No.715823
>The Festivities and Shenanigans Continue..
No.715833
HAVE YOU EVER SMELLED THE INSIDE OF YOUR CAT'S ANUS
MERRY HO HO, YOU STUPID FUCKS
No.715836
File: 1450951139702.jpg (423.27 KB, 595x842, 595:842, 300ee0426011bd24afa05f21d4….jpg)
>>715815
>!
Who's in there!? S-saber!?
No.715838
>>715836
HEY THERE SWEETHEART I'LL SHOW YOU A SABER.
ONLY, Y'KNOW, IT'S TINY AND KIND OF UNDESIRABLE
HEH HEH HEH
No.715839
>>715836
>Saber
>Saber
>SABER
ARRRRRSSSSAAAAAAAA
>that definitely sounds like "Arthur"
No.715840
>>715829
>laughs
Sounds pretty fitting for someone like Damian.
>>715832
Hey, I didn't expect most of the things in my life to go the way they did, and look where I ended up.
>>715837
Guess not.
>holy shit he's actually happy
>sound the alarms
No.715842
File: 1450951544244.jpg (45.46 KB, 292x303, 292:303, remember when Jason was th….jpg)
>>715840
Take it easy, Marc. I'm gonna nap before I have to wake up and remove all the bugs and traps Damian probably set up.
>gone
No.715843
Guys, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but...
I just got off the phone with NASA.
JonTron is a sandnigger
And I'm a zipperhead
WHAT'S A LIBERAL TO DO
No.715844
File: 1450951609321.jpg (172.58 KB, 850x785, 170:157, sample-d2a891fcd760bb3bbe3….jpg)
>>715839
Hold on hold on! I'll get it off!
>Crowbar get
Stand still!
No.715845
>>715843
Have you tried taking cyanide pills?
No.715846
>>715844
>what
>the fuck
>are you doing
>that's a Berserker class Servant
AAAAAAAARRRSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>flailing
>THIS IS NOT CHRISTMAS
>THIS IS NOT CHRISTMAS AT ALL
No.715847
>>715845
ACHUACH
ACHUASUHF OH MAN
OH MAN IT'S VIDEOGAMEDUNKEY OH MAN
No.715848
>>715846
>Nigger you said it sounded like Arthur
You know, no. I'm not dealing with this.
ARCHER!
No.715849
>>715847
Welp, he's probably dead.
>looks around
Hey everybody, look! A dead body! It's a Christmas miracle!
No.715851
>>715842
Alright. Be seeing you, Jason.
No.715852
File: 1450951882185.png (746.01 KB, 818x1200, 409:600, 1a36354477f10abfcaa8d7289a….png)
>>715848
>u fokn wot
>Berserker's growls barely sound like words
>>715850
>this guy
CHRIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS
No.715853
File: 1450951914987.png (420.57 KB, 2000x1034, 1000:517, 450254d78f60e45073f243e8c8….png)
>tfw was spending a wonderful Christmas eve with the sister
>tfw here
>>715850
>peeking over him
You want to take this one?
No.715854
>>715849
DEAD BODY, WHERE
I GOTTA PAY MY AFRICAN AMERICAN COMPATRIOTS THEIR WATERMELON, MAN
No.715855
File: 1450952009306.jpg (301.08 KB, 850x1277, 850:1277, sample-cc7eae50190b0cbad4b….jpg)
>>715850
Well if you're there.. then who's in there..
>Points at Beserker
>>715852
>He looks mad..
No.715856
File: 1450952039841.gif (128.8 KB, 413x513, 413:513, 649238f7b37afbc3ffac31577f….gif)
>>715837
>"hero"
>There we go again...
Maybe that's it...
>>715840
Good point.
>Jason is gone
>Not about to thirdwheel this one
I'll leave the happy couple alone. See you, Marc.
>Ragna out
No.715857
>>715854
Whoa now! You can't just say something like that! Who do you think you are, Donald Trump?
No.715858
File: 1450952053035.jpg (201.22 KB, 792x1000, 99:125, 9bdf7e3b56e124e7de6fcbda27….jpg)
>>715852
>goddammit Lancelot
Don't you think that's enough yelling?
No.715859
>>715852
Well I can't really make good on that mistletoe tradition with that helmet over your face, you know.
That, and the whole "being a shabby killing machine" thing.
We'll work it out, I can sense something special about this one.
>>715853
My batting average wouldn't even get me on the Marlins, friendo.
>>715855
OLD MAN JENKINS??
No.715860
>>715840
Then you're in the right mood for Christmas~
Now wait here, the preparations must be made~
>leaps out
No.715861
>>715855
>crack goes the helmet
>pop goes Lancelot
>oh yeah he looks mad
>>715858
Chriiiiist...maaas....
>must not upset the Vlad
>>715859
>YES HELLO I AM BERSERKER
>WHAT?
No.715863
>>715861
That's a good man, Lancelot.
>because I'm in too good a mood to Kazikli Bei a bitch
No.715864
File: 1450952292148.jpg (89.75 KB, 695x960, 139:192, Cape Physics 2, Physics Ha….jpg)
>>715856
>thumbs up
Take care of yourself, Ragna.
>>715860
Alright. You know where to find me.
No.715865
File: 1450952343931.jpg (182.93 KB, 850x1203, 850:1203, sample-a4f64e9d2fd3d6169d0….jpg)
>>715859
No its most definitely not old man Jenkins.
>Hands you Starbucks gift card
>>715861
>Oh man this guy looks like hell. If I was stuck in there I would be pretty pissed too.
Uh.. Merry Christmas. That gift card is for outdoor things. You look like the outdoorsy kind of servant..
No.715866
>>715862
Exactly! Only rich people can get away with being racist on a regular basis!
No.715867
File: 1450952353480.png (574.68 KB, 825x666, 275:222, c30c1c38797788f8343db63850….png)
>>715859
I have a very small noblewoman playing a game of hide and seek with me and I don't know how long I have left before she finds out that I'm here.
No.715868
>>715861
See, now you're just doing the teeth thing on purpose.
I don't think I can attempt any kind of compromise in good faith when I gotta stare at that mug.
>>715865
It could have been Old Man Jenkins' cousin.
Old Man Jenkins.
>?
A coffee card?
I'M RICH
>>715867
Is this a wink wink nudge nudge Yew Bow case or a wink wink nudge nudge show me where she keeps the moolah case.
No.715869
>>715863
...
>>715865
>Berserker here
>too hopped up on Mad Enhancement to be sane enough to know what the fuck Rin is saying
...
>>715868
>I'm
>going
>to
>kick your butt
No.715870
File: 1450952712925.jpg (381.58 KB, 600x849, 200:283, 22ff1cf6a7020e445f588c2962….jpg)
>>715868
Well you're 20 dollars richer, or 4 venti coffee's. Personally I prefer the tea there, but it's your choice.
>>715869
>This. This is why I don't do drugs.
No.715871
File: 1450952804933.jpg (430.11 KB, 645x911, 645:911, aa7b4267ad967b008c9a2783b4….jpg)
>>715868
Wink wink nudge nudge cover for me.
>fishing in his pockets
>all there are is tea bags and tea leaves
I'll give you an I.O.U.
No.715872
>>715869
Thanks, green letters. I dunno what I would do without you.
Boy, isn't it great that I'm the only one that can see you?
>>715870
Four 20 coffees?
Winners don't do drugs, little boy.
No.715873
>>715869
Play. Nice. Or Enkidu will be upset.
>>715870
You realize that's a Berserker, yes.
And you call yourself a veteran of a Grail War to not recognize someone robbed of their sanity.
No.715874
File: 1450952924558.jpg (187.58 KB, 850x1200, 17:24, sample-ae4a2d2db2735ff5272….jpg)
>>715872
>your ass
>is grass
>>715870
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>715873
>but-
>aw
>you live this time, Archer
>spiritmodes awaaaaaaaaaaaaay
No.715875
>>715871
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan do.
>Yew Bow and money
So do I just let her out in the yard once before bed to use the bathroom or what.
>>715874
I resemble that implication!
No.715876
File: 1450953123945.jpg (182.76 KB, 850x1213, 850:1213, sample-b39a1f565ed250835a5….jpg)
>>715872
>Little boy?
>Little boy?
Little boy?
>I'm wearing stockings and a skirt you idiot.
>>715873
I'm in a good mood, I don't want to ruin it by carrying a conversation with you. If you'll excuse me..
>Spell book get
>Reading
>>715874
>I shit.. I just gave a gift card to a hunting and outdoors shop to a servant who can turn anything into a phantasm..
No.715877
>>715876
>bitch
>spears coming out of the book
>into her hands
Let us not forget which one of us could be turned into a pincushion for "getting smart" with me, Tohsaka Rin.
No.715878
File: 1450953252320.jpg (256.89 KB, 487x655, 487:655, 470c1681e30acd2f76b69deedd….jpg)
I feel like I'm forgetting something...
No.715879
>>715876
Just remember, you're beautiful, no matter your detrimental personal life choices.
Or something like that. Whatever.
>places the tea bag on her head
I hear this kind of thing is popular with the young male crowd these days.
No.715880
File: 1450953279232.png (270.59 KB, 450x562, 225:281, 0f10b8f539dabc8c904d54ce09….png)
>>715875
When she asks for tea give her one more sugar than she asks, don't give her alcohol, no milk before bed, and for the love of whatever divine spirits exist, don't let her get killed.
No.715881
>>715880
That's not a no.
>crossbow summoned
Just to play Devil's Advocate here, what's the pay severance like if none of that happens.
No.715882
>>715877
>Taking out the spears one by one
>Not flinching
Yes yes I get it your all powerful. Go pester someone else with your tooth picks.
>>715879
>Snatches the card back
Forget I gave you anything.
No.715883
File: 1450953729694.png (414.34 KB, 698x1007, 698:1007, f76d8d4c4006e84c9f54b9ded3….png)
>>715881
I don't have time to haggle, Hood. Though if none of it happens and she finds herself bleeding out I suppose you won't be seeing me around for much longer.
No.715884
>>715882
>u wot
>those're full sized spears
>as in
>eight feet long
>through the palms
>Vlad doesn't fuck around
>all Vlad hears is Rin screaming
I suppose modern magus training does not teach one of the intricate agony of impalement.
When you're done wasting breath, I will wait for you to swallow your pride and beg for an end.
No.715885
File: 1450953917268.jpg (587.23 KB, 1200x1109, 1200:1109, 53657865_p7_master1200.jpg)
>>715882
Ah ah ah, Santa knows when you're naughty or nice.
I don't count 'cause I'm a ghost.
>>715883
Woof! Hard to believe who's the carbon copy of who.
>salute
Aye aye. But next time, don't make it sound like a twofer.
>stands vigilantly
>vigilantly
>vigilantly...
>zzz
No.715886
File: 1450954183661.png (468.05 KB, 780x1101, 260:367, cecfd488eb721865e53f9d35ee….png)
>>715884
>Doesn't have the book anymore
>Not even paying attention to you
>>715885
>If santa ever comes back as a Servant I'm seriously quiting this crap
Sleep well I Robin.
No.715887
>>715886
>sorry babe
>you're not no-selling this one
>Masters ain't shit on Servants, let alone Noble Phantasms
Really? Well, Enkidu won't mind one more Christmas decoration. It's not like I would sully my innards with your vile blood.
>Kazikli Bei: Bloodstained King Demon
>cue Gate of Babylon impalement
No.715888
>>715883
>Not happening, I ain't doing this tonight with you darling.
Another day Vlad.
>Gone
No.715889
>leeeeeeeeeeans in
It would be a very bad day if Santa arrived on Christmas Eve and all the bad children were still awake.
Then they wouldn't get any presents.
GO TO SLEEP
>SLAM
No.715890
File: 1450954935116.jpg (126.69 KB, 600x839, 600:839, 353d661a38ce23faeb4030af1e….jpg)
>>715889
So that's what she did with all those fried chicken buckets...
>>715888
And Tohsaka's got stigmata all over like someone went and-
>>715887
Oh. Oh...
No.715891
>>715890
The resilience of the human mind is fascinating. I've seen all kinds of last stands as the impaling prince, it is not uncommon.
That Archer of hers will probably save her before she bleeds out.
Good day, Master of Saber...s.
How you manage that feat is beyond me.
>spiritmodes away
No.715932
>onemoredayonemoredayonemoreday
No.715934
>>715932
You look worried, child.
No.715943
File: 1450972123443.png (981.73 KB, 1224x1920, 51:80, 3a842ab790977bd2a8d7eb681b….png)
>>715934
Worried? But I'm excited...
No.715944
File: 1450972948218.png (617.38 KB, 1280x769, 1280:769, tumblr_nze8z99Xfy1unolp8o1….png)
>>715943
Ah, yes. I had almost forgotten...
No.715945
>>715944
Did you guys not celebrate Christmas underground? It's okay, I didn't used to either, at my old home. But better late than never, right...?
No.715946
>>715945
No, we did. It is for another reason.
>ASGORE YOU USELESS FUCK
No.715947
>>715946
...
>leeet's not ask
Oh. Well, I hope you get some good out of Christmas, even with all the bad. Tis the season...
No.715948
>>715947
>
I will try my best, child.
There have been too many bad things in my life. I would like some more good.
No.715949
File: 1450986496110.jpg (179.18 KB, 850x1189, 850:1189, sample-b8f3b0e6fe40dc97e32….jpg)
>Hm. That man was interesting.
>Flips through the pages of the book I am reading.
>It's a shame that I had to break his fingers. I hope the master won't be upset with me.
No.715951
>>715950
Ah, I am sorry. Please accept this gift as an apology.
No.715953
>>715952
W-w-what?
>She can feel his anger.
>Sweating sweating.
No.715954
File: 1450990242562.jpg (70.39 KB, 500x677, 500:677, 500px-Cletus_Kasady_(Earth….jpg)
making eggnog in the tub!
No.715955
File: 1450990292534.jpg (232.87 KB, 850x1406, 425:703, sample-410fe6e6119793cd1a3….jpg)
>>715953
>...
>...
Good grief.
Guess it can't be helped.
>takes the present
>>715954
>uh
No.715956
>>715955
It's a sailor uniform. I hope you like it.
>Status: Still nervous.
No.715957
File: 1450990518600.jpg (75.77 KB, 639x350, 639:350, Cletus_Kasady_(Earth-19411….jpg)
>>715955
IN THE TUUUUUUUUUUB!
No.715958
File: 1450990685070.png (1.17 MB, 756x1100, 189:275, d777557d21e465233b6d1b9bf7….png)
>>715956
>why would you tell him
>making it wooooorse
....
>holds the box out
You know, I was going to smash this thing to a pulp a second ago.
But I don't think I even want to touch something a coward gave me.
>>715957
>...
Can I use the tub after you're done.
No.715959
File: 1450990768221.jpg (195.66 KB, 615x727, 615:727, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>715958
why not use it now?
No.715960
>>715958
I am not a coward. I simply did not want you to touch me and I did warn you.
>It's so hard to tell what he's thinking.
No.715961
File: 1450990984676.png (367.27 KB, 500x727, 500:727, tumblr_nz5pacp06D1rg2ru1o1….png)
>>715959
Too soon. Algae needs the nutrients in your eggnog to grow.
>>715960
>...
You threw little paper balls at me until I turned around.
And then you broke my fingers.
Sure sounds like a coward.
No.715962
File: 1450991104937.jpg (272.57 KB, 1024x1462, 512:731, carnage_by_soul_drawer-d39….jpg)
>>715961
this is true, now to light up all the mistletoe around here!
No.715963
File: 1450991178021.jpg (267.79 KB, 900x1666, 450:833, Persona_Lucifer_by_Aede_ch….jpg)
No.715964
File: 1450991243920.jpg (107.47 KB, 830x572, 415:286, Cletus_Kasady_(Earth-92131….jpg)
>>715963
are you jiggling ya bells in public?
No.715965
File: 1450991350810.jpg (55.93 KB, 850x637, 850:637, sample-a3e9654d6ad309bdab9….jpg)
>>715961
That doesn't sound like me.
>Did I do that? I can't remember.
>>715963
>Sweating intensifies.
No.715966
>>715964
I have neither none to jingle or any motivation to do so.
It's so hard to find good work clothes these days.
No.715967
>>715965
oh hey I called it
>>715966
tell me about it, I just go for skin suits and hope for the best.....eggnog?
No.715968
File: 1450991499763.jpg (771.38 KB, 685x1276, 685:1276, b94c7971ac532d97f92aad577c….jpg)
>>715962
Can't smoke mistletoe.
>>715965
Doesn't matter.
Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to do things the guy that punched you to death tells you to.
>walks out
No.715970
>>715965
>
>>715967
Mine are simple will. It helps with the special silk cut I need.
But then that affords the Lady Death the opportunity to make Bayonetta jokes of me.
>
Cinnamon?
No.715971
File: 1450991564984.png (1.29 MB, 781x1225, 781:1225, I don't wanna grow up, I w….png)
No.715973
>>715970
it's got a pinch of it in there, used the tub to make it!
>>715971
Happy whatever the hell it is you Jews celebrate day!
No.715974
>>715973
...Not like I practice Judaism anymore, but thanks.
No.715975
>>715973
That tub has seen more action than half the poor bastards rotting in the downstairs room.
>sticks a cup in
A pity about the gift giving this year.
No.715976
>>715975
depends, have ya met the people giving out gifts?
>>715974
so ya no longer practice Jujitsu?
No.715977
>>715976
That's not what that me- Wait, why am I even bothering to explain?
No.715978
>>715976
I'm really more concerned with the aspects nobody cares about anymore.
I really never know what to get my brother for his birthday.
No.715979
>>715978
get him a jock strap
>>715977
because Jay, Flash, or ya other friends aren't here
No.715980
File: 1450992538373.jpg (264.65 KB, 1000x847, 1000:847, Moonman watches you sleep.jpg)
No.715981
>>715979
A jock strap and the end of the world.
It has a nice ring to it.
>Satan awaaaay
No.715982
>>715981
it sure does!
>>715980
so just wanted to ask....does your girlfriend shit in a box?
No.715983
>>715982
>This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it?
Okay, one: What the fuck kind of question is that, and two: How the hell should I know?
No.715984
>>715983
you've never seen her shit?
No.715985
>>715967
What did you call?
>>715970
........
Hm?
No.715986
>>715985
ya going to die
like all the other maids
No.715987
>>715984
You're a special kind of stupid, Carnage.
>sighs
No.
No.715988
>>715987
said the guy who's never seen his girlfriend poop
No.715989
File: 1450993681930.jpg (323.09 KB, 750x938, 375:469, Moon Knight has a fucking ….jpg)
>>715988
This is the part where I'd ask "What the fuck is wrong with you?", but I have a feeling your answer would be "everything."
No.715990
>>715989
you sound like Stumpy
No.715991
>>715986
>Smiles.
I would not mind dying.
No.715992
>>715990
That's probably because we both hate you.
No.715993
File: 1450993996143.jpg (121.07 KB, 571x605, 571:605, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>715991
.....really? come'r
>>715992
yeah well.....I hate you less then I hate him
No.715994
>>715993
Didn't you call me the "third-worst hero" a while back?
No.715995
>>715994
and he's on a list with others
No.715996
>>715995
>shrugs
I'll take what I can get. At least I'm not at the very top of your list.
No.715997
File: 1450994378464.png (945.77 KB, 628x1000, 157:250, 7cb99ddcc5f5715d1f558e62f2….png)
>>715993
As much as I would like you to kill me I will have to respectively decline your offer.
No.715998
>>715997
other then rip out ya insides and eat'm....I gotta ask why?
>>715996
you don't bully Ness and at times at least try to be a hero
No.715999
>>715997
>she has a deathwish too
You actually broke his fingers?
No.716000
>>715998
So how's Flash any different?
No.716001
File: 1450994645805.jpg (125.14 KB, 707x500, 707:500, c024437339f8cd46df4de6bde7….jpg)
>>715998
That would not kill me and I am currently hired to someone.
No.716002
File: 1450994734039.jpg (100.32 KB, 600x1245, 40:83, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>716000
he's part of the Spiders and as much as I hate Stumpy....I really really
REALLY
hate Spider-Man!
>>716001
still worth a shot
No.716003
>>716002
Yeah, but if it wasn't for Spider-Man you wouldn't have that symbiote.
No.716004
Treehouse is comfy and bug free.
No.716005
File: 1450994946742.jpg (55.93 KB, 850x637, 850:637, sample-a3e9654d6ad309bdab9….jpg)
>>715999
Y-yea.....
>Looks to the side.
>Status: Nervous.
No.716006
>>716003
so! I can still hate him! with his lame jokes, that stupid mask! and his cellophane spiders! FUCK HIM AND THOSE THINGS!
No.716007
File: 1450995051844.gif (130.48 KB, 404x500, 101:125, 9073c1e128a022024a825abbb4….gif)
>>716005
I am sure he deserved it.
>shrug
The SPW has already apologized profusely in his stead, knowing he never will.
No.716008
>>716004
Might wanna baby-proof it in case Damian comes back.
>>716006
You're just mad someone was able to stop you with a piece of cellophane.
No.716009
>>716008
have you HAD cellophane thrown at you!?
No.716010
>>716008
S'what I was doing all this time.
No.716012
>>716011
I still hate you!
No.716013
File: 1450995348501.jpg (156.67 KB, 850x1221, 850:1221, sample-c58521d2ecb4d6d09cd….jpg)
>>716002
Besides, I am sure you would hate to have some knives coming out of your ass.
>>716007
>Coughs.
Anyway, did you sleep well?
No.716014
File: 1450995379613.jpg (154.31 KB, 676x922, 338:461, Moonman, Moonman, can't yo….jpg)
>>716009
Yeah, but it's never stopped me in my tracks.
>>716010
>laughs
Just checking. We don't want him getting hurt, that'd just triple the amount of bitching he does.
>>716011
So Carnage is already upset. Feel like poking the hornet's nest?
No.716015
File: 1450995442652.png (451.06 KB, 1864x1805, 1864:1805, Spider-Man poledances whil….png)
>>716012
I know, I know.
>>716014
Carnage is always upset.
But that wouldn't stop me from poking harder.
No.716016
>>716013
>one is still in it
you're late to that party
>>716014
YOU SAY THAT NOW!
>>716015
Hate you more then I hate Stumpy!
No.716017
File: 1450995861948.png (509.18 KB, 835x624, 835:624, 'Scuse me while I kiss the….png)
>>716015
Would anything stop you?
>>716016
>nods
I tempt fate way more often than I should.
No.716018
File: 1450996053193.jpg (61.26 KB, 850x672, 425:336, sample-9f92d7d19aecfefb090….jpg)
>>716016
I know but I am sure that I amount be the last to join that party, but I won't attack you unless told to do so or you threaten the one I serve.
No.716019
File: 1450996054121.jpg (62.55 KB, 564x542, 282:271, Implying the mets will eve….jpg)
>>716016
Really? I feel like I won a medal.
>>716017
Hmm...
>thinking
HMMMMMMMM...
>continues thinking
No.716020
File: 1450996151703.jpg (422.13 KB, 841x726, 841:726, tumblr_nz615bxeXY1u71bc2o3….jpg)
>>716013
I did, actually.
>pic related
>Gio's swamped
No.716021
File: 1450996152938.jpg (488.18 KB, 1326x1650, 221:275, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>716018
well who do ya serve?
>>716019
the medal of HATE!
>>716017
you wait till he turns those things on you!
No.716022
>>716014
He won't show up if he knows what's good for'im.
No.716023
>>716019
This is gonna take a while, isn't it.
>>716021
Not like he has any reason to. I'm on his side.
>>716022
He doesn't. That's why I'm expecting him to come back.
No.716024
>>716021
When do I get it?
>>716023
HMMMMMMMMMMM...
No.716025
>>716023
two words Sailor Moon, two words that could rip everything like that apart Civil is the first one
No.716026
>>716023
He feels neglected by everyone and I'm the closest thing to a grown up "him" that isn't a psycho clone made by his hot mom.
So he tries to act all cool to impress me. Except I hated myself when I was a kid so it just reminds me of how bad I was.
What a joke.
No.716027
File: 1450996492689.jpg (272.57 KB, 1024x1462, 512:731, carnage_by_soul_drawer-d39….jpg)
>>716024
RIGHT NOW!
>hands him the medial
merry Christmas you wall crawling meat bag!
No.716028
>>716024
>squint
Stop that.
>>716025
You're forgetting I did jack shit during the first Civil War.
>>716026
You'd think he'd learn to shut up.
No.716029
>>716028
HE SAID IT!
CIVIL WAR!
No.716030
>>716027
Wow really?
Thanks, man.
I'll hang this on my wall or something.
>>716028
Nnnnnnno?
No.716031
>>716028
We're Robins, Moonman: we never shut up.
No.716032
>>716021
Why would you want to know that?
>>716020
That's actually great.
>That's actually really adorable.
>Shakes my head diminishing the thought.
No.716033
>>716032
why wouldn't I?
>>716030
Moon Man said Civil War, you know what must be done
No.716034
File: 1450996896896.png (351.25 KB, 500x712, 125:178, tumblr_nz7t8s7Hgd1qjzwqeo1….png)
>>716032
>Giorno Giovana: most adorable mobster
>you heard it here folks!
I hope signore Kujo did not give you too rough a time.
No.716035
>>716029
>frowns
God damn it.
>>716030
...But you just stopped.
>>716031
Yeah, but I can actually tolerate it when you start talking.
No.716036
>>716033
HE DID?!
>Iron Spider go!
>>716035
MOON KNIGHT WE HAVE MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS.
You said it!
No.716037
File: 1450996961341.jpg (43.15 KB, 349x534, 349:534, 1414811-362378_128910_carn….jpg)
>>716035
so when Iron Man shows up, remember what you did
No.716038
>>716036
Well, time for me to head to Mexico. Again.
>>716037
Stark's the one who'll really fuck things up, we can all agree on that.
No.716039
File: 1450997233346.jpg (370.55 KB, 700x979, 700:979, b0b0ce83cbb56518fe0636fb8f….jpg)
>>716033
>Suspicious man with suspicious request.
Well, it does not effect you to who is currently hiring me. I think you would try and attack them if I told you.
>>716034
I did try to give him a present as an apology, but he did not like it.
No.716040
>>716038
he will find you!
>>716036
so why was in the game for it even when I was dead at the time?
No.716041
File: 1450997290520.jpg (260.41 KB, 1024x700, 256:175, fah__iron_spider_by_parisa….jpg)
>>716038
WE GOTTA BATTON DOWN THE HATCHES?!
Is that what they say? Batton?
I don't think that's right...
>>716040
They gotta make DLC money somehow.
No.716042
File: 1450997334716.jpg (75.77 KB, 639x350, 639:350, Cletus_Kasady_(Earth-19411….jpg)
>>716039
WHO PAID YOU TO GRAB DR, PARVEL!?
>>716041
but I was dead!
No.716043
>>716040
He didn't find me the first time. Doubt he'd find me if I did it again.
>>716041
It's right.
>sighs
We're not really doing this, are we?
No.716044
>>716043
but his suit, it upgraded! now he can find you and all the porn!
No.716045
>>716042
I don't think they care.
>>716043
But what does batton mean?
And we might be doing this.
No.716046
File: 1450997613450.jpg (110 KB, 725x1101, 725:1101, Batman may be the night, b….jpg)
>>716044
Maybe if he was sober. But Tony's almost always drinking.
>>716045
I don't know, go find a dictionary.
>facepalms
So we're re-doing an event. Are we that desperate for ideas?
No.716047
>>716045
oh but Mabu won't push to put me in MvC3....bunch of dicks
>>716046
that just makes him stronger!
No.716048
>>716035
'Cause we're friends and when I blather on it's trying to be fun, even in my own kinda fucked up way. When he does it, it's intentionally grating.
No.716049
>>716046
Desperate? For ideas?
>>716047
Well they wouldn't put any symbiote in from what I hear.
No.716051
>>716039
If kindness had already been extended, it is no longer your fault if he is angry.
You did well.
No.716052
>>716047
Are you trying to say Iron Man's powered by alcohol?
>>716048
Exactly.
>chuckles
Can't believe he resorted to the "my dad is better than your dad" argument.
>>716049
>
I mean, why repeat the Civil War instead of trying something new? It just seems... lazy.
No.716053
>>716052
oh I'm not trying
No.716054
>>716050
I'm sure there's no political agenda for it, just as there's no political agenda in phasing out the muties.
>>716052
It seems lazy, but...are you sure we should do something new?
Describe new to me.
>Civil War II: By Brian Michael Bendis
No.716055
>>716052
I got too much going on for me to let him bring me down.
I got you, and Squigs, and Roy.
S'all I need.
No.716056
>>716054
who cares about the sub humans anyways?
No.716057
File: 1450998320068.png (1.49 MB, 896x1337, 128:191, Khonshu hung him from the ….png)
>>716053
...You know, I'd actually believe that.
>>716054
>REEEEEE
You can only retread old territory so many times before it gets boring, Spider-Man.
>>716055
Well, as long as you're okay. Too bad I'm a lot easier to upset.
No.716058
>>716056
Geez, now that's racist.
>>716057
So you're thinking Civil War II wouldn't be an idea people buy into?
>dialogue also by Bendis
No.716059
>>716042
>Should I like to him?
>…
My current master is Remilia.
>>716051
>Smiles.
Thank you, that actually means a lot.
No.716060
>>716057
when ya see a Hulkbuster hooked up to a Budweiser truck, you'll know
>>716058
oh like anyone cares!
>>716059
good for him
No.716061
>>716057
You have no idea how hard it was for me to get that patient.
And it's barely anything at all.
No.716062
File: 1450998629253.jpg (261.88 KB, 850x824, 425:412, sample-d2776cdbe8c01b3d949….jpg)
>>716059
I am glad I could cheer you up a little.
There's a Christmas bonus coming your way, too.
No.716063
File: 1450998672569.jpg (102.49 KB, 786x941, 786:941, He works at night, dressed….jpg)
>>716058
I'm saying there shouldn't be a Civil War II. Civil War II is a bad idea.
>mmmm that's some spicy Bendis
>>716060
When was the last time Tony used a Hulkbuster suit, anyway?
>>716061
>shrugs
Being patient's never gotten me anywhere before.
No.716064
File: 1450998728774.jpg (120.94 KB, 600x856, 75:107, Iron_Spiderman_FinalVersio….jpg)
>>716060
Those're some hot opinions you got there, redman.
>>716063
Civil War II might be a bad idea, but so are lots of things.
But maybe you're right, maybe it could end badly. Do you think it could end in such a way?
>BEEEEEEENDIS
No.716065
File: 1450999017952.jpg (54.08 KB, 500x654, 250:327, tumblr_laswsv6f7W1qcs3pdo1….jpg)
>>716063
Me neither. Fast and hard's my game.
No.716066
>>716064
FACTS! web breath!
>>716063
more then you want to know
No.716067
>>716064
I'm almost positive it would end badly. There's no way it could end well. It could only end badly.
>BEEEEEEENDIIIIIIS
>>716065
...Did you really have to word it like that?
>>716066
Huh. Guess Banner stopped going to anger management class.
No.716068
>>716066
Opinions.
>>716067
I'm sure it could end well with like...a part--
>shakes his head
WHAT'S GOING ON?!
No.716069
File: 1450999458609.png (636.17 KB, 554x624, 277:312, Moon Knight reacts to Legi….png)
>>716068
I... don't know. It felt like we just... stopped trying.
No.716070
>>716060
You're not going to attack him?
>>716062
Oh there's no need to give me a Christmas bonus. You've already done enough for me.
No.716071
File: 1450999791567.png (494.38 KB, 1275x414, 425:138, This image is 10x more hil….png)
>>716069
What went wrong?
>changes back to normal
No.716073
>>716070
It is standard business practice. And you earned it for having to deal with a problem of mine.
No.716074
File: 1450999986255.jpg (414.95 KB, 558x928, 279:464, Hoverin' around at an aver….jpg)
>Ratchet's current speed: fast
>hooray for hoverboots
No.716075
>>716071
No idea. Maybe we shouldn't ask questions.
>>716072
I don't know why I'm surprised.
No.716076
>>716075
...
...
...
>leans in too close to Marc's mask
Skrull check!
>cupcheck
No.716077
>>716075
You're probably right.
>MEANWHILE OUTSIDE
No.716078
>>716076
>collapses
>that ain't no Skrull, son
You motherfucker...
>>716077
>pained Moonman noises
>how can one deal with being kicked in the balls and the presence of Bendis?
No.716079
File: 1451000460460.jpg (184.23 KB, 850x1062, 425:531, sample-ff0d01d6e9aa5304e86….jpg)
>>716073
To kind it reminds me of her.
Thank you a lot. Can I ask you something?
No.716080
>>716078
You alright down there?
No.716081
>>716078
Aight, that's my Mooninite and not a dirty alien bastard.
I had to be sure.
No.716082
File: 1451000798858.png (689.32 KB, 700x851, 700:851, 0e55d4842b3e3c1bd2f2fa6d3c….png)
No.716083
>>716080
No... No I'm not.
>>716081
>struggles to get back up
I hate you sometimes.
No.716084
>>716083
But are you ever?
No.716085
>>716083
You can never be too careful.
>helpan Marc up
No.716086
>>716084
Sometimes. Just not today.
>>716085
>
>
>
>Moonman no
No.716087
>>716082
What would be the one thing that you would like someone to get you if they were to get you a gift?
No.716089
File: 1451001119130.jpg (120.74 KB, 503x598, 503:598, Please continue with the c….jpg)
No.716090
File: 1451001248066.png (661.89 KB, 889x562, 889:562, What does the scouter say ….png)
>>716088
...You know there're easier ways to check for Skrulls, right? They've only got half as many pressure points as humans.
>>716089
I'm not always upset, Spidey. I have good days too.
No.716091
>>716067
doesn't have to do with Banner
>>716068
FACT!
>>716070
who?
No.716092
File: 1451001337060.png (386.31 KB, 1000x813, 1000:813, This shit is why people do….png)
>>716090
I find that hard to believe.
>>716091
Opinion!
No.716093
>>716091
>"who?"
>books falls out of a hole in the ceiling on this specific page
No.716094
>>716092
FACT!
>>716093
SUCH LUST FOR OW- god damnit he's got me doing it!
No.716095
File: 1451001469583.png (546.67 KB, 679x800, 679:800, a3f1a8a6488139b9935598eed6….png)
>>716087
I... do not know, actually.
I already have everything I want.
Maybe to spend more time with the friends I have that are still alive.
...I need to put something on Narancia's grave, too.
No.716096
>>716090
Yeah but where's the fun in that?
No.716097
No.716098
>>716091
So he's just been parading around in the Hulkbuster for fun?
>>716092
You hardly believe anything I say.
>>716096
...You have no idea how much I want to punch you right now.
No.716100
>>716094
OR FICTION?
I love that show.
>>716098
And most of the time, you give me good reasons not to.
No.716101
>>716098
I'm standing right here.
>extends his arms outwards
Are you not entertained?! Is this not why you are here!?
>Jay's been watching Gladiator
No.716102
>>716100
you're the only one
No.716103
>>716099
Not really, no.
>>716100
Then why do you keep agreeing to work with me?
>>716101
>well then
>time to go in for the slap
No.716104
File: 1451001821755.jpg (27.09 KB, 413x299, 413:299, Spider-Perv, Spider-Perv, ….jpg)
No.716105
>>716103
>slapped
>MM WHATCHA SAAAAAAAAY
>MM THAT YOU ONLY MEANT WEEEEEELLLLL
>falling in slow motion dramatically
No.716106
>>716103
why the fuck you lyin~
>>716104
also does Peter Parker know you're banging his wife?
No.716107
File: 1451002157096.jpg (557.4 KB, 800x1270, 80:127, e196edf7d9a47d334263ed1037….jpg)
>>716095
I'll see what I am able to do.
No.716108
>>716104
Honestly, I feel sorry for you. At least when people call me a menace, it's actually justified.
>>716105
>the pimp hand is strong with this one
Okay, that helped me feel better.
>>716106
Except I'm telling the truth. I'm not a complete tool like Iron Man.
No.716109
>>716106
Uhhhhh...
Who's wife?
>>716108
Well we can both be sorry for each other, then!
No.716110
>>716107
I appreciate it, Sakuya.
No.716111
>>716108
ppppffft sure Moonbay
>>716109
Peter Parker, dork that use to stalk you and take ya photos like he had a major boner for ya, Neo told me that ya boning his wife
No.716112
>>716108
>flips back up
>thumbs up
>nose all bloody
>cheeky grin go
No.716113
>>716109
>shrugs
Works for me.
>>716111
Moonbay? Now you're just trying too hard.
>>716112
>smirks
Hope I didn't break anything.
No.716114
>>716113
>it's fine
>his nose un-breaks
Lazarus Pit, son.
No.716115
>>716111
Well somebody's been telling lies.
>>716113
Yay, feeling sorry party!
No.716116
>>716113
you say that a lot, yet I feel like you just don't get it and try to cover it up
No.716117
>>716110
I apologize beforehand for I need to be heading out, but I will return as soon as I can. I can't thank you enough for hiring me, Don Giovanna.
No.716118
>>716117
It's alright. I should go lie down again.
Take care of yourself, miss Izayoi.
>
No.716119
>>716115
but Spider-Woman's name is Gwendoline Parker, she's married to Peter Parker, so tell me how that works!?
No.716120
>>716114
Oh, right. You don't really get hurt anymore.
>>716115
Uh... yay?
>>716116
Or maybe your nicknames just aren't that great.
No.716121
>>716120
>ahem
>intentionally bad accent
Oi bub! Oi'm da fukken Wolvureen!
No.716122
>>716120
I'd like to see you do better
No.716123
>>716119
How do you know her name?
>>716120
You're just really getting into that Christmas spirit.
No.716124
>>716123
my side kick told me, and I trust her more then you!
No.716126
>>716125
hey Neo
>gives her a gift card to Cold Stone
merry Christmas
No.716127
>>716121
If you were about seven inches shorter, I might be convinced.
>>716122
Why the hell would I come up with a nickname for myself?
>>716123
I strangled someone with Christmas lights before I came here, does that count as getting into the Christmas spirit?
No.716128
>>716127
thank you for proving my point
No.716130
>>716124
Great reliable source, you really showed me.
Come back when you have actual proof.
>>716127
...
Yeah sure, why not.
No.716131
>>716126
...~
>pops the card into her cleavage
Merry Christmas, Cletus. You'll get your gift tomorrow.
>smooches his cheek
No.716132
>>716130
hhhrrrrRRRRRRRRR!!! this is why I hate you!
>>716131
thanks Neo.....seems bug boy here is being a mood killer, so I'm heading home with Red's gifts, ya ready?
No.716133
File: 1451003848392.png (256.47 KB, 784x693, 112:99, When Moon Knight calls you….png)
>>716128
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
>>716129
So I got the claws and you got the healing. Weird how that worked out.
>>716130
Alright. I'll keep doing that, then.
No.716134
>>716132
Because I need legitimate proof and don't believe in phony rumors?
I am a monster!
>>716133
Yes...actually don't do that.
No.716135
>>716132
>tsk tsk
>stows the flyswatter
Let's get going. The snow will get heavier soon...
No.716136
File: 1451004069367.jpg (272.57 KB, 1024x1462, 512:731, carnage_by_soul_drawer-d39….jpg)
>>716134
menace but yes!
>>716135
>plups her on his shoulder as they strut out
No.716137
File: 1451004212696.jpg (131.22 KB, 1015x787, 1015:787, jason_todd__radioactive_in….jpg)
>>716133
I saw a video like this.
I have to ride on your shoulders and we'll pretend to be one very large adult.
No.716138
>>716134
I'm doing it.
>>716137
...You can't be serious.
No.716139
File: 1451004492647.jpg (131.77 KB, 680x894, 340:447, Spidey, you are an awful c….jpg)
>>716136
Yeesh.
>>716138
Seriously, don't.
No.716140
>>716138
Wanna ride on my shoulders?
No.716141
>I'm getting Bill and Ted vibes in here
>I should go
No.716142
>>716139
Still doing it.
>>716140
Uh... no?
>>716141
>h e l p
No.716143
>>716142
Fine, geez.
Surrounded by Scrooges.
No.716144
File: 1451004704443.png (239.88 KB, 314x398, 157:199, look, all I'm saying is yo….png)
>>716141
>e x c e l l e n t
>>716142
Maaaaaaarc.
Maaaaaaarc.
No.716145
File: 1451004753755.jpg (185.28 KB, 593x900, 593:900, 2058501-venom_7_cover___ma….jpg)
>>716141
hey....going to visit Avengers soon, wanna tag along?
>>716143
hey Pete
>>716142
>>716144
......hey guys
No.716146
>>716143
I'm not that mean, Spider-Man.
>>716144
...Yeah, Jason?
>>716145
Hey Flash. Everything okay?
No.716147
>>716142
>I can't save you from poor friend choices
>>716144
>nono I'm not taking part in any of this Weekend at Bernie's-tier shenanigans
>I'm supposed to be the grinch
>>716145
...I suppose I can go with you.
>I'm even dressed for the occasion
>Sabrina you are so clever
Are we taking the motorcycle again?
No.716148
>>716145
Yo, Flash.
>>716146
I highly doubt this.
No.716149
File: 1451005072751.jpg (58.42 KB, 500x519, 500:519, a mulatto, an albino, a mo….jpg)
>>716146
We have to go back, Marc!
>>716147
>do I hear "drag Stumpy and me along on a romp"?
>>716145
Flash! I know how you can get your street cred back!
No.716150
>>716146
going to Avengers party, you guys coming?
>>716147
not in that dress, that you look lovely in, we take the car
>>716148
going to the Avengers party, see you there
No.716151
>>716149
I fear asking as I'm short on time
No.716152
>>716147
>oh
>well shit
>>716148
If I was mean, I would have tried to murder you by now.
>>716149
I swear, if you bring out that cardboard box again...
>>716150
I'll pass. Most of the Avengers don't get along with me.
No.716153
>>716151
I'll tell you when you get back, you're gonna need to sit down for this one.
Have fun with the capes, Stubs McGee. You know how I feel about like 95% of them.
>>716152
It's TIME!
>shove
>into the box
No.716154
>>716150
Another party where Cap and Tony end up fighting over the last candy cane?
I'll be arriving fashionably late.
>>716152
If you'd attempt it, it wouldn't surprise me.
No.716155
File: 1451005450742.jpg (72.59 KB, 367x711, 367:711, 3126972-secretavengers0310….jpg)
>>716153
I'll stop by the cave tomorrow, merry Christmas Jay bird
>>716154
I'll save you a few of those tiny hot dogs
>>716152
awww come on Marc, it's not the same without you laughing at Clint
No.716157
>>716153
DAMN IT, JASON!
>>716154
I wouldn't get anywhere without shutting down your Spider-Sense.
>>716155
It's not like I'm the only one who laughs at him.
No.716158
>>716155
You the man!
>>716157
Haha no you wouldn't.
No.716159
>>716155
I don't know why you're telling me that, I won't be there.
...Say hi to Dickie and the old fart for me, willya?
>fuck
Here.
>puts a rifle-sized box in Flash's arms
Merry Christmas you big legless lug.
>>716157
And they said carrying a cardboard box was insane.
>>716156
>w h o
>h
>o
No.716160
File: 1451005671004.jpg (872.51 KB, 723x999, 241:333, 45ab3fa0b4468638b935e66674….jpg)
>>716149
>absolutely not
>...
>fine, but I'm only going along to watch
>>716150
>faint blush
>brushes it off
The car, then.
>...
How did you park in a swamp...?
>>716152
>shit indeed
No.716161
>>716159
>the guy you made your sidekick for a day
>do you remember
>I do
No.716162
>>716159
>hands Jay a box
you too
>>716157
you have a good laugh man
>>716158
anytime bro
>>716160
>Crash
it comes to me
>climbing in
shall we?
No.716163
Marry Christmas you all, hope you all have a great night and encase I don't see any of you tomorrow have a good one
No.716164
>>716158
Maybe I'll just spray pesticides in your face, see how that goes.
>grins
>>716159
It kind of is, if we're being honest.
>>716160
>I never asked for these shenanigans.
>>716162
Funny. That's the opposite of what Carnage thought.
>smiles
Not like his opinion matters, though.
No.716165
>>716162
>...I'm not coming home tomorrow, am I
>hops in
>>716163
See you, space cowboy.
No.716166
>>716160
>nah
>it's only fun with the big crazy guy wearing a plastic bag over his head
>>716161
>you don't look like a punk with a mohawk to me
>man that guy was actually pretty alright too
>>716164
You're just saying that.
>>716163
Later, cap.
No.716167
>>716162
>smiles
>>716163
You too, man. Merry Christmas.
>>716164
It'd suck, actually.
No.716168
>>716163
HO HO HOLY SHIT
>>716165
>I sense
>psychic
>>716166
>but
No.716169
>>716163
Merry Christmas, buddy.
>>716166
No. Trust me, I'm being honest.
>>716167
Huh. Glad I thought of it.
No.716170
>>716168
>you sensed correctly
>Hello
No.716171
File: 1451006183969.png (239.88 KB, 314x398, 157:199, look, all I'm saying is yo….png)
>>716168
>no
>>716169
O-oh... well, guess I've got brain problems!
>shrugs
No.716172
File: 1451006198340.jpg (20.45 KB, 500x522, 250:261, TURN IT UP, BRING THE NOIS….jpg)
>>716169
Don't get any ideas.
No.716173
>>716170
>!
>there is somebody
>in my head
Hello.
>>716171
>oh
You don't remember me, do you.
No.716174
>>716171
>smiles
Welcome to the club.
>>716172
Little late for that, wall-crawler.
No.716175
>>716174
Well I think I'm gonna run away before you decide to spray me in the face.
Besides I need to see the wife and kids before heading to the Avengers Party!
>swings out
No.716176
>>716173
>uh
This isn't the part where you call me "dad" is it.
>>716174
It's not bad company.
No.716177
>>716176
No.
>my dad is a nonentity though
...Maybe?
You let me come with you to fight crime once.
I didn't know having to keep watch the whole night counted though.
No.716178
File: 1451006560965.png (898.38 KB, 760x773, 760:773, Codenames are gangster as ….png)
>>716175
>holding a can of bug spray
...Well, see you around.
>>716176
You're one of the only people who'd think that.
No.716179
>>716177
>did I just unconsciously pull a Bruce
>f u c k
I don't work with kids. Bad for business.
>>716178
And this is why we're best friends.
No.716180
>>716179
>thumbs up
Wouldn't have it any other way.
No.716181
>>716179
Doesn't change that it happened.
I just wanted to say thanks.
No.716182
>>716173
You sensed me. Whom might you be...?
No.716183
>>716182
I'm Shigeo.
>
Oh.
>bows
I've never met another esper with telepathy before.
No.716184
>>716180
Neither would I.
>SOCIAL LINK MAXED
>>716181
If you're thanking me then I really didn't take you with me.
No.716185
>>716183
Sabrina.
>bows back
Quite a few come here, you're certain to run into some. A little boy in a hat particularly...
No.716186
File: 1451007326503.png (247.53 KB, 823x872, 823:872, Coming to cut off your fac….png)
>>716184
>AW YEAH
So... what now?
No.716187
>>716184
Why's that.
>>716185
Yeah, I know Ness.
>uh
Is there something I'm missing here.
No.716188
>>716186
Watch shitty Christmas flicks on Netflix?
>>716187
You're a psychic, you tell me.
No.716189
>>716188
Might as well. Not like there's much else going on.
No.716190
>>716188
I can't read minds.
It's ok that you forgot, you didn't really seem happy then either.
>are they going to do that "Netflix and chill" thing master talks about
No.716191
>>716189
Jingle All The Way is always a good migraine.
Poor Arnie.
>>716190
Sounds like you're a pretty bad psychic then.
>at least Jay's with his bro-type
>click goes the TV
>Frankie Says Relax
No.716192
>>716191
>
I thought Americans only watched Die Hard for Christmas.
No.716193
>>716191
Oh right, Schwarzenegger did a Christmas movie. This oughta be good.
No.716194
>>716192
I thought the Japanese didn't know what Christmas was.
>>716193
Abandon all hope, ye souls who enter here.
No.716195
>>716194
It's a Schwarzenegger movie, how bad could it be?
No.716196
>>716194
>...
>racist?
>maybe
We do.
No.716197
>>716195
Ohohohoho. If only you knew.
>novelty zippo go
>>716196
>t w o w a y s t r e e t
>puff
Sarcasm, kid.
No.716198
File: 1451008622796.png (779.29 KB, 859x687, 859:687, F is for friends who do st….png)
>>716197
I take it we're in for a wild ride.
No.716199
>>716197
>but my master's a white guy pretending to be Japanese
Are you ever not sarcastic?
Just curious.
No.716200
File: 1451008692649.jpg (131.22 KB, 1015x787, 1015:787, jason_todd__radioactive_in….jpg)
>>716198
Prepare to see Arnie at his worst and possibly genuinely exasperated.
>>716199
>so he's a weeaboo
That's the question, isn't it?
No.716202
>>716200
>we just don't know
...
Oh.
>watchan the movie
No.716203
>>716201
Innit?
>[screams internally]
>>716202
>you poor fool boy
No.716205
>>716203
>the pain
>it sustains Ahnuld
How's a guy go from Terminator to something like this?
No.716206
>>716204
>uh
What?
>>716205
I don't know but I hope it never happens to us.
Could you imagine us in a terrible Holiday Special?
No.716207
>>716206
I want to say no, but that'd be a lie.
No.716208
File: 1451010147152.jpg (324.78 KB, 692x416, 173:104, hunting_trip_by_duss005-d9….jpg)
>>716207
We've become a sitcom, Marc.
No.716209
>>716208
...Holy shit, we have.
>[LAUGH TRACK]
No.716210
I can't believe she actually got me this...
No.716211
>>716209
I'm too sober for this.
One sec.
>SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTS SHO-SHOTS SHOTS
No.716212
File: 1451010516021.jpg (121.44 KB, 300x647, 300:647, 9d5e8ad884a4b31dd1a2c5c984….jpg)
>>716210
>lining the chimney with barbed wire
It's a tad early for those, don't you think.
No.716213
>>716212
You're telling me. It's frigid, I'd poke holes in the front.
>scowl
No.716214
>>716211
I figured you'd get to drinking sooner or later.
No.716215
File: 1451010680377.jpg (128.66 KB, 450x634, 225:317, 706d7437e4c4da52aec922c72f….jpg)
>>716213
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Odd given the fact I'm speaking the language of my natural enemy.
>lining the bottom with long cardboard tubes
What do you suppose Greek Fire is?
No.716216
>>716215
Greek Fire?
>...
Why don't you ask Rider. You know, a Greek.
No.716217
>>716214
>
The laugh track is back.
You know who's coming now.
No.716218
File: 1451010848526.jpg (162.45 KB, 850x536, 425:268, sample-772a5d06af1eef245dc….jpg)
>>716216
He's a tad indisposed at the moment. And Macedonian.
>thumbs behind him
Plus I hadn't allotted any time for you to make yourself feel smart for the day. That's my bad, I'm afraid.
No.716219
>>716217
I think I know, but like hell if I'm gonna namedrop 'em and make things worse.
No.716220
>>716216
>>716218
>digging around in the presents
>no, none of those are even for him
WAHAHAHA! What a great, if messy holiday!
No.716221
>>716218
I meant the one with a chest like mine.
>buh
No.716222
>distant sounds of freshness
No.716224
>>716220
>OH THAT ALEXANDER
>>716221
Trust me when I say there are few chests that can compare.
>uh
Medusa?
No.716225
File: 1451011068403.jpg (165.82 KB, 850x616, 425:308, sample-52cde52bf566df16976….jpg)
>>716220
>consciously resisting the passive Beautiful Boy
...
>
Dammit.
>honkhonk
>>716224
>shrug
How the hell would I know their real name?
No.716226
File: 1451011229168.png (619.32 KB, 613x875, 613:875, Hello, do you have time to….png)
>>716222
...Fuck.
>>716223
Looks like we're screwed anyway.
No.716227
>>716223
>>716226
>breaks down the door
AYYY YO...UNCLE PHIL
No.716228
>>716224
>?
Ahoy, Saber!
Is that lady you almost here yet? We're running out of these fun boxes!
>he's not even playing with the toys
>Mini no you're not a cat
>>716225
Eh?
Merry uh-
>looks around
>dozens of signs saying "Christmas" everywhere
...eh, I'm sure it's not important. Merry day, Saber's Master!
No.716229
>>716226
No regrets, Mooninite.
>>716227
>
No.716230
>>716227
>now this is a story all about how
>Moon Knight gave Will Smith the finger on Christmas Eve
>>716229
Regrets are for chumps, right?
No.716231
>>716225
You're doing that thing where you pretend to not be a genius again.
How else would you know she was Greek~?
>>716228
I'm sure she's very busy at the moment.
You know what they say about Santa Claus, Rider.
>what else can I do
>throws some broken glass on the barbed wire
No.716232
File: 1451011488363.jpg (126.69 KB, 600x839, 600:839, 353d661a38ce23faeb4030af1e….jpg)
>>716228
>jeez
>pocky: offered
Yeah yeah, merry Commercial Holiday or whatever, Rider.
>ngh
>this is harder to shrug off than I remember
>>716231
>grrr
Even geniuses like to pretend they're normal idiots sometimes. It helps us appreciate being geniuses even more.
No.716233
>>716229
So if you a Red Hood, where's yo hood, man?
I mean I got a hood, it ain't red though. But there's only one good hood, and that's the one you live in!
>laugh track
>>716230
You're givin' me the finger, man?
I mean, I know your supposed to give things on Christmas but...
>laugh track
No.716234
>>716230
Goddamn right.
>>716233
>
Dude come on now. You're gonna summon him.
No.716235
>>716233
>sighs
Damn it, Will. You just had to show up.
>>716234
So what do we do now?
No.716236
>>716231
That he sounds like a real conqueror!
A big man that makes the most of what he desires to do!
>glancing at the mess
Ha! Making him earn his spoils, eh?
>>716232
>gleam
What's this?
>
>
>om
Thanks!
No.716237
>>716234
Him who?
I don't know a him.
>that fucking audience will laugh at anything
>>716235
Why wouldn't I?
No.716238
>>716235
We have to summon him.
>pulls mashed potato mix out of his jacket
Pillowy mounds.
>>716237
SMITE HIM!
No.716239
>>716232
Fishing for compliments?
This season certainly has a...strange effect on the people I know.
>hands a small box
You'll have to wait until after Alter's festivities for that one.
>>716236
Less him and more her.
Less her and more me, really.
Aren't you going out with that pink Rider tonight?
No.716240
File: 1451011920694.png (682.22 KB, 907x1232, 907:1232, What most of leeg thinks a….png)
>>716237
Because no one asked for this?
>>716238
>blink
>blink
Were you carrying that with you this whole time?
No.716241
File: 1451011985296.jpg (84.07 KB, 500x708, 125:177, bdff867f7ea47e4c2b61c7e658….jpg)
>>716236
>he's cute
>too cute
>help
>>716239
>tucks the box into the boob pocket
...
>I'm going to kidnap this Rider I swear
No.716242
>>716238
Smite Him?
Look, I don't know who Smite Him is--
OH NO. NO NO DON'T DO THAT!
>laugh track
WHAS WRONG WITH YOU AUDIENCE? DON'T BE LAUGHIN' AT THAT.
>>716240
I asked fo' it.
And my opinion matters the most.
>laugh audience
>laugh
No.716243
>>716239
Eh, I think big sis already got started without me.
>grin
That's ok, though. Just means I have to catch up more!
>>716241
You feeling alright, Saber's Master lady?
>looks down at the tornado he blew through the presents
Ah, it's not about this, is it? It can't be that big of a deal, right?
No.716244
>>716242
>distant WHERE THE VIDEO GAMES
No.716245
>>716240
You've seen my utility belt right?
>>716242
Back from whence you came, Smith!
No.716246
>>716242
This isn't even funny. Why are they laughing?
>>716245
No, and I don't think I want to.
No.716247
File: 1451012338739.jpg (212.81 KB, 732x678, 122:113, 4c67b9e856eee84111f43b0f77….jpg)
>>716241
>
He tends to have that effect on people.
>smile
Merry Christmas, Fumi.
>that was harder to say than I thought
>fucking Saxons fucking Romans fucking FUCK
>>716243
Your world view still leaves me consistently astounded.
No.716248
>>716243
>aaaaaaand smushed in the tits
>patpat
>>716247
He's too cute. I'm keeping him.
No.716249
>>716244
Wait...WHERE ARE THE VIDEO GAMES?!
>>716245
YOU DON' WANNA DO DIS, MAN
>>716246
Because I tell them to.
>laugh
No.716250
>>716246
Wow okay then.
>
We need someone with pillowy mounds for this.
>>716249
You leave me with no choice!
No.716251
>>716247
Ha! I'd be disappointed if it didn't!
You're alright, but that other you still needs to lighten up.
>
The blue...other you.
You're a pretty confusing guy.
>>716248
Whoa-!
>pomf
>muffled happy Mini noises
No.716252
>>716249
Well, stop. It's getting irritating.
>>716250
...I don't follow.
No.716253
File: 1451012602343.jpg (136.67 KB, 425x559, 425:559, 0a784ec2e448e6f8b088a65c55….jpg)
>>716248
Only if you promise to feed him and change his litter.
We have enough on our hands with Alter, you know.
>>716251
>jeez
>sticks a bow on his hair
Sorry about this.
No.716254
File: 1451012621723.jpg (32.24 KB, 380x317, 380:317, fresh-prince-will-smith-om….jpg)
>>716250
OH NO!
DON'T DO DAT!
>>716252
No Moonman, you are gettin' irritatin'!
>where's the joke
>who cares
No.716255
>>716251
>he looks like a kid and I want to do things to him
I'm gonna need counseling.
>stay riiight there
>>716253
I'm sure the maid I made can do that.
No.716256
>>716252
Tits, you boob.
>[LAUGH TRACK]
>>716254
I'm doin' it!
No.716257
>>716253
Oi! Nobody gives the King of Conquerors away as a present!
>I'd do Zeus Thunder to be menacing but tbh this is nice
>>716255
>they're so big
>she's so nice
>honk honk
No.716258
>>716254
>click clack oh shit that's a gun
Am I?
>>716256
I got that part, I just don't understand how that'll help us deal with Will.
No.716259
>>716255
...You realize as soon as she figures out she might be competing for something, she'll kill her, right.
That sack packs a mean wallop.
>>716257
I'm sure you'll figure something out.
No.716260
>>716258
OHHHHHHHHHH
>>716256
NO YOU DON'T!
>dives out the window
No.716261
>>716259
The Einzberns sure had tough dolls. I'm sure mine can handle it.
>>716257
>you poor boy
>
>she's smiling
No.716262
File: 1451013203422.jpg (63.58 KB, 736x346, 368:173, 5f6dafcf0eb9ca803e864e9510….jpg)
>>716258
It won't. I just wanted to make the joke I just did.
>>716260
Stop that 90's actor!
No.716263
>>716259
Of course! You think we Riders are pansies or something?
>>716261
>
>
>
Eh?
No.716264
File: 1451013297323.png (380.41 KB, 900x1367, 900:1367, 10 out of 10 it's like Bat….png)
>>716260
>BANG BANG
>RUN BITCH
>RUUUUN
>>716262
I thought we were trying to avoid the laugh track.
No.716265
>>716261
>I remember Justeaze
>and Iri
>and Ilya
>sheesh
...Tough is certainly a word for that.
>twig snaps outside
>!
>swood half-drawn
I take it we haven't made any advancement in finding Medea, have we.
>>716263
>just shakes his head
No.716266
>>716263
>guhuhuhuhu
So they call you the King of Conquerors.
Wonder what you'd be if I conquered you.
>>716265
She and Rule Breaker are gone. It's worrying.
>
Stay close, Saber. I'm not going to lose you to a witch.
No.716267
File: 1451013544690.jpg (497.63 KB, 1000x1333, 1000:1333, tumblr_nhek114Jhc1rqpqdho1….jpg)
>Red's asleep, and tomorrow is a fun day with her family
>...what to do until then
No.716268
>>716266
>if I had the capacity for smug you'd really be feelin' it, boyo
>>716266
Conquer the conqueror?
Big Sis says those kinda people are really sad, but I don't think so!
Having a position in life that's high enough to garner that kind of envy, that must mean you're really special!
There's only one person who's done it before, though. Good luck, I'm not so weak!
No.716269
>>716266
>holding a fake umbilical cord and tape
That's no fair, you didn't give me enough time to set up my gag.
I hate to perpetuate the stereotype, but I don't trust her much.
>>716267
Hm?
No.716270
File: 1451013811015.png (141.84 KB, 500x433, 500:433, tumblr_nehho8iO7v1tw779bo1….png)
>>716268
>Serious Series: Serious Sitting
Huh?
>>716269
>
>
>
Gag?
>guh
>nigger you made me reveal that I give a shit
No.716271
>>716269
Eve'n. How's your Chrissy-mas going?
>flicks on a UV lamp mounted to the roof
>thaaat's the stuff
No.716272
>>716270
>oof
>[muffled slightly disgruntled Mini noises]
So heavy...
No.716273
>>716270
That hooded Archer has a strange idea of comedy.
>tosses it away
>it's k bae swordhusband knows
>>716271
>she talks like she's from Bristol
>I don't like Bristol
Waiting the gender-swapped blackened version of myself to come down the chimney and scream at everyone in the near vicinity.
But how is yours?
No.716274
File: 1451014218823.jpg (164.5 KB, 343x800, 343:800, 1d64252f2b12ab325c0b349dbc….jpg)
>>716272
It's the one magecraft allowed to me. I'm not so easily beaten either.
>squish
>>716273
Hooded Archer... never met'em.
No.716275
>>716274
No way, magecraft strong enough to beat a Servant...?
>squirms
>I can't move
>FLASHBAAAAAAAAAAAACK
>CHAINS OF HEAVEN NO
No.716276
That Illya girly's sure merry...
>adjusting his new scrunchie
>looking at it in the mirror
>big grin
Hahaha! Not bad!
No.716277
File: 1451014521242.png (172.24 KB, 500x689, 500:689, tumblr_ndg49woEml1trqwpao1….png)
>>716274
He's...something.
>
And here you'd just finished telling me how cold it is.
>holds a censor bar over the nips
>>716276
Celebrating early, Lancer?
I'm a little surprised you were invited to be with the Einzberns so easily.
>and how come she didn't get me anything
No.716278
>>716275
Never underestimate the power of a human, of the perfect thighs.
Hmph.
>>716276
>that
>actually looks nice on him
>...do I share more of my pocky
>>716277
>slaps her jacket back on
That wasn't the "present".
No.716279
>>716273
Blackened from the chimi-nee, or just 'cause they're evil?
Great! S'actually my first one. We sang songs to people at their doors, and only a few of them got angry!
No.716280
>>716278
>takes a convenient sip of cranberry juice
>spills enough to make it look like he's coughing blood
Ah...this campaign sure has been something.
>leans on head on a melon
I see now, the sound of Okeanus' waves...it was really the beating of the human heart the whole time.
No.716281
>Walks through the door wearing this outrageous outfit.
>The things I do. Wait, I need to be happy because it's Christmas.
Um...... Merry Christmas.
No.716282
>>716278
You know it makes me itch when you make the quotation marks so audible.
>>716279
Actually it's...a long story.
>?
Now why would they get angry. You seem a perfectly upstanding young plant woman.
No.716283
File: 1451015208009.jpg (126.69 KB, 600x839, 600:839, 353d661a38ce23faeb4030af1e….jpg)
>>716280
>cranberry stains on her cheongsam
...
...
...
This is why I researched a maid.
>>716282
Wait 'til you see what Alter actually got me. Then you can talk about itching.
No.716284
>>716283
Woops, sorry about that!
That thing was too white anyway, now it looks like it's been worn!
>
Gah, maids. Who needs' em.
No.716285
>>716283
You mean she actually bought clothes?
>wait
You trusted her with money?
No.716286
>>716281
>Santa?
>holy COW
>aaah was I good this year I mean I've only been alive for a few days but still
>>716282
Well golly~
>covers her cheeks
I dunno. They kept talkin' about privileges and other things. I don't even know what a Hah-noo-kah is. Buncha sticks in a mud...
No.716287
File: 1451015581198.png (118.43 KB, 500x511, 500:511, tumblr_m6vs4mYP2a1rpznqgo1….png)
>>716284
What a brat... if you weren't so goddamned cute and had a curse on that face of yours as strong as that Lancer's, I'd...
>guh
>settles for squishing his pelvis
>>716285
"Trusted with money", "forgot to watch my wallet at all times", same thing.
No.716288
>>716277
Didn't you know? That red Archer got invited, so I tagged with to see what was up.
>by tagged with he means he snuck onto the grounds and got caught by Hercules
>>716278
Must be fun having a servant being Santa, eh?
No.716289
File: 1451015828321.jpg (264.86 KB, 700x594, 350:297, 181640a8f76cd15a27530ad071….jpg)
>>716286
I know the type.
>tfw country taken over by pagans
>tfw Christmas is a bastardization of their tradition
>put the God back in...something
I think they're actually sticks you set on fire, but that's probably neither here nor there.
You wouldn't happen to be fae, would you?
>>716287
I'd lecture but then I remembered I'm no good at those anymore.
>reaches under his neck guard
>new wallet obtained
>>716288
You tagged with the person you really can't stand?
Lancer you should have said something if you're were that suicidally bored.
>grins
I'm glad everything turned out well, at least.
No.716290
>>716287
>squeaks
>Endurance: A tho fam
Curse? I dunno what you mean?
>!
Hey hey, if you keep sitting on me then neither of us will get to celebrate!
No.716291
File: 1451015983601.jpg (252.3 KB, 882x800, 441:400, a7adbb11c2beb2614009a5f1fc….jpg)
>>716286
>Oh it's that plant again.
>I wonder if they even celebrate Christmas.
Hello there, what did you ask for this Christmas?
No.716292
File: 1451016044944.jpg (126.69 KB, 600x839, 600:839, 353d661a38ce23faeb4030af1e….jpg)
>>716288
You could say that.
>
>oh shit she's actually offering something
I just needed her out of the house for a month so I could get some work done. Making a homunculus took a lot longer than expected.
>>716289
You burned your lecture function out when you went off on Not-Alter.
>
This is getting confusing. There are too many variations of you.
>nicks the wallet
...Yeah, here's a token of my gratitude or whatever.
>uh
>...
You're coming to dinner with me. A real dinner. Wear something nice.
>everything he wears is nice
>immaculate and pressed and-
>aaaaaargh
>>716290
Don't know about you but I feel like I'm celebrating just fine.
>tracing a finger under his chin
No.716293
>>716289
If you heard that dude was getting invited to the Einzbern Manor, you'd be curious too, wouldn't you?
>>716292
>nabs a pocky
You made a homunculus?
No.716294
>>716292
>arches his neck up
>that's the stuff
Ah, really?
>thoughtful
Then that means I'm not celebrating hard enough! A good enough challenge!
>struggling
>struggling
...Maybe later.
No.716295
>>716292
>!
But everything I wear is-
>wait I know that look
It would be my pleasure, I suppose the utensils could use a break from the torture I subject them to on a daily basis.
>gleam~
I hope I know myself well enough to have warned you about all this before, but just in case the sentiment is there again.
>
That means you have to wear something nice too, you know.
>>716293
Not with what I know.
>oh Shirou
>we came as soon as we were sure you were dead
Though there aren't many inhabitants these days, are there.
No.716296
>>716289
I just meant they were borin', but one guy caught a whiff of us and lit a stick on fire. He seemed awful scared.
>headscratch
Naw, I'm Lilly. Don't think I kniw a Fae...
>>716291
>I'll have you know I watched ten Christmas specials to study up on Christmas, thank you very much
I'm actually meetin' Sandy Claws, oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh-
>excited tittering
I jess wanted a ribbon to truss up my pot with...
No.716297
>you know what Christmas needs more of?
>skeletons
No.716298
>>716293
>
Don't just fucking grab it with your monkey paws. Open your mouth.
>Kanno please get your foot off Cu
Alter makes a pigsty out of her living space. My apartment is in shambles. So I made a maid with scraps of notes from the Einzberns.
I didn't like their template so I had to substitute my own. Less magic circuits for more durability.
>>716294
>trace goes down the neck
>guhuhu
You've got a real one-track mind, you know that Rider?
>>716295
You've seen inside my closet.
No.716299
>>716295
Illya, Berzerker, and those two bangin' maids.
>>716298
>lifts her foot off by the big toe
You went and made a maid instead of paying for one...
No.716300
>>716298
>what are we gonna do in the sands of Gadroisia, Kanno
You make it sound like a bad thing!
>heave
>pops out from under
>time for piggyback
>cheesegrin a go go
No.716301
>>716296
It's a pleasure to meet you regardless, Lilly.
And we're happy to have another join the festivities, away from angry mobs.
>name's not the most creative though
>...then again my name means "sword"
>>716298
Then I'll just have to fix that, posthaste.
>patpat
Try not to get in-
>
...too much trouble.
>>716299
Heracles is still around?
The stories I heard about Gilgamesh...
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Merry Christmas, Lancer.
>Arty awaaaay
No.716302
File: 1451017176991.jpg (165.82 KB, 850x616, 425:308, sample-52cde52bf566df16976….jpg)
>>716299
>wobbles off balance for a moment
>steady
>steadyyyy
What about it?
>>716300
>very questionable things
It's neither good nor bad. Certainly somethin-
>oi
>OI
Guh...
>>716301
>jeez
No.716303
File: 1451017317825.jpg (179.66 KB, 850x1201, 850:1201, sample-ad7af9e5263e076699f….jpg)
>>716296
>A big ribbon.
>Disappears from your sight.
>Giant red ribbon get.
>Reappears with it.
Is this what you want?
No.716304
>>716301
Have a good'un, Saber!
>>716302
Seems like a buttload more effort than it's worth to me, but then again I've never made one before.
>ringring
>?
>picks up his phone
Yo.
>!
Really? I'll be there now.
>hangs up
Sorry Kanno, I've finally tracked down that Ruler and I need to go catch her. See you at the party or whatever, yeah?
>darts off
No.716305
>>716301
Buhbye now!
>>716303
>can you feel it
>pure childlike wonder and joy
Eee-yup!
>handles it as tenderly as an egg
Thank you so much, Mr.-
>...
Uh, Ms. Sandy Claws.
No.716306
File: 1451017605250.jpg (85.92 KB, 332x562, 166:281, Fumi_Kanno_appears_in_devi….jpg)
>>716304
Guess so.
...Rider fell asleep on my back, what even is this?
>I need to change
Saber, help me out her-right, he left.
...
>claps twice
No.716307
>>716306
>pop
I will take the boy.
>tugging on Mini until he comes off
Your bath is ready, mistress.
>trots off with Rider in tow
No.716308
>>716307
Like Alter would ever do that.
>follows after meido
No.716309
How's the catapult running, Tager?
>It's a little heavy on my back.
You're engaging the rear supports, right.
>It has rear supports?
>facepalm
No.716310
File: 1451017930233.jpg (125.03 KB, 850x637, 850:637, sample-ec7f6346d8827e0ff5c….jpg)
>>716305
No need to thank me since your smile is the only reward I need.
No.716311
File: 1451018028414.jpg (302.13 KB, 658x709, 658:709, ca110d4c28e5ecd6b06af76436….jpg)
>>716307
>Another maid. Maybe she heard about Flandre.
Excuse me.
>Oh she belongs to Fumi.
No.716312
>sssssip
...
...
...
>goes pale
>immediately doubles over
Guh...
No.716313
File: 1451018244044.jpg (55.93 KB, 850x637, 850:637, sample-a3e9654d6ad309bdab9….jpg)
No.716314
>>716313
J-just give me a minute.
>They said it was blood!
>I knew I was a lightweight, but my head's already spinning...
No.716315
File: 1451018875748.jpg (633.72 KB, 722x1000, 361:500, 3800dc39a97a75663d8ac03155….jpg)
>>716314
>What to do? What to do?
>Kneels down next to you and gently began to pat your back.
You must really hate blood despite being a nightwalker, or was that wine?
No.716316
>>716315
I think Death was pranking me...
>frowns
I have no problem with blood, but I have a very low alcohol tolerance.
No.716317
File: 1451019387281.jpg (104.79 KB, 850x1200, 17:24, sample-5b2cf3557e2a9f8f40d….jpg)
>>716316
Oh..
>Eyes turn a scarlet red color.
I never knew vampires can get intoxicated by drinking alcohol.
No.716318
File: 1451019509963.jpg (112.92 KB, 500x665, 100:133, tumblr_nuv7hu6lQe1t4o82wo1….jpg)
>>716317
I can't speak for everyone.
>why didn't I just use my poison immunity soul
>it's such a pain
No.716319
>>716318
>Tries not to laugh at the thought of you drunk.
>Has a big smile on my face.
H-how have you been?
No.716320
>Silent Night, Holy Night
>it was the evening before, but no Nightmare in sight
>You see she had done it, that Rider in black
>there was a new Santa in town, and that was a fact
>dressed in umber, red, white and mint green
>Excalibur Morgan guaranteeing speedy deliveries
>powered by raw evil, on her path she did not falter
>claiming the title above Nero and Jeanne Alter
>the latter's opposite, with a bright red visage
>providing more than enough light for this Ruler-drawn carriage
>But look! Up in the sky!
>neither bird nor crashing plane
>can sway this dark heroine on her ride
>Christmas has come to stay!
No.716321
File: 1451019935544.png (224.22 KB, 800x353, 800:353, tumblr_n2qud3KSWE1qexfrvo1….png)
>>716319
I've been... alright, mostly.
What about you?
>>716320
What on Earth?
No.716322
>>716321
>calls out from the sleigh
IT'S TOO EARLY FOR INDEPENDENCE DAY REFERENCES, TAKE YOUR GIFT! FROM YOUR KING!
>incoming high velocity boxes
No.716323
>>716321
I've been doing great ever since I got hired. Oh, what would you like for Christmas?
No.716324
>>716322
>Bone Dragon soul go
>cue the sound of shattered bones
Better it than me.
Sheesh...
>>716323
To not die? Does that count?
No.716325
>>716324
>tosses the bag over maybe a bit too close
>hup
>floats down on parachute-dress
A good present is measured by the impact it leaves on the receiver.
>distant mangled rimshot
You. Androgynous man. State what you would like for Christmas!
No.716326
File: 1451020545317.png (3.64 MB, 2316x2556, 193:213, 623d5e349e0e71c6b98201b003….png)
>>716324
No it does not, I believe every living thing does not want to die.
No.716327
>>716325
Uh...
>what do I want
Some brownies would be nice.
>>716326
I'm not too good at asking for things from others, sorry.
No.716328
>>716322
>but didn't Santa already come
>I am so confused
No.716329
>>716326
Faker. Tell Santa what you want for Christmas.
Now!
>>716327
Brownies?
>brownies?
What in the name of-
>oh thanks Grail
Bah, you waste the efforts of the heartfelt on basic chocolate.
>rustles in the bag
>Alter Delivers The Brownies At 9:20
>>716328
>listening to the usurper
>shiggy diggy doo
Plant thing! Christmas wish! Now!
No.716330
>>716329
You.
>>716327
Would blood suffice?
No.716331
>>716329
>yes
>this is nice
>I wonder if Caster likes chocolate
>who am I kidding everyone loves chocolate
There's not much I can ask for.
>>716330
>blood and chocolates
That would more than suffice.
No.716332
>>716330
That is childish and unhelpful.
Everyone knows the more lascivious Santa gets on Christmas, the possibility of being shot goes up exponentially.
And I just got done with Chapmantown.
>>716331
FFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOLL! THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING TO ASK FOR!
>violently munching chicken
Whether it's just socks and underwear, or peace on Earth, people are naturally predisposed to putting ideals and desires on pedestals.
>tosses him a football
So have the consolation prize.
No.716333
>>716332
>this is fine-
>Vlad-nails pop the ball upon catching it
I don't know what I expected.
No.716334
>>716332
>Was worth a shot.
I would like to know if Flandre is alright. That's all I really I would ever want.
>>716331
Very well.
>Disappears only to reappear with a tray which held a glass of blood and a chocolate bar.
No.716335
File: 1451021775166.jpg (162.89 KB, 850x1142, 425:571, sample-96e04f8e6fe90421653….jpg)
>>716333
>Kosher status: not
...Because it's Christmas, I'll help you again, Mister-
>checks her list
>Nice: Some Fuckin' Anime Dracula #201204 Fuck Man I Dunno
>Naughty: All Those Other Draculas I Think
>pink nail file get
Useful gifts are still gifts. Merry Christmas!
>>716334
Flanders?
>digs into the sack
>world almanac get
"...The Flemish Region of Flanders, located between Belgium and Europe..."
This is boring! Flanders is fine!
No.716336
>>716334
Flandre as in Flandre Scarlet?
She's... well, she became increasingly violent. She was here months before, tried to destroy people for fun.
So the Devil put her in time out.
>>716335
>this is nice
>filing the fucking talons down
I really did need this.
No.716337
>>716335
>Face palms.
Not Flanders it's Flandre. Flandre Scarlet.
No.716338
>>716336
......
As in time out I hope that does not mean putting her in another dimension.
No.716339
>>716336
>INTENSE STARING
>
>
>
>internally approves
Santa asks that you only spread the feelings I have helped instill in you.
Unless they're bad or blasphemous, then keep that to yourself.
>>716337
>holding a whoopie cushion with Ned Flanders' face on it
>honk
>"Hi diddly-ho, neighborino!"
>...?
What.
No.716340
File: 1451022080069.jpg (689.46 KB, 1000x841, 1000:841, tumblr_mqzxkqWNtm1s97aado1….jpg)
>>716338
You can ask him yourself, he shows up sometimes.
>>716339
>man iunno what you're on about I'm just a fuckin' Dracula or some shit I think iunno mang
Uh...
No.716341
>>716340
Good! Santa would hate to have to "whack a bitch" as the locals put it on the birthday of our savior.
>looks out the window dreamily
Coca-Cola...~
No.716342
>>716340
Do you happen to have a picture of him?
>>716339
>Does she have a mental disability?
>I feel like I am dealing with a autistic child.
>I want to break her arms.
No that's not what I mean.
>Calm down. This is nothing to get worked up about.
No.716343
File: 1451022426040.jpg (40.52 KB, 720x511, 720:511, tumblr_naqegwEv6O1s8r0dfo2….jpg)
>dislodging presents from Tager's chest
Goddamn.
No.716344
File: 1451022499924.jpg (74.39 KB, 600x655, 120:131, tumblr_nw001fMGQ81tlxyz3o6….jpg)
>>716341
And now I want a Coke.
>all this product placement
>>716342
Sorry, I don't.
No.716345
>>716342
Santa doesn't rest until everyone has a present under their tree.
>uh
>just hands her the whoopie cushion anyway
That being said, they don't have to like it!
>>716343
>tosses a crowbar and WD-40
MERRY CHRISTMAS
>>716344
Don't be greedy, there are starving children in Africa.
>
And here.
>
And everywhere except Antarctica, I'm told.
>hands a stocking
>there's a Coke in dere
No.716346
File: 1451022909877.jpg (302.13 KB, 658x709, 658:709, ca110d4c28e5ecd6b06af76436….jpg)
>>716345
>Takes the gift.
>Force smile.
Thanks Santa...... I'll be sure to treasure this.
>>716344
That's alright.
>Hands you the chocolate bar and the glass of blood.
Merry Christmas.
No.716347
>>716345
>
For once someone's fucking useful. That's new.
>heeeeeave
>present: removed
>Tager now has a giant box shaped hole in his chest
No.716348
>>716345
>sweeeeet
And with that I take my leave.
>>716346
>oh jeez
Lots of stuff for the road. Thanks ladies, but I've got a present to deliver myself.
>mist form
>gone
No.716349
>>716346
And now you've learned that for all Santa's power, she's just one man.
>
Woman.
Ideals can't be handed down like candy canes. Do things yourself!
>>716347
So that's where my 400 pounds of scrap metal went.
>that old Jewish man will be so happy
Santa is always useful!
>>716348
...Hmph.
>kicks the sack
MUSIC!
>muffled guttural singing from inside
No.716350
>>716349
Why the fuck're you tiny and a girl again.
No.716351
File: 1451023515846.jpg (183.77 KB, 800x1131, 800:1131, 5c3b2135380e6b086d1bf9d0db….jpg)
>>716350
>twitch
FFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOO-
>turns around
>
>looks up
>up
>u-there
Oh. It's you.
Submit yourself to the judgment of Santa!
No.716353
>>716352
What's a Santa?
What's a Santa?
>...what is a Santa
What kind of godless heathens would ever let this happen.
Luckily for you, Santa is more forgiving than God.
>looks at her list
If you've been nice all year, you get pretty much anything you desire barring tax prices and how backed up Amazon is.
If you're naughty you get black rocks!
No.716354
>>716353
Coal?
>coal burns
>I could use coal
>...I must be bad
No.716355
>>716354
Coal!
>Guts: naughty
>pulls a slot machine arm extending from the sack
>[coal][coal][coal]
>COAL
No.716356
File: 1451024114678.jpg (339.74 KB, 722x794, 361:397, dec4c911b8aa99464c10c2e14f….jpg)
>>716355
>I am entirely okay with this
>coal tucked away in a pouch
You're not Saber?
No.716357
>>716356
Saber was an archaic fossil, and didn't have this stylish hat.
I am the ideals, the past transformed!
I am RIDER
>floating an inch off the ground
No.716358
File: 1451024412747.jpg (321.85 KB, 794x1200, 397:600, tumblr_n8m8r7w3Bk1rtuqolo1….jpg)
>>716357
>okay
>still craning his neck pretty hard to even look at her
Why.
No.716359
File: 1451024458601.jpg (144.03 KB, 850x602, 425:301, sample-01fef4cf598de44c414….jpg)
>>716358
Because Santa can't be a Saber.
That would be stupid.
No.716360
File: 1451024867657.png (585.78 KB, 500x552, 125:138, tumblr_naj58aE6A61rz06hho1….png)
No.716361
>>716360
Hmph.
>pops a squat on the sack
You can fix your presence on the list and yourself by doing good unto others.
Or at least not doing any Hitler-y stuff.
No.716362
File: 1451025253677.jpg (73.94 KB, 540x787, 540:787, 15e47bff0b4c77f25f85ef7c72….jpg)
No.716363
>>716362
>contradiction
>contradiction
>uh
...
>scarf dat chikkun
No.716364
>>716363
>jeez
You're dying.
No.716365
>>716364
Dying?
>this guy
I can see where one might make that mistake.
But as you can clearly see, this chicken can't give me a heart attack because I'm already a ghost.
No.716366
>>716365
>patpat
Chew first.
No.716367
File: 1451025943091.jpg (108.82 KB, 526x1000, 263:500, b353a7065151d12fc3f9ef9981….jpg)
>>716366
>
>
>
FOOL, DON'T DEIGN TO COMMAND SANTA
No.716368
File: 1451026073683.jpg (187.57 KB, 850x691, 850:691, sample-3d6b5d4815df88760ad….jpg)
>>716367
You're too loud.
>stuff the drumstick
No.716369
File: 1451026308509.jpg (217.49 KB, 850x1047, 850:1047, sample-3a1e815a37427f85a53….jpg)
>>716368
>gmmph!
>gulp
>I think I just got a little wet holy shit
YOU HAVE NO RIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!
>leaps back
CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT GIVING, AND ALSO TAKING. THERE IS NO FORCE INVOLVED UNLESS IT IS ON THE PART OF THE KING.
>adjusts her hat
PEACE ON EARTH
>hops on the sack
>zooms off
No.716370
File: 1451026389814.png (243.24 KB, 800x265, 160:53, tumblr_n0qub8s0Bi1qlgf30o4….png)
>>716369
>...
>...
>...
What the hell...
No.716371
>man
>why can't we just bully Drake
>damn brat
No.716372
File: 1451032356512.jpg (295.16 KB, 550x779, 550:779, 0ba7518aa1d11e683b4a6904aa….jpg)
>>716371
>why is that guy ganging up on somebody else with a child
No.716373
>>716372
>fun fun fun
>Drake runs off crying
Always a good time.
>
>who the fuck is this fag
>why the hell is half his hat gone
No.716374
File: 1451032565747.png (269.07 KB, 485x600, 97:120, a4801d4911ffb153c1ebd32505….png)
>>716373
>who's this guy
>why is his hair white
>why are his clothes not fabulous
...
No.716375
>>716374
>is that a shirt belt
>what
So did you miss a chance to star as Ricky Martin's lover or is there a story I'm missing here.
No.716376
>>716375
>...
>...
Not one that matters.
No.716380
File: 1451033215218.png (538.44 KB, 600x836, 150:209, a11c340f224f317840b6a524f2….png)
>>716379
>
>oh
>what the hell
Good grief...
No.716381
>>716380
Where the hell is the back on this thing...
>flipping it around
Either you have the world's stickiest scalp or I'm about to check if you're a Skrull.
No.716382
File: 1451033398485.jpg (771.38 KB, 685x1276, 685:1276, b94c7971ac532d97f92aad577c….jpg)
>>716381
>he already has the hat back on
>nyooom
It's just a hat.
More importantly...you trying to start something.
No.716383
>>716382
Shhh. Or, y'know, don't shhh. Just making sure you're not a bodysnatching alien.
>aaaaaaAAAAAAATATATATATATATA
>prodding at pressure points that Skrulls don't have
>Dragon Style Kung Fu baybee
No.716384
File: 1451033695225.jpg (69.35 KB, 500x493, 500:493, tumblr_nsekyhN4PN1qjzwqeo1….jpg)
>>716383
>make that Star Plat's fist over and over
>quick pokin me I'm ticklish
...
No.716385
>>716384
>No reaction.
Welp.
>click
Welcome to the rice fields, motherfucker.
No.716386
>>716385
>was that supposed to be racist
>my eyes are green fook's sake
That's not the best idea.
No.716387
File: 1451033989809.png (269.69 KB, 800x883, 800:883, tumblr_nkujfqgNxV1qaxy2fo1….png)
>>716386
>
>
>
>what if he's just soft in the head, Jay
Did you even feel any of that just now?
>studyan facial expression
>Detective mode
No.716388
File: 1451034135676.png (302.88 KB, 438x750, 73:125, tumblr_nyeki8z1zv1sgm1uho1….png)
>>716387
Nope.
Maybe you need to poke harder next time.
>guy pulling a gun out on a stranger
>who's really soft in the head
>...
>stopping two bullets should be easy
>it'd be better if I could incapacitate one
>or him
No.716389
>>716388
>Skrulls never go after civvies. Something's up.
>Time for a bluff.
>holsters the guns
Ten seconds.
No.716390
File: 1451034384816.jpg (567.38 KB, 682x1017, 682:1017, f747a27474832dfc8c3ce029be….jpg)
>>716389
>...
>ten seconds
>ten seconds until what
>from what else he was carrying, probably an explosion
>who even is this guy
Only need five.
>I'll stop time right at the .5 seconds mark, just to be sure
>have to keep a close count
No.716391
>>716390
In ten seconds, your heart will explode. Ancient martial art.
No.716392
File: 1451034789904.gif (1004.35 KB, 500x281, 500:281, 4438256-ia8l0hh_zpspzqpzvb….gif)
>>716391
>there's no way
>even if all those taps did somehow transfer from Star Platinum, he only hit its gloves
In ten seconds my heart won't explode.
>POINT
But in five, you'll be a heap.
No.716393
>>716392
>If it doesn't explode, means he's human at least.
>Guy looks like he can pack a wallop.
Yeah? Let's make it interesting then.
No.716394
>>716393
>PRATINUM
>clink clink clink clink
>ORA
>GUTPUNCH
No.716395
>>716394
>and launched
>Not-Avalon go
>
Ow.
>sits up
>Psychic?
No.716396
>>716395
>he got up pretty fast...
So maybe you're not a heap.
No.716397
>>716396
Had worse.
>scratches his chin
Time's up. Since you're not dead, either you covered your pressure points with something or you're human after all.
Try not to confuse a guy like that, huh?
No.716398
File: 1451035824698.jpg (119.36 KB, 850x846, 425:423, sample-e0e92e89dae6c38d368….jpg)
>>716397
>shrug
Next time don't take my hat.
>offers a hand up
Kinda thought you were just punching randomly.
No.716399
>>716398
Alien physiology's weird, course it looked random.
>wipes some blood off his mouth from the ruptured internals and hops up on his own
Thought I saw a phantom fist hit me.
>A ghost, maybe.
>Fuck me I'm the kid from the Sixth Sense. And Bruce Willis. At the same time.
No.716400
File: 1451036080557.png (926.34 KB, 800x968, 100:121, 5c19c8f2ce22031e9309ae7bb2….png)
>>716399
>
>well then
>tucks the hand back in his pocket
Good grief...
>aliens?
>definite nutcase
Maybe the mask is getting in the way.
No.716401
>>716400
>I know that look. That's the "you're fucking crazy" look.
>He's not wrong, I guess.
Shoulda guessed something was off, Skrulls don't go for people unless they're important.
You're not actually some really eccentric world leader or something are you.
No.716402
>>716401
>this guy
Nope.
>mental note: find out what a Skrull is
Done babbling?
>maybe it's time for a test
>manifests Star Plat's face as far out as he can
>about to Jay's level
No.716403
>>716401
>instant reaction: punch in face
>under the gloves are Nth metal knuckledusters
>taste fist, ghostface!
Word of warning first, what the fuck guy?
No.716404
File: 1451036712669.jpg (356.2 KB, 744x1053, 248:351, 86f053b1d80c25b35c13c7a966….jpg)
>>716403
>decent scrape shows up on tism-kun's face
...
>only Stand users can see Stands mentality in full swing
>that guy had an Arrow
>what the hell is he trying to do here
Good grief...
No.716405
>>716404
>why is-
You're possessed?
>
This is gonna sound stupid and crazy, 'cause really it is, but I've already died before. Ghosts and shit like that are a common enough sight for me.
No.716406
File: 1451037060001.jpg (571.5 KB, 631x934, 631:934, tumblr_ns0g7pgl7x1qkrdteo1….jpg)
>>716405
So you can see it.
>SP in full view now
...
No. Not that crazy.
>it's seriously crazy
Changes everything I know, though.
No.716407
>>716406
>that is one swole ghost
No wonder that punch nicked you. Must be some kind of connection.
>shrugs
We got a saying in this country, "you learn something new every day."
No.716408
File: 1451037319202.jpg (69.35 KB, 500x493, 500:493, tumblr_nsekyhN4PN1qjzwqeo1….jpg)
>>716407
Who the hell told you that was only in America.
>wipes the blood away
>...
Guess I can tell you.
Only people who have these things can see 'em. Usually.
But you can too.
No.716409
>>716408
Sure as hell sounded like you don't have it back home.
>
Oh, you're one of those "Stand" guys.
...You know the asshat vampire dude, right?
The knife thing got annoying.
No.716410
File: 1451037611019.png (163.08 KB, 500x265, 100:53, tumblr_nqoz08mpWL1qmiyy8o1….png)
>>716409
Dio.
>DIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>wait
How do you know about that.
No.716411
>>716410
Been on the receiving end.
No.716412
File: 1451037757184.jpg (283.43 KB, 850x1172, 425:586, sample-7f43202dc99dc08de10….jpg)
>>716411
Before that.
>would Dio be the kind of guy to tell somebody about Stands before killing them for fun?
>maybe
>this guy's no pushover either
Anybody else.
No.716413
>>716412
The guy fucking gloated about it thinking I was dead.
Helps to already not have a pulse, I guess. The rest I pieced from that Josuke kid.
Good guy, that one.
No.716414
File: 1451037944363.jpg (80.29 KB, 500x707, 500:707, tumblr_no0uklzHMi1qjzwqeo1….jpg)
>>716413
>hwat
Josuke was here?
>maybe he knew Dio was back before any of us
>...haven't heard from him in a while
Kid's my uncle. Long story.
Where'd he go.
No.716415
>>716414
>uncle
>but-
>y'know what fuck it
Left with his friend with the money signs on'im. Long while ago.
No.716416
>>716415
>shit
>double shit
>all kinds of shit
Yare yare...
>at least he's with Okuyasu
>...that's not good at all
Well.
Thanks.
>walks out
No.716417
>>716416
What a day...
>lifts his shirt
>body armor dented inwards
Guy's ghost punches like a freight train...