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No.1951[Last 50 Posts]
ITT: Writing tips
Warning, bad advice will be mercilessly rediculed
My advice:
>It's never finished
No.1952
OP here, I got some more.
>Never write self-indulgently, 0.000023% of all the writers of all time have been successful by writing self-indulgently. People who say "write what you think is good" are dumb faggots. Write a work that is addicting from the very first sentence until the end. If you are writing imagery, make sure every single line is infatuating and necessary. Avoid purple prose. Avoid over elaborate descriptions unless you can curtly include the details. Write for an audience if you want to be sucessful, write for yourself if you want to die alone.
No.1956
>>1951>It's never finishedisn't it what george lucas said about "improving" is movies?
what does it even mean?
No.1957
>>1956Often times a perfectionist is slogged down in his writing because their ceaseless dedication to quality, but this in the end can be self-defeating and can hinder a work from completion.
When contemplating, "is it finished though"?
The answer is no, it can never be finished. Accept the futility that any work can be improved by having more time being spent on it and act accordingly and practice some prudence.
No.1963
No.1966
you can only write something worthwhile and out of the ordinary if you have actually experienced something worthwhile and out of the ordinary.
perception is key.
No.1967
>>1966>>1966please define experiencing something worthwhile.
No.1968
>>1967That depends on you, dunnit?
No.1972
>>1968well, i'm pretty sure that most adventure writers have never lifted their asses from an armchair.
and i would not be surprised if most successfull smut/erotica writers don't really get any.
many important philosopher had pretty uneventful quiet lives.
and assuming that the "something worthwhile" is something absolutely interior and unique to a person, doensn't that mean that we are talking about special people?
and take it from someone who does not simply dismisses training and exercise as pointless without an outstanding talent…
No.1978
>Odds are that 'just' you wrote down is not necessary.
>Never EVER write "x kissed y passionately" or something along those lines.
>If you make a reference, don't point it out Niggas think I'm joking, but I've seen this before and it's awful
>If you think of a good sentence while writing, put it in the story now, don't save it for later.
There's other stuff, but I generally stick to the 'clear and concise' way of doing things.
No.1981
>>1966I agree, but perception is a phenomenon of the mind. For example, a schizophrenic may "see" a person that exists only in his head, but to him there would be no difference between experiencing that and actually meeting that person. What I mean to say is that someone with a strong enough imagination may be able to experience something extraordinary without ever leaving his room.
No.1984
>>1972Most successful smut writers are female and they get plenty (and they've hopefully experienced orgasms and researched amateur porn otherwise).
Important philosophers aren't writing fiction about wild adventures.
Adventure writers with no life experience are making worthless genre trash.
I stand behind the statement.
No.1986
>>1984ok, name some.
as far as i know not all writers are jack london or joseph conrad.
also "worthless genre trash".
we have a patrician here!
No.1995
>>1986>believes the pleb/patrician dichotomyBack to /mu/ with you.
Not all writers are worth reading. Your constant argument along the lines of "most adventure writers", "most smut writers", and "not all authors" is meaningless. We're talking about stories of worth. You can't even come up with an argument of worth. "As far as I know" you've never read anything in your life.
Just looking for popular smut I get these names: E.L. James, Sylvia Day, A.N. Roquelaure, Julie Kenner, Jodi Ellen Malpas, Raine Miller, Tiffany Reisz, Olivia Cunning, Shayla Black, Maya Banks, Christina Lauren, Lora Leigh, Tara Sue Me, Alice Clayton. Even the pseudonyms are women. Fuck, you have to go digging to find any men in the genre. They're pretty much all married and good luck telling me they never got laid. I may not find their stories worthwhile, but even they have experiences related to what they're writing.
No.2031
>>1995i was talking about authors who have experienced "something worthwhile",as you put it.
and what makes you think that i don't agree with you when you say that not all writers are worth reading?
btw why so rude?
No.2032
>>2031I just like being rude. Pls don't think I hate you or anything.
I actually think you're a qt No.2034
>>2032t-thank you.
here, have a pic.
No.2070
If you start a story with >"Timmothy Dalton wasn't doing anything important."
>"Alexander Peters couldn't pay attention in class."
>"Sarah Lotte walked down the street."
then please don't write anymore. If you can't start a story with your character doing something interesting, or describe something dull in an interesting way, then the reader can't trust you to make the rest of the story interesting.
Nothing is worse than a dull-ass starting line.
No.2283
There's no limits to what you can write. Keep things interesting by exploring things in your mind
No.2299
>>1978Examples of the first three?
No.2333
>>2070Anon was writing a boring post about how he hated boring stories. He soon realized his dick was hard, and was forced to cease his boringposts at once.
"That's odd, I've already fapped twice today," said anon in the most boring way possible. Anon was an autist, and was incapable of using varied tones.
<implying you don't want to read my biography of your day No.2334
>>2333Revision:
Anon was writing boring posts about his boring hate for boring stories. He soon realized his dick was hard, forcing an end to the boringpost binge.
"That's odd, I've already fapped twice today," said anon in the most boring way possible. Anon was an autist incapable of using varied tones.
>tfw it never looks quite right No.2336
Get a tape recorder. Read your work out loud and then listen to it. There is a lot of dumb stuff that sounds good enough when you're writing it but when you actually hear yourself say it you realize it's no good.
Many writers seem to get so absorbed in their own writing that they forget that the writing has to speak to the reader, literally. So getting in the habit of actually speaking the text and listening to yourself is a good way to get a perspective check on when you're being too stale or self-indulgent as a writer.
No.2363
>>2336This is good advice. At the very least, read your work out loud once in a while.
No.2366
Stop being a faggot.
No.2377
>>1951Always experiment and plan at the same time.
Always write a complex story from end to start, that way you make the ending fleshed out properly.
Before you even become a writer please judge some things: Are you a german, french, british, chinese, japanese writer? Quit immediately. Not only for your sake but for us.
Are you creative, are you charmingly fun and common sensical, are you genuinely intelligent? Intelligent and educated and knowledgable, it matters a lot.
Is your brain made for writing since birth? Did you train it, do you continue to train properly in serious ways and not fake training?(fake training = writing easy unimaginative restrictive stories with no ideas, creativity, talent, effort, )
Always write quality instead of following cliches and genres. Don't even bother wasting time taking a shit on the cliches, just ignore them completely and launch for the skies.
Don't shy away from throwing 150 page novel stories in the trash and starting again from scratch.
No.2383
>>2377Define creativity
You can do just as bad writing balls-to-the-wall childish schlock as you can being a boring cunt.
No.2408
>>1951Just be urshelf :- )
No.2413
Writers often seem to suffer from an inability to make believable characters. Sometimes they attempt to model characters on other characters they have read, other times they use established tropes and their own imaginations as substitutions, but I find that it is good to read a body of nonfiction (especially first-person non-fiction) to obtain insight into how different people think and live their lives. Reading published diaries can be good also. When you want a world to be believable, you want people that feel like human beings and places that feel like spaces where people actually live, so I find it helps to have some experience imagining the world from the perspective of people other than yourself.
No.2421
>>2377Is an example of bad writing.
Make sure your adjectives and sentences mean something.
>Always experiment and plan at the same time.This command does not form a clear mental image. It only makes sense if the reader can divine your thoughts.
>Always write complex… make the ending fleshed out…Meaningless adjectives– the above's "complex" and "fleshed out"–are a waste of time. Form a clear mental image: predict the consequences of your adjectives and omit them if they do not affect the mind-picture's state.
>Is your brain made for writing since birth?Do not talk out of your ass. How does one figure this shit out? Do you simply measure the size of your ego? Even if you do figure it out, how do you make use of this knowledge? As a reader, all these loose ends make me uncomfortable.
>Always write quality…The above is another waste of time.
>Don't even bother wasting time taking a shit on the cliches, just ignore them completely and launch for the skies. Cliches are generally rooted in tradition and the human experience; trying to be too hard to be original is a mistake.
>>2408Subjectivity is attractive because it does not require study, and plays into your ego. Don't believe it. Gain awareness of your incompetence. Study the masters.
No.2422
>>2032I agree in a general sense; experience leads to better and more meaningful writing. However, there are many examples that can contradict this, so just remember that anything is possible.
For example, WW1 war-specific literature. All Quiet on The Western Front reached a much higher level of popularity compared to Storm of Steel. Erich Remarque, who wrote All Quiet, was in the war but a member of the reserves, seeing little direct frontlines action. Ernest Junger, author of Storm of Steel, was a frontline infantrymen who was wounded multiple times, killed men and watched his friends be torn apart around him.
From my view, I think Remarque's writing and novel was better and more meaningful in regards to the horrors of war and the feelings of alienation when returning home. Junger on the other hand, the more experienced, wrote his story in the form of a biography. Perhaps this is connected to the idea of such soldiers being stoic and not able to communicate their ideas as smoothly as Remarque did in All Quiet.
Anyway, that's that. It really depends on the individual and the subject.
No.2430
>>2421>Cliches are generally rooted in tradition and the human experience; trying to be too hard to be original is a mistake.You're misreading him. He is saying that being overly conscious of cliches especially in an attempt to avoid them is a bad idea, and I think he's correct on this.
No.2431
>>2422It's definitely something to keep in mind. Experience without awareness is worthless. Also, as much as you can gain from an it, experience is subject to diminishing returns. 20 years of work isn't needed to write a believable character, obviously, but a day spent in a factory can be valuable.
No.2492
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>>2334lemme try.
Anon wrote a boring post about his hatred of boring stories. He realized his dick was hard, forcing him to cease boringposting.
"That's odd, I've already fapped twice today," said anon in the most boring possible way. Anon, being an autist, was incapable of using varied tones.
No.2494
>>2333>>2334This comparison is actually helpful.
No.2505
>>2334Anon posted his umpteenth boringpost for the day when he felt his dick rise and harden.
"That's odd," he droned in his usual autistic way, "I've already fapped twice today."
He closed every single 8chan tab, except one. He scrolled up and down all over /politik/'s catalog, scanning for Rei's shitposts. How the long, obnoxious ramblings of Rei get him hot…
No.2509
>>2505I really like your take. Rei's posts also make me hard. As a fellow autist, I feel I can relate to his boringposting.
No.2513
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>>2334After recently abandoning baneposting, Anon was attempting to fill the emptiness in his life by meeting a self-imposed quota of boringposts. He was reviewing and grinning smugly at the latest, his 46th personal boringpost since waking at 6 PM the previous evening, when an unseemly development in his musky flannel pajama pants distracted him from his work.
"That's odd."
His seldom-used but characteristically deadpan voice clattered dully against the bare walls of his bedroom.
"I've already fapped twice today…"
His normally battered and barely responsive three-inch dick stood at its full and glorious attention, tiny soldier's helmet of a bellend wet and shining with anticipation.
This unfortunate development signaled the end of his boringposting. Sighing, he opened his bookmarks folder. Perhaps a trip to tsukimi manor would help to solve this problem…
>what am I doing with my life No.2520
>>2334A post a bore a mast a gain a long the boringboard, past he and anons, from speech of story this dullest day, brings us by odd penile petrification of recirculation back yet having fapped in these environs
No.3683
>>2377wait, why should somebody quite writing if they're german french british chinese or japanese?
No.3705
>Is this the most interesting part of your character's life? If not, why aren't you showing that?
No.3714
>>3683Because, same as for everybody else, quite writing is best writing.
No.3719
>Be a first-rate version of yourself rather than a second-rate version of another author.
No.3769
Write down every story idea you have. No aspiring writer should be without a commonplace book. Make it a point to write a certain number of words or pages regularly (preferably every day, but do your best according to your schedule) so that you're always flexing your writing skills. Use your commonplace book when you're struggling for ideas.
To give an example, Lovecraft carried such a notebook with him and would write down random thoughts (Azathoth: Horrible name is the first mention of one of his most famous in-universe eldritch gods) and dreams (the basis for many of his stories and for the dark god Nyarlathotep) which he would then flesh out through writing exercises, many of which were published.
Get feedback from other people even if you're expecting nothing but criticism. In the worst case you get trolled; in the more likely case you get feedback you can use to improve; and in the best case you're pleasantly surprised by how much people can enjoy your writing. Never publish anything if you can't take criticism. If for whatever reason you can't take criticism, learn.
Look for writer's workshops in your area. I went to such a workshop for about five years and I wrote the most stories and improved the fastest during that time, even if my brief attempt to write a novel was… indulgent. Workshops are great places to get feedback and bounce ideas off of other people, and they're awesome opportunities to socialize with like-minded writers.
No.3792
Would anyone have any suggestions for beginning level writer groups?
The problem with intermediate or above places is that you're apt to get "fix your fucking grammar" advise, if they're feeling generous. Otherwise you'd tend to be ignored as your errors are so basic that it's not worth their time.
The problem with congregating with only neophytes is that you get "this sucks, but i can't tell you why it sucks" feedback.
Perhaps the answer is the get one's ass into a community college and plow through some creative writing courses. At least that way you have one person there who can tell you why your writing sucks, and what you need to do to improve it, while also retaining the sharing among similar skill levels for more general feedback.
What I really wish for is a chan styled feedback board. The dedicated ones here are all KIA.
Ideas, pointers to resources, things like that would be really appreciated.
No.3794
>>3792"fix your fucking grammar" is important. It's just as important as "stop using so many descriptors" and "get off that soapbox."
The issue with chan styled feeback boards is too many "beginning writers" who won't read what other people put out there. Perhaps they feel they can't offer meaningful feedback. They would have something useful to say if they could fix their fucking grammar.
Was my use of "just" in the first paragraph acceptable, or should I reword things to avoid using it? No.3796
>>2034This dude is from my hometown (outside of Buffalo NY) and was featured on an episode of My Strange Addiction. This is the life of the person you jerk of to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9ST2NgjfYU No.3802
>>3794No, no - I agree. The grammar is important. Wasn't trying to dismiss that.
What I mean is it's not worth wasting the time of more advanced writers with that low grade stuff. Now, there's plenty of excellent places out there for writers that are far beyond the beginning level. Probably answered my own question here with "pony up and pay for a community college."
I still like to see what people have to say on this issue. It seems like the perfect thing for a chan, but the boards for such are dead, dead, dead.
For comparison, as an idea of what I'm thinking of, I'd hold up what I've seen of various attempts to get into drawing, and illustration, and animation. Chan culture is pretty accessible for beginners. I've seen some incredibly helpful feedback and intense coaching in various artwork threads on some dedicated critique boards. I've watched these same wannabe artists make progress, and quite good if not quite professional over the years.
Chan culture's got some great resources out there for cooking, "cooking" (bake at 420 as they say and baked ye shall be), firearms education, Internet technology, fitness, visual arts, etc.
What of writing?
No.3857
>>1951>It's never finishedBut you ought to know when you're done.
>If you think of a good sentence while writing, put it in the story now, don't save it for later.I usually keep a separate document for worthwhile fragments.
>>2333Anon was writing boring posts about how he loathed boring stories. He soon realized his dick was hard, putting a swift end to his boring posts.
"That's odd, I've already fapped twice today," he said in the most boring way conceivable. Anon was autistic, and incapable of using varied tones.
No.4200
Adverbs may be weak tools of a lazy mind, but your prose will be shit without them.
Also, writing dialogue is hard. Start with what's essential if you're writing a narrative, work up to more complex and nuanced dialogue.
If you're trying to improve your dialogue, try short plays or scenes. Experiment with tone, maybe try writing a snappy lover's spat and then a sappy apology.
No.4202
Stuck?
Think to yourself, "I am not a writer." And then fucking write.
This takes the pressure off. Save the pressure for editing.
No.4205
>Omit needless words
No.4206
>>1952this reminds me of someones books~
No.4219
>>4200>your prose will be shit…>what's essential…>more complex…>snappy…These vague phrases and words have lost all meaning. Use definite, specific, concrete language.
No.4220
>>4219Does this board forbid attaching multiple pictures to a post?
No.4223
>>4219Noted.
>Adverbs make writing flow more naturally.
>Dialogue is tricky. It's easier to write stories with short remarks than it is to write ones with long conversations.
>Try play-writing to up your dialogue game. Remember to vary tones. No.4257
>>2421>Study the masters.Genuine question: how do you study a classic like say, Madame Bovary, with the intent of getting better at writing?
No.4264
Honestly, I just want to know how I can write quickly. Needing one hour for 1K word is just painful.
No.4266
>>4264Stop editing. Pour it out onto the page, non-stop.
No.4280
>>4266I tried that on /lit/ and everyone called me a shitposter.
No.4291
>>4280He isn't telling you to pour it here. l2r?
No.4293
>>2513
>Calling baneposting boringposting.>TFW The Academy of Baneology has the highest rate of interesting original content of any board I go to.I think you have mischaracterized us, Mr. Narrator.
Also, my turn to try revising the test sentence!
Anon is raw and sticky, eyes and crotch. The eyes from too many hours in front of his monitor, the crotch from the same.
"Gotta finish first," He promises aloud with a voice like white noise, cross-checking each word with his thesaurus.
No.4294
>>4293>>Calling baneposting boringposting.I think you need to learn how to read. Also I doubt you fully understand the depth and sophistication that goes into a fully realized boringpost.
No.4295
>>2513>>4293Also this:
>His seldom-used but characteristically deadpan voice clattered dully against the bare walls of his bedroom. I really liked. especially for a quick little bit of fun like this.
>>4294Yeah, I misread that. I'm not familiar with "boringposting" as a distinct category.
No.5532
The only writing advice you will ever need.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuHfVn_cfHU
No.5541
>>4295
Boringposting is really avant-garde stuff, so you can't be blamed.
No.5573
Young writefag here, is this opening any good or did it bore you to tears?
>There was a lot of rain on those days. The days where grey clouds would hang overhead and stretch for what seemed to be miles on end. I loved them. The busy sounds of life were muffled out by the Mother Nature’s natural silencer, “pitter patter” it would go.
No.5574
>>5573
"by the mother" there is no "the", its an autocorrect mistake, my bad.
No.5575
>>5574
Depends. Is it relevant? What kind of story it is? Can you post more?
>what seemed to be miles on end
pretty cliche
>I loved them
The days? The clouds?
>The busy sounds of life
It's in a city?
>silencer
I don't think that's the right word.
No.5577
>>5573
Some more things to consider:
>Mother Nature’s natural silencer
As opposed to Mother Nature's unnatural stuff? This can be "Mother Nature's silencer".
>by the Mother Nature’s natural silencer
"The" is absolutely redundant here and nothing kills the flow of a sentence more than overuse of tiny words where they don't belong.
>muffled out
Another redundant word "out". Can something be "muffled in" for comparison? Just say "muffled".
>on those days. The days
Saying these one after the other is clunky. This is easily correctable because:
>The days where grey clouds would hang overhead and stretch for what seemed to be miles on end.
That is technically a sentence fragment.
>a lot of rain on those days
A lot of rain *in those days? "On" sounds wrong unless you were going for a certain effect.
Also note that three of your four sentences begin with "There" or "The". That repetition puts me to sleep.
>There was a lot of rain in those days, where grey clouds would hang overhead and stretch for miles. I loved them. The busy sounds of life were muffled by Mother Nature’s silencer. “Pitter patter” it would go.
Those are just a few obvious things that stuck out. More work can be done.
No.5578
>>5573
>what seemed to be
Typical weak noncommittal circumlocutions of inexperienced writers. This would only work if you are establishing a character, or narrator, as being so iffy. It's too early in the story for this, I'm sure that's not what you intended.
So, pound this into your conscientious: don't tell us what it seems like; tell us what it is.
Otherwise, sure, go on with this piece.
No.5580
>>5577
>in those days
It is "on those days".
>"muffled in" for comparison
Although I don't disagree with you here, certain verbs combine with certain adverbs and/or prepositions normally, e.g., look at, ran out on, etc. Now if he follows your advice about "redundant words", he might come under the impression that words like "out" are absolutely redundant. I otherwise agree with your assessment.
No.5581
>>5580
>It is "on those days".
If I'm not mistaken, this would be used to refer to a specific subset of days.
>Some days the temperature would reach 100. On those days we would…
>On those days of heavy rain the clouds would stretch for miles…
Meanwhile "in those days" is referring to how things were over a general period.
>It was warmer when we lived in Colombia. In those days we would…
>In those days it would always rain. I miss rain…
No.5582
>>5581
>>5580
>>5578
>>5577
>>5575
Thank you for the advice and tips! Its been a while since I've received advice that makes sense.
No.5583
>>5581
>on those days
>definite position
>in those days
>general period
Yes, I suppose it is possible, but he does refer to a specific set of days in the following fragment. It could almost go either way. The writer would have to clarify for us.
Another way that it could be interpreted is that he is referring generally to a type of day, i.e., ones "where grey clouds would hang overhead…."
No.5584
>>5583
I just realized that "in those days" refers to something that has ceased to occur, and I don't think that clouds will ever stop hanging overhead (unless this is some Asimovian polemics novel that notes this).
No.5586
>>5584
>>5582
The rest of it:
There was a lot of rain in those days. Grey clouds would hang overhead and block out any glimpse of daylight. I really enjoyed those lonely days, because it always felt like the early hours before sunrise, before the world woke up. Everyone would leave a bit earlier for class in the morning to avoid the worst of the showers, allowing me to smoke in peace and just daydream to my favorite albums. In an old dorm room, staring out a creaky roll up window at the shining steel of the new business building, my body held still and my mind took flight. Daydreaming and thinking about everything possibly conceivable in my mind at the time was my natural state. I was not living life or meeting new people, or going to class and learning, I was simply acting like a pre-programmed machine on autopilot, responding in the same manner to external stimuli. I wasn’t trying to find a way to have sex with the supposedly celibate catholic school girl who lived on the floor below me like the other boys in my housing block. I was not concerned with anything around me, save returning to my little world and making sure my desk was piled with takeout meals and marijuana. The outside world was too noisy, too loud, with so much useless and superficial banter being repeated over, and over again. Stressed and on the verge of a psychotic break, the sounds of daily life all merged together into one constant buzz, forcing me to escape to my little world, and leave the rest to my reactionary programming.
No.5587
>>5586
>of the new business building
Sorry forgot to add the details of the University setting and campus, too vague.
No.5588
>>5586
Goddamit one more thing
>on the verge of another psychotic break
Okay thats it. Fire at will.
No.5591
>>5586
>Everyone would leave a bit earlier for class in the morning to avoid
Could be simplified by cutting "a bit" and maybe "in the morning."
>just daydream
"Just" isn't needed.
>conceivable in my mind at the time
Neither is "at the time."
>learning, I was
I think the second clause it long enough for a semicolon, rather than a comma.
>I was simply acting like a pre-programmed machine on autopilot, responding in the same manner to external stimuli
Unless you meant something by "responding to external stimuli", you could shorten this to "I was acting like on autopilot."
>to find a way to have sex
"To have sex" is enough.
>over, and over again
No comma needed.
>too noisy, too loud, with so much useless and superficial banter
The noisiness refers to both the variety and volume, right? Then the banter illustrates the first, but the loudness is just mentioned. Maybe show us that as well?
No.5631
>>5586
My shot at a rewrite:
>There was a lot of rain back then. Constant grey clouds would hang overhead and block out all signs of the sun. I really enjoyed those lonely days, because it always felt like the early hours before sunrise… before the world would wake up. When everyone would leave a bit earlier for class in the morning to avoid the worst of the showers, I would smoke in peace and daydream to my favorite albums. In an old dorm room, staring out a creaky roll up window at the shining steel of the new business building, my body rested and my mind wandered. To me, this felt like my natural state.
>I never felt like I was living life or meeting new people, or going to class and learning: I was simply a machine on autopilot, responding to the world around me. I wasn’t trying to find a way to have sex with the "celibate" Catholic school girl who lived on the floor below me like the rest of the boys. I wasn't really concerned with anything around me, save returning to my little world and making sure my desk was piled high with takeout menus and scraps of weed. The outside world was too noisy, too loud for me, with so much useless and superficial banter being repeated over and over again. Stressed and on the verge of a psychotic break, the sounds of the world seemed to merge together in dull monotony, forcing me to seek escape and leave the rest to my programming.
Not great, but my tip would be: if you're going to write in first person, don't be afraid to add feeling and emotion to it, even in your example where it's intended. If he's on the "verge of a psychotic break", letting emotion slip through now and again or at least breaking from the dull tone now and again helps.
No.5636
>>5631
Damn thats pretty much what I wanted to write, thank you so much. This isn't for any assignment by the way, I'm just trying to write about my year at a big state University before I dropped out.
And thanks for the tip, I'll work smarter on it.
No.5638
>>5636
No problem. You're just trying to make it too verbose is all. You should pay more attention to the way sentences feel when you read them back afterwards - for example, you said "days" three times on the first line, and that feels weird to read so I rewrote the first two to use something different.
Overly descriptive sentences also work a lot better when you're not using first person. For instance, I didn't change:
>In an old dorm room, staring out a creaky roll up window at the shining steel of the new business building, my body held still and my mind took flight.
…very much, but I did change "held still" to "rested" because it, again, feels more natural to read back and I would go one step further and either replace or take out the word "shining". "Creaky roll up window" could also do with shortening.
tl;dr: best tip for anyone is to check how their writing feels to read back - go back to it a day later, look it over, and read it like you'd read anyone else's work and you'll eventually get the hang of it.
No.5754
>>5586
Rewrite:
>I really enjoyed those days, despite the constant rain and the grey clouds blocking out most of daylight. It felt like the early hours before sunrise, before the world woke up. Everyone would leave a bit earlier for class to avoid the showers, allowing me to smoke in peace and daydream to music. Staring out the window, my mind took flight while my body stood still…
1. Fuck weather. If it's not central to your conflict, leave it out.
2. Start with your character.
3. If description isn't introduced to set up an action or influence a mind state, fuck it.
4. Always, always be careful with every single adverb.
5. Be concise. If you are not going to tell us about your favorite albums, don't mention them.
No.5755
>>5532
You might be joking but it works. Seriously.
No.5757
>>5754
>1. Fuck weather. If it's not central to your conflict, leave it out.
He wants to say his character thinks about the weather. It's characterization, you dumb negro.
No.5759
>>5754
>1. Fuck weather. If it's not central to your conflict, leave it out.
>3. If description isn't introduced to set up an action or influence a mind state, fuck it.
>5. Be concise. If you are not going to tell us about your favorite albums, don't mention them.
my nigga
>2. Start with your character.
What does this mean? You shouldn't, say, start with watching a storm and explain how you used it as an excuse not to go to the party?
No.5765
>>5757
>He wants to say his character thinks about the weather
Then he should say it. But he didn't. He described the weather:
>There was a lot of rain in those days. Grey clouds would hang overhead and block out any glimpse of daylight.
See? Description, you dumb negro.
It's only after that that he wrote how the weather made him feel:
>I really enjoyed those lonely days…
Characterization. Therefore: Fuck weather and fuck you, you dumb negro.
No.5766
>>5759
>You shouldn't, say, start with watching a storm and explain how you used it as an excuse not to go to the party?
Sure, you could but i think you would lose a buncha readers in the process.
How about this: Start by explaining why you didn't want to go to the party. Make the reason juicy and interesting. Center the narration on your character, not on the excuse. Not on the storm. Show us why he didn't want to go and why he resorted to an excuse.
BTW you could use anything else other than a storm as an excuse. He had a paper to finish, he didn't have money, it was his personal shabbat, he was coming down with the flu, yes, even a storm or whatever. What's important is the character, not the excuse.
No.5768
>>5765
>tell, don't show
Nobody cares about your shit advice.
No.5769
>>5768
The guy is doing a dramatic monologue. Of course he has to tell…
No.5774
>>5765
The paragraph was written in the first person. He did not describe the weather, but he illustrated a person describing the weather.
No.5777
>>5774
>He did not describe the weather, but he illustrated a person describing the weather.
>he illustrated a person describing the weather.
>describing the weather
>describing
describing is not describing.
No.5778
>>5777
A describes C.
A creates B which describes C.
What is the difference between the two?
It's difficult, I know, but I'm sure a clever boy like you can solve the puzzle.
No.5779
When you're rewriting something, especially something you wrote a long time ago, it's a good idea not to look at the original. If you do, you'll just wind up copying it word for word.
No.5787
>>5779
If you come back to something after a long time, reread it, and can't think of a single better way to reword things, then you should publish.
No.5938
I'm not giving this advice to anybody who wants to be a writer. This is just how I roll and it might not work for you.
>Don't read any books until after you've written your first draft so that you have a story that's uniquely you. Read a book by a celebrated author before writing your second draft so that you can get a whole new perspective.
>Write the interesting bits you want to put in your book first and worry about connecting them into a cohesive whole later.
And the most tenet of my writing style:
>Say as much as you can in as few words as possible.
what do you think?
No.6206
>>5938
Does your first name happen to begin with R? ( ° ʖ °)
No.6283
>>5938
>And the most tenet of my writing style:
>most tenet
>Say as much as you can in as few words as possible.
Be concise.
No.6326
I need advice and improvement. Here is my book called:
The Story of Brickwork Alley
My name was once John Williams. I was a professional journalist. But that was a long time ago.
I want to tell you about the day that I died, so that you might avoid making the same mistake I did.
It started like any other day, you've probably experienced it a million times before. You find
yourself alone, confused on a foggy street. Until you see an arrow, an arrow you think will point
you to your dreams. I thought the same. Imagine my disappointment when I found out the building
didn't work. I moved on. I saw something floating, but I couldn't go for it. My destiny was in the
other direction.
I had a pepper shaker in my right hand. I didn't like pepper, I was always more of a ditty-
toppings kind of guy. How, did this pepper shaker get here? I saw shapes in front of me. “They
looked like tetrahedrons”, I thought to myself. Then I remembered that I failed middle school
geometry.
I soon realized these things were actually the husks of my friends. One in particular caught
my eye. He was sitting down, and his eye moved. He moved. He reminded me of a dog wiping it's
ass on a carpet. I promptly murdered this gentleman, and as I did so I was blindsided by my former
neighbor. He immediately targeted my one-eyed-snake. I had no choice but to put him down.
He called in reinforcements. My pecker was still aching so my aim was a little off. But as always, I
got the job done.
After my successful victory I began jumping in celebration. But this just made my wiener
hurt more. I grew tired of walking so I started to run. Then I saw something I shouldn't have: the
zombie threw his leg over his head and sat down. I was stunned but I had to keep going. As I drew
closer he did it once more in the opposite way. That is something no man should ever see, let alone
see it twice.
I didn't notice that I was huge, about nine feet tall to be precise. I was larger than most
automobiles. But in the moments of weakness they capitalized on my vulnerability. I was caved in,
swarmed, and I had to shoot my way out. Among the Mötley Crüe that trapped me against the
vehicle was my old neighbor again. I was not letting him touch my dick again. I shot him until he
did a back-flip. Nobody touches my shit without my shit touching them. That was once the motto I
lived by.
I only used one hand to fire my weapon, but I put my left hand up to make it look like I used
two. My left hand was deformed and looked like a malfunctioning graham cracker. I confused my
enemies. Not only did I confuse them, I shot them so many times physics didn't want them
anymore. I could move them across the battlefield using nothing but my bullets. Amidst the chaos I
noticed another floating object. This one I could get. It was more ammo for my handgun. I didn't
realize my handgun used ammo, I thought it used my will to kill these zombies. But still I feel as
though 700 rounds of handgun-ammunition was more than enough. But I don't think I needed the
ammo.After wandering for days in this son-of-a-bitch I came to a fork in the road. I decided the
only way to go was the only way I shouldn't go. “Road close”? I think it meant “closed”. And that's
exactly what it was. I wasn't getting past that two-foot barrier despite being a fucking giant.
1/2
No.6327
2/2
I saw another arrow. Could I trust this arrow? I decided I couldn't because that door looked
flimsier than the noodle I'd char up my asshole. I was crying to the sky, asking why I've been
forsaken. I had no food or water, it has been a week. The only nutrients I had were the 12 hundred
bullets I carried around in who knows where. I was spinning in circles, I couldn't help myself. My
ears were red because it was chilly out, and I was wearing my least-favorite sweater, and that made
me agitated. But it wasn't the malnutrition or poor fashion, it was the boredom that was getting to
me. Ten times, ten thousand times, ten million times that I killed the zombie with nothing but this
rotten eggplant in my hand. At some point you just want your journey to have meaning, and that's
what I was looking for. And then just like that my journey had come to its end. I had found heaven.
But heaven was not accepting visitors on this day.
I couldn't get to the other side. I saw an elderly zombie approaching me. I figured I'd do him
a solid and blast him into heaven, but alas, heaven wouldn't accept him either. I found my quest had
been in vain, until I saw it, levitating above the ground, a lonely bottle of milk. It called itself
“Adrenaline Drink” but I knew its true identity. I had never been so happy in my life. My expedition
had reached its apotheosis. And what was my reward? A bottle of milk. Such a fitting prize for such
a grueling journey. I had been so happy I lost track of the things that mattered when I saw a zombie
grooving in the air. I couldn't help it walk over and join him. He sat down and I walked closer. He
got closer to the ground until he hit the ground. And then, just like Icarus before me I flew too close
to the sun. I approached the zombies with good intentions. However, they didn't share the same
sentiment.
That is my story.
No.6441
Got an exam coming up next term, it's a sit down exam i got like 45min to write a 5-6 page story. Apparently more marks are awarded if we include flash backs and a plot twist. It obviously needs to be a short story.
I'm not too bad at writing but just wondering if anyone has any good ideas for a short story that is sure to captivate the marker from the start or just an interesting short story, can be any context.
No.6442
>>6441
Write a story about how retarded that examine is.
No.6443
>>6441
Write a story about a boringposter's boringposts on chans.
No.6446
>>6441
Write a story about the difficulties of living with autism in the modern world.
No.6447
When you want to write a badass main character, you should always show him being in charge in some way, even when the situation is dire. Taking a character who loses his shit as quickly as a normal person and tacking martial arts moves and a big dick on them does not make a genuine, enjoyable badass.
I've read two stories with secret agents in them which suffered from this problem. The main characters came across as completely normal people, except they could do martial arts and were great in bed. Boring to read. If the authors didn't go out of their way to tell the reader how badass these guys were, I wouldn't have known they were supposed to be like that. Incidentally, both of them had big dicks.
A good counter-example is Ken Lubin from the Rifters Trilogy. The guy kept fighting even after being blinded and mauled by dogs. Over the top, yes, but if you want to write a ridiculously competent fighter, at least go all the way and make it interesting.
No.6697
>>5573
>there was a lot of rain in those days
good
>the days where grey clouds would hang overhead and stretch for what seemed to be miles on end
change "the days" to something else. last sentence just finished with "those days" so it sounds weird. also, cut out "what seemed to be."
>the busy sounds of life were muffled out by mother nature's natural silencer.
cut out natural and maybe change silencer to something else. perhaps "hush"
silencer made me think of a gun silencer.
besides that, it's a-ok
No.6700
>>1952
I think you meant to put it this way:
>Write for your audience if you want to be a businessman, write for yourself if you want to be an artist
No.6701
>>1966
I've met some people who have lived very interesting lives, but have absolutely nothing worthwhile to say and write horribly.
No.6710
>>6701
>but have absolutely nothing worthwhile to say
Untrue.
>and write horribly.
That's why it's your job to soak up all their interesting life experience and write for them.
No.7076
Try to avoid always using "said" to carry dialogue, try to mix it up as much as possible to avoid boring your reader, for example:
http://tiny.cc/47st4x
No.7080
No.7084
>>7076
Amateurs put too much stock in this advice and create eye-raping dialogue-heavy scenes far more annoying than what they're trying to avoid. The real issue is the lack of character motion and scenery in these scenes. Replacing "said" with some other word resolves nothing.
>fanfiction link
Fuck, you got me.
No.7103
>>7076
This is bad advice. Read the attached picture instead.
No.7109
>>7076
>Delicious fan-fiction!
I'm on it …
No.7110
File: 1445365022153.jpg (86.34 KB, 467x700, 467:700, A technical guide to fight….jpg)
>A jet-black fox, Sonic's utterly dogged opponent,
Mmmm … indirectly invoking a dog metaphor for a fox doesn't work for me. It also smears the scene with a humorous punning tone that damages what you intend. You can do better.
>The black fox seemed
New writers must regard "seemed" (also "looked [like something]," and so on) to be a placeholder for further editing in the rewrite. The exercise of searching your own text for this word and replacing it with a proper description is an excellent exercise.
>"I'm not sure, Cream. Not long I think," Tails assured.
Dialog formatting done correctly.
>"According to the astronomers, we only get a meteor shower this large only every five hundred years or so. We're really lucky to be here." Tails explained.
Dialog formatting done wrong. Do you see the difference?
>"A yellow hedgehog ambushed me," The fox replied,
," the fox replied,
You are doing most of your dialog formatting correctly, so it's not that you are clueless. You need constancy, or another set of eyes.
Inclusion of a sufficient description is important, but not where you are mixing metaphors:
>It spoke in an arcane tongue that cannot be written with human vocabulary,
Weirdly round-a-bout way of saying dis ain't English, yo. More importantly, spoke does not work with written, and vocabulary doesn't serve for implying phonetic details.
Lastly, as far as the dialog tags, is does suffer from Tom Swiftyism, of which this serves as a good example of what not to do.
And that's enough of that. Here's to hoping the author is actually here. Too much to wish for, I suspect.