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/improve/ - Self Improvement

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File: 1421807224175.jpg (246.78 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, happiness and greatness.jpg)

 No.675

Hello /improve/, I would first like to tell you my story, and then ask you for advice.

Although I was never an extremely serious case of moral degradation, I was still not an individual of worth. So about a year ago I decided to change, to improve myself and seek excellence.
I wrote down a code of conduct I must abide by.
I stopped drinking alcohol and smoking cigars. The only drugs I take are prescribed by doctors.
I eliminated all junk food. I only drink water and my meals are neither unhealthy nor extremely flavorful.
I began exercising regularly at home, with no distractions or payments, just my will and my body.
I began taking better care of my hygiene, clipping nails and cutting my hair more frequently and flossing twice daily. Two cold showers a day.
I watch no television (or movies or TV shows on the computer), read no comics and play no video-games. When I need to take a break from my studies I read works of fiction that are culturally relevant.
I seek excellence at everything I do, from the way I work, to the ways I do chores around the house, to the way I speak and stand.
I gave up all sexual activity. Masturbation is giving in to animal instincts, and sex is either an expression of love or a means of reproduction (neither of which are part of my life right now).
I began writing down all of the things I do wrong daily, as a way of becoming aware of them. Basically a section of self-criticism in my diary.

My problems are threefold.
First, I never manage to get past one month of no-fap. No matter how well I am going, it seems I always end up finding pornography amongst discussions and that starts a chain reaction.
Secondly, my urges to consume sweets have been increasing for these past two weeks or so. Just a few days ago I had two pieces of candy, and today I had an ice-cream cone.
These two challenges stem from very basic urges (to fuck and to eat), and so it is understandable why I am having trouble with them, but I still would like suggestions. I have tried light self-flagellation, but that seems to be ineffective.
Finally, my time management suffers when I am online (which is my source of study material). Any ideas on how to keep focus?

 No.676

>>675
A few questions.
Do you do anything social?
Do you reward yourself once in a while?
What do you do for fun?
Do you keep track of how well you're doing in regards with nofap or eating sweet? For example, something like habitrpg, where you can see how long you haven't done nofap for or when was the last time you did fap etc. Basically just so you have an idea of how you're doing.

 No.678

>>676
>Do you do anything social?
I interact with people at work.

>Do you reward yourself once in a while?
Reward myself for what? I haven't done anything worth rewarding.

>What do you do for fun?
I read fiction, although I usually feel bad about not using the time for more productive things.

>Do you keep track of how well you are doing?
Not really. I just take it one day at a time.

 No.679

>>678
>>675
>Reward myself for what? I haven't done anything worth rewarding.
For not giving in to your urges.

It is important to celebrate, especially if you want something like nofap to continue, we want to continue doing things that make us feel good. In this case fapping feels sure as hell better than abstaining from it. This is why you should reward yourself every time you don't fap for a day. It doesn't even have to be anything big, it can be as simple as you at the end of the day acknowledging that you didn't fap and saying in your head "Well done, one step close to becoming the strongest version of yourself" or something like that.

Also for nofap follow these two pointers
>Do not in any way touch yourself sexually
A good way of getting rid of a boner is tensing both your thighs, the blood will rush to your thighs.
>Do not look at any images that are even subtly sexual, don't even fantasise in your mind.
This is an obvious one, just start making a habit out of avoiding those types of pictures. For example if you're in a discussion and the topic turns towards something sexual condition yourself to exit out of said tab literally as soon as you see it.

>Finally, my time management suffers when I am online (which is my source of study material). Any ideas on how to keep focus?
A good study routine used by some of the most productive people is 90 minutes intense work and 20 minutes rest and then repeat and so on and on. Use the 20 minutes for the sites that distract you as a reward and then when you return to studying use Leechblock(firefox) or stayfocused(chrome) to block the sites that distract you. It's better of course to exercise discipline so just make sure you don't exceed 90 minutes for studying and to reward yourself after each study block and avoid the above extensions.

Start recording your progress for exercise, study and nofap and in your diary along with the things you didn't do right, write the things you did do right.

>I seek excellence at everything I do
Considering how important our social life is it would probably be a good idea to achieve excellence in this area of life. Since you don't like to waste time, join clubs where not only do you talk to people but you also learn a skill. For example toastmasters club for public speaking skills, language classes, gym(You'll need heavier weights eventually anyway) and whatever else.

What's your end goal here? What do you see at the end of this tunnel?
Post last edited at

 No.680

>>679
I can't think of anything that makes me feel good. I can only think of things that feel bad and things that I don't mind. I am trying to cut the things that feel bad or are bad. I can't think of anything to reward myself with that I am not trying to cut off.

I like the idea of the study routine, thank you for that.

I don't have an end goal, improvement is a goal in itself, and if I ever reach a point where I think I don't need to get better, I will be fooling myself. I suppose the one thing I would like is to be remembered after I am dead, to do something that will go down in history.

 No.681

That sounds more "boring" than "self-improving".

 No.682

>>681
Just to clarify, you don't have to drop everything that gives you joy just to attempt to be flawless. What you've described sounds kind of bland. You need a bit of stimulation in your life as to avoid going crazy.

 No.687

>>682
Oh it's ok, none of that actually gave me joy, it just distracted me momentarily from the constant boredom and emptiness.

 No.688

>>687
That came out edgier than I expected.

 No.689

What's the saying? Everything's better in moderation? Don't bore yourself dude, some excitement is good every once in a while. Don't think just because you give in to a couple of sweets a few times and fap like once a month it's a bad thing.

 No.698

True self-improvement is knowing how to enjoy yourself but in moderation. Have a cigar to reward yourself after a long week etc. You don't need to stop it completely, you can be mentally healthy and still enjoy the odd degenerate activity


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