No.896
A while ago, I started to realize that I never really looked people in their eyes, I somehow grew up and got used to looking with looking at their mouths. Although even then when I talk to someone I often look away and only directly look into their eyes/face occasionally and for short times. Now after a quick search it seems like looking into peoples eyes is a way better thing to do as it shows confidence and dominance.
I'm trying to force myself to learn this habit, I still feel uncomfortable, but who knows what good it might bring later.
Now I'm wondering how many people are like me? Do you 'always' look people directly into their eyes during (serious) conversations? When talking with the opposite gender?
discuss
No.897
>>896>When talking with the opposite gender?by this I mean when flirting and shit, talking to qts
No.903
I used to avoid eye contact a lot. Then I realized it probably made me look submissive/beta as fuck and read up on body language. Mind blown.
Anyways. I have improved these things over a year or so and I think it has benefited me a lot. But eye contact still feels extremely awkward and doesn't come that "naturally". It feels 2intimate4me, especially if I'm close to the person, and I end up spilling spaghetti all over myself.
>Do you 'always' look people directly into their eyes during (serious) conversations?
Not _always_, it gets creepy pretty fast. It's normal to look away for a while. Don't overthink it.
>When talking with the opposite gender?
>by this I mean when flirting and shit, talking to qts
Above applies. But I do try to smile more and such if I'm interested.
No.905
>>896I try to look into peoples' eyes, but I make sure to look away whenever they do to avoid it being unnatural. You should also not focus on the same eye the whole time.
No.907
>>896>A while ago, I started to realize that I never really looked people in their eyes, I somehow grew up and got used to looking with looking at their mouthsThis is typical for autists, just saying.
No.909
THIS. People always mentioned it for years, so now I have to force myself to do it. It's so fucking uncomfortable though, but It seems to be getting a bit easier. Eyes are weird.
No.931
I like to look into the eyes of people walking past me. That way they either look away/at the ground or we just have a little stare-off until we pass. I think it is fairly good training as it makes me feel more comfortable doing it (that and it is kind of amusing seeing how easily intimidating such a simple thing can be).
No.932
>>896Rule of a thumb is: Look random people into the eyes for like 3 seconds, then look somewhere else. If you have interest into a girl, do 4 or 5 seconds. You will notice quite soon that people will treat your more naturally.
Don't do this
>>931 or people will think you are a creep or asshole. It might be okay if you don't give a fuck what people on the street think about you, but it is bad practice.
No.933
>>932People won't think either of those things. Do you think I stop and have a conversation with them or ever see them again?
No.934
>>933It's literally exactly what they think, you are some random dude starring them down on the street for no fucking reason whatsoever.
No.936
>>933>>934I don't think looking into people's eyes makes them think you're a creep. I like to do this to step out of my comfort zone, if it gets too weird i'll look away
No.939
>>936There is a difference between looking into peoples eyes and staring them down.
No.940
It seems like a lot of people, even normal, socially functioning people avoid eye contact. Especially men. So it isn't a huge problem OP, but it's still something to work on.
No.946
Show respect with initial eye contact, akin to a handshake, then look away if you're shy and nobody will be bothered.
>shy and neurotic
>never called on it because of a quarter second glance
No.948
File: 1424519980050.jpg (681.86 KB, 1985x1194, 1985:1194, Iris_-_left_eye_of_a_girl.jpg)
>>932pretty solid
also: if i talk to someone for the first time, i try to acknowledge each color in their eyes (you know, eyes have many colors in them)
No.953
>>936Tip I read from somewhere: Look at the stranger walking by just long enough to notice the color of their eyes.
No.960
I avoid eye contact with people, although I have been forcing myself to maintain it recently.
Thinking about why I do it, I feel as though when looking someone in the eye that they are much more aware of your emotional/mental state. It feels like they can read you better, which is not always good if you are a self-doubting neurotic.
I also find that it's easier to be dismissive with people if you avoid strong eye contact. People are less inclined to pursue conversations further and get the general vibe that you are disinterested/passive aggressive.
I guess that this is pretty intuitive. It should follow then that maintaining strong eye contact will make people feel more engaged with you and you will give off a more open and friendly aura.
I think that a probably have some intimacy issues/mild Asperger's.
No.964
>>948That is not her left eye.
No.1001
Listen up autists, I know exactly how you maintain eye contact with people without feeling intimidated/intimidating.
I'm a police officer, and since we're trained to watch suspects for body language, attempts at lying, signs of aggression, etc, it's vital for our own safety to talk to people with authority. It's hard to do that if you avert your eyes whenever some shithead swears at you and stares back.
You can either steel yourself and not give a fuck about what your conversational partner thinks about you, OR look at their nose while you're talking to them. This ensures that they think you're looking right into their eyes, and while your fear/anxiety of staring at them decreases.
And remember: it's kill or be killed.
No.1002
>>1001>listen up autists>proceeds to ramble like onetop lel
I'm good with eye contact if I remember to be so. Subconsciously it's too personal. Supposedly you can tell pupil dilation subconsciouly too when you and a girl are talking and making eye contact and I get this "feeling" if you will that they're warming up to me or whatever which makes me hella uncomfortable.
Most often than not though my eyes scan a persons face so I imagine my eyes wander a lot if you talk to me.
No.1097
My eyes are fucked. If I look someone in the eyes, they feel uncomfortable and wonder why one of my eyes is looking over their shoulder.
It takes that normal fear of 'what if that person thinks I'm staring too long or is getting creeped out' and makes it into a reality where people straight up tell you that they can't tell where you're looking.
I'm looking into corrective surgery, but we're talking 2-3 grand to sort this out. Then again, what's another few thousand on top of a student loan?
No.3526
No.3527
i don't have any advice but once in awhile during a spurt of confidence i'm able to pull off some smooth convos with a girl and if you manage to get some meaningful eye contact it can change the entire nature of a conversation that could've been about some dumb shit like the whether.
your gut knows and you can feel the air change around you… i know it's something to do with "chemistry" or whatever but it's fukken creepy to me.
No.5023
>>1001
but thats wrong faggot
>kill or be killed
the edge
No.5025
>>896
Had the same problem but after I knew looking someone in they is a sign of confidence I started to force my self to look people in the eye and now I am used to it.
Bonus I started to recognize the beauty in girls eyes
No.5062
>>1097
Don't fix things like this. You were gifted with a natural weapon, embrace it.
No.5293
No.5341
>>5025
>Bonus I started to recognize the beauty in girls eyes
Holy shit, this. And now I'm getting compliments on my eyes too