No.27296
Would anyone care for some advice?
My friends have told me I'm good at giving advice for lots of things, so maybe I can help some friends here too! Ask for some advice on a problem and I'll try to help!
No.27298
By the way, one of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten was how much of a difference there is between 'I should' and 'I will'
Don't say, "man I should wash the dishes," or" dude wouldn't it be cool if we started a band? We should start a band!"
If you /really/ want/need to do something, then say "I will wash these fucking dishes" or "We will start up this motherfucking band"
Atleast to me, saying that I /will/ do something motivates me to do what I do.
No.27301
>>27296
hello advice-kun, I'm not sure if there's anything to be done about it but I have no motivation at all, and I kinda hate everyone a little bit including myself…
No.27304
>>27301
mm mm, well, the only thing that's ever worked for me to self-motivate is to tell myself that I WILL do something. That might help you too, but you will have to just like, say it out loud, ya know. Just whisper to yourself, I WILL get this assignment done before bed, or whatever it is you need to do.
For misanthropy, I think a nice place to start is here, which is pretty great considering how nice it is at this board, which offers a nice environment to not hate people. I won't tell you to go make friends or something stupid like that, since I don't think you're the type of person who can just 'make friends.' What I can tell you is that you should try talking to people, maybe here, maybe elsewhere. Honestly, I don't like anyone either besides my 3 closest friends, but I love those 3 guys with all my heart. Hopefully with some luck and time you'll find a really good friend, and a little bit of your hatred will be chipped away! I-I wouldn't mind being your friend, if you wanna IM over skype or something
No.27310
>>27304
what's your skype?
No.27311
No.27313
>>27311
anyone can contact me if they wanna talk personally by the way, I don't mind new friends c:
just tell me you're from /kind/ because I get a lot of bot spam
No.27316
How can I deal with the all pervasive /int/ bantz and /pol/ shit? Not going to mention where im from but im sick of seeing this shit on nearly every board I go. Ignoring something isn't impossible when it's in your face all day.
Before you say stop going to said boards, no, that's not an option. You try confining yourself to a handful of boards and tell me it's an acceptable idea
Don't dare redirecting me to reddit
No.27323
>>27316
I think you should just tell yourself what your beliefs are, and if you don't like the beliefs of /pol/ and /int/ then you need to solidify your beliefs and values, the easiest way is to just tell yourself what you honestly believe yourself. That may help to learn to ignore a lot of the persuasive stuff you'll see, and may even help further concrete your previous values if you can learn to recognize that \that\ is wrong to you. You should also try to just remove your anon-persona that a lot of anons develop, leading them to either try to fit in with the extreme-beliefs anons, or say things they don't \really\ mean, ya know.
No.27331
>>27323
The problem is not their beliefs (although I have a very negative view of them), but that they constantly shove it everywhere and regularly derail threads with it.
No.27332
>>27331
Perhaps 4chan is more your speed.
No.27334
>>27304
Alright advice-kun, I've got one for ya.
I'm older than anyone else on this board and I don't understand why people hate me so much. I have been kicked out of the past several apartments that I live in (and I currently live in a car) and I have been single for 30 years of my life. I can't get hired at any job that pays enough for me to live in an apartment, and I always get fired after 3 months because of conflict with management. I have a college degree and cant find any career work and I am losing money from student loans than I am gaining it with work. My teeth are falling out of my head, I have constant chest, back, and abdominal pains, and I am seeing a therapist who is frustrated that I can't buy pharmaceuticals to better my condition. I am told that I should move, but I have no money. I have applied for teaching positions at every major city in the state, with no luck for the past 5 years. I got fired from my last job for being sad at work.
What should I do, advice-chan?
No.27337
>>27334
Well, I honestly don't think I could tell you anything that would either be helpful or something you haven't already heard. I feel really bad that I don't know how to help you, but I'd rather tell you that than give advice out of my ass. My condolences, man.
No.27338
>>27333
Much of the userbase is /pol/acks fleeing the moderation on 4chan. If you're from Israel or whatever and don't like seeing /pol/ complain about jewish influence, then no advice is going to turn this userbase positive in your eyes.
No.27339
>>27334
Have you tried simply going to an employment agency? I'm curious how it turned out if you did already.
No.27342
>>27339
I've been to several. The last employment recruiter that I've been to was holding back tears.
No.27345
I sometimes hear unexplainable noises in my house at night. How do I defeat the ghosts if there are any? I want the noises to stop.
No.27347
>>27345
Not OP, but if you're religious ask a priest or pastor to purify your house.
If that doesn't work have a handyman look at it to make sure it's nothing like the roof leaking or rats in the walls
No.27348
How do I tell a girl I'm attracted to her?
I'm not right now but just in case in the future.
No.27349
>>27342
You've no doubt tried every normal option by now and your situation sounds incredibly tough, so it might be worth doing something more off the wall and joining some type of commune.There's a directory at ic.org.
No.27350
>>27348
well, if you have any suspicion that any sort of feelings are returned, i think you should /show/ it, rather than outright tell her (at first)
the most viable option is to ask her on a date, which makes it obvious you're attracted to her. It'd be weird for someone to just /tell/ you that they're attracted to you.
No.27353
>>27333
give me your lunch money!
No.27359
>>27347
Don't laugh but my dad brought over a Catholic priest last month and he blessed the house.
According to dad there used to be a lot more sounds but i wouldn't know; i was out of the country.
I heard an unexplainable thump sound last night and i was sleepy so i posted my question. Sounded like a book or something fell in the room but nothing was on the floor.
it's not like I'm scared or anything. I fear the living more than the unseen
No.27370
>>27359
Call Ghost Adventurers
The dead won't pay rent but you can still profit from this if you play your cards right
No.27404
I have a question. If I don't believe in God, why should I be a good person?
I like to think I'm not necessarily a mean person, but I am very selfish. I live as a NEET provided for by my parents and I know it's unfair on them but I don't have any motivation to be a good person and change that. I'd rather just do whatever is easiest, and that's being a dick to my parents by being a NEET. Work is hard work and there's not a lot that could drive me to keep doing it just for the sake of being a good person, which is almost meaningless to me since I believe when we die that's the end of it anyway and that there's not heaven or anything to reward me for being good.
No.27415
>>27404
You should be a good person because your actions affect other people. I also believe that death is the end, but that also means that this life is all we have. The least you can do is try to make this brief existence more tolerable for the people around you.
I had a relevant image, but this broken website isn't letting me post images for some reason.
No.27416
>>27415
I'll try to post it one more time.
Basically, don't be pic related.
No.27417
>>27415
But that's the thing. Simply 'being a good person' in and of itself isn't a good enough motivation for me to actually go out and be that. Being selfish is much easier, and I can actually see the benefits of it.
>>27416
I don't understand that image really?
No.27418
>>27417
Being good isn't about benefits, friend, although it does have benefits as well. If you're lazy and don't like doing things for other people, they're not going to do anything for you. If you make the people around you unhappy, they won't value your happiness either.
What I'm saying all boils down to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." There's no point wasting your life by spreading misery to those around you. The world is full of suffering as it is, so I would much rather alleviate that suffering for other people, knowing that I would appreciate if someone did that for me.
As for the picture, it's taken from a Christian comic by a guy named Jack Chick. That little kid is pretty much how he sees all atheists. But in reality, being moral doesn't depend upon a higher power, and I know that you have it within you to make the world a /kind/er, happier place, even if it is the more difficult option.
No.27420
>>27404
People naturally have innate senses of compassion, empathy, charity, etc. and would feel bad for burdening their parents unnecessarily. If you're deficient in this, then there is also pride and dignity that can motivate you beyond NEETdom. If you lack those as well and are content to simply stay the course until you die alone and unloved, then you can either accept that fate or seek clinical treatment. Have a Pepe.
Let me post, Hotwheels.
No.27424
>>27418
> do unto others etc
Which in and of itself is selfish.
No.27426
>>27404
Would god even have anything to say about a NEET lifestyle? Does god hate NEETs?
I mean, you're not killing, stealing, homosexing or having premarital sex. So I figured the Big Man Upstairs would be okay with it.
Perhaps you could look at it this way: the easiest path is never the most fulfilling. Hard work and hardship ultimately reward you. They earn you money, power, pleasure and prestige (now I wish there was a word for money that starts with a p). By contrast, the easiest path leads to obesity and ignorance, neither of which are pleasurable.
Life is short, futile and lived entirely on your own terms. So why don't you go out and serve yourself? Find some way to game the system and work less for more money, earn the unwarranted admiration of the many and wallow in your superiority.
I'm honestly starting to think there's some mental sickness keeping me from doing just that, because I'm in the same boat as you and I don't know why.
No.27433
File: 1456519358821.jpg (311.41 KB, 663x1129, 663:1129, Eugene_de_Blaas_A_Pensive_….jpg)
For people discussing God in the thread:
a) the substance that the unconscious and the conscious consist of is subject to the same evolutionary laws as everything else in the universe
b) this substance is never created or destroyed, only recycled
c) pattern of quantized moments of experience is inherently infinite
Advises you should consider:
a) expand your awareness and learn as much as you can during your lifetime
b) self-reflect on your automatic reactions to things eg. dissect your positive/adverse reaction to this very post you're reading
c) learn to remember you dreams
No.27437
No.27438
Here I go. It's gonna be pretty sad.
I had a very good friend for four years, happened to be a girl. Then I went ahead and suggested we try to be more than just friends, and she panicked so hard that she suggested we not talk to each other any more. She never had a boyfriend before. She would literally flush down four years of good memories than try giving us just one damn shot. She refuses to tell me why she thinks it won't work, and now she's dismissing my plea to drop the facebook chitchat and at least meet up in real life to talk through it like normal adults should (we're both 21+).
A major event is coming up in March which we're both going to attend. I'm at a point where I don't even know whether I would shout her head off or say sweet stuff to her if she agreed to finally talk there, but I doubt she will. I'd love to say I'd be able to cut my losses and bail, but damn son… four years, you know? And we had absolutely great chemistry. Makes no sense.
No.27439
>>27437
Are you calling me a Jew?
No.27452
File: 1456590043391.jpg (277.7 KB, 663x825, 221:275, 688605e6e42ef172e58c41b456….jpg)
>>27296
I'm really bad at skinship/physical contact, do you, or anyone here have any advices? My childhood is pretty lonely and that's how I grew up. But needless to say I'm inexperienced with relationships and a virgin, but that's besides the point.
I get really uncomfortable when people make close contacts with me, I tense up when people put their arms around my shoulders, I get really uncomfortable when people touch my arms, I step back instinctively whenever people approach me and stepping on the imaginary line, I think twice before sitting next to someone, etc etc etc.
One of the biggest problems here are hugs. I got kind friends who offers me hugs whenever I look blue, yet the hugs never felt natural and always feels a bit awkward. My body feels rigid, my torso always try to pull backwards, and I don't know where to put my head.
By all means, I do not hate physical contact. If anything, I'm glad they think I'm good enough for physical affections, it's just that I'm just not used to it. Wat do?
>tfw I can only feel a comfortable, natural sensation from hugging my own pillow.
>tfw the only time I can feel a natural hug from another person is from my mother.
No.27484
>>27452
Not OP here, you might not like this advice, but here it is: don't feel too bad about it. I'm in the same boat as you (although not a virgin, I did not lose my virginity until I was 27). The fact that you can feel a natural hug from at least you mother means that your situation is not hopeless. It just means you need to feel very close to somebody before you can feel comfortable having physical contact with them. Even to this day, I can only have a natural hug with my mother, my wife, my daughter, my cat, and my one male best friend who I've known from childhood. Anyone else, male or female, no matter how well I know them, I can barely tolerate any physical contact, even something as simple as a business handshake.
Here's something you could try. Next time one of your kind friends offers a hug, explain your situation, and ask if you can "take the lead" in the hug, that is, you initiate the hug, even asking them to not hug you back if it helps, and ask your friend to give you feedback on how your hug felt. I admit I've never tried this myself though, because at this point in my life, I've got comfortable with my uncomfortableness, as strange as that sounds.
No.27485
>>27426
> (now I wish there was a word for money that starts with a p)
payment, property, pesos
thank you, thesaurus.com
No.27499
>>27452
were you molested or something? just hug onto them.
part of being natural and not being awkward is being relaxed, the more relaxed you are the less you'll think about your actions and the more natural it'll all be. You can do this by just generally spending more time with people, like if you were to hug someone 100 times a day, after a week you'd really not care about it any more. you can also learn to control your emotions through meditation or something so you can be more relaxed
No.27503
>>27452
I'm an asshole but my advice might be a bit extreme. Go to a strip club. Whenever i went (this was like 5-6 years ago) I'd get hugs. I'd also get lap dances if I paid for it. You can also get a normal massage just so that you get accustomed to human contact. If you have some money to waste and feeling adventurous you could get a full body rub.
Also i remember when i was living alone for a few years the sensation of a hair dresser cutting my hair felt nice. That is also human contact. So next time you go for a hair cut, just relax and try to enjoy it. Also talk to the people. Anyways, good luck anon. Hopefully you solve your problem and you aren't just a hugslut with a fake sob story
No.27504
>>27452
Do you want to practice on me?
No.27866
I kinda need advice,
I'm kind of angry at my friends for doing something dickish to me in this Tabletop game, they pretty much left my character behind in the car because he once didn't follow an order, thus leaving me out of the game. This already made me salty so I just left the game after 10 minutes of hearing them have fun, leaving the Skype Call on since I was hosting.
After an hour I returned and sheepishly asked if I can somehow join in, the DM said yes but seeing as I was gone that entire time… I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Leaving me to question what was happening, the DM and the person who made me wait in the car got angry… pissing me off and thus killing the call.
I just wanna know, what do I do now? I feel terrible for being angry at them but I also feel betrayed in some way. I wanna ask the usual guy I ask for help, but he is in the same Skype Group, which I left in anger.
I've already had multiple times when problems arose with them, usually because of something I did since I'm a complete social retard, but now I just am.. scared I guess to talk to them I guess. So, to summarize my question… what do I do now /kind/?
No.27903
Okay, so, this is kinda dumb, but I asked a girl if she wanted to watch a funny video over coffee. She said yea, I'll let you know. She hasn't and it was 2 weeks ago. I was just trying to make a new friend since she was always nice to me. Should I clarify that to her because she is nice and I'd really like to make a new friend there.
No.27908
>>27903
I don't think there's much you can do about it. If you see her often, just continue making conversation, jokes, and you'll be friends without either of you asking. If you don't see her often, you probably can't be her friend. Even if you really do want nothing more than a platonic relationship, "friend" is normally a code word between the sexes and she'll likely saw your invitation as such. You could invite her to group gatherings and try to bond with her there, though.
No.27919
>>27866
That was a really dick move by them, and you have a right to feel betrayed. On the other hand, if you're in a big group and going full retard against them, it kills all fun for rest of the group really fast.
If you have good enough relationship with that guy you should talk to him and ask what you did wrong. Also going into group chat and writing something like "Sorry I ragequit on you guys, but you acted like retards and left me out completely, it was not fun at all." can help too.
Overall try not to go against group decisions unless you know for sure what works with them and what doesn't. Especially if you know that you can be socially retarded.
No.28112
>>27908
>>27903
I'm not this anon, but I have a similar question- how do I ask a girl to hang out with me so that she doesn't assume I'm romantically interested? Is that even possible?
No.28113
>>28112
It's difficult unless you two share a common hobby, goal, activity or sport. I played tennis with a Chinese girl an entire summer. We both sucked but thought it was fun and wanted to get better.
Once the weather got cold we stopped seeing each other.
No.28117
I don't enjoy anything, do not like any of the people around me and feel like I'm wasting away my life because I have no motivation to do anything useful with it.
And the last time I went on antidepressants or therapy, I wanted to go to sleep even more.
what do?
No.28119
>>28112
Why don't you tell her that you're not trying to hit on / date her? I always find that bluntness is best. Don't try and play the social game of subtle signalling because the other person is likely just as bad at it as you are. The same goes for if you are romantically attracted, just make it clear from the get-go.
>>28113
>Once the weather got cold we stopped seeing each other
You could, you know, I dunno, text her and ask if she's down to hang out?
>>28117
>I don't enjoy anything, do not like any of the people around me and feel like I'm wasting away my life because I have no motivation to do anything useful with it.
When you say you're afraid that you're wasting your life, does anything come to mind that you feel you should be doing? Motivation is a fickle bitch, even if you're completely mentally healthy. Discipline is much more useful, so you should try forcing yourself into a routine where you're working towards your goal.
>last time I went on antidepressants or therapy, I wanted to go to sleep even more.
Did you stick with them a long time? I heard it takes a while for the desired effect to kick in. Even then, the drugs we have currently are indeed pretty lame, but perhaps they can help you function, friend. I hope so!
No.28120
>>28119
>does anything come to mind that you feel you should be doing?
Nothing specific, no. I don't really find anything I start doing enjoyable in any way. And without a real goal, motivation is hard to find.
>Discipline is much more useful
Well, again, I'd need a goal for that, which I don't have and can't seem to find. I'm not happy with my life, but I don't see any way for it to get better that I could pull off.
>Did you stick with them a long time?
year and a half
>but perhaps they can help you function, friend.
They helped for a bit, but then I realized that everyone had been lying to me when they said that everything would get better, and that the only reason I was happy was because of the drugs. Not only did it undo any progress I had made, I think I regressed even further, realizing that I'll never be able to properly socialize without the help of drugs.
No.28123
>>28120
>the only reason I was happy was because of the drugs
Happiness is in short supply for all of us, friend. Perhaps you had better take what you can get. The more you dwell on things, the more "fake" life seems. So it's best not to do that. If medicines are what make you more functional, then use them.
I have no idea what it's like in your situation, but try broadening your horizons and trying new things? Or pursue something that you think a good person would do. Helping people, perhaps?
No.28126
>>28123
>Helping people, perhaps?
There's nothing I'm worse at than helping others. or myself, for that matter.
No.28132
I'm going to lunch with a girl next week. I really want her to like me, and I think she does, but some other anons have convinced me that I wasn't forward enough and that she only likes me as a friend. Am I just psyching myself out? My working theory is that I'll go and be a bit more forward which leaves me with an escape valve if I'm wrong. I'm pretty bad at reading people, though. I read today that girls wanting to hug you is a sign they're interested, is that true? This girl seems a bit more forward with hugs than others I know.
No.28140
>>28132
>Am I just psyching myself out?
Yes.
No.28144
>>27296
Is it kind to sometimes bully people?
Yesterday someone did something really cringeworthy and I helped bully them so they wouldn't do it again. He will have benefited from it in the long run
No.28147
>>28144
It depends on what you did and how he took it. If you were constructive and not overly harsh, then I think that would be kind.
But on the other hand, I've done some really cringeworthy stuff in the past that I'm still embarrassed about, and that embarrassment and fear of embarrassment is one of the things that makes it difficult for me to interact with people. If someone had come along and bullied me after I did something cringeworthy, I'm pretty sure that would only have caused me to withdraw from other people even more.
No.28184
No.28333
Where do I meet new people? School is not an option, and I have no interests or hobbies. No bars around me, no real libraries either. And fuck no, I'm not setting my foot in a club.