When I was sixteen, I got catfished. I was a bit of a social outcast, not a complete pariah, but still not part of the group, because I was always a bit of a bookie (though I hated, and still do, talking about vidya, books, etc)
Online, I made friends with broad varieties of autists and freaks, and freely spoke about everything - and in playing wow, got close to a 'female'.
I was young and impulsive, and she really liked me and I liked her back - I knew she was a she, because I had skyped with her (without webcam though) - and eventually, I sat up one night, said to myself that I would regret this but it's so fun, and was in love
Cue 1,5 years of a twisted rollercoaster of a "relationship" where all I saw of the woman whom I worshipped like a fucking idol was pictures and text, and who treated me like little more than a vent. I didn't need to force my half-autistic self into parties with people I didn't like but could nevertheless learn from (socially) and be superficial friends with. I didn't get laid in a country of sluts and teens, because I fucking loved that woman. Every night I'd sit in front of a screen and write cringeworthy stories, play vidya, and generally socialise with a faceless skype-name.
One day, after not talking to me for a week (which turned me into a nervous wreck), she said that it couldn't work out, and I fucking bawled like a babby for days. I didn't talk to anyone other htna necessity for a month.
After said month, a "friend" from a guild in WoW told me that his girlfriend had ghosted him while he was at work (after a 3-year relationship), and he told me - in case she'd cheated with anyone, or generally decieved because she was a chronic liar, which he'd always known but saw past - her skype name, which happened to be the same name I had pretty much chanted in a trance for 1,5 years.
I know that those formative years being blindly obsessed with someone else's girlfriend has made me slightly spergy. I'm by no means socially inept - I have quite a solid base of friends, and I go out regularly, like a good normie. But I can't chat up to girls at all - I simply don't get what to do - without drinking spirits = I only get laid once or twice a year when I'm drunk as fuck and in a nest of vice and debauchery.
I guess this is more of an outpour than a confession of regret - though I generally view this is as my own idiotic fault. Why the fuck did I never ever think about the stupid reasons for having to leave suddenly, only wanting to skype in the mornings and during the day, having a broken webcam for 2 years, refusing to give address to shower with gifts, never want to talk about meeting, always acting neutral in group chats (its our little secret), have convuluted excuses for fucking everything, and the list goes on.
I deal with it pretty good - the whole madness ended 3 years ago, and I can sleep pretty good at night. But I still sometimes sit up and cringe and whinge at myself for fucking myself up for life like that, and I've never told the truth about this relationship to even my closest friends - always making it seem like it was a real, physical relationship. I get the feeling they know I'm lying, and I hate myself for it, but I could never dream of admitting jacking off to stills of a woman that doesn't know me in front of a screen for years. The only person I've spoken to is the person who was living with her - and we're very close friends now, because of it. And I think he's the only one who'd ever understand what it's like to live in an illusion and never spot the warning signs for years.
I know that this issue is extremely petty, especially compared to the others here - and by all means, it's just me drooling at a screen for years. But it's nevertheless a huge fuckup that's impacted my life.