No.726826
>And the man in the back said everyone attack
>And it turned into a ballroom blitz
>And the girl in the corner said boy I want to warn you
>It'll turn into a ballroom blitz
No.726827
Swear off quitting, hang out in a bar. Good going Todd, what am I, Thompson?
>
Nah. Not even gonna touch that can of worms.
No.726828
>>726827
Temptation's a bitch, isn't it.
No.726829
>>726828
What is this, Cosmic-Fuck-With-Jason Hour?
No.726830
>>726829
Hey, hey. Calm down there, son.
Tough times, aren't they? And there you go, pushing your friends away except for Moon Knight.
What's that say about you, Todd old boy.
No.726831
>>726830
Oops. Forgot the perception filter.
No.726832
>>726830
Are you... you're on my case about Revy? Don't you got bigger Outer God things to do?
>
I'm in the market for a divine favor. Got a delusional special snowflake vampire who needs to bite it.
What can I do for you to facilitate some fuckery going on.
No.726833
>>726832
Deals with the Devil after sass. I can see why Death loves you, boy.
Alright, you want that Izayoi thing gone. Easy. All you gotta do is stir some chaos in my name.
No.726834
>>726833
How much chaos we talkin'.
No.726835
>>726834
How bad do you want it?
No.726836
>>726835
...
...
...
Forget it. You're gonna want me to kill indiscriminately.
No.726837
File: 1452611130664.jpg (69.34 KB, 641x1000, 641:1000, bc7cd9aa00f7ebd3a5bf9b868e….jpg)
>>726836
Smart brat. Better the Devil you know than the Devil you don't.
I'll get you all yet...
>gone
No.726838
>>726837
That guy...
>Carbonadium bullet to disable the regeneration, then .45 hollowpoints made of blessed silver and filled with holy water, wolfsbane and white oak splinters.
I don't even need the power ring, just gotta catch her unawares or in her stupid tanky bullshit.
No.726839
>>726838
So you're hunting the time stopping vampire... I suppose I have little choice.
Let me help. I'm the hunter who killed everyone else she knew. It's only fair I send her to Hell to meet them in the afterlife.
No.726840
>>726839
Yeah? You can do it then. Honestly I'm too fucking busy to be dedicating this much brainpower on one undying ant.
No.726841
File: 1452611561809.jpg (66.41 KB, 493x750, 493:750, tumblr_lvtc7lK49P1qkih2oo6….jpg)
>>726840
So be it.
>Omnia Vanitas awaaay
No.726842
File: 1452611642645.gif (717.66 KB, 500x281, 500:281, tumblr_n5d1d5OsX01ry576bo2….gif)
No.726843
>>726842
You look troubled, Lancer.
No.726844
File: 1452611811202.gif (472.34 KB, 500x281, 500:281, tumblr_n5d1d5OsX01ry576bo1….gif)
>>726843
Y'know they're planning to kill your Master, right?
No.726845
>>726844
She is too depressed to care. I can no longer provide her with any comfort and she seems, foolishly I may add, convinced that she can simply toss me aside to someone else before she dies.
I can no longer abide that woman.
No.726846
>>726840
If you're going to kill me I would suggest you do it now.
No.726847
>>726845
Yare yare... how cold. Guess that's that for you, huh.
No.726848
>>726846
Outta my hands, get outta my sight.
No.726849
>>726846
Your arm, it's different. What happened to the one with command spells on it?
>...
You had it blown off.
It seems our contract is null and void then.
>>726847
As it were, the decision was once again made for me without my consultation...
No.726850
>>726849
Oi, at least you weren't commanded to kill yourself. Then again that's a Lancer Luck thing.
No.726851
>>726848
That's a shame that the hood goes back on his words.
>>726849
I already know that. I am sorry that you had to deal with such an imperfect master.
No.726852
>>726851
>grin level: twisted
Wanna know where your precious girlfriend is?
Hell. Along with everyone else.
See, when I bit it, I went down to Death's, and it was empty. Death's is never empty. Then who do I see taking some trillion year milk outta her fridge? Satan.
Sucks to know, huh.
No.726853
Another bar out here? I wonder who owns this one.
>>726839
But how can you hunt something with that much power? To what extent can she stop time?
No.726854
>>726850
Gkkt... I'm very sorry about the way you lot tend to go.
>>726851
It was doomed from the start, with your deathwish.
Why did you get my hopes up only to crush them like this?
Did you... want to watch me suffer? Cry, maybe?
No.726855
>>726853
>he just kinda left earlier
>but he forgot to pay for his drink so he's back
Hmm?
No.726856
>>726855
>He realizes you're still here
Oh I was just wondering how you could beat a person who stops time.
That and you didnt give the bartender a tip.
No.726857
>>726854
Celt Lancers, not even once. I swear people just wait for the last possible second to command us to die. It's horrible.
No.726858
>>726856
I destroy legions of the damned and armies of the undead for a living. One vampire won't make me break a sweat, no matter what their skills.
>
I noticed. I went to go get my wallet.
No.726859
>>726852
I.....I've expected as much.
>>726854
No..... god no.
No.726860
>>726859
And with that, I've already done better than just killing you.
Knowing you're that hard to kill just means you'll never see them again no matter what you do. And that's real punishment.
No.726861
>>726858
That's a very impressive track record sir.
>even with that same expression of his you've got the feeling he's going to make sure you give that bartender some money.
No.726862
>>726859
I have bled and wept for one Master too many.
I don't think I even have any tears leftover for you.
Neither does Hyde, though there's nothing on this Earth that could make that monster cry.
No.726863
>>726861
>he's already left a hefty tip
>Belmonts are stacked, yo
>>726860
That's rather cruel, don't you think.
...Then again I suppose that's what you're aiming for.
>exit: front door
No.726864
>>726863
You wont be attempting to kill me will you?
>he puts it in the tip jar and hides the jar. You never know who will steal it here, but someone inevitably will.
No.726865
>>726862
I don't deserve anyone's tears or happiness. I don't want to remembered by anyone since that would simply be a waste.
>>726860
I hope that makes you happy.
No.726866
>>726865
You should have thought about that before you made the contract, before you shared mana with me.
I am... utterly astounded by your crippling selfishness.
I will fade to nothing but dust in approximately a week. Though I lack Independent Action, my form consumes next to no mana from my reserves.
Please, stay away from me until I fade.
You've caused me more distress than any previous Master.
No.726867
>>726865
Y'know what'd be icing on the cake? If you left me alone.
I don't care if you chill with Marc, but I want as little to do with you as I do with the cosmic god assholes who show up to make everything worse for everyone.
By the way, same goes for Revy. Sick of your shit, maid. Sick of your shit.
No.726869
>>726867
.... I don't see why you don't just kill me then like Revy did. It would be a lot easier if you did that than just leave me be. You won't have to see me anymore nor, you'll have to deal with me anymore.
No.726870
>>726869
Because then you'd get what you want. And why on God's earth would I give someone who I dislike what they want?
No.726871
>>726870
What's better? Letting someone continue living which will then allow them to potentially find something that will give them the courage to throw away their foolish ideas of death, or killing them making sure that you'll never see their face again.
No.726872
>>726871
Look at you, panicking already, realizing your options are becoming more and more limited.
Trying to rationalize with me to convince me killing you's better.
You have nothing. I'll content myself with that knowledge.
No.726873
>>726872
>>726871
Well many people panic at the realization of their death Mr Todd. Its only natural for her to.
In my opinion it'd be better to let you go. Any chance of you betraying him is also a chance of potential help.
No.726874
>>726873
Bzzzzzt. Wrong. She ain't panicking at the realization of dying, she's panicking 'cause she can't die so she'll never see her loved ones again.
Also mind your own fucking business before I sock you for being a discount Death rolled with a discount Lucifer.
No.726875
>>726874
That kind of reasoning is because of her fear. She can always see her loved ones. If she dies and ends up in the void, she'l find nothing but her own misery.
That or I am getting horribly rusty at this. Which frightens me.
And I never would give myself such a title. I am only an arbiter.
No.726876
File: 1452617161878.jpg (63.58 KB, 736x346, 368:173, 5f6dafcf0eb9ca803e864e9510….jpg)
>>726875
We talked about this: you're a taxi service so Big Sis has less walking to do. And that void shit is Lucifer's gig. He's probably gonna unmake you at the conceptual level if you keep stepping on his toes.
No.726877
>>726876
I merely send people to the void or to be reincarnated. I never said I own it. I was just describing what normally happens to people who have been sent there, from what I've seen. Perhaps this place is different and thus has a different land that lucifer owns, it wont concern me. Hell, void its all the same idea with different methods.
No.726878
>>726877
S'what I'm saying, Dense-im.
Chrissakes... I'll just let Lucy sort you out, you're really giving me a headache and I don't fucking need it from you, the maid, or anyone right now.
No.726879
>>726878
Im sorry, I've just learnt after seeing guts. It's very easy for people here to mistake something for something else, myself included. For a minute it looked like you thought I had some power hungry grudge against Lucifer.
>he pours himself a drink since you never want any
Though Who is Lucy if you dont mind me asking.
No.726880
>>726879
...No. No you can't be this inept. Holy shit. I have to spell it out for you?
>rubbing his temples
Lucy. Lucifer. Come on. It's not hard to infer, use your brain.
You've got a brain in that head of yours, right?
No.726881
>>726880
You use a girl's name for him?! How have you not been tortured yet?!
Unless Lucifer really is a woman but even then I dont think she would be the kind of person to take a joke. Lucifer has sent people to hell for far smaller reasons, according to christian mythos anyway.
No.726882
>>726881
>
>
>
I want to maim you.
No.726883
>>726882
>calms himself still not being able to understand how the fuck you are still alive.
You wouldent be the first to take their anger out on me.
No.726884
>>726883
>Jason Todd: professional motherfucker
It's less anger and more outright confusion and frustration.
You know you already met Lucy, right. Blonde, hair looks like David Bowie, unreasonably cryptic, talked about being a bartender?
Yeah. That was the Devil.
No.726885
File: 1452618924353.png (92.55 KB, 500x249, 500:249, 4669182-tumblr_nmhzf1yf931….png)
>as someone who barely talks
>i can very well say that this is one of the worst conversations I've ever had the mispleasure to watch
>this is why I don't do the talking
No.726886
>>726885
>Cass help
>my brain is screaming "PUNCH HIM" but my fists are saying "I don't want idiot juice on me"
No.726887
>>726886
>shakes her head
>whether it's a "don't do it" or "i'm sorry" is up for interpretation
No.726889
>>726884
Yes but I never assumed you would be so insane enough to call him THAT!
Enough of this. Even my associates knew all I was ever good for was drinks and seriousness.
So with the utmost respect of you own sanity, ethier ask for a drink, or dont let me speak to you again. No matter how bored I get.
>>726885
>For all his grace as a bartender, he is godawful at conversation.
Can I help you? Or better yet can I just serve you a drink?
No.726890
>>726888
>JAY NO
>COME BACK
>YOU STILL NEED TO TELL ME OFF FOR MY TERRIBLE FASHION SENSE
>violent shoulder shaking
>>726889
>no kidding
Water.
No.726891
File: 1452619722555.jpg (63.58 KB, 736x346, 368:173, 5f6dafcf0eb9ca803e864e9510….jpg)
>>726889
Callin' me crazy? Dangerous road there, Dense-im.
I have about as much regard for my own safety and unlife as I do fucks to give about the weather in France.
>>726890
...What the fuck are you wearing? Did Damian put you up to this?
You're helping me apply itching powder to Drake's underwear drawer after Damian's birthday party tonight. Not up for discussion, nonverbal or otherwise.
No.726892
>>726890
Of course.
>he pours you a glass of water swiftly.
You two know each other?
>>726891
No I didnt want you to go crazy- never mind.
>this is going to be one long night.
and please, it's Decim. You dont see me thinking of silly nicknames for you.
No.726893
>>726892
One of us has to be the witty fun one, sure as hell isn't gonna be you. Your jokes make Data from Star Trek groan.
Stupid nicknames are my thing.
>did Cass just fuckin ditch me here
>GODDAMMIT
No.726894
>>726893
Well to answer your previous question. I actually don't have a brain. I am nothing more then a mannequin.
No.726895
>>726894
>[screams internally]
I need to go.
>stumbles out
>the time for maiming scumbags is very yes
No.726896
Sheesh...
>sipping on mineral water
No.726897
>>726895
Have fun with your slaughter Mr Todd. I won't judge you for it.
No.726898
>>726896
You alright there Miss Kanno? Your expressions suggest you want something more alcoholic.
Trying to stay sober?
No.726899
File: 1452620862572.jpg (121.87 KB, 486x600, 81:100, 7f94949fda5cda59b9740533af….jpg)
>>726898
Pregnant. Booze is off the menu.
No.726900
No.726901
>>726899
Oh my. Whose the lucky father?
>and yet somehow he is still saying this seriously.
No.726902
>>726901
Little personal there, don't you think? Jeez.
>>726900
I sense a disturbance in the Force.
No.726903
>>726902
Forgive me miss, I was only curious. Arbiter life can get woefully dull.
>practices shuffling whilst getting you another glass
>>726900
Sir could you kindly deactivate the cloaking field.
No.726904
>Why is it so hard to drink through a straw and not look like a dumbass
>I still haven't gotten around to giving those new troopers an orientation either
>don't tell me everyone in this building is force sensitive
>osi'kyr
No.726905
>>726903
You're not alive. It's a pale mimicry of existence for you.
>>726904
>why is this dumbass drinking through a straw with a helmet on
>what a dumbass
>at least I got a timely reference in
No.726906
>>726905
Yes I know that Fumi, I have always known that.
>>726904
Would you like another drink sir?
No.726907
>>726905
>sure they make it so we don't have to remove our helmets to drink
>that might be useful in a gas attack
>but at what cost
>>726906
>sssip
>does this guy even work here
Brandy, thank you.
No.726908
File: 1452622411490.jpg (54.19 KB, 450x548, 225:274, darth_revan_by_tk421notath….jpg)
>>726904
What do you MEAN you sent the men back you incompetent?
No.726909
>>726906
It almost makes me wonder why. Then I remember I have a homunculus maid.
>>726907
>at least in general the gruntsuits look cool
No.726910
>>726907
>no but Im sure they willl appreciate the free labour and stupid amount of tips they've been getting
One brandy coming up.
>he swiftly puts the filled glass on the counter.
>>726908
Could you at least wait until he's finished drinking before you choke him to death?
>>726909
And what did that maid teach you Fumi? If they are aware of it, constantly reminding them of this cruel fact will inevitably get under their skin.
No.726911
File: 1452622916558.jpg (254.77 KB, 900x1273, 900:1273, tumblr_mzcqusTBzS1rqznbco1….jpg)
>>726910
>not even in the same galaxy
>u wot
Odd...
No.726912
>>726910
"Constantly" sounds a lot like projection, I only mentioned it once.
No.726913
>>726908
>Do you think they'll blame me for that
>No, right, I went back and changed the date on their orders
>All the time in the world now
>>726909
>they could use more pouches though
>Where do they store all the ammo on those uniforms?
>that's not efficient at all
>>726910
>You far underestimate how greedy the people around here are
>I think there was a physical manifestation of it walking around here once
You're looking a little pale there, chief.
No.726914
>>726912
It's been a tiring night. When your job consists of watching people breakdown and not being able to do a single thing to help them, It leaves you stressed.
>>726911
>WHere the hell am I. Why the hell am I stuck between two fixed points in spac-
>ah
>teleporter glitch.
would you kindly reboot that teleporter of yours?
>>726913
>no he's seen enough of humanity's sins to know evil people will do evil things. Doesn't mean he wont try however.
Oh I'm always pale, don't worry about it.
No.726915
>>726913
>clearly they have Bender-like chest compartments
>even the humans
>that can't possibly backfire
>>726914
I fail to see how that's even remotely my problem.
No.726916
File: 1452623477310.jpg (48.72 KB, 500x667, 500:667, tumblr_mbuih8ORmP1r9ci8go1….jpg)
>>726913
I promised that clone more men. This is unacceptable.
>force choking some poor innocent imperial
>>726914
>tuuuuuuuuuuuurn
Begone.
>Force
>PUSH
No.726917
>>726915
It isn't and I was asking you nicely if you could not remind me of it, as much as I have accepted my fate, it still feels demeaning.
>you see him glitch out for a second
stupid quantum physics.
>>726916
Gladly
>ends up at the bar again.
No.726918
>>726917
Oh that was my doing. I needed a guinea pig and you weren't doing anything useful.
Where'd you end up?
No.726919
>>726914
>Is Greed really evil, though?
>I'm not drunk enough for this
>I can't even get drunk enough for this
Genetics? That's a shame. I know how it is.
>>726915
>It makes it a lot easier on the medical staff
>Just open them right up, no cutting involved
>This is a good idea, I should message engineering
>>726916
>I'm sure it's just fine
>Why did we need more men again?
No.726920
>>726919
>Poor lad, I dont think he could understand superstition, just not smile and wave Decim.
Yes.
>>726918
Some wierd space station.
No.726921
>>726920
>
>
>
Well today's starting out great, isn't it.
Where are you from exactly. You don't look or sound like a regular civvie.
No.726922
>sticking band-aids on busted knuckles
...Fuck.
No.726923
>>726921
Planet Earth, Sol solar system, milky way galaxy.
To be specific, I'm tasked with judging the dead. Figuring out where best to put them.
In short I'm like a delivery man for Death.
>>726922
You ok there miss? That was a rough fight.
No.726924
File: 1452626857261.gif (881.69 KB, 500x453, 500:453, tumblr_nb0ag70V8u1shbc9ho1….gif)
>>726923
>tosses a dollar
Drinks. I don't care what kind.
Don't need any of the fuckin' conversation.
No.726925
>>726923
No country, state, postal code?
>typing onto wristpad
How many of you guys are there? I stopped keeping track of all you afterlife deities when there were three or four separate kings of the underworld in the span of a few months.
Much more important things to think about, like paperwork, and requisition forms.
No.726926
>>726924
Good, makes my life a lot easier.
>he looks at you, trying to think what drink you'd want from appearance alone.
Bloody mary it is, Though vodka this time.
>he starts mixing the cocktails before passing them to you in glasses.
>>726925
Well we are like the afterlife's bureaucrats. so considering the multitude of earth religions and beliefs, I'm just going to guess at many for now.
No.726927
>>726926
>this
>is not rum
Fuck it.
>downing glasses at record speed
No.726928
>>726926
Bureaucrats? That mean there's a whole political climate down there, petty squabbles and all?
How incredibly comforting.
>
>slides empty glass down the bar
I hope dying on the other side of the galaxy doesn't put me right back in your guys' hands, no offence.
No.726929
>>726927
>spiced rum in his hand
Dense-im ain't too bright.
>sliiiide it over
No.726930
>>726927
>notices the pirate insignia
I should have known you were the rum type. My apologies.
>He makes the same only switching out vodka for rum
I knew you wanted something that burns the throat but I was't entirely sure about taste.
>>726928
It shoulden't unless you're from earth.
No.726931
File: 1452628149602.gif (1000.86 KB, 540x287, 540:287, tumblr_nj4hwqXHj41rdfsmyo1….gif)
>>726929
Gotta lotta fuckin' nerve, man.
>...
>yee
>ssssip
>>726930
All alcohol burns, asshole. Only thing different is how bad it feels coming out.
>sip
>spittake
YOU MADE A FUCKIN' BLOODY MARY WITH RUM, ARE YOU GODDAMN STUPID OR SOMETHING
No.726932
File: 1452628266646.jpg (547.17 KB, 988x1380, 247:345, 1f69a04612a11e8b1e47d97ad7….jpg)
>bursts inside
Jeanne?! You in here?!
>scanning...
>Jeannes detected: zero
Oi, anyone seen a small blonde girl, 5 foot 2, long ass braid, uh, French?
No.726933
>>726930
Hope you're right about that one.
>retrieves some coinage from a pouch on his pauldron
Give some of that to the actual owners of this place, would you?
>trudges out
No.726934
>>726931
We all have bad nights. Alcohol just makes it worse fer me, you can have my share.
>puff
>>726932
How the hell did you lose her? She's got fuckin' W for Wumbo on her head!
>
Though I guess it's an M, huh.
No.726935
>>726931
>realizes
>WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAT!
>STOP COMPILING MEMORIES AND SERVE DECIM!
>in record world time he makes you four normal glasses of rum and gives you back the dollar.
>>726933
Certainly
>puts it in the tip jar
No.726936
>>726932
What're you yelling about now.
>Jeanne missing
>uh
No.726937
>>726932
>peeks in, roll of duct tape hanging out from her dress
Heeeeeeeeeeere, loverboy!
Sorry, had to use the little martyr's room. You know how it is.
No.726938
File: 1452628573814.jpg (150.31 KB, 700x657, 700:657, 768c7d68d619706b12c4a0a7e3….jpg)
>>726934
I was meeting up with her nearby and she got a fucking phone call, looked at me then ran off!
>texting away
Ah shit, where the hell...
>>726936
Have you seen Jeanne? Little girly ran off without me.
>>726937
>too panicked to notice
Oh thank god there you are. Don't run off withou- what did you just call me?
No.726939
>>726934
...Yeah, whatever.
>grins
Deckin' your shit again'd be just as good.
>>726935
Oh no, you think I want your fuckin' trash after you messed up that bad?
>swipes all the glasses off the bar
Go back to school, fucko!
No.726940
File: 1452628748533.jpg (518.07 KB, 777x1000, 777:1000, 5a3cda44bac38aa07c7bc9f184….jpg)
>>726938
>oh this is too rich
>phone
>uh
>something's buzzing now alright
...Hm? Whatever do you mean?
>haha fuck I should be a fucking actor fork over the Oscar already
No.726941
>>726938
Fuckin' jeez-
>squint at Alter
She ain't all shy anymore.
>>726939
Last time you tried that you couldn't even budge me.
>c h e e k
No.726942
>>726939
>tries to keep calm
I have had no school education. Im not even alive. That wont happen again, Im sorry.
No.726943
File: 1452628824360.jpg (121.87 KB, 486x600, 81:100, 7f94949fda5cda59b9740533af….jpg)
>>726938
>uh
>aw hell, Alter's pulling the idiot over one
>...that is not how the phrase goes
Found'er.
No.726944
File: 1452628981837.jpg (81.74 KB, 850x1098, 425:549, sample_1b3887896ae18a6c943….jpg)
>>726941
You wanna DIE!?
>kicks his stool out from under him
>>726942
Shut. Up.
>hops up on table
>click
'm gettin' really fuckin' tired of this not alive shit. So I'm thinkin' let's find out how not alive you can get.
Go ahead, make my day.
No.726945
>>726944
Little bit. Know what I want more? See if I can embarrass you while sober!
>yanks on one of Rev's legs
Get off the damn table, fuck're you doin'
No.726946
File: 1452629116914.jpg (415.78 KB, 900x663, 300:221, 5815b2db6ccb34618586e3e7e6….jpg)
>>726940
If you needed the bathroom so badly you could have just said so.
>>726941
Eh? Looks kind of normal to me.
>>726943
I guess I'll see you lot down at the park then.
>Wonder where Alter is.
>Cu come on please use your brain
No.726947
>>726944
>even now he's straight faced and monotone
If it helps you, shoot.
But I will not hit back. Not even once.
No.726948
File: 1452629274078.png (400.71 KB, 643x1000, 643:1000, be853cbb0aa35ada149bfc3860….png)
>>726946
>uhh, shit
>what would that pipsqueak do now
>I could go ask but even she can't talk through tape, huh
I-It's...embarrassing.
>nailed it
No.726950
>>726949
>>726947
>>726948
8CHANNNNNNN
No.726951
>>726946
Park? I just got back from taking Mordred, Lancelot, Arthur and Alter to Disney World.
What's going on?
No.726952
File: 1452629437340.jpg (93.67 KB, 850x554, 425:277, sample-0d0bc692b739a2a3b0f….jpg)
>>726945
What the fu-OI!
>boot: planted firmly into skull
>completely loses balance
>CRASH
>>726949
>pops back up
I AIN'T DONE WITH YOU
>BANGBANGBANG
No.726953
>>726952
>boot
>so close
>just one letter off
>kinda backflips off the ground without making impact
>Jaaaaay
You've been bamboozled!
No.726954
File: 1452629746435.png (292.61 KB, 547x731, 547:731, 6b219de66ee2daae9e5dbdd49e….png)
>>726948
Wouldn't have expected much else, honestly. Wanna get a drink? Running around's got me thirsty.
>>726951
Then it looks like that fucking brat gave me the wrong details. Told me to bring Jeanne.
>>726947
Keep.
>knocks on the bar
One for me and something light for the blondie.
No.726955
>>726954
Oh, just a ginger ale for me please.
>this is too easy
>...too easy
>what if this is his plan! I ain't going back to Orleans!
Oh...no park?
>hides an I Rode The Matterhorn pin
No.726956
>>726954
>brat?
Your Master?
>uh
Whatever happened to Medea. We lucked out with the Manaka thing and it got dealt with in a spectacular fashion.
Should be smooth sailing for you lot and I.
No.726957
File: 1452630063524.png (1.74 MB, 1679x967, 1679:967, These threads are pretty g….png)
>>726952
>he flexes his hands,as threads slow down the bullets to the point where they just cut his face
>you see it clearly, He's not bleeding, as if his skin is clay.
Like I said. I have never experienced what it's like to be alive. Yet I am cursed to know your suffering. So please. Dont waste your ammo on such a pointless fight, if you can even call shooting a man who wont hit back that. You will gain nothing from this, Rebecca Lee.
No.726958
>>726953
JaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY
>leaps after, guns blazing
No.726959
>>726958
>just kinda
>standing there
>wew body armor
9mm, babe. It dunnae work.
No.726960
>>726957
>wait hold the fucking phone
>skids to a halt
My name's Revy, asshole. R-E-V-Y.
Maybe you'll remember it better after I shoot it into your fuckin' stomach!
No.726961
File: 1452630285360.png (316.82 KB, 749x850, 749:850, 6df15bf70aba9290e20a3efeaf….png)
>>726955
Ginger ale?
>eyebrow raise
Going away from the usual lemon spritz, huh? I like it.
>
I've got the whole day booked free, we can do whatever.
>>726956
Modred. Kept telling me about how she was gonna ride the Materhorn and needed a photographer.
>thinking
Medea? She's too busy house hunting.
No.726962
>>726961
House hunting...
>
I need a bigger apartment. Arthur and I made a... mistake. Don't wanna go further into it than that.
No.726963
>>726961
So you don't want to use the castle?
No.726964
>>726958
Save your bullets for him, I think you will enjoy it more.
>>726953
>>726960
Oh. I forgot that was a sensitive topic.
I have the capability to compile your memories. Without the help of other arbiters however it's fuzzy and unclear. I know your name, your loved ones, how they died et cetera.
All part of the job.
Oh and you can shoot me if you really want to waste bullets. Seeing how much you love those twin pistols of yours I wouldn't recommend it.
No.726965
>>726961
>this guy's just fucking with me now
>oh I've got something planned alright
I-Idiot, don't make it sound so open-ended.
>reaches for her drink
>minor boob graze
No.726966
File: 1452630660132.jpg (48.75 KB, 366x500, 183:250, 5550d86d479ed72cae4e7af4fa….jpg)
>>726963
It's not that I don't like it, dear, it's just much too rowdy for one such as I. I can't cook experiment properly with those... minions of yours running around.
No.726967
>>726966
It's the maids, isn't it.
I thought you'd like the little butler boy with the strings.
No.726968
>>726959
>running start
Try this!
>leap
>aaaaaaaaaand
>kick to the face
>>726964
>rrrRRRRRRR
You just call me sensitive you fuckin' piece of shit!
>grabs by the tie
>gun: to temple
So let's get it all out in the open! But I swear to fucking god if you open your mouth again I'm gonna keep shooting until you fuckin' shut up.
Let's go, cowboy!
No.726969
>>726968
Woah--
>
Goddammit!
>rubbing his jaw
>
Oi. Wait. He's right, your guns won't do jack shit.
>takes his left glove off
>and tosses her some natty Nth metal knucks
Remember these?
No.726970
>>726962
For real? Well I don't know any real estate.
>Well there's Dun Scaith but I reaaaaaaally don't want anyone there without me.
>>726965
What's with this Tohsaka reaction? You know I don't mean it like that, Jeanne.
>moves the arm away a little
>trying to pretend nothing happened
No.726971
>>726970
>m i d d l e o f n o w h e r e
We're looking. Just thought it was a coincidence.
No.726972
File: 1452631162331.png (429.79 KB, 700x954, 350:477, 5b8536d3727246219796803d3d….png)
>>726967
I will not tolerate him messing around with my potions and elixirs!
>angry ear wiggling
No.726973
>>726968
>he merely stands there silent
>he's not going to fight you, whether you like it or not.
No.726974
File: 1452631284834.png (400.71 KB, 643x1000, 643:1000, be853cbb0aa35ada149bfc3860….png)
>>726970
>My precious holy virgin, try to remember some of the basics of JEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNE
>yeah, thanks Gilles
You don't?
>trying not to sound disappointed
>coughs into her hand
>whispering
By this Command Spell, I command the Servant Cu Chulainn to have a really lewd daydream.
No.726975
>>726972
>so... cute...!
Of course, of course!
No.726976
>>726971
I know Tamamo lets people stay at her temple if they need it but I doubt it'd be any bigger than your place.
>>726974
Yeah of course I don't, you made me promise, remember?
>stares suspiciously
>taking a sip of his drink
>[wandering eyes]
>loud BANG from the toilet
Huh?
No.726977
this piss water sucks ass!
No.726978
>>726976
I really appreciate all the help you've given me, Lancer. We'll find an okay place.
Four Servants... I should've thought about space. Now with this little-uh. Nevermind.
No.726979
>>726969
>eyes light up
Yeah, I remember 'em.
>slips the knucks on
I ain't done with you, so try not to hemorrhage out.
>>726973
>fist curled
>and Nth metal knuckledusters
>Nth metal hurts ghosts and ghost accessories
SHUT
>WHAM
THE FUCK
>WHAM
UP
No.726980
>>726976
>oh my fuck are these two really that far along
>that
>is
>precious
>too distracted to notice the banging
Huh?
No.726981
>>726976
>appears over the counter
>shrug
Dinnae look at me, I'm jest a fantasy.
No.726982
>>726979
>puff
Ha. Hemorrhage, she says.
>he's already healed
No.726983
File: 1452631983844.png (218.54 KB, 500x707, 500:707, 9026a8e800be528d99bbc957a3….png)
>>726978
Little? Something the problem? When it comes to you I know nothing is ever little.
>>726980
>BANG
There it is again. Wait here, I'm gonna go take a look.
>and hopefully find something gross enough to drop this boner
>>726981
>yup definitely need to see some shit
>in more ways than one
No.726984
>>726977
>Currently at gunpoint.
If I do get out of this, what drink would you like Carnage?
>>726979
>youre implying it did not hurt him the first time. also you dont even need fancy magic gaunlets
>He takes the hit, part of his face gone revealing the manniquin that he is. But hes still staying silent.
>even now he's not going to fight.
No.726985
File: 1452632122927.jpg (85.92 KB, 332x562, 166:281, Fumi_Kanno_appears_in_devi….jpg)
>>726983
>uh
>uh
I kind of did the impossible and now there's a Demi-Servant gestating in me.
No.726986
>>726984
see if ya had better drinks this wouldn't be happening
No.726987
>>726982
>that's nice
>REVY SMASH
>>726984
>what's that
>I can't hear over the ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA
>getting tired after knocking most of his face off
Fuckin'...
>spits on him
No.726988
>>726987
>low whistle
Felt good, huh.
No.726990
>>726983
>...
Aw hell.
>shrugs
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
>spreads her legs out on the stool like a dude
No.726991
>>726987
>>726986
>he just lies there, drinking, whilst slowly fixing himself.
Relax Carnage. I have done nothing to her. I dont want to do anything to her. If I am her means of a stress dummy then so be it. Better that then to see her flip out and suffer more.
No.726992
>>726988
>rubbing her knuckles
Just shut up, Jay.
>>726989
RED I'LL STILL FUCKIN' KILL YOU
>>726991
Tch.
No.726993
>>726985
You what!?
>>726990
Jeanne what the hell are you doing?!
>quickly turns away
I don't want to see that shit! Are you that drunk already?
>opens up the bathroom door
>looking around
Huh. Don't see any-
>BANG
>looks up
>Jeanne duct taped to the ceiling
How the hell?! What the-
>looks back at Alt
Oh for fuck's sake.
No.726994
>>726992
>slipping his left knuckleduster back on
I don't do requests.
No.726995
>>726993
Oi oi, what's with the yelling.
No.726996
File: 1452632897771.jpg (101.34 KB, 850x996, 425:498, sample-f443e6966c13ad4e36f….jpg)
>>726993
That's riiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiight~
>headstand on the stool
>pantsu in full view
But what I wanna know is what in tarnation was she banging with a body covered in the finest bondage tape known to man?
Not her sense of dignity, I'll tell ya that. 'Cause I took it!
No.726997
>>726992
I know your type well Revy. You kill to numb your own pain. You kill to numb your sorrow, to forget about your horrific past.
No drink truly sates your depression anymore, its violence.
I don't blame you for it.
Just after seeing so many people do violence in all its forms, Im sick of it. Guess I'm a pacifist if you want to call it that.
No.726998
>>726992
no you won't
>>726991
still say ya should try harder drinks
No.726999
>>726994
You don't do fuckin' anything.
>pouting: yes
>>726997
Well whaddya know.
>smashes a bottle
>slashes handle in hand
You got yourself a haircut, Rock.
Let's see if we can't complete the home fuckin' makeover.
>>726998
...gkkt.
No.727000
>>726995
You're having Arthur's baby! Jeanne's on the fucking ceiling! Stop looking so calm!
>>726996
>you can see an open stall door touching the very tip of her toe
>Strength: B
>slams the door close with a BANG
Jeanne it's alright I'm here already stop hitting the door!
>lifting the poor Ruler down
You okay, Jeanne?
>flustered nodding from the Saint
>notices her Alt's position
>intensely red
>"Don't look!"
>
OW! OH GOD MY EYES!
No.727001
>>726999
we both know you can hit me, you can hit me until ya fists bleed, ya can shoot me until you run out of bullets, stab me until the blade breaks, hell even set me on fire.....and all it'll do is give me a boner so strong that I will then plow BOTH my wives so hard that if forensics does a DNA test on them they would find more me then their own!
No.727002
>>727000
If you insist.
>
>Cu you fool
>>726996
Having fun?
No.727003
>jumping around outside
>going about seven feet into the air with every jump
>Moonman calm down
No.727004
File: 1452633646983.jpg (113.97 KB, 850x916, 425:458, sample-7e32ae04b5bb23227b3….jpg)
>>727000
>glancing at Jeanne
Awww, don't look so down, twinkletoes! You got your very own spick-and-span knight in shining armor carrying you around!
Hey, hey wanna know something funny?
>swivels to the Cu
Our man here is a murderer, rapist, and matricide committer...er. If that's not deliciously ironic, call me Shirley!
Ireland, right?
>>727002
The most fun in the world!
We like sports and we don't care who knows!
No.727005
File: 1452633690745.jpg (316.38 KB, 1148x1038, 574:519, dying's a slap on the wris….jpg)
>>726999
We both know that ain't true.
>oh
>she's upset
Take a breather, Rev. I'll handle the fuckin' Strawman, eh?
>>726997
I'm getting a little sick of you and your memory games, Jeeves. Quit the shit before I hit your shit and make Revy here look like a girl scout.
You pickin' up what I'm puttin' down? Or should I go into detail for the oblivious snowflake.
No.727006
>>727003
>standing on one of the rooftops he jumps by
Not bad.
No.727007
File: 1452633816551.jpg (136.09 KB, 849x607, 849:607, sample-a90eba9958b9b794e6d….jpg)
>>727001
Your wives are whores and fuck you.
Fuckin' tired, man.
>>727005
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I don't need anybody's fuckin' saving, damn it!
>hurls the bottle shard away
>stomps out
No.727008
>>727000
Oh! I-I'm sorry!
>getting redder
I-I panicked!
>deep breaths, Jeanne, deep breaths
>slowly gets out of his arms
>>727004
No! He's not that kind of person!
No.727009
File: 1452633934771.png (137.36 KB, 500x304, 125:76, As close to angry as you c….png)
>>726999
attacking me wont change a thing. It will just tire you out, and I wont lay a finger on you.
Im not here to make anyone suffer, for gods sake, Stop trying to force me to.
I apologize for saying your name. I wasnt expecting a reaction like that.
>>727005
You honestly think I care who pulls the trigger or how hard it hits? I have apologized to her frequently and still she insists on beating me up. I have already done what you asked Mr Todd.
No.727010
>>727007
ya mad that ya haven't gotten laaaaaaaaaaaaid!
No.727011
>>727006
Testing out the new hydraulic systems I installed into my boots. I'm still pretty far from being able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but... it helps.
No.727012
File: 1452634039073.jpg (181.34 KB, 600x717, 200:239, 277d8398bd31c824a2573c1e61….jpg)
>>727002
My eyes... So does Mordred know?
>>727004
Shirley, what the hell were you trying to pull on me.
>>727008
It's fine, they'll heal.
>i think my eyes are bleeding are they bleeding
She's not wrong, you know.
No.727013
>>727011
Guess that saves me the trouble of having to be vague and mysterious. I was as good at it as you seem to be.
I thought we could talk.
>
Servo defect in the left boot, if you were curious.
No.727014
>>727009
You honestly think I care about a single thing you say? Every single day you fuck up and this shit happens.
It happens one more time and I'm takin' you out myself. Hear me? You're not alive but you'll certainly be dead.
Big Sis doesn't need you if all you do is talk a big game and psychologically torment broken people, you sadistic fuck.
>>727007
Lord only knows, Revy. Lord only knows.
No.727015
>>727004
>pfft
Glad you didn't kill Jeanne, uh... Jeanne.
>>727012
Yeah. She knows.
No.727016
>>727014
so just me or does she seem like she needs the D?
No.727017
File: 1452634259224.jpg (239.57 KB, 800x533, 800:533, Keep your hands where I ca….jpg)
>>727013
I thought one of them felt off. Guess I've still got some tinkering to do.
>lands on the ground
What exactly did you wanna talk about?
No.727018
>>727008
Nah, you're right.
>griiiin
It gets even better.
So the kid he had through raping his poor teach's sister, right? Get this, he tells her to send the runt to him so he can kill it himself.
And then he forgot!
>>727012
Shirley you must be jestin'!
>rubs her chin
Shirley, huh...not bad!
>shrugs
Honestly I was kinda playing it by ear, I had a rough plan of making you poledance on your spear and just kinda went from there.
>>727015
Just call me daddy!
No.727019
>>727017
I've done my homework, I know you're not the most emotionally stable guy on the planet. Truth is, I think I'm pretty used to dealing with it by now.
I want you to get help. Real medical help, before you go back to the streets.
If you go back.
No.727020
File: 1452634581773.jpg (103.87 KB, 600x709, 600:709, 56432f7178269df8db3eec9bbe….jpg)
>>727012
>>727018
No, stop! Lancer isn't like that! H-he...
>looks over at Cu
not, is he?
No.727021
>>727014
I....never wanted...to torment people.
Its...my...job.
>he breaks down
What choice do I have? Im nothing but a glorified puppet. I knew you two could handle it. Guts- I felt so sorry for him. And im supposed to treat breaking the broken as if its...normal. Its not fucking right. Im sorry.
No.727022
>>727015
And you're not dead?
>>727018
>holy shit this bitch really is the opposite
Oi, oi, you're crusin' for a brusin' with those words.
>>727020
>looking straight at the little frenchie
Well I'm not going to lie to you.
No.727023
>>727016
Lowest of blows, Clete. Not even you should sink that low.
>>727021
I'm giving you one last chance.
You have all those memories in your head, quit usin'em against people and use them to empathize. That's why you were given the ability to feel, idiot.
No.727024
>>727019
That's never worked for me before. What makes you think it'll work out this time?
No.727025
File: 1452634941074.png (402.3 KB, 582x692, 291:346, kanno_fumi_render_by_cyan0….png)
>>727018
We both know who wears the pants in this relationship.
>>727022
Still standing.
>...
I can't speak for her. Maybe she secretly likes the idea of being the older sibling, someone to boss around or whatever.
No.727026
>>727023
....WE'VE MET right?
No.727027
File: 1452635004323.jpg (125.87 KB, 850x588, 425:294, sample-fe028394c531dbb4e8a….jpg)
>>727020
>slidewhistle behind her
I'm sorry, I just had to pinch these chubby pious cheeks!
>squeeze
Where's your God now, babygirl?
Seriously, where? I'm getting cabin fever he's making me wait so long!
>>727022
Ah keep it in pants, hound dog. Or should I say hand. Ha!
>!
Ooooo, unless you're looking for some twin action!
>smushes her face next to Jeanne's
Uh? Uh?
>>727025
You mean who wears the jeans.
Or should I say Jeannes
>Jeanne no
No.727028
>>727023
But how. You bring back one memory and it opens a can of worms.
You stay silent they attack you anyway.
HOW can a pacifist empathize with psychos and monsters so long gone from their past they dont even want to remember it any more.
No.727029
>>727024
You've never had League doctors, I take it.
Mid-Nite alone is the most skilled field surgeon I've ever seen. We'll find something.
Because this isn't up for debate.
No.727030
File: 1452635293662.png (186.57 KB, 446x420, 223:210, return of the skunk stripe.png)
>>727026
I thought your thing was Spiders, dude. She and you are like, almost friends.
So is this the part where I light you on fire and then you laugh it off until it hurts too much and you run away or is this the part where your dad crashes into a wall and rescues you for a convenient exit.
>>727028
How about don't bring it the fuck up out loud?
They don't wanna remember, don't make'em.
You made Guts literally rewatch his girlfriend get raped, his arm get cut off, and his best friend sacrificing every single person he's ever cared for.
Tell me how that's gonna make someone not wanna rip you to pieces. I wanna rip you to pieces just knowing about it.
If you don't now the ideal course of action, don't fucking take one. Humanity 101 for you.
No.727031
>>727030
I go back to drinking and you go back to god only knows what ya doing
No.727032
File: 1452635417232.png (271.24 KB, 567x1000, 567:1000, 9e601a7f93f7a07e29ded8d282….png)
>>727022
The stories you told me...
>>727027
>pushing away from Shirley
N-no! This man helped take care of me when the Grail started breaking down and when I was weak! Maybe what he did in the past was wrong, but God is gracious. He believes in forgiveness, and so do I!
>standing between Cu and Shirley
And I won't let your corrupting influence anywhere near him!
>RESOLUTE
No.727033
File: 1452635563852.jpg (1.05 MB, 1059x1129, 1059:1129, 80971d918b9f6d47f4d5e426ed….jpg)
>>727025
You're gonna let her be an influence on a wee one?
>>727027
Well, that is to say... I...
>>727032
>whoa ok I think I've landed myself in some hot shit right here
Oi Jeanne...
No.727034
>>727027
>snort
Pfft...
>
Oi. Let's not get in a fight here.
>>727033
Lancer. Look at me. Do you really think I'm in a position to say "no"?
Arthur and I don't have very... good parenting traits.
No.727035
>>727030
>Humanity 101
>to a guy who has literally never been outside whatever area he lives in.
Its guts. I needed to do anything to slow him down or he would have killed me, that was the only memory I found at the time. Yes I regretted that decision horribly. But what could I do, its fucking guts.
Ok. Il lay off the flashbacks, no matter how much my employer wants me to. But I'm not going to be capable of lasting against such people. I'm not a fighter. I never wanted to this job is stressful enough.
No.727036
>>727029
So you're strong-arming me into getting brain surgery, that it?
>shakes his head
You probably won't believe me, but that'd do more harm than good. I'd be less effective as a crimefighter.
No.727037
>>727031
I'm gonna keep ragging on Judge Dredd over here.
>>727035
>time for schooling
So request a transfer because you, my unliving friend, are way in over your head.
No.727038
>>727032
Ha! The green letters said it, so it must be true!
>ah
Forgiveness?
Honey they turned us into barbecue a la carte for doing our job. I mean sure, the Muslims'll probably blow the whole damn place up before I get a good crack it, but heck if I don't have enough gusto to try!
>pats her head
Nah, stay gold, Ponygirl. It's funner to watch.
>>727033
>[rapid eyebrow action]
>Command Spells glowing
>>727034
"Let's not get in a fight this" and "Jeanne quit biting" that. I'm starting to think I'm uncontrollable!
>winks
Fiiiiiiiiiiine, let's go to Baby GAP!
No.727040
>>727036
Then you'll just have to stop.
I tried leaving it up to them, but like it or not they just kept making the wrong decisions.
So I'm taking matters out of their hands again, like they always wanted.
No.727041
>>727037
>request
You have no idea how impossible that is. I told you being an arbiter is my existence. I'm a puppet. Can a puppet demand? No.
I just need to see Big sis. she'll make this situation alot easier on me. No offence but it's hard to learn empathy from a cold-blooded killer. I'l gladly try however, don't expect me to be all smiles and sunshine after the first lesson. It's taken me five years just to learn how to do that. Blame Quin, she botched it apparently.
No.727042
>>727033
You, knight that is pure of heart and mind. I will not allow the shadows to take you, so do not fear!
>>727038
I won't let you do as you please!
>Command Spell usage detected
>Counter Command Spell
Be gone!
No.727043
File: 1452636385158.jpg (63.58 KB, 736x346, 368:173, 5f6dafcf0eb9ca803e864e9510….jpg)
>>727040
My "Superman's about to be an evil overlord" sense is tingling.
>>727041
Then get your shit together before I get it for you. By killing you.
It's called an "ultimatum".
No.727044
File: 1452636505180.png (173.86 KB, 492x941, 492:941, 5cfc6e00235223b091b9d1394e….png)
>>727034
I doubt mine'd be any better.
>...
In terms of us Servants, there's not much hope is there.
>>727038
>>727042
Let's not be too hasty about this, Jeanne. Shirley's just looking for a bit of harmless fun, you know-
>slap
>"Steel your heart, knight!"
No.727045
>>727040
>
And I'm supposed to be the unstable one? You realize what you're saying when you say people keep making the wrong decisions, don't you? Because from where I'm standing, it sounds like you think opinions that aren't yours are automatically wrong.
No.727046
>>727038
Now the other Jeanne's all glowy.
>rubs her temples
One sec.
>>727042
>slap
Enough. From both of you.
>>727044
Not... really.
>jeez
Okay. Plan. Take your Jeanne home and I'll take mine.
No.727047
>>727043
Ok then answer me this.
A man you cant dodge and definitely cant fight, a man whose insane enough to not reason with, attacks you.
What do you do?
>He starts calling his boss.
I need an upgrade if we want to continue. Because it's not good enough to handle clients this...on edge. I need the memories to retain so I'm not just picking from a lucky dip.
Also I wont be using it on the clients.
.....
Yes yes you heard me correctly. Its ethier that or I die
...
>hangs up.
No.727048
>>727043
Try Earth-3.
>muh kinda godson
>aaaaa
>>727045
Where I'm from, Kansas is nothing but a radioactive hole in the ground because I let it all get away from me.
You're a symbol. We're all symbols. Times have changed too much to allow the wrong kind of symbols to perpetrate.
>he doesn't look happy either
I do want you to get better. There just has to be a better first.
No.727049
>I really picked the best bar tonight
No.727050
File: 1452637132352.gif (213.25 KB, 500x545, 100:109, tumblr_nxr2tnFoxv1ssg673o2….gif)
>>727042
Ohhh the agony! Help! My rights are being trampled on!
>bonks with La Grondement
You and what army, Curly?
>>727044
>guhuhuhuhuhuh
Nah, she's got me like the writing on the wall.
Or was it a horse to water? Ah well.
Beware the dark dragon witch, my man. WooooOooooooOooo!
>>727046
I don't know anything about that!
>hides a bottle of Garnier Fructis conditioner
No.727051
>>727045
>pokes his head out of the bar
Oi! Moonman! Scale of 1 to 10, how crazy is this Superman!
>>727047
I fight anyways.
In case you forgot, I'm the Robin who died.
>>727048
Don't gimme that. I've been to too many Earths. Seen too many Supermen go bad with this exact plan.
>
You're from Earth-22. I was there before it blew. And Earth-51.
Your idea's just as flawed as Batman's. Flawed as mine.
Your system works on fear, but whaddo you do with the ones who aren't afraid, Clark. Lock'em up like dogs. You stop being the Superman and just become the Super.
You stop being one of us, looking down on people like we're ants.
Is that the world you want.
>
If you say "yes", we're done here.
No.727052
>>727048
And? I'm nowhere near as powerful as you are. I can't cause that much damage overnight.
>
You said you did your homework. How much do you really know about me?
>>727051
I'd say either a 7 or an 8.
No.727053
>>727044
If you dare become as crass as her, I... I wont forgive you!
>>727046
>you can't bonk
>LUMIOS ETERNELLE
>>727050
I won't fall to your provocations. This knight is under my protection and you will not-
No.727054
>>727046
Sounds like a plan.
>>727050
You've gotten me into a shitload of hot water, girly.
>rubbing his temple
Man I thought the two of you would be fun, too.
>>727053
>and scoops up the ranting Frenchie
C'mon. You're talking nonsense again.
>kicks the door open
>walks out with an intensely red Jeanne in his arms
No.727055
>>727051
They called me a god in the Planet once. I remember because I had to ask Lois and make sure I wasn't seeing things.
At first I was flattered, and then I realized what it really meant.
They want someone up high for them to look up to, Jason. Someone with a face. I like to think I've always been that person.
It turns out I took on a lot more responsibilities with that position than I'd initially realized. Responsibilities I wasn't comfortable with seeing through.
So they rejected me. After all I'd done.
Now as soon as the new blood goes wrong, they want me back to fix things and make it all better again. But you can't go back to a time that doesn't exist anymore, can you.
I don't know what else to do.
>>727052
I won't say all of it. But enough.
Khonshu, the personalities, it's all there.
No.727056
>>727052
We might need to find a different Earth.
Nothing either of us can do to this iteration of Supes if he decides to go Emperor. He's pretty much overcome his kryptonite weakness.
>>727055
Lex was right, people got too dependent on you 'cause you were always around to save them.
Sounds like this is your fault, so you're gonna fix it by rubbing everyone's nose in their collective shit like misbehaving dogs.
I can't tell you what to do, Clark. I never could. I'm only one of the ants you're gonna judge after all.
>fingergun
Shoot, tyrant: you'll only kill a corpse.
No.727057
>>727050
Jeez.
>
By this command spell, Jeanne Alter: become easier to lift.
>>727053
I hate the religious crazies...
>>727054
Oi. Visit sometime, willya?
No.727058
>>727053
>waving
Goodbye! So long! Auf Wiedershien! Sayonara! Bon Voyajee! Arrivaderci! G'bye!
Oh man I am gonna steal so many of her clothes.
>>727054
Have fun you kids!
Don't forget the hooks!
>>727057
You got it, boss.
>glow
>suddenly tied to a bunch of a balloons
No.727059
>>727048
>>727055
>Attempts to compile memories on superman
>fails as he is an alien
Must you do this?
Suffering only creates more, I've seen the people who have died by the villains you stop. Every action you take effects hundreds if not thousands down the line.
You are correct, we are supposed to be symbols. for you it is a symbol of peace, prosperity and freedom.
So why are you planning on doing the opposite Sir. Even If they are monsters. One day they will die eventually. They dont need you to kill them. No-one needs you to cause suffering. So why do it?
You cant expect people to always love you. You cant expect the job to go well. I know that enough and Ive only been working for 5 years.
It's your duty to save lives without causing violence. No matter what people think of you.
Its what you wanted to do, what you were clearly proud in doing.
Dont cause anymore violence. Please. The death rate is already high enough.
No.727060
>>727058
Very funny.
>hup
>wobbly knees
...gkkt...
A-Arthur...
No.727061
>>727055
Then you probably know I've done a lot of shit I'm not proud of. That being said, there's no need for me to "get better", Superman. I already have. Don't get me wrong, I've still got screws loose, but it's a major improvement over where I used to be.
>>727056
If we jump ship, we should try to take our friends with us. They shouldn't have to deal with this either.
No.727062
>>727056
>SHOT THROUGH THE HEART
Don't you think I know that.
I want to be proud of what you're doing, Jason. But I can't. I know you don't care much for it but it's the truth.
Yes, going about justice guns blazing like you do is efficient, I won't argue that. But that's not how someone like us should conduct themselves. I tried being open to cooperation, but no one wants to change either.
But I refuse to let another Magog happen. That's all I can say.
>>727059
>uh
I...
>
I've seen monsters.
>BRUCE I'M ALREADY A DEMON
>>727061
I can't be sure of that.
I can't...
No.727063
>>727060
>spiritmodes in, stein in hand
A pregnant woman and an insane clown walk into a bar.
>uh
>can't carry with this stein
>"Oooo, gimme!"
>
Beautiful.
>up tinywife goes
>and Jeanne too for the ride
No.727064
>>727061
Roger.
I nabbed Rick's portal gun before he fucked off for good.
>>727062
Someone "like us." I'm not like you. God how I wanna be. I really tried my best to be what Batman wanted, which was another Grayson. But this world, Clark. This filthy, twisted dungheap had other plans for me.
I kill people because Batman doesn't. And every time you guys lock someone up, they just escape to kill again. And again. And again. And you just... don't learn. You keep locking them up.
The people I take down never hurt anyone else again.
But I guess that's just it: how can it be justice if they're dead. Dead people can't learn, right.
No.727065
>>727062
Neither can I, but that's not going to stop me. I've accepted the fact that I'm not a hero. That doesn't mean I have to be a villain.
>>727064
Huh. Talk about convenient.
No.727066
>>727062
So have I.
Its no excuse to ever become one. Even less so, because you know the damage youve caused.
I see the same problem you face in everyday human life. The stress of your work is making you crack. You feel like people do not appreciate your heroics, and have started to take out your anger on the scum who threaten the world.
But they would do the same thing. Do not lower yourself to their level Mr Superman.
You have no idea how many people I have turned from killer to good, because of your dedication to not killing.
Life is not fair Superman. That does not mean we give up and lash out. We're good men. we must continue to prove this world does not need violence.
No.727067
>>727064
Justice isn't so complicated.
I don't kill people because I can't stomach it, Jason. God damn it, it would be too easy.
It's because if I let myself be swallowed up by that dark hole, I'll never come out.
>points to the black in the S
Looks like it's already started, huh.
I lock them up because it's the only thing I can do and feel right about. What was that about symbols of fear? That was always a Bat thing.
Or maybe I just never realized who was actually afraid.
>>727065
You cut the faces off petty criminals. Cause property damage for fun.
What about that isn't villainous?
>>727066
I'm sorry, but who are you?
This isn't about the public, and never will be. If I was shot at on sight every time I put on the cape, I'd still do it. Because someone has to, and I can't be sure that if I don't, that somebody else will.
No.727068
File: 1452639546301.jpg (316.38 KB, 1148x1038, 574:519, dying's a slap on the wris….jpg)
>>727065
I wish I had one of these during the Infinite Crisis.
Could've saved Earth-51.
>>727067
Just like Bruce... "too easy". It's true, coming from you.
You could turn Joker to mush with a flick, atomize Killer Croc with your breath.
>scowl
I wanna help, but I can't abide that code anymore.
I saw the truth, and I hate it. It's disgusting. But I gotta do it because you two won't.
No.727069
>sipping at their drinks
That boyfriend of yours is pretty mature isn't he?
>"Surprised~? I know I am~"
>Nyahahaha x2
Still, I'm surprised you've been staying quiet this whole time.
>"My presence tends to ruin good things like these~"
You're not wrong.
>foxringtone
Crap, we're late!
>foxvanish
No.727070
File: 1452640083898.png (1.49 MB, 896x1337, 128:191, Khonshu hung him from the ….png)
>>727067
Things aren't as black and white as you think. Still, I'm not going to try and justify my methods.
>>727068
Look at it this way: Earth-51's gone, but with how many universes there are, there's bound to be one that's similar.
No.727071
>>727069
.....not even going to ask
No.727072
>>727068
I could stop all crime on the planet, Jason.
I could, too. You know it as much as I do. It would be easy.
But then what has anyone really accomplished?
You'd find that out too if you killed every single person you thought deserved it.
>frowns
But I won't.
>>727069
>man I'm really not looking for feelings-vampires right now
>>727070
I know, it's all you've ever known.
>
...I'm sorry, that comment before was uncalled for.
>ears prick
I should go.
>Superman
>AWAY
No.727073
>>727070
Don't get my hopes up.
>Earth-51 Bruce flashback
>that was my nigga
If there isn't, we'll make that world, you and I.
>>727072
He doesn't know me as well as he thinks... but that's alright.
This Clark won't go bad.
No.727074
>>727069
>well then
>>727072
It was, but I can't say you're wrong. Take care of yourself, Clark.
>>727073
Damn right we will.
No.727075
>>727074
That was... different, to say the least.
I'm too used to Bruce trying to beat me into unconsciousness on sight.
No.727076
File: 1452640875242.jpg (257.9 KB, 700x472, 175:118, 7fb2b9fed4cc12ede40cb9e7ec….jpg)
>>727071
Not even a little curious~?
>>727074
There I go ruining the mood~
>sipping away at a cocktail
No.727077
>>727076
if it involves ya family....not even
No.727078
>>727075
Sometimes change is good.
>shrugs
I try to avoid universe-hopping if I can. In my experience, when things get different, they get really different.
>>727076
What, you think you're the reason Superman left?
No.727079
File: 1452641238058.jpg (63.58 KB, 736x346, 368:173, 5f6dafcf0eb9ca803e864e9510….jpg)
>>727078
Well duh. Still, we have a backup in case the universe gets fucked.
No.727080
>>727076
Let me know if you need another cocktail.
No.727081
>>727079
Y'know what they say: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong."
>smiles
Nice to know we've planned ahead.
No.727082
>>727081
Hope Rev's cooled down.
No.727083
>>727082
Knowing her? I doubt it. She'll be back sooner or later, though.
No.727084
>>727083
Fuckin' A. Her armor's too easy to pierce.
Wasn't my fault this time at least.
No.727085
>>727078
I'm not foolish enough to think I'm that important~
>ear flicking
I simply enjoying your conversation~
>finishes her drink
But we'll have to discuss it some other time~
>catvanish
how has mobile leeg gotten worse
No.727086
File: 1452642315679.jpg (102.49 KB, 786x941, 786:941, He works at night, dressed….jpg)
>>727084
Hopefully she'll toughen up eventually. If not, well... not our problem.
No.727087
>>727086
It's mine.
She's like me, man. Too much.
I'm still not a hero, but...
>
Nevermind. Let's just go blow some steam off.
No.727088
File: 1452642586810.png (682.22 KB, 907x1232, 907:1232, What most of leeg thinks a….png)
>>727085
Good question.
That's gonna be an interesting conversation...
>>727087
Good idea. I still have to get used to using my old gadgets again.
No.727089
>watching saved by the bell
No.727090
>>727089
Why are we watching this again?
No.727091
>>727090
To numb the mind and oogle Jesse Spano.
Duh
No.727092
>>727091
We're at a bar, Wade.
If we want to numb the mind we could like...drink.
No.727093
File: 1452649522491.jpg (303.58 KB, 2728x1503, 2728:1503, why-the-2016-deadpool-movi….jpg)
>>727092
Woah now. You just let me do the thinkin round here Bob-alooey.
I'm taking a drink every time screech acts insufferable.
No.727094
>>727093
Oh god! If you didn't have a healing factor, you'd die from that!
No.727095
>>727094
You know I met AC Slater once.
Bashed him in the head with a stage light
No.727097
>>727096
He was saying my movie was going to be PG13 and for families.
Oh by the way, remember how I said you could be in the movie?
You arent going to be in the movie.
No.727099
>>727098
You're out kid. You don't have what it takes to make it in this fast paced Hollywood lifestyle.
Also something about not having the rights to Hydra.
So...I'm going to need you to pay me back for the money they paid you for that month of work
No.727100
>>727099
But I already spent it!
I can't just give it back!
No.727101
>>727100
Bob. We both know I'm going to get that money. Let's not do this the tough way
No.727102
>>727101
What do you want me to do? I seriously already spent it!
No.727103
>>727102
Well then, its a good thing we took that Twerking class now isn't it?
No.727104
>>727102
Well then, its a good thing we took that Twerking class now isn't it?
No.727105
>>727103
>>727104
I really wish you wouldn't talk about that class.
No.727106
>>727105
And I wish you would stop talking, go over to that bachelorette party and shake Dat ass.
No.727107
>>727106
Do I really have to?
No.727108
>>727107
I could just sell your blood again. It's been six months right?
No.727109
>>727108
>sigh
Alright, I'll do it.
>walks on over to the party
Heeeeey ladies, wouldn't like to see th--
>slapped
>multiple times over
AHHHHHHHHHHH
No.727110
>>727109
>not looking away from the TV
Don't take no for an answer Bob! Winners twerk no matter how much you don't want to see that shit.
Just ask Miley Cyrus.
No.727111
>>727110
>continues on
>in tears
No.727112
>>727111
>eating tiny pretzels
>oblivious to the tears
No.727113
>>727112
>soon the party is gone
Hey, I didn't even get paid for that!
No.727114
>>727113
You didn't get paid!?
DAMMIT Bob. This is why I replaced you with a sassy mateonly Black woman and Scott Adsit
No.727115
>>727114
If it makes you feel better the slaps they gave me felt like a deserved payment.
No.727116
File: 1452654126172.jpg (145.19 KB, 647x960, 647:960, deadpool_new_class.jpg-855….jpg)
>>727115
I wonder if SHEILD is still paying a bounty on Hydra agents
No.727118
File: 1452654527029.jpg (138.24 KB, 700x1054, 350:527, have_a_deadpool_christmas_….jpg)
>>727117
I'd bust you out eventually
No.727119
>>727118
I'd rather not go at all!
No.727120
File: 1452659627428.jpg (447.65 KB, 800x857, 800:857, 541837340212ef6ac23790a69e….jpg)
Commencing Intoxicated Mission.
Now.
No.727121
Oi, chief. My shift's over, I'll- Huh? Nobody around?
No.727122
>>727121
>sitting in plain view
Must've left the camo on.
>sip
Still got it.
No.727123
Jeez.
>I wonder who I should...
No.727124
>held off by the bouncer
>Get outta here, kid. Not the place for you
Bah, any place is the place for me! Besides, I'm older than you by like-
>Vamoose. Or I call your parents.
...Uh...Look, over there!
>zips inside
Heehee
No.727125
>>727124
Oi. Rider.
How's the backpack treating you.
No.727126
>>727125
>hops up on a stool
Shh, before they catch me!
>note the distinct lack of a backpack
Gah, what's his problem. I need a disguise...
>uh
>newspaper get
...Ah, what's this State of the Union thing?
No.727127
>>727126
>jeez
Why don't you age up with Zeus Thunder temporarily?
>did he break it
>at least he's not fading
I have an important request of you.
No.727128
>>727127
>flip
So it's a TV program where the leader of the country talks to everyone, huh.
>looking around
Oi, so why isn't anyone watching it?
>uh
Eh, turns out going all out so many times wasn't good for me. I can't even use my chariot!
>folding the newspaper up
Important, eh?
Sounds like I should pay attention!
No.727129
I found this in the bathroom
No.727130
>>727129
Most people pay for pussy in a public bathroom.
No.727131
>>727128
>ahem
I'm... uh, with child. I want you to be the godfather.
Short enough for your attention span?
>>727129
That's... actually kind of cute.
No.727132
File: 1452662820090.png (222.48 KB, 658x691, 658:691, deadpool_button_design_by_….png)
>>727130
Why pay when stray pussy just comes to you?
>>727131
He was sitting on the sink next to a tip jar
No.727133
>>727129
Wow!
>>727131
A godfather, huh...
>origami hat
What do I gotta do?
No.727134
>>727132
The implications of that are worrying.
>>727133
In case something ever happens to Arthur and I, my boy will be in your care.
Like a son.
You helped me out of my shell. I can trust you.
No.727135
File: 1452662973765.jpg (314.81 KB, 850x1202, 425:601, sample-cf5d440fec02342ac8c….jpg)
>>727132
You got a tuna sandwich somewhere I can't see or what.
>taps blindfold
Damn thing.
No.727136
>>727134
Son, huh?
Not like anything can happen to either of you because of that scabbard of his, huh.
>...
>...
No.
>grins
But I'll be the friend he'll ever have.
No.727137
>>727134
I think the cat is the bathroom attendant.
>>727135
Probably. I haven't checked my pouches lately
No.727138
File: 1452663342974.png (220.59 KB, 500x484, 125:121, tumblr_mt7ut9XVk11rl2yqho1….png)
>>727136
>
I knew you'd say that and accept the change.
>guess I'll ask Siegfried and Byrnhild
>>727137
That's why I'm worried.
No.727139
File: 1452663399873.jpg (141.07 KB, 850x723, 850:723, sample-e850d44d9f9de2a70de….jpg)
>>727137
Son, that's just disgusting.
Agents these days and their "pouches" and "pen-guns".
We weren't born yesterday, you know.
No.727140
>>727138
>
Man, Lancer was right. Your smile is kinda uncomfortable.
Lemme...
>manually adjusts her mouth
Ha! Now just stay like that.
>
Oi, you wouldn't happen to have another of those backpacks, would you?
No.727141
>>727138
Cats are a great source of money if you ask the internet.
>>727139
Pouches are so useful
No.727142
File: 1452663826194.jpg (354.57 KB, 1024x1292, 256:323, tumblr_mqmonjfmaX1rfzbrho1….jpg)
>>727141
And I had a START Button and a BACKPACK.
>
That cat's been riding the disco stick.
No.727143
>>727140
>
You broke it, didn't you. Jeez... least we saved your life with it.
>shakes her head
That was one-of-a-kind. Too expensive to build a new one. Right now, at least.
No.727144
>>727142
...somebody had sex with this cat?
Thats fucked up man.
No.727145
>>727143
>jeez
Oi oi, don't go getting on my case, we were too heavy and we had to use something as ballast!
>uh
I mean...an accident!
>waving down a bartender
Eh, I'll be ok. People telling me I can't go in places or buy the adult games might be a little tricky though.
No.727146
>>727144
You were the last one in there, weren't you.
>eyepatch HUD puts a marker on Deadpool
>[Catfucker]
No.727147
>>727145
>shakes her head
Not like I care what you did with it after I gave it to you.
>
What about that Waver? He can buy you stuff.
No.727148
>>727146
Why would I have sex with a cat? I'm a married man
No.727149
>>727147
You mean they sell those backpack things?
>handed a glass of orange juice
At least leave the vodka!
>buh
Waver...
>glass_breaking
...Eh?
No.727150
>>727148
To a cat?
Legalized cat marriage too last summer. Something the Patriots stuck in there for fun.
No.727151
>>727149
That was a personal invention, no.
>
Your adult games or whatnot.
I'd have thought you would have figured out how to torrent by now and get all your games for free. Don't you take what you want?
No.727152
>>727150
No, she's a succubus
No.727153
File: 1452664700089.jpg (151.44 KB, 850x1055, 170:211, sample-d1f041c5b0518dd0d1d….jpg)
>>727152
Yet another thing Boss is probably afraid of.
So...how dirty's the rumpy-pump.
No.727154
>>727151
WAVER IS MISSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN-
>[Iron Maiden playing]
Eh?
>phone out
Oi, don't scare me like that again!
>[unintelligible British insults]
Nah, he's fine.
>
What were we talking about?
No.727155
File: 1452664957510.jpg (303.58 KB, 2728x1503, 2728:1503, why-the-2016-deadpool-movi….jpg)
>>727153
Thats maybe a little too personal chum
No.727156
File: 1452665140074.jpg (121.87 KB, 486x600, 81:100, 7f94949fda5cda59b9740533af….jpg)
>>727154
>pfft
Wanna know how to take games for free? Without getting piled on by mall security?
No.727157
>>727155
S'ok, the 'patch took care of it for me.
>Wade Wilson: 225 lbs, 6'2"
>Sex life: [CLASSIFIED]
Goddamn it Hal I thought you jailbroke this thing.
No.727158
>>727157
So what's your favorite Keifer Sutherland movie
No.727159
>>727156
Why would I wanna do that?
Half the fun is accepting the reaction of your adversary, and acting accordingly!
I didn't leave people in charge to rule for me when I was looking for Okeanus just because I was lazy, y'know.
....But I do need some new games. And-
>pawing around his tabard
I don't have any pockets!
No.727160
>>727158
You shut your whore mouth.
No.727161
File: 1452665679584.jpg (164.5 KB, 343x800, 343:800, 1d64252f2b12ab325c0b349dbc….jpg)
>>727159
We'll go shopping. I only pirate when I can't afford stuff anyways.
No.727162
>>727161
See! That's the way!
I can only get Waver out of the house if I drag him, it's kinda nice to have someone who wants to go.
>!
Ah, did you hear about the new FExSMT game?
It combines two different games, and it's got sword-fighting and demons and tactics!
>look at that face
>do you really want to tell him the truth
No.727163
>>727162
>I have to
'mere.
>laptop go
>latest FExSMT news
>look what it's become
It broke my heart too.
No.727164
>>727160
It's Lost Boys isn't it?
No.727165
>>727163
>?
>no
>NO
But...but where did the demons go?
Oi, you're not pulling a prank or anything, right?
No.727166
>>727165
Atlus and Nintendo screwed us.
No.727167
File: 1452666609734.jpg (154.15 KB, 850x708, 425:354, sample-d21dee304217af21c7f….jpg)
>>727164
That man can play a mean gang leader, I'm only human.
>
Kinda.
No.727168
>>727166
>[miserable]
>pulls out trusty 3DS
Even Mystery Dungeon doesn't feel the same anymore...
No.727169
>>727168
>guh
>time for oppaihug
>hairstroking
>Kanno got a little better
Mystery Dungeon will always be good.
No.727171
>>727169
>?
Oi oi, what's all this about?
>not fighting it
...Oh! Nintendo's got a base, right? Or a uh-
>snap snap
Headquarters! We could go there, and make them make a better game!
No.727172
>>727171
It was joint between Atlus and them.
>
Let's do it.
No.727173
>>727172
>
Yaaaaaaaaah! Onward, there is progress to make and history to be had!
And I can get some extra money to burn with big sis!
No.727175
>>727174
Oi, hold steady!
>arms flailing
Do thou think anyone would have gotten anywhere if their steeds didn't have their sea legs, an--whoa!
>bonk
>visible dent in the floor
...I'm ok!
No.727176
>>727175
I'm having an insanely accelerated pregnancy and you're riding me like a horse-
>stumbles when he lands
>fuckin'
No.727177
>>727176
>rubbing his noggin
What, you don't think you can just lay around while you're pregnant, do you?
I had pregnant women in my armies, and look at where they got us!
...Ah, but maybe that's part of the reason why they call me a tyrant.
>shrug
Besides, I heard a story from a friend of mine that the greatest soldier ever was a pregnant lady too. Feel like going into battle yet?
No.727178
>>727177
I feel like laying down and pushing this thing out. Maybe use magic to accelerate their growth. Babies are a serious hazard I can't afford in my household.
No.727179
>>727178
Serious hazard...
>thought bubble
>babies in monster trucks
>and gladiators
Yeaaaah.
>
Ah, are you close or something?
>ear: pressed to tummy
No.727180
>>727179
>FULCONKICK from the gut
>doubles over
Guh..!
>gkkt
Okay... no no I'm going home for this.
No.727181
>>727180
>bowled over
Wah!
...Hahahahaha! Already so strong!
>grins
Hey, don't die from this, ok? I'd be sad to lose a friend 'cause of something dumb like irony.
And if he comes out, I'll make sure he's stronger than even that curly-headed smug dad of his!
No.727182
>>727181
>I want to die
>this is going to hurt
>Avalon help
A-Arthur...
No.727183
>>727182
>spiritmodes in holding a broom
We need to invest in a spray bottle and finding out just what fluid doesn't set that woman off.
>
>uh
No.727184
>>727182
Don't fall apart just yet!
>standing her up from behind
>tfw short
>>727183
Oi, what's the idea making a kid with a kick like that?
No.727185
>>727183
>H E L P
I wanna go home. Fast.
>[sweatan]
>>727184
>thanks g
This is what I get... for not planning this intentionally.
No.727186
>>727185
>?
You haven't been drinking, have you?
...How is this the second time I've found you around alcohol since this whole thing started.
>feeling her forehead
Let's get you in bed. I'll get the server farm soundtrack, I know how you like it.
No.727187
>>727185
Bah, planning's overrated anyway.
Decisions at the drop of a hat, that's what really matters!
>snubbed by Saber
Heh, concerned for his lady love, huh.
No.727188
>>727186
They serve mineral water.
>guh
This thing's gonna rip me in half from inside, Arthur. I want it out.
>>727187
No preparations. I don't wanna die, this kid's already...
No.727189
>>727188
So what are you waiting for? Get out of here already!
Where do you live again? I'll come visit!
No.727190
File: 1452670347771.jpg (140.01 KB, 698x369, 698:369, 604278b46a08d8bdd4bf026edd….jpg)
>>727188
We have mineral water too you kn-oh no that's right, it's all milk now.
>guh
>wait what
What...?
>notices the swelling belly
>immediately carrying tinywife
You are giving me a cell phone or we're tying Jeanne to a stake while we're out.
>hup
No.727191
>>727189
I'll email you the addres-
>groan
>>727190
>awaaaaaaay
No.727192
>>727191
See ya!
>shakes his head
Wonder when big sis'll get here...
>starts whittling the adjacent stool
No.727195
>>727194
>
So, whaddya think about Paleface McRipoff?
No.727196
>>727195
A rip-off implies it resembles the genuine article in any way.
>shrug
The arbiters belong to Death, so I have little interest in them. He could stand to be a little less woefully transparent.
No.727197
>>727196
And the void thing? Not too good with the chain of command here but isn't that your thing and not big sis'?
No.727199
>>727198
Do I need to? You're omniscient. Dense-im's always on about judging people and sending'em to the void or whatnot.
No.727200
>>727199
For his sake, he better hope it's just a colloquialism.
No.727201
>>727200
"Nonexistence" isn't really that up to interpretation is it?
No.727202
>>727201
I don't plan to reiterate.
>
Nyarlathotep tells me you're in the market for a divine favor.
No.727203
>>727202
I found a better way. See, there's this annoying whiny vampire who's apparently beyond my ability to kill. Then I found out she wants to die to reunite with whatever slaughtered family boo-hoo nonsense.
So it's better to just watch her suffer, unable to ever succeed in what she wants.
I'm touched that you'd even remotely consider it though.
No.727204
>>727203
There's no personal investment, of course.
I've realized that for all intents and purposes, keeping the myth that Hell is full running is more beneficial than not.
Not being able to touch one of Death's is the single factor getting in the way.
>hm
I'll oblige, I need to make a statement to the kami anyway.
No.727205
File: 1452673139638.jpg (63.58 KB, 736x346, 368:173, 5f6dafcf0eb9ca803e864e9510….jpg)
Skype is twenty kinds of fucked.
>>727204
Oh?
No.727206
>>727205
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What part was giving you trouble.
No.727207
>>727206
Everything really. I'm just a guy, all this god stuff's over my head.
No.727208
>>727207
We both know that's not entirely true, is it.
Planning to make a fresh start?
No.727209
>>727208
Planning to not get squished by Superman morelike.
Revy too.
I got people to help.
No.727210
>>727209
I suppose you do.
Good night, Mister Todd.
>
No.727211
>>727210
Jeez... where the hell is she anyway.
No.727212
File: 1452674721577.png (200.95 KB, 580x326, 290:163, 33f8af2a2709da3cf38141c6cd….png)
>>727211
>still passed out
>in that same booth
>five feet away
No.727215
>>727214
Jeez... wonder how blacked out she is.
No.727216
File: 1452675445156.jpg (258.6 KB, 1024x1303, 1024:1303, d49dfa844c1d623927bf76b55f….jpg)
>>727215
>that can't be Revy, right
>too peaceful, right
...zznkt-
>leg spasms
>kicks everything off the table
>including a glass
>crash
>zips up
What the-
>smacks her head on the underside of the table
AH SON OF A WHORE
No.727217
>>727216
>f a c a d e
Closing hours, Rev.
No.727218
File: 1452675853340.png (500.89 KB, 527x800, 527:800, f12c829be5953d57dcc7325d0d….png)
>>727217
Pffft, fuckin' so?
Ain't my problem somebody's in my bar drinking all my stock, blame the dipshit owner.
>
The fuck you still doin' here.
No.727219
>>727218
Whaddya mean "the fuck am I still doin' here"?
No.727220
>>727219
Whatever.
>bottle nabbed
Don't ya have scumbags to be killing or something. Or is this when we do the old song and dance about feelings and all that shit.
>looking around
Hot fuck, it's dead in here.
No.727221
>>727220
You've been out for hours, already did my due diligence. Was gonna give you an invite but here you were, sleepin' like a baby.
>
Closing hours, who the fuck's gonna be around?
No.727222
File: 1452676644400.jpg (251.21 KB, 850x1302, 425:651, sample_09dbb22676603611853….jpg)
>>727221
Guys like us.
>snort
Yeah well, it was 5 o'clock somewhere when I started.
But that doesn't really answer my question, huh.
What'd you come back for. 'Cause if it's drinking, look around. Probably a bottle still around without a fuckin' hole in it.
No.727223
>>727222
Wanna hear a story? Promise you haven't heard it all before. Or maybe you have, not too sure.
>question: dodged
No.727224
>>727223
>suspicions rising
...The hell is this, Jay.
>subtle click
I didn't fuckin' skim on you if this is what it's about.
No.727225
>>727224
S'about a kid, grew up on the streets. Dad was a little knobgobbler for a crime boss, mom was a heroin addict.
Mommy dies in the kid's lap, daddy's sent up the river in a bodybag.
Kid turns to looting to eat. Sleeps on the streets. Gets lucky one day, poor sap parked their ride right in the alley.
Turns out kid isn't so lucky: it's the fucking Batmobile.
No.727226
>>727225
...
...
...
So you were him, huh. The asshole in the green panties.
The fuck're you tellin' me this for. I don't wanna know about you.
>I might want to know about you
No.727227
>>727226
>shakes his head
Not done.
Bats was impressed, tyke had balls to nab the tires off the goddamn Batmobile. Kidnaps the kid, asks'im if he ever wanted to be a superhero.
Kid says "yeah," who'd say no to that?
Bats takes'im in. Teaches'im everything he knows. Takes'im out to dispense justice.
Sees the kid for what he really is: just gutter trash in a Halloween costume.
Kid goes missing off the face of the Earth, wound up on a wild goose chase in Africa. Fuckin' Africa. Chasing down a clown. Must've been a pretty bad copy of Bozo, huh.
>puff
Kid finds out dead mommy wasn't really mommy. Finds the real one. Know what she does, Revy.
Sells'im out to the clown. Watches'im get beat with a crowbar til every bone looks like a jigsaw puzzle.
Watches the clown set up a warehouse-clearin' bomb.
Tick-tock. Three. Two. One.
Boom.
No.727228
File: 1452678074303.gif (881.69 KB, 500x453, 500:453, tumblr_nb0ag70V8u1shbc9ho1….gif)
>>727227
...
>spits to the side
Yeah alright. I can admit that sounds pretty bad.
Poor little white boy sold to the big bad wolf with a tommygun.
So fuckin' what.
>when in doubt, get mad
Tellin' me this crap or whatever else fucked up AA type meeting you think this is ain't gonna do shit from shinola about gettin' even or even bringing mommy back.
>hastily reaching for the bottle
You think I wanna listen to your stupid fuckin' story?
No.727229
>>727228
Not. Done.
Death's too good for the tyke, apparently. Six months later, pop goes the weasel through six feet of grave dirt and a pine coffin. Shambled twelve miles before found by a mugger working for the most convoluted family ever.
Fixes the kid's fucked up brain, fills'em in.
Six months. World didn't bat an eye. Trash is trash, I guess.
Killer clown still at large. Bats knew where he was. Always did. Always does. Still does.
So here's this tyke, unavenged, unremembered, unimportant. What's a kid in a grown body to do?
Get mad. Get even. Get better.
Still working on the "better" part.
What about you, Rev. Where's your "better".
No.727230
File: 1452678598290.jpg (226.3 KB, 428x700, 107:175, 5765dbac04067b7063c005ea8c….jpg)
>>727229
Better, huh.
Who the fuck says I gotta be.
I didn't ask for that shit to happen to you. Don't really care either, 'cept that if you didn't kick the bucket you'd probably still be some fag in a cape.
I didn't cause any of that shit, so you thinkin' I gotta hold a candle to whatever big story you got going on is dead goddamn fucking wrong.
>sarcastic head shake
Almost thought you were cool, man.
No.727231
>>727230
Yeah? First mistake. I'm hot garbage.
>grins
Emphasis on "hot".
Funny thing about stories from the past, they're in the past.
Wanna go for round two?
>shing
Still some poor idiots out there who think they can pull one over on people.
No.727232
File: 1452679148102.jpg (281.35 KB, 675x836, 675:836, cf84f00468f7e8566e492cee3f….jpg)
>>727231
>prospect of unthinking violence
>visibly relieved
Make it fun enough and I'll kill everybody in the whole damn world.
Maybe save you for last.
>Cutlasses go
Ready whenever.
No.727233
>>727232
And this is why I like you.
>
'cept if you did that Superman would probably send you to the Gulag.
Not fun times.
Let's bounce.
>
Oh.
>flings a grapple gun her way
Figured you'd want one. Fun as fuck.
No.727234
>>727233
>uh
Wait what was that about Super-
>accidental grapple shot
>foom
>
>
>
No.727235
>>727234
She almost looks happy.
>
>awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay