/improve/ - Self Improvement

As you can see, this road has long straight stretches. As I ran, I started to realize that. So I wondered if I could run or even walk with my eyes closed without going outside the track. So what the hell, I gave it a try. Incredibly enough, I couldn't do it for longer than 3-5 seconds! It felt really scary and I had to open my eyes, almost (if not completely) out of instinct. But I thought to myself: there aren't others running around, so there's no risk of bumping on them, so why couldn't I do it? Well, I kept trying and kept failing. Every time I tried, I'd open my eyes. So I decided to make it a little easier. Instead of just walking with my eyes closed without a goal, I made each post a goal. That way, I would walk with my eyes closed until I could touch one post, then I would open them up, assess the trajectory, close my eyes and walk until the next post. That sounds better, right? So I tried that but I still couldn't do it. I could do it for longer than 3-5 seconds, but I was too scared to keep going. However, I realized that it did feel bad to not be able to do it, so I kept trying and trying. At some point, I finally did it! And man, touching that tree felt strangely alright.

I wasn't completely alone. There were a few people on the other side of the road, in their houses or at the bus stop waiting for transportation, as well as cars passing by one side of the road occasionally. I realized some of them were giving me funny looks. I then thought I should stop doing it, because I indeed was looking very silly. But then, I didn't. I kept doing it because what the hell. If they find it funny, good for their amusement! I didn't get angry at them. Laugh away, my fellow humans!

I kept going at it for well over an hour. I noticed then three things:

1) Opening my eyes didn't feel good

2) Missing a post or tree (a checkpoint, so to speak) felt weird, but not so bad

3) Touching the wood of a tree or the concrete of a post felt good!

Now you can ask a very important question: what does this have to do with life? No worries, I'll get to it right now. As I repeated this simple process, I realized that my small adventure could be compared to one's trajectory in life. One could keep walking or running around the track with his eyes open, being careful not to hit posts and trees. However, I do not think that is the case for me. Whenever I opened my eyes, it felt not so good. It felt like I could do more. Doing more means to walk on the dark, and that is no doubt scary. It also means doing something different than what others around you are doing, so they will find it weird or/and funny. Those things can discourage one to do something different, but the end result makes it worthwhile. Sure, people will laugh. Sure, it will feel scary. But as long as you have the post or tree in mind, it will feel good when you touch it. There are many checkpoints along the track and not every time it'll be as regular, but the more irregular it is, the better it feels to reach a checkpoint.

From my short experience in this life, I feel more inclined to be on the third group. The ones who try the walk that is scary and makes people find you weird and funny. I want to make a difference. Not for glory, not for fame, not for those phony things, but just because, for me, any other way isn't worthwhile.

I have finally come to understand this short text by Albert Einstein:

"What is the meaning of human life, or of organic life ahogether? To answer this question at all implies a religion. Is there any sense then, you ask, in putting it? I answer, the man who regards his own life and that of his fellow-creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life."

To imply there is a general life in purpose, one that is the same for everyone, requires a religion. "You shall serve the Lord, repent your sins and go to Heaven" sort of thing. However, that doesn't mean that finding a life purpose is a meaningless task and if one thinks that way, one is most definitely disqualified for life in the sense of one being disqualified for a job. They won't do it right. They will be unhappy. So one can still strive to find meaning and purpose in one's life and it'll be different from one's neighbour. I can conceive an individual life purpose, not a general one.

This question doesn't bother many people. They go on living their lives, doing what they think is worth doing and if they are happy, they have found purpose despite not being consciously bothered by the question. However, if you're bothered by the question and that makes you uncomfortable, I think you should strive to find your own purpose and thus happiness. Whether it is going the path that almost everyone does, whether it is going the weird, scary one, but go ahead and do it. When you reach the checkpoints, it'll be worthwhile.

I hope I got my message across.

With all my heart,

OP

>>4435

We are unqualified due to fears of danger and social repercussions. Is that what you're trying to get across? If so, this is literally the reason we are all here. To know that someone is rooting for us out there. I enjoyed your story though and have gained some insight. I appreciate you taking the time to write this!