/improve/ - Self Improvement

>>3132

What a coincidence >>3133 is me.

What I do is punching walls, punching myself or drinking. But what actually helps is realizing why you made idiotic mistakes, which spells or misconceptions you were under, and what you can learn from those lessons.

Also find somebody you can talk to openly, and who will understand. It helps immensely.

>>3134

Knowing that i've learnt certainly helps a great deal but there's still the pain of your brain repeating "if only/ what if" over and over. Self-improvement also helps me look forward to future opportunities in the similar scenarios

>>3135

>there's still the pain of your brain repeating "if only/ what if"

The only remedy, when I'm having one of those for a prolonged amount of time, is to head out and run like hell. Meditating kinda helps, but it's too hard to concentrate when you're in the middle of one of those bouts. Cold showers help too, all three in combination should be a nice way of approaching the problem.

Finally, having "faith" that the future is brighter will silence some of those thoughts. Be confident in yourself, stop thinking about what could have been (you can never really predict how those things go) and cherish that you're a better person (more knowledgeable or driven) as a result of that experience. Life is not a race nor a checklist, gather what you can and just keep going.

Here's the deal OP. You have extremely limited amounts of energy. While you focus on the past, your present and future suffer for it.

This is what has worked for me so far, basically everything I do in terms of thinking about life I do it with my future self in mind. My past self doesn't exist anymore and never will again. My future self however has vasts amounts of potential so that's where I try to allocate my resources to.

You see how your past self royally fucked you over and now you have to deal with that shit? If you don't change your present, you're gonna do exactly that same shit to your future self. Except that at a certain point, your future self won't be able to do anything about it.

Rise to the challenge and be the first in a long line of "you" and set the building blocks that those future "you" can work with. Don't take the cowards way out and leave it for the next guy to deal with.

>>3145

This is good advice. Whenever you find yourself filled with regret get your ass to work towards your dream. If the regret continues work harder. Keep working until you look back and feel proud instead of ashamed.

And everyone makes mistakes when it comes to relationships and sex. This doesn't come with an instruction manual, you learn from your screwups.

>>3150

This is basically is basically what it comes down to.

The most important thing to realize' is that you can override your past failures if you make it up with enough success.

That's what it all comes down to and why the past bothers you so much. Right now, your past failures tip the scales. Do enough good and not only can you bring them back to balance but you'll tip the good feels scale heavily in your favor.

The choice is yours.

>>3167

Regretting being regretful? Oh man.

>So I also talk to a close friend. I don't like talking about my problems though, so I just vent how I'm feeling and keep it vague. I've been told I should seek a therapist, but I say fuck that. I'll fix it myself.

Drop that attitude. It took me a long time to figure out how harmful having nobody to openly talk to really is.

If your friend is not the person who will listen to your woes and not judge you, find somebody else. Like a priest, your mother, or a goddamn therapist. Therapists don't know shit, but at least they will listen and sometimes say something worth considering.

Good luck bro.

>>3145

screen capping, good advice

>>3132

I have done things I regret enormously. There's no way to fix the past, but you can decide your future. If you live virtuously the pain of past mistakes will fade.

fug, happened again.

>>3132

Cognitive behavioral therapy. Stay mindful of your thoughts and when they start to go negative intentionally change them. Get up, get out of the room you're in. Take a walk. Go read a book. Go workout. Whatever it takes, there is no reason, no benefit, from re-living and beating yourself up about the past once you've learned from your mistakes.

>>4006

It's hard to regret when you are constantly working on yourself. I'd add try adding new habits into your life man and use the past mistakes as a guide as to what to do and what not to do.