No.733904
>Meanwhile, shit was fucked
No.733905
File: 1454091472102.jpg (92.38 KB, 736x402, 368:201, 1c00119817fa4a7cf9cf9a242b….jpg)
>screeeeeech
Hey, I-woah. Uh... I think this is the part where Bruce Campbell goes "I slept too long!"
No.733906
File: 1454091616809.jpg (501.58 KB, 1087x1600, 1087:1600, tumblr_o0zrkvwzvJ1tk8613o1….jpg)
No.733907
>>733906
Sheesh.
>bat get
What happened?
No.733908
File: 1454091871652.png (336.8 KB, 904x297, 904:297, tumblr_o0ri2k6zos1rljy4lo2….png)
>>733907
Don't know. Went out looking for someone, it's like this.
No.733909
>>733908
>step 1: is stuff messed up?
>y
>step 2: are the people mostly acting hostile and weird?
>y
It's Giygas.
No.733910
>>733909
Don't know what that is.
No.733911
>>733910
Don't worry 'bout it. I just gotta get some of my friends together. We'll fix this.
No.733912
File: 1454092710895.gif (938.84 KB, 500x277, 500:277, tumblr_n4makjmdEM1tzixowo1….gif)
>>733911
>weird kid
>brave kid
Don't die.
>
No.733913
>>733912
What a terse guy.
I wonder where my friends are...
No.733914
Talk about not making a big difference.
>
Maybe Punisher's right. Not about making a distance, just making people pay.
I can get behind that...
No.733915
>>733914
You mean difference.
No.733916
>>733915
Eat me, it's early-great.
No.733917
File: 1454095622946.jpg (141.03 KB, 834x608, 417:304, tumblr_maus5eTc1p1qdhjbso1….jpg)
>>733916
Careful, mister Todd. You might slip.
>gone
No.733918
>>733917
I miss Castiel. Wouldn't have to put up with this bullshit.
No.733919
Well that certainly is some weather out there
No.733921
>>733920
Not my favorite but I'd be lying if I said it bring a bit of nostolgic twinge to my heart
No.733922
>>733921
It's pretty comfy. Reminds me of home. Not too shabby, for a dungheap of a planet.
No.733923
>>733922
I suppose that's very good for you. For me its a little too dreary. No good place to go dancing or get post coital nachos
No.733924
>>733923
Now that's oddly specific.
No.733925
File: 1454107680497.jpg (57.99 KB, 495x763, 495:763, tumblr_inline_nn8xm4Emlw1q….jpg)
>>733924
Details make a story more real
No.733926
>>733925
That they do. So which Loki are you, hard to keep track of you all.
No.733927
File: 1454108005969.gif (856.66 KB, 203x400, 203:400, tumblr_nrwwfu8Vnw1toe9gwo1….gif)
>>733926
GOD of stories.
>lady change
Or Godess. Depends.
No.733928
>>733927
More flavorful that "trickster god" eh?
>
I'd say "kinky" but you did turn into a mare and birth your stepdaddy's eight legged steed.
No.733929
>>733928
I'm still a trickster. Just not the God of Lies and Deception.
No no. That was the old Loki. Loki the Mad. Loki Who Burned. Loki Twice Damned By His Own Hand.
No.733930
>>733929
Now I've broken this instance of the universe a few times, what're you on about now?
No.733931
>>733930
It very complicated. Let me see if I can simplify it. Once there was Loki, son of Laufey. Loki was an angry god who hated everything except a good ruse. His tricks were mean spirited. Eventually he turned from simple trickster myth into megalomaniac supervillian. Eventually he died in a Ragnarok. But his Brother, the Mighty Thor revived him. Only he was now a she. Well, looked like a she. Eventually returned to a He. And then died a more or less final death.
Then a New Loki took his place. A Loki free of the old memories but shackled by the repuatation of old. The new Loki sacrificed and was retaken by the old Loki. That Loki then tried to maintain the illusion. When that Failed, and Future version of Loki wished to undo him, he opted again to no longer be that Loki. Thus, I formed as the new Loki.
Now if that seems like a TL;DR, remember, you asked for an explanation from the god of Stories.
No.733932
>>733931
So what you're spouting is, according to you, Ragnarok already happened and you're a reincarnation.
I guess you're not wrong, but the path of this world's been reset quite a few times.
No.733933
>>733932
Lets just say yes. But only because its complicated and I don't think you'll really retain any of it.
No.733934
>>733933
Dangerous game there, Loki.
No.733935
>>733934
Playing it safe rarely results in a very good story.
No.733936
>>733935
I'm reminded of Icarus. Fly too close to the sun, your wings will melt.
No.733937
>>733936
Blah Blah Blah. Been there done that.
No.733938
>>733937
Now there's a funny joke.
No.733939
>>733938
So is everyone dead or something?
No.733940
>>733939
Yes and no.
I've got a cheeky pianist to visit. Enjoy the silence.
>gone
No.733942
>>733940
Silence? Please, I got Netflix and Hulu. I'll never watch that much TV.
No.733943
>crawls out of the crack
>Oh my god that is way deeper than it looks...
No.733944
File: 1454111354906.png (556.54 KB, 810x527, 810:527, dd1738dc188047e6625fde783d….png)
>>733943
>pluck
You have been gone too long, little friend!
No.733945
>>733943
>>733944
Oh hey, people.
You guys want a Squirt?
No.733949
>>733944
>Good to see you too, Enkidu!
>I have been struggling on the undergrounds for quite some time... What did I miss.
>>733945
>Sure, why not?
No.733950
File: 1454112178928.jpg (13.42 KB, 294x200, 147:100, loki_god_of_stories_by_gaa….jpg)
>>733948
Flavored carbonated beverages.
>>733949
>slides him a bottle
>there's no label
>HAHAHA! ITS ACTUALLY FRESCA!
No.733951
>>733949
I made friends with Saber! Then she started crying. Then drooling over food. And then eating.
Why does my friend want her for a bride again?
>>733950
I think I'll just have a grapefruit.
>one's growing off of Enk's body
No.733952
File: 1454112533839.jpg (45.42 KB, 750x695, 150:139, HTB15eiLGVXXXXcJXXXXq6xXFX….jpg)
>>733951
>Part because she's adorable
>The other part is because Big Gil is into misery and ideals
>>733950
>Wait a minute...
>You son of a bitch!
>But that's what I get from accepting an offer from a trickster
No.733953
>>733951
Grapefruit soda is not quite as sour as an actual grapefruit. But your call really.
>>733952
>I'm surprised that you didn't think I offered you a Squirt as a way of mocking how short you are
No.733954
File: 1454112698401.jpg (588.1 KB, 1010x1435, 202:287, Enkidu.(Fate.strange.fake)….jpg)
>>733952
Gil is weird... I think he liked it when the loud Saber was telling him what to do.
>>733953
>just kinda eating the whole thing, skin and all
>Enkidu no
I enjoy all things of nature's bounty.
Plus carbonated stuff fizzes inside me and I don't like the feeling.
No.733955
Hey, I'm on the news. Neat.
No.733956
>>733953
>I'll have you know I'm relatively tall for a miniature!
>...My kind of miniature
>>733954
>Yeah, Big Gil is into some weird stuff...
No.733957
>>733956
Gil needs professional help!
>
I don't know what that is.
No.733958
>>733957
>I don't think you can take someone to therapy for their fetishes.
>...
>Or maybe you can, but I don't think Big Gil would like that very much
No.733959
>>733958
I'm a little jealous, he has all these pretty women.
>
But if I do the same then Shamhat won't be as special. I should remain loyal to her still.
No.733960
>>733959
>Wait a moment, what about that Jade?
>Weren't you in love with her or something?
No.733961
It's so smaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall
No.733962
>>733960
I realized what I was doing when it was explained to me.
It wouldn't be fair to Shamhat.
No.733963
>>733961
Dad, why are you small again?
No.733964
>>733961
>Hello, Saber
>Bet you didn't expected me to show up again so soon, huh?
>>733962
>That's sad, but I understand your decision
>I'm sure Big Gil would too.
No.733965
>>733963
>!
>hides what was in front of her
Leo, I didn't hear you come in, isn't it unbecoming of a knight to walk around so sneakily!
>>733964
Mini Archer...
>flyswatter in hand
This time, I am prepared.
No.733966
>>733961
Saber!
>>733964
I wouldn't expect less of my friend.
No.733967
>>733965
Not all men in armor are knights.
>~
No.733968
>>733965
>That's what the other you thought too
>Do you really think this will be enough to stop me?
>>733966
>Speaking of Big Gil, how is reviving the Lancer with the underboobs going?
No.733969
File: 1454115411618.jpg (317.28 KB, 567x800, 567:800, f78752c9b75df604a66b878e5a….jpg)
>>733966
Enkidu?
>>733967
You don't want to become a knight?
>heart breaking: yes
Dishonoring your father in such a way, how reprehensible.
>>733968
Hm!
>the flyswatter is now glowing
The power of my sword will be transferred through this common flyswatter, directly to you.
Submit.
No.733970
>>733968
Gil's still looking for her spear in his vault, I think.
>>733969
Saber!
No.733971
>>733969
Knights don't really gel with this modern society.
>
I'll learn from you and all that but I still need a job or something to hold the fort eventually.
>cellphone ringing
I gotta go. Mom wants me to pick up...
>looks at the phone
"Growlanser 4: Wayfarer of Time"... okay.
>off he goes
No.733972
File: 1454115703016.png (187.4 KB, 540x514, 270:257, tumblr_o1ji7pPaEK1rljy4lo1….png)
>>733969
>did Mordred change her armor to hide from me
>...
No.733973
File: 1454115774556.jpg (55.08 KB, 750x802, 375:401, HTB1FGmFGVXXXXbMXFXXq6xXFX….jpg)
>>733969
>You underestimate my power!
>Try and strike me down, if you can!
>>733970
>Still going?
>Huh, that's some determination
>Though, he's probably gonna forget all about it once he sees His Saber
No.733974
>>733970
Um...
>>733971
But we can't afford frivolous spending like that!
>guh
>job
>...oh god I need a job
Being a knight is less about occupation and more about mindset for the world around you.
There's already enough evil and apathy in this world...
>>733972
>?
Guts?
>>733973
>flyswatter held aloft
>GLOW
Ex...Angliae amorem!
>...
>bapbapbapbap
No.733975
>>733973
I only need one equal opponent, but it's so nice of him to dig around to entertain us.
>>733974
Saaaabeeeeeer.
No.733976
File: 1454116062137.png (336.8 KB, 904x297, 904:297, tumblr_o0ri2k6zos1rljy4lo2….png)
>>733974
>...no
>not her
>not angry or loud enough
Who're you.
No.733977
>>733974
>Quickly side stepping out of the swatting
>Uahahahaha! Is that all you got?
>>733975
>If we're being honest, he's also doing it for his own reasons
No.733978
File: 1454116329764.jpg (193.19 KB, 850x1058, 425:529, sample-d87c186ddf2d07c98d5….jpg)
>>733975
Enkidu, enough of this.
Did you need something?
>>733976
Wha?
Am I really so unrecognizable like this?
It's me, Saber.
>>733977
>!
You're a fearsome opponent indeed, minuscule King of Heroes.
But I refuse to be undone so easily, on my honor!
>holding bellows
>INHALE
No.733979
File: 1454116446783.png (83.56 KB, 574x558, 287:279, 4d7f1b43f9ba8d69bb7c10d603….png)
>>733977
Of course, he wants to bed her!
But also fight her. Which I will also do!
>>733978
No. I'm just here with Mini Gil and I felt you were sad so I decided to include you.
No.733980
>we keep going to different places
>how exciting
No.733981
>>733978
>...
>but Saber's tall
>and a guy
That's not funny.
No.733982
File: 1454116757122.jpg (363.94 KB, 481x1417, 37:109, cff32c86e11c74cdd5aa16003c….jpg)
>>733979
I never claimed to be sad. Do I look sad?
>feeling up her face
I'm, I'm not sad.
>>733981
No, it's true! You can't tell by my stately manner? My gentle countenance?
>tugs ahoge
...My hair and clothes at least?
No.733983
File: 1454116757701.jpg (70.39 KB, 500x677, 500:677, 500px-Cletus_Kasady_(Earth….jpg)
>>733980
THE HELL IS THAT!?
No.733985
>>733978
>standing on his ground
>Very good, King of Knights!
>But I will not be defeated by a mere gust of wind!
>>733979
>That's the way it goes
>Truth be told, I also have interest in her
>Venturing in her chest is pretty fun!
>>733980
>Hooooohkay who the hell is this?
No.733986
File: 1454117107061.png (203.52 KB, 700x568, 175:142, 0fd963f209d4b2b2e66ed266a0….png)
>>733982
Oh... okay.
>>733985
What's it like?
No.733987
File: 1454117150667.jpg (240.47 KB, 850x1201, 850:1201, sample-c5b40938d97ac70c54b….jpg)
>>733984
So be it.
Name your test. But be forewarned, I'm proficient in every weapon outside of the bow, and the Grail grants me enough knowledge to make Trivial Pursuit redundant.
>>733985
>foot raised
This is your last chance to submit.
>>733986
>I'm not sad
>why are they talking about that other one aren't I good enough
No.733988
>>733983
>hello
>I am a small fox
>can you help me find the big fox?
>>733985
>uh
>nothing to see here
No.733989
>>733988
the hell did Ahri bud out a smaller Ahri?....is she stealing our skit!?
No.733990
File: 1454117304026.png (585.78 KB, 500x552, 125:138, tumblr_naj58aE6A61rz06hho1….png)
>>733987
>thunk goes Dragonslayer
Pull it out of the ground.
No.733991
>walks out of the bathroom
Oh man, you do not wanna go in there.
Like, it looks like somebody fucking died in there, man.
No.733992
File: 1454117378574.jpg (272.57 KB, 1024x1462, 512:731, carnage_by_soul_drawer-d39….jpg)
>>733991
....yeah looks like
No.733993
File: 1454117467830.jpg (150.08 KB, 670x377, 670:377, mike-tyson-mysteries-tv-re….jpg)
>>733992
Like, I seen some fucked up shit but that's gotta take the cake, you know. Take the cake, and, and the prize that goes with it. 'Cause they at a cake contest. Damn.
No.733994
>>733993
so what ya trying to say it...it had it's cake and ate it too?
No.733995
>>733989
>i dunno
>i'm just here because...
>actually I'm not even sure
>but i'm sure the big one knows
No.733996
>>733994
Tha's ridiculous, a body can't eat cake. A body can't even like, own cake, man. 'Cause they don't do taxes.
Fuckin' roadkill taking my tax money.
>>733995
Oh damn! It's one'a them little Chihuahuas!
No.733997
>>733995
so I need to find Dumb Ass Ahri.....okay just fallow the gay thoughts detector
No.733998
File: 1454117722631.jpg (75.77 KB, 639x350, 639:350, Cletus_Kasady_(Earth-19411….jpg)
>>733996
Quick champ! kick it's ass!
No.733999
>>733986
>It's like squeezing your way through two giant pillows
>Or just bouncing on them
>>733987
>Bring it!
>>733988
>Okay, let's get one thing straight: There's room for only one small copy, and that is me!
>...And sometimes, Mini Faker
>>733989
>She's stealing my thing!
No.734000
File: 1454117731406.png (434.9 KB, 653x800, 653:800, 076302e44ca773a18be2451edb….png)
>>733990
...
>ptoo ptoo
>and
>HEAVE
No.734001
>>733999
SHE TOOK YAR JOOOOOB!
No.734002
>>734000
>...
So why are you so small.
>just kinda takes bigswood from her hands
No.734003
>>733999
Lewd.
>
I'm going to help Gil look. Bye!
>hops into GATTO
No.734004
>>733999
>Stomp
>>734002
>wobbling after it's gone
>stupid disproportionate body
It's my punishment, which I mean to endure whether it's in my best interests or not.
It's...been a while since I was reduced to this.
No.734005
>>733996
>OH GOD WHERE
>>733997
>I bet she's out getting in trouble and she'll burst in running from some thug
>>733999
>I came here to have fun and honestly i'm feeling so attacked right now
No.734006
>>734005
HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
No.734007
>>733998
Oh no, no, I ain't fighting tonight. I'm here for the mystery!
>>734005
Damn, tha's one ugly ass Chihuahua.
I wonder if the mystery's gots anything to do with Chihuahuas.
No.734008
>>734007
maybe, maybe ya got to beat the answers out of it!
No.734009
File: 1454118147208.png (521.62 KB, 500x663, 500:663, tumblr_o17si1N1gB1sxiqsao1….png)
No.734010
>>734001
>BUT NOT FOR LONG!
>>734003
>Don't forget to tell him I got the tears!
>>734005
>You wanna see attacked?
>I'll show you attacked!
>
>>734004
>!
>Takes a mini spear from GATTO and points up
>Stepping on a pointy object in 3,2...
No.734011
Stool Softeners? Presricption Zantac? Dear lord who lives here my Great Aunt Ruth?
No.734012
File: 1454118470151.jpg (56.25 KB, 850x478, 425:239, sample-4d181b25ce0a42636ff….jpg)
>>734009
You don't have to.
Only know that I'm still me, appearances notwithstanding.
>...
I've been incredibly selfish when it comes to my family recently, this is how I atone.
Some...how.
>>734010
>what are metal shoes
>stopped by the spear like it was a toothpick
Huh?
No.734013
>>734006
>but it wasn't a joke...
>>734007
>mystery?
>that sounds tough
>a nap sounds better
>I might take one now in fact
No.734014
>>734012
You need to learn how to not suck as a dad.
>
Don't ask me for help. I'm not good at it.
No.734015
>>734008
But what if it ain't even a talking Chihuahua?
I tried talkin' to Michael Vick's dogs and they wasn't talking dogs neither, you know. They was biting dogs.
Oh I'm sorry sir, did you want an autograph or somethin'?
>>734011
I didn't know you had a Great Aunt Rooth, Pigeon. I bet she's a real classy dinosaur.
Or maybe she an eagle, fuck if I know.
>>734013
Aw man that's fuckin' adorable as shit, man.
No.734016
>>734013
I know and I still found it funny
>>734010
go for the face!
>>734011
sad sad people
No.734017
>drawing dicks and boobs on the wall
No.734018
>>734015
Oh yeah. Terrible old woman. Not a bad bosom on her though. You know that bosom that isn't really hot or sexy, but still just kinda gets those young hormones flowing.
>>734016
And you must be their king
No.734019
File: 1454118836925.png (63.67 KB, 234x280, 117:140, tumblr_o0g74h2P971ungotoo1….png)
No.734020
>>734012
>Struggling to mantain the spear up
>Ready... to surrender... Little King?
>>734016
>Big Gil usually goes for the limbs first
>He says he prefers to take it slow
No.734021
>>734019
>as is the doctor
No.734022
>>734017
garsp! this is a family plahaahahahaa almost got that out
>>734019
hey Neo look a small Ahri, she's smaller then you!
>>734018
pppffft nah I have my own hell to live in
>>734015
nah I got a ear you signed back in the 90s
No.734023
>>734010
>
>>734015
>if you see the big chihuahua tell her to stop losing her stuff
>>734016
>i guess it is pretty funny huh
>say hi to her if you see her I'm going to get away from the other mini thing before I get turned into a piece of bite sized cheese
No.734024
>>734014
>But
But...
My father was never around, as a king often is. Any sense of paternal instinct I've had to learn myself by conducting through my men.
>>734020
>twitch
I am not little.
>WHOMP
No.734025
>>734021
>as is The Do-
>I'm sorry
>I'm so sorry
No.734026
File: 1454119056805.png (151.28 KB, 540x538, 270:269, tumblr_o1ji4dY7EC1rljy4lo1….png)
>>734024
>shrug
I killed my stepdad. Most people around me die too.
I don't know why Mordred even likes me.
No.734027
File: 1454119110064.jpg (195.66 KB, 615x727, 615:727, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>734023
I could hide ya some place safe
No.734028
>>734019
Heeeeeellllloooooo Nurse. How much to go back to the Champange Room? Wait...no...lemme she what your tits look like first. Then we can talk price.
>>734022
Ever thought about just killing yourself?
No.734029
>>734018
Young hormones?
Aw Pigeon, you don't need any of that dope, man. I love you just the way you are, all little, and like a bird and shit.
>>734022
Well whatever, you the one who sent for the mystery?
Mike Tyson of the Mike Tyson Mystery Team, for mystery-related stuff.
>>734023
Now now little Chihuahua, maybe the midget just wants ta, you know, be friendly and stuff.
No.734030
>>734029
nah must be one of these other "people"
>>734028
I'm harder to kill then your alcoholic problem
No.734031
File: 1454119321893.png (139.02 KB, 500x281, 500:281, tumblr_ndtwopWeYJ1qbn6jwo1….png)
>>734029
If I ever get around to it, I'm finding a way to be a human again Micheal.
Also, I saw Marques smoking behind the bird coop again
>>734030
What alcoholic problem?
No.734032
File: 1454119375398.jpg (149.34 KB, 850x1202, 425:601, sample-8cd8ecefb1e4ceac322….jpg)
>>734026
That doesn't matter, only that she does.
>Mordred
>oh no
>ALL MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAULLLLTTT
...g-gkkt.
No.734033
>>734031
the first part to fixing a problem is admitting where ya hid the bodies
No.734034
>>734022
I almost sorta believed you.
No.734035
>>734023
>THAT'S RIGHT
>YOU BETTER RUN
>AND FOR YOUR SAKE I BETTER NOT CATCH YOU IN MY ZONE
>>734024
>S T O M P E D
>Everything below the head was buried into the ground
>...
>Now I know what you're thinking...
>"Should I step on him again?"
>And the answer maaaay surprise you.
No.734037
File: 1454119491259.png (375.5 KB, 750x421, 750:421, miketysonmysteries-e141442….png)
>>734030
Well ok, thank you anyway for you time, sir.
Also, if you see a little Chinese girl and a ghost, could you ask 'em where my god damn chilidog is?
>>734031
Didn't, didn't Sandra turn you back with her witch powers?
Sorry, Pigeon, I was tryin' to pay attention but that weird Indian motherfucker kept startling me, you know?
No.734038
File: 1454119502808.png (173.29 KB, 711x559, 711:559, UH OH LEVELS AT CRITICAL M….png)
>>734032
>
>Guts why
Stop being stupid.
No.734040
>>734021
>nyoro~n
>who are we operating on tonight
>>734022
>someone smaller then me
>monstrous grin
Where~?
>>734028
Sorry, they're called boobies, not pigeons~
>squirts an obnoxiously big needle
But if you'd like, I can still give you a...treatment~
No.734041
File: 1454119634711.jpg (136.15 KB, 850x679, 850:679, sample-1e251cd10630fe591ff….jpg)
>>734035
You've brought this on yourself!
>STOMPSTOMPSTOMP
>that almost made me feel better
>>734038
>I'M SAD
>AND ALSO SCARED HOLY SHIT
U-Uh...
No.734042
File: 1454119647709.png (84.63 KB, 500x371, 500:371, tumblr_nidr2q1ZS91trqwpao1….png)
>>734040
>who indeed
>:3c
It does look nice on you.
No.734043
>>734033
Hiding bodies is a whole lot of work. I'm sure they just take care of themselves.
>>734037
And yet here I am.
>>734040
Honestly I just want to throw crumpled up dollars at you while you dance like someone who was touched by their Step-Father. Or at the very least their Uncle.
No.734044
>>734039
didn't think so, so ya call Mike Tyson?
>>734037
and if ya see a Asian woman with a glowing eye and another lady with a mouth full of razor sharp teeth can ya ask them to NOT wreck my god damn car trying to react the Duke's Of Hazard!
>>734040
she's escaping!
No.734045
>>734044
Is he the one that has that grill that nobody uses anymore?
No.734046
>>734041
I'm leaving now.
>
Gotta find'er.
No.734047
File: 1454119835927.jpg (150.08 KB, 670x377, 670:377, mike-tyson-mysteries-tv-re….jpg)
>>734043
Yeah, and that means we got a mystery to solve!
Like first, who sent us this damn mystery, man?
I tried askin' one whole person and nothin'!
>>734044
Oh man, I hate when that happens! My heart goes out to you, sir.
>hands a check for 65,000 dollars
No.734048
>>734045
that's George Formen
>>734043
step up ya game man, step it up
No.734049
>>734041
>AAAAAAAAAAAH
>Ow! Ow! OOOOOOW!
>Disappears ino gold dust in the middle stompstorm
>Distant "I SHALL RETUUUUUURN"
No.734050
File: 1454119987384.jpg (85.58 KB, 850x555, 170:111, sample-a84328993216445d580….jpg)
>>734046
>just look for anywhere that isn't near me
...
>sniff
>>734049
>!
What...what have I done!?
No.734051
>>734047
Maybe it was Yung He playing a prank on you. You should let me hire a woman to spank her while I take photographs for my "blog"
>>734048
>cracks a beer
Eh
No.734053
File: 1454120068900.jpg (43.15 KB, 349x534, 349:534, 1414811-362378_128910_carn….jpg)
>>734051
see alcohol problem
>>734047
ya too kind
No.734054
>>734050
>squint
That woman looks like...
>that's a Servant
>uh
>reflexively shrinking back despite Powerless Shell being on
No.734055
File: 1454120130568.jpg (992.52 KB, 1988x3056, 497:764, Loki_Laufeyson_(Ikol)_(Ear….jpg)
>>734048
Oh. No, he's the one that had his ear bitten off right?
No.734056
>>734042
>now now let's not be hasty
>I'm just an intern
Naturally~
>>734043
And I just want to truss you up like a turkey and feed you to my partner. But unfortunately, I have patients to attend to.
>>734044
Why is that bird talking. I want to make it stop talking. With knives.
No.734057
>>734051
Nah, Yung's a good girl. Also she Asian, and Asians don't prank anybody unless it's like, a math prank or some shit. Or homework.
...Oh damn, mysteries are her homework!
Pigeon, what're we gonna do? My little girl's gonna turn into a social outcast now!
>>734053
No no, thank you.
No.734058
>>734055
that's Holyfeild, Mikes the one that bit him
>>734056
then make him stop talking....with knives....but first
>hands her the check for 65,000 dollars
keep it out of my wives hands!.....and Red's....AND DADS!
No.734059
>>734054
>little busy here
>go ahead and fuckboy in peace, I guess
No.734060
>>734053
>siiiip
Tastes just fine to me. No problem with the alcohol here.
>>734056
Tease
>>734057
Rent out her panties to Asian Business Men.
That's what I've been doing.
No.734061
>>734056
>good thing I'm Jekyll and not Hyde
Interning?
>>734059
>uh
>man my Victorian gentleman upbringing won't allow this why you gotta be all sad and shit
Miss?
No.734062
>>734058
Still not sure...Did he fight Rocky?
No.734063
>>734057
no thank you!
>>734059
some out should help him/her/whatever the hell
>siiiiiiiiiiiiip
>>734060
is there?
No.734064
>>734060
Ok, so we do that. But then what?
You know how expensive panties are? S'like she needs more than three pairs anyway.
>>734063
No, thank you.
No.734065
>>734062
that's Clubber Lang played by Mr. T
No.734066
>>734061
>not crying nope definitely not
Um...
>wipes her face
Yes?
>>734063
Excuse me?
No.734067
File: 1454120646651.gif (850.96 KB, 951x534, 317:178, tumblr_nhib8tfU1G1solqzko1….gif)
>>734063
>ssiiiiippppp
Nope
>>734064
That's why you RENT them. They pay, they play they give em back. Most times. By the way, you see Toshihiro, you tell him no more "Period Pieces" until he pays his tab.
No.734068
>>734066
You seem distraught. What is the matter?
No.734069
File: 1454120683792.jpg (107.47 KB, 830x572, 415:286, Cletus_Kasady_(Earth-92131….jpg)
>>734066
normally I don't say anything when I fart....that way I can blame it on my dad....or Predator
>>734064
I said NO, THANK, YOU!
No.734070
>>734065
No the first Rocky. Is that Mike Tyson?
No.734071
File: 1454120807616.jpg (82.84 KB, 1000x674, 500:337, mike-tyson-mysteries-image.jpg)
>>734067
Ok, that sounds easy enough. But what's that gotta do with the mystery?
>>734069
MOTHERFUCKER I SAID THANK YOU
>TYSON PUNCH
>>734070
I WASN'T IN NO DAMN ROCKY
No.734072
File: 1454120818708.jpg (121.07 KB, 571x605, 571:605, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>734070
Apollo Creed, played by Carl Weathers
No.734073
>>734071
Who care? The Mystery is a bust.
No.734074
>>734071
>BOOM! his head exploded
No.734075
File: 1454120938120.jpg (80.06 KB, 850x478, 425:239, sample-25e53dc3172e0083138….jpg)
>>734068
Nothing!
Nothing...
Go about your business, there's no need to concern yourself with me.
>>734069
Um...
>oh god the smell
No.734076
>>734071
HEY! You're the guy from those Hangover movies! You're Mike Tyson? I thought you were Zach Galifinakis.
>>734072
The guys from Happy Gilmore?
No.734077
>>734073
A bust? Like one a them old timey statue things?
Man what the hell's a bust gotta do with anything, unless it's like, the bust in Batman's house.
Aw man I gotta tell Deezy to get me one of those, also a Batcave.
>>734074
And another mystery solved!
>>734076
Tha's right little girl. I am Mike Tyson.
>itches his stomach
Man, I could go for a burrito.
>walks out
No.734078
>>734075
>aaaaaaaa
When you say that it's only more concerning.
My name is Henry, by the way.
No.734079
>>734077
>head reforms
yoooouch he still has it
>>734076
no that's Chubs
>>734075
what? never seen a guy reform his head?
No.734080
>>734077
>flies up onto his shoulder
Ugh. Deezy. Have I told you that I hate him and he's the worst?
>leaves with Micheal
No.734081
>>734077
>changes to lady
Well, he wasn't wrong.
>>734079
Yeah, wasn't he played by Carl Weathers?
No.734082
File: 1454121255495.jpg (193.19 KB, 850x1058, 425:529, sample-d87c186ddf2d07c98d5….jpg)
>>734078
>pity: unneeded
I know who you are, Assassin. I meant what I said.
>
>lip trembling
>>734079
I've seen a giant squid monster reform its head...
No.734083
>>734082
>uh?
>adjusts his glasses
How-but... how did-
No.734084
>>734082
and I've seen a giant squid monster in New York 35 minutes ago
>>734081
I guess so
No.734085
File: 1454121419935.jpg (179.96 KB, 850x1066, 425:533, sample-20a864450ddef23ec0f….jpg)
>>734083
>hmph
You weren't part of the Labyrinth either, so you wouldn't know.
>>734084
Someone should do something!
>runs out
No.734086
>>734084
Remember when Adam Sandler was funny?
No.734087
File: 1454121484916.jpg (195.66 KB, 615x727, 615:727, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>734085
HA! 3 for 3
>>734086
back when he had SNL writers?
No.734088
>>734087
Hmm, I don't think they were writing his movies for him. I think he just stayed the same while everyone else grew up.
No.734089
>>734088
and then he made grown ups
No.734090
>>734089
Worse still, he made Grown Ups 2. And made Rob Schnieder think he COULD DO EEET
No.734092
>>734090
remember when Rob Schnieder was in all those Sylvester Stallone movies?
No.734093
>>734091
DANCE MAGIC DANCE!
>>734092
Right? It was weird. Like he was almost the go to for weasely faced comedy sidekicks
No.734094
>>734093
......I should kill him
No.734096
>>734094
Did you even see how bad 'Real Rob' is? There is nothing you can do to hurt him anymore.
>>734095
You know you could just jump back in through the window you already jumped through
No.734097
>>734096
You try leaping through the exact same window on the exact same building from the exact same ledge in the rain!
No.734099
File: 1454122714751.jpg (441.92 KB, 1265x1920, 253:384, Loki_Agent_of_Asgard_Vol_1….jpg)
>>734097
just look for the broken window.
>>734098
He tries to do one of those comedies where he plays himself, but he's a huge asshole, like in a "funny" way. I don't think he even cares anymore. He cannot be stopped.
No.734100
File: 1454122830677.jpg (63.58 KB, 736x346, 368:173, 5f6dafcf0eb9ca803e864e9510….jpg)
>>734099
Ain't as simple as that, weirdo.
No.734101
>>734100
>jumps through a broken window
No.734102
>>734100
>>734101
Wow...that looked so difficult. I am stunned and/or amazed
No.734104
>>734103
How goes Operation Life of Crime?
No.734105
File: 1454123710612.jpg (222.03 KB, 1280x540, 64:27, big fancy rich asshole bul….jpg)
>>734104
It literally runs itself. Offer protection from the local superheroes and other gangs, little show of force, they fall right in.
Then you just let them kill each other while they wait for you to back them up.
It won't really amount to anything but it'll keep the dopes busy long enough for me to catch a few shows.
No.734106
>>734105
So then what's on the agenda for tonight?
No.734107
>>734106
I was gonna break a few more windows. Gonna collapse this abandoned building and I want a few open spots so I can look in before I blow the support beams.
No.734109
>>734108
Shits totally fucked
No.734110
>>734109
You know what this needs?
No.734111
>>734110
Snacks and handguns?
No.734112
>>734111
Snacks and handguns.
Let's get some of those chips.
No.734113
>>734112
Clips of chips.
Also I have a novelty handgun that shoots bubble tape
No.734115
>>734114
Bubble gum that comes like a roll of tap
No.734116
>>734115
Does... does it also work like tape?
No.734117
>>734116
no, it works like bubble gum
No.734118
>>734117
Hmm... what if we send it to R&D and have them play with it. They could make chewable duct tape. Flavor and utility!
No.734119
>>734118
but then if we duct tape a prisoners mouth with it, they'll just chew out of it
No.734120
>>734119
We'll voice that concern, the scientists will figure something out.
No.734121
File: 1454129619733.png (118.57 KB, 777x434, 111:62, tumblr_nzjhm5Ps3Z1v27wluo1….png)
No.734123
File: 1454130309916.png (152.73 KB, 728x522, 364:261, tumblr_nzpppgI6py1ulpjkco1….png)
>>734122
Boss, we have a serious problem.
It's come to my attention that throughout history, night raids are the most dangerous to a unit's morale. They're out of bed when they don't want to be, tired and afraid.
But most importantly, in pajamas that don't match. They end up looking like a group of individuals instead of a coordinated fighting force.
No.734124
>>734123
I just sleep naked.
No.734125
File: 1454130662478.png (604.6 KB, 574x605, 574:605, tumblr_nzrecipKXY1ulpjkco2….png)
>>734124
...Right.
Anyway, the point is that the shipgirls don't have any kind of mandated uniform outside of their class designation squads.
But I think I've found a solution.
No.734126
>>734125
Kaz, nighties don't need to be coordinated...
No.734128
>>734126
Boss it's a viable area for improvement, just listen.
Are you listening?
Keyhole cat underwear
No.734129
>>734127
What do you think about this?
>>734128
>
What.
No.734130
File: 1454131020931.jpg (484.52 KB, 1070x1642, 535:821, tumblr_nu7w9hWIUI1ufcfm2o1….jpg)
>>734129
Think about what? Uniform pajamas? sounds like a waste of time.
No.734131
File: 1454131068315.png (255.38 KB, 570x894, 95:149, tumblr_nzstot1ohB1qedutlo1….png)
>>734129
We're not mercenaries. We're not a foreign legion. Outer Heaven is a business, a new kind of business.
And a business has to have a presentable marketing strategy.
Namely cute girls in lingerie.
>>734130
You just don't get it.
No.734132
>>734130
Exactly. Who cares what we sleep in?
>>734131
It's not so new anymore. We certainly revolutionized the concept.
>
Kaz, is this just an excuse to see the shipgirls in frilly underwear.
I won't subject them to that unless they want it.
No.734133
>>734131
Kaz, I like lookin at girls in their underwear as much as the next guy.
>>734132
If you're sleepin, then yer off duty. If you got a night mission, then wear a uniform.
Simple.
No.734134
>>734132
We still make the rules that they follow, Boss. Boundaries that the rest follow out of fear of losing something valuable that we inadvertently pass on. Growth never stops.
>
I can't see, Boss. What kinda guy to you take me for?
>>734133
Then you understand, right? The psychological implications?
No.734135
>>734133
That's my phantom.
>>734134
So what's the point. Morale's high enough with the calendar we put out.
No.734136
>>734135
...I might have accidentally signed some forms.
No.734137
>>734134
I understand that sleep wear should be your own choice. Kaz, we didn't save this world so that people couldn't pick their own PJs
>>734135
Plus Quiet would never go for it. Then the others would wonder why they she gets such special treatment which would lead to dissension in the ranks
No.734138
>>734136
...How many, Kaz.
>>734137
Exactly. It'd be nothing but trouble.
It looks like we have a surplus of women's underwear... we'll have to do something with them.
No.734139
File: 1454131994733.png (803.15 KB, 1100x684, 275:171, tumblr_nw1f7sHeKp1r2ytrvo2….png)
>>734137
What do you know, you don't even wear a shirt half the time.
>grumbling
Well don't come crying to me if we're invaded at night and they get past ZEKE and Gipsy and the other defenses and our girls end up a laughing stock.
>>734138
Hundreds.
No.734141
>>734138
Fake supply drop on some super conservative group.
>>734139
The only way our girls will be a laughing stock is if they loose or get knocked out by their own tit hittin em in the face
No.734142
File: 1454132384010.png (415.61 KB, 500x508, 125:127, tumblr_nzrecipKXY1ulpjkco1….png)
>>734140
It was just so temp-
I mean, it was completely an accident. Yes.
...Maybe we could stitch them together as reusable fultons.
>>734141
You mean you've seen that happen!?
No.734143
>>734141
I like it.
I want to irritate those Liberals too.
>>734142
I like Venom's idea better.
No.734144
File: 1454132648100.gif (960.23 KB, 500x281, 500:281, 4ad7ded44e37d105642a702fa1….gif)
>sitting next to a pile of bags
>dirty laundry, money, and other things spilling out
It feels so low having to resupply like a common criminal...Bah, in these dire times there's only thing that truly satisfies.
>alcohol consumption
Can't help but feel like there was another reason why I came here.
No.734145
>>734142
Oh yeah. More than once.
>>734143
We could....I don't know, pay another loud mouth moron to run as a republican.
....HEY KAZ, YOU WANNA BE A PRESIDENT?
No.734146
File: 1454132796099.jpg (166.37 KB, 1017x1019, 1017:1019, tumblr_nv2if6uRkp1u9scj7o2….jpg)
>>734143
But you always take his si-
>>734145
President? Me? You really think so?
Well, I don't mean to brag, but my smile's been nominated for some very exclusive contests.
No.734147
>>734144
Eh?
>>734145
Kaz can't be President, none of us are American citizens anymore. And he's Japanese.
>>734146
He's me.
No.734148
>>734147
Ahoy there, ballooner of men.
>rustling around in one of the bags
>Skittles get
>the rest of the contents spill out
Ha! I suppose that serves me right.
>?
Ah, but what's this.
>picks up a book
No.734149
File: 1454133107130.jpg (169.21 KB, 1024x1440, 32:45, punished_snake_by_saturnoa….jpg)
>>734146
Well, obviously we won't let you win. But you'll just be used to make outrageous statements and annoy legit canidates
>>734147
I'm sure we could pull some strings.
No.734150
>>734147
You always say that!
I'm stating to think there's nepotism here, Boss. And that you think I can't be President!
>>734149
What? Why!
Is...Is that all you think I do?
No.734151
>>734148
It's Boss.
>
Eh?
>>734149
I do have a few favors from Trump to cash in.
>>734150
Is it nepotism when we're both Big Boss?
>
Don't be like that, Kaz. None of us can-...no. I know one who can... Solidus.
No.734152
File: 1454133359972.jpg (287.67 KB, 607x898, 607:898, 006d0e84b9c964e8802138ce1d….jpg)
>>734151
No man is my Boss, not in this life or the next!
>flipping through
Ho! A book about little old me!
>tucks it away
But there's not much a book could tell you that the genuine article couldn't tell better. I hope we can forgo the philosophical debates, and live tonight as comrades!
Especially since I left my sword in my other pants.
No.734153
>>734150
No. But I figured you'd want a fun mission for once.
>>734151
That guy makes me feel uneasy. Like I just stand in the room with him and then I feel like I need a whole mess of showers.
No.734154
File: 1454133451696.jpg (137.23 KB, 720x303, 240:101, tumblr_o1buperJHQ1snmiwao1….jpg)
>>734151
Damn it Boss, you know he's not actually yo-
Solidus? But Raiden killed him, didn't he?
>>734153
Fun for who?
Can I at least show up drunk.
No.734155
>>734152
Regardless, that's my name. It's like if I were to refuse to call you Iskander or Alexander.
>
I remember reading that you were skilled in pankration.
>>734153
Trust me, we all get that feeling.
>>734154
Yes. And his body was burned by Ocelot on the Volta River.
But... the key to recreating Solidus lies within my body.
No.734156
>>734154
You can make everyone uncomfortable by loudly joking about your missing limbs
>>734155
How does skin even turn that color?
No.734157
>>734155
No, for we are not men with names? A title that disguises itself as a name is pretty sneaky if you ask me.
>!
Of course! Perfected by my ancestor, the great Hercules, you know!
No.734158
>>734155
Oh no...Boss you can't be serious, we still haven't even found the guy responsible for Young Snake!
>>734156
Jokes? You think this is a joking matter?
Every night, I'm kept awake by the...pain.
We need better insulation.
No.734159
>>734156
I'm pretty sure he's not human.
>>734157
Sneaky suits me just fine.
>
A bout against the legend himself may be fun... how about it?
>>734158
Of course I'm not serious, I said no more clones and I meant it.
You'll have to do.
No.734160
>>734159
Heheheh. You know, of course, that pankration is always the result of some great victory or other. A cause for celebration that is the celebration itself!
Because we'll need the time necessary for winning something to get all the oil ready.
No.734161
File: 1454134130867.jpg (816.62 KB, 968x1329, 968:1329, tumblr_nww9snicJB1ufcfm2o1….jpg)
>>734158
Did you put in a work order? Cause no one's going to fix it if you don't put in a work order
>>734159
That would explain...a lot.
No.734162
>>734159
But you just said--
Forget it, I'll be President!
>>734161
Who do you think handles the work orders?
And for the last time, stop signing as just "V" whenever you feel lazy!
No.734163
>>734160
Bah, oil. The only lubrication a man needs is his own hard-earned sweat.
>>734161
It really would. But then where is he from...
>>734162
President McDonnel Miller.
You'll have to use that name again.
No.734164
These Losers Over There In Outer Heaven Or Zanzibar Land, What Do They Know? They Don't Have What It Takes To Truly Complete The Boss' Vision.
That's Why I Am Now Announcing The Formation of Trumper Base. Mother Base? Sounds Like A Base Full Of Pussies and Mexicans. Maybe Even Some Sand People. We Can't Have That. Outer Trump Tower Will Stand As A Beacon To The World That I Am The Hero They Deserve. And That A Vision Of The Future Will Come To Pass.
No.734165
File: 1454134546569.jpg (260.5 KB, 600x847, 600:847, 0c8acb1b264fd9f6f5f9cae732….jpg)
>>734164
Dude this channel sucks. He's speaking funny.
No.734166
>>734162
You're not the boss of me.
>>734163
I kinda don't care
>>734164
....the fuck
No.734167
File: 1454134562939.jpg (178.32 KB, 803x841, 803:841, 4f1eee4fe33a8316f26ad61647….jpg)
>>734163
The oil isn't for us, you know. But for the gods that watch and cheer along with us!
>scratches an ear
But even gods get tired after so many years, I'd imagine. Perhaps they even take god-naps.
>sage nodding
Very well! Show me the raw strength of this new age!
No.734168
>>734163
That's like asking me to go by Benedict again.
>>734164
YOU SON OF A BITCH
>throws his cane at the TV
>falls down
>>734166
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No.734169
>>734164
Oh, that Trump. I'll assassinate him after the matter.
>>734166
Still.
>>734167
Very well!
>FLEX
No.734170
>>734169
>
>>
What a convenient modern appliance!
Now let us fight like men!
>PANKRATION
No.734171
>>734168
If I pick up your cane and give it back to you, you won't learn, so I'm not going to.
>>734169
I knew we never should have dealt with him
No.734172
>>734170
>shrrrrip
>
Have at you, Iskandar!
>NAKED WRASSLIN
>>734171
He really is an idiot, but a good distraction!
No.734173
>>734170
Oh jeez are you really doing this no-
>bodyslammed by the Tama
>"Three jelly donuts on the big one!"
Get off me you stupid fox!
No.734174
File: 1454134998684.jpg (573.68 KB, 1280x1816, 160:227, tumblr_o0hdxn1B8E1uw0aq1o1….jpg)
>>734171
HE THINKS HE CAN FUCK WITH US, HE THINKS HE CAN FUCK WITH OUTER HEAVEN
I'LL HUNT DOWN HIS TURKEYNECK ASS AND SKIN HIM ALIVE
HE WANTS WAR, I'LL GIVE HIM A WAR
>...
I need my cane to do war stuff.
No.734175
File: 1454135162945.jpg (459.83 KB, 800x791, 800:791, 0e1bc92002592f061953052538….jpg)
>>734172
UUUUUAAAAAGGHHHH!
>
I think they call this a "gotcha moment"!
>HEAD
>SUPLEX
>>734173
WAHAHAHAHA! ALL BETS ARE ON!
WITNESS THE VICTOR BETWEEN THE MIGHTY ISKANDER AND BIG BOSS!
No.734176
>>734172
How much you think he paid for that eye patch?
>>734174
Then get your cane.
No.734177
File: 1454135260946.jpg (249.12 KB, 771x957, 257:319, 7b231204fa65c21962d2d7c48c….jpg)
>>734173
>sitting on Lancer's shoulders
If I win you owe me~
>>734175
>shaking pompoms around
Woohoo!
No.734178
>>734175
>thud
Goho... I haven't been slammed in such a long time...
>on his feet
Snake... KIIIIICK!
No.734179
>>734176
>whoops
They're not so expensive! But his is probably some ridiculously overpriced one.
No.734180
>>734176
I'm getting it!
>...
Can you get it.
No.734181
File: 1454135326163.png (537.21 KB, 711x800, 711:800, 151025bf616cb1e1c30449efc2….png)
>>734175
Just don't drag me into this!
>>734177
I don't owe you shit! And get those sacks of fat off my head!
No.734182
File: 1454135477152.png (1.45 MB, 1366x768, 683:384, Metal_gear_venom_snake_leo….png)
>>734179
I picked up a hundred and twenty pack at Costco for fifteen bucks. Best purchase I've ever made.
>>734180
I already told you I'm not getting you your cane. If I do you won't learn to not throw it at the TV
No.734183
>>734177
>in the middle of flipping
What is this sorry excuse for celebration? You won't get any satisfaction just from watching us two geezers!
So drink and be merry!
>>734178
>oof
>Endurance A tho
Ah, I haven't known anyone to use kicks like this!
>leg: grabbed
Let this be the first of many questions concerning our superiority!
>Leg slam
>>734181
Eh? Please please include me, Rider?
Why didn't you just say so!
No.734184
File: 1454135645512.jpg (323.93 KB, 1280x901, 1280:901, tumblr_nw7emiodDd1sapj62o1….jpg)
>>734182
BUT YOU SAW WHAT HE SAID ABOUT US
AM I THE ONLY ONE PISSED OFF HERE?
>rolling over to the cane
This floor is disgusting, why didn't Elvis have to go through this when he would shoot TVs
No.734185
>>734182
That sounds great-
>>734183
>
Haha... it's almost just like her.
>up again
>super soldier endurance
Now...
>Dempsey Roll
>Makunochi Ippo.exe running smoothly
Endure!
No.734186
File: 1454135819274.png (700.82 KB, 713x1000, 713:1000, 89b937a131c4efff80c3a71334….png)
>>734181
How dare you call a lady fat! You owe me double!
>>734183
I didn't bring anything from the shrine! But I'm very merry!
>munching on snacks
No.734187
>>734184
That's my secret Kaz.
I'm always Angry.
Also because he was Elvis. He had people he paid to just lay on the floor for him.
No.734188
>>734183
Dammit I said don't you dare! I just wanted to watch some TV.
>>734186
I didn't call you fat, I just call your... actually never mind. Just stop getting crumbs in my hair!
No.734189
>>734185
Make no mistake, I'm not the person your eyes tell me you think of right now.
I'm Alexander! And I will have your real name upon my victory so that I may still address my opponent as a man-!
>oh jeez what
>knocked on his butt: yes
>blink
Ah...a punch to bring back memories of Issus.
>>734186
Then you'll just have to make do with this meager fare!
And don't let that beanpole have the upper hand, eh?
>>734188
That man there threw a cane into the TV.
The perfect excuse to come join us!
No.734190
File: 1454136239220.png (401.47 KB, 961x1500, 961:1500, tumblr_o0x3g5Fm8j1qmjkgzo1….png)
>>734187
Snake.
We need people to lay on floors for us.
No, no! That's what Trump would want!
No.734191
>>734189
It's time... we take this to the proper level.
This old man you see before you is feeble, a mere shadow of the true self.
Prepare yourself!
>
No.734192
File: 1454136353404.png (774.43 KB, 942x1257, 314:419, 2611bc84feb7a6b70b60085a30….png)
>>734188
I just needed a quick power boost! Fox power!
>>734189
This fox is fired up and ready to rumble!
>backflips off Lancer's shoulders
>holding on to his head with her knees
>"SLAM'
No.734193
File: 1454136402257.jpg (242.76 KB, 661x746, 661:746, 48b10cdd0a7bf4c28da7503443….jpg)
>>734189
Yeah which I was-
>>734192
Heyheywhatthehellare-
>slammed into the ground
>head buried in the ground
>muffled Lancer noises
No.734194
File: 1454136497021.jpg (365.85 KB, 800x707, 800:707, boss5res_by_mstrmagnolia-d….jpg)
>>734190
I bet Trump's carpet is made of living breathing people that work in shifts, laying on the floor.
No.734195
>>734191
Oh?
>shielding his eyes
I'm not a fan of being held out on under ordinary circumstances. But this! These are no ordinary circumstances!
>eyes blazing
>>734192
Eh-
>
...HAHAHAHAHA! Beautiful technique!
>>734193
Oh you'll be fine, you ostrich.
No.734196
>>734195
>
>Snake Eater.mp3
Kept ya waiting, huh?
No.734197
>>734194
I'm not taking this.
Either conduct a mission to Trump's headquarters yourself, or I'll do it.
I've got my own suspicions about the guy, not to mention you never remember to pick up my drycleaning with yours.
No.734198
>>734197
I've already put in my request for my mission gear. Trump is going to learn not to step on our toes.
But in time. You don't go flying blind against Trump. You plan and make him suffer.
No.734199
File: 1454136792978.jpg (77.54 KB, 850x558, 425:279, sample-ee7abfaf82b07e6277f….jpg)
>>734193
>
And now for the finishing move...
>strikes a pose
Eightfold Combo of Amaterasu!
>does an overly fancy eight-strike combination of kicks and punches
Hiyah!
>last of which sends Lancer flying
>>734195
One of the key elements of being an ideal wife is how to lay a beat down.
>fist in hand
>bows to the defeated Lancer
No.734200
>>734195
>muffled "This is entirely your fault"
>>734199
>sent flying into a wall
>sitting dazed against it
No.734201
>>734196
>whoa
Yes. I hope you don't mind if I exact retribution for the delay in my own way.
Keeping something as splendid as this from me! Truly, your nerve alone makes you a worthy opponent!
>t a c k l e
>>734199
>eyebrow raised
>sweat falls in his eye
Gah!
>rubbing it
Looking for matrimony, are we? You surely could pick better wares than that blue clown!
>>734200
Come on, man! You don't plan to sit there and take it, do you?
Take responsibility for the events happening around you and seize opportunity! Or some such!
No.734202
File: 1454137067698.png (226.15 KB, 563x800, 563:800, d087fee43b450a5ec5d9f42b38….png)
>>734198
Right....Ok...
I lost my cool again, Snake. Sorry about that.
No.734203
>>734201
>
>git lifted
Hope you don't mind, it's been a while.
No.734204
>>734202
Its okay Kaz. And I don't forget your dry cleaning. I just don't bother to pick it up.
>fultons away
No.734205
>>734204
Snake? Snake?
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
No.734206
>>734200
I think there's a saying for this...
>>734201
This fox will take no hounds! I still await my one true love to return to me.
>closed eyes
>lovestruck expression
I will wait forever if I have to, Master~
No.734207
File: 1454137481301.jpg (226.16 KB, 817x600, 817:600, d358a7749748070925fbbcc80e….jpg)
>>734201
>shakes his head clear
I got hit by a sneak attack. That wasn't fair at all.
>>734206
Why don't you come over here and tell it!
>diving at her
No.734208
>>734203
>!
Eh...EhahaAHAHAHA!
To be held up so unceremoniously certainly puts some things in perspective!
Even someone like me can humiliated so easily! What a wonderful world!
>>734206
>pffft
You women and your Masters.
But a strong woman shouldn't have to wait for her man, eh?
>>734207
Watch out, boy! You could be hit by a sneak attack at any time!
>cheeky
No.734209
>>734208
>and toss
You're pretty good. But you're no Boss, are you.
>gleam in that eye
It's been too long since I really got to buckle down like this. Let's make it worth it.
>CQC stance
No.734210
File: 1454137890751.jpg (445.41 KB, 821x850, 821:850, ff10264e22dcda8229cb77c8f6….jpg)
>>734207
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog!
>vaults over the memehound
>>734208
I have all eternity, a generation or two is well within my patience. My love will find me, I'm sure of it!
No.734211
File: 1454137959999.jpg (147.49 KB, 385x545, 77:109, 65b6b5a7575ec89290ca5e25d7….jpg)
>>734208
Don't "boy" me, I'm old than you!
>>734210
>crashes into the furniture
Fucking vixen...
No.734212
>>734209
>Spongebob_Falls_Down.gif
Ha! I might just be jealous, to have known this woman you compare to me so often! She must have been the absolute greatest of her age, no wonder she has your undying support!
>pops up
I'm a little slow, so this should last even longer!
>>734210
Resigning yourself to waiting only means that opportunity will pass you by! I can't allow such a disgrace to such a pretty woman!
>>734211
Are you?
>the answer is no
Focus on the task at hand, boy!
No.734213
>>734212
She was the best.
No.734214
>>734211
I beat you once, I can beat you again~
>>734212
Is it truly a disgrace? To lower myself below the standard of my Master would be the true insult to the both of us!
>grinning at the compliment
No.734215
File: 1454138487267.png (443.47 KB, 728x1006, 364:503, 86bd62ce1fb495dd5e8546e242….png)
>>734212
I'm gonna watch TV somewhere else. I didn't sign up for this.
>>734214
>flips her the bird on the way out
No.734216
File: 1454138703564.gif (981.79 KB, 500x281, 500:281, tumblr_mr10sz4mQk1rkeknyo1….gif)
>>734213
The same I felt for old Aristotle, no doubt.
As her student, your obligation is to fulfill her teachings the best way you can, eh?
I won't accept anything less if that's what you've decided for your life.
>RUSH
>lower body grapple
>>734214
You have an unreasonably high opinion of this Master of yours.
So be it! Why listen to a fool like me!
>>734215
Bah, that stuff will rot your brains away!
>grinning
Now video games, those are different.
No.734217
>>734216
>headlock
That's right. But beyond that... my obligation is to fulfill a dream.
No.734218
File: 1454138908506.jpg (138.81 KB, 850x652, 425:326, sample-7a4ab4440bc111a8846….jpg)
>>734215
>flicks a talisman after him
>distant Lancer screaming
>>734216
>settles in a polite kneeling position near the wrasslin'
>suddenly tea set
Perhaps if I were a headstrong Rider like yourself I might.
No.734219
>>734217
A dream?
>pitches forward into a roll
Dreams are not meant to be fulfilled but rather continued for as long as they can.
>Shall I wake you from your ephemeral dream, Rider
Life will never know the kind of sweetness a dream can have, it's for that reason alone that they exist in a place hidden for it.
But that's all just a bunch of nonsense, isn't it?
>>734218
>watch out for rattling teacups
A compliment! I haven't known this kind absolution since my conquest of Tyre!
But you don't believe your Master will come here, eh? You must not have anything better to do if you submit to the vision of this spectacle!
No.734220
>>734219
It's not like a fox can't enjoy a little bit of sport in the meanwhile. Waiting is very boring, you know.
No.734221
>>734219
>rollin' rollin' rollin'
>BB's good at that
>git SLAM
A united world. We'll make it come true, my men and I.
No.734222
>>734220
An invitation to join if I ever heard one!
>~
No one listens to Alexander anymore, eh?
>>734221
>SLAM'd
>he done knocked the Zeus Thunder out of him
>poink
Oi...
>eyes rolling
A united world, huh.
>grins
It wouldn't be very fun to take one nation and be done with, but I'd like to see that if you can do it.
No.734223
>>734222
It'd be one very, very big nation.
>counter-grin
I welcome the challenge.
>hair graying
Time already...
No.734224
>>734222
Foxes are secretly very stubborn.
>pours out a second cup of tea
>offers it
No.734225
>>734223
Man, you haven't even read up on your predecessors, huh.
>crawls into one of the bags
>pops out with a book
>the title is simply "Xenophon"
Read this! Also, changing natural infrastructure that's already in place is dumb.
>>734224
Zeus should have picked foxes instead of eagles!
>!
Oooohhhh.
>cup get
Hot hot hot!
>sip
No.734226
>>734225
Eh? Implying things already?
This old fogey's not as dumb as you think.
It's also not the type of unification you're thinking of.
No.734227
>>734225
>he
>is
>ADORABLE
>sparkle
Majesty does nothing compared to tricks and wiles on the battlefield.
>sip
No.734228
>>734226
Got me! I just wanted to look at it again.
>flipping through
Eh, I figured you were after something like that. But if you ask me, the only thing Aristotle got wrong was democracy.
>nodnod
>>734227
WAHAHA! Yeah?
You got any stories for me, majesty?
No.734229
>>734228
>reaches into his beard
>new suit get
>and dressed
To have been taught by the man himself, I'm a little envious.
>and sitting down with Mini and foxbitties
No.734230
File: 1454140577590.jpg (87.08 KB, 451x640, 451:640, 04a42ee9be5cacdd12e8d4892f….jpg)
>>734228
I was never any good at fighting, that's why I'm a Caster. We have to use underhanded schemes to get anywhere.
>wink
>>734229
Tea for three it is!
>unlimited tea works
No.734231
>>734229
>blink
I gotta see if I can do that...
>sip
He was great! He was a friend of my dad's before he made all the Greeks angry and Aristotle had to go home.
But you can read books about him, eh? Tell me about your teacher.
>>734230
Oi, thinking your story isn't any good 'cause there's no battle in it, how dare you!
>jolts up
I wanna hear about schemes in the night, and magic! I don't think I'd wanna hear about that kind of stuff anywhere else but from the source!
No.734232
>>734230
>
>>734231
Boss was... a hero. She's the "Mother of the Special Forces."
>and then Boss went on for about half an hour about how great Joy was, the Cobra Unit and SNEK EATER
No.734233
>>734231
If you want to talk about my life, I'm afraid it was pretty boring. I was a servant girl for most of it, after all.
>humble smile
>>734232
Now there's a rather exciting life.
No.734234
>>734232
>
>
>
Um...
>rubs his arm
That was a lot more than I thought.
>wipes his eyes
Gah, I hate endings like those.
>>734233
Now you're just making excuses!
You have a life now, eh? Don't you have two daughters or something?
No.734235
>>734233
Ever since I killed The Boss, I was already dead.
>>734234
It had to be done. Otherwise we wouldn't be here, sitting and talking after a fight well had.
Nobody would be. The Russians and Americans would destroy the planet.
I promised myself I wouldn't be a disposable tool like she was. From then on I'd carry out my own dream, rather than hers.
No.734236
File: 1454141634480.jpg (53.46 KB, 422x600, 211:300, 3165c8b62e13621df5137e3b57….jpg)
>>734234
I don't really like telling sad stories.
>looking sad for a second
>brightens at the mention of her daughters
>nods excitedly
I spend a lot of time bothering them!
>>734235
And you still put one foot in front of the other. That's a lot more than most living men could say.
No.734237
>>734235
I'm not really good at this serious stuff.
>shrugs
But I guess being a knight kind of soldier can be alright too, if it means something like that. I'm still happy that you broke away from her, though.
>nodding
She was a great mom, huh.
>>734236
But everyone's telling sad stories now! I really don't get why people like them so much.
>and facepalm
Gah, don't make me think you're hopeless after all that stuff I said to Lancer!
No.734238
>>734236
When you have nothing left to lose, it's a lot easier to keep going with reckless abandon.
Somehow I ended up attracting and building my own armies.
I still can scarcely believe it.
>>734237
She was more than that to me. So much more.
No.734239
File: 1454142302256.jpg (118.76 KB, 600x729, 200:243, 062ba55ac25a30c2f4d42078b0….jpg)
>>734237
Fine, fine. It starts off fairly simply, I incarnated myself as a servant girl to try to observe humans like you better, and caught the attention of the great Emperor Toba.
>sipping at her tea
>continuing on to where the was discovered as a fox by the court
>>734238
So you're going to rush headlong into the fire crying ave maria?
>smiles
I can respect that.
No.734240
>>734238
Then you should be happy you have the memory of such a great woman to carry on! A mother to surpass all mothers!
>grin
My mother...
>
Remembering tragedy just seems like a waste of time.
>>734239
>making designs in the tea leaves
>wiggly fingers over the top like a seer
And they chased you? How come?
No.734241
>>734239
Not anymore. I'm old. Even those few moments of youth don't last long.
Now I raise the next generation of soldiers who are tired of being manipulated by shadowy governments.
>>734240
For some of us, tragedy is all we have.
I have a few stories of glory and conquest, but it's all just hollow.
No.734242
>>734240
A wizard of sorts told the emperor that I was the cause of his sickness, so the emperor who loved me so rallied up warriors from every corner of the country to hunt down the evil fox that I was.
>>734241
And you hope for them to continue your legacy of chaos and violence...
>sips her tea thoughtfully
Is what I hope you're not going to say.
No.734243
>>734241
Wrong, you only let yourself have tragedy. Just like you let your victories end up meaningless.
I lost men every day during my campaign. Sometimes by the dozen, or even hundred.
But I used their memory to help spur the rest of my troops onward. Be mopey like that King of Knights if you want, but don't pretend like you didn't have a choice. You really think she wants you to be sad forever?
>>734242
He believed some old wizard over the girl he loved?
>spits
Bah, this story better get better quick!
No.734244
>>734242
That legacy died a long time ago. I've since redeemed myself.
>>734243
That youthful body's also made your mind more immature. Just as growing old has affected me.
No.734245
File: 1454143230161.jpg (222.68 KB, 850x1202, 425:601, sample-09a74692bad3c4192df….jpg)
>>734243
>shakes her head
When the eighty thousand men finally caught up to me I apologized again and again. But they wouldn't listen to me because they were all out for my hide, so I returned the favour.
>...
And killed all of them.
>>734244
That's what I like to hear! Second chances are always out there for people willing to find it!
No.734246
>>734244
Well I don't have enough mana left over for my Zeus Thunder right now so I guess that's that.
>sip
You better get started on that dream pretty soon, huh. If you want people to treat you like you're old so much, that is.
>>734245
>
>
>
And?
>Mini no
No.734247
>>734245
Eighty thousand...
>thinking
>how many have I put down
>probably somewhere around that
>>734246
I'm already on it. My men are doing their part, as I've done mine.
We'll converge in due time.
No.734248
File: 1454143697266.jpg (135.74 KB, 850x1232, 425:616, sample-81e51e0d67859256959….jpg)
>>734246
>looks at mini blankly
Well of course they thought of me as a bigger monster than before.
>looking into her tea
I appeared in the dreams of one of the leaders, trying to reason with him. But in the end they rained arrows on the fields for three days and nights. And ultimately it was the one I tried to reason with that shot the final arrow into me.
>drip
Humans really aren't an accepting bunch. I wasn't even trying to trick anyone...
>>734247
And that was just the first group.
>forced smile
No.734249
>>734247
I'm kinda surprised Goldie hasn't stepped in yet, going on about uniting "his" world and all that.
I hope you're ready for an endless opponent anyway, no way I'll give up!
>>734248
>!
...Uh.
>sheepish: yes
Me and my big mouth, huh.
Anyway, all this moping still won't get anyone anywhere! I've had enough of it!
>furiously refilling tea
You're gonna tell me that happy attitude you got all the time is fake or something? I wouldn't believe it.
No.734250
>>734248
Sixty years I've been at war with the world, and my body count's only maybe slightly more than that.
>
My personal one at least. I haven't stopped to count every life my men have taken.
>>734249
I'll fight anyone who opposes me. At least it's not an unworthy opponent.
No.734251
File: 1454144528059.jpg (743.94 KB, 965x1200, 193:240, 20bc15e6473dc737e361947bb7….jpg)
>>734249
Moping is highly unbecoming of a lady, I'll have you know. It never gets anyone anywhere.
>!
Don't pour tea so violently! My poor teapot can't take that much abuse!
>>734250
Sixty years?! I was at war with what felt like the world for nearly a week and I'm already weary of it.
No.734252
>>734250
Making it sound like you already won, you know.
Sounds like something my dad would do.
>>734251
Better late than never!
>spilling
>tea is eeeeverywhere
Uh, what won't kill will make it stronger! Or something!
>hands the overflowing cup
No.734253
>>734251
Fighting is the only thing I'm good at.
>>734252
We'll just have to see how an ancient army of ten thousand fares against a modern one.
Ah... but it's time to go.
>attaches a fulton
>balloon filling
Don't be a stranger.
>fwip
No.734254
File: 1454144814175.jpg (117.31 KB, 850x849, 850:849, sample-dab866f9b581ebb4fe6….jpg)
>>734252
>screaming internally
My tea, my tea! My beautiful homebrew is everywhere!
>[DESPAIR]
>>734253
So that's what a hot air balloon ride is.
>back to more [DESPAIR]
No.734255
>>734253
For some reason I don't really think he meant that.
I wonder if he'll get mad that we took some food from his place.
>watching the balloon sail away
Ooooooo!
>>734254
It's fine, don't worry about it!
>tea soaking into his tabard
Oh no, my tabard!
>wait
>folds an end of it up
>sucking the tea out
You're a genius!
No.734257
>rolls out from a pile of bottles
M'fuckin'...
No.734258
>>734256
Those are classified.
No.734259
File: 1454145310086.jpg (113.55 KB, 600x557, 600:557, 4baba73d8bdbb3f48b8186650d….jpg)
>>734255
>cleaning off the spilled tea on her robes
You're a little better than my grandson at least. He's still a bit clumsy.
No.734260
>>734258
Not anymore.
>>734257
And I thought I had a rough night.
No.734261
>>734260
You're not ready to assume the responsibilities of a real Arab, Todd.
For one thing, your beard can only be described as major suckitude.
Now compare.
>pats his own cheeks
>FLASHPAN to slightly dark peach fuzz
>[spanish guitar]
No.734262
>>734259
A little!? Alexander isn't a little anything!
>standing approximately 4'9"
....Eh, whatever. You got a grandson?
No.734263
File: 1454145579570.gif (763.76 KB, 500x281, 500:281, tumblr_na488dnP1C1shbc9ho1….gif)
>>734260
Fuckin' fuck fuck f-
>finger up
>leans over
>puking noises
Fuck.
>itches her stomach
So when's breakfast, huh. The fuck long I been out.
No.734264
File: 1454145622984.jpg (118.99 KB, 724x965, 724:965, ee44d33f2a975041697229ac3c….jpg)
>>734262
>nods proudly
A cute little half blood~
No.734265
>>734261
I don't give a damn. Swearing in different languages is fun.
>
Beard's not my thing.
>>734263
>uh
>half-eaten burrito
>offering
Made it myself.
>
Judging from the smell and stains, maybe a night or two.
No.734266
>>734264
Oi, you mean Saber and that lady weren't the first to uh-
>Alexander: famously uncomfortable with sex
Well I don't think I ever had any kids, so I definitely don't got any grandkids. What's it like?
No.734267
File: 1454145926250.jpg (159.99 KB, 900x1366, 450:683, damian and some punk bitch….jpg)
>>734265
An excuse made by an infidel.
>uh
I mean, idiot.
Besides, the point of swearing is that people can understand you. I'm the only one who can speak Arab-
>squint
You think you're so clever.
No.734268
>>734265
Breakfast without a cigarette? Fuckin' killing me here, Jay.
>smoke trail left behind the burrito was eaten so fast
Got a problem?
No.734269
>>734267
>
Qalab wighek, Kos Omak.
>>734268
Bummin' food and deathsticks off me? Damn, I should charge.
>flicks a stogie her way
You could use a shower, Rev.
No.734270
File: 1454146097274.png (569.24 KB, 698x800, 349:400, f2529a0f29b2b25de43102797a….png)
>>734266
Well I wouldn't know either, I'm basically having to raise him by myself.
>zero sarcasm laughter
He's quite nervous around others, since growing up in a shrine isn't exactly the best place for socializing children. But he has a gift for learning, almost as much as his aunt.
No.734271
>>734269
Easa hatta alkhass bik alqadib hufratan , wa'ana 'akhadh alshshawkulatih alkhassat bik
>Minivanish
No.734272
>>734269
Little more concerned why you didn't fuckin' wake me up for two days instead of my particular goddamn smell. The hell you been doing, sittin' in the middle of the room jacking off all that time?
>...
>pit lifted
>sniff
Yeah awright, fuck.
No.734273
>>734271
Ha. He's mad I found his secret club.
>>734272
I've been killing people outta town, ya weirdo. What, you said you don't want me to watch you.
>christ
>puff
No.734274
>>734270
Sounds like you're looking for an escape, where's his mom?
>uh
>Casko children
>fox
>???
Aunt, huh.
No.734275
>>734273
Don't gotta tell me what I said, asshole.
>guh
>strugglan up
Didn't invite me to any of the goddamn fun, piece a shit...
>shambling into the bathroom
No.734276
File: 1454146556375.png (779.15 KB, 970x1300, 97:130, e688040b199c05e3c324cac736….png)
>>734274
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it. Raising a child is an ideal skill for a wife to have. Have you met either of my daughters?
No.734277
>>734275
Big girl needs her blackout.
>sheesh
>dicking around with a carton of ciggies
No.734278
>>734276
You're pretty in love with being a wife, huh.
I hate saying the same thing over and over, but that's not all there is, you know?
I had an ancestor that knew a lady that was obsessed with being a wife too, and then she got betrayed.
>turns to the camera
And we all know how that one ended, I think.
>
Nope! I didn't know any of us had families except for Saber.
No.734279
>>734277
>[intense showering]
>30 minutes later
>cloud of steam exits the back
Man's greatest inventions were gunpowder and hot water in that order, fuckin' quote me.
No.734280
>>734279
Hot sauce in there somewhere.
No.734281
>>734280
Hot sauce?
What kinda lame-o yuppie response is that?
What's next, fucking grease paper?
No.734282
File: 1454147042693.png (2.09 MB, 826x1600, 413:800, f3f7173db36a203d9180453872….png)
>>734278
After being hunted down I went back to my spirit form and just lay low for a few centuries and found two struggling spirits wandering the fields where I died.
No.734283
>>734281
Thanagarian death pepper.
No.734284
>>734282
See, now that sounds like a good story!
I guess I'll have to come visit that temple of yours at some point huh. Or you can come visit us!
>
>hmm
>picks up his own biography again
I just wanna see-
>
Oh.
No.734286
File: 1454147320358.jpg (132.96 KB, 800x1131, 800:1131, 586da50ee0cd6789034ebc676f….jpg)
>>734284
Hm? What's wrong?
>peeking at the book
No.734287
>>734285
What'd you think when I said hot sauce? Weak shit's not good shit.
Go to an alien black market for the good shit.
Death peppers numb your mouth after but goddamn.
No.734288
>>734286
I guess I had two, but I don't remember one and the other wasn't born yet when I died.
>turning the book over
Maybe I'd remember if I was big...
>shrug
Oh well, other people still have families, eh?
No.734289
>>734287
God if I wasn't still kinda drunk and not sure if I didn't tell you go fuck yourself already, I'd say it again.
Fuck it, you're a goddamn idiot.
>guh
Alien black market my ass, you tryin' to screw with me?
No.734290
>>734289
Funny part about shacking up with the guy who dated Starfire: spaceship.
Too bad she split.
Still, we got a small ship to take for a joyride.
Wanna go for a spin?
No.734291
>>734288
What matters most is that your children ended up living happy lives, no matter the path they took. Perhaps you should seek their resting places out.
No.734292
File: 1454147824080.jpg (189.95 KB, 1280x853, 1280:853, tumblr_n963a7Fy271shwicno1….jpg)
>>734290
First thing in the evening and I gotta deal with your dumbass telling you fucked a spaceship out of some alien bitch. Fuckin' hell.
>
>brap
Yeah, let's bounce.
No.734293
>>734292
>
Good, 'cause we're kinda already in it and I didn't wanna waste the opportunity.
>Jay how
No.734294
>>734291
>turns another page
>Alexander IV: assassinated
>Heracles of Macedon: assassinated
...Um.
>
So! Daughters, huh?
No.734295
>>734293
>claustrophobia: yes
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!
No.734296
>>734295
I'm sitting right here, dude. What?
No.734297
>>734294
>uh
>UH
>move on Tamamo move on you got this
One fox and one cat, yes!
No.734298
File: 1454148147694.jpg (129.98 KB, 547x464, 547:464, 019cdd9010312ca8f614bdeb6d….jpg)
>>734296
I CAN'T FUCKIN' BREATHE IN HERE MAN YOU'RE TRYING TO FUCKIN' KILL ME, AREN'T YOU
No.734300
>>734297
>sage nodding
>tosses the book into a convenient fireplace
That's about enough of that.
How's a cat get on with a fox mom? Aren't you kinda like a dog?
No.734302
>>734301
>enjoy those probably broken collarbones
Stop.
No.734303
File: 1454148429496.png (584.65 KB, 855x438, 285:146, 31fffd6f83564b5d254cc4b6e4….png)
>>734302
>
Oh.
My mistake.
>just kinda
>slowly pitches backwards
>[screaming internally]
No.734304
>>734300
Imagine the way a duckling would attach itself to the nearest being and see it as its mother. Those two were so very young, I couldn't help myself.
No.734305
>>734303
It's not even that full.
>straps her in the co-pilot seat
>and the floor opens up
>all those canisters now falling out
>they're bombs
Did I do that?
>hatches: closed
No.734306
>>734304
I guess that makes sense. It doesn't sound as fun though.
>visions of Tom and Jerry chases
You sound like a pretty good mom, too. You should be proud! After all that tragedy, a way to redeem yourself!
But not everything's gonna come if you wait like that, y'know.
>wink
No.734307
>>734305
>
Why the fucking alien ship have WWII FUCKING CLUSTER BOMBS IN IT
No.734308
File: 1454148899801.jpg (794.47 KB, 1487x1148, 1487:1148, 68b5c9409b32d712b796e8c3e8….jpg)
>>734306
Kya! Such a young man thinking nasty thoughts! You mustn't!
No.734309
>>734307
Tamaranean spigot mines. Nasty stuff. I love it.
No.734310
File: 1454149058011.jpg (76.36 KB, 1280x788, 320:197, tumblr_nb45tssFWW1sllbfso1….jpg)
>nailed by one of Jay's fucking mines
Augh!
No.734311
>>734308
Nasty?
I think that's called projection, Caster.
>gleam
'Sides, I don't really care about that kinda stuff.
>unless it involves conquering
No.734312
File: 1454149203740.jpg (67.03 KB, 500x571, 500:571, tumblr_nj2ugrjja91rl3cy0o1….jpg)
>>734309
You're gonna have to show me this whore you dumped so I can kick her ass mysel-
>>734310
>looks out
...Pfffthahaha.
No.734313
>>734312
She was going out with Harper, not me.
I was just in it for the crazy tech.
No.734314
File: 1454149330795.jpg (743.94 KB, 965x1200, 193:240, 20bc15e6473dc737e361947bb7….jpg)
>>734311
>peeking out from behind her fingers
Just conquering for you, huh? I guess you and that crazy pirate are suited for each other.
No.734315
>>734313
I'm a bitch but I'm not stupid, Jay.
You were the fuckin' side project, huh. You whipped shit.
No.734316
File: 1454149527645.jpg (106.77 KB, 757x588, 757:588, tumblr_nqxcdqGhyg1tp6u3to1….jpg)
>>734315
You overestimate my giving a damn about getting laid.
Sweet new guns always take priority.
>
Oh man you gotta see this one I nabbed off a dead asshole on Battleworld, it's sick.
No.734317
>>734314
She's great! I haven't met anyone else that kinda gets it.
What's a conqueror want with an heir that might surpass him, y'know?
>hmm
Eh, maybe I'll do you a favor and look for somebody even an old fox could appreciate. How about it?
No.734318
>>734316
Don't gotta explain obvious shit to me.
>kicks back in the dickey seat
>beer popped
We're in a spaceship, Jay. If there's a better time to show off your stupid new gun, I'll eat my own fuckin' tit.
No.734319
>>734318
It's called a cerebral bore.
Shoots a neural wave seeking drill that carves its way into the brain and explodes.
No.734320
File: 1454149803770.jpg (119.13 KB, 850x677, 850:677, sample-f2f721ff86da7c27ae5….jpg)
>>734317
I'm not sure what I've done to earn such a favour, but if you think it's worth your time I'll gladly follow along.
No.734321
>>734320
Well you don't gotta sound so surprised!
>Sword of the Kupriotes
>slash
Bucephalus!
>WHINNY
But I should be getting back. Don't cry anymore, ok? It doesn't let your face shine!
>rides off
No.734322
>>734319
>
Sounds like some Predator shit, let 'er rip!
No.734323
>>734322
>aims it outside
>BLAM
No.734325
>>734323
>>734324
Ohoho, now that's fucking metal.
No.734326
>>734325
Right? Saving it 'cause I only nabbed one and can't figure out how to reload or unload it.
No.734327
>>734326
So let's go find this bitch and find out, you idiot!
>I need to see if she's hot or not too
No.734328
File: 1454150453402.png (239.88 KB, 314x398, 157:199, look, all I'm saying is yo….png)
>>734327
Kori? Sheesh.
Guess a visit won't kill'er.
>zoom
No.734329
File: 1454150632831.png (767.78 KB, 690x974, 345:487, 477c64b8af6cd3950de00d0861….png)
>>734321
Maybe it is good to come here once in awhile...
>smiling joyfully
Looks like I'll be meeting a darling soon enough~
>vanishes in a whirl of talismans