I never really tried going into these therapy threads, the last time I asked for advice was on half-chan but I got a bunch of 'you're just being a bitch' 'stop making excuses' which made me angry and more depressed.Hell, this place can be a troll board w

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Anonymous 02/07/16 (Sun) 01:48:40 No.5030

I never really tried going into these therapy threads, the last time I asked for advice was on half-chan but I got a bunch of 'you're just being a bitch' 'stop making excuses' which made me angry and more depressed.

Hell, this place can be a troll board where people secretly laugh at other people's problems.

but I don't care, my life is beyond fucked now so there's really no point.

Anyway I came here to ask for help. I'm at my parents house for being severly depressed. I've been living with them for a few years.

How I got this way was from bullying back in highschool. It's mostly psychological with words rather than being punched (I guess it was because it was girl on girl so). I feel pathetic I get worked up over words but that's how weak I am. After graduating, I thought college will bring a new light like everyone says but I got deceived by similar events. The final knock-out punch was when I lost my friend since childhood. I lost her because she thought I wasn't 'cool' anymore. Whatever maybe because she's a female, maybe because she's bothered I'm half-retarded.

After my college therapist saw me staying in my dorm all day and not going to my classes, she suggested I go back home for 'a break'. It's been a few years though and nothing has happened. I still go to therapy. It's been ups and downs, sometimes I would feel positive and productive for a week then I would feel depressed and do useless shit like play videogames. Whenever I expressed my hopelessness to my therapist, she would tell me to just change my medication and contact my psychologist.

Right now I'm at that low point.

I don't know, maybe I'm just venting tonight and I would feel all better tomorrow morning like nothing happened or have the energy to try to not think about it until dusk where I tend to get depressed. I don't want to die because there's things I want to do but still I feel like I should kill myself.

Also another thing making me depressed is that I wanted to do art since I was a kid. Also writing to some extent. I thought to myself after high school 'I'll show them! I'll become a good artist and writer and make wonderful stories with inspiring illustrations!'. Now I'm just scared and don't want to do it anymore because of how intimidating it is.

Everything seems so depressing to me.

Sorry for rambling like a psycho but I really am just that. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to be happy and alive I guess.

Anonymous 02/07/16 (Sun) 06:29:43 No.5033

You need to let go of your past before it consumes your future smdh.

Anonymous 02/07/16 (Sun) 15:14:35 No.5043

>>5030

I hear you OP. I understand how you feel and I know how hard it is at the point that you are at right now, but killing yourself isn't worth it. You wouldn't just be killing the cancer surrounding your life, you'd be killing all potential happiness, all the amazing experiences you haven't experienced yet, the amazing people you haven't met yet , the places you haven't visited yet and that one moment in the future when you look back at your past and realize you've finally made it. It may seem to you that there is no hope and that you will never experience sustained positivity, but keep in mind that's what depression does. It skews everything to appear more negative than it actually is. Everything you're seeing right now in your mind is not the reality of things, it's the negative nancy version of events. The truth is with enough work and the right approach, you will be able to beat this depression and you will be able to be happy.

What are you currently doing to tackle depression?

What's your daily routine like?

How many hours a day do you sleep?

How good is your diet?

When you encounter a setback, what do you think mentally?

Anonymous 02/08/16 (Mon) 23:28:14 No.5064

>>5033

how do I let go

>>5043

>what are you doing

just trying to get good at my hobbies so I'll find and build worth for myself

>daily routine

>sleep schedule

wake up in the morning, sleep at night

sometimes I will have sleepless nights where I sleep at 6am to noon, maybe this happens once every week

>diet

it's pretty bad I think

I don't eat junk or fast food everyday but I drink sodas often

>when you encounter a setback, what do you think mentally?

I think pretty negatively, it feels like some kind of mental torture where I'm trying to live but want to die. Negative emotions usually happen around the evening

Anonymous 02/09/16 (Tue) 16:21:28 No.5069

>>5030

I know exactly where you are anon, you're in the deep dark hole of depression, a downward spiral. Shit sucks, bro. Been there, done that. I've suffered from depression for over 2 decades (oldfag here).

It seems like complete shit right now, but the only way out of the hole is to start climbing. You need to start a positive upwards spiral through intentional brain chemistry management. I know that sounds like I'm asking you to fly to the moon with an asshole rocket powered by dreams and rainbows, but hear me out. Start small. Go for 1 thing today, like a walk or do a drawing. Feel good about it. Then tomorrow do 2 things. Again, go slow. One walk, one drawing. Then try three things, maybe stretch, walk, draw. Do that for a few days, just every single day make sure to stretch, walk and draw.

Then over time, add 1 more thing at a time, and if it ever gets overwhelming, give yourself permission to back off a little. Go from 6 things a day back down to 5 for a while. The point is to have no zero days at all.

Really good places to start if you are struggling in any of these areas:

1. Personal hygiene. Shower daily. Brush your teeth daily. You'll feel better.

2. Sleep schedule. Make it reasonable and consistent. Again, this will make your subjective experience better every single day.

3. Physical health. Make sure you stretch and walk at a minimum. Yoga, jogging, martial arts, sports, swimming, whatever, can come down the line someday.

4. Mental health. Meditate, read books, watch TED talks, use your brain. Get out in the sunshine, it stimulates neurotransmitter production and release.

5. Socialize. Talk to your family, talk to any friends you have. Resort to social media if you have to, but face to face is best.

Anonymous 02/09/16 (Tue) 20:54:41 No.5071

>>5030

Are you me OP? It's like you described everything about me in your post, especially the part about art, but hey, at least you have time to draw and I hope you are doing that often.

Why don't you try making a >>>/tulpa/ it helped me with a lot of my problems and definitely a lot more problems than any of my real "friends" ever could and I'm sure it could help you.

Anonymous 02/11/16 (Thu) 13:14:39 No.5083

Op, I ain't /fit/ by a long shot, but maybe you should dedicate an hour or two a week or something to a physical hobby. Whether that's some sort of exercise or something like geocaching, physical activity can (but not necessarily will) help with feelings of depression to a degree.

Anonymous 02/13/16 (Sat) 02:45:29 No.5092

update from OP

I'm doing a bit better, less extreme depressive thoughts.

I'm starting the do things again like for example I got back to studying art and building my portfolio so I can get those jobs as a freelance illustrator online where you draw pictures for writers etc. I'm going to try to save money for something, I don't know I don't buy alot of things but it's good to have something you earned I guess.

>>5069

>>5083

>/fit/

yeah I should do that too. Unfortunately my sleep schedule is fucked so I'll try bringing that back to normal again. Afterwards I'll focus on getting healthy along with my other small goal.

Anonymous 02/13/16 (Sat) 03:40:33 No.5093

>>5064

>how do I let go

You look towards the future. Start by effecting some change into your life. Whatever that may mean to you.

The problem I think is that we tend to get into a rut and when it seems hard to get out we just shut down.

>>5092

>Unfortunately my sleep schedule is fucked so I'll try bringing that back to normal again.

Melatonin and alarm clocks. Use them.

Anonymous 02/14/16 (Sun) 15:56:05 No.5102

>>5092

Take a walk OP, /fit/ doesn't necessarily mean sweating like a pig in a gym, I used to walk by the beach to work everyday and when I quit my job I gained 5kg, that's not much but it's something and it's easy.

Try going to bed during sunset, personally there is nothing more relaxing than snuggling into warm blankets while it's getting dark even when I don't feel sleepy my eyes start getting tired, I think because it fits with our natural circadian rhythms. Waking up before dawn also makes you feel very prepared for the day like nothing is impossible.

Also, try taking a 30 minute nap everyday during the day, napping helped A LOT with my depression and I felt so energized and happy for the rest of the day, it also makes you require less sleep in order to function properly throughout the day.

Anonymous 02/19/16 (Fri) 00:59:24 No.5127

Come talk to us if you're demotivated.

https://discord.gg/0g3Wk6IMl2jnV9Di

Anonymous 03/03/16 (Thu) 12:27:24 No.5230

>>5043

>You wouldn't just be killing the cancer surrounding your life, you'd be killing all potential happiness, all the amazing experiences you haven't experienced yet, the amazing people you haven't met yet , the places you haven't visited yet and that one moment in the future when you look back at your past and realize you've finally made it.

This is so true. When you're depressed you have a lot of misery inside of you. But when you kill yourself you pass your misery to others and just kill the fun parts you could have.