[ home / board list / faq / random / create / bans / search / manage / irc ] [ ]

/kind/ - Random Acts of Kindness

No Bully! Help Others!

Catalog

Email
Comment *
File
* = required field[▶ Show post options & limits]
Confused? See the FAQ.
Embed
(replaces files and can be used instead)
Oekaki
Show oekaki applet
(replaces files and can be used instead)
Options
dicesidesmodifier
Password (For file and post deletion.)

Allowed file types:jpg, jpeg, gif, png, webm, mp4, swf, pdf
Max filesize is 8 MB.
Max image dimensions are 10000 x 10000.
You may upload 5 per post.


File: 1458715970438.webm (959.53 KB, 640x360, 16:9, nyantwister.webm)

 No.28783

I've known all my life something is wrong with my head, wrong with me. What specifically, I don't know and have little idea on how to go about knowing. (Hence this post.)

The only two hard facts I have are:

1) I was shaken as an infant

2) Like a handful of you I grew up severely bullied and socially isolated which only fucked me up even worse.

I have many, more "soft examples" of my many social dysfunctions and unproductive proclivities which I'm sure a handful of you habe experienced too but I won't go into them here. Blah-blah HKV, yadah-yadah vidya only friend, le attention-whore suicidal and le edgy homicidal thoughts, you know the same old story.

Though I will say I was put in the special education classes all my school years. I've been "diagnosed" (i.e., "fuck if we know, let's just stamp the dumb child's forehead with SOMETHING so we can toss him in the sped room and fuhgeddaboutit until the next time his mom or dad comes bitching at us for not doing anything, fuck actually helping him and fuck his nagging cunt parents too") with just about everything from retardation, down's syndrome, schizophrenia, sociopathy, autism, asperger's… That last one seems the closest but still not quite (I understand empathy, I don't have a laser-focus on pointless shit, and so on), but I'm not going to trust any "diagnosis" from minimum-wage-paid middle- and high-school counselors. Especially since the idea about asperger's came from my mom watching Oprah of all things. That alone is enough to trip my bullshit meter.

Anyway, post-HS I've tried several generic therapists and counselors to try and get help but they don't really listen. I think they expect me to "just bee myslef xD" and treat my introspective tendencies like it were a disease – some of them were quite frankly insulting, dismissing my 3-5 page "this is how I feel, this is a short history of my painful upbringing, these are what I think are wrong about me," self-introductions since I suck at verbal communication; that one asshole refused to even take it from my hands, calling it "just information" and "I wanna hear from the 'real you'" I so wanted to break his smug jaw right then and there.

And in almost all cases they just give me a one-page questionnaire with less than a dozen dreadfully hazy lines like "I feel like I am not as far as I wish to be in life: Strongly Agree, Agree, etc." and with that and that alone decide I am "chemically imbalanced" and try to put pills in my hands and send me on my way. Fuck. That. Shit.

 No.28784

>>28783 (continued)

What I'm looking for is PROFESSIONAL, SPECIALIST help, and I have no idea where to go to get it because I have little specific idea about what the hell is wrong (or right?) with me except vague symptoms and nameless negative (neutral/posititve?) emotions and desires like:

>All my life I've felt like I were wrong to my very core, like I don't belong in this society/on this planet. My values, wants, needs, and such are completely at odds with those around me; they don't understand mine and I don't understand theirs.

>I don't know how to lead a conversation.

>I often feel an overwhelming urge to create things, anything from writing to drawing to animating to singing to sculpting to painting…

>I can't reconcile the want to belong and the want to be left alone; this cognitive dissonance makes my brain hurt if I try to dwell on it.

>I find interacting with people beyond the superficial (e.g., grocery store clerks or passing by a coworker) for long leaves me mentally and emotionally drained and I can only recover by sitting quietly and doing 'nothing' in seculsion for a while, and if I don't get my alone time I start going neurotic and short-tempered.

>I have nasty and violent fantasies about people who slight me.

>People keep ignoring and talking over me, then asking "wat's wrong?" and "y so quiet?"

>I hate myself. I don't want to live anymore. Why? See above.

And so forth.

Who's to say if some of the things I've listed are actual "defects" in my being or are just personality traits/quirks that are incompatible (or I just don't know how to make them work "correctly") with the surrounding society I just so happened to be born in and need to learn ways to route around them like two pieces of electronics that have no way to connect on their own so need an "adapter" of some sort?

In engineering, one of the key methods of solving an issue is asking the right questions in the first place. As you saw in that list, I don't even know what specifically to fucking say! No wonder I can't get help, how is anyone supposed to help you when the only thing you can really say is "I feel my existence is badwrong" and other things 'everyone else' experiences?!

Trying to figure me out drives me up a fucking wall!

I hope some of you have experience trying to get specialized help. I'm not here to ask about disabilitybux or autismbux, what I want to know is how and where I can go to get professional help, from those who know well about autism/asperger's etc. as that's the closest anyone's come up with for what's wrong with my head. If I can get thoroughly tested (beyond pills for depression and those useless, insulting questionnaires) and find out "hey you're not actually a sperg!" that would be swell, too, because then I and my doctors can try something else so I can finally get real fucking treatment for once in my three wasted decades of existence so I can finally begin my goddamn life as a functional human being who has a place in this weird wide world aside from watching pirated cartoons in my bedroom.

Hopefully at least one of you are in the know, or know which direction to point me. I don't know where the fuck else to ask – if one or more of you do, please say so I can copy-paste spam.

Summary: re-read thread subject.


 No.28786

Okay… im not trying to sound uhm, egocentric or selfish, but i cant really see a way to build trust in me so… ill start with this:

Im studying psychology, im about to finish, and the best way to describe myself is like that one nerd guy who actually cares about the classes and does the reading and shit. And i understand that finding a good therapist is really complicated, im studying in mexico, and basically as in everyother career, like 3 out of a group of 40 psych students are actually good, i consider myself one of those 3. So yeah, thats the best way i can think of right now to introduce myself and build some sort of trust.

Now, from what you're saying, you've been through some shit therapists, for example, that note you had to introduce yourself is actually very helpful at the beginning of an interview, specially if you're a patient that doesn't talk much, if you're a good psychologist you'd get a handful of info from it. However, you'd eventually need to talk to continue to the therapy. To answer your question about getting a good therapist… honestly the best way to find a good one is getting into the career and learning what makes a good therapist good, cause you're probably full of the stereotypes and shit… im not just gonna leave you like that, i'll try to explain how a good therapy should work out:

First, you're supposed to get an interview, the objective of the interview is to get general information about the patient and the issue.

After that, i believe another interview would be needed to make a "functional analysis" which basically is determining what happens before, during, and after the problem(s). Then the psych should make an hypothesis of whatever you're dealing with and measure it to see if its accurate, and to measure it they should apply psychometric tests, if they apply projective tests (make you draw shit and explain your behavior out of the drawing) GTFO from that therapy, thats an obsolete method of doing. Something really important to do, is try to find a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (a psychology therapy obviously), thats the good one, ask them if they know that therapy, if they dont, run, because thats the most backed by scientific evidence therapy. Anyway, what should happen after the measuring is that the psych, gives you some sort of homeworks, like write some shit and return it, DO IT, it is essential that you work with the therapy, otherwise it'll be useless. After a few time and homeworks, you should be getting a few results, (depending on what you have) like being more self aware, more social skills, less anxiety in social situations, less shitty feelings like "people keep ignoring and talking over me", etc. And thats kind of how a therapy should be done, i hope it helps you identify a good psych, or do different things that help you with one.

Pro-tip:

Some of the issues you mentioned sound to me like something called "Irrational ideas". My recommendation is go search for something called "Rational Emotional Therapy", it's not too hard to apply on yourself, but its still no better than going to a therapist, in fact, the cognitive behavioral therapist should use that kind of method on you.

Welp, thats all i can do to help for now… GL.


 No.28788

-have health insurance

-go to ER at local

-explain problems

note: depending on bureaucracy and if hospital stuff are incompetent results may vary and/or be unreliable

-if mentally ill you will receive a diagnoses

-if paranoid you will be sent on your way


 No.28978

Actually helpful advice! Donkey shoes!


 No.28994

I as an autistic, I know how brutal mainstream society can be but, they have no right to demand that everyone stop doing things that don't fit into there lifestyle (e.g. not making eye contact [https://autloveaccept.wordpress.com/2015/03/25/whats-the-problem-with-whole-body-listening/], watching certain type of TV shows [e.g MLP, anime, and animation in general]). Other people are not hurt when don't ware the same clothes as them or when you writing, drawing, animating, singing, sculpting, etc. nor do those things make you less intelligent. Accept who you are and try to the best of you ability to ignore everyone who doesn't. ABA (fine without desert trials for someone who doesn't speak) and "shock therapy", which is what is given to people with 'real autism diagnosis', won't make you feel better and unless you make a complete 360, which you will not because it's to unnatural, they won't, make you more accepted. And I know your just repeating what others have told you but, no, having a lack of empathy is not a requirement or common aspect of being autistic.

Here are some articles to help you out:

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/ (https://archive.is/http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/*)

http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/what-is-autism/ (https://archive.is/Cv6v2)

http://ollibean.com (https://archive.is/http://ollibean.com/*)

https://autisticadvocacy.org/

https://autismandempathyblog.wordpress.com/

http://www.grasp.org/media/whocares.pdf (https://a.cocaine.ninja/ndntzg.pdf)


 No.29004

>>28994

>…they have no right…

Exactly.

It is "might makes right" and nothing more.

Also a happy backatcha!

http://amazon.com/Kingdom-For-Introvert-John-Peregrine-ebook/dp/B00B6IEHF4

https://introvertchronicle.wordpress.com




[Return][Go to top][Catalog][Post a Reply]
Delete Post [ ]
[]
[ home / board list / faq / random / create / bans / search / manage / irc ] [ ]