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 No.1963

Any advice on how to alleviate an anger problem? I am the quick-instinct type that will smash/break something without thinking about it in a rage. Today I got into an argument with a family member and ended up ripping my computer desk in half, which made me even more angry and manic.

/improve/ has really helped me on the road to self-improvement already, but this is a problem I need some help on.

 No.1967

>>1963
Use that anger to your advantage and use it to further your self improvement.

Before being able to do that you're going to have to learn how your anger looks and feels like. You can't do much about your anger if you don't know your warning signs. Next time you're angry take note of how you feel, your muscle tension, your temperature, your breathing etc.

Next you're going to have to learn how to calm the fuck down. When you're angry try to distract yourself, for example taking a drive with non angry music playing, playing a game on your phone, making a journal entry(venting) and best of all, going to exercise. You can also engage in deep, slow, and controlled breaths while focusing your attention on something in the environment, for example a spot on your wall or something on your desk. If you find yourself in a hostile environment and can't leave it, you can squeeze your fists and breathe(practice this when you're fine so you can employ it subtly).

Channelling anger into something productive is a good way of coping with it. Life has its negative moments and when encountering said moments it can leave you feeling angry or upset, which is okay, because you can use it to motivate you. Whether you want to prove yourself or seek revenge the best way to get either is to be great, let your anger help you get there. Preferably you should use the energy on physical task as opposed to focused oriented tasks.

If you find that you can't make good use of your anger and are about to flip the fuck out disengage and leave the angering situation. Then focus on something and try not to fill your mind with thoughts that will anger you.

 No.1973

Maybe you should get yourself a punching bag.

nb. my worthless post

 No.2000

Walking, preferably in the countryside, no ipod or phone. Works for me. Failing that, just do some intensive exercise or take a bath.

 No.2001

As cheesy as it sounds I learned to control my anger when I read about "the flame and the void" in the Robert Jordans the Wheel of Time.

>I imagine a flame, and then I push everything into it. Hate, fear, nervousness. Everything. When they’re all consumed, there’s an emptiness, a void, inside my head. I am in the middle of it, but I’m a part of whatever I am concentrating on, too.


http://library.tarvalon.net/index.php?title=Flame_and_the_Void

 No.2002

>>2001
Actually since it was like more than a decade ago, I don't remember if that description is complete or does it justice. The books are good though, or at least I thought so back then. I think he based his idea off of zen meditation, so I guess that could be a more well studied avenue to pursue. I think there has been quite a lot written about controlling anger using meditation.



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