>>3052
>I'm like you from what i've gathered from your post
It does seem like it. Since we are both in the same struggle, I see no harm in trying to help one another.
I am sure you know how torrenting works. If you've never done it, go over to http://www.qbittorrent.org/ and get the version for your system.
Then, get this torrent: https://thepiratebay.vg/torrent/9003810/The_War_of_Art__Winning_the_Inner_Creative_Battle_-_Steven_Press
A fellow anon recommended it to me, it is a crash course on how to get over artistic blockades of sorts. This also means addictions. The principle is that your mind is set up to settle down for drugs over fighting for real achievements. I trust you know all the theory.
Read through it all, and keep it handy for when you feel your will wavers.
Then, go get yourself an instrument. Any. I recommend an electrical keyboard of sensible size, I have a Yamaha Piaggero NP11 that is pretty nifty for the pricetag ($250), supposedly portable (won't fit into your pocket but you can take it for car trips, can work on batteries). Pianos don't fuck with your fingertips like guitars do, the sound is basically not dependant on your practice, it is hitting a button and the sound comes out. Pretty good for starters, I think.
The pricetag may be not so cool, but if you keep yourself to eating rice, tuna cans, cheap chicken and fruit instead of consumer-grade shit for a few weeks you can save that, no problem.
Then, go get yourself some books like https://thepiratebay.vg/torrent/4572774/Music_Theory_For_Dummies or https://thepiratebay.vg/torrent/6663933/Basic_Music_TheoryHow_to_ReadWrite__Understand_Written_Music and practice this stuff with the instrument. Get a feel for how sounds go together. Cover songs. Reinterpret songs using what you learn in the books. Do new stuff. Get on /mu/ or even gasp non-imageboard communities for tutorials, pointers, and help.
Oh, and report back. I am now invested in your advancement, anon. I wish you the best of lucks.