>>7684
While you have a decent grasp on basic grammar, I can tell from your first paragraph, what I assume is a blurb, that you have some issues with style. I'd mark it red a bit if it was in a doc or something. Unfortunately pastebin doesn't exactly give me that option.
From chapter one it looks like you're trying to hard to be literary, and maybe even keeping a thesaurus handy. It makes the read really clunky.
Don't use approximations like "about", "essentially", "approximately" or anything like that. It's weak writing and makes the author sound like they're unsure of their story. If the date is unknown, be vague. Describe it as autumn. Say it's autumn even. Dont, however, say that you don't know the date unless it's in character. If it was first person, that'd be one thing. It looks like, at the very least, it's third limited, which makes you the narrator.
Break up your paragraphs more. The longer they are, the more inclined a reader is to just skim them. As a rule of thumb, try to have paragraphs with 4-6 sentences.
I could probably whip up more if you're interested, but it might get lengthy. I'm seeing a lot of amateurish mistakes peppered through the first couple chapters. Keep in mind all of this is with style, not content.