Can't Work Around Others

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Can't Work Around Others Anonymous 12/10/15 (Thu) 23:44:12 No.4679

Hey /improve/, I have had an issue my whole life, but it has been exacerbated recently since I've moved into a dorm and now have a roommate. I find it very difficult to work when other people are around or could be watching me. I think I don't want anyone to see me as having a problem with my life or in anything I do. It's as if I want to maintain this chalant persona of having everything perfect and under control and if I was improving it would show that something is not going the way I want it to

I also think it's because I know they'll ask me questions, and they might raise their expectations that I'll then have to live up to. So there is a lot of work that I have not done and a lot of improving that I have not done because of this. I have googled around and I haven't found anything relevant or useful. Does anyone else have this problem or know how to solve it? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Anonymous 12/11/15 (Fri) 03:51:19 No.4680

>>4679

stop being a cuck

Anonymous 12/11/15 (Fri) 12:22:28 No.4682

>4679

>I find it very difficult to work when other people are around or could be watching me.

>I also think it's because I know they'll ask me questions, and they might raise their expectations that I'll then have to live up to.

I'm the same, although perhaps to a different degree. I live with family and I get this virtually everyday with them.

On the rare occasions I have the house to myself, I usually feel more confident and I get things done, like showering, tidying my room, emptying the dishwasher, going into the garden or out for a walk, simple stuff. But if they're around I can't do anything, I just stay in my room all day to avoid them, and make sure they don't think I'm doing anything. I don't even feel okay speaking aloud if they're in the house.

I don't hate them or anything, and as far as I can remember they've never done anything bad to me, but I feel completely crippled in their or anyone else's presence. Like just now my mother's boyfriend came back from work, and now I'm dreading the idea of leaving my room or going downstairs to make something to eat.

Anonymous 12/16/15 (Wed) 23:15:01 No.4716

>>4679

> It's as if I want to maintain this chalant persona of having everything perfect and under control

Everyone has flaws. Stop worrying too much. Trying to appear perfect to other people will also isolate you from others and make you a distant and unsociable person. Also, you, like everyone else, need help sometimes for whatever reason. If you keep that way of thinking, you can't ask for help either because you are exposing your needs to a third person.

I recommend reading No More Mr. Nice Guy, Robert Glover.

Anonymous 12/17/15 (Thu) 18:45:17 No.4720

>>4679

I'm the same, I would be 1000% more productive in my own office than in my cubicle. Even when I'm not surfing 8chan or porn, I still get paranoid with other people around, or having people walk up behind my back when I'm facing the monitors/wall.

The only thing that helps is headphones or sound deafening things like ear-muffs, ear plugs. And, well obviously, getting away to be alone whenever I can.

Personally, I think it is due to my low self-worth and self-esteem. I don't feel like part of the team, I put myself as an outsider because that's the role I am used to, so it is "comfortable". I'm also learning to accept that I will make mistakes, sometimes publicly, and that's ok.

Everyone makes mistakes. Michael Jordan missed a TON of shots in his career. We make 99 mistakes to pay for the 100th time when we succeed.