/improve/ - Self Improvement

Here's some good advice, wait until you get your life in order before getting a gf. Trust me on this. Also girls love it when you give them attention and show them off.

Some other good things to do:

>drink plenty of water

>if you are only gonna work on one muscle, work on traps, they give the appearance you are well built

>wash face twice a day

>take a shower once a day, girls LOVE hair

>if you are feeling down, smile for 30 seconds, you subconsciously feel happy

>Also no fap

Keep in mind that one of the most common regret of the elderly is working too much. There's a reason it's called work-life balance, and not work-rest balance.

Pic related.

It's a trap that many have fallen for, and few have gotten out of it in a better shape than they have came in. It seems believable because of our tendency to look to the future with ideal circumstances. We usually don't take into account our current troubles when looking to the future version of ourselves, hell, we may as well be looking at a stranger(our brain interprets it as us looking at a strangers life, assuming your future you and current you aren't in synch).

Humans are social creatures, we *need* to socialize. Some people are introverted and some people are extroverted, so some need it more than others, but the bottom line is that you shouldn't starve yourself of social contact.

Social skills are like muscles, you train them and you get better, you neglect them and they decay. The longer you stay alone, the more socially awkward you become, the more uncomfortable you become in social situations and eventually you'll be completely socially retarded. It's very likely that if you do this for a long enough time this will start to impact your mood and with enough time, you'll be depressed and socially anxious.

All of the above affect productivity and although you may be doing great initially, eventually, you'll start seeing a decline in productivity until it stalls and vanishes into nonexistance. After a certain point, returning to the social scene will seem almost unimaginable to you and you will convince yourself that you don't like socializing, when in reality you've become scared of it.

Humans are not meant to be lone wolves, if you want to improve yourself, do it, but make sure to have a healthy balance of socialising

>>4503

This is a good thread idea OP. Its like the "Meta of Self-Improvement"

1. Don't buy into self-improvement books.

Do some actual reading. Reading auto-biographies, classics, and denser reads is worth more than reading "shallow" self-improvement books. I'm not saying all self-improvement books are bad, its just that some of them usually follow the same rehashed formula.

example

> Author tells the story of when he was a sad, deadbeat loser who couldn't afford applesauce from the cornerstone.

> Author has an existential crises decides to turn his life around

> He has a "massive breakthrough" and finds the secret in the matrix/ finds a new "life philosophy"

> He then turns said "life philosophy" into a trademarked technique that could even work for you!

> Begin the testimonials from "verified" clientele who can assure the reader that the "trademarked" technique works.

There are good self-improvement books out there but the problem is that 5-star reviews don't mean shit if all the reviewers are brain-dead and haven't read denser books. Some think that "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" type advice is revolutionary. Just understand that there is no barrier to making a review, and tastes do change. One year you could think that a book is "life-changing" but in all reality you might hate it the next year because you've seen that the author didn't really try to make his book deep whatsoever.

Well, these are my recommendations for self-improvement books. Take it as you may, but keep in mind to be skeptical as to why I'm showing you these books.

>Book of Pook

>The War of Art

>At Last A Life

>The Flinch

>How to Win Friends and Influence People

>Models by Mark Manson

Once you realize that a ton of the self-improvement books are just made by people that realized that there is no barrier to entry and little to no quality control you begin to realize just how much the world can suck money straight out of your pockets.

2. Be skeptical of the organizations or "gurus" you follow.

I had my stay in the pickup artist community and it was the worst time of my life for all different reasons, but one thing that happens is that echochambers can be created so quickly when "gurus" moderate speech. Before your ever look into a new-fad, a new organization, or new movement or whatever it is you're trying to be a part of, you need to look to dissenting reviews over it.

The pickup community is my main example of this because most of their forums censor dissenting opinions and you are told to "buy-in" to their beliefs and take them for fact. Some of the gurus bash people that have different ideas than them because they don't think they have the ethos to speak, mainly due to the fact that the guru has had "10 years in the field". Having a guy give a quality pros and cons list of the movement you are trying to join might mean more than the movement itself. Just remember that.

3. Don't make self-improvement your life.

Sitting inside and reading books might not be that more helpful, than going out and forging some connections with people. Just build even the smallest connection with someone, whether it be the barista at Starbucks, the old lady in the cornerstore, or the african guy driving the cab. I think people really get enveloped with the idea of going "full-cocoon" and sitting inside meditating for 2 hours a day while reading Stephen Covey, holding in their semen for weeks on end while doing deep squats to align their chakras.

Just make a life-vision for yourself and what you know you need to do. Make a 400-500 word essay of what you want your life to look like. Don't make it lofty and beyond belief, just make it grounded, simple, and achieveable. Then reorient your life towards this life vision. I guaran-fucking-tee you it will suck for the first two weeks but it is just normal "growing" pains.

At the end of the day what you really want to gain from what I am posting is that you should gain critical thinking skills and self-awareness. Being able to see snakes, is worth more than buying into someone else's agenda. Hell don't even buy into what I am telling you.

I don't want to keep rambling on because I am really hungover and I could go on and on, but we all make mistakes and learning from other peoples mistakes is so fucking crucial. Good on OP for making this thread.

The biggest one I've seen is overextension of discipline.

People get motivated and hyped, shout "Today is the first day of the rest of my life!" and draw up a huge plan of all the habits they're gonna incorporate into their life, gonna work out every day and read every day and work on a new language every day and so on and so on.

This obviously doesn't work. They'll stick to it for a few days or even a few weeks, but their habits and state of mind will suffer constant attrition. Eventually they will give up entirely, put away their notebook with all their plans and hopes, and give up. Until next time.

It's an easy trap to fall into. You start really looking at your life and see all the ways it could be better. Maybe you can even envision your perfect day, 100% productive and maybe totally scheduled also. So you'll try and fix everything in one fell swoop, but the results will be short-lived and maybe set you back further than where you began. You'll feel inadequate after giving your all and failing, fall into depression because you feel helpless and hopeless.

Don't fuckin do that. When you're starting out, from anywhere, pick at MOST 2 things. That's it, just 2 things that you're dedicated to doing daily. For me, it's exercise and meditation. No matter what, I'll do some form of physical exercise, usually a routine every other day and yoga/stretches between. And I'll find time to meditate for at least 10 minutes. I chose these because they're in line with two of my most deeply-held values, that is strength of both body and mind.

After that, I'm free to do whatever I want. Play vidya, masturbate, whatever. But a funny thing happens when you give yourself permission to do those kinds of things - they appeal to you less. When you're "allowed" to be a lazy gluttonous shit, it somehow sounds a lot less enjoyable. Maybe because it's no longer taboo or a rebellion, I dunno. But paradoxically it is much easier to not do those things when you give yourself permission to do them. That's not to say you won't, this isn't some mind game. You are totally allowed to do those things, and if you really want to then go ahead. What I'm saying is that you'll actually want them less.

So my advice is to start SMALL. You've probably heard this before, I know I have. But I never really took it to heart so my efforts all burned bright but very very short. It's hard to really understand how much of a difference this makes until you give it a go. Just pick one or two things, no more, and do them every day. If you miss a day here and there, don't beat yourself up over it but make sure you don't let it ruin your forming habits. Only after you've stuck to it for at least a month or more should you consider adding more to your routine.

That's the hard part to swallow right there. "A month for only one or two habits? I don't want to start that slow! That's a waste of time, I'd much rather do a lot and see improvement much faster!" That's how I felt when I'd read those things, though much less expressive. But what you've gotta realize is that taking it slow IS the faster method. Making small, incremental gains every single day ends up making a lot bigger difference than a week of effort followed by a few months of depression, which was my cycle. It's so much more tempting to try and do everything at once, but you've gotta discipline yourself to start small.

For a book that will help you understand the value of these small changes every day, I recommend The Slight Edge. Buy it or pirate it, whatever, just read it if anything in my post rings a bell for you. It's much easier to stick to these slow but steady, consistent improvements when you really understand how much more they offer.