/improve/ - Self Improvement

>feel like I'm coming off as creepy.

Never feel apologetic about your own sexuality and being a sexual being.

>>5017

For one, keep in mind that socializing takes practice and the more you do it, the better you get at it. So there will be some cases where you approach a woman and end up spilling all of your spaghetti and coming off as a major creep, I would even go as far as saying this may even be necessary for you to get comfortable with rejection and embarrassment and thus not worry as much. But this isn't a negative experience depending on how you interpret it. When you fail, it gives you useful knowledge, specifically on what you can do better next time or it can tell you that the approach you just used was garbage. It can also, depending on how interpret it, make you slightly more comfortable in approaching, since you've already experienced a worse case scenario, this one can't be any worse, right? :V)

Why do you think you are coming off as creepy? What exactly about your approach is creepy? Also, them knowing you are trying to get with them isn't bad, it's better that than them thinking you are looking for platonic friendship. Unless you are in the business of looking to get friendzoned.

>>5017

There is nothing wrong with women knowing that you're trying to get with them.

Trust me, making it obvious right from the beginning that you're trying to get with them will clear a lot of obstacles for you to actually get them and there is nothing creepy about it, just casually tell a chick you like her and let that set the tone for the rest of your "relationship".

In fact, there is almost no other way of actually getting with them than them knowing, it's the foundation man, you can't avoid it.

I usually just talk to them the same way as I do to men, but not about the same stuff. My demeanour is the same because I find if I try to alter it to suit their gender then spaghetti-spilling ensues. Far better to exude your natural confidence you have with talking to males and just replicate it with women. Works with me.

Eye-contact is a definite must, though. It doesn't matter what you talk about with females, but if you like them then let them know with your EYES lad.

Personally, I'd recommend not trying socializing at all until literally everything else you could possibly think of is sorted out.

No matter how hard you try, you will never succeed simply because you had the balls to try. From personal experience, the normalfag tier advice telling you to "try" is shit. Trying will never magically make other people receptive to you. People will just back away, especially women, they can smell the spaghetti.

You still emit a creepy forcefield that repels other people, simply by being a spaghetti spiller. The only way to solve it is to improve in every other way to such a point that your good character prevents spaghetti spillage and low self-esteem.

Take pride in yourself before you try. The way to pride is to achieve, experience and learn. If you try anyway, every inevitable failed attempt will simply destroy your pride every time and you will never make progress.

Your fear of being creepy is not irrational, you've simply recognized that it is true. Don't listen to people who tell you to ignore this feeling and meme yourself into being confident, all this will accomplish is you acting in-congruently towards other people; making the forcefield stronger. Your words will be confident but your body language will be socially retarded. Other people will interpret this as "lying" subconsciously. Literally, "b-back that ass up".

Is the "just b urself" meme true at all?

>>5110

Yes. Within reason.

If you're an omega male anime autist I wouldn't recommend it. But as long as your exude confidence with your persona no matter who you are girls will thrive on that providing you tick some other boxes too.

>>5110

I've yet to discover what the fuck it's even supposed means or how it's supposed to help, there are no moments where I am not "just being myself", and quite frankly I would probably be better off if I was pretending to be somebody else.

From what I can make out, it's just advice that "those who have had little trouble fitting in and getting along" give each other because they are very prone to putting on fake personas in public. It's of no use to anyone that has deeper self-confidence, social anxiety, or avoidance issues with regards to social interaction.

>>5112

Where do you think we are? A large number of anons, especially those asking for help with socialising on anonymous imageboards, are going to be either weirdly eccentric or socially outcast to some extent myself included.

We certainly aren't the people who "exude confidence" or "tick some other boxes", because those people aren't going to be the ones coming here, of all places, to ask for help with those very things.

>>5113

>BUT I'M A SPERG

Sort it out then. It's a bloody improvement board. I've answered the question, what's your problem?

>>5114

I don't know if it's your reading comprehension or my ability to convey points that's fucked, but I don't see how my reply warranted that response. I'm not the person who wrote >>5110 if that's what you were thinking.

I just disagreed with the notion that "just b yourself" works in any way, in fact I think it only makes people more self-conscious as they then have to constantly check if they are "being themselves" or not.

Anybody that needs serious help with improving their social skills isn't going to find it helpful (if they can even decipher what it means), whereas things like:

>study body language and try to copy what you see in a mirror

>practice and improve your speech by recording your own voice and listening to it back

>gradually increase your exposure to social situations

>etc

…are far more actionable, and actually give you something to work on.

>It's a bloody improvement board

Yes, so let's to our best to help each other out rather than calling people spergs and telling them to "sort it out".

>>5110

"Just be yourself" is the laziest piece of advice, given by people who are too lazy to give you better and more in depth advice for your situation and it is accepted by people who see it as a license to be lazy in whatever goal they are trying to reach.

Just look:

>"Shit nigga, how do I approach that hot girl over there?"

>"I'm so nervous, what do I say at the interview man?"

>"Sergeant! How should I storm that bunker full of Nazis?

>"I finally installed all these dank mods for Skyrim, now what character should I play as?"

Just be yourself, goyim… can be the answer to all those questions.

See what shitty advice that is? It doesn't help you in any way and trust me, you would do well NOT to follow it at all.

Don't be yourself. Be awesome. Be a beast, man.

>>5115

Didn't mean to be rude tbh lad. Sorry about that.

B'ing yourself works if you have the ability to relax and conduct yourself naturally and confidently. Obviously this probably relies on improvement in order to be able to do this with most people. Myself included.

So in essence, you needn't put on a different persona this always ends in spaghetti spilling with me if you've made the necessary advancements which probably goes without saying. But that's the jist of what I was getting at.