/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness

I tried 4mg nicotine, but nothing happens

>>28679

>I assume you have tried partially re-wiring your brain via the conventional means?

Aren't drugs the conventional means?

>That is, by using techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy, practicing mindfulness, and writing down your thoughts?

Haven't. And I don't think that will work for me. Placebo, religions, meditations don't work on me.

>tianeptine - but it also raises mood, I don't want that.

>Why not? Sounds like you could use some happiness.

I do not like happiness, at least not drug-induced one. I like sad, miserable. But I need ability to do tasks that are important for me, now unable. Can only instant gratification.

>>28677

Cardio.

>>28682

what? you meant exercise? it only makes me more fatigued

>>28687

What about yoga?

I come from oddly similar position. Even the unhealthy food thing. With the exception I'm probably not deep enough into mental/financial crisis to try risky nootropics (I'm only 23)

I think l-theanine is the only thing on your list that doesn't have sketchy risks related to health. It isn't a scam, but it has subtle effects. After drinking 2 cups of high quality white tea or yerba mate I become very alert, calm and focused. It's always there, even though I drink it almost every day, and I see no negative effects. It's like caffeine but more meditative

Some other stuff that won't fuck you up is curcumin. The one in shops often has a lot of useless shit added, so you'd have to research and find the right stuff.

>>28687

>>28682

What does it mean when people talk about cardio or physical exercise in topics like this? Studies also confirm this, but what is going to change as far as my perception is concerned? What is the feeling I'm looking for? Because I've been trying HIIT and lifting and I didn't see any differences. In fact, I even used to work physical job in factory for half a year. I didn't see changes in perception back then. In my teenagehood I would help my father with stuff like cutting trees for hours and I didn't see difference back then either…

>>28694

Is the change in mental state after exercise somewhat similar to the feeling after taking cold shower? Because 20 minutes after cold showers I feel pumped up, and after exercise perhaps too, except it's more subtle. And quickly fades away. Is this it?

>>28692

>What about yoga?

yoga is placebo, it "works" but only for people that are mystical-type of person

>>28693

>I think l-theanine is the only thing on your list that doesn't have sketchy risks related to health. It isn't a scam, but it has subtle effects.

subtle? so maybe I won't try it, I need strong effects.

>After drinking 2 cups of high quality white tea or yerba mate I become very alert, calm and focused. It's always there, even though I drink it almost every day, and I see no negative effects. It's like caffeine but more meditative

I tried teas (white green black) and yerba mates, but I barely feel anything even at higher doses.

>Some other stuff that won't fuck you up is curcumin. The one in shops often has a lot of useless shit added, so you'd have to research and find the right stuff.

Wikipedia doesn't say about curcumin psychoactive effects. Maybe it's healthy but I don't see how it can turn me into monster

>Some other stuff that won't fuck you up

I don't care, can fuck me up, I have no choice, I get strong drug that works or I'm done…

>>28694

they believe in exercise and they promote their religion

>>28696

Yoga is not placebo, it's exercise but also relaxing.

>>28696

I used to spend months reading on nootropics and supplements and approached it with your attitude. I found this website more useful than wikipedia:

https://examine.com/supplements/curcumin/

also https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/

After months of intensive researching I realized that my nootropic/health craze falls into patterns that are typical for people with certain personality/personality disorder. There are a lot of people like me and you who are onto their "quest" to find "solution" to their problems: fatigue/low ambitions/procrastination/adhd/lack of purpose in life/mental fog/depressed energy.

I tracked stories of people like us who delved into nootropics and found out that… tragically, no one solved their problems this way. If you look at people like us, with these patterns of looking for nootropics or experimenting with no-fap, and you'll look at us in the big picture, you'll see it's our religion. It's a way for us to cope. I eat food with "prayer" that it will heal me, and it gives me purpose, (except I don't call it prayer). I hope that makes sense.

L-thenine and curcumin have effects that can be compared to coffee. They're very subtle. Anything stronger than that will build tolerance in 1-2 months and/or you'll "pay" for it by period of even worse mental fog/depression. Some people get even affected for life.

Right now I'm trying the route where I pay extreme attention to the synergy between foods I eat eg. make sure not to eat antagonistic types of food together, avoid sugar and processed foods, pay attention to sleep, exercise, cold showers.

I don't see any difference after a few months but I "pray" there will be. I'll try it for some time, and if it doesn't work, I'll kill quietly myself. But at least I will go out with the conscience that I tried with all my might.

The thing that worries and depressed me the most is that I feel I'm the only one for whom things like exercise or no-fap DON'T FUCKING WORK! I went for half a year without fapping and I just had erotic wet dreams, that's all. When it comes to lifting it's the same. I feel like people who lift have some kind of fetish for athletic thought in their nature/nurture and so they get high off the idea of getting fit. It's religion for them, but not for me. I wish I knew what is my religion. How come I don't get "high" off anything productive eg. research, math, sex, relationships etc. like all normal people. Is this the Internet and memes that fucked up pathways in my brain? Is this because I was brought up by parents who are somewhat withdrawn loners?

>>28713

>few months*

Actually it has been 10 months. I just add and subtract things and I write down experiences in my journal. I refered to short period of few months because I have in mind the most recent period since I changed something in diet

>>28699

exercise is placebo

>>28700

>Things like cognitive behavioral therapy are not placebos or meditations, though.

>If you continuously steer your thoughts in a certain direction, you actively "re-wire" the brain by strengthening connections and associations.

But I do not want to rewire me. I do not want to be "fixed" persistently. I only want to have option to temporary be able to do important stuff. Like one day a week. Or 2 hours a day. So magic pill drug fits better.

>Today I need to work on a task that is important to me.

>I am afraid of mental and physical fatigue from effort. But I know that this fear is not well-founded. I know that the fatigue will not kill me, and I know that it is temporary.

But my fear is well-founded. When I do some tasks (physical or mental) I am then exhausted for days or weeks.

I am even afraid to do things like potato peeling because I know I will just lose energy that I could use in better way.

>Mindfulness means constantly reminding yourself of these things when you are in the moment.

Won't work. Only makes me feel bad for not able to do things.

>When you feel like you cannot continue because you are not getting instant gratification, try to make yourself aware of the present. Then make a conscious decision to continue.

I am unable to make conscious decisions. I do not choose tasks I do. The tasks choose what to do with me. I need a drug that allows you to choose tasks that you do.

>>28713

>I found this website more useful

Actually I did visit those websites before too, when I did a list of stuff to try. But they often overrate the benefits.

>I tracked stories of people like us who delved into nootropics and found out that… tragically, no one solved their problems this way.

Yep, and if it "works" on somebody, it's the people who don't really needed anything anyway.

>L-thenine and curcumin have effects that can be compared to coffee. They're very subtle. Anything stronger than that will build tolerance in 1-2 months and/or you'll "pay" for it by period of even worse mental fog/depression. Some people get even affected for life.

I will risk. And tolerance is not that big problem, as I don't need to be better 24/7. I would gain much even if I could use magic substance one day a week.

The subtle substances doesn't work on me, I tried some of them, like tea coffee yerba mate. I need strong stuff.

>I don't see any difference after a few months but I "pray" there will be. I'll try it for some time, and if it doesn't work, I'll kill quietly myself. But at least I will go out with the conscience that I tried with all my might.

Why won't you try some strong dangerous stuff, like amphetamines or other stuff?

Also, quietly killing yourself not great, would recommend to make payment to humans, for bad stuff they did.

>The thing that worries and depressed me the most is that I feel I'm the only one for whom things like exercise or no-fap DON'T FUCKING WORK! I went for half a year without fapping and I just had erotic wet dreams, that's all. When it comes to lifting it's the same. I feel like people who lift have some kind of fetish for athletic thought in their nature/nurture and so they get high off the idea of getting fit. It's religion for them, but not for me.

Yes, it's just placebo, religion. That's why it "works" for them. And also, those people don't really have problems and they don't really need a fix, they just whine that they only did 5 important things a day but they wanted to do 6…

>I wish I knew what is my religion. How come I don't get "high" off anything productive eg. research, math, sex, relationships etc. like all normal people. Is this the Internet and memes that fucked up pathways in my brain? Is this because I was brought up by parents who are somewhat withdrawn loners?

But do you really want those "productive" things? I don't, I only need "important" tasks because THEY and THEIR world forces me to. For example, if you don't work, they take food from you, and make you hungry and suffering. They treat us like slaves. I'll make them pay for what they did.

>>28719

>But I do not want to rewire me. I do not want to be "fixed" persistently. I only want to have option to temporary be able to do important stuff. Like one day a week. Or 2 hours a day. So magic pill drug fits better.

Why wouldn't you want to be "fixed" when even something as simple as potato peeling is exhausting for you? Improving yourself and becoming a better person does not mean losing yourself.

There are no magic drugs, all of them come with side-effects that are at least as bad as their benefit is good.

>Won't work. Only makes me feel bad for not able to do things.

You haven't tried, you admitted that already.

>>28719

>exercise is placebo

You think so, do you?

Would you like to prove it?

I challenge you: 20 minutes HARD cardio (and by that I mean you being huffy and puffy for the full 20 minutes [warmups and cooldowns don't count: the timer begins when you start sucking wind], you can barely speak aloud 3-4 words before you have to take another breath, and when you get home its difficult to peel off your sweat-soaked shirt), every single day for one month. No skipping, no excuses ("wah my legs hurt" -> you get used to it; "wah I don't have the time" -> you're here long enough to type up your big ass replies, you have plenty of time; "this won't help" -> I know it will, so do it to prove me wrong), get out there and get it done.

http://scoobysworkshop.com/cardio/

http://scoobysworkshop.com/2010/08/14/importance-of-cardio-cardiovascular-exercise

Get out of here and make something other than excuses for once in your life.

That "something" being you, not that sad sack of fat and social dysfunction that's taken you over and leaving you a worthless waste of space who wants drugs (the pussy way out) to "fix" himself because he's too big a bitch to do hard work.

So throw out that internet-addicted sadsack cunt and get running/cycling/jump-roping, because you can be a sick cunt if you wanna be. Man cannot make himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.

You know what, forget anything I said. After reading more of your whining, you're just another attention whore bitching about your White People Problems. Boo hoo. Why the fuck anyone who sucks that hard would be afraid to "lose themself" is beyond me. If I failed that hard I'd throw myself in the garbage and replace me with something better.

Hope you're having fun with everyone sucking your foreveralone cock, pissing on everyone when they give genuinely helpful advice only for you to shoot it down. I for one am done wasting time on yet another slack-jawed waste of space, on yet another crybaby pussy, on yet another worthless whiny bitch.

As you are, you will never amount to anything.

Sage and thread hidden.