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File: 1424353137692.jpg (56.02 KB, 498x750, 83:125, selfconsius.jpg)

 No.915

Anyone else have a problem with being overly self-conscious in social situations? It seems short of being drunk, I can't act normal or relaxed around most people apart from my best friends. A large amount of the time I'll constantly monitor and analyse my actions, speech and body language rather than just acting naturally. I wouldn't say it's anxiety, just over analysis of my behaviour.
>"Shit my voice is too monotonous" etc.
This is worst when talking to girls.

Anyone got any pointers for this?How do I just tell that voice in my brain to fuck off? I find cold showers and a good sleeping pattern are helping but it's still fucking annoying and hindering my uni life from reaching it's full potential.

Cheers m80s

 No.928

>>915
Journalling may help. Not directly but it may help you with the voice in your head. For example you can record how you feel and act when you're with your best friends and then how you feel and act when you're talking with strangers. Then you can try to analyse and figure out why there is a contrast and then possibly even plan out an action plan on what you are going to do to imitate that feeling of comfort when you are talking with a stranger.

Journalling is pretty great at taming that voice in your head, at least in my experience. I've analysed so much in my journals I think it's been my solution to a lot of my social problems. I even have an entire action plan and approach to take when I'm faced with anxiety, so far I'm beating anxiety at every curb. Even gave a speech to a large crowd and came off as confident.

Use the journal wisely and it could be a great asset when it comes to crafting the direction you want your mentality to go.

 No.935

>>928
Will definitely give this a try, thanks mate.

 No.1360

This.

 No.1429

File: 1426032140661.jpg (111.37 KB, 774x900, 43:50, alanwatts.jpg)

"If you see you lack self-confidence you will make mistakes. You have to reguard yourself as a cloud, in the flesh because clouds never make mistakes. Did you ever see a cloud that was misshapen? Did you ever see a badly designed wave? No, they always do the right thing. But if you treat yourself for awhile as a cloud or a wave and realize you can't make a mistake, whatever you do because even if you do something that seems to be totally disastrous it will all come out in the wash somehow or other. The through this capacity you will develop a kind of confidence and through confidence you will be able to trust your own intuition. -Alan Watts

 No.1430

>>1429
I'll bear this in mind

 No.1434

>>915
>woe unto he who is loved by all

you need to understand that not everybody is going to like you. and if they do, then you're likely a two-faced faggot.
the important thing is to find those who share your interests so you dont have to pretend to be someone you're not around them. the best way to do this is to vocalize them. those who mock you for them are obviously not the kind of people you want to associate with.

i know it sounds hard (and trust me, it is at first), but once you find out who is/is not compatible with you the world becomes a far more secure place.

it is much better to know where the landmines are before you cross the field.

[bear in mind:] vocalizing your interests does not necessarily mean being an opinionated shithead. there is a time and a place for everything. two people in conversation about an issue which you disagree with them on does not necessitate you barging in like a faggot.

 No.1448

I used to have that and sometimes still do, but less and less every day.

I just remind myself that it doesn't matter. Let's say you look back 100 years in the past - there was a whole different set of people on this Earth doing their things. Loving, fighting, having problems, taking it easy, everything we do today. And you know what? Nobody remembers any of that shit.

When you go out, nobody is paying attention to you. Remember this - nobody cares about you half as much as you care about yourself. Nobody is looking at you, nobody gives a fuck what you do. And even if you fuck up in front of them, they'll completely forget before long.

 No.4451

Anyone know any good books for this?


 No.4685

I learned a really good technique for getting out of your head in social situations recently, and it's been a huge help. Especially if you've got any issues with social anxiety.

When you notice you're getting too caught up in your own head, naturally you start trying to reasonably calm down, telling yourself things you know are true like nobody is really paying attention to you, this isn't even a big deal, even if you do something stupid nobody will remember for long, etc. The problem with that is you're trying to be rational with irrational thoughts, trying to outsmart unreasonable emotions. You're also trying to get out of your head by getting deeper into your head. This is why that hardly works, if at all.

Instead, start intently focusing on the world outside you. Look at your surroundings and really see them. Look at what color they are and think about that color for a moment. See the textures, and the way things move in the wind. Don't just look at things though, use all your senses. Really smell the air around you, actually process it on a conscious level. Listen to your environment, pick up on all the little noises. Feel physically, the texture of your clothes on your body, your weight on your feet. If you're around other people you probably shouldn't just start rubbing things around you, for obvious reasons, but if you're alone and struggling with anxiety that may help.

To get out of your head, you've gotta get into the world around you. In a social situation, also really pay attention to whoever you're talking to. So often conversations are just thinly veiled narcissism where everyone is waiting their turn to talk about themselves. All you have to do to be a good conversationalist is actually listen and give a shit about what people are saying. Think about it, and talk about them with them. Don't just wait for your turn to speak, agonizing over exact phrasing and how they might respond and what you'd say next etc etc. Just listen, actually really listen and people will enjoy talking to you.

>>4451

Wherever You Go, There You Are is a good one.


 No.4688

>>4685

Cheers Anon. This is some good advice.




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