Hello everyone; I hope you don't mind the rambles of a stoned loser; but I need to get this out of my system.
Please forgive any errors; I'm stoned and English is not my first language.
I'm 23 years old and still live with my mom; she is around 45. Through my childhood I was very shy and fraidy; I was scared of everything, and therefore didn't socialize much.
Growing up I always had troubles with my feelings, procesisng them and expresisng them; and I was too much of apussy to talk to the girls I liked about said feelings.
I didn't have my first girlfriend until Jr. High; and she dumped me one month in. I've always had a very low self-esteem I've been slowly trying to rebuild.
I bloomed alittle in college; became less of aloser and started going out more. But I have no luck with love. I'm always affraid I'll get rejected if I don't know how to please them in bed. I'm affraid of nevermaking any one happy.
I have also always been very attached to my mom, and found her attractive since I was little. Back then my dad worked so much we barely ever saw him; and when we did my parents would fight, all the time.
I've always felt like i need to protect my mom, and to make her happy and proud of me, but it aches me to be a virgin looser. I wish she could teach me how to have sex, I want to feel her skin against mine, my cock inside her vagina, her lips on mine. I want to love her phisically, as I never could, and probably never will.
Thanks for listening.