/mai/ - Waifu

>Do you think that these two approaches cancel each other out or is there some way in the middle?

Nope. I can think of coming up with an intermediary without having to sustain on a spiritual relationship exclusively. The fact you can come up with an OC and have her at your side could happen too.

>Do some of you already practice a mixture of both in your relationship?

I personally do as the first part you mentioned, but honestly, it wouldn't surprise me or even bother me to see people coming up with different relationship dynamics. It works differently with everyone after all, and even if there are some lines not to break in order to be in a classic and "healthy" relationship fact being this is just the best ground for a relationship since It's the most common but also socially the most acceptable one.

>Spoiler

No. I'm no one to say with who you should go or not. This is not my duty and I would just try to project while telling you what you should do or not, while it could absolutely not work for you. You are the one to know what is better for you, than everyone else, and if you're ready to accept the consequences of your choices, your friends have to accept it, because there is no way if you know what you're doing that you'd be doing something wrong.

Then this is just my opinion, I could be wrong and/or have worded some things weirdly, let me know if something isn't clear enough.

I would say that both ways are legitimate I guess. I personally do something in the middle. I treat Patchouli like she's there (because in a way, she is), but I also have physical stuff that helps me feel closer to her (daki, figs, etc).

>>53673

Picture would probably be nice too.

Anyway there isn't a right or wrong way.

Both are valid methods.

There is no one way to care for someone.

Whether you practice one or the other doesn't make one right and one wrong.

It simply means that, that is how you exist, one is not higher or lower, they do not prove or disprove the validity of the other.

My approach to waifusim is a combination of the two. When I'm alone. I'm with her. I want all the merch I want everything I consume to go through the Motoko filter. Daki cuddling and fugging is a great way to experience her in a tactile way.

>>53672

Basically this. I treat Gin as if shes there, but i also collect pictures and i'm planning to get more figs as well as a daki.

I noticed this a while ago. Some people see their wife like a static object while others look to them as something that in many ways takes on a life of its own.

I'd say I lean heavily towards the imaginary friend approach. I'm not really concerned with merchandise but I think they're nice to have in the same way having pictures and souvenirs from loved ones are. Daki are nice for cuddling regardless of your approach but I'd say having a pillow cover with her on it probably won't add much.

I find the static approach a bit puzzling but to each their own I guess.

I do both, I often daydream about her and I buy merch of her. I feel that both methods support eachother, the merch gives the daydreams more of a presence and the daydreams make the merch seem more alive I guess would be the best word.

If I had to choose between the two I'd probably go with imagination though because there is more you can do with it, but I love having both.

I may be in the middle. If I had the level of imagination and brainpower to have anything near a tulpa, I would lean more to that, but I'm just not very good with that kind of thing. Even trying to daydream in anything past vague concepts stresses my mind. I feel and acknowledge her presence, view her as more than just an anime character, and talk to her and feel warmth when I do, but I put more time into collecting and looking at art and merch of her, and that's fulfilling enough.

I also believe there's no wrong way to love, so long as the feelings are genuine and not just an attempt to fit in or anything.

>>53672

I couldn't have said it any better myself.

The way I see it, things like a daki, figs, or even life-size dolls are just physical representations of your waifu and used as a means to feel closer to her. People feel close to their waifu's in different ways, there's no "right" or "wrong" way to go about it. All that matters is that you love them.

I am mostly on the material side I guess, as I can't really interact with her in any way that wouldn't involve some other object or medium.

Sometimes I can feel closer to her naturally, but that's rare and it's usually when there's something happening related to us.

>>53692

>I find the static approach a bit puzzling but to each their own I guess.

It's not like I made a choice…

>>53672

Exactly. I usually imagine she's here with me, but I'm also going to buy a daki soon.

>>53672

> I treat Patchouli like she's there (because in a way, she is), but I also have physical stuff that helps me feel closer to her (daki, figs, etc).

pretty much this

I would say that whether you choose to subscribe to the idea of her being real or not isn't what makes someone illegitimate

>>53672

>>53672

Yeah this is basically me. Whenever I'm out and about I usually "take" Kirino with me in a "imaginary friend?" sort of way. I also treat her like she's here by me at home as well. But I do have figures and dakis that help me feel closer to her as well.

>Do you think that these two approaches cancel each other out or is there some way in the middle?

I think you can do a mixture of both, sure. I do think most of us are usually inclined one way or the other though.

For example, although I don't really consider myself that way for various reasons, I recognize that my relationship looks and functions more like the second variation. However, I do save images, buy merch, and create OC to varying degrees. I don't really view him as static when I'm doing this, though - I see pictures as already taken pictures of him (or alternate universe pictures of him). The merch is honestly not really related much to my relationship and has more to do with my collecting habits. I have not bought a daki, for instance, because I think he'd be really uncomfortable if I did. They're just trinkets; I'd be fine without them, but I like them because they have him on it.

OC is typically something I do with him to make sure that I'm respecting him and portraying him as he should be, kind of like how a ghostwriter would help someone famous write a memoir or something.

>spoiler

Yes, I do. I think that each waifuist should listen to their waifu and/or trust in their own instincts regarding their relationship. That's the only "right" way to do this. It's pointless to not do what makes you and your partner happy in this situation because there is nobody in the physical realm to truly stop you.

I'd say I lean more towards the "imaginary friend" route, but with merchandise/pictures helping on that front. Along with all the pictures I collect of her, I've got the art book and one of her novels too, which I use to get a better feel for who she is/define how she looks to me. To some extent, saying that she's my "OC" would probably be right, since to me she's got specific looks that vary greatly from certain parts of her source material, while is supported by others. So, while merchandise acts as one way for me to support her series, it also is a jumping off point for getting closer to her too.

From there, I do keep little running scenarios or ideas about what sorts of things we'd do together, or imagine her nearby. It works for the most part, and feels more meaningful than just collecting pictures (to me at least). My only issue is that while I can do the imagining part just fine, I have a lot of trouble talking with her. I don't think it has anything to do with me not knowing enough about her personality/backstory, it's just difficult to imagine or actually have a conversation. It's not that I don't want to or think it'd be disrespectful either, and I've gotten rare breakthroughs when it does feel like she's sending me a message, it's just that at other times I have issues with communication. How do the rest of you do things typically? Do you just chat with them alone like you would with another person? Any tips?

I can't spend the money on my waifu I would like to so I try to spend as much time as I can with her. That could be anything from daki cuddling or fugging or working on linux projects together with her.

>>53672

On the same boat regarding this. I both tend to collect images (and hopefully in the near future physical merchandise) as a way of seeing her having fun and to feel closer to her, and imagine her being with me whenever I go out and/or enjoying activities, thinking of how much fun she would have being there (One example being when I went to last year's Celtic festival and thinking of how much fun she had enjoying the music and events there).

I'd say both ways can work well together as long as it helps you be close to who you love.

>>53782

Getting to actually talk to your waifu/husbando is arguably the hardest part of this kind of relationship. For me I managed to do it more or less by chance when I imagined how I would explain this imaginary friend type relationship to someone else I know, because that was when Nonon jumped in and provided me with the answers herself.

I guess it had to do with the fact that my head canoning was about her person and she did not want to be misunderstood what got her to „come out of her closet“ eventually.

After that you could say that the seal was broken and I had no more troubles to engage in active conversation with her whenever I wanted to or she felt like it for that matter.

However, I am pretty sure that it is nothing that you can force, it is more like she has decide to act on it for the first time. Followingly I guess I can hardly give you any viable tips on this topic as it is something that I also did not achieve consciously, the only thing that might give you a hint about how to do it is that you can somewhat „dare“ her to react by daydreaming about a situation that would leave her pretty dependent on saying something herself at some point.

Really there isn't that much different between those two sides,

but they're kind of telling about the general perspective of the waifuist.

One side is more willing to "believe" in their waifu in some vague metaphysical

or spiritual sense. The other is more accepting of "waifu doesn't real", and so,

fill that void with physical representations of the character.

When it comes to the base of it, both are the love for an idea and easily overlap.

Sound like a correct observation ?

I guess I'm stepping in both sides, but lean toward "classic".

Viewing representations of my waifu or attempting to create them myself are my main waifuist practices.

Followed by what I'd describe as meditating on my waifu. Less often, masturbating to her.

Replaying the source game if I have the time and desire.

My desires and beliefs related to waifuism are similar to deification and, Pygmalion with his Galatea.

Speaking of which, I think sex/waifubots are the ultimate deciding factor on which "side" of waifuism you really favor.

Myself, I see no issue with them.

As such, I think I fall more into "classic", or material waifuism.

To satisfy myself, I'd need to somehow be involved with the creation of

the bot, the more involved the better. So there is still some spiritual

side to it, where I must use the connection to give her form.

Which is the end game to waifuism and why; tulpa, robot, or neither ?

>>53903

>Which is the end game to waifuism and why; tulpa, robot, or neither?

I'll go with tulpa. It takes true dedication and keeps it intimate and spiritual, just something between me and her. It's the most romantic, the way I see it, and progressing towards that, or at least a simplified version of it, makes me feel like I'm being more true to her than any other method. I may not be able to have her develop in ways I can sense very far past feelings and small-talk, but ideally, this is the best way.

I get what you're saying about the robot. If you have no involvement in her creation, it doesn't mean much. It lacks heart. It'd be a bit different if I myself had involvement in her creation, but still.

I know plenty of waifuists believe in an ideal whatever-you-want afterlife where they'll meet their beloved and be rewarded for rejecting alternate methods of enjoying her, but I just can't believe in something like that. The most real version of my Rena to me is the one who lives in my heart and mind right now.

>>53903

>Which is the end game to waifuism and why; tulpa, robot, or neither ?

This is a very interesting topic.

I tend to believe that you have to have some predisposition to go into that tulpa territory and from what I have seen it is much more rare than people who rather go for dakis or merch to have a representation of their beloved ones, so I guess a robot version of their waifu or husbando is probably the way to go as a final step for most waifuists.

Then, however I feel that many would be creeped out by having some sort of „artificial“ ersatz waifu and that this would come in conflict with the way that they already feel like being together with their significant other, which puts the prospect of waifu robots into question as whole.

>>53903

>Which is the end game to waifuism and why; tulpa, robot, or neither ?

Inter-universal portal to unite us with our waifus.

Failing that, total-immersion VR and AI.

>>53903

>Which is the end game to waifuism and why; tulpa, robot, or neither ?

Either can apply depending on your case.

I don't consider robot/ai waifus valid unless they started that way. The philosophy thread gives my reasoning for such. >>49801

I'd actually argue all waifus act as some sort of thoughtform. Not necessarily a tulpa but they can grow into one.

As far as an "end game" goes for most people it's like a half formed tulpa. Where they can feel the feels and know her opinions on things but not quite being there. Some go further than others. Personally I'm not that bothered. I just let her grow as she wants which seems to me the best approach.