/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness

Lying to someone important to me bothers me more than it should and I'm not good at lying (nor can I put on a false face) or keeping track of lies so I try not to but still often. I tell the lie everyone does when asked " How are you?" as a pleasantry when you don't feel like (or outright are in a place where you can't be) giving a negative answer to routine politeness (on that note we're often prompted to lie because culrure has become too shallow or twisted). I don't think lying is okay if you're able to present the truth well enough but it can be a forgivable evil for sure. Sometimes the truth is an absolute no-go when handling people's emotions even if you want to be respectful and legitimate with them. For someone's cooking I would try not to lie. I do lies of omission all the time to a point where it's clearly a problem. It's not even just lies, I don't bring little things up and hope they'll get noticed because I'm awkward and moody and don't want to have to approach people or get their attention for things. Thether they count as lies isn't important, it's the essense of what you're doing that's bad regardless of definition.

 "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."

If an honest and dishonest man of equal standing and ability were to have dealings with one another, the dishonest man will always come out on top. There are those that will lie and scheme and manipulate others to get what they selfishly want.

It is often disadvantageous to be a straight forward open book. There are people who will take advantage of your honesty.

>>21225

>How honest are you, /kind/?

I'm completely honest with my good friends. I don't think there's anything they asked me that I haven't answered honestly.

>How often do you lie, and why do you do it?

Not very often. I'm having trouble thinking of the last time I did.

>Are little white lies OK?

Sure. If it's the best thing to do, then why not do it?

>For example, would you lie about someone's cooking so they don't feel bad?

Probably not. I'd rather have them learn from my criticism than let them stay bad.

>Is that the /kind/ thing to do?

I don't think so. The /kind/ thing to do would be to make sure they know how to get better at cooking.

>What about a lie of omission. Do they even count as lies?

No. You shouldn't be expected to tell someone everything about a situation if they didn't specifically ask for it. It's ridiculous.

>>21236

I really doubt that everyone you trust has told you entirely the truth.

>>21240

There's only one person that I trust, and I really doubt that I've been told anything but the truth.

>>21225

>How honest are you, /kind/?

Ummm… Kinda? It depends on the context.

>How often do you lie, and why do you do it?

As often as necessary.

>Are little white lies OK?

That depends - how bad would it be if the truth was revealed in the middle of a relevant situation? If the answer is "pretty bad", then don't.

>Is that the /kind/ thing to do?

Hahaha, no. In the specific example provided, it's better to downplay the problem as a personal dislike, then offer to show the person your method of cooking it - then go through it with them.

>What about a lie of omission. Do they even count as lies?

Depends on how relevant you perceive the the omission to be to the individual, or how terrible it would be if the individual acted without the omitted info.

>>21225

I always try to be honest even if it may upset someone. There's ways to tell people without being mean and I think dishonesty will cause more hurt and distrust in the long run.

>>21251

The problem comes about if the honest man is either an idealist, an autist or is naive.

The time it takes to realize the other party is dishonest, it may be too late. Fucking elders/society/religion teaches you to be good/kind/honest etc with the implied result that your life will be better off.

My point is that you need to be shrewd, cautious, skeptical of others and sometimes 'dishonest' to have a smoother life.

>>21225

Im so divorced from people IRL i don't have the opportunity to lie most of the time.

The only times i can thing of lying are on the internet as b8.

I lie being honest would get me in trouble. I like lying by omission because it's not an overt lie. I don't lie about big things though, mostly white lies, stretching the truth, omission etc. I prefer honesty but people scare me and I want to avoid conflict whenever possible.

I am completely honest with people. I used to tell people lies to make them feel good, doing so never amounted to anything good.

Someone who values your opinion could be building a delusion based on your lies about their appearance or actions.

I think people need to hear the truth.

>>21368

I feel ya, but I think that you play nice with others here and would probably like to be a kinder person is plenty kind in itself so it isn't a lie.

>>21347

Does the result of people liking you for being genuine scare you too?

>>21383

What subjects do you feel you need to dodge? Is it so bad you can't even tell us anonymously? Would it make you feel better to be able to tell these things at all? I imagine it's hard to keep track of it all and it taxes you heavilly but what do you think about your social and mental health?

>>21385

Drugs, pedophilic tendencies, misanhropic/nihilistic tendencies (secretly I always approve school schootings, because humans suck and I don't care if some good people die there, they just had bad luck, thats it). Don't get me wrong, I never would harm people without a good reason, because I think that the world is fucked up enough and I don't want to spread my silly hate in addition, thats unnecessary, I just don't really care if something bad happens though. These would be the main things, but there a lot of other things too (weeb, political opinions etc.), and even if they are not that bad, I just don't want to talk about them to people I can't rate and than worry about the conversation, because I tend to think afterwards "why you didn't just shut up?".

Of course its not a problem to tell this anonymously, but … oh well, again I wanted to lie (deleted a text here), but the truth is: I just like some attention and I wanted to provocate someone to ask me about this.

>Would it make you feel better to be able to tell these things at all?

Probably, but only if I can trust someone. But here we have the problem: I don't trust people, and even if I learned to know someone, I often think that they are not good enough to hear out my problems, because I'm a very special snowflake.

>social health

Fucked up, I'm completely isolating myself. Right now I have two friends left (not seeing them that often), but there I builded up a web of lies to keep this friendship, I'm just not sure if they are aware of that and just play along because they still like me. Rarely I'm together with both of them, and there I notice how schizophrenic I actually am, because I'm behaving and talking completely different if I meet them separately, I even change my opinion to some subjects, and at the end, I'm not sure which opinion is the true one.

>mental health

Totally fucked up.

>>21387

Sorry, I had forgotten about this conversation as it fell lower in the catalogue (that and my memory is garbage).

I don't judge you for anything you've said, a chunk of them I can very much relate. I know you say you don't want to trust anyone but if you wanted I would try to be the one to listen if you wanted to talk more privately. Biggest problem would be my own self-esteem really but if you can accept a guy like me and aren't afraid of ending up synchronizing our negativity I'd wait for you (I don't really have anyone to talk about sad things right now).

It can just be a trial run if you like. I'm around too much for my own good.

Skype:shammyal011

I usually lie because I'm too wimpy to tell the truth. Plus I don't want to spread my negativity.

I try to be as brutally honest as possible. I actually really enjoy being blunt with people, and most times it gets a laugh diagnosed sperg, pls no bully. If I can't bring myself to speak the absolute truth because the answer would be inappropriate, then I'll try to find a "technically true" non-answer, or just say nothing at all.

I wouldn't reveal to my parents that I was just masturbating if they ask me what I was up to for example, I would just say "nothing important" or "looking at random stuff online". I despise outright dishonesty, and I would never claim to have done something I hadn't.

It should be no surprise that I have no friends and have never been in a relationship.

I've always found it's generally better to lie to everyone about everything

>>21225

I used to lie lots, just genuinely for no reason at all like when it wasn't even necessary. I'm not really sure why, something to do with hating myself probably. I've managed to get it under control nowadays though.

>>21225

Honesty is the most important virtue to me. Truth affects everything from the most insignificant mundaneities (that should be a word) to the fate of the world. I figure feels are temporary, so the truth should take precedence over emotions. The only people it harms in the end are people who are slaves to their hearts anyway.

>>25324

Women don't care so much about whether or not what you're saying is true, as much as they care about whether you seem to believe your own lies, i.e., as long as you speak with confidence and absolution, then you're in the clear.

>How often do you lie, and why do you do it?

to everyone I know in person about everything.

Sometimes, I don't want to offend them too badly, since I don't think highly of them.

But mostly, I lie about myself. Whether it's the fact that I'm /trap/, or just my depression, I don't want to make people worry about me, so I pretend like everything's alright.

>Is that the /kind/ thing to do?

I have no idea, but others do lead much simpler lives due to it, so I'll say yes.

only exception was my girlfriend, as I was always honest with her, but she's gone now.

I tell the truth when I can.

I'm very good at lying instinctively, deliberate attempts are very obvious, though. Thus, if I feel the need to lie, I usually create a situation where I have to act quickly.

I don't keep track; there's no lie big enough that forced me to do so yet.

Lies are fine if they are made in good faith, e.g. if the truth causes more harm overall. A lie can serve as a buffer between you and others, giving you breathing room and the other party peace of mind. There are a lot of other uses for them, mostly not related to /kind/, though.

The value and legitimation of a lie is dependant on the relationship between those involved. Making a blank statement seems wrong in that regard.

Withholding information is not the same as manipulating it; but, again, context is everything.

>>21225

>Honesty?

I go as far with the truth as I can, but often I will mix truth with fiction to protect or disguise certain things I don't want known.

>How often and why?

Blatant lies? Not often. Half-truths? Pretty often. Like I said, some things people just don't need to know about me or someone else or what happened last night.

>White lies?

I think they're fine. Most people don't care about what's being said anyway.

>Lie about cooking?

That seems like a different issue. It depends on how well I know the person. If I know them well, then I assume they're asking for an objective appraisal, so I'll be completely honest. If I don't know them well, I'll assume they're asking for praise. In that case, I tell half truths, like they did very well on a certain aspect, but it could be improved overall.

>Is it /kind/?

In my personal opinion, sometimes lies are kinder than truths. Sometimes truths are far kinder than lies. It depends on the situation and person.

>Lies of omission?

It's not a lie if you don't include information they didn't ask for. However, you should always think ahead: if you can judge that they would like to know, then you shouldn't omit. But I wouldn't call it a lie.

I'm trying to rehabilitate myself after years of lying about everything

Started because I thought I was uninteresting and that I had to make stuff up so people would notice me. It got pretty elaborate, to the point where I would fake parties and meetings with people, hurt myself, etc …

I'm actively trying to be honest and to only lie when I feel it's necessary

Sometimes I'll still lie to strangers when I'm drunk but I try avoiding it

I recently broke down with a friend and confessed it to him. To my surprise, he was sympathetic and told me he understood and that he supported me.

Honesty does feel good though, even if I have to fight the lies that keep coming to my mind.

Sometimes I'll tell one without even noticing and feel bad about it.

I'm trying to come clean about a lot of things and this has been one of the hardest, because some people know a version of me that's based on these lies about my past.