No.735544
>Nobody likes you
>everyone left you
>they're all out without you
>having fun
No.735546
>idling on her phone
Wow... people really have no shame these days.
No.735547
>>735546
>I am Asian but I am not working
>Do I tell him this...?
>Emailings is so complicated these days
No.735548
File: 1454423811038.jpg (260.26 KB, 765x1080, 17:24, 117bb51af7d598c41dcf249918….jpg)
>>735547
>uh
>uh
>this is awkward
I can feel you breathing down my neck...
No.735549
>>735548
Eh?
>Turns from the banged up Hall of Doom PC
I am surry, I get the clammies when I check my spams.
>An audio ad starts to play
>"ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION MEDICATION HALF OFF-"
I CAN PRE-FORMING JUST FINE THANK YOU COM-PUTER
No.735550
>>735549
that was my bad for understanding wrong
You check your spam?
No.735551
>>735550
It says if I do-nut reply, my families and friends will be attack by ghost peoples and skelly-tons...!
>Sends out the chain letter again
Phew...they are safe.
No.735552
File: 1454426314347.jpg (403.71 KB, 800x878, 400:439, 4b334d34b2a6a28f5564651cd8….jpg)
>>735551
>blink
>blinkblink
>rubrub
I cannot believe my eyes.
No.735553
>>735552
>Gasps
Oh no, are you of needing glasses?
>Holds up four fingers
How many of this am I showing you? Do you see a blurring?
No.735554
File: 1454426841698.jpg (339.54 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, 2d2ea1687c46f42ecb1a101813….jpg)
>>735553
No, no it's fine I just... I can't believe you actually sent a chain mail... We need to educate you, fast. And for that, we need a major nerd.
>inhales
LANCER!
No.735556
>>735554
>Technology was always my worst subject...
>Suddenly seated at a tiny kindergarten desk, knees squashed right into her
Will a nerd be making the best teacher...?
No.735557
File: 1454427521079.jpg (330.14 KB, 800x1049, 800:1049, 4fe52690924ac84842e2c51cf7….jpg)
>>735555
>cackles to herself
>>735556
>Ahri no that's not an appropriate teaching outfit
Well I suppose even I can teach you proper email etiquette.
>sparks flying down her tongue
Shortcut: Blackboard!
>a blackboard suddenly appears
Right, let's begin.
>and Ahri led a lesson for 30 minutes on how to not fuck up emails
No.735558
>>735557
>But sensei that's lewd
>Tries to keep up with the grade school level lesson, scribbling messy moonrune notes
So I do not having a brother in Nigeria who is a prince...?
No.735559
>>735558
No, no you do not. And there's no snail who will appear on your screen to tell you who likes you.
No.735560
>>735559
B-but...!
>He doesn't like me
>;_;
I am understanding, Ahri-san. Thank you.
No.735561
File: 1454429407619.jpg (214.6 KB, 300x634, 150:317, 54bcfbc37752736713e88fa8d6….jpg)
>>735560
If you want a guy to like you there's better ways of finding out, anyway. Just don't let me catch you sending any more chain letters.
No.735562
>drawing moon symbols onto a calendar
No.735563
File: 1454429901737.jpg (1.02 MB, 981x1200, 327:400, 58e7dea3c85f7c19d63f4dcf12….jpg)
>>735562
I didn't take you for the type to get a cat calendar. Though I probably shouldn't be surprised.
No.735564
>>735563
>sighs
Knew somebody would say that sooner or later. Didn't think it'd be you.
No.735565
>>735564
She's my sister, of course I'd notice something like this. So why are you marking the calendar?
No.735566
>>735565
I'm tryin' to keep track of what phase the moon'll be in every night. Need to remember when I'll have powers backing me up.
No.735567
>>735566
That awfully cautious of you. Are you feeling alright?
No.735568
>>735567
>smile
Jeez. You worry about me when I'm too reckless, and now you're worried because I'm trying to play it safe.
No.735569
File: 1454431360419.jpg (315.44 KB, 550x465, 110:93, 2f347a91ff99d05175ac9e4f19….jpg)
>>735568
It's disturbingly out of character. But, I guess this is an improvement. It's much better than you going out and getting yourself beaten up.
No.735570
>>735569
...Guess it wouldn't help if I told you I'm usually covered in bandages under this suit.
No.735571
>>735570
>annoyed expression
>sudden straight fingered jab to the ribs
No.735572
File: 1454431860722.jpg (289.38 KB, 900x1165, 180:233, This looks like a job for ….jpg)
>>735571
>winces a little
Hey! What was that for?
No.735573
>>735572
Now I'm wondering about all the times when you've been injured right under my nose.
>pops into a nurse outfit
>annoying poking and prodding
No.735574
>>735573
>he's not reacting very much
>but it's still enough to tell something's wrong
It's not like I can't deal with the pain.
>
...Is the nurse outfit really necessary?
No.735575
>>735574
I'm secretly hoping Ragna walks in right now, he's really into nurses, I think.
>doodling on a clipboard
I get the whole "mind over matter" thing but ignoring pain doesn't make injuries go away.
No.735576
File: 1454432992500.jpg (239.57 KB, 800x533, 800:533, Keep your hands where I ca….jpg)
>>735575
To be fair, I heal pretty fast. I just get injured faster.
>
I would think Ragna would be more focused on the person wearing the nurse outfit than the outfit itself. But what do I know?
No.735577
File: 1454433264019.png (546.65 KB, 1007x980, 1007:980, d93678b68835b04e4b2a56abde….png)
>>735576
>glowy healy hands go
I was excited to show him a special outfit yesterday and I mentioned how I was originally planning to serve him breakfast in the outfit but I was too excited and what does he say?
>perfect imitation voice
"Well breakfast's on you now, right?"
>rassumfrassum
No.735578
>>735577
>can you feel how much he's relaxing yet Ahri
>MK's been hiding a lot of injuries
...Maybe he just didn't know how to handle the situation. I wouldn't take it personally.
No.735579
>>735578
>tails swishing irritably
I hope that's the case. I mean, the initial reaction was good, the follow through just not so much.
No.735580
>>735579
He'll figure out what you what from him eventually.
>hug
Thanks, by the way. I probably should've asked you to heal me sooner.
No.735581
File: 1454434212266.png (342.55 KB, 404x510, 202:255, tumblr_static_bc0aze43chs0….png)
>>735580
>grinning
It's nice to know at least one person does appreciate me around here.
>tails swishing happily
You're still stupid for running around in the state that you were in.
No.735582
File: 1454434600858.png (636.17 KB, 554x624, 277:312, Moon Knight reacts to Legi….png)
>>735581
Maybe you're right, but if I just sat around and waited for stuff to heal, I wouldn't be able to keep you out of trouble.
No.735583
File: 1454434800913.png (573.47 KB, 707x1000, 707:1000, 8c8f8417e1c7a5e9ac56165df1….png)
>>735582
Don't make me out to be some damsel in distress! I'm capable all by myself you know. I mean I've survived by myself this long.
No.735584
File: 1454435201081.png (682.22 KB, 907x1232, 907:1232, What most of leeg thinks a….png)
>>735583
Funny, that sounds like something I would say right before going out and getting hurt.
>Moonman you cheeki cunt
Great minds think alike, I guess.
No.735585
>>735584
You're gonna jinx it you know.
>gets up towards the kitchen
I'm going to get us some tea so just sit tight and-
>webm
No.735586
File: 1454435475132.jpg (264.65 KB, 1000x847, 1000:847, Moonman watches you sleep.jpg)
>>735585
...Would it be mean if I said I saw that coming?
No.735587
File: 1454435592301.jpg (97.09 KB, 800x723, 800:723, ea56e61d730c4f0645c81beb7d….jpg)
>>735586
>stays lying face down
I hear so much as a giggle from you and you're going to find yourself very on fire.
No.735588
>>735587
You really do worry too much if you think I'm going to laugh at you over that.
>helps her up
No.735589
File: 1454436031187.jpg (64.44 KB, 508x720, 127:180, 12360298_10201168416048158….jpg)
>>735588
It's a fox's natural pride, of course I'm going to worry!
>dusts herself off
>gracious bow
Thank you, kindly knight.
No.735590
>>735589
"Kindly?" That's a new one.
No.735591
What a foolish gift...
>being lifted up by a helium balloon
No.735592
I almost miss Sakuya. That library was impressive. But a suicidal Master... I lost too many already.
>
It's nice and quiet. This is nice.
No.735593
File: 1454446794734.gif (779.83 KB, 540x304, 135:76, tumblr_nqoaef3NxF1rdfsmyo2….gif)
>mmhuhwuzzat
>OH GOD THE LIGHT
>IT BURNS
No.735595
>>735594
>TSSSSSSSSSSSS
>
>blink
Fuckin' hell, musta read too many creepy stories before bed.
Am-scray, fucknuts. You're not real.
No.735596
>>735595
Usually I'm the one hallucinating people that aren't there.
No.735597
File: 1454447222799.gif (973.63 KB, 500x392, 125:98, tumblr_nbrcujnlb61shbc9ho1….gif)
>>735596
Did I fuckin' stutter?
Nah, better question. Don't you got Predators to be hunting or some shit?
Bahahaha.
>yawn
Man, fuckin sleepin' on that boat with those two morons, how gay can you get.
No.735598
>>735597
>why do I always get the abrasive ones
>at least I'm not hallucinating
>I think
Yautja, huh... you mean they're here?
More killer aliens. Great.
No.735599
>>735598
The hell'd you just call me?
>incomprehension=insult
>who do I always get the dumbasses
>at least I'm not drunk
>I think
Sound real fuckin' happy there, chief. Forget the Ritalin?
No.735600
>>735599
Nothing, unless you're a seven foot tall alien with a tendency to rip skulls off for trophies.
>
You're the one talking about hallucinations, not me.
>nah, I don't wanna deal with this
Might as well take a look around then.
>stomps off
No.735601
File: 1454447776075.png (112.06 KB, 500x408, 125:102, tumblr_nr54fwk4qC1qksyrko1….png)
>rassum frassum old man fucking hate him gonna kill him
No.735602
>>735600
Piece a' fuckin' work.
>>735601
>who in the
Hey fuckhead, leave enough electricity to keep the lights going, huh.
No.735603
>>735602
Bah. What would you know?
>scribbling in a notebook
No.735604
File: 1454448219894.png (72.78 KB, 500x293, 500:293, tumblr_namx6g1iCh1tu9bwyo1….png)
>>735603
I know a Limey prick that could use a couple'a fuckin' holes in him.
>snatches the notebook
S'this, gonna pass notes to your girlfriend?
That ain't allowed in class, my man.
No.735605
File: 1454448272482.jpg (341.94 KB, 960x1028, 240:257, tumblr_n988m1AFpn1skswj8o1….jpg)
>>735604
>bitch
>CQC: yes
>git bodied
And who the bloody hell do you think you are? Stupid woman, know your place!
No.735606
>>735605
>oof
>wind knocked out: yes
>[heavy breathing]
...gkkt.
>holding a pin
>but where's the grenade?
No.735607
>>735606
You're nothing. Not even a fox. How utterly disappointing.
>we just don't know
No.735608
File: 1454448864636.jpg (258.6 KB, 1024x1303, 1024:1303, d49dfa844c1d623927bf76b55f….jpg)
>>735607
Nah, but I saw a couple hot fox bitches if that's what does it for ya.
>reaching into her shirt
>grenade get
>lever held together by TITTY POWERRRR
Might have to fuckin' raincheck it!
>fling
No.735609
File: 1454448952768.jpg (131.88 KB, 500x706, 250:353, tumblr_nlff18D7TS1tg07vxo1….jpg)
>>735608
>just kinda catches the 'nade
>bitch I only job to two people and they're fucking super soldiers
>hucks it behind him
Tricky little minx. Maybe there's a speck of worth somewhere in you after all.
No.735610
>>735609
>but that was my best trick
STOP CALLING ME FUCKIN ANIMALS YOU WEIRDO
>leap
No.735611
>>735610
>and
>
Enough! You're no Big Boss. If you really want to die that badly, go eat a bullet.
No.735612
>>735611
>ow my ribs
So you know that fucker, huh.
Still gotta kill him...
No.735613
File: 1454449452202.png (73.76 KB, 500x401, 500:401, tumblr_ntbejiv5gB1rbrgo3o1….png)
>>735612
...What? No. I'm going to kill him. He's my father.
No.735614
>>735613
Fuck that, he killed a hot Russian lady I like.
I'm gonna kill him.
No.735615
File: 1454449586836.png (220.72 KB, 483x750, 161:250, tumblr_nk3f7ciQ5m1swy3xho1….png)
>>735614
Not if I kill him first!
No.735616
>>735615
WELL I'LL JUST HAVE TO FUCKIN KILL HIM FIRST THEN, HUH
No.735617
>>735616
I WON'T GIVE YOU THE OPPORTUNITY, NOBODY DESERVES TO KILL HIM MORE THAN ME
No.735618
File: 1454449854577.jpg (179.6 KB, 850x638, 425:319, sample-28981114975812ae7b1….jpg)
>>735617
GOOD THING I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THEN
>kicks him in the dsolar plexus
No.735619
>>735618
YOU BITCH!
>and on the ground
...
>and back up
GAH, FORGET THE POINTLESS COMPETITION WE BOTH WANT HIM DEAD, WORK WITH ME OR DIE
No.735620
File: 1454449962700.jpg (191.09 KB, 850x1270, 85:127, sample-be53139997efa4d1608….jpg)
>>735619
HOW'S THE FUCKING PAY
No.735621
File: 1454450004393.png (394.31 KB, 900x511, 900:511, tumblr_o0kxd9zofm1uixh6ho1….png)
>>735620
I'VE A LITERAL FORTUNE SET ASIDE FOR JUST THIS ONE THING, NAME YOUR PRICE
No.735622
>>735621
>wait really
>uh
One hundred...thousand...
No.735624
File: 1454450372925.jpg (166.68 KB, 530x665, 106:133, 19c54b7697eaf69b718aa288fe….jpg)
No.735625
File: 1454450415100.png (246.96 KB, 500x439, 500:439, tumblr_n8otls6jUU1sukdluo1….png)
>>735624
There's no such number as one hundred thousand million, you idiot.
No.735626
the fuck? how long has this thing been here!?
No.735627
>>735625
Bullshit you stingy fuck!
>>735626
AHahaha, you slept next to a dead body.
No.735628
File: 1454450598578.png (290.14 KB, 478x370, 239:185, tumblr_nzs1rxznKY1uj0ll8o3….png)
>>735627
Stin... I should kill you where you stand, harlot!
No.735629
>>735627
I sleep in a pile of dead bodies, this is one I left to deliver a message
No.735630
File: 1454450768246.jpg (93.67 KB, 850x554, 425:277, sample-0d0bc692b739a2a3b0f….jpg)
>>735628
WHO YA CALLIN A HARRY POTTER, MOTHERFUCK
>>735629
Message?
No.735631
>>735630
yes! I forbid my sister-in-law from seeing Lancer!
No.735632
>>735630
I don't have time for this.
>leaps away
No.735633
File: 1454450938745.jpg (298.04 KB, 500x835, 100:167, 1325d54408e041e8e64fe5d912….jpg)
>>735631
Uh...?
Who fuckin' cares, man.
She hot?
>>735632
HA
No.735635
>>735633
I care because Bootyshorts, it's part of my plan to hook them up!.....and she looks like Milly only with out the sexy face
No.735636
File: 1454451082086.jpg (356.11 KB, 850x841, 850:841, sample_1fcce3a638e47f9d38b….jpg)
>>735634
>REEEEEEEEEEE
>>735635
So what's the point of keepin' 'em apart, huh?
This ain't Romeo and whoever that bitch was.
No.735638
>>735636
JULLLAAAY-et, and that's the point, both will rebel to what I want
No.735639
>>735637
>yeah not dealing with this shit today
>>735638
I dunno man, sounds fuckin' stupid to me.
Show a dude a pretty face, he'll wander around like some dumbass puppy.
No.735640
File: 1454451337493.jpg (195.66 KB, 615x727, 615:727, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>735639
it's more for her too and so I can get my down stairs back
No.735641
>>735639
>that's what I thought
>off Boss goes
No.735642
I should do something to impress Master...
No.735643
>>735640
Your house sounds kinda fucked up, man.
>hot chicks tho
>HMMMMMMMM
Why not just drug em or some shit.
>>735641
>gkkt
>runs off
No.735644
File: 1454451600884.jpg (121.07 KB, 571x605, 571:605, Carnage-marvel-comics-1465….jpg)
>>735643
I used up all my drugs after watching Carnosaur!
No.735645
Red! My eye's all fucked up, goin' to go get it fixed.
No.735646
>>735645
fine be home by dinner
No.735647
File: 1454453724565.jpg (117.16 KB, 1024x724, 256:181, hulk_vs_juri_by_magion02-d….jpg)
>>735646
Tell Juri to go for dark meat this time. I gotta find that science cat lady since you and I kinda killed Seth.
>struts off
No.735649
Man it's been a while. Wonder if it got any less absolutely terrible.
>sniff sniff
Well, the Nazi cat's gone. That's a good sign. Because I ate him.
No.735650
They took Kaz... those bastards.
No.735651
>>735650
Kaz? KAZ! NO! NO NOT KAZ! KKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZ!!!!
which one is Kaz again?
No.735652
>>735651
I don't have time for this.
>fultons himself away
No.735653
File: 1454465532347.jpg (225.33 KB, 982x1222, 491:611, ryan-reynolds-goes-unmaske….jpg)
>>735652
Okay then...
Looks like I'm all by myself now.
.....
ALL BY MYSEEEEEEELLLLLEEEEEEFFFF. DONT WANT TO BE....ALLL BY MYSEEEELF.
ANYMORE
No.735654
>whittling a log of dead wood from outside
No.735655
>holding a stack of young Barry's homework assignments
>doodling a big old dick over all the answers
HAHAHAHAHA
No.735657
>>735656
What the hell is that.
No.735658
>>735657
Embarrassing, absolutely embarrassing.
>flips down
You mean you don't recognize me?
No.735659
File: 1454466549192.jpg (125.25 KB, 755x363, 755:363, tumblr_n8xckmYqoQ1rtuqolo1….jpg)
>>735658
>Griffith: no
I don't know you.
No.735660
>>735659
You don't?
Are you suuuuuuuuuuuuuure?
Because you should, I'm there for everyone at the start of their journey.
No.735661
>>735660
>god: maybe
>urge to punch in the face: high
Whaddo you want, old man.
No.735662
>comes out with popcorn
Oh hey. People are here. Hopefully they arent fans of the orville
No.735663
>>735661
It's not about what I want, it's about what you want.
You've been playing for such a long time, are you sure you don't want to save?
No.735664
>>735663
>what
>just returns to whittling
No.735665
>>735662
Aren't you shilling just a little too hard?
>>735664
Don't you have anything better to do with your time?
No.735666
>>735665
I have a movie coming out in 10 days. I really should be shilling harder
No.735667
>>735665
You're the one wasting my time, old man.
No.735668
>>735666
You've made all the right calls, all you have to do is sit back and wait.
Though the underage demographic you're targeting won't be able to see your testicular cancer PSA without asking mommy first.
>>735667
Are you a boy or a girl?
No.735670
>>735668
They won't be able to see my movie, even after asking mommy. Maybe a Step Dad or Step Mom trying to seem cool.
No.735671
>>735669
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT
I'm wearing a Nazi armband, that means you have to try me for war crimes first!
And that will take several mooooooooooonths!
>>735670
Have you seen the divorce rates?
No.735672
>>735671
Pretty sure that just means it's perfectly okay to kill you.
So I think I will.
No.735673
>>735672
Dear Arceus, the game has become reality.
...Or was it always reality. That's always been a bit fuzzy.
The point is you can't kill me because Pokemon can't die.
No.735674
File: 1454467932811.png (173.29 KB, 711x559, 711:559, UH OH LEVELS AT CRITICAL M….png)
>>735673
>
Then I'll just have to keep trying now won't I.
No.735675
File: 1454467938650.jpg (303.58 KB, 2728x1503, 2728:1503, why-the-2016-deadpool-movi….jpg)
>>735671
No mister Pikachu Man. I have not. But what I have seen is that Spencers Gifts is the best place to go to get a gift for the gross stoner or weirldy sexual friend. Spencers, we're Hot Topic for stoners!
No.735676
>>735674
Now I know what you're probably thinking.
"Should I chop off his head."
And the answer might surprise you.
>>735675
I am Professor Pikachu. Ash got diabetes in addition to his slough of other physical deformities, so I had to evolve and get a job.
I don't recommend working for Spencer's, none of the sex games are any fun.
No.735678
>>735676
I don't call anyone Professor unless they have the certification to prove it.
Or are in a wheelchair.
Nothing is fun at spencers. Their Hot Topics older brother who never learned how to deal with how weird he was so he smokes pot, binge drinks and makes terrible sex jokes
No.735679
>>735677
>falls over
>Professor Pikachu has fainted
>Professor Pikachu's Leppa Berry restored health!
Rude.
>>735678
There's a terrible legend, that of one who owns the most Spencers stock in the world.
A movie icon, he exists solely for fart jokes. They call him...Adam Sandler.
No.735681
>>735679
>shakes his head
Adam Sandler. The boy who never grew up, but wants people to think he did
No.735682
>>735680
>who's writing the rules here
>
You can't attack, I'm looking through my ITEMS.
>>735681
Just how long can you wear jams shorts past your 30s?
No.735683
>>735682
Like I give a fuck!
No.735685
File: 1454469087785.jpg (993.2 KB, 1080x1918, 540:959, 3055514-poster-j-1-deadpoo….jpg)
>>735682
There is an age limit on jam shorts? What about hammer pants? This important. I need to know this
>>735684
Hey look, a Dracula without a terrible fashion sense
No.735686
>>735683
PUT YOUR CONTROLLER ON THE FLOOR
>>735685
Hammer pants are punishable by death where I'm from.
Either that or you get your own spinoff title, it depends.
No.735687
File: 1454469201877.png (561.46 KB, 549x890, 549:890, tumblr_nzl1nzJvFL1rfrzlio2….png)
>>735685
Hey look, a Deadpool who isn't utter garbage! That's nice for once.
>
Cookie? It's people flavored.
No.735688
File: 1454469268133.gif (938.84 KB, 500x277, 500:277, tumblr_n4makjmdEM1tzixowo1….gif)
No.735689
>>735688
Hey, you can't flee a Trainer battle! Hey!
...Oh well, another feature we'll have to clean up for the mobile release.
No.735690
>>735686
What about if its for the purpose of smashing someone with a giant hammer and then dancing in celebration?
>>735687
I'd prefer those milano cookies. So I'll pass.
Hey wheres that sidekick of yours? You know the police once with the big guns and even bigger...well....I suppose her guns are technically bigger than her chesty secrets, but that would mess with the flow.
Which of course is ruined already by my analyzing it....so wheres the cop wit da tig ol bitties?
No.735691
File: 1454469780030.png (193.76 KB, 500x321, 500:321, tumblr_nyq0o7EH0o1um5te0o1….png)
>>735690
Oh, she's around somewhere.
No.735692
>>735690
Irony is so 2011.
You might as well just drop actual dead horses on people.
No.735693
>>735691
The recoil of those guns and her body is proof that there is some sort of divine creator.
>>735692
>ahem
>points to horse hanging from the ceiling
Please. No spoilers
No.735694
>>735693
You know what they say, bitches love cannons.
No.735695
>>735693
>hand out
Game Freak has a patent for all present and future coincidental happenstances that may result in more patents.
Pay up.
I'd also suggest maybe a Ponyta variation.
No.735697
File: 1454470598065.jpg (108.77 KB, 736x1107, 736:1107, f9a6569ceb2975585e29eecf16….jpg)
>>735694
Should Nuff
>>735695
I've been dropping horses on people since before Game Freak printed its first issue.
No.735698
>>735696
Well...this is an unfortunate turn of events.
I hadn't realized we were playing by Coliseum rules.
>>735697
Your first ongoing came out in 1997.
Blue and Red version had already come to North America by 1995.
Pay. Up.
No.735699
File: 1454470806030.jpg (109.89 KB, 650x813, 650:813, Alucard.(Hellsing).full.74….jpg)
>>735697
I miss that Russian lady. She reminds me of my boss. But with bigger bitties.
Get that bitch a cannon.
>>735698
No tag-outs.
No.735700
>>735698
February 1991, first showed up in New Mutants. My first solo title was actually in 1993, with The Circle Chase.
Then I received a second self titled mini in 94.
Gameday Bucket Go Boom! You get nothing.
>>735699
C-Cup or larger should be issued heavy ordinance at their first Bra fitting.
No.735701
>>735699
The only thing Professor Pikachu sells is merchandise.
Lots and lots of merchandise.
If you listen close you can hear Jim Davis crying.
>>735700
...We had a vending machine since the 80s.
No.735702
File: 1454471238837.jpg (246.93 KB, 881x906, 881:906, alucard_by_sapon244-d6tc6a….jpg)
>>735700
Now we're talking.
I should hypnotize the President and make that a thing.
>>735701
It's okay, you're largely irrelevant so what you sell or no-sell doesn't really matter.
No.735703
File: 1454471360196.jpg (225.33 KB, 982x1222, 491:611, ryan-reynolds-goes-unmaske….jpg)
>>735701
Through various time travelling and other ridiculous plots I have been in stories that take place during the 70s.
>>735702
Hypnotize him with booby cannons
No.735704
>>735702
Pokemon? Irrelevant?
...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
>>735703
A worthy opponent to take on the vast empire of...uh...
What were we arguing about again.
>Professor Pikachu is confused!
>Professor Pikachu hurt itself in confusion
GOD DAMN IT
No.735705
>>735703
That's the plan.
>>735704
When that mobile shit flops, I'll be waiting.
No.735706
>>735704
>pulls out a pebble
>throws it at professor Pikachu
>>735705
You are officially my favorite Dracula
No.735707
>>735705
I'll be sure to tune in and catch the next episode of your abridges series in the meantime.
When's the next one due out, in a decade?
>>735706
NO YOU FOOL
>Professor Pikachu has fainted
>Professor Pikachu has no more usable Pokemon
>Professor Pikachu whited out!
No.735708
>>735706
Ayyyy.
Now all that's left is the wait.
Police girl. ...Police girl.
HEY, POLICE GIRL!
No.735709
>>735707
>Mercenary Deadpool earns 500 whatever the hell pokemon people use for money
>ruples? Dinar? Fun Bucks?
>>735708
The other Dracula I know wants to cut off my head for marrying his betrothed before he could.
But he was planning to kill her and take her throne, so fuck that guy.
No.735710
>>735709
Sounds like a dick. I mean, I'm a huge prick too but wow.
No.735711
>>735710
But you're the fun kind. I mean, you get to fight nazi vampires all day. Night?
No.735712
Oh man oh jeez-
>wham
Ow...
No.735713
File: 1454472674244.jpg (160.78 KB, 1280x764, 320:191, realist_alucard_by_fraulum….jpg)
>>735711
Well I did, but then I kinda won.
Now I just fuck with people.
No.735714
>>735713
What about regular nazis?
No.735715
>>735714
They'd be too old to give a shit about.
No.735716
File: 1454472978456.jpg (225.33 KB, 982x1222, 491:611, ryan-reynolds-goes-unmaske….jpg)
>>735715
Neo Nazis? Like Girl Red Skull or Baron Zemo
No.735717
>>735716
Now there's an idea.
No.735718
At least that old weirdo's not awake.
No.735719
>rifling through his wallet
>moth flies out
Who knew a car wash could be so expensive...
Then again, most proprietors probably don't have to pay multiple bails.
No.735720
File: 1454477359067.jpg (360.71 KB, 570x807, 190:269, 3e9caab1e640d8ec4f1925b50f….jpg)
>>735719
>uh
Do you need money, Saber?
>sitting on a fucking huge pile of gold
>Das Rheingold, son
No.735721
File: 1454477487934.jpg (187.86 KB, 850x601, 850:601, sample-8f75cbef97bc35aba5b….jpg)
>>735720
>?
I like to think I'm decently good at King of the Hill but this is ridiculous.
>HAHAHAHAHA
Where were you keeping all of that?
No.735722
>>735721
>?
Hidden from Master.
I have learned that money corrupts people.
No.735723
File: 1454477717830.jpg (769.86 KB, 2464x3256, 28:37, Fate.Prototype.full.164585….jpg)
>>735722
Well I imagine it's hard to be corrupting when you're too busy sitting on it to make much use of it.
Not to mention the imposing dragon guarding the whole stash.
>wait why do I have to get a job again what the hell
It wouldn't be fitting to just take it from you.
No.735724
>>735723
>gets off it
>it just vanishes
Exactly. I have to keep it away from people now that Fafnir is dead.
>...
What's mine is yours. And Master's.
>
Don't tell her about it.
No.735725
File: 1454478155165.png (509.19 KB, 750x676, 375:338, 911f2853302c43dae6a8d24885….png)
>>735724
>blink
Forgive me, that's about the longest you've verbalized in about a month.
>shakes his head
Yes, no doubt she'd manage to bury the rest of us in even more video games she never plays. I still don't see how talking about the games on the computer is more rewarding than the games themselves.
>guh
And you've never felt any inclination to use it...?
No.735726
File: 1454478248255.jpg (116.22 KB, 707x500, 707:500, 668f460d2620dfe3deb7a4a522….jpg)
>>735725
I speak when needed.
>
No one ever asks for things from me.
No.735727
>>735726
That speaks volumes about something, but I'm not entirely sure what.
>
Sometimes I forget being a king isn't synonymous with being a knight. You're allowed to take the initiative with your own property, you realize. I'm certainly not going to attempt command again anytime soon.
There's a lot of good you can do in this world with monetary assistance.
No.735728
>>735727
>
I don't trust the people of this era.
>frown
They lie, cheat, steal and abuse more than they tell truths and help each other.
No.735729
>>735728
And?
I figured you were prescient enough to figure out that man has always been like that on your own, but I guess not. I'd hate to point to your own legend to illustrate an example.
>grin
We are heroes of justice. Frankly, doing as right as I can by people is all I know how to do.
You're not going to fulfill some tan-skin white-hair prophecy and turn surly like Archer, are you?
No.735730
>>735729
And you wonder why I have not shared Das Rheingold with anyone.
Archer is my friend too. But...
No.735731
>>735730
Really you're out of your element as the cynic, I don't think I agree with this particular iteration of the script.
We cannot act like we're better than they are, Siegfried.
No.735732
>>735731
We're not better.
My mistakes cost me my life, my marriage and almost started a war. Yours destroyed your kingdom.
...I'm not good at talking.
>this is why I'm quiet
>I think I'll just go back to that
No.735733
>>735732
Don't forget the life, marriage, and war in mine too. Kind of important.
>shrug
I'm sure if you have something to say, you'll speak up.
You could always use it to finance your sandwich venture with Karna, but I have no intention of telling you what to do.
No.735734
File: 1454479974397.jpg (178.05 KB, 430x682, 215:341, tumblr_nydrljg2TO1sj6shmo4….jpg)
>>735733
That was included in "kingdom".
>
I already do that.
>f r i e n d
No.735735
>>735734
I'm a detective now.
No.735736
>>735734
My mistake.
>stretches creaking knee
That Perseus is faster than he looks...
No.735737
>>735735
Oh.
>hat...
>>735736
>headtilt
>who
No.735738
File: 1454480335304.jpg (197.26 KB, 850x984, 425:492, sample-0a5bbc05d66b48f29d2….jpg)
>>735737
>hat pops off
Oh...
>
I just remembered that we forgot things for the shop.
Like napkins.
No.735739
>>735737
It's not that important, although I couldn't be sure if Medusa was more glad to have been dragged away from the action in that bikini, or that she didn't end up one head less.
>30 minutes without food aaaaaaa
>donut holes engage at a FURIOUS PACE
And then the local high schoolers showed up...
No.735740
>>735738
>waiter suit go
>
I'll go get some before we open.
>>735739
>I like Medusa
>she's nice to me
>listening intently
>also have a sandwich, kingboy
No.735741
>>735740
Also someone has been writing graffiti in the bathroom again.
So I tried answering back politely with Brahmastra but then the whole place caught fire.
No.735742
>>735740
>you fool
>...
>>
>looking back and forth between the sammich and Sig
>watch your fingers boyo that shit's gone
No.735743
>>735741
>oh...
We'll need a new location... and fireproof too. Last time I sneezed I lit everything on fire.
>>735742
>it's fine
>you'd break your teeth on my fingers anyways
It has bacon in it.
>
That's new.
No.735744
>>735743
I've heard good things about brick and mortar.
You might think it looks like a prison but that's because it is.
A prison for hungry people.
And the only people we set free are...not hungry people.
Maybe I should have said those slogans out loud before I ordered the posters.
No.735745
>>735743
>buzzsaw noises
>still looking as immaculate as always somehow
Exquisite!
>nom
What-
>gulp
Were we talking about again?
No.735746
>>735744
It's catchy.
>
No more Ikea furniture. It ignites too easily and there are never all the pieces...
>>735745
>shrug
Car wash.
No.735747
>>735746
It's not my fault Brahmastra triggered while I was looking for that one screw.
>...
We should get the eight trigrams on the walls so I don't have to and maybe burn the place down again.
No.735748
File: 1454481561371.jpg (78.71 KB, 850x601, 850:601, sample-908cd93b3535c010b82….jpg)
>>735746
All I can say on that matter is that we were lucky that Mordred just so happened to be wandering by.
In her bathing suit.
>shakes his head
Don't believe anyone under 1500
>food: [X]
>couch get
No.735749
>>735747
Indian food prison...
>
I saw these little decorations that can make brick look like not brick. We can make it look nice.
>>735748
...People wear suits to bathe?
No.735750
>>735749
It sounds dumb when you say it like that.
>uh
Wallpaper? Because that's called wallpaper.
We should get the kind that tastes like food, I saw it in a movie once.
No.735751
>>735749
>GO GO SABER: SPEEDO
You don't?
>
No, that's a silly question now that I think about it.
No.735752
>>735750
Is it safe?
>>735751
>
>um
...I made a mistake.
No.735753
>>735752
I need to find out what a snozzberry is.
No.735754
File: 1454482328709.jpg (181.67 KB, 850x609, 850:609, sample-c930e477aacb84b84b1….jpg)
>>735752
>GOOD LORD HE'S NAKED
So that answers that question about the curtains and drapes.
>Invisible Air: very yes
No.735755
>>735753
It doesn't sound appetizing.
>>735754
>armor: yes
I don't understand.
No.735756
>>735755
They were better than the soda that made you fly.
...We should offer soda that makes you fly.
No.735757
>>735755
Apparently it's common in this time to have separate clothes for when you're in the water and when you're out.
Trust me, I don't understand either.
>apron get
Also they have special bodies of water just for swimming, with water that you can't drink.
No.735758
File: 1454482750390.jpg (360.71 KB, 570x807, 190:269, 3e9caab1e640d8ec4f1925b50f….jpg)
>>735756
We actually need a soda that makes you fly first.
>...
What about that Caster woman with the hood. Maybe she can do that.
>>735757
>water you can't drink
But then what's the point?
No.735759
>>735758
That's what I just said.
>uh
She doesn't like looking at me. What about the Assassin with the soft lap.
No.735760
File: 1454482956211.jpg (212.81 KB, 732x678, 122:113, 4c67b9e856eee84111f43b0f77….jpg)
>>735758
>distant flashbacks of the water wars
>so many water balloons
>so many pruned fingers
What's the point indeed...
No.735761
>>735759
...She was on your team. You could ask. I don't think she'd like me.
>>735760
>
>Unlimited Sandwich Works
>thinking works up an appetite
We need help.
No.735762
>>735761
>shrug
She never talked to anybody but Kotomine and Caster.
Archer and Saber didn't like her but I think that's because her chest was so big in comparison.
No.735763
>>735761
>watchin dat sammich
Oh?
Is this the kind of help that needs a blade, or a smile?
...Or maybe one and then the other, I haven't figured that part out yet.
No.735764
File: 1454483420723.jpg (360.71 KB, 570x807, 190:269, 3e9caab1e640d8ec4f1925b50f….jpg)
>>735762
...It's worth a shot.
>>735763
A smile.
>
Master asked you to get a job. We need someone to bring customers in.
No.735765
File: 1454483663864.jpg (175.37 KB, 850x1134, 425:567, sample-03541479695798178e7….jpg)
>>735764
We should give some people free samples.
And not just because Master keeps asking me when she's going to get one.
>...
Arjuna and Ruler too.
No.735767
>>735765
That's reasonable.
>
Your Master is nice. And Ruler was nice to Sieg.
>uh
Family benefit.
>nodnod
...I think that's called nepotism.
>>735766
Oh.
>
Will you do it?
No.735768
>>735767
>Sieg
>frown
I think it's ok if they still pay, just less.
Please don't put beef in Arjuna's sandwich like last time.
No.735769
>>735767
Gainful employment, and for a friend?
I'd be a fool to turn down an opportunity like that.
When do I start?
No.735770
>>735768
>he was my little homie for all of four seconds
>also I possessed him to fight Mordred so it wasn't all bad
But red meat is good for you.
>>735769
Follow me when I leave in the morning.
>
I'm bad at directions.
No.735771
>>735770
Hindus can't eat the flesh of a brahman.
They're sacred.
No.735772
>>735770
You commute?
That just won't do.
>distant SEIBACYCLE
My Riding skill is high enough to allow you to expand into delivery, if you felt inclined.
Plus I'd look good in that hat.
No.735773
>>735771
Oh.
>>735772
...You are a good friend.
No.735774
>>735773
Designated streets are a lie.
>
I should go get those napkins
>Mana Boa's away
No.735775
>>735773
Thank you, Siegfried.
You'd think something as simple as friends would be easy to keep in this time.
But maybe that just says something about the time itself.
Are you ready?
No.735776
>>735774
>flings a pouch of gold into the boa before it's gone
>>735775
Go on ahead. I should practice before I go.
No.735777
File: 1454484931848.jpg (74.58 KB, 1280x750, 128:75, tumblr_m337ck5CTP1rsppwao1….jpg)
>>735776
Oho, a secret technique?
Say no more, I don't wish to intrude on that privacy.
>Strollin' strollin' strollin'
No.735778
>Aaaaaalexander the Great
>His name struck fear into hearts of men
>Aaaalexander the Greaaaat
>Becaaaaaame a legend 'mongst moooortal men
>zzzz
No.735779
>stumbles in through the door
>faceplant
>THUD
No.735780
>>735778
>>735779
We can just leave if you're busy.
No.735781
File: 1454493645319.jpg (25.92 KB, 236x429, 236:429, aace634161db6e091afad6d642….jpg)
>>735780
Wha--
Aww shit, been listening to too much Iron Maiden recently and now I'm seeing things.
No.735782
>>735781
Yes, Eddie. It is I, Eddie!
You must bring back METAL into the mainstream again, it is your quest.
No.735783
>>735782
Right, right...
>checks his list
I'll have to see what I can do.
>
Yeah I can squeeze bringing metal back in.
Got one other thing, but I got this! METAL WILL RISE AGAIN!
No.735784
>>735783
Does it look like I give a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck how long it takes?
What is that list, headbanger. I command thee!
No.735785
File: 1454494203454.jpg (258.03 KB, 1000x744, 125:93, I know that feel whoever t….jpg)
>>735784
Right, well uhhhh...
>shows him the list
>"Keep blue guy away from step-daughter's sister"
That was a objective given to me by my son for some reason.
Really adamant on it too.
>other highlights include...
>"Go on a Primus marathon"
>"Order Chinese for the night"
>"Get hit with stool by son"
>"Bring those reports to JJ"
I'll just...
>writes down "BRING BACK METAL" in capital letters
There we go.
No.735786
>>735785
Primus? PRIMUS?
Do not be lead astray by the false echoes of prog rock, my son. IT MOST UNBRUTAL.
>snatches the list
>totally getting corpse goo all over it
The Blue Man Group is after your niece or whatever?
War has been declared! The forces of metal shall ignite in everlasting torment once more!
>
Yo, you getting any extra Chinese?
No.735787
>>735786
They're cool, though! But that'll have to wait, I must focus clearly on metal now...
And yeah, I'll be getting some extra Chinese.
No.735788
>>735787
Most EXCELLEEEEEEEEEEEEENT
But for now I must return to my rotten crypt most foul, and await the coming glory of metal!
MY CHINESE SHALL BE DELIVERED IN A PUTREFIED STATE UNDER THE TOIIILEEEEEEEEEEETTTT!
>disappears in a puff of smoke
No.735789
>>735788
Well looks like I'll have to work on my vocals and guitar skills. Maybe bass...bass is under appreciated these days.
Hmmm...
I will be sure to return metal to it's former glory, Eddie! You can trust me!