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/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness

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File: 1457718626209.jpg (79.61 KB, 750x750, 1:1, Super-Mario-bros-15-cm-Str….jpg)

 No.28163

what did the alien say to the cat?

take me to your litter

 No.28164

File: 1457718819728.png (199.3 KB, 600x729, 200:243, 1452089230157.png)

>I love puns

>even horrible ones

>I didn't laugh

what is wrong with me?


 No.28183

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investigator.


 No.28192

I'm a dragon. Do you know what it's like being the last of your kind? Do you?

I don't since meeting my mother-in-law.


 No.28197

File: 1457757796110.png (670.5 KB, 516x544, 129:136, image.png)

I work at Subway and can be a jokey person sometimes.

One of our cheapest sandwiches is the Cold Cut Combo (or the Trio as Subway now calls it with their absurd terminology and scripting). It may look like just one thing but it's more than meats the eye, a cut above the rest.

By definition it's just bologna. They can go to hell for the things they make me explain.

Sorry, I can't serve you that sandwich, our cambros B MT'd.

Gonna get the wheat bread despite seeing it's small and undercooked? Your choice wheatard.

Badly made bread and frozen meat? Enjoy your chicken tear-y yucky.

Jared gets into Subway's favor when they make him eat fresh but suddenly it loses him his contract and lands him in jail.


 No.28237

so a horse walks into a bar

and the bartender says

why the long face


 No.28238

>>28237

A blind man walks into a bar. His face hurts.


 No.28242

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor


 No.28243

What did one clock say to the other?

"You're really ticking me off!"


 No.28246

File: 1457828192136.png (370.76 KB, 565x600, 113:120, 1433379322792-4.png)

>I'm back

Hi, Back, I'm Hungry


 No.28276

File: 1457882311163.jpg (16.23 KB, 213x309, 71:103, 1417266030204.jpg)

What's white and can't climb trees?

A refrigerator


 No.28297

File: 1457920523898.jpeg (183.86 KB, 780x830, 78:83, image.jpeg)

>>28246

>"Hey, you got a sec?"

Yeah, I have lots of sex.


 No.28354

File: 1458010675636.png (142.97 KB, 412x900, 103:225, shiratsuyuyu.png)

What do you call a painting of a cat?

A paw-trait!


 No.28460

Ugh, this thread reeks of updog OP.


 No.28466

File: 1458158509413.jpg (174.44 KB, 640x640, 1:1, question-nozomi.jpg)

>>28460

What's updog?


 No.28468

File: 1458158856140.jpg (29.06 KB, 350x350, 1:1, 1458152875041.jpg)

>>28466

I dunno, what's up with you?


 No.28478

>>28468

God fucking damn it Carlos, this may be /kind/ and we may already be joking but I'll be damned if I tolerate your bullshit.

Oh… phew, that uh… past demons. Yeah. Sorry Friend.


 No.28561

File: 1458326032470.jpeg (97.99 KB, 800x746, 400:373, image.jpeg)

>Knock knock

>Who's there?

>Boo.

>Boo who?

>You don't have to cry man, it's just a joke.


 No.28566

File: 1458334246003.png (197.8 KB, 338x498, 169:249, left leg.png)


 No.28583

File: 1458353079440.png (335.73 KB, 308x450, 154:225, image.png)




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