize things, I just end up over-thinking and getting more things to worry about. I find myself completely overwhelmed by all these small things that I have to check and fix and make sure they are ok, and if I can't, I'll worry about it until I can see the actual outcome. Sometimes this nitpicking helps, since it stops me from accidentally overlooking essential details, but most of the times it's just pure mental stress that will not let me enjoy anything.

I suppose I should just "let go" or "stop trying to be in control", but how?

Pic related is mfw all i want to do is sleep when these moments hit me hard.

2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5190

>>5164

I have been very anxious myself these past few months OP.

I realized there is no way to get rid of anxiety except to solve the things you are worrying about and yes I know it's hard. If you can't solve them then you must at least have a solid plan to solve them and you must actually believe that the plan will work, if your mind feels it doesn't work then you will go back to anxiety and depression.

>>5171

Sorry fam, meditation never worked for me personally and I find it impossible to meditate with crippling anxiety.


 No.5192

File: 1456608545728.pdf (2.05 MB, A_Guide_to_the_good_life.pdf)

In my opinion I would say to look into stoic living. Start to understand what is and is not out of your control, that will be a big one. I think it may very well be the best technique of all the stoic techniques. Those things out of your control, don't let them worry you. Meditation also brings wonderful results in this area. Practice deep breathing to bring yourself back into the moment. Try not to always let your brain run crazy, it isn't always for the best. Please try these results for a little while and keep us updated on how you are doing OP :)


 No.5195

>>5190

[I'm not the guy you wrote back to]

"Sorry fam, meditation never worked for me personally and I find it impossible to meditate with crippling anxiety."

Not to discount your experiences mate, but I highly doubt you are so different that something so universal doesn't apply to you, if anything you are doing something wrong or expecting immediate change. Meditation isn't some placebo bullshit, there are physical changes in your brain from it. It's also something that has been tested hundreds of times, time and time again it's been studied with positive results and conclusions. There's no such thing as a none meditation person, sure, there are people that find it very difficult to focus on nothing, but even those people gain a benefit from it.

You don't have to sit in some lotus position to achieve mindfulness. Just sit in a chair and listen to the link the Anon above posted. It's that easy, then just follow it. Short term change should be that you are slightly more calm and relaxed, long term change is that anxiety in general is changed [ because of the changes to brain ].

Battling crippling anxiety or anything in general starts with the small steps, then from those small steps you gradually progress until you can wreck the bigger challenges.

Stuff like exercising, meditation and eating right are the small steps Anon. Nobody is expecting you to stand on a stage in front of 1000 of people and give a speech to beat this bitch, but something like the above 3, those are things that you can do at this very moment, and they are things that are very effective against it. Then from those steps you move onto more harder stuff. Like with the exercising example, initially you may train in your room and go for walks and then later you join a gym full of people. Small steps and gradual progression.

If you can't do something, practice it and refine technique until you can, not just give up and disregard it completely, especially if it's something as beneficial as mediation.


 No.5218

>>5171

Some sources say that the way you breathe doesn't matter, as long as you pay attention to the experience of breathing.


 No.5291

OP here.

Thank you everyone for the support and the advises (and sorry for answering after weeks). I will surely try slowing down with meditation. I tried it before and it did help, but for some reason I stopped and things went downhill after a while. Will give it a shot again.

>>5192

Thank you, I will certainly read this book. As for my situation until now, it got better for a couple of weeks, and now it goes downhill again. I hope these advises and the book will help others too.




File: 1428117749497.png (74.82 KB, 405x171, 45:19, Capture.PNG)

 No.2074[Reply]

What if imageboards are what's holding us back?

You'd think that with their constant content and interaction with unique and sentient beings behind every post and randomness it's like imageboards are to our minds as what porn is to our dicks.

How does one stop this addiction?
74 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5203

I can personally relate to a good amount of the posts within this thread.


 No.5255

>>5150

It's dehumanizing and disgusting.

I don't think social media is any solution either. Real world social interaction is essential, even saying hello to a cashier or something can improve mental health.


 No.5282

>>5150

I feel like people in a lot of boards here are the type of not very creative "stoners" with brain fog or some depression. You have good boards, but then you have mental hospital phenomena like /animus/. There are people with disorders, alcoholics, and people on anti-depressants which slow their cognition. Or perhaps just young. When I was 18 on imageboards I always wondered why everybody always said they're 17-22. I'm 23 now and I think I start to understand. It's time for me to move on as well, but I have no idea where. I really like /improve/ though, learned a lot here. Do you know some places like /improve/ on the Internet? Anonymous obscure places are the best, because they're the least likely to have corporate agenda behind them and less likely to involve petty drama. Popular forums on improvement and health are full of corporate shills


 No.5285

>>5282

Not him.

>/r/theredpill

I don't really care about the game and how to fuck girls. For me it's more about the self-improvement part on how to become a man.

And ofc you'll have drama in every forum where usernames exists but it's really limited and the mods to good job in keeping that forum clean.


 No.5288

I agree with pretty much everything ITT. I will add that the internet and especially chans are even worse for you than others vices like video games, because you are guaranteed to stumble across something lewd and fap constantly. You may be wasting your time when you play vidya, but at least it's keeping you from unleashing the ultimate unearned dopamine load.




File: 1457690236812.jpg (3.17 MB, 2738x1826, 1369:913, 1423978114041.jpg)

 No.5266[Reply]

Do you guys actively log your /improve/ment progress and if so, how do you do it? Diaries? Spreadsheets? Calendars?

3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5273

I started doing a weekly schedule last week. Prior to that I just kept a diary but it was not effective for keeping track of my /improve/ment. It was too easy to forget doing things and I missed days too often.

I have no idea if I have the wrong approach to this again but I'll just keep trying. My current plan is making a loose weekly schedule every Sunday and revising it as needed, then logging what I did or didn't do every day.


 No.5277

>>5271

No, I started it from scratch. Just build it up like you want it to be and improve it where you can.

>>5273

Try to improve your journal. See what you feel is missing and how to add it to your journal.


 No.5278

I keep a journal. Not necessarily as a log, just to write about whatever. Helps me get my thoughts in order, and reading through old entries now and then helps me stay on track.


 No.5280

I have an excel spreadsheet for school stuff. Goal list for everything else. There's a cool program called mindnode that I also use every so often.


 No.5283

File: 1457910337453.png (31.17 KB, 849x543, 283:181, 1457109092866.png)

>>5266

Excel spreadsheet here. This is a graph of my monthly yoga percentages (what % of days of the month I practice each of the eight limbs of yoga, a major goal of mine).




File: 1457293761433.png (73.63 KB, 412x351, 412:351, 1457290870790.png)

 No.5251[Reply]

Anyone here overcome shy bladder? This shit is a curse and it's fucking with my life. I'm always hesitant about traveling because I know I will be away from home for hours and will need to piss at some point. School is annoying because I have to go from floor to floor until I find an empty bathroom.

I have to use stalls and have to sit down which is both disgusting and humiliating.

How do I deal with this shit?

 No.5252

I was just about to make a thread about this

it fucking sucks man I end up holding it all fucking day, because theres never an empty bathroom at my college, which I'm pretty sure is not good for your bladder and its very painful

I will be watching this thread for advice because I unfortunately cant help you op


 No.5254

Few pointers.

One, practice at home. Use your imagination and imagine that your toilet is just a cubicle and everyone outside can hear you. In this controlled environment, practice and practice. The important thing is to associate relaxation with it.

Two, similar to the above point, visualize yourself going to the toilet full of people and finding it relaxing. Do this over and over again, visualize.

Next, do fake it till you make it bullshit. You are an alpha male, you are going into that toilet to assert your dominance. Walk in there with confident body language and blast it all out, intimidate the other faggots in the toilet. Do this in a toilet cubicle first while standing up, and then in a urinal away from people and then eventually, weeks/months down the line, right next to someone.

The problem here is overthinking. Unconsciously taking a piss isn't a problem to your brain, the problem is when you start consciously thinking about it and thus fucking up the process. I'm not going to tell you to "not think about it" because that's easier said than done. Also, ironic rebounding exists, which means if you try not to think about something, you'll think about it even more. So instead of not thinking about it, think about something else. Focus your attention on trying to hit a certain spot in the toilet or something, or just imagine a waterfall or anything like that.

Don't be worried about what other people think, believe me, they don't give a single shit. At most you'll be in their mind for a few seconds and then you'll be forgotten. They have their own worries and problems to deal with to have time to pay attention to strangers.


 No.5279

I have trouble with that sometimes and just psych myself up.

>I'm the baddest motherfucker there ever was in this bathroom

>dude wants to look at my dick I'll put it in his ass

>my piss stream rivals Niagara falls

>I should get a sculptor in here to immortalize this monster piss

Etc. Over the top shit like that. Getting psyched up plus a bit of humor works wonders.




File: 1456715878704.jpg (106.24 KB, 320x290, 32:29, 2968041[1].jpg)

 No.5202[Reply]

Hi, /improve/.

Like many of us here my main problem is motivation. I've wanted to learn programming for ages now but I never manage to stick to it and have had to re-do the beginning stages of various online courses a few times now.

This time I really want to do it but I thought this task might be easier with a partner.

I'm not dead set on a specific language but I have tried and can recommend several python courses and have been told that it's a decent language for beginners.

My idea would've been to just predetermine how much work we want to do each day and use skype or some other means to discuss how we did the problems or help each other out in case someone got stuck with something.

I am a person who very much cares about what others think about him but I have little regard for myself so I need this extra pressure.

I'm 22, from germany and easy to talk to. If anyone has an idea how to go about this differently I'd also be interested.

5 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5226

I'll be willing to spoonfeed you if you have patience teaching me German.


 No.5236

>>5226

Really? I'd gladly do that.


 No.5243

>>5204

is that kalimbam or kalimbam1


 No.5262

>>5236

First of all, I'm not going to do this the "academish" way, since there are lots of resources for that, namely coursera, codeacademy and alternatives..

First of all, think of something you want to do. A calculator? A game? An app? Hack a program?

What is that thing you want to do?

If you're out of ideas, then you need to work on creativity. Get something to work on, that you're interested. That you want to do. Perhaps copy software functionality? Or fix something!


 No.5263

>>5243

"kalimbalimCAPS"




File: 1443896271149-0.jpg (177.44 KB, 1080x720, 3:2, Foto del día 03-10-15 a l….jpg)

File: 1443896271159-1.jpg (140.79 KB, 1080x720, 3:2, Foto del día 03-10-15 a l….jpg)

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File: 1443896271160-3.jpg (123.28 KB, 1080x720, 3:2, Foto del día 03-10-15 a l….jpg)

 No.4062[Reply]

This is me, what are some tips?

61 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5161

ANON POST PICTURES


 No.5176

File: 1456444151465.jpg (107.28 KB, 800x1200, 2:3, 800px-Psilocybe.semilancea….jpg)

>>4119

>>4105

Be careful with shrooms if you have depression or other mental health issues.

If you take higher doses the trip itself will usually go fine but the comedown is where you might start having extremely negative thought loops. Take in mind that you can't just go to sleep on shrooms and you might be stuck with 6 hours of horrible dread and sadness followed by a week or two of being stuck in not-quite-reality churning over your depression. Depersonalization and existential angst are NOT fun.

I recommend only taking proper doses of shrooms if you're genuinely not harboring some mental issues at the time.

You can take smaller to medium doses if you're provided with a lot of input though. You'll hardly be having much of an introspective depression spiral if you're at a concert/party for example and constantly distracted. Physical activity like dancing helps a lot with the comedown. If you then walk home in the fresh morning air you'll feel great and dandy.

What I personally recommend for people with depression is taking microdoses of shrooms.

You're basically just taking 0.1-0.5g of shrooms periodically.

You will have a noticeably uplifted albeit slightly weird mood. I did this after getting treatment for my depression at a hospital for over 2 months and being severely disappointed with the facility and "help" I got.

I helped me greatly get my life back on track and running errands is a lot more fun if you're in that headspace.

Always do you own research! I can't stress this enough. Look everything up on erowid, read user experiences, read articles etc.

And keep in mind that there are different species of mushrooms. They all vary in their psilocybin and pPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


 No.5179

>>5176

Second micro-dosing shrooms for people who can handle psychedelics.


 No.5188

>>4924

Fucking this.

Fucking this.

Fucking this.

>>4296

Your cut looks great man. Work out and make some gains.

Read up about style on PUA websites to improve your body language and fashion sense.

Great job so far!


 No.5244

Great job anon, I wish for you to keep to your goals.

You will make it.




File: 1444326300622.jpg (142.05 KB, 882x432, 49:24, mentat.jpg)

 No.4113[Reply]

The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and a wonderful thing to enhance to the peak of its abilities.

A mentat is a human computer capable of great feats of memory, analytics, mathematics and logic.

http://www.ludism.org/mentat/HomePage

I have recently begun my training to become a mentat. My current regimen consists of exercise, meditation, some kind of independent study (typically reading or doing coursera work), and then training/study/practice of memory (using anki to memorize all country flags of the world), a new language (studying spanish right now), music (learning piano) and mental math.

I take 100mg of caffeine (and will be ordering some L-Theanine tomorrow) in the morning before this, and soon will be adding more to my nootropic stack. And during it I'm drinking coffee and listening to classical music with binaural beats. Currently my exercise is just doing the Couch-to-5k program, but I intend to start doing more than that.

I have lofty goals for my mentat training. Who else has similar goals for their self-improvement?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTuEvnfgQcY

30 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5238

File: 1457099700759.jpg (134.38 KB, 742x960, 371:480, spice melange.jpg)

Anyone interested in forming a group of mentats-in-training?

The IRC server made by >>4320 is still operational. We could make our own board here on ∞chan for mentat discussion. Or we could just regularly post in this thread here, or make an /improve/ mentat general.

I'll be sitting in the IRC, #mentat on rizon for a while. If anyone else is doing mentat training, stop by.

The idea of a community of mentats sounds awesome.

We could have regular documentary streams, book discussions, intellectual stimulating discussions of other kinds. Play chess or go. Could be cool.


 No.5239

>>5238

I went ahead and made it

>>>/mentat/


 No.5240

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>5237

See embed.

>>5234

Yes, except it actually has real-world measurable results, meaning we can observe it, measure it, and science the shit out of it. Happiness has a distinct advantage, and there is science behind it.

>>5238

I like the idea of IRC though, I could lurk while I'm at work.

>>5239

Muh nigga.


 No.5241

File: 1457110398486.jpg (1.01 MB, 1280x640, 2:1, 1364907309388.jpg)

>>5240

TED talks are window shopping for the brain. I see no reason why would anyone think of them as mental training. They would fit better at stage three as (shallow) introduction to certain ideas. Let's admit it: the most valuable information in that talk were the citations which you can use to actually research the topic and maybe come up with a coherent concept instead of just having the vague idea that being happy is good.

Seeing Aruna warms my heart.


 No.5242

File: 1457111349841.jpg (403.15 KB, 996x1000, 249:250, Alex_Grey-Godself.jpg)

>>5241

I see your point and concede it. I don't mean to imply TED talks are deep in any way shape or form, although I hope that most of them are shallow only because they are boiled down from real deal deep research into a consumable format. It may be pre-chewed steak, granted, but it is quality wagyu beef and not McDonald's.

However, I would make one point: there are two ways to look at our mentat training, both in depth and breadth. A human being has, what, 70-80 years? How many of those are in peak mental performance? So a man can choose to either go very deep into one subject, say math, and hope to push the boundaries of that specific branch of human knowledge farther than it has ever gone before, or he can go for breadth. Stand on the shoulders of giants and all that.

I've chosen a different route. I never wanted to pick a major. Why should I? My interests go all over the place. I see education and understanding as a holistic discipline. Rather than master one specific area, I want to master them all. "Jack of all trades, master of none" except with enough diligence one can really study many disciplines and truly start to understand the bigger picture, how they all relate, and really start to discover the ultimate truths of this universe. I'd like to stand on the shoulders of all the giants, because ego.

But to do so I have to make certain concessions, one of which that I am personally willing to stand is pre-chewed wagyu. I don't have the time to do all the research I want to do. It would take thousands of lifetimes. So I don't, I let MIT do it. Standford. Tokyo, Moscow, wherever, let them do the work, let them be rigorous with each other about standards, let them publish the results with the methodology, and I'll consume it. My role is to build my internal intuitive understanding of this experience to its fullest, crystallize that, and try to return back down to earth with something worthwhile to show for it. Each branch of science (even spiritual sciences) has a piece, I'm trying to put all the pieces together and solve the puzzle. :)




File: 1453805797806.jpg (34.95 KB, 373x416, 373:416, mediator.jpg)

 No.4949[Reply]

What is your personality type, /improve/?

http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

23 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5178

>ADVENTURER (ISFP-T)

fucking what


 No.5223

File: 1456945472692-0.png (133.71 KB, 1366x768, 683:384, excel-1.png)

File: 1456945472693-1.png (98.62 KB, 1366x768, 683:384, excel-2.png)

File: 1456945472693-2.png (129.59 KB, 1366x768, 683:384, excel-3.png)

>>5084

>>5085

>>5088

>>5172

>translation

>mix of dutch/french/english

>datum = date

>dag = day

>studie = study (what I need to study)

>activiteit = activiteit

>KG = kilogram

>looptijd = running time

>zo weinig mogelijk schermen = limit use of anything with a screen

>nog in the halen = to catch up

> manieren om extra geld

> Triangel = some psy company where I live and some extra notes

> Koude douche = cold shower

I found out some anon that uses excel to track his progress and to do list for the day. I'm like my own boss and servant at the same time. One-four times a month I plan my following week(s).

First off why excel? Excel has everything ITP’s like us love. You can write little notes, make graphs, easy organized in cells/tables multiple sheets, can insert pictures, form graphs, calculate and easily modifiable.

You can base your method of tracking yourself of my pics or form your own technique. I made 3 sheets with one for day to day stuff I need to do. The second sPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


 No.5228

File: 1456991829026.png (28.67 KB, 318x323, 318:323, INTP.png)

>>5005

Same here.


 No.5231

File: 1457019123934.png (110.88 KB, 1103x753, 1103:753, intp.png)

Seems to be more than a few INTP's here, and on imageboard in general.

Not that I'm surprised at all.


 No.5233

>>5223

>I would like to remind that you can have your pc open up excel automatically and have excel open your self-improvement file so you remember you need to work on it immediately. Also if you’re NEET or just have difficulties following through you better start off with one thing you want to work on every day. I started immediately with 3 stuff to work on a day and I never succeeded in finishing my day with everything done so start small and add whatever you want as you move on.

That's awesome and good advice!




File: 1454809721121.jpg (159.24 KB, 600x800, 3:4, 54131763_p0_master1200.jpg)

 No.5030[Reply]

I never really tried going into these therapy threads, the last time I asked for advice was on half-chan but I got a bunch of 'you're just being a bitch' 'stop making excuses' which made me angry and more depressed.

Hell, this place can be a troll board where people secretly laugh at other people's problems.

but I don't care, my life is beyond fucked now so there's really no point.

Anyway I came here to ask for help. I'm at my parents house for being severly depressed. I've been living with them for a few years.

How I got this way was from bullying back in highschool. It's mostly psychological with words rather than being punched (I guess it was because it was girl on girl so). I feel pathetic I get worked up over words but that's how weak I am. After graduating, I thought college will bring a new light like everyone says but I got deceived by similar events. The final knock-out punch was when I lost my friend since childhood. I lost her because she thought I wasn't 'cool' anymore. Whatever maybe because she's a female, maybe because she's bothered I'm half-retarded.

After my college therapist saw me staying in my dorm all day and not going to my classes, she suggested I go back home for 'a break'. It's been a few years though and nothing has happened. I still go to therapy. It's been ups and downs, sometimes I would feel positive and productive for a week then I would feel depressed and do useless shit like play videogames. Whenever I expressed my hopelessness to my therapist, she would tell me to just change my medication and contact my psychologist.

Right now I'm at that low point.

I don't know, maybe I'm just venting tonight and I would feel all better tomorrow morning like nothing happened or have the energy to try to not think about it until dusk where I tend to get depressed. I don't want to die because there's things I want to do but still I feel like I should kill myself.

Also another thing making me depressed is that I wanted to do art since I was a kid. Also writing to some extent. I thought to myself after high school 'I'll show them! I'll become a good artist andPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5092

update from OP

I'm doing a bit better, less extreme depressive thoughts.

I'm starting the do things again like for example I got back to studying art and building my portfolio so I can get those jobs as a freelance illustrator online where you draw pictures for writers etc. I'm going to try to save money for something, I don't know I don't buy alot of things but it's good to have something you earned I guess.

>>5069

>>5083

>/fit/

yeah I should do that too. Unfortunately my sleep schedule is fucked so I'll try bringing that back to normal again. Afterwards I'll focus on getting healthy along with my other small goal.


 No.5093

>>5064

>how do I let go

You look towards the future. Start by effecting some change into your life. Whatever that may mean to you.

The problem I think is that we tend to get into a rut and when it seems hard to get out we just shut down.

>>5092

>Unfortunately my sleep schedule is fucked so I'll try bringing that back to normal again.

Melatonin and alarm clocks. Use them.


 No.5102

>>5092

Take a walk OP, /fit/ doesn't necessarily mean sweating like a pig in a gym, I used to walk by the beach to work everyday and when I quit my job I gained 5kg, that's not much but it's something and it's easy.

Try going to bed during sunset, personally there is nothing more relaxing than snuggling into warm blankets while it's getting dark even when I don't feel sleepy my eyes start getting tired, I think because it fits with our natural circadian rhythms. Waking up before dawn also makes you feel very prepared for the day like nothing is impossible.

Also, try taking a 30 minute nap everyday during the day, napping helped A LOT with my depression and I felt so energized and happy for the rest of the day, it also makes you require less sleep in order to function properly throughout the day.


 No.5127

Come talk to us if you're demotivated.

https://discord.gg/0g3Wk6IMl2jnV9Di


 No.5230

>>5043

>You wouldn't just be killing the cancer surrounding your life, you'd be killing all potential happiness, all the amazing experiences you haven't experienced yet, the amazing people you haven't met yet , the places you haven't visited yet and that one moment in the future when you look back at your past and realize you've finally made it.

This is so true. When you're depressed you have a lot of misery inside of you. But when you kill yourself you pass your misery to others and just kill the fun parts you could have.




File: 1450640568121.png (1.61 MB, 1280x532, 320:133, purpose.png)

 No.4727[Reply]

I think many anons who lurk chans could learn from this, so I hope experienced people out there contribute.

How does one go about growing up after due time? It seems to be a natural process to most people. Getting a girlfriend, a job, having sex, doing adult stuff in general. It comes a time when the fruit matures and it just falls down from the tree, naturally.

However, I haven't done that. My profile is undoubtedly similar to many anons. I'm 23, kissless virgin, have never had a job and still struggling with school (at least I don't have to pay for it, it's a public university where I live), only learned to drive last year.

Having decided to do it, how does one go about actually doing it? I have missed the right time and now I am clueless.

9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.5194

>>4727

Anon, you're getting the equation all wrong. It isn't this:

>Person's mindset changes

>They start doing adult stuff

It's more like this:

>They start doing adult stuff

>Their mentality changes

Conventional wisdom on this issue has always told us that we need to wait for the right moment, that one day something will just *click* and you will suddenly feel like an adult. Conventional wisdom in this regard is absolute bullshit. Although it is very possible that for a group of people the above is what will happen, for most people though, it's not something that is probable.

If you want to feel like an adult or you want to feel like a man, you will have to bite the sand and just start doing adult stuff. Like for instance looking for a job, beginning to look after your body by working out or just in general, whatever it is you think an adult does. Then eventually the mentality will follow and you will *feel* like an adult.

Here's a possible reason to why it works:

"Modern psychologists have a theory on why acting-to-become is such an effective way of changing who you are and how you feel about yourself: cognitive dissonance. When there’s a conflict between your self-perception and how you’re actually behaving, you experience dissonance or tension, and your brain moves to close the gap by shifting how you feel about yourself to match how you’re acting."

[http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/05/13/want-to-feel-like-a-man-then-act-like-one/]

I'm not going to pretend that the above is easy, it isn't. It's a bitch of a challenge, but it's something that is necessary to feel the way you want to feel. With that said, facing behemoth challenges like asking out a woman or getting a job isn't what you need to get done, it is downPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


 No.5197

>>4727

I'm 22, when I look at normies my age I feel like a total kid and I see them as adults for some reason, when I see them doing the normie things they do like going to college, kissing their gf, driving their car, I feel really small and unworthy of those things for no real reason, it is a feeling similar to penis envy or breast envy I guess.

I think it is because those people became adults back in their teens when they first started doing these adult things, but since I was always provided for and never got the chance to start living life for myself then I still feel like some stupid kid even into my twenties.

I actually realized just now that being an adult doesn't depend on age at all but on the life experience that a person has.

This >>4795 nigga knows wtf he's talking about, NEETs are so good at mastering whatever video game they decide to play, if they will apply the same skills that they use to pass their video games in real life then they will surely succeed eventually.


 No.5198

>>5194

>“Where would a sense of maleness come from for the worker who sat at a desk all day? How could one be manly without independence? Where was virility to be found in increasingly faceless bureaucracies? How might clerks or salesmen feel masculine doing ‘women’s work’? What became of rugged individualism inside intensively rationalized corporations? How could a man be a patriarch when his job kept him away from home for most of his waking hours?”

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2010/09/07/3-archetypes-of-american-manliness-part-ii-the-heroic-artisan/

This art of manliness website seems like a very resourceful place.


 No.5217

>>5197

Not him but there is a thread up >>75 which 'gamificate' your life.


 No.5225

>>5197

I believe there's a rather narrow period where your parents are supposed to challenge, but support you.

Like a mother bird kicking its kid out of the nest, forcing it to fly or die. However, in this analogy, the mother keeps the kid in the nest, keeps bringing it yucky chewed up food and somewhere way past the date, when the kid is grown up, fat and disgusting wonder why the hell he didn't want to fly on his own.

Bonus point for shaming the kid for not wanting to fly by itself, when told that "you sure you're ready?".

As a personal belief/hypothesis, I think you can see how a NEET / loser / loner / depressed kid whatever you want to call it is raised through how they spend their time in a video game. Like me, I have to max everything safely as possible, build up a overpowered character to even think about trying some more difficult content. Which at that point I am so overpowered I just cuts through everything. That is no fun.

Same aspects goes for my idea of thinking in life. I can't move out unless I have sort of fixed all the other foundations (proper job, being fit, have a solid saving). Now, I can't get a proper job without being fit (in my mind). But to be fit, I need to dedicate myself - a lot. And for who?

It seems like every activity is for the sake of doing the activity. That you watch a movie, to watch a movie. You work out for the sake of working out. You learn to drive for the sake of learning to drive.

There's no overreaching goal where it all connects. Just a bunch of isolated shit you are supposed to make sense of but you were never taught.

It's weird to think that kids born right when I made it out of high school (or EU equivalent) are half-way to be there. And in life I haven't really gotten much further.




File: 1455843525617.jpg (68.71 KB, 1024x768, 4:3, 2314-oddworld-007-kfiek.jpg)

 No.5126[Reply]

How do i improve my posture?

I injured my neck at a young age and basically stand like this guy now.

 No.5132

Yoga?


 No.5134

>>5132

Yoga. I would also add strength training (weight lifting).

See a physical therapist if you can afford one!


 No.5144

google and learn "chin tuck" for your neck and head


 No.5216

File: 1456869024896.jpg (499.76 KB, 1536x2173, 1536:2173, 1411340913393.jpg)

This will straighten your back and fix your posture.




File: 1456763843289.jpg (61.59 KB, 606x496, 303:248, 1441553974229.jpg)

 No.5210[Reply]

I hate myself. I'm in law school at a good university but I feel fucking worthless.

You see, although in my country law is not an oversaturated field I still feel worthless. Why? Because I don't build/make/invent anything concrete. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be an engineer or a doctor or a chemist. But I am a retard with numbers. I didn't memorize basic multiplication (4x4, 8x9 etc) until 4th grade. I cheated my way through middle and high school math.

I don't have to work immediately after college. Hell, I could take 2 more bachelor degrees after I finish law take that 'muricans. But should I? And anyways I'm still horrible at math. I could be a lawyer/engineer and build both legal and literal frameworks IF I could actually into math. But I can't even do 1st year highschool math. Getting a job in law is not a problem after college for me.

When I was in high school I planted a small plot of land with cassava. They're dirt cheap and you could buy them, but when I harvested them I felt pride and joy from the feeling that my effort has materialized into something concrete. I was more proud at this than when I won a debate competition at the same year.

Sorry for the tl;dr. Thanks if you read it.

 No.5213

>>5210

Dude, read the link in this post >>5198 here

I literally found the source of my unhappiness there. You and I are artisans and we love to independently build/make/invent shit that is what we base or manliness and sense of worth on, from industry. Personally I thought I was some weird fuckup for not being able to happily go to some shitty doctor/lawyer/office job like most people here and my family would always push that shit down my throat like it's some kind of ideal, it just doesn't work for me, maybe it does for them and maybe they are happy doing it but I am not and I get depressed even when I think about it.

I decided I wouldn't go to college or university and work full-time on my art, I am much happier this way.


 No.5214

File: 1456851385880.png (309.17 KB, 575x744, 575:744, 1430850829761-0.png)




File: 1451718949247.jpg (125.22 KB, 999x1080, 37:40, anon.jpg)

 No.4835[Reply]

Good advice for high school anons

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjYYvl2379g

 No.4843

>>4835

That mothercuker is my nigga.


 No.5200

>>4835

>tfw when that girl is hot af but I wouldn't even be able to talk and interact with her in person without being all nervous and weird.




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