/improve/ - Self Improvement

>>2258

"If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got."

How much longer do you want to stay in the abyss? Break free. Change.

You need to start lifting. See sticky in /fit/

Quite serious about this

It's never too late to get your shit together, that much is certain. As to finding a job, take a few classes at a local community college, work towards a degree. As terrible as it is to say, Amerifags are facing degree inflation like nothing else. My recommendation would be to take an entry level math course, like pre-college algebra. Utilize the tutoring services on site, and try to find a work study job on campus. As odd as it sounds, it's work experience, especially if it's relevant to your major.

Only like 40% of job applications require references anyways.

TBH if I was in your position I would lie about your past and say you worked as a freelance lawnmower, babysitter, etc. Not having any college or work xp at 21 is pretty weird, but you can still get a job. You just have to be smart and find a way around this mistake in your life.

Tips for making friends:

TALK!

For me getting a gf is easier than making a friend, because I can just go out and approach women. The only time I've actually made friends was when I have been put into a situation where I was forced to interact with people. I suspect that people who make friends easily are able to elicit social interactions with new people more easily whereas people like us don't talk unless we have to. If you actually talk to people, friendship comes naturally.

Why does friendship follow naturally after talking? Think of yourself as a TV show in that person's life. People watch their favorite TV shows because it basically fulfills the same function as a friend. So if someone has an experience with you where you talk about things that interest them, they will want to see you again. People naturally are interested in the details of other human beings. Once they know a little about you they will want to know more.

How to talk more? First is overcoming the anxiety, which you do by asking random questions to people and telling fake stories. This removes your limiting beliefs and also makes you socially aware, making you able to spot opportunities to talk where you wouldn't have seen before. Second is actually having an interesting life so that you have things to talk about, especially things that other people find interesting.

>>2409

Yeah a lot of it just comes down to poor health. You behavior comes from your body. So there must be a problem with your body. Never assume that your depression or bad health is an inherent feature of you. It always comes from bad practices like bad diet, low physical activity, not enough vitamin d, etc.

>>3182

>Second is actually having an interesting life so that you have things to talk about, especially things that other people find interesting.

I'm not him, but I have this problem and I have no idea on how to solve it.

Also, I'm terrible at talking with other people, even people I know (I don't even want to imagine how it would be for me to talk with strangers, especially girls).

>>2258

>Lastly, is 21 too late to get for me to get my shit together? And is it too late to live a good life?

Is it too early at 21 to die? This is basically what you're asking.

Dickhead, you're gonna live for another ~50+ years, fixing your shit takes 3 months to get you on the right track from which you will not want to get out. That leaves you with the next 49.75 years to rock hard in life. Sounds good, doesn't it?

Take an empty notebook. You won't use it for anything else but ONE purpose only → FIXING MY SHIT BACKLOG.

Day T-90 is today. Each next day goes down by 1 till you're left with #1 3 months from now. Each day, there will be an entry of what you've done to Fix My Shit. No day will be empty. There's no other goal in your life, but this ONE.

Looking at the backlog will give you confidence that you're moving somewhere, especially on those days when everything sucks. But you have a goal to accomplish, and no day can wasted.

You can do this. It's all about your fucking head. That's the only thing you can point to blame. Your head sinks you down, or lifts you up. Which way it goes depends on you.

Do it.

>>3184

You can start the conversation by openly telling them that you are terrible at talking with other people, and asking them for advice, experience, what would they do in your situation.

This is a trick on your side, as it opens the conversation, immediately gains interest of your counterpart as people love helping other people (as it pleases their egos), and gets you off the hook right at the beginning, shifting the conversation on their side. You'll then have plenty of small opportunities to contribute to the conversation and over time you'll get more comfy in talking to other people.

Thank you everyone for the responses. IV read them all but I can't respond to everyone of them as I just woke up. I have a small part time job now. My GPA is low as fuck but I'm meeting a counselor about that tomorrow. I made some "friends", people who I talk to on the job. I don't have a gf, but i don't care anymore much. I'm 21 and just everyone has felt love at some point except me, so I think ill stick to prostitutes when I get the money, otherwise I wont feel right. Anyways thank you everyone and the journal idea sounds cool, I think ill try it.

I must reccomend that you guys join a sports club of some sort. Martial arts like Judo or maybe boxing. You don't need to take it to competitive level, and to my understanding, you can do boxing with protection. You interact with real people around a real thing, and exercise will do anyone good.