/improve/ - Self Improvement

-Are you diagnosed or just ailing?

Diagnosed with major depressive disorder, social anxiety disorder and GAD since I was 11, got mood swings and impulse control issues I've mostly settled down.

>What combinations of things are you doing to treat it?

Sadly, 5 medications which will be reduces to 3 in July

>What has been especially hard?

My parents' deterioration, the friends I've alienated and my physical and mental deterioration.

>Do you have a support base?

My psychiatrist

>Are you diagnosed or just ailing?

I've been diagnosed with depression since I was in middle school. Been on and off several things and only found minor improvements at best that were outweighed by the side effects.

>What combinations of things do you do to treat it?

Regular exercise, cold showers, meditation. All of these help greatly, even if sometimes it's really hard to make myself do them. I notice improvements when I eat clean, lots of meat, veggies and fruit.

>What has been especially hard?

Getting out of bed can be hard. When it's at a bad point, it's hard to do anything at all. Doesn't make me want to cry or anything, just makes me want to not be around anymore. Not so much suicidal as just not wanting to wake up.

>What has been helpful?

I recently read these articles that helped me a lot.

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/03/31/managing-depression/

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2015/03/16/the-history-of-depression/

It helped me see depression itself in a very different light. Accepting it and understanding that well managed, a depressive temperament can actually be a positive thing in some ways.

It's also good to understand that there are waves in depression. Sometimes it gets really bad, sometimes it's manageable. Remembering this helps me weather the worst parts.

>Do you have a support base or do you deal with it alone?

I have a girlfriend and she does her best to support me, but I know that if I told her how I really feel, how often I consider suicide and all that, then she wouldn't be around for long. Not to discount her help, sometimes she does and I do appreciate it, but if she really knew the things going on in my head I'd be much less attractive to her. She likes being with the reckless bad boy but what she doesn't know is that I do the things I do because half of me hopes that something goes wrong.

OP here, topic points are more like ideas not a strict questionnaire

I'm diagnosed with severe depression, I notice you both have a weak support base… I also struggle with people in that way. In an ideal world, we could talk about it and people would understand, but they don't, and it drives them away… Didn't show up to class, didn't show up to work, didn't come to hang out, freaking out over the little things, struggling with the little things. There's a real reason you slip, it's not a thing that makes sense or something you do on purpose but you're not supposed to talk about it because that makes you the wacko.

I think one of the hardest parts for me is a combination of how much I want to do but can't accomplish and how humiliated I feel being broken. Also, not having health insurance. I take time-release 5-htp and that helps as much as expensive medication did but finding that one good psych was what really turned life around… but then I tried to kill myself and it got me fired and it has been downhill since.

>Are you diagnosed or just ailing?

Just ailing. I seem to fit most of the criteria for depression for the past 3 to 4 years, but never sought professional diagnosis.

>What combinations of things do you do to treat it?

I try not to think about it.

>What has been especially hard?

Finding a reason to keep going.

>What has been helpful?

I don't want to off myself while my mother is still alive, it would be kind of a dick move. Also, I'm curious as to how technology will evolve in the next fifteen years or so, specifically flying cars and holograms.

>Do you have a support base or do you deal with it alone?

I have a close friend with whom I can talk about this sort of thing. It doesn't really help, but she's interested in psychology, so at least it's entertaining for her.

I used to have a diary in which I could write my thoughts and that helped a lot, but I found out my mother was reading it and that made it impossible to continue. It was good because I was accountable for when I didn't exercise, or didn't follow my diet, or self-harmed. Now I guess just have to force myself to do the right things, which isn't going well.

>Are you diagnosed or just ailing?

I was diagnosed with depression by my school counsellor and I'm not surprised back then I met every symptom almost perfectly.

>What combinations of things do you do to treat it?

Well nothing in the present tense as in my opinion, I absolutely destroyed it. Which is a good thing because I spent almost a decade being depressed and almost commit suicide twice, if I wouldn't have beaten it, I doubt the thing I tie my rope around would break the second time.

>What has been especially hard?

Waking up, seeing how happy people were around me and the feeling that I'll be stuck with this forever. During the decade period I had two moments where I would pick up my life piece by piece and eventually convince myself I've finally made it, only to relapse. First time it was heartbreaking but second time, the second time I relapsed after thinking I'd made it made me fall deep into rock bottom, prompting me to eventually try to take my life, as pointed out above, the thing I tied the rope around broke.

>Do you have a support base or do you deal with it alone?

Back then my only support base was /adv/ and /r9k/, mosly because I'd find people I could relate to there but thinking back on it though, /r9k/ was probably responsible for me feeling hopeless.

>What has been helpful?

One of the following or maybe a combination of the following are responsible for btfo depression.

Journalling

In my humble opinion, this one is essential. Having a place to vent is always good but what made it special is the fact that every time you'd write in it you'd feel like you and your mind are finally working in unison, you'd feel like you had the support of YOU on your side. I'd usually vent into my journal but then spend time analysing my thoughts and feelings and trying to figure out why I felt like this and challenging my minds skewed belief of the world. Sometimes my entries would be pessimistic as fuck but other times it'd start pessimistic but in the end turn into positive self talk.

Apparently this one is highly recommended for people suffering from anxiety and depression and I couldn't agree more.

motivational videos

I should add the caveat that I didn't use this to get myself motivated to drive action, even back then I was aware of how ineffective motivation by itself is. I mostly spent time listening to them when I felt hopeless because the positivity and the message of the motivational videos for the most part taught resiliency and eventually, I started believing what I'd listen to. In my opinion though, this one definitely isn't what broke my depression.

Helping other people

This one is self explanatory, helping other people made me feel good.

writing down 3 things you are grateful for

This one worked in conjunction with the journalling. Everyday I'd write down 3 things that I am grateful for, whether it be my house, or my pillow or fresh air, as long as I spent at least a minute acknowledging the positive value of something. This point may sound like I'm saying you just need to be grateful, I know for a fact that's shit advice. The point of this exercise is to condition your subconscious mind to notice the positives more than the negatives. Right now, if you're depressed your mind is skewing everything to appear more negative than it really is, the point of this is to skew it in the opposite direction and honestly, it combined with journalling worked like a charm. Everyday write down 3 things you are grateful for, for a month.

Exercise

This one is also self explanatory. In my opinion this one is underrated advice, yes, it's constantly given but people always overlook it because they assume it's way too easy to be the solution. This will relieve your symptoms of depression.

Vitamin D

I'd take walks/jogs on sunny days.

Cold showers

This one is the most controversial one on my list. There's a study to back this up, but it's not even close to conclusive and requires a lot more testing to be definite. So for now, just assumed that it may or may not help. Hell, even if it helps through placebo it's still help.

From this I seen the most noticeable change, although like I pointed out above, take this advice with a grain of salt as it's just a personal anecdote, for all you know it won't do shit for you.

It's worth a try though, cold showers are fairly healthy and won't kill you(Inb4 hypothermia, if your water is 0 degrees it's take around 30 minutes for you to get it and noway will you spend that much time under it). So if you try it and it helps you out than great, if you try it and it doesn't help you out well then you still get the benefit of feeling energetic as fuck after one.

There's a few more things that I did that I can't remember right now.

How does one talk about his depression?

I've had a rough time for a few years but now I'm much better, I would like to get in contact with old friends and shit, but I would hate to come off as a victim or desperate. I don't want to lie either.

What would you guys suggest to explain the few missing years in my past?

>>2502

>How does one talk about his depression

You don't, you can but I wouldn't recommend it. I should add the caveat that when I say this I don't mean don't talk about it in general. Vent here, vent on /adv/, vent on /mental/ or even better, vent in your journal, but do not vent to your friends.

>I don't want to lie either.

It isn't lying if you leave out some details that weren't even asked in the first place. Would it be lying if you told your friends about your weekend but forgot to mention that you jacked off a few times? Leave out the sensitive details and just say that you've just been chilling out at home living a carefree life and want to get back in touch with people.

Why am I advising you to leave out details? Because nobody likes a negative Nancy, everyone including you is in the pursuit of happiness and you, unfortunately aren't going to be helping them out by unloading your feelings. Most people will feel overwhelmed and intimidated by you sharing that you ahve depression because they don't know what to do and the ones that do try to help, will make you feel even worse because their advice will be shti that wouldn't help you in the slightest. All in all, everyone will view you differently and even when you recover from depression people may treat you like a special snowflake.

Get a journal and vent there, at least it would actually be beneficial to you to do so and won't damage your social life.

>>2506

>here

meant hear

also I consider what this anon to be said is true >>2498 I use to exercise to keep my ADHD at bay but when I stopped due to one hard semester I fell apart completely. I use to do community service which was great cause it allowed me to not be a sack of shit all the time. Another good thing to do is to keep any of your old scheduling as you can without feeling like you want to die. Keep up old hobbies and such, even if they aren't fun, at least that is what my therapist told me. oh and you should also drop any work/commitment and don't take any more. You need to take everything you can off your plate and try to do things that you use to like.

>>2504

Not that anon, but I spent 1 year away from university due to depression. Sort of hard to not talk about it when asked why I was away for so long.

>>2504

Well I never intended to burden other people with my inner demons, it's more a matter of how to justify the fact that I had minimal personal development and social contact for years.

I'm thinking of briefly mentioning feeling a bit lost and not having a clear idea what to make of my life, without dropping the word depression. How does that sound?

>>2512

So how do you answer? How do people react when you tell them about it?

>>2512

Say you were taking a year off to relieve the stress you've built up, you took a year off to figure out what you want to do in life, took a year out to just be lazy and be able to do whatever you want before being burdened with adult life etc etc and the list goes on.

>>2514

You could say jokingly that you spent a year living the life of a hermit, that in itself explains the minimal personal development and social contact. But yeah, if you do genuinely feel lost about what you want to do I'd mention it, although don't make it sound depressing.

>Are you diagnosed or just ailing?

I was diagnosed years ago with severe depression, I wouldn't say it's severe anymore

>What combinations of things do you do to treat it?

At the time I saw a psychologist and took medication for it.

>What has been especially hard?

Dealing with family. My family and community were basically the reason my depression had got "severe". When I told them about it, they just made me feel even worse. I also found it difficult to find a reason to carry on with my life.

>Do you have a support base or do you deal with it alone? I find myself trying to find strangers to talk to when I'm going through a bout, this is usually a bad idea. I used to go on /r9k/ but ever since I moved here I go on /mental/. I also have an online GF who I talk to but she's usually busy. So I basically deal with it myself most of the time.

>What has been helpful?

Blocking out negative things in my life, negative people, news, basically anything that could negatively effect my thoughts. Keeping myself busy and doing self improvement. Having a goal in life. Also not having too much on my plate at any given time. Writing my thoughts down. Helping other people. Avoiding stress.

OP here

I kinda wanted to report back on a trip I took. Depression kept me from finishing school, and I have repeatedly visited three professors I have incompletes for…

It's been a year and I still don't have it, but I finally finished one class (more out of his kindness than anything) and the other two are more doable. I also visited a friend(crush) who has simultaneously brought me the most support in my worst moments and the most guilt for talking about my depression. As someone who never dealt with depression he doesn't 'get' it and clearly it's severely damaged/killed my chances with him… but you know after years of trying to articulate what it feels like, what I want, how it works, he understands a *little* bit more. Not a lot really… but a little bit.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that one thing I see as helpful is always coming back, showing up and trying over and over and over. I didn't go on this trip thinking I would make any kind of progress, I was sure I wouldn't. But for those of us with these illnesses we can't see or measure, we can't try to force ourselves to feel hopeful and self-assured. We can just try to break the part of ourselves that would have us stop trying for good, and notice the tiniest accomplishments, because most of the time that's all we have. Similarly, we can't force others to understand. We can just show up again and again doing the small things we can do and reminding them of the small improvements we make.