/improve/ - Self Improvement

>>2329

First of all, there is nothing wrong with feeling himself lonely from time to time. Every single human being feel himself lonely sometimes. So if you want never feel loneliness you was born in wrong animal species. As for friends. Generally friendship is sort of mutually beneficial exchange, if you don't want give your friend something then your friend don't want give you something. Something is usually takes form of attention and time spent together. If you know your friend long time you have some sort of positive credit history of exchange, so you can ask him for big favor (help you with your problem) and he do this because he knows that you are will do same for him in the future, or already did in the past. But then people are only starting learn each other they don't have those positive credit history so they tend lend only little favor because they don't know for sure that other person will return that favor in future. So you just can't burden unfamiliar people with your problem irl, because they don't want hear about you and your problems, they scared that maybe you are wanting to cheat them, that you will take their psychological support and their time but won't give something in return. And that's why imageboards so popular. Anonymity replaces positive history of exchange in relationship, but of course there are some limitations because of that. So if you want to find a friend you need to find human that have something in common with you (sort of you are coding with that guy in the same open source project) and on that common ground build history of positive exchange.

Maybe what I typed above was a bit obviously or autistic. So forgive me then, I'm trying to cope with my English here. I actually have some decent friends irl, but I spent on boards so many years that most of the time when I feel myself sort of lonely lonely I come here.

Also if you have some good work that keeps you occupied through the day you just have no time for loneliness. If I spend all day coding and making some physical exercises then I feel myself very happy when I'm going to bed. So maybe achieving some goals everyday will help you to not feel yourself so lonely. Also /improve/ has very good atmosphere (it has very little people yet tho) try to come here sometimes.

>>2329

You can try to watch some good movie and read some books when you feeling lonely. They can considerably boost your moral up. I'm not talking about some art-house or capeshit. Yesterday I watched Princessa Mononoke for first time since childhood and it was very inspiring. Several weeks ago I had bad evening after bad day and suddenly I decided to read Black Arrow by Stivenson (I also read it when I was eight and I was very impressed back then) and it made my evening. There are many good films and books and they all made to help people cope with their loneliness.

>>2330
>Maybe what I typed above was a bit obviously or autistic.
To the contrary, it all sounds very reasonable.
What I'm doing right now is getting in shape, then I will try practicing a couple sports. Even then, I fear this will lead to me just excanging a few "hi" each session, as happened for most of my previous school experiences. Have any tips on how to avoid that happening again?

>>2331
I'm reading a lot since I got into self improvement, but strictly non-fiction. Fiction feels too much like escapism, and I've had enough of that for a lifetime or two. But thanks for the tip.

>>2334

>>2334

>Fiction feels too much like escapism

That's why I mentioned Black Arrow. It's simple historical adventure. It's about how good, passionate and sincere people acting. I'm also have read my hundreds of books about how people are thinking or feeling. And I have enough of this. Now I watch and read about good people making good choices and doing something, they are sort of role models for me. My whole life I was seeking some deep sense in life and was struggling to find it in books and my life had been going past me. But in the end I realized that there is no sense besides that I create myself. That I'm person who decides what makes sense and what not in my life. And only things that counts is deeds, only by deeds one can and should judge other people and himself.

>>2335

Oups, I not ended that post.

But if you spent whole life surrounded by thoughts and reflexion it is hard to make change and start acting. So as I said I seek for role models, and by seeing them I gain courage and strength to take actions in my life.

>>2335
>My whole life I was seeking some deep sense in life and was struggling to find it in books and my life had been going past me.
Shit, that's me. Precisely me. The last few years I've read a lot of philosophy, trying to make sense of life and why should I bother with it.
I've reached answers that I like and they act as the background noise of my transformation, but they are not the real reason for it.

The real reason is that recently I dreamed of the girl I loved and never had. She told me I could have her if I put my life in order.

There, that's how pathetic I am. But it's been working so far, as I spend every waking hour feverishly reading up on fitness, clothing, social relationships and of course busting my ass getting in shape.

I'll take your advice on role models, sooner or later this drive will wane as the stench of mouldy memories dissipates, then I'll have something to fall back to other than my tacked-on life philosophy.

>>2339


Holy shit bro. I had same lifechanging experience once. I dreamed about sitting in old schoolbus with some girl of exceptional beauty. There was sunlight from the setting sun all other the place and I could see sunlight beams that were going through little dust particles. And we were just sitting here on the leather seat. All scene was so sacred that I felt that time stopped. And we had some sort of nonverbal dialog all the time and I professed her my whole life by this dialog. And after that we were just sitting there in silence side by side and were watching sitting sun. And then she got to her feet turned to me and said one phrase looking into my eyes: I believe in you. And after kissed me in the forehead and after that there was only sunlight and I woke up with tears on my cheeks. This episode had very important implications on my life after that.

>>2343
Well, that's great. I'm almost envious, instead in my case it brought back some horrid memories along with it, but it's pushing me nonetheless.

Watching my Steam playtime counter go down. It's a good feel.

>>2345

>Watching my Steam playtime counter go down. It's a good feel.

Kek, I made more radical step some times ago when I decided to move away from games. On one of imageboards of my country I announced thread and gave away my steam account. Actually last time I felt myself really miserable was year ago when I maraphoned Dark Souls 2 for two weeks. And after I quit gaming I feel myself way better.