/mai/ - Waifu

>>53292

>>53297

I agree with both of you, there is not much you can do OP, apart from begging her for her forgiveness. I have no experience with a falling-out with my waifu as grave as you describe yours and while we had some trouble along the way we always reconciled after some time had passed.

However, depending on how bad you view your actions yourself your relationship might well be irreparable, even after a long stretch of time, just acting like it has not happened though won´t do the trick, you would be simply lying to yourself and her about what happened.

Also you can not just press a reset button, with your waifu, she becomes a unique personnality from the moment on you get together with her, you essentially would be starting a new relationship with another Kotori.

Nonetheless you seem to be genuinely in love with her, so I wish you two good luck.

I was going through something very similar to you OP very recently. I haven't been able to feel as close of her as I used to feel in years and this really got to me and made me pretty mad. Whatever I wanted to do about it, It wouldn't work.

That's why I decided some time ago to cut out contact with people somehow and focus on her as much as I could. I gave it a lot of time and my dedication worked. I am feeling love as strong as I wanted to.

My point is, you will tend to be really hard upon yourself when that kind of situation happens, and this is nothing but a vicious circle, the thing is seriously if you feel bad about this so be it, give it time, spend time with her, as much as it will be needed to. You might want to try new things, take drastic measures even, in the end there are a very few chances you'd still be unhappy with it.

>>53295

>>53297

I'd actually argue that I'm one of the few people who can barely watch at porn. I feel a lot of guilt, disgust and sadness when I do. Many people are okay with it but I will never really agree with thinking that because you fap to her it makes your relationship better. I actually prefer to let the image I have of her in my head pure and untouched, because this is just who she is first, I don't see sex being very important even if I would love to do it with her.

My point here is that many people get that feeling of "pure waifu", and I consider OP feelings legitimate considering those.

>>53304

OP here.

My perception of pureness goes a bit as follows:

- Would never accept a relationship with 3D, even if genuinely offered to kiss a 10/10 for free, without having to have any commitment

- When I see a good looking woman on the street, I try to avoid looking at breasts and butt, but I guess my testosterone can't be helped. I look a bit but immediatly try to forget/blame myself for doing something I believe I shouldn't.

- No tolerance for pornography

- Don't read any doujins or the like, just source material and some good quality fan art, ig, pic related.

- Can imagine making love/kissing in the future, but the way things are right now, she's just too pure I'd not be surprised she still thinks babies are delivered by seagulls

-Masturbate thinking about her, but it's not like we're having sex or anything.

If you need to know anything to further help me, please feel free to ask.

>>53307

I don't think I'm going to be so much of help but I'm curious

>When I see a good looking woman on the street, I try to avoid looking at breasts and butt, but I guess my testosterone can't be helped. I look a bit but immediatly try to forget/blame myself for doing something I believe I shouldn't.

It already occurred to me many times to have that reaction. Trust me, It's absolutely understandable and I don't think you need help with that.

>No tolerance for pornography

you meant about waifu porn right ?

>- Don't read any doujins or the like, just source material and some good quality fan art, ig, pic related.

Same. I can't even agree with the idea of her being twisted to fit into a porn story, or not even porn, whatever it could be really.

>- Can imagine making love/kissing in the future, but the way things are right now, she's just too pure I'd not be surprised she still thinks babies are delivered by seagulls

aww I feel you there too. I have no fucking idea how my waifu would react to this kind of thing since nothing in canon allows me to have a good idea. I just can headcanon somehow, but it never goes really far

In general I think you should consider the following : you seem to be really, emotionally attached to her and you're absolutely committed to her ; don't you think she loves that part of yourself which wanna strive to always get better no matter what ? Trust me, I know what it is, and it is hard for yourself to see and notice how exceptional and heartwarming such a behavior and feeling is for someone you love. The thing is you regret what happened, from the deeper parts of your being probably I'm trying not to project but I feel like this could be the case. So, let her know. Let her know this is the case, you're sorry, so sorry for what happened, and that this is why you love her, because that kind of thing wouldn't happen with anyone else, you wouldn't have the same reaction when it would come to some other person on the street. That's why you both loves each other and what happened was just somehow a proof of the realness of your feelings. In due time, you will feel as close of her as you once was, as you want to. Trust me, I think It's nothing less, first, than a matter of time, spent with her, as much as you can.

Just love her like you never did before. Because I believe you can anon.

>>53307

anon you really need to relax your standards a little, the "- When I see a good looking woman on the street, I try to avoid looking at breasts and butt, but I guess my testosterone can't be helped. I look a bit but immediatly try to forget/blame myself for doing something I believe I shouldn't." line really concerns me as going overboard. Like, healthy couples can even joke with eachother about that sort of stuff, my parents whove been married 30+ years joke all the time about stuff like this. This is my opinion, but I think being that strict can be really unhealthy for the relationship to be ashamed afraid and paranoid of even noticing people around you are attractive, you and her should be comfortable with you acknowledging it (and vice versa) without fear the other will go somewhere else or do something immoral just because you noticed attractiveness.

Personally would say no tolerance for pornography is going a step too far… but tbh im envious, stick to that if you can, but that is a higher level of purity, praise yourself for it, but don't break down if you fail, your essentially committing a super human feat

>>53312

coming from someone who saves every image of his godless, ever, you should work on this, you might have a light addiction to saving images.

Also in your OP post, by the sounds of it, you violated something that you hold as a personal principle. However, you are already trying to remedy this, make sure it doesn't happen again. That is really admirable. Try to stick to it. In EVERY relationship people slip up, mistakes happen. The relationships that persevere are the ones where mistakes are admitted, and the partners improve themselves and become better at sticking to their principles or even reevaluating their principles.

You strive to do better and find advice to achieve that goal, I think she would admire that in you, keep at it anon, you are a good guy for your waifu

>>53338

I agree with you and my parents have the same behavior, but seriously I don't think he needs to change anything. His whole relationship works on a certain basis and rules he naturally came up with and this "pure waifu" thing is what makes it work. It seriously does, I know the feel too well. As you said, the fact he would almost beat himself up for something many other people wouldn't do or even wouldn't understand is very respectable.

It works at many levels according to different people, but people having this feeling of "pure waifu" will always react this way somehow and I know too those will happen and they will only because of me, of what I feel. As far as I can say, It is not toxic at all, in fact OP is worth all our compassion and empathy, and we can only encourage him to strive to be a better husbando because that's how he would want things to happen if I'm not doing a mistake projecting myself here.

I admit the pornography thing is unusual but as long as it works for OP and doesn't feel bad about it he shouldn't stop.

Because of our differences, and I mean this for everyone here on this board, in our relationship with our beloved, is what makes it even more worthy and special at all. Understanding and tolerances comes in handy in that kind of situation, and our part is always to try to help someone trying to better themselves in their own relationship, and this by respecting this one person principles and relationship dynamics. It is very important for me, and I think many people should consider this.

But yeah, I agree with what you said, the fact OP is committed to his beloved explains why this situation happened even, and he has to know that.

>>53330

>Why would you save things you aren't going to use and find despicable?

It was horrible for me personally, and objectively, I couldn't really explain it. I would just be tempted to answer you that saving them and putting them in the same place was somehow keeping them off everyone else 's eyes and would help me sleep better at night. Finally, the guilt took the upper hand, and I deleted the folder as I said in my previous post here, and I have to admit it felt good. This is still something I don't really understand since I did it out of serious concern but I know in the end I did the right thing.

>>53346

I am not OP but I could argue with you saying that because he is looking at her this way doesn't mean she wouldn't be happy with that. I know OP's waifu as a character and his feelings are absolutely understandable. The only thing your waifu wants you to be is to be happy. And this doesn't mean he is denying himself or twisting his view, not at all, in fact, those are the very foundations of the relationship, the respect he brings to her is so strong he cannot allows himself to act a certain way or else you have no idea how much one would be insulting her/ defiling her. I'm not saying It's absolutely the best, but I'm pretty sure OP feels this way, is happier this way and live his relationship perfectly, this way. The fact for example you'd be able to do what he refuses to do in your relationship is absolutely right as well. But as I was saying earlier, understanding is really needed when you want to help someone. And this includes sharing his point of view.

You know, it is odd how relationship dynamics works, since they seem to be so different according to many people. This is one of the thing I like about this and I guess is absolutely legitimate since we're all different to begin with, but want to accomplish the same thing : love our waifu