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Liberate tuteme ex Excelsior!

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

 No.8436

Post the worst cringe-worthy writing you've ever read.

 No.8437

File: 1454018608784.jpg (108.85 KB, 480x1084, 120:271, 1453365379984.jpg)

I saw this on /v/ awhile back and could not get past the first couple of paragraphs. I believe it's over 3 million words or so.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/4112682/1/The-Subspace-Emissary-s-Worlds-Conquest


 No.8449

File: 1454091840104.jpg (131.38 KB, 1284x1057, 1284:1057, faggot.jpg)

>>8437

>Unfortunately, not everything was right.

heh

The Way of Shadows, by Brent Weeks:

Instead, mere paces away, he hurled the knife at Kylar’s face.

Time didn’t slow.

The world didn’t contract to the point of the spinning knife.

But despair flash-boiled in the heat of an insane hope in Kylar’s heart. He didn’t even notice his hand come up, didn’t know how it had broken free, couldn’t say how the ka’kari had gone from the blade on the floor into his hand. It was just there.

In that unslowed fraction of a second, black goo flipped from his fingertips and splattered across the knife spinning toward his chest like spit against pavement.

When Kylar looked again, the knife was just gone.

Ting.


 No.8475


 No.8477

File: 1454279709007.jpg (124.9 KB, 960x849, 320:283, 1450287024961.jpg)

>>8475

>Twilight vs. Predator

>And Predator said "ROAAAAR!" like badass and went back to mothership and was happy


 No.8630

>>8475

I don't know what you're talking about, this shit is fucking great. A fanfiction success if there ever was one.


 No.8647

John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy…"

Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"

There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.

"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"

So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.

"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons

"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.

"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted

The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"

And then John was a zombie.

except that i don't cringe. i laugh.


 No.8658

>>8630

They're bad. They don't add anything new to what other funposts have done before.

https://fanfiction.net/s/2945837/1/Halflife-Fulllife-Consequences


 No.8665

>Nobody's posted My Immortal yet

I was part of a writer's workshop at around the latter half of the release of the Harry Potter series, and this was one of the sparkling diamonds that came out of the fan fiction community during that time. We spent bloody weeks reading this one chapter at a time and getting progressively more entertained at how ridiculous it was. Even the staff at the café we stayed at got into it a couple of times.

http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/

Also available (at least partially; I'm not sure if he actually finishes it) on Masterpiece Fanfiction Theater as read by Bennet the Sage. Decide how you feel about that:

https://archive.org/details/bliptv-20131014-233622-Btsagereviews-MFT12264


 No.8671

>>8658

There's actually some continuity to these stories. Well, to some of them. 47 kills Hitler, and as a result, the future is dominated by Soviets. Then in another story, some other vidya characters fight Stalin, and all that. I have the old PDF's, but can't post them.

Also, thanks for posting Full Life Consequences. The dramatic reading of that shit was fucking hilarious.

>>8665

Of course I know My Immortal! Best bad fiction ever, along with Half Life - Full Life Consequences.


 No.8678

>>8671

Those three in specific didn't innovate.


 No.8681

>>8678

That's true. They were probably just filler, or something.


 No.8818

File: 1456507593324.jpg (74 KB, 960x946, 480:473, 12799087_10208785169249677….jpg)

EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP

SHUT

THE

FUCK

UP

THE FOLLOWING IS THE GREATEST PEICE OF FANFICTION THAT WAS EVER CREATED.

IT CONTAINS THE SINGLE GREATEST SENTENCE IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. RICKY GERVAIS CAN FUCK OFF HE WAS WRONG.

http://jeconais.fanficauthors.net/This_Means_War/3__Poor_Draco/

IT FUCKING ENDS WITH DRACO MALFOY COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET. THIS IS THE MOST AUTISTIC TUMBLR-TIER SHIT EVER!

GREATEST SENTENCE(S) EVER WRITTEN IN ENGLISH LITERATURE. "CALL ME ISHMAEL" CAN SODOMIZE ITSELF WITH A HARPOON GUN.

"The blond boy was no longer Malfoy, a figure to be feared. He was now just Draco, a brave boy open about his sexuality."


 No.8820


 No.8821

File: 1456518110204.jpg (92.69 KB, 500x500, 1:1, 20goodmen.jpg)

>>8820

forgot pic

let me post


 No.8825

File: 1456537018825.webm (5.97 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, Half-Life_ Hero Beggining.webm)

>>8436

might as well post the reading of the sequel. or prequel? its been years since i actually read this


 No.8827

CIA Rises.

It's been removed from the website.


 No.8980

File: 1457411182769.jpg (125.02 KB, 960x1280, 3:4, batman fanfic.jpg)


 No.8984

>>8980

is it selfpublished or official?




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