/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness

>>28573

Porn is never kind.

>>28527

You are a human

>>28527

You have to decide for yourself what makes you happy. For me it's cool drugs, video games, friends and sex. I'd really like a girl someday that I can be best friends with and have a relationship with, but it's ok if I don't have that now.

Meaning is a weird way to put your life's function. Remember, if you don't have your own agenda you will become part of someone else's.

I used to listen to people about what I should do with my life, I was miserable and I wasn't in control. Now I am the master of my existence and I decide the fate of my world. I'm in control because I just took control. It's right there.

Keep your head up! You will understand what you really want if you just be yourself, and that's all you need to be. You aren't obligated to anyone or anything, you only need to give yourself a chance to be right. Trust yourself, trust your heart and be free of the burdens that others impose on you. Don't worry about it. You are in control now.

>>28727

Oh and btw it's easier to cultivate the self when there are no distractions, so do your body a favor and eat healthy and do exercise, as well as do your mind a favor by reading books or whatever that strengthens the mind, you do this so that you can focus on your self, otherwise the body is really naggy and demands a lot of attention from your awareness and it gets annoying so might as well do some good right?

Reading that passage over again I may have made some errors by not answering all of my own imposed questions thoroughly but after all I'm not doing so hot in school atm… and English has never been my best subject but hey, maybe I might have helped someone realize the things I have realized, and that's all that really matters to me at this point.

>>28537

Like literally not scared of anything? -because I'd find that impressive.

Anyway maybe the reason might not have a definitive explanation or maybe the cause just eludes you faster than you can realize it's there or something like that. The brain can be too tricky to observe but if you believe it possible maybe there's some methods you can set up to catch yourself on a reasoning or motivation.

I'm just spitballing here though, if you wanna give something to work with (not that anyone can promise any kind of expertise) you might get more helpful responses.

>>28539

-actually I wanna apologize right quick, by the nature of this thread you may not have wanted any kind of particular response or questioning so I don't mean to insinuate you're calling out for help.

Have a good day Friend.

For starters, there's nothing wrong with feeling that way, so stop punishing yourself or letting others look down on you for already being in a pretty gloomy place. Secondly there IS good and light and wonder in the world, but part of getting to it is seeing the evil and shittiness for what it is so you can reject it in favor of what you really love and care about. That may include all the defeatist/nihilistic replies you may have already expected to see here, but then again those may also be people fighting the same internal battle in their own way. Peace.

-cute gibberish

-yogurt

-gurls

-yellow or some soft cool color like that animu girl's eyes/hair

-clean sheets and soft clothes

Space bass

Cheese/butter, cherry, pistachio, liquorice, chilipepper

Citrus, fenugreek, pinetrees

Iridescent

Soft and smooth

>>28697

Bassy drums and gitahs.

Thick, juicy meat covered in an interesting medley of sweet-n-spicy.

"Low yet strong" things, like the right kind of subtly powerful cologne or innawoods after rain.

Rich, vibrant blue, especially paired with white or yellow/gold. Second would be deep, brilliant red paired with black or grey/silver.

Thin silk stretched taut.

>>28703

It's a strange thing, isn't it?

I suppose I want to be kind, so that therefore, others would be kind to me, if that makes sense.

>>28705

So you don't actually want to be kind…

To answer all your questions:

You do it, by doing it.

Make it your karma – and I don't mean the white-washed western misinterpretation. I mean as the ancient Hindu (who believe "you" are all, and all is "you", hence their mindset of karma makes no sense to those who believe they're wholly separate from the cosmos and not as contiguous with the everything-there-is as waves from the ocean or leaves growing from a tree) where what you put "out there" (I.e., put into yourself) is what "comes back to you" (I.e., you put it in you, so… well, there it is).

So put kindness "in you", "into" the Ultimate Ground Of Being (which is you; YOU are IT), and there it is, there you are. You are kind because you are kind. The verb and the noun are one and the same.

Something something frozen blackberries and frozen raspberries.

>>28713

>few months*

Actually it has been 10 months. I just add and subtract things and I write down experiences in my journal. I refered to short period of few months because I have in mind the most recent period since I changed something in diet

>>28699

exercise is placebo

>>28700

>Things like cognitive behavioral therapy are not placebos or meditations, though.

>If you continuously steer your thoughts in a certain direction, you actively "re-wire" the brain by strengthening connections and associations.

But I do not want to rewire me. I do not want to be "fixed" persistently. I only want to have option to temporary be able to do important stuff. Like one day a week. Or 2 hours a day. So magic pill drug fits better.

>Today I need to work on a task that is important to me.

>I am afraid of mental and physical fatigue from effort. But I know that this fear is not well-founded. I know that the fatigue will not kill me, and I know that it is temporary.

But my fear is well-founded. When I do some tasks (physical or mental) I am then exhausted for days or weeks.

I am even afraid to do things like potato peeling because I know I will just lose energy that I could use in better way.

>Mindfulness means constantly reminding yourself of these things when you are in the moment.

Won't work. Only makes me feel bad for not able to do things.

>When you feel like you cannot continue because you are not getting instant gratification, try to make yourself aware of the present. Then make a conscious decision to continue.

I am unable to make conscious decisions. I do not choose tasks I do. The tasks choose what to do with me. I need a drug that allows you to choose tasks that you do.

>>28713

>I found this website more useful

Actually I did visit those websites Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>28719

>But I do not want to rewire me. I do not want to be "fixed" persistently. I only want to have option to temporary be able to do important stuff. Like one day a week. Or 2 hours a day. So magic pill drug fits better.

Why wouldn't you want to be "fixed" when even something as simple as potato peeling is exhausting for you? Improving yourself and becoming a better person does not mean losing yourself.

There are no magic drugs, all of them come with side-effects that are at least as bad as their benefit is good.

>Won't work. Only makes me feel bad for not able to do things.

You haven't tried, you admitted that already.

>>28719

>exercise is placebo

You think so, do you?

Would you like to prove it?

I challenge you: 20 minutes HARD cardio (and by that I mean you being huffy and puffy for the full 20 minutes [warmups and cooldowns don't count: the timer begins when you start sucking wind], you can barely speak aloud 3-4 words before you have to take another breath, and when you get home its difficult to peel off your sweat-soaked shirt), every single day for one month. No skipping, no excuses ("wah my legs hurt" -> you get used to it; "wah I don't have the time" -> you're here long enough to type up your big ass replies, you have plenty of time; "this won't help" -> I know it will, so do it to prove me wrong), get out there and get it done.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/cardio/

http://scoobysworkshop.com/2010/08/14/importance-of-cardio-cardiovascular-exercise

Get out of here and make something other than excuses for once in your life.

That "something" being you, not that sad sack of fat and social dysfunction that's taken you over and leaving you a worthless waste of space who wants drugs (the pussy way out) to "fix" himself because he's too big a bitch to do hard work.

So throw out that internet-addicted sadsack cunt and get running/cycling/jump-roping, because you can be a sick cunt if you wanna be. Man cannot make himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.

You know what, forget anything I said. After reading more of your whining, you're just another attention whore bitching about your White People Problems. Boo hoo. Why the fuck anyone who sucks that hard would be afraid to "lose themself" is beyond me. If I failed that hard I'd throw myself in the garbage and replace me with something better.

Hope you're having fun with everyone sucking your foreveralone cock, pissing on everyone when they give genuinely helpful advice only for you to shoot it down. I for one am done wasting time on yet another slack-jawed waste of space, on yet another crybaby pussy, on yet another worthless whiny bitch.

As you are, you will never amount to anything.

Sage and thread hidden.

>>28666

>How do I learn to be happy?

You can't.

Emotions are a happening. They happen to you.

Stop clinging to the desire to control the uncontrollable – and to everything else – and you will.. no, you won't find it, but what you seek will find you.

>>28673

What a load of buddha.

>>28666

Lemme give you a little tidbit, Satan.

No one can be happy all the time. Hell, most people aren't happy most of the time. But they keep on keeping on because there are those brief moments that bring them joy. We look forward because we hope that we'll see another beautiful snowfall, play another great game with friends, eat at your favorite hole in the wall next week, listen to that album again, relax in the bath after another long weekend, or laugh at the stupidest jokes that you've heard a thousand times.

But every day you trudge through the monotonous muck and mire in quiet sorrow, and wallow in spite at another person, is another day you've put off finding something that makes you happy. But it's also another point of contrast that brightens up even the dimmest of lights.

You don't have to seize the sun to find a source of bright, happy light. Start small. Appreciate the morning hours of daylight. Laugh at a terrible joke or two. Listen to your favorite album. Take time out of every day to seek the bright things in your life. Try something new! Pick up a hobby, and stick with it if you find it fun, or drop it if you don't.

You might get discouraged along the way. You'll never find something like that, you'll say. It won't get better, and things will just continue as they have been. Well you're wrong there. Where do you have left to go when you reach the bottom? You can walk its endless floor, or you can kick off to what's above you. Mind you, gravity will pull you back down. But each time you jump your legs get a little stronger, and eventually you'll find yourself far above the ground. Just remember that you have to come back down, only to jump up again.

In short, friend, baby steps. Start small, and be patient. You have decades to reach the top.

t. A guy who struggled with depression for years when drugs, shrinks, and religion never worked

>>28691

>No one can be happy all the time. Hell, most people aren't happy most of the time. But they keep on keeping on because there are those brief moments that bring them joy. We look forward because we hope that we'll see another beautiful snowfall, play another great game with friends, eat at your favorite hole in the wall next week, listen to that album again, relax in the bath after another long weekend, or laugh at the stupidest jokes that you've heard a thousand times.

No I understand that's what life is like for everyone. It sucks and then you die and most people do exactly what you said.

I don't though. I haven't felt happiness in years. Not from snowfalls, not from games, not from food, not from music even if I think it's fantastic (I love music. I create my own but I don't feel happy doing it. I just do it to escape my shitty thoughts.), not from baths or hot tubs, not from stupid jokes or even retarded copypasta on the internet that even if I laugh at, I don't feel happy.

Maybe I do feel happy from some of these things but I don't know what it feels like to be happy. I just don't get it.

>Where do you have left to go when you reach the bottom? You can walk its endless floor, or you can kick off to what's above you. Mind you, gravity will pull you back down. But each time you jump your legs get a little stronger, and eventually you'll find yourself far above the ground. Just remember that you have to come back down, only to jump up again.

Sounds like what I've been doing for the past decade, except I only wander the endless floor and the gravity is due to a black hole; you never escape. I know part of it is due to unconditional/genetic/physical issues with my brain that haven't been solved, but even if they were I don't think I could make that jump to reach out of the bottom. I don't know how to jump that high if that makes sense.

>Gotta have a little sadness once in awhile so you know when the good times come; I'm waiting on the good times now.

I agree Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>28712

Are you trying to avatarfriend with all these girls cutting/killing themselves and guro stuff? Dude just stop.

>>28712

>>28715

I never paid much attention to stereotypical pictures of girls harming themselves, but now that you point out his tendency to post them it hits me. I feel like understanding this theme of hurting oneself could be the key to the problem of the prison of apathy, confusion and depression.

Why does a person feel attracted to pictures including the meme of hurting oneself?

If you are drawn to hurting yourself, then maybe all of your apathy and problems are intentional devices that you build to hurt yourself, because you find pleasure in that. It's like, you get hurt and don't want to get over it because coming back to the issue and experiencing this pain over and over again is somewhat pleasant for you.

I'm talking about here about "you", but actually I'm sort of thinking out-loud about my own problems. I feel like perhaps I could be doing this. Hurting myself with self-loathing and playing victim to cope (experience pleasant relief). Because letting go would be harsh.

But then, disregarding my own problems and accepting that my bullies did nothing wrong feels EXACTLY like the type of self-loathing I'm trying to fight. Holy shit this is some kind of paradox

On a side note, it made me chuckle how the anon >>28712 opens up so much and yet from all things you could point out, you shun him for avatarfriending. Like, lmao, what does it even matter

>>28684

I'm gonna pretend that's a boy

>>28685

different anon, but it's been decent in terms of lag. Got pretty bad about an hour ago, and at some points it was pretty much unplayable, but now it's really solid and has been for a while.

Thanks for hosting it, by the way. Haven't been here long, but it's pretty fun so far.

>>28686

my computer and the sever seem to be running stable near as I can tell so it might be an issue with my internet service I'm not sure I can fix that, might be one of my roommates watching net flicks or something tho I'll try to see what's going on when it gets bad and see about the service itself

>>28686

I'm glad you're having fun tho~

hopefully I can find time to get on for a bit so we can play it together

>>28353

>find a cute girl to be your best friend

I found a cute girl and am currently trying to be close to her by talking with her every now and again.

>similar interests

We both watch "The Walking Dead" and have some sort of fond memory of anime. If I'm not mistaken, she likes the same music as me too.

>hang out

Is this how it works? I don't want to force an interaction between her to just try to get to know her better. Like, she's agreed to watching movies with me. Except the movie comes out during the Summer. I'm such a dingus.

>Subtly Flirt

Um, I lean close to her whenever we talk and she doesn't move backwards. She also had stated that she really likes to talk to me.

Am I on the right track?

>>28359

Update: I used the opener "Greetings, Traveler" to ask the girl to the movies. It didn't work out. Fairly certain I scared her off. Hopefully she continues to talk about "The Walking Dead" with me.

>Have you ever been in a relationship?

2

>Have you ever been in love?

Never.

>Have you ever cuddled someone?

Yeah… I have cuddled like 4 people.

>What kind of person do you want to date/What kind of person are you dating currently?

I want to date someone that will love me for who I am. Excessive Video games, Drugs, Hugs, and Fugs

>Do you have any advice for Anons looking to get into a relationship?

Look out for yourself. The worst I've ever been was when I gave up everything for my partner and it still wasn't enough. People say you need to compromise and sacrifice, but I say no, you need someone who will love you for you, not try to change you. Find someone who really loves you.

This place is very comfy and I'll be very sad if something happens to it. That being said, I don't like acting mean to other people. I mean, I spend a lot of time looking down on myself, but my day is instantly better if I can make at least one person smile.

>>28104

You're thinking of Ted The Caver. Still on Angelfire or some other ancient free website host.

>>28142

Thanks anon!

>>28153

Post it here if you find it!