December 29st, 2015, 01:57AM
The man sits hunched, thoroughly inebriated with a bottle of whiskey and sharpened up just enough on an 8ball of coke in honour of the great Ai Takabe, hallowed be her name
His lugubrious mass casts a whale-like shadow upon the walls of his basement
He carefully watches the clock tick down for the moment he has waited for, with bated breath, perhaps for his entire life
He has prepared carefully for this moment, spending literally hours of painstaking image collection on the dregs of the internet
He searches "8jp" and due to his extensive prior time spent on the site, he is prompted the address https://8ch.net/jp/
He grins
He prepares to start a new thread
He looks to the file upload, "Select/drop/paste files here"
He cannot contain his joy, he clicks the file upload begins to laugh maniacally
01:58:21
He must hurry
He scrolls down to his much adored file, aptly named "Flanfly"
His own brilliance only exacerbates his laughter, which gets progressively more shrill and makes his breathing ever more difficult
It is a picture of a hydrocephalic female with inhumanly dead eyes only attributable to the God-forsaken island of Japan
He clicks open on the file
His laughter has completely halted his already hampered ability to breathe
In the subject line he writes CHECK THE TIME
In the body he writes:
The best time of day has flanally come!
He double checks all his fields hurriedly, yet the process presents no barrier to his amusement and his seemingly psychotic cackling
As he begins to lose consciousness from a combination of his own brilliance, stepped on mexicoke, and pure concentrated diabetes he checks the clock, 02:01:00, and clicks "New Topic"
He smiles as he collapses to the floor, an amorphous twitching blob of alcohol and adipose that had found its own purpose in life, set out to complete it, and died in accomplishing that feat
In his final exhale, he whispers…
>Everyone has shit taste except me