/legion/ - Outer Legion

>>713503

You're listening to this human, aren't you Rosie? The balls of the guy. First few minutes here and he gets on Lucy's bad side, now he's trying to gun his own ego at me.

It's hilarious.

>>713498

Hey, somebody's gotta make sure you don't wind up in a grave.

>>713494

>Looks over at you

>Rolls her eyes

>Drama queen..

>>713495

Well she's here and awake.. knock yourself out~

>>713496

It's beyond my control daddy, if it falls then there is absolutely nothing I could do to prevent it. I can only send some others with me..

>Scoffs

but honestly, do I even want to bring others to another time with me? They could only be so lucky..

Of you don't deem this universe necessary, then you will do as you please. I have no qualms with seeing it fall into turmoil, I just want to be there when it does. Humans will be begging for me to end there lives so they don't experience such tragedy like the cowards they are.

>>713495

Back when she first discovered humans~ How nostalgic~

>>713498

Don't worry, kitten, I've seen worse~

>>713494

So this is the girl everyone has been searching for-

>>713496

Hah! As if being a god is important. Nothing but a title powerful beings make when their ego cannot even contain itself in its own reality.

I have beaten your kind before. I do not wish to do the same again, its tiresome. Takes too long nothing achieved for the both of us.

I have deeds that need doing and after that I wont even care who captures me. But I will not allow anyone to stop me from doing said deeds.

THAT is all I ask.

>>713504

i never expected to make friends here in the first place

>>713507

"Daddy." I like that one. It's out of my hands, really. Azazoth's the one thing even I can't stop. My own creator.

>>713510

Boy you really just don't get it pal. Don't worry, your new friend Nyarlathotep will fill you in: this is my world. If I wanted to end your measly existence, I could do it without lifting a finger.

If your "gods" and "angels" were something a mere ant could fight, then your entire universe is filled to the brim with weaklings.

That's not the case here. So show some respect before I toss you down the Fly of Despair.

>>713504

I have been. Human narsicism will never cease to astound me. As though they need to feel superior to something at all times.

>>713510

>can you feel the utter disappointment and dying faith

>it's flying off in droves

...you certainly have made an audience for yourself.

>>713510

>>713504

He talks too much daddy, should I, or do you want to see him suffer a little while longer? I could use a snack, and this guy here, is ful of delicious sin~

>Smiles at Baron

Ara araz~

>>713511

Oh, so this place is fucked. Well, I suppose Christmas is coming early. I wonder who they will pray to during the end of times~

>Maniacally giggling

>>713507

Yeah, yeah, I get the idea.

>>713508

So she only got into trouble after we were thrown into the equation. Sounds about right.

>Do you even qualify as a human anymore? I mean, you're half-dead, you're part werewolf, I'm inside your head...

>Not the point.

>You had a point?

>>713501

It was...

>scratching his head

I think it was around four days ago. Outskirts of the city.

>>713505

>My arm is gonna kill me anyways ha ha

>:')

Thanks, man. So...

>whisper

Your more experienced with the whole "girlfriend" deal. What do I do?

>>713508

I'm not sure if this makes me feel any better...

>>713498

Well at least there's something to be gained out of this situation~

>purrs

>>713500

Janna?!

>>713510

Uh, hi you.

>>713512

As much as I find humans amusing, there's only so much of their egotistical preaching I'm going to take.

>>713513

You can play with him if you want. Growing girls need their snacks, after all. Not like I have much else to say to a human blinded by their own pride and with nothing but bravado on the lips.

>>713514

You humans caused the corruption of my poor sister~

>>713515

She used to kill them, you know~

>>713516

>squeezes the tail tight

I thought you were gone..

>>713517

Dad, I do need a favor.. before you leave.. I may have gotten myself into a little bit of a predicament lastnight.. you're not going to like this.. oops.

>>713515

>FFFFFFFFFFFFUCK

It won't hurt to do a scan of Ikaruga.

>>713511

Then earn your respect and I will GLADLY do the same. What, the devil tries to claim the moral high ground because I piss off one person!

People do that stupid tripe every day, everywhere. You think I should give you respect because you can kill me? As you said I am human. surely anyone here could if they had the intelligence and long term planning to.

If I am so insignificant Killing me is a waste of your time. I will end up in hell anyway so why even bother?

For your sake and my own I'l shut up, but the very fact you bother to talk means Im worth something, and il keep that worth to hell.

Enjoy the night Lucifer.

>>713519

Why does everyone think that whenever I step out?

>>713520

>shoots a glare

>>713515

>we whisperin'?

>we whisperin'

Just try and calm her down. Shouldn't be too hard.

>>713518

>chuckles

As if I don't get blamed for enough stuff as it is.

>>713522

I'm not Lucifer you moron. I already told you: I'm Nyarlathotep.

Also, there's no escaping your punishment. Into the Fly of Despair you go.

>flick

>see the second .gif

>>713520

Go on.

>>713517

Such is the burden of not being able to comprehend a higher plane of existence but also consciously knowing that you cannot. Envy breeds contempt...

>pause

The time turning child is yours?

>>713523

>wipes tears

th-they were saying something was wrong with you

and the last time I saw you clock-lady was messing with you

and then clock bitch wouldn't say anything...

>...

...I kinda lost it

>>713523

>Shaking her head

>Mouths the words: Not here.

>>713525

Lastnight, I sort of, had a portion of my powers sealed away..

>>713526

Everyone's my kid in one way or another, Rosie.

Even you. I created the universe as part of Azazoth's will after all.

...Huh. That makes you my very first creation.

>>713528

That sounds like a "you" problem. It also sounds like you're asking me to unseal them.

So what's in it for me?

>>713524

The first time she encountered humans was on an island far away from here~

That poor village~

>>713518

>ragna's face when

Huh. Huh.

>>713521

It can't be that hard. I mean, the guy's a beast. Must have let some sort of trail behind.

>>713524

>nod nod

Gotcha!

>>713516

Sorry, I haven't been around lately. I needed to take care of some personal stuff.

>I found nothing about Saya and Noel and got my ass handed to myself

>Yep

>Totally took care of things

>>713529

In this case, an abortion was probably in order.

>>713529

>Deep breath

>Let's out a sigh

I would very much like it if you unsealed them.. what would you like me to do?

>>713529

You know what I meant.

>...

I never thought about it that way, but...yes. I suppose I am your very first creation.

>>713532

I think you might be the aborted one in this case, my friend.

>>713532

Oh you're telling me. But there's no saying "no" to the old man's wailing.

>flaaaashbaaaack

>NYAAAAARLYYYYYY, MAKE MORE LOUD TRUMPET ASSHOLES

>AND SOME TINY FLESHY PARASITES

>OH OH OH AND MAKE ONE OF THEIR GENDERS CARRY LIVE PARASITES TO EJECT IN A LOUD AND AGONIZING MANNER

>Dad, what the fuck?

>DON'T SASS ME NYARLY

>I ACCIDENTALLY MADE YOU, I CAN ACCIDENTALLY UNMAKE YOU

>Y'KNOW, IF I KNEW WHAT YOU WERE, OR WHERE YOU WERE, OR ANYTHING REALLY

Sheesh.

>>713533

Oh, you know. Stuff, and things.

>grins

I just want you to do one teensy weensy little thing, no questions asked, at an undisclosed time of my choosing.

>>713534

Well, that makes you my oldest daughter. How about that?

>>713534

A-thank you.

>that's a compliment where he comes from

>>713535

Jeez, sounds worse than a few of my older associates.

>>713530

>blink

>blink

This got dark pretty fast.

>insert sounds of Khonshu eating popcorn

>>713531

>thumbs up

Good luck.

>>713527

Doofus.

>flicks her on the nose

I appreciate the thought, though.

>>713531

Don't tell me everyone made a big fuss about me?

>>713535

>Oh good for me.. good for me..

Fine, I'll do as your will commands.. but I am also aware it's not just a teensy weensy thing. You're scheming something, my intuition is telling me I'm not going to like it. Fine, you have my word as a lady~

>>713536

Such was life under the Blind Idiot God, Azazoth. It was pretty shitty. But then he took an eternity-long nap. So I'm pretty much free to do whatever the hell I want.

Dicking with people is hilarious, especially when they get mad and try to fight me like they have an iota of a chance.

Dicking people's pretty good too. Ladies love the tentacle game.

>>713539

Your word is your soul. Break it and I'll break you. Understood?

>>713538

>sighs and sits next to you

that brought up a lot of memories I try and avoid.

I need a drink.

>>713531

You're not gonna like how I plan to use you to stop him.

That Azure of yours is gonna be put to the test. Try not to go all Black Beast on us, huh?

>>713531

Nyahaha~

You should see the look on your face~

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine. Don't hurt her too badly~

>>713537

Oh, she never meant to harm them~

She was trying to defend it from an invading army. She fended off the invaders and singlehandedly protected the village, but that only made the enemy more determined to crush those poor villagers~

>>713540

I understand. They're looked away in Kitsune, I'd you could, unseal them from her, I'll go about my business and await your summons.

>>713540

Ohohoho I know!

I know alright.

>>713525

>what felt like at least 10000 years to him but only 10 minutes to you, he manages to claw his way out.

>he lies on his back bleeding heavily with most of his tech destroyed.

You know... after all that time I have to ask. Nyarlathotep.

You DO realize that "punishment" of yours never solves anything?

>he throws to you the last remaining technology he had.

The negation bands

I designed it as a method to keep myself safe from such divine wrath, had to steal a few materia from my worlds devil to make it. A useless trinket to you probably but its the thought that counts and ive had long enough to think it through.

Consider it an eternal ceasefire. My ego couldent handle the concept of a surrender so thats as close enough as we'l ever get.

Now remind me what petty squabble were we arguing about again?

>>713543

>

I see where this is going...

>>713544

Oh my me.

Oh. My me.

You didn't.

You did! You fucked the fox! Ahahaha, no wonder you lost your powers.

Man I am an asshole when it came to making you. Can't do the nasty without getting all locked up.

I was probably bored.

>>713545

Damn right you know.

>>713546

It wasn't supposed to solve anything. That was just a spot of fun on my part.

Whatever petty mortal squabble was irrelevant.

You offering me a deal?

>snaps his fingers

>the "negation bands" have now ceased to exist

You forget. This is my world. Whatever idiotic technology works on your gods is just pissing in the wind to me.

So I'll offer you a counter-deal. Learn your place in this new universe or get the hell out.

You're not nearly a big enough contender to act like you own the place just yet.

>>713535

>I have a father

>this is conflicting for various reasons

Well, I hope I've at least earned a bit of pride from my maker.

>>713536

>DAD SHUMA'S MAKING ABORTION JOKES AGAIN

No trouble at all.

>disappears in a star shaped flash

>>713538

Well... Not a big fuss. Flash and Marc said you were upset about something and wanted to see what it was about. What was it about, by the way?

>>713542

>Oh good

Something keeps telling me to not use the Azure against him... But I'll trust you this once. What do I gotta do?

>>713543

Right, right...

>

I'll take care of her.

>>713537

>thumbs up returned

>>713541

I just get back and I'm being ordered around already? Gosh.

>>713548

Japan really is a wonderful place, y'know.

Too bad the foreigners that come here aren't the same.

>>713549

See you another day.

>>713550

It'll unlock his limiters and he'll pound you to blood-jelly.

>

We're gonna toss him into the Boundary, Hakumen style. You're gonna be bait.

>>713548

>Image related

>Face palm

I would rather not disclose the information of such actions at this moment.. the only other way for me to unseal them requires me to lose my temper and we all know how that goes. I would like to keep myself from making a big mess, I've rather enjoyed being a recluse lately.

>>713547

In the end, she was only one fox~

>>713550

You look at me as if I'm the one you need to worry about~

>>713551

>gets up

>floating about an inch off the ground, her magic is coming back

I didn't say you needed to get it

>floating toward liquor cabinet

Do you want anything?

>shouts over to clockbitch

>>713554

Hey clockbitch, you want a drink?

>>713554

Y'know what? Just because you made me laugh, I'll do it.

'mere. Stand before me, girl.

>>713549

Aw. She's upset. I'm almost filled with fatherly pride.

>>713552

Seriously, most of the Japanese who come here are pains in the ass.

>>713550

Just had a rough morning and a rougher night before. Have you seen Lancer by the way? I need to apologise for burning his flowers.

>>713556

I think I'll pass.

>noticing the lack of energy

Hey, come here.

>>713550

>the power of friendship!

>>713555

That's a hell of a story.

>deep breath

Anything else you feel like talking about?

>>713548

I never said I own the place. I just will not stand people who think theyre gods without earning it.

You shown me that, and I will respect you for it.

If you met a god that was somehow more powerful then you would you kiss their boots? I wouldent, least not before they actually give themself worth.

Now GoodNight to you Lu- Is there an easier name then Nyarlathotep?

>>713556

>Snaps her neck around

>Irritated Kurumi is Irritated

Janna, what was that you just called me? Hold on, I'll be back.

>>713557

Thank you daddy~

>Prances towards you

>>713557

It's a shame, but I guess it can't be helped.

I mean it could, but sometimes those pains in the ass are fun...to laugh at.

>>713558

>sighs

>forgets about the booze

>for now

>floats back over

Yes?

>>713561

I'm trying to make amends!

I'll ask again in a minute.

>>713559

It's been awhile since I've talked at all. Dinosaurs hardly make for good company~

>>713560

See, that's your human brashness and "willpower" going off. It's nice, until it gets you erased from every instance of existence.

I know how to pay respect to those above me. That said, there's only one above me: the one who created me. And that one's in permanent stasis.

...Well. Was. Now because he's waking up, everything is going to end.

>>713561

>patpat

Grit your teeth. This is gonna get kinky.

>spoopy face-tentacles

>>713562

You. I like you.

>>713564

So you've been in the Savage Land this whole time? No wonder nobody's heard from you.

>>713563

Tonight isnt a good time for that.. you've caused me enough time for your little hissy fit. I told you she was fine, and there she is, standing before you breathing and alive..

>.. and with half my powers.. ugh.

>>713565

Oh god, I know how this ends. I've seen this Japanese scene before..

>Slight Gasp.

>>713565

Well you gotta look at the positives, or else how can you force the negatives on others?

>>713563

>takes Janna by the face

>locks lips with her

>[mana transfer]

>releases her

Feeling better?

>>713565

You see the point though. there is no difference in dying now and dying then.

The only reason Im choosing later is because there are people back in my world who I need to kill. That and there *May* be something else in this accursed existance I Might find worth to live for

>>713553

Welp. Shoulda seen this coming.

>>713555

Trust me, it's not you I'm worried about.

>>713558

>Shrugs

I haven't seen him. Arrived here some time ago. I'm sure he'll pop up eventually, don't worry.

>>713559

>Social Link

>Gooooo!

>>713567

>Crawling Chaos form go

Try to relax your orifices. It'll make it go a lot smoother. Or don't. The struggle's the best part.

>>713568

I really like you.

>>713570

Has the Fly of Despair taught you nothing?

There is nothing to live for, the only thing keeping you monkeys alive is a primal, instinctual desire to live.

>>713572

>the struggle's the best part

I think I like you too.

>>713569

>deep red

m-much

>...

I'm gonna go get a drink now!

>floating to the liquor cabinet, a little higher than normal

>>713567

And I will admit that I was wrong.

I'll get some wine for you, come and get it when you are done with your

>waves at the tentacles

Friend.

>>713571

It's the quickest way. You're not objecting, are you?

>>713572

>Why this

Let's just get this ove..

>And she being taken advantage of from these tentacles

>She's squirming an awful lot there

>>713574

>Kurumi can't talk right now she's having a moment.

>>713566

Where else would I be~

The sport is good and there's just enough humans to entertain me~

>>713571

When should I expect a niece or nephew~?

>>713572

I very well knew that long before the despair.Honestly it HAS taught me nothing.

That is why I shall keep searching until ethier that instinct dies out or I find something that at least does the illusion well.

>>713571

>RANKU AHP

>>713577

>smiles

Well, good to know you've been having fun. I was starting to worry that you forgot about me.

>>713571

Alright, I guess I'll wait for him then.

>relaxes

You seem like you enjoy holding me like this.

>>713574

I wouldn't be against something though!

>>713573

We're gonna get along juuuuuust fine.

>>713576

>it was horrifying for all to see

>one mindfuck later

There ya go, kiddo.

>>713578

That's nice. I don't really give a fuck anymore.

>>713581

>except for Shuma

>in which it was arousing for him to see

Oh man, I haven't seem something like that since I held a party at my place.

I should throw another one...

>>713581

>He starts laughing

Good! Because Neither do I!

Now seriously where the hell does one get a drink around here?

>>713581

>What a nightmare that was.

>Trying to catch her breath

What of the..

>Pant

.. Kitsune, she no longer..

>Pant

.. has my abilities correct?

>>713580

>floats back with a couple of beers and a bottle of wine, with glasses

>sits near you

>pops open a beer

Take something.

>>713579

Just because I'm old doesn't mean I'm forgetful~

>hmm

Perhaps I should spend the night here. It's been awhile, after all.

>>713583

Still talking? This look like a bar to you, slick?

>>713582

If you start it, I'll bring the bitches. Hell, I'll create bitches just for it!

>>713584

What? Oh. Right. That. I just replicated your powers. Not like the fox can do anything with'em yet.

>>713585

Holy moly how much do you plan on drinking?

>pours out a glass of wine

>>713583

>holds up her wine glass

>>713587

Oh now you're talking!

>>713575

Not at all. It's just like you said. We can't let that monster roam free. If this is the best way, then I'll do it.

>>713577

>What

>What

W-Wait, h-hold on, what?

>>713579

>MOONMAN DISTRACT YOUR WIFE, DISTRACT YOUR WIFE

>>713580

Do I? Well, I certainly don't mind it. Guess I just got used to it.

>Are we still under the

>there's the mistletoe

>huh

>>713586

No complaints here. I've probably been hanging around here a lot more than I should.

>>713590

>working on it

>>713588

>gulpgulp

Enough to forget again

>>713576

>the wine is waiting until you're free

>>713587

>Sneer

>That happened. That just happened.

>She has a difficult time drawing out the words but she finally says them

Very well, thank you father. I will take my leave now. I suppose I'll be hearing from you..

>>713580

>A voice speaking into your ear, grazing your lips says:

Me and you, we need to talk.

>Glares

>>713585

>Glare

>The air begins to shake and so does the ground as she fades into the shadows

>>713589

>suit: get

Call it an "end of the world" party.

>>713593

>sending a telepathic message

This is why you don't mock your father to others~.

>wow Nyarly you're a fucking asshole

>>713590

Are you not serious about her~?

>>713591

Hardly any new faces, I'll admit~

>>713587

Hey, you never designed that despair pit with one and I dont care if its a bar or a dam slum, I was just asking politely-

>he notices some others

never mind. question answered good night and pleasent dreams to you Nyar. Or nightmares in case you get off to that I dont blame you if you do-

>>713588

Thank The relative deities that are here, someone here can answer questions without sending me to hell.

You got any vodka? Il pay for it if needs be.

>>713594

The world's ending again? Well hotdog that's why I held the last one!

>>713597

So we'll just have to top the last one.

>Slipspace Rupture

>Voip

>Out comes Prinz!

>>713590

>swinging her legs

Is this why you became a hero? To hold damsels in distress?

>>713592

Jeez, was it that bad?

>>713593

>?

Um... I'll be waiting.

>>713596

You picked a fight with the top brass.

>points at the liquor cabinet

You're free to help yourself but just pray you don't take someone's good stuff.

>>713595

Don't feel like you've missed too much. Most of the new people that have shown up aren't very entertaining.

>>713599

>u fockin wot m8

>>713598

It won't be easy, but it'll be fun!

>>713599

One of these days you're going to destroy the fabric of space and time doing that.

Then again the world is ending anyways.

>>713602

More than fun. It'll be a blast.

>>713593

>waves as she fades

>>713599

Hey you, you like booze, right?

>holds up a beer

>>713600

>responds by chugging the rest of her drink and picking up another

I was having flashbacks of the first orphanage

>>713601

Sounds like I've been having more fun than you~

>>713601

>I focking did

H-Hallo.

>>713603

World is ending!? How!? Why!?

>It was suppose to be a good day for Prinz, you done fucked it all up.

>>713605

>Someone douche just dropped a bomb on Prinz

World ending..

>Sad Prinz is sad

>Takes a bottle of 151

>>713604

Are we going to party so hard we destroy the universe?

>>713607

It's a joke.

I swear, black humor is getting more and more difficult with the young people.

>puff

>>713608

That's the plan.

>>713600

we can hardly call that a fight.

I mean I didn't even hit him~. Though on a more serious matter, I dont bother praying, and I've pissed off enough people here as it is.

>he searches the cabinet until he finds something

Lithuanian Vodka? You should have told me you had this, well if it does belong to someone I'll tell them personally they have good taste.

>>713603

>>713604

Please tell me it is happening on Christmas day, I cannot wait to see the look on the pope's face when he sees the humour of it.

It better be flashy and grandiose. No point in ending the world with a whimper.

>>713610

I love it.

>>713611

What's the difference? Not like anyone'll notice. In an instant it'll all be gone.

>>713612

Goddamn right you do.

>>713607

>pulls Prinz into the circle of booze

>current members: Janna, Ahri

There has already been too much sadness today!

>slaps her on the back

Drink until you're happy again!

>>713606

You're probably right. I'm not exactly fun at parties.

>>713607

Yeah, hi. There a reason you just fell out of a wormhole?

>>713613

Well I think I better get planning, then.

This'll be one hell of a party.

>vanishes

>>713609

>!

That not very nice!

>Relaxed breath

Well better now that I know Earth is okay.

>>713614

>Ouch

Why sadness today?

>Looks at Ahri

Oh, woken up from a night like that I have plenty times.

>Wow

>Whispers

She smells like sex.

>>713615

How say, ah.. upgrades

>Nod nod

>>713613

It just feels like it would be better. I guess I've always had an affinity killing my enemies via large explosions. That and knives, don't get me started on how much I love knives. They called me Blade for a reason. I wont ever shut up about them.

I've always said, if you're going to kill, overkill it. Make them KNOW they're going to die.

>>713617

There was a liiiittle misunderstanding and things happened

>chugging the beer in her hand

>whispers back

I bet if we get her drunk enough we can get more out of her~

>>713611

We have that? It exists?

>>713605

You holding up okay?

>>713615

Or at all.

>[Nyahahas externally]

>>713617

>ha

>"okay"

>Boss you should tell her the truth

>...nah

>Kawaii Grandpa mode activated

It's about to get better once I've finished my plans.

>>713591

>DO IIIIIIT

>>713595

I am serious about her! But isn't it a bit too soon to be discussing about this?

>>713600

>hero

>...

>Just this once

Not a bad reason, to become one.

>>713618

Waste of effort. And there's no kill more "over" than "universal omnicide".

>>713620

Well really it's just vodka that was made in the country, no real difference between it and your standard Russian. But to me it has sentimental value. Knowing that someone here had a bottle from my own country, just makes me feel slightly less irritated.

You CAN out-drink an ex-soviet right?

>>713617

Doesn't exactly answer my question, but okay. So who're you?

>>713621

Hasn't stopped you from sticking around for so long.

>hug

>>713623

>DOIN' IT

>>713624

Well you seem so certain it will happen. Why not flaunt it. scare the universe, give them a sense of hope out of pure whimsy, only to crush it.

You ARE having a party to celebrate it so clearly there is a being with a strong sense of pride hiding under that godhood.

>>713619

>Coke and rum get

What happened? Everyone so somber. Came here for Bismarck. Not seen her around you have?

>>713620

>Pours you a shot

This will help everything, and make feels better about anything.

>>713622

Plans? Nevermind, you not like me. You kicked me out and fired bullets to me.

>>713620

>smiling now

>the bottles are starting to pile up

Suuuuuure!~

I even captured us a friend!

>slaps Prinz on the back again

>>713628

>giggling

Noooothing, everything's fiiine!

You don't need no bismark, you've got us here!

>>713625

>a sudden gust of wind pushes you into the booze circle

>current residents: Janna, Ahri, Prinz

Hey there, buddy!

>>713628

I did, didn't I.

You happened to catch me on probably the worst day for an illegal surprise visit.

>cigar get

>pops his artificial thumb off to light it

That won't be happening again. You realize a militarized micronation isn't a tourist attraction, yes?

Next time clear it with me first.

>>713623

I'm just making sure my sweet sister hasn't fallen for some two bit fool~

>>713626

Some things never change~

>purring

Perhaps you should visit the grounds more often~

>>713629

You are SO lucky I do not have my gadgets with me. You might even be able to beat me now in a drinking contest. "Might" being the word.

>>713627

Pride is Lucifer's thing. Being an asshole is mine.

I get to have fun too, you know. Not like this universe dying means a damn to me.

>>713629

>Oh shit

>Nervous Prinz is nervous

Don't don't don't say things! She hears everything!

>>713626

Oh hallo,

I am Admiral Prinz Eugen of the Office Of Naval Intelligence.

>Salutes

Fine, understand I do. Where everyone at? On mission for you right now because of big plans? Heard new transfer coming soon. Air Craft Carrier, went to school with her I did.

>>713634

>>713632

Hah, of course I can!

>down the hatch goes another

I bet you can't even catch me now!

>>713634

Ahri

Look how cute she is!

>pinches her cheek

>>713635

>more giggling

You're afraid that she hears that you are safe without her?

We haven't even done anything to you yet~

>>713635

Graf Zeppelin is coming in, yes. Bismarck let me know.

>>713633

exactly. this is your big shot and fucking off every person in the universe.

Play it up like this big doomsday event, nothing happens, and then constantly torment them about the fact you can eradicate lie in a nanosecond.

Get them to sacrifice their kids, rape their dogs o whatever the hell you feel like enacting. Give them that sense of hope....

THEN destroy the universe.

Mission achieved - the worst asshole who ever existed.

>>713634

>>713636

>>713637

You assume that as if I havent met non humans before.

>he downs his vodka at an uncanny rate.

Right what else you have, youre dealing with an ex-soviet who hasnt had a drink in 10000 years~

>>713631

>chuckles

That almost sounds like an invitation.

>>713635

Nice to meet you. I'm Moon Knight, though I doubt you've heard of me.

>Are you trying to stay humble or sound like a jackass?

>>713637

That's not a valid reason!

>>713640

>keeping pace with her wine

Maybe I need something stronger.

>>713634

Eheehe, you look like had fun night.

>>713637

Nein nein, worried that she hears you say that. Not understand you, Bismarck is very, ah how say, temperamental.

>Serious nodding

>>713639

Ja! She ahold already be here by now.

>Sigh

Haven't seen her for many years now.

>>713641

Knight? Ah never met a knight before I haven't! Didn't know I that chivalry existed still.

>>713640

This isn't my first rodeo. It's not as funny the third time.

I think I'll just ride out the last moments of mankind with Shuma and a horde of bitches.

>>713626

>Goodjob, Moonman

>Now it'my turn

>>713631

Heh, sadly a fool. But I'll try to be a good one.

>>713634

>>713636

>grinning back

And here was I hoping I could catch you by surprise this time.

>welp, here goes nothing

>Steals a kiss

>>713640

>hasn't had a drink in 10000 years

What have you been doing?

>gulp

>>713642

It's fiiiine, she wants the booze!

>pats her head

>>713643

It's fiiiiine

>talking as she's chugging another drink

If she hears, I'll just throw booze at her too!

>>713641

You would enjoy hunting the poachers~

>>713645

Just do better than this one and you'll be fine~

>gestures at Moon Knight

>>713647

>he points to Nyar, Goddam I am never going to get that name right

Inspecting the property values of the despair pit.

>>713648

forgot pic

>>713643

Most people would tell you it died a long time ago. Doesn't mean they're right.

>>713645

>ya done good, Ragna

>ya done good

>>713649

You say that like it'd be the main reason I'd tag along.

>>713643

I'll call Nagato then, to see if she's arrived.

>

>>713648

Now that's edgy.

Nyarlathotep is a bitch to remember, at least he goes by Randall Flagg.

>>713647

Eheeh that is one way to calm Nee-chan.

>Sipping on her drink

>>713649

Oh, you are cat?

>>713651

I'm glad it has not, men these age are one track minded.

>Sigh

Moon Knight, is that name you want me to call you or have a more formal name?

>>713652

Ah how Nagato is? And uh, how is Tenryuu?

>>713645

I can make them grow you know~

>tails wagging as they kiss

Don't tell Janna but you're way better.

>>713647

Why do so many people appear when we start drinking?

>>713648

Do you believe in ghosts and the supernatural?

>>713651

Lost interest in the hunt already~? How boring...

>>713654

Nya~?

>>713654

I married Nagato recently. Tenryuu has been reunited with Tatsuta. Things are running smoothly now.

>>713650

For that many years?!

>>713654

and we have plenty here!

>the wind is carrying more bottles over

>>713655

Because we're the best!!!

>wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close as she takes a big swig

>>713653

I have a horrible scar on my face and go by the name of Blade, Edgyness does not concern me.

Thanks, Randall it is for him

>>713655

Yes, I've seen and fought a woman who could control them. Too much eldritch and tentacles to count. Remind me to drag H.P. Lovecraft to one of them so he knows what madness he's created first hand.

>>713658

Yes as it turns out Randall doesn't pay his taxes on purpose. Don't even get me started on the loopholes for his tv license

>>713656

You are a cat! Wow, never seen one so, ah, how say, human before.

>Red Prinz is Red

Eheeh, and with hardly clothes

>Looking away

>>713657

Really!? Well Congratulations! How wedding was? Tenryuu very catatonic last time saw her I. I'm glad she is better.

>>713658

Oh mien Gott.. that is alot to drink.

>>713658

>Grabs the back of your hair and pulls you down to the ground.

>>713659

Well, at least you're upfront about it.

>>713658

Make sure those hands don't wander.

>swigs out her bottle

>>713659

Well I happen to be one of those. A spirit, that is.

>>713660

She was almost dead when you saw her. Once we repaired and upgraded her, and sent her to retrieve Tatsuta, things finally looked up. Morale's at an all-time high.

>>713659

>Edgyness does not concern me

>This faggot

>;)

>>713654

My real name is Marc.

>shrugs

There's not really a point to me keeping my identity a secret these days.

>>713656

It's not that I've lost interest. It's just not the only thing I'm interested in.

>>713659

I can tell.

Lovecraft was a good boy. Wrote what I told him to.

>>713662

Lucy!

>bip bip bip

Ho ho! A new high score for Iskandar!

>1)GR8

>2)GR8

>and so on and so on

Eh, but I can't help but feel like I'm forgetting something.

>>713659

and you could not find a single bottle of booze?

Sounds like suffering

>>713660

>wraps her other arm around you and pulls you in

>laughing drunkenly

That just means you have to help me finish!

>>713663

>giggles

I can't make any promises

>>713661

>Pulled to the ground with a girl in each arm

Parsee!

good to see you~

>>713660

Something you don't like~?

>>713666

>sighs

What else will it take to entertain you~

>>713651

>I'm dating a spirit

>I wonder what my past self would have to say about that

>>713649

>chuckle

I'll do my best.

>>713655

>cuuuute

Well, that's a victory if anything.

>>713669

This.

>drapes the freshly made Santa mantle over him

Your outfit. For the party the androgynous Lancer invited you to.

>>713663

Good because ash soft as thosh tails are right now I jusht need resht.

>by this point he's drunk 5 beers and another bottle of vodka

>>713665

Oh look ish you!

>>713668

Oh no, I meant all the peoples who are sho deranged enough they want to fuck thoshe things.

>>713669

>beep boop on the other controller

>>713670

I hear that you're playing around with other people.

>>713668

I'm afraid I ever have much 'splainin' to do, unfortunately.

Can we make this quick, it's almost my brother's birthday

>>713670

Well it wash the pit of deshpair. I'd be equally dishappointed if It did.

>>713677

I knew you cared. But I'm already done.

Have fun.

>gone

>>713664

That is good news for me to hear. Glad you are taking care of the Fleet girls well.

>Pours you a drink

Look like a scotch man you do.

>Hands you a scotch

>>713669

>Looking over your shoulder

What playing you?

>>713670

Is that challenge!? I will win for Deutschland!

>>713671

Nein nein, ah how say, ah, ah ah..

>Flustered little Prinz

Very pretty, not dislike at all just not uh, use to uh, seeing cats in lingerie.

>>713666

Marc is more fitting, nice suit! Want a drink? I pour for you.

>>713674

>I'll play her tomorrow for you

>>713670

I'm not gonna just sit around and be molested if that's what you're hoping.

>>713672

Don't get too excited, the best is yet to come.

>>713680

I am indeed a scotch man.

Cheers.

>>713673

Eh?

>whomp

Party...Party...

>lightbulb

HAHAHAHA! It seems I forgot!

But that's all well and good, you might even see something special!

>>713675

Ah-

>[game over]

Taking advantage of a distraction like that! Truly another conqueror in the making!

>>713671

I don't know, having you around again is already pretty entertaining.

>laughs

>>713672

>they'd be extremely surprised

>>713680

>shrugs

Why not? I could use a drink.

>>713679

>

>where's Michael

>I feel like using him

>>713683

And your hat.

>Santa Rider go

>>713675

You... you look familiar.

>>713676

>drunkenly smiling up at you

Come drink with us!

>>713678

This is true!

>>713680

>>713681

>You were both pulled to the floor with her

>Parsee is staring down at the three of you

>more drunken giggles

We might be in a bit of a pickle~

>>713682

>Cheers

Big plans you have soon for your soldiers?

>Nervous

Not that I spy, I just curious!

>>713684

What would like you? We have alot to share.

>>713686

>Shieße

>>713672

Nyahaha~ I look forward to getting to know you more, brother~

>>713680

Take a good look while you can in that case, kitten~

>>713684

Perhaps I should come around more~

>>713688

That would be telling.

>puff

>>713683

You have to focus when going in for the kill.

>>713686

>?

>>713687

Why do you always get me into trouble?

>>713674

That's pretty weak, my friend!

>giggles

I need a census of the booze circle~

>>713686

A hat?

>pushes the brim over his eyes

To have the opportunity to wear something made by a dear friend, what a joyous holiday this is!

>...

What holiday is this, again?

>>713691

Too right, my little opponent!

But you know what's even better than raw ambition?

>complex button input

>cue minions everywhere

When it's shared by friends!

>>713687

Great, I'll just need you to cut open your neck.

>>713687

Nein nein, I not get in between.

>Gets up off the floor and sits straight

On your own you are. I not like being a, how do Americans say, a home.. uh, a home wrecker. Ja ja, I won't be home wrecker.

>>713689

>Sweating

Eheeh, I am not kitten, you're a kitten. Never seen you here before. Who are you?

>>713690

Just wanting to make conversation. Talking about weather is cliche and not original anymore.

>>713688

>Vlad status: not giving the slightest fuck

>or really paying attention to her at all

>>713691

>squint

>scratching his beard

Assassin. You were supposed to be our Assassin, but you never showed up...

>>713694

Christmas, Rider. Christmas.

>observan the game

Surely every day was Christmas to you.

>>713688

I'm not too picky. Surprise me.

>>713689

It's definitely felt... quieter without you around.

>>713696

I know. But it would be strategically disadvantageous to disclose my plans to people not in on it.

>>713694

>!!!

>struggling to dispatch the swarm

>>713697

Reika deserved the Grail.

>>713681

The best? What do you mean?

>>713684

>That they would

>Spirits, man

>They change you

>>713689

>brother

>brother

>JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN

>SAYAAAAAAAAAAAA

>shakes his head

Right, right... It will be...fun.

>>713692

>hand set to wander

>Fondle fondle

It isn't myyyyy fault~

>hic

oops~

>>713695

>the wind pulls you down with them

>throws a drink at you

I said, have something to drink!

>Grin

>>713696

>joking whine

awww, come back!

It's so cozy down here~

>>713702

>Green Serpent forms above your head and opens its mouth as I laid on the floor.

Choose wisely idiotic girl for it may be the last thing you do.

>>713697

Christmas, eh...

>flicking the ball on the hat

If Christmas entails the celebration of each day fully challenged, of good food and drink and sex, of the bonds of friendship tested every day in the name of conquest! Then you are correct!

>slams a fist down on the ground

>boom

>>713700

WAHAHAHAHA! Come now, surely an Assassin must have something else up their sleeve, eh? You'd be hard-pressed to make those fools from that fourth war look good!

>>713696

A stray cat, nothing more~

>>713698

Is that loneliness~?

>>713701

>ooh is that suffering

>perfect

You've met our mother haven't you~?

>>713700

It doesn't matter. Darnic ruined it for everyone, the loathsome bastard.

>>713705

Essentially, yes.

>at least that's how I celebrated it

>when I wasn't IMPALING

>>713702

Oi!

>slaps her hand away

>>713701

Oh you know...

>>713698

>Smiles

>Bartender Prinz go

>Grabs the bitters, Makers 46, and orange peel, a lighter

>Boom Old Fashioned

>Elegantly slides the drink across the table

>Looking at you for a sign of approval

>>713699

>Nodding

Where Bismarck been? Haven't seen her several days.

>>713702

>Shaking her head

Nein nein, I have learned lesson on this many times ago.

>>713704

Hey, no fighting!

>>713706

Stay Cat? Need home!? I always wanted cat. Bismarck never let me had one for myself

>Sigh

>>713705

>bouncing up with the fist's impact

>focus

>FOCUS

>it's no use

>no assassin can beat the king's army

>[GAME OVER]

>...

>>713707

You are... mad to see us?

>>713701

>but change is good

>I think

>>713706

...Yeah, I guess it is.

>>713709

>takes his mask off

>siiip

Not bad. You must have a lot of practice when it comes to making drinks.

>>713709

Don't tell me what to do!!!

>>713708

>lets you go

>softer giggles

Go fuck Prettyboy now~

>yells to >>713701

Hey pretty boy, come have sex with Ahri now!

>chugging another drink

>>713704

>rolls over

>wind pulls you over

>biiiig hug

You know you're the only one for me~

>>713709

>Grins

You need to find a +1 now!

>>713709

No home needed kitten~ I have my lair elsewhere~

>>713711

>swipes his drink

Hmm~

>>713707

>hmmmm

>HMMMMM

>...

Bah! A singular holiday to celebrate how a life should be lived? That smells like it will have the King of Knights all over it.

>grin

But I've given my word. I'll do my level best to leave a decidedly Rider impact on this sorry little day of yours.

>Alexandermas

>yeah

>>713710

>huge hand coming in for the patpat

Anyone else might think that's the face of one who can't accept their losses. But I know you're already thinking ahead at breakneck pace!

>

You are, aren't you?

>>713711

I was bartender during military school for extra currency, I know my way around bar well eheeh.

>Oh handsome.

>>713712

Want to visit space? I'll send you to space.

>Glare

No fighting. Final warning.

>>713713

What is a plus one? Not understand I?

>>713715

Lair? What is lair? Do you like spirits? I'll make you something.

>>713713

>The Green Serpent bites your leg when you hugged me.

You lie through your teeth again, human.

>>713714

>Looks towards where the noise was coming from while still being hugged by Janna.

>>713710

No. I am upset that we did not meet under more favorable circumstances.

>DARNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC

And that in the end, no one got their wish except for a dead madman.

>>713716

If you do it every day, it loses its luster. Reserving it to one day a year allows that day to shine brighter than any other.

>>713716

>

Rematch.

>>713717

Wow send me to a place I've already been to. Yea, let's give a big round of applause for the girl. Actually, that would be a waste of time and effort.

>>713715

You could've asked for that, y'know.

>>713717

Nice. I was in the military a long time ago. Wound up getting discharged pretty early, though.

>>713717

>snicker

>silly german~

Boyfriend! Girlfriend! Fuckbudy of any gender!

Just someone to spend the night with~

>>713718

>gives you a long kiss

The only one that really matters~

>>713717

>>713721

>Don't forget that Janna is now attached to parsee

>>713719

I'll ignore your small way of thinking this time, Lan...Ber...

>uh

you.

If I did not truly believe that each and every day could be better than the last, I would lie down and die right now.

>rubbing his chin

I've got it!

>>713720

As you wish!

But none of that Random Stage selecting stuff, the circles hurt my eyes.

>nudge nudge

>>713723

>Spits on the ground.

Another lie that you said the span of one day.

>>713720

>she's not wearing pants

...

>unlatches his fucking sweet-ass cloak

>and drops it over Jack

You shouldn't run around like that, you'll catch your death of cold.

>knows full well Servants don't get cold

>muh modesty

>>713724

No you wouldn't. You'd find some way to make things go your way. At least, you should.

>folds his arms

What is it.

>>713724

>press every advantage

>Random Stage time

>>713726

This cloak is cold too.

>>713725

>more kisses?

>more kisses.

I only freaked out about Ahri because she is an old friend, silly~

>sits herself up

>holding you in her lap

>head resting ontop of yours

But you're mine

>>713726

It seems I'm an open book after all!

>cheesegrin

I'll bring the greatest Christmas this world has ever seen, one to make them remember it's just a silly day!

>nodnod

When you ask a man to look forward to being happy only one day a year, it creates a dependency on that day. Something I can't abide!

>>713727

Betrayed!

>slaps dizzy-eye glasses on his face

My one weakness has been exploited!

>running into the opposite corner repeatedly

>>713717

I just happen to be one, kitten~

>>713722

This is much easier~ Though not very tasty...

>>713727

That is because I always cold.

>

It will get warmer.

>>713729

I will be watching, Rider. May you be successful.

>>713728

Stop kissing me.

>So she was playing around with that fox.

No I am not since you seem to have plenty of other people. I want no part of your little circle.

>>713722

Really? What branch were you? I just got reassigned several months ago. New branch, it's uh, complicated.

>>713723

>Blushing

Oh, oh. I eheehe, don't know about anyone like that.

>Wraps her anchor around your waist

There, it get a little windy now.

>>713721

>Sigh

I try.

>Slipspace Rupture

>Voip goes Parsee Pants

Time out, enjoy space again. Maybe chill out a bit.

>>713730

You're a spirit? But but I can not drink you.

>She has no clue what you mean

>>713729

>win

>WIN

>WIN

Yaah!

>>713731

Can we come to the party too?

>>713730

>smirk

Didn't take you very long to go back to causing trouble, did it?

>>713733

I was in the Marine Corps for about two years. I was discharged after I, uh... punched a superior officer in the face.

>anger issues

>anger issues everywhere

>>713731

"May I be successful". Haaaa!

>slaps him on the back

I accept your well-wishing, sarcasms and all!

Come now, sit and enjoy the game! Unless you have a coffin to be getting back to, eh?

>>713734

>1%

>TIME FOR COMEBACK

>t u r n a b o u t i s f a i r p l a y

>but it's no use

HAHAHAHAHA! It seems I've been bested!

>

Eh, what's this "can" stuff?

>props her on his shoulder

I'll need someone around to keep an eye out for any pesky Sabers!

>>713732

>Parsee is suddenly gone

hmmm

>>713733

You need to get one!

>anchor around waist

>Parsee goes poof

Now there goes mine!

>>713734

I do not think Enkidu will deny you entry.

>

Yes. You may.

>>713737

Are you offering to tuck me in, Rider?

>half-amused smirk

Entertain the young Assassin. I will observe.

>>713736

I think your tastebuds are rotten.

>hands him back his drink

>>713733

>this kitten

Like a ghost.

>>713733

>Waiting.

>Waiting.

>5 hours later I return with some lunar rabbits and wearing a different costume.

>

I wonder what the German will do next. Maybe you'll go suck another man like the good German slave you are.

>>713737

> F A I R A N D B A L A N C E D

Wah!

>suddenly on a way too high perch

The enemy?

>>713740

Are there any other Assassins?

>>713736

>Wow

>WOW

Wow. I uh, have only had thought about things like that. Felt good though I bet eheeh.

>Makes you another drink

Well, cheers, to punching superiors!

>>713739

Much more peaceful now ja? Eheeh.

>>713741

Ghost! Nein nein nein I dont like, I don't like!

>Knees shaking

>>713742

Ah she return from Holiday!

>>713744

You just said you weren't a homewrecker

>Drunk Janna Status: BETRAYAL

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?!

>>713740

It takes a man confident in his own ways to order another living soul.

But there's no time for that, there's Christmas to learn about!

Now, how does this holiday feel about large men with good food barging into houses unannounced?

>>713743

No, but a stick in the mud all the same!

How to make it work...

>shrugs

Eh, she'll never accept my reasons. And this holiday isn't about her, is it?

So then, little friend! What can Rider get you for Christmas?

>>713743

You are the only Assassin I have met thus far.

>>713746

That is exactly what you are supposed to be doing.

You will be given food in exchange for material gifts left under the trees in the homes of sleeping people.

>>713744

I don't know.

>Bites into the arm of the lunar rabbit.

>Munch munch.

You kind of pissed off the entire lunar capital and started a war.

>Swallows.

I hope you have fun dying to them, but you never know. They may allow you to be a slave to them. It's going to be fun.

>>713741

They could be. Or maybe we just like different things.

>>713744

Bit of a weird thing to celebrate, but I'm not complaining.

>all aboard the booze train

>choo choo

>>713745

That not home wrecking, that keeping the peace.

>Sage nodding

>>713748

>Writing key points down

>Sigh

>More paper work. Foehammer upset he will be, this may cut into her holiday.

At least you not being rude anymore, a little space did you well.

>>713749

Well they are not here, why not? Its good to relax and laugh, and reminisce about past events.

>>713747

>...

>headtilt

Asleep?

Here now, this sounds like I'll be made out into a criminal or something.

>but Alex that's exactly what you are

But I accept anyway, if what you say about the food is true!

>eyebrow waggle

Surely the great impaler has a wish in his heart for this Grail-esque holiday.

>>713746

>hmms out loud

>hands in beard

Presents.

>>713747

The Red one?

>>713750

>uhoh

>Drunk Janna mode: Panic!

Ahhh!

Who are you?!

Why are you here?!

Why am I Here?!

Who am I?!

Where is Parsee?!

AHHHH!!

>>713750

Now where was I five hours ago..... oh yea.

>Draws my attention back to Janna.

>>713751

...

...

...

>Kill Darnic

>Erase "Dracula"

I have two.

>>713752

I do not believe she was summoned. At least, I have not seen or heard of her presence.

>>713744

Yet you speak so easily with my sister~

>>713749

Impossible that my taste buds would be broken.

>>713752

>no beard

Ah-

>wait

>no beard

It seems that Zeus Thunder is lasting less and less, huh...

>brightens

But presents I can do! You might even say they're a specialty of mine!

>>713755

Now now, don't be greedy.

>:3c

I expect the very best in cookies and milk left for these wishes, you understand! WAHAHAHA!

>

Eh, how many of us are there now anyway?

>>713750

I don't normally like to think about the past. It's.., not pleasant.

>>713756

Alright, I get the picture. You're better than me. Happy now?

>>713755

Then Jack is the strongest.

>>713758

>patpat on the smoothskin

>?

>>713753

>Sigh

This why I not drink with foreigners..

>>713754

Be nice space you go again~

>>713756

Sister? Which sister? No, please not scare me like that.

>>713759

Then think about present. Plans for Christmas?

>>713758

They are not things you can grant me. One has already been taken from me and the other is something I must take for myself.

>uh

I would wish for thread, however. I am running low.

>...

Your offering is already underneath the tree. Though, Enkidu has asked you not to touch it until the 25th.

>>713760

By default, naturally.

>>713753

>Hits you lightly on the head.

>>713759

>

>>713761

The fox~

>>713761

My business does not concern you. Now go run back to your fascist land.

>>713760

>brand new scar

>gleam

Oi oi, what's up?

>>713762

Then he should know better than to not have traps set up, if he means to leave it out in the open!

>looks open

>conspicuous bear trap

Ah.

It sounds like you're learning the lesson I wanted to teach before I even started, that's no fair.

>>713763

Found you!

>tacklehugs

>kissu

>sudden zzz

>is asleep ontop of you

>>713750

>See Rawley, I told you this was a mistake, not to mention a massive waste of resources.

>She's got enough agility and firepower to give a CSO-Class Carrier a run for its money, and what do they do with her? Let her traipse around, angering the local factions. I'm voicing my concern to the Admiral in the morning.

>Settle down there, Lieutenant. A little holiday party never hurt anyone, and besides, the moon's xenos aren't space worthy. Cut her some slack, she's...

>Special?

>You could put it that way.

>>713762

Like you are the strongest Berserker.

>she doesn't know about Lancelot

>>713766

You're short now. Like us. What happened?

>>713767

>Pushes you off of me then stands up. I then curb stomps your head then grabbed you by the hair, and pulled you to Ahir's room.

>>713766

>

Carpe diem, Rider. I am no fool.

>>713769

>Lance ain't got shit on Vlad

So I am.

>>713761

Not really. This is the first time I've had anyone to celebrate with in years. It feels weird.

>Remember that time you killed those guys who shot a mall Santa? Good times. Good times.

>>713764

>smiles

I'll take that as a yes.