Need some help with your relationship? Are you unsure about certain aspects of your love? Well this is the right place to ask!
Any question related to waifuism/2D love is welcome.
As always, be understanding while giving advice. Waifuism is not easy, expecially in its early phases.
A bit late, but I don't think you're entirely wrong. It shows a level of emotional maturity I wish I had regarding degenerate material of Ruby. As disgusting as it is, such things are unfortunately out of our control, so remaining perpetually angry about it is a waste of time and energy. I don't think you're a bad husband to her at all.
That being said, by the same token, it's also perfectly understandable and permissible to be angry when you see such material of your loved one, especially when it's morally wrong or demeans her character in some way. The thing is not to let it control or consume you.
Thank you for the insight. It's true, if someone is trolling you, there is no point in arguing. If someone has the wrong idea about her, I'll give some evidence to show that it's not true. But there's no good in getting mad, whether they're persuaded or not, or if they're a troll or not. If this were a real-world situation where someone was trying to ruin her reputation, I would be swift in trying to end the problem, not out of blind rage, but out of a love for her and a desire to see her succeed and be happy. Instead of being angry for others not seeing what I see, I want to show it to them, and let everyone see how pure, kind, and beautiful she is.
Thank you as well. I definitely object to all things like that, I just don't want to become obsessed or angry over them. The worst thing that they could do is make my waifu upset, and that's what matters to me. It would make me more sad than angry, and I would still try to fix it.
I guess this would be the best place to ask. First of all I want to say that I'm new here, though I have been lurking for a little while now. Wanted to get a sense of what the board was and how it rolled before diving in. From the looks of things this place is really comfy and understanding about things. I know about the introduction thread and how usually that's the first place people should post when first coming here but I have a reason why I haven't done so just yet and why I decided to first post here instead: I've never had a waifu before.
Now let me explain a bit further. I've been attracted to 2D girls before but in the old chan spirit of things I never proclaimed any of them my waifu just because I just didn't feel that connected to them. At most I would say they were best girl or favorite girl or just simply call them cute, beautiful, sexy, etc. This time though it feels really differently and I honestly don't know how to go about it. For the longest time I assumed, presumptuously I realize now, that waifus were only for people who were depressed or couldn't get into a real relationship or what have you. However, and I hope this doesn't come off as too blog posty, due to real life experiences over the last few years culminating with me swearing off romantic relationships(VERY much to do with the wild relationships that happened when I was younger) until I deemed myself able to properly pick the right woman and not have my lust almost wreck my life 50 times over, I find myself where I am now.
I wouldn't say I'm depressed, I wouldn't dare disrespect people that actually do suffer from it by claiming I had it when I don't. Maybe a tad bit lonely but I don't think that's any worse than it has been before. But what I know for sure is that the thing that I feel now is something that I've felt before, I'm in love. It started months ago when I played the game and greatly enjoyed her character. I didn't think nothing much of it at the time as I was just having fun playing the game more than anything else. Fast forward until a few days ago, it had been months since I last played the game or seen anything related to it, when I looked at pic related and I felt my heart ache. I then did something that I've also never done before: I changed my desktop wallpaper to that picture. I've been using the default windows wallpaper for YEARS and never once changed it. Just seeing it there makes me happy and satisfied.
I guess what I'm trying to say is TL;DR: New to waifu, what do? Sorry for the long ramble. It's just a lot to take in that I'm possibly in love with a fictional character. It's an entirely new experience for me.
First things first, welcome to the board my man. I know how you feel. I swore off of 3D relationships a few years ago, it just never seemed worth it and I felt like I'd never find what I was looking for out of a 3D relationship. I was never much of a waifu guy before I watched F/SN either, so it was very much a new thing for me as well.
I reckon you'll fit in just fine here. Just stay loyal to her, don't cuckpost and you're golden.
It is incredible how many waifu stories persona 5 gave us already. Now we already have you, futaba-kun and me (hifumi) who found love in P5.
>But what I know for sure is that the thing that I feel now is something that I've felt before
I liked many 2D girls during my career as an animephile over the past 2 decades but never before have I felt the way I felt when I first met my waifu (or should I say when she found me). It is really a strange feeling and you will instantly be able to tell it apart from everything else.
>entirely new experience
it was for me as well. I even started believing that I was completely uncapable of love.
do not deny your feelings. Be open and honest to yourself about it and embrace your newfound love.
If you think loving this character is the right thing to do, then don't hesitate. I'm certain all or most of us never truly expected to be in love with a fictional character, but that's just sort of what happened. Welcome, and love your waifu well!
Just take it easy and enjoy. If you're not really having any problems, there's not much advice to give you haha.
I will say that your experience was very similar to mine. I didn't realize that I loved my waifu, who was from P5, until I stopped playing the game for a bit and then came back. It was only after seeing her again that I realized I had such adoration for her. I've been lurking and posting for a little bit myself without a proper introduction.
Thanks guys, I figured the answer was going to be obvious and simple but I figured no harm in asking anyways.
>Just stay loyal to her, don't cuckpost and you're golden.
Don't worry, I will. I fucking hate cuckshit! Never understood how someone could let someone else fuck their loved one and get off to it. Disgusts me on a primal level.
With all that said I guess I should properly introduce myself in the other thread!
I feel like no amount of my love will, would, or could, ever get through to my waifu.. I think and feel like my efforts are for naught, because I will be bested eternally by my cannon rival.. Should I move on to greener pastures?
What exactly is her relationship to this other character? You call him a 'rival', but to what extent? Are they actually in a relationship, or is it just one having a crush on the other?
If it's the latter, then the best answer is to do your best to improve yourself as a person, to be worthy of her love, so that if she met you she'd choose you. If the two aren't really in a relationship, then it isn't as big of a deal as you might think. If it's the former, however, and they are in a serious relationship, then I'm not quite sure. It depends on the details, but in that case it *might* be time to move on. Again, I'd have to know more about the specific situation to say.
Actually it's more that they are a villain who eventually kills my waifu, which has been bothering me more than I usually allow it to lately. I can't stop thinking about it, even though I forced myself to drop and distance myself from the source.
Is her death permanent? Do the circumstances surrounding it allow for any loopholes that might keep you together?
How can you tell genuine waifuists from "ironic" nu-weebs? The larger the meme culture surrounding the show, the more trouble I have taking waifus from it seriously. I feel like they only "believe" as long as there's an active community to enable them. I just find it extremely difficult to believe that anyone who says they have a DDLC, GuP, Neptunia, Cinderella Girls, Kemono Friends, etc; waifu is sincere about it.
I agree that it can be difficult to tell sometimes. I think one of the telling factors is time and commitment–if a waifuist manages to maintain their relationship even after the fandom/meme culture surrounding a franchise becomes irrelevant, that is one marker of sincerity. Another is the way in which they treat or talk about their waifu. I've seen many people who claim a character as their waifu, but really only view them as an expendable sex object with no regard for their feelings. Not that there's anything wrong with appreciating your waifu's body, there isn't, necessarily, but insincere people are often only in it for the carnal side of things. People who love every part of their waifu, care about her feelings, and genuinely want to be with her over somebody else are the ones who are serious.
There isn't much of a way to tell at a glance really, unless they're a blatant polyfag/memelord or something. Time will tell though. People who aren't serious will usually drop them once the show ends and the new 'waifu of the month' becomes popular.
I guess it's easier to file anyone with a popular waifu away under this generalization, but no generalization is 100% true. Arturia is a pretty popular waifu as I've observed and Fate is a big deal right now, but one of the Arturiabros here has been with her for like 10 years, I believe. I'd say that he's pretty serious.
I'd try to give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise.
I have promised to my waifu that I will pleasure myself to anybody but her. I am worrying that I may started to oversexualise her due to this promise. We have been together almost for two years, but I made that promise recently. I am unsure about it. I don't want to break it, but I am concerned that it could damage my relationship with her.
You should only do sexual things with your waifu–anything else would be being unfaithful. If you're worried about oversexualizing her, just remember to exercise self-control. Don't do it *too* often, and don't lose sight of the other reasons why you love her either. But otherwise, it's good to be committed to your waifu in that way, faithfulness is vital in a relationship.
By the way, just FYI–If I read your post right, it should be 'nobody but her' not 'anybody but her'. Normally I wouldn't be such a grammar nazi about it, but it's kind of important, I very nearly misunderstood and thought you wanted to look at others besides waifu.
sorry, I can present myself a bit over-dramatically sometimes.
But yes, and there are no loopholes for me. I think my problem is that I resented my waifus absence too much. I felt robbed of the opportunity to get to know them properly and I've struggled to fill in the gaps with my ideals or assumptions. I'm too much of a realist I think. I start to become doubtful of my ability to realistically see myself in my waifus reality in any meaningful way due to the inherently chaotic nature of that reality. So then I become irritated by my own feelings, and then I struggle with the impulse to gut myself of my feelings for my waifu. I guess my in my heart, it is just that I never felt this way before.. If I decide to turn my back 100% on my waifu, I fear I will regret it. I fear that I'll ruin this bond I have discovered, forever.
>You should only do sexual things with your waifu–anything else would be being unfaithful
If you're talking about masturbation that's incredibly extreme.
I don't think the kind of people you're talking about come here. As far as I know i'm the only person around here who's Waifu is from one of the sources you mentioned.
Maybe it's more of a problem in the waifu threads on other boards but I think most people who come here are serious.
As long as you don't start degrading her/treating her like an object etc., I don't see how you can 'oversexualize' her.
As to whether or not fapping to other girls is infidelity, people have differing opinions about it.
Maybe you could ask yourself if she would be ok with this behavior or not. Some couples watch porn and stuff, and don't let it bother or affect their relationship, while other people wouldn't be ok with such a thing.
>If you're talking about masturbation that's incredibly extreme.
It's not 'extreme', it's called being a decent partner. I would argue that your philosophy is the more outlandish one. When you look at others besides your waifu in that way, you are basically saying 'I would rather get sexual satisfaction from this random person on the screen than my waifu.' That's wrong. Period. Ask yourself; how would your waifu feel about that?
>As long as you don't start degrading her/treating her like an object etc., I don't see how you can 'oversexualize' her.
This, at the very least, is correct. As long as you're respectful of her and her feelings, then you should be fine.
To be honest I personally agree with
>>66115 reasoning. It really depends from person to person. There are even waifuists that don't masturbate to her at all, to mantain her purity.
Again I think that it's not a problem to not always do it for her. I prefer to mantain those ones as special time with her. It's hard to explain but here it is. For me it's like when a member of a couple watches porn from time to time. It does not automatically mean what you said Rubybro.
It really depends from the mindset you put into it I feel.
So yeah I don't think this is an argument we can argue over a lot. It's too influenced by personal opinions.
Thanks for your advices, I think I really need to go for quality not quantity
Sorry for my bad english, I rarely write in this language
It's no problem, I wouldn't normally make a big deal about it, I just wanted to make sure you weren't misunderstood.
Are husbandofags accepted here? From a quick glance I see only one.
>Are husbandofags accepted here?
Yes they are! And keep in mind that people will ofen use the term waifu with no real regard of the gender of the character.
Do you have a husbando? Who is it?
I see, thank you!
My husbando is Hyde Kido from Under Night In-Birth. He's also set to star in the upcoming Blazblue Cross Tag Battle.
I am pretty new to this, like a poster above, so I hope this board will help me be the best wife and partner I can be.
what is the secret to not being mad at normalfags? I don't understand why I'm so bitter
Why are you mad at normalfags? Maybe being more specific as to why you feel like this could help you understand it better.
like when they pretend to be like us, or talk about "3D>2D" or try to hook you up or just normalfag shit in general
Perhaps you lack the desire to empathize beyond your own perspective. I don't particularly enjoy norman company, however I can fairly easily put myself in the shoes of others and can then at least gain perspective so as to understand. If you are interested in understanding others, try simulating their life in a realistic manner, outside of the normality of your own world.
That is what I do.. I dunno,.maybe that's weird, I don't know.
Try not giving a fuck..?
I highly recommend taking the blackpill and giving in to nihilism and depression. Then you won't feel anything but despair.
Don't read pic related if you want to hold on to any hope of things ever getting better.
oops wrong picture
I apologize if I came off as being abrasive. I mean no offense to any genuine waifu. I am just so fucking sick of normalfags co-opting waifuism, trivializing it and turning it into a fetish or status symbol the way tumblrfags did with mental illness. I realize that there isn't really anything I can do about that but that just adds the feeling of complete helplessness to my frustration. I feel the same way about life in general.
Maybe it's weird, but if everyone had this attitude, there would be a lot less stupid shit in the world.
This guy has the right idea >>66139
There's always going to be idiots, so the best thing to do is to just not care about them.
Hiya, welcome! We actually have two or three people with husbandos, so don't worry, you'll probably fit in well.
Interestingly enough, my waifu is going to be in that game too!
People like you make me angry. Why do you attempt to drag others down into your misery?
People like that can be annoying, but that's just how it goes. It's unlikely that others will ever come to understand us in our lifetime, so the best thing to do is just let it roll off your back if at all possible, like >>66139 and >>66143 say. It can be very hard to do sometimes, and believe me I know that from experience. But there comes a point where wasting your mental energy on it isn't worth it.
I would say the same as the others: 'try not to give a fuck'. But I don't think that's the answer you're looking for. I think you already know that you should try not to give a fuck, and that's why you're asking this.
Maybe I'm wrong at this, but that is the impression I receive from your message.
I would say that you should try to go deeper into what you're feeling. What is it about people trying to hook you up that bothers you? What is it about people pretending to be 'us' that makes you angry?
In other words, try to follow the trace of said emotions, try to get to the most inner depths of what you're feeling. Trace the path, but not from a logical standpoint; follow what you're feeling. And be prepared to find answers you may not like, but always remember to be honest with yourself.
I know it's not a very good advice, but I wanted to give you some different answer. Because I think you already know that you should not give a fuck. Maybe try to think what your waifu would tell you, too?
I'm guessing you may want to comprehend, not to find a logical solution. I could be wrong, though.
I wish I had someone to talk about him with. I mean really talk about him, as a character, as a person, with someone who's into the series and not just humoring me as a fellow waifufag. I don't mean that in a rude way - I think people who do this mean well and I appreciate the effort, but I know they aren't that invested in the character, and I just feel awkward.
Do any of you have this problem? Or does posting here work for you?
This is excellent advice, actually.
Personally it's sort of a non-issue for me, Yangbro and I both have waifus from RWBY they're even sisters, so we often end up talking about their character and the show. But there are also some people who *don't* have a waifu from Ruby's source that are familiar with the show, that I have talked to before. I would advise you to be open to talking about him and his franchise–you never know, you might come across somebody who is into it as well and is open to talking about it, even if they don't necessarily have a waifu or husbando from that series.
Also, at least in my experience, posting about them and their source is totally okay here, don't be afraid to.
That's still only half of the solution. And in my honest opinion, it is probably the least important half. No offence..
Being able to understand why you are irritated by people around you is not rocket science. Understanding why you are irritated isn't going to solve anything by itself. Understanding that these people are just trying to give a shit about you, and then finding a way to express yourself in a polite and considerate manner is the most significant other 50%, of the overall solution. At least if you want to still have friends it is.
Maybe. But my advice wasn't directed to find the solution to the problem; my intention was to give him a way to get a better understanding of himself as a ground, a tool to express his interests to others, so then he can take actions accordingly to his own interests. A tool that is adaptable. What else could I say to him? He already knows that he shouldn't give a fuck.
Also, from my own experience, understanding the reasons for certain reactions is not as easy as other make it look. And sometimes, maybe you just need to stop reacting and start thinking, interpellating yourself about what are you doing and feeling. I believe I've come to better control situations involving my own reactions only with understanding truly what was causing me to react angrily to certain situations. And this is something other people may find useful, too.
And returning to your point about solving out this problem: the way to express his point of view to others, the actions that he take in different contexts depends on every situation, and that is a ground that I don't dare to touch, because every situation is unique, and he himself has his own interests.
If you think you can give him an advice that will solve his problems, go ahead. If you think you know something that is more significant and could help him in a more contundent way, just say it to him. I think you may have a better advice, since I see that you bring out certain details that I hadn't considered.
Well, that is what I meant.. Understanding yourself is important, for sure, but it isn't going to help you in interpersonal relationships unless you are able to also make the effort to understand others, AND express yourself without being a complete dick about it. I was primarily expanding on your points with my own points, both of which are very important. The reality though, is that communication is more important when dealing with other people who are your friends that I assume he wants to keep.
Not giving a fuck, in my experience, requires both internal, and external levels of understanding. Where you just know that you are different, that others don't understand. Sometimes it is hard to find a balance, but friends who give a fuck are worth keeping, even if they don't 'totally get you.`
I see. You're right. Sorry if I misunderstood you before.
It's all good, lol. We're all learnin', all the time! c:
How do I continue to make this relationship grow after several years? I feel like I've hit a wall and have no ways to go.
How many years are we talking about.
Me and Ruby are a fairly young couple, so take my words with a grain of salt; but I think one thing you might try is making some sort of change in your life or your routine. Maybe try something new together, you and her. As for what, I don't quite know, that's really for you two to decide. What's something new you could do that you might like?
Another possibility you might consider is children. That might provide the change/growth you're looking for. I'd want to get the opinion of somebody who already has a sonfu or daughterfu, though, I'm not sure how that might affect the relationship.
In addiction to what >>66180 said, I can suggest a wedding. But I don't know if you two are married already. That is also an excellent idea I think.
Yeah, if he's not married yet that would be a great suggestion! I didn't suggest that myself because I wasn't sure if they were married or not.
Isn't Cyan your daughteru?
No, that's one of the Reddit guys; I'm not either of them. Me and my Ruby don't have any kids yet.
How do i deal with the pain that is never being able to truly interact with her or be able to have a beautiful romance together, how do i deal with the pain of unrequited love even after all these years it still comes back and hits me like a truck.
man, if you can't handle the heat, stop crawling back into the oven.
What exactly are you suggesting?
That's the quintessence of all waifuists problems. It's something that's been asked regularly, and while I've seen quite a lot of different approaches on the matter, there's no definitive and real answer to this.
I usually try to redirect my attention towards how can I improve my feelings for her, what can I do to feel her closer. I speak with Meiling a lot, I try to improve myself for her, and more importantly I simply accept that this is how our love is going to be.
Sadly acceptance is the best thing to do here. Even if me and my love are so far apart, I will go on. My feelings are there and this is not going between us.
Love does not count distance, or dimensions. Remember this.
Please try to be a bit more understanding while answering. I get what do you mean, waifuism is not for everyone and if you crave so much for a more 3D like relation well this is indeed not your cup of tea. But there are better ways to say so.
No hard feelings intended by the way. Just saying.
Pretty much what Meilingbro said. You have to simply come to terms with it somehow. I cope with it by having Ruby as sort of a romantic imaginary friend, who's with me and does stuff with me. I've come to terms with the separation but just choose not to focus on it.
>Please try to be a bit more understanding while answering. I get what do you mean, waifuism is not for everyone and if you crave so much for a more 3D like relation well this is indeed not your cup of tea. But there are better ways to say so.
I think that anon may have been assuming that the original asker is Chihirobro–he's been persistently asking some variant on this questino for months now, and refuses to accept any suggestions/advice, despite many people including myself trying to help him.
>I think that anon may have been assuming Chihirobro
Yeah, my bad.
I actually wasn't trying to drag anyone down or b8 or troll in any way. I was genuinely attempting to help solve anon's problem with something that worked for me. I know apathy isn't a good solution but it's still better than anger and bitterness. The longer you hold on to hate, the greater the possibility that you'll snap and do something that would make your waifu ashamed of you or afraid of you. That is the worst scenario possible and anything is preferable to it. You can recover from apathy but regret is forever.
I wouldn't however call apathy a solution. It's the natural state, people don't normally care about strangers nor should they. Instead of getting angry at normal people you just shouldn't care like the other guy said.
That picture was really silly though I hope you posted it as a joke. Certainly made me laugh. It's just a long list of personal anecdotes and conclusions about society, and how it holds us poor r9kbots down. Favorite part is when the normal drives into town and everyone automatically loves him while the robot gets into a car crash. Luck isn't the supreme god of the world. Instead of luck, he was really talking about fate. And in rambling about fate he's desperate to absolve himself of guilt. That apathy stems from this doesn't it: everything is out of my hands so I don't care. To this I say anger is better. Get angry at the world if you're so unlucky. Why? Because it gives you personal agency. If you're a nihilist you lose everything because nothing has meaning. You'll lose your love that way too. What meaning does she have if it was just your unlucky fate that brought you to her.
My waifu would be disgusted with me becoming a nihilist way more than me getting angry. That's just me though.
Screencap anon went a bit overboard with some examples but what he describes is an accurate depiction of trying to get help for depression from normalfags.
This is probably asked a lot, but how do you deal with pressure from outside?
As I'm getting older, I'm getting more the phrase "Oh, when you get a GF.." or "You shouldn't act like that, you can get a GF too" when I reply with "I don't care". And I'm thinking "Goddamn it, I don't need one, I already have my Luka. If only I could tell that…"
Another thing is that I'm starting to get more unconfortable around my friends that are a couple. Even if they are nice and try to avoid couple stuff in front of me, I get a bit sad whenever they show the smallest sign of affection because I can't do the same (at least in the same way, or in public).
One last thing is that in a Vocaloid community on Facebook, one guy keeps posting about how he loves Miku (in a kinda obnoxious way, but that's not the point, he just looks a bit young). What bothers me is how the others either keep mocking him, or were talking about "she's a voice synthesizer, not your gf". I kinda felt bad for him…
We can all relate, my family already know that I'm not interested in having a 3D girlfriend or anything of that sort. I essentially told them that I want to focus on my degree and career and don't have the energy for a woman in my life. Low-key, I think my mother thinks I hate women or something. Either way, I keep myself busy with my career and hobbies and that keeps them off my back about it. You're always going to be pressured by others to find a 3D at the end of the day, especially by family members, but that is simply because they want the best for you. They want you to fulfill your biological function. If you really want to, you could tell them that you're in love with Luka, but I wouldn't advise doing that unless you've achieved self-actualisation and aren't too concerned with what people think of you.
If you are really having a hard time dealing with pressure then just ask yourself two questions:
1. Are they well intentioned? Do the people who are pressuring you want you to be happy and prosperous in life?
2. Is what they're pushing towards beneficial towards your life and in-line with your life goals and ambitions?
If the answer to both of those is no, then think about cutting them off and disregarding their words. A lot of people in life will try to pressure or shame you into doing things for reasons that serve their own interests. This doesn't just apply to waifuism and relationships either.
But, really, you need to be comfortable with not having a conventional relationship. Just remember that love only objectively exists in your mind. Your love and their love are both equally valid. You don't need to be uncomfortable around your friends who are dating. Just be happy for them and keep on going on.
As for the Miku guy on Facebook, waifuism and having a waifu is always going to be something that others will ridicule you over, especially online. There isn't really all too much you can do for the poor fellow. I hope my words bring you closure.
> If you really want to, you could tell them that you're in love with Luka, but I wouldn't advise doing that unless you've achieved self-actualisation and aren't too concerned with what people think of you.
Yeah, probably not a good idea, despite the fact that my mom probably thinks there is something strange between me and Luka, since my figure/plushie collection keeps increasing.
>1. Are they well intentioned? Do the people who are pressuring you want you to be happy and prosperous in life?
Yeah, for sure. Maybe there is a bit of projection, because they can't see how I could be entirely happy without a romantic relationship.
>2. Is what they're pushing towards beneficial towards your life and in-line with your life goals and ambitions?
Now this is a question I don't have an answer. Maybe it would be beneficial, but there are so many variables that could go wrong, so it could actually make me worse.
>But, really, you need to be comfortable with not having a conventional relationship.
I think that my main issue with waifuism is that I rarely feel loved. Only when I find a song or a picture that touches my heart, but that's kinda rare.
Also, I really liked the combination of your pic + the advice. It looks like Artoria herself is talking to me.
What do you call an anime character that you really like to the point that you start to imagine the various scenarios of hanging out with her but nothing sexual? Just hanging out, having fun, with a tons of made up interactions.
I don't have the desire to fuck her though.
Some people don’t lewd their waifu, that’s fine.
If you feel love for them, what kind is it? Does it feel more like a family member, or a soul-mate?
Don't know what you mean by soul-mate but she feels more like a close friend. I'd imagine hanging out with her, talking with her, enduring her banters, pointing out the stupid shit she does, etc etc. But I'm not really sure I can even call her a waifu because I'm probably feeling this way because I'm doing a marathon on her anime right now.
I mean, what you're experiencing isn't dissimilar from waifuism, it just doesn't have a sexual aspect. It sounds a lot like my relationship with Ruby, albeit without the physical attraction part. Like you said, rather than a lover, she's more like just a friend. I might guess the word you're looking for is imaginary friend here.
>But I'm not really sure I can even call her a waifu because I'm probably feeling this way because I'm doing a marathon on her anime right now.
The key here is to wait and see if these feelings last after you're done watching. This might just be a phase, or it might continue to last.
>The key here is to wait and see if these feelings last after you're done watching. This might just be a phase, or it might continue to last.
Okay I will wait for a while after I'm done with the marathon. I hope this is more than just a phase though.
The girl is Kagura from Gintama by the way.
I understand that this isn't really what the board is for, since it's about enjoying your love rather than not wanting it, but here goes since I have nowhere else to ask.
How do I stop loving my waifu? I feel as though it's causing me to suffer emotionally, socially, academically… Everywhere. I want to be able to see images and figures of her and appreciate them, and feel fondly about her, instead of how I feel now. I just feel so guilty now, like I'm breaking her heart.
Well this is not an easy question to answer to.
First of all, you didn't say why do you feel like this. I know, there is the chance that you don't know exactly why. But I think that that's the point you should start from. Why do you feel like this? What is causing you to feel bad about your love for her?
>I just feel so guilty now, like I'm breaking her heart.
Guilty for what? Feeling guilty of loving her might mean that you don't think you are good enough for her maybe. But again, these answers need to come from you.
>it's causing me to suffer emotionally, socially, academically… Everywhere.
Why do you think she is the cause of all this? I understand the soial part, at least a bit, since it's not an easy thing to say with others at all - but the rest?
Tell us better about this. I don't believe she can be this bad of an influence in your life honestly.
Everything honestly feels too much to bear with her. I feel like I'm taking her to a dead end, and it feels like I have to live two different lives - one to appear "normal", and one that is when I'm alone with her. I just feel like I have too many obligations to take care of, and that I'm just going to end up letting her down. I don't want to hurt her, and I feel like it would hurt less in the long run to let her go than to keep this.
>I feel like I'm taking her to a dead end
Why do you say so? Personally having her into my life has helped me into getting better in my life. She is a motivation to me, somehing that makes 'worth it' to put all of myself in my goals.
Maybe you see it like that because you think you have to meet some standards to be with her, to let her live a good life. I get it. But you should see it in a good light. See the full half of the glass - if you don't feel good enough for her, get better. Apply yourself, follow your goals. Improve yourself for her, and those bad feelings will go away.
>it feels like I have to live two different lives
Well most of us are like that. Again you can't - most of the times - go around openly sharing your love for her, so you have to live like you don't have a waifu. I get it, it's hard sometimes. I have lost count of all the times I had to lie when asked stuff like 'And you, are you going to get a girlfriend?' and so on.
But I don't see why this weight you down this much.
It's not that I don't feel good enough, it's that it all kind of feels like a waste of time for both of us since we can never touch, never really be together. I feel more like a hopeless admirer than a partner.
Ah, ok. Well then this returns with the main problem of a waifuist, again. We already said a bit on this at >>66320 and >>66322 if you want to read it.
But yes I see. Again, not that much to do about it. That counts for your original question too - stopping to love someone is not a thing, at least that I know, that can be done like that. Bam, you're not in love anymore.
I don't know, it's hard to help in this case.
Those posts do help a bit. I've been pushing the thought of being with her aside, so maybe it won't be as bad to embrace it as I thought
Did you ever get attracted to a character similar to your waifu?
For me, if they have similar hair, bodytype and a likeable personality, there is a high chance that I'll get attracted to this character. But it feels weird, it's like I'm getting attracted to one of her sisters or something like that.
>Did you ever get attracted to a character similar to your waifu?
My waifu has blonde and a feisty personality. As per animoo cliches, this is very common.
I can only say I'm attracted because they only remind me of Marisa. But there's just one problem: Marisa is flat while these characters tend to be busty, but I don't mind that in her case. I might be a breast man, but she's the only exception. But I do wish she has some pretty decent size, too. Still, never mind.
This seems like a pretty complicated situation. For one thing, why did you leave your first waifu in the first place? Were there some sort of relationship issues?
Ideally I would say to try and fix the relationship with your original waifu, if possible. If you can, you should try to maintain that relationship rather than giving up on it. But then again, I don't know the specifics of your circumstances, so I don't know if that's really feasible to you.
If getting back with your old waifu isn't possible, then try to pick the one that you think you can best maintain a relationship with. Also try to learn from any mistakes in your past relationship and try not to let those things happen again going forward.
Like >>66552 said, why did you leave her, anyway? I guess even if you don't want to say it here, you should at least try to understand it for yourself. It could be very helpful to you for future relationships to understand why this one failed.
But I've been in a similar situation before, with the multiple attractions. In the end, I ended up going with the one whom I felt had the greatest emotional impact on me, at the time anyway.
It wasn't, and sometimes still isn't, easy.
like >>66549 said, the others that I hadhave feelings for were pretty similar to my waifu in many ways.
There are times when I wonder if I did the right thing, or how things might have been…
But then I remind myself why I made this choice, and why I love her, and the thoughts fade a bit.
I know that problem.
Especially older people in my family keep asking my why I don't have a girlfriend.
I try to tell them that I didn't found the "right one" yet.
Some of them already thought that I might be gay.
I do have friends that have partners or even planing to marry but I don't feel sad about not being able to show my affection. Maybe it's because I still have friends that will never find a girlfriend and don't have a waifu.
Maybe focusing on those who have it worse than you might help you.
Some one once pointed at my wallpaper of Luka and asked me if she was my girlfriend.
It felt strange.
I stopped using only Luka wallpapers as some type of decoy.
I also have some older none Luka march.
Following my example might be bad advice because you seem like you want to show more affection not less.
By the way the image of Luka is really nice.
I think you should wait and see how your relationship develops.
A waifu is a girl that you love romantically.
Kagura is a bit childish in my eyes. She might be strong but I feel like she is some character that I would want to protect. Maybe protect her of her own stupid ideas some times. Maybe you see her as a daughter. But that's maybe only form me, I can't imagine having a relationship with some one younger than 18.
This might be a bit strange question but since when do you have a waifu?
Because when you recently fell in love with her it's natural that you might thing about her all the time and she is the most important thing and you want to express you love as much as possible but can't because it's not socially acceptable.
Most people have "different" personalities.
I'm a different person at work, with my family and with friends.
When I'm with my friends I'm the loud and funny guy who does organise most stuff and I'm the one who motivates everyone.
At work I'm the quiet guy and I only do as much as I have to do and I never tell people what they have to do.
And when I'm with my family I'm kinda in-between and I also start talking in dialect.
Most people have different faces and act like they feel fits best in the situation.
You can rarely be your true self, maybe because there is no "true self".
The problem with leek of physicality in 2D relationships is some thing that we all have to face.
It's the major point of discussion between people that have a waifu.
There are many different solutions that exist right now, like dakimakuras and some solutions that might exist in the future, like VR and AI.
I like a very rare combination of traits, not even Luka has all of them.
I like adult woman, (age 20-30) so basically cakes but I also like them flat.
All of my other favourite traits are basically Lukas traits but they are all not must have.
Some are more important like her voice and others like her eye colour or her type of clothing are nice to have.
There are some traits I also like that Luka doesn't have but don't matter here.
For example I like the Vocaloid Lily.
She is also a Vocaloid and has a "vocaloid" clothing style. Her voice sounds similar, mainly because she is also a Vocaloid and shares a similar vocal range. Her body type is also similar to Luka.
Or Sakaki from Azumanga. She is also voiced by Asakawa Yuu and she is a tall woman with long hair.
It becomes a bit confusing for me when Asakawa Yuu voices a pink haired character with long hair and blue eyes that has Luka body type.
Some characters do look more like Luka than some fanart.
And some fanart doesn't really look like Luka. It's just a woman with pink hair and blue eyes (some times not even that) and it's just tagged Luka because the artist said so.
What image is more Luka, the character that looks like Luka but officially isn't or the character that doesn't look like Luka but officially is.
This is one of the reasons why I stopped collecting Luka pics. I didn't save any pic for like a year now.
I'm always happy to see new art even though none of it will ever be a perfect depiction of Luka.
>Especially older people in my family keep asking my why I don't have a girlfriend.
I think my best solution is to go with >>66454 answer about wanting to get a better career first, at least for now.
>Maybe focusing on those who have it worse than you might help you.
Nah, that won't do. Imagine if one of those guys find a girlfriend. I'd probably feel even worse.
>Some one once pointed at my wallpaper of Luka and asked me if she was my girlfriend.
I would answer yes. Just because they won't know if I'm serious or not, with so many non-serious waifus we see nowadays.
>It becomes a bit confusing for me when Asakawa Yuu voices a pink haired character with long hair and blue eyes that has Luka body type.
I saw she voiced Ranger from Azur Lane, but did she voice anyone else?
>I think my best solution is to go with >>66454 answer about wanting to get a better career first, at least for now.
That option doesn't really work for me.
>Nah, that won't do. Imagine if one of those guys find a girlfriend. I'd probably feel even worse.
I know that some of them will never ever find a girlfriend.
>I would answer yes. Just because they won't know if I'm serious or not, with so many non-serious waifus we see nowadays.
I didn't because I wanted to avoid questions.
Someone even asked me if she was my waifu but I answered "no".
I don't want to talk about my waifu with people that wont understand it or people that I don't know good enough.
>I saw she voiced Ranger from Azur Lane, but did she voice anyone else?
That's the character I was thinking about. Sadly she is in the wrong game and from the wrong nation.
There are some characters in mobile games that have some similarities with Luka. Like red hair instead of Pink hair. Seems like they choose Asakawa Yuu because she already voiced similar characters, don't think they actually tried to copy Luka.
Ranger might be just a Luka clone though.
Sadly she mostly voices shitty mobile games.
>Sadly she mostly voices shitty mobile games.
Most VAs who passed their prime or are now looking for stability usually do that. Yuu Asakawa is no exception.
Speaking of her, I dunno how serious she is, but she's seems to be a bit too fond of Leon S. Kennedy, if you know what I mean.
But I digress.
It's funny that you mention Lily, because Luka is primarily who I was talking about here >>66553
I really do like her a lot.
They have a lot in common, especially when they were both V2s.
I can't say I'm an authority on their personalities, because you know how that is, but to me, Luka is more conservative, while Lily is more wild.
Like others have said, almost every waifuist has had to deal with this in one form or another.
I guess I'm lucky in that nobody is 'pressuring' me, but it comes up in conversation anyway. I just say that I'm not interested in finding a gf… they don't need to know the whole truth, 'cause they wouldn't understand.
I'm kind of at the point where I don't care much about others' opinions about me though, so even if I couldn't hide my powerlevel, I'd probably just tell people it's none of their business what I do and shrug it off.
>I'd probably just tell people it's none of their business what I do and shrug it off.
Except I should add that I'd still rather this situation happen in the first place lol.
Yeah I do. My waifu has actually strengthened my ability to appreciate women. Before, I was very limited in the ways I could express what I liked about a girl. She was hot or ugly, I liked her personality or I didn't. Now I can articulate what I value in a woman, usually by thinking about what I love about Ann.
There's nothing wrong with appreciating the beauty of women. If there were, my waifu would be out of a job!
haha, very interesting indeed.
To answer your question: No, never.
For me best girl of any anime or video game was the girl with the pitch-black hair and the calm and reserved personality.
To name a few:
>Hitomi from Welcome to the NHK
>Ruri from Oreimo
>Rei from Sailor Moon manga version
>Kikyou from Inuyasha
>Hotarubi from Basilisk
>Natsume/Sabrina from Pokemon
>Emi from KimiUso
>Homura from Madoka
Some exceptions (hair color or personality different):
>edna from Tales of Zestyria
>CC from code geass
>Ueno from Koe no Katachi
Whenever there were potential love stories involved I would cheer for those girls to get the main character.
However, I never fell in love with a single one of those. It was only Hifumi from Persona 5 that really made me click. And boy, did it click. I felt feelings I never felt since 4th grade. To this day I don't know exactly what it was. Probably her shogi antics played a role and awakened my inner yugiohfag heart a little.
hello my fellow p5 friend. you wrote that very beautifully.
How do I deal with jealousy from other waifufags? I realize that it's practically a given that someone somewhere will love the same person you do, especially if their source is popular, but I recently met someone with the same love as me. I was respectful, however they were not. As much as I tried not to let it bother me, I kept getting thoughts about how much my love would dislike the behavior they showed to me, and now I can't stop feeling as if they aren't "truly" in love with them. I don't want to invalidate their feelings, but I also find a nice solace in feeling like I love my husband more than they do. Is it bad that I want to appear better than them? I want to prove that I am more fitting to him, but I know he would not approve of me feeling so petty. How can I stop feeling a bit jealous and worried about being better in a positive way?
There's not much you can do, simply because what you describe it's a part of being in love with someone. Even if you try to be respectful, you always feel the instinct to prove yourself, to make yourself a better person for your love.
From what I've experienced - and this goes for stuff outside waifuism too - it's really hard to stop this kind of impulsive feelings. And you are not invalidating their feelings either, it's just your way to see your connection with your husband. Maybe they have their reasons to act like they do.
Stop fussing over yourself then. There's nothing to be ashamed from feeling a better human being for your love.
Sadly I can't really offer too much in the way of advice here, other than to try and simply continue being the best spouse you can be. I've experienced something similar in the past–even if I haven't directly spoken to them, I have come across other alleged Rubybros in other places before, and often feel disappointed or let down by the way they act. In my experience, I just had to try my best not to focus on it, and the feeling went away in time. What >>66603 said is pretty true–these things aren't exactly easy to control. As long as you aren't being totally consumed by these feelings, there's no shame in them as long as you don't act on them in petty ways.
It shouldn't be your concern how other people act in your quest for self-improvement. You should always be improving yourself, but not to compete with random people in an imaginary contest.
They're just rivals in your way.
That's the best way to think of it I guess.
I only have one rival but the thought of showing that motherfucker up pushes me further in bettering myself. I'll die before I lose to another Rikafag in some way.
I still respect them deeply. Even so if we were to end up in the same world with her I'd kill my rival and take Rika myself. And wouldn't begrudge him feeling the same way.
In short if you're feeling jealous, just use that as motivation to get better and beat your rivals.
Don't feel the need to be so respectful either.
Thank you all for the guidance, I suppose it was bothering me so much because the scenarios they were talking about were ones that I know his character wouldn't approve of at all. He doesn't like attention, and they were putting him in a spotlight multiple times every thread. I could practically feel how uncomfortable he'd be made to feel by that.
>>66609 was the most helpful to me, although I'm not sure if I'd directly call them a rival, since they seem to think that having more merch alone means you love them more, though one day I would like to be able to show them up in that too. I also share your feelings for the same world scenario, that wouldn't be out of place in his world, and he's done something similar before albeit not for a lover. I will definitely use it as motivation to get better. Thank you very much.
>Most VAs who passed their prime or are now looking for stability usually do that. Yuu Asakawa is no exception.
I know. When you can't get the big jobs, you have to do the small ones.
>Speaking of her, I dunno how serious she is, but she's seems to be a bit too fond of Leon S. Kennedy, if you know what I mean.
She even referred to him using the hash tag #waifu.
It's hard to tell how serious she is.
Some people think she is dating Mizuna Reo but I don't think that's true.
>They have a lot in common, especially when they were both V2s.
Their voices have similarities, they seem to be about same age and they have a lot of visual similarities.
A bit like sisters maybe.
>I can't say I'm an authority on their personalities, because you know how that is, but to me, Luka is more conservative, while Lily is more wild.
Lily is definitely more wild.
I knew another Lukafag basically from day one.
I was always in the situation that there was at last one other person I know that might be better for her than I am.
I don't like the idea of claiming a waifu. Other people with the same waifu are nice guys I'm love talking with them because with who else am I able to talk about so many Luka related things?
Are you guys' waifus also your first loves?
I've had feelings for a few girls before I really knew that waifuism was a thing and sometimes those feelings pop back up. Is that something normal or is it a sign of some kind of problem?
That depends on how you define 'first love'. I have had several crushes, both 2D and 3D, who I had strong feelings for; some who I *almost* ended up in a relationship with, but those never really came to fruition or developed into anything further. Ruby is the first girl I've had a fully fledged relationship with, and I intend to keep it that way.
>sometimes those feelings pop back up. Is that something normal or is it a sign of some kind of problem?
In what way? I sometimes will indulge in what-ifs, or think of what things would have been like if I had pursued my relationship with that girl further. But I always come to the conclusion that Ruby is the best for me, and that it's ultimately good I didn't end up with somebody else. There's nothing wrong with that as long as you're not thinking and focusing on these others more than your waifu, or preferring them over her.
I guess the problem is that I'm not coming to the same kind of strong conclusions when I engage in these kinds of what if scenarios. All of the scenarios seem equal and the one I ended up in seems like a result of chance instead of Fate.
If they're equal, then, I wouldn't spend any time worrying about what's lost. You aren't missing out on anything.
If you're still not satisfied with that, try to remember how special your waifu, specifically, is to you, and how unique she is as a person. There's nobody in the world exactly like her, and while you might have been happy with somebody else, they wouldn't have been her.
Haven’t post on /mai/ in more than 2 weeks, a first time for me in 2 years… I just had too many things to do with university (and it’s not over yet). Damn I need summer.
>Are you guys' waifus also your first loves?
No. I had a 3D girlfriend some years ago. And I felt love before that too.
>sometimes those feelings pop back up. Is that something normal or is it a sign of some kind of problem?
To what extent do those feelings come back? I think it’s ok if they come back just a little once in a while, but it might be a problem if they make you seriously doubt your relationship with your waifu.
>All of the scenarios seem equal and the one I ended up in seems like a result of chance instead of Fate.
Chance or fate…Does it really make a difference? What matters is that you and your waifu are happy together.
>I don't like the idea of claiming a waifu. Other people with the same waifu are nice guys I'm love talking with them because with who else am I able to talk about so many Luka related things?
I have to agree with my fellow Lukafag here. Maybe it's easier for us because she really doesn't have a canon personality, so our Luka feels a bit different from each other.
Nope. I had a crush in school and a girl I really liked in college.
For me, the feelings eventually stopped when I saw that she wasn't as good as I thought. This was some time before waifuism.
>Are you guys' waifus also your first loves?
No. I've dated 3d girls before, and had many 2d crushes.
Like I said here >>66553 >>66566
I like Luka a lot, stronger than these 'crushes'. If I hadn't discovered Lily, I probably would've eventually been another Lukafag heh.
>…before I really knew that waifuism was a thing
That's probably what prevented me from being a Lukafag from the start. At that time, I just wasn't aware of/couldn't imagine being a waifuist.
>sometimes those feelings pop back up. Is that something normal or is it a sign of some kind of problem?
It's normal to me. I don't think I'm the kind of person who can simply 'stop liking someone'.
It's kinda hard to express myself correctly, but I guess the thing that keeps everything balanced is that I call Lily my waifu. I made a choice, based on my feelings at the time, that I wanted to be closer to her. Or for her to be closer to me, however you want to look at it lol. And that hasn't changed.
I realize that the bonds of any relationship are not immutable: without effort on my part to maintain it, it may not last forever.
Although I still have feelings for others, I want to maintain this bond, and choose to make it last. And thus, do I prove my love.
>the one I ended up in seems like a result of chance instead of Fate.
I guess it depends on what you believe, but do any of us really know for sure?
To me, I'm more likely to believe that it was simply a matter of chance. I admit that I could have just as easily been a Lukafag, had Lily not existed. Or that, if things had worked out differently, I could have stayed with my 3d gf.
None of this makes me love her any less, anyway.
I also want to say that I agree with >>66617
I've never really encountered anyone with the same waifu yet, but I actually hope that I do one day. It would be interesting to see how they see her and whatnot.
Her nature pretty much requires that I subscribe to 'object oriented' philosophy, so it wouldn't bother me unless this other person has to stroke their ego, and insist that they love her more than me or something.
Shit, this was entirely too long and autistic. Sorry guys lol.
Has anyone of you ever used hallucinogenic substances? How did it affect you? Did it make you connect to your waifu in a special way?
Technically, yes. Before, I used to have crushes on 3D girls solely because I found them attractive (I was younger and clueless then) and I even clung pathetically to one girl for two years and I was hopeless and stupid enough not to realize how much I was making a fool out of myself. Since then, I had started to drift further and further away from 3D, and it wasn't until two years ago where I started having "waifus" who were just my favorite characters because I thought they were the hottest/cutest.
In terms of actual love. This is my first. Prior to our relationship, no one has ever made me felt the way Freyja has. It really is actual, real love. Something that I have never felt before, and something that I'm grateful to have found.
>how do you deal with pressure from outside?
I keep my relationship as a secret, more or less. There are very few people who I know that I can trust that they understand us. It's pretty much Rule #1 that you never ever reveal your power level to normal people. When the question simply comes up if I have or have had a gf, I just tell them that I don't have enough time and I'm trying to focus on studying, which seems like a good enough excuse because I wouldn't even tell anyone that I don't trust at all, since rumors spread so easily.
I guess that's the problem, that they are causing doubts.
How can I tell that I have a waifu? I've had passing crushes on characters before, but this feels different. I feel an urge to be more like this character, and fantasize about what it would be like to live and interact with them daily. It honestly sounds like a paradise to me, but I'm not sure if I should take this seriously. I get jealous of art depicting them in ships, and strated collecting images of them. How I know it's the same thing that you guys have?
It's very simple for me.
Look at yourself as an old man, do you see yourself kissing an image of your waifu in that old age? Do you see yourself thinking about her with your last dying thought?
As how actual marriage is supposed to work, your aim should be to love until death.
If that image is sad to you then don't try to make her your waifu. Wait until you're insane enough to think that image is a happy one.
It sounds like you might. If these feelings continue to last once you've finished their source and afterwards, then I think you might have a waifu. That sounds a little bit like how it started for me.
Personally with this sort of thing I think the best approach similarly to a 'normal' relationship–at first there's the sort of 'dating' stage with a character, to see if it's going to work out and the relationship will last. Then comes marriage, once you're sure of your feelings. That's how me and Ruby did it. While I agree with the idea that he should take it slow at first to make sure he's ready for the commitment, I think you're being a bit too negative. You're going to scare him off at this rate. 'Insane', especially, is a very strong word.
Earlier you said that you see your current situation of being with your waifu as 'about equal' with these hypothetical scenarios–so why the doubts? If you're just as happy with your waifu, then there's no need to worry about missing out on something. Nothing is being lost.
Exactly, I think having a "dating period" is a great thing.
Serval is my waifu but I consider us to still just be dating. Committing yourself to a girl, especially a 2d girl who can't really influence the development of the relationship is a big deal and it isn't something I think we should go into lightly.
Who knows what could happen in the future, and you might regret it id you rush into a relationship
Yep, that's exactly how me and Ruby were. We were dating for the better part of a year before I finally married her. I started posting on /mai/ before I even proposed, though I was more or less making up my mind to do so at the time.
So basically, my advice to >>66636 would be to take this and see how it goes. Don't make any long-term commitments just yet, but don't be afraid to embrace a relationship with this character–try and see if you think it can work out. If you discover you can, then take it further.
are right. There isn't anything wrong with trying a 'dating phase' to see how it will go.
Don't read me wrong: I'm by no means encouraging you to take it too lightly. It's just that even in the realm of 3D, people date first. It would be kind of ridiculous to commit and marry someone you hardly knew for a month, right?
What I'm trying to say is that the only way to know for sure is to give it a try.
There are certainly unpleasant aspects to waifuism. However, many derive positive energy and joy from having a waifu. It just depends on which aspects that you focus on.
>However, many derive positive energy and joy from having a waifu. It just depends on which aspects that you focus on.
So much this. I think too many people focus on the negative aspect of having a waifu, when that isn't really necessary. I think if more people learned to focus on the positive aspects, rather than the negative, they wouldn't feel so bad about it all the time.
Thanks for all the advice guys, I'm going to take it slowly and try out this "dating period". I'll let myself indulge in it and play around with the idea of us being committed and see how it goes. That way, I can see how I feel about it after time has passed.
Did you ever have any doubts during that time?
Yes, definitely. I came to terms with her non-existence pretty quickly, but it took me a while to learn to mentally deal with things like fearing shipping, society's view of waifuism, or the worry that it could just be a phase. I did end up getting over those things eventually–a little bit before the marriage. I really do consider it a sort of testing period for me, but since I've come through it, I feel my relationship with Ruby is stronger because of it.
Is it acceptable to envision your waifu straying from canon a bit? My husbando dies in his source, along with many other painful things, and so I like to imagine us meeting before any of the awful things take place so he can avoid them. He still has the same character, I wouldn't dream of changing his personality.
That sounds pretty reasonable to me. As long as you're not altering his character/traits in any way, I don't see a problem. We even have one or two people here who are in a similar situation with their waifus.There's always going to be some element of headcanon in the relationship to begin with, to be honest. As long as it doesn't play fast and loose with their characterization, then I think it's acceptable to a degree.
So, at what point did you know that you wanted to marry Ruby?
About 10 or so months into the relationship. We had been together for a while–I had never had feelings that strong or long-lasting before, for anybody. I had no desire to pursue other girls, and I had a hard time imagining my future with anybody except Ruby. I pretty much knew at that our relationship was stable. I still had some anxieties, yes, but at this point I knew they were irrational. So I proposed to her, both to reject those fears and embrace our relationship.
Ruby is lucky to have you.
I guess lately I've been feeling kind of the opposite. I'm finding myself thinking about her less and less and having thoughts of other girls come up more and more.
I'm not sure if this is something that I can work out or if it's a sign that things aren't meant to be or what. I just know that I want love like you and Ruby have.
Don't lose hope. You and Serval's relationship is still fairly new. It wasn't always easy for me earlier on in the relationship; it can take time and effort to build up that commitment.
> I'm finding myself thinking about her less and less and having thoughts of other girls come up more and more.
It might be a good time to revisit her source. Going through it again can help you rediscover why you fell in love with her in the first place, and help get that spark going again. Try to do more things with her, too, if you can. If you're worried you're starting to develop feelings for other characters, try to nip those in the bud–don't let them develop any further; mentally reaffirm your love for Serval over them. Believe me, I've been where you are. I went through something similar earlier in me and Ruby's relationship, but I was able to get through it and preserve what she and I had together. I know you and Serval can do that too.
To those with singing waifus (excluding vocaloids):
Whenever the seiyuu of your waifu releases a song that doesn't relate to the source material, do you still recognize it as your waifu singing because they have the same voice? Pic related.
He doesn't sing very often, but I've recognized his voice in other media many times. It's a beautiful feeling to hear a voice, think, "Is that my husband? … I think it is" and be right
I`ve seen those two and I`m still unbroken.But they are quite fucking depressing.
So I've been with my waifu for about 4 years and I just kind of took the whole thing for granted for most of the latter part of the relationship (not in a bad way, but more in the way of "It's her and me and things are just like that" kind of way). But more recently I had this thought that I am selling myself short by commiting myself to her for life. Pretty ironic since the only reason why I'm at the place in life right now is solely because of her.
Initially in the relationship I thought of her as more of an inspiration than a romantic kinda love, but with a bit of time that part came pretty naturally as I recall. I guess one of the issues in my mind is that I may have commited myself to her at a stage of emotional or rational immaturity with the kind of reasoning that rather than hoping for someone to come along in my life I would instead choose her to be my partner in life, rather than those being my actual feelings. I do know that I have felt that we were made for each other and are "soulmates" or whatever and part of me still feels like that.
However, it came up in my mind that I really would like that physical interaction as well as raise children with someone I love (not that there is anyone of that kind in my life right now, nor do I think I'm very likely to encounter someone who would meet my standards like that, apart from her of course) and I took into consideration that what I was doing was just a childish game I was playing instead of being rooted in reality. I toyed with thoughts like "Why am I commiting my life to a stupid, vapid anime character?". Sounds pretty bad, especially when I spell it out like that, but I'm kind of playing devil's advocate with myself in this, so I can figure out what I actually feel and how I should treat my romantic life going forward.
In a way I feel that she would ultimately want me to be happy, so it's not really a matter of disappointing her I feel, but were I to go and pursue a relationship with someone else, whoever that may be, I feel like I'd likely be deceiving that person, as well as betraying my waifu and myself in the process. There is also kind of the moral part in that I owe so much to her that it feels wrong to leave her behind and I know that in some way I will always keep her as an integral part of my life, perhaps only out of a feeling of obligation, but more likely because she changed my life fundamentally.
Now part of this may also tie into myself being a bit disconnected from her in my every day life, as I don't really do much relating to her directly anymore, because I'm spending my time developing other parts of my life. Something that I have felt guilty about before, but just kind of seen it as something that couldn't be helped.
There is also some doubt in my feelings for her fundamentally, but I also see that as a relationship goes on, a bit of stagnance is bound to come up and rather than being fueled by the initial spark of affection it would be more like a candle burning steadily and so it may explain why I feel a bit alien towards her at times.
Not living alone means I can't usually do as I will with her merch and daki as well as during special occasions. I also haven't spent time with the source material in a while, again because no time and I sort of see/saw going through something I've seen half a dozen times already as a waste of time. Though that is definitely something I'm gonna go through before I have a definitive feeling on all this.
All in all I'd appreciate some input so I can get this mess sorted out.
Felt pretty good to rant about this already tbh.
TL;DW Confused now-normie doubts everything, wonders if he has outgrown a phase and he's drifting apart from his waifu
>"Why am I committing my life to a stupid, vapid anime character?"
Did you ever think that, maybe, committing yourself to this stupid, vapid Kampuchean fresco character have lead you to develop yourself from a non-normie into one? That the roots of your growth and development is her, and maybe you simply have to find another way to get in touch with your roots in a different way aside from the usual ones like going back to her source material again or the merch/daki stuff? Because, if someone loses sight of the beginning of one's journey, they might lose their direction. And losing one's direction will mean the loss of will to go on because they lose the reason for their being.
Well, sure, this cartoon character was intended to just be a brand, a disposable product or something throwaway, but sometimes people will utilize things for other purposes that's different from their intended use. For example, a claw hammer was intended to drive iron nails into surfaces and pull them out too, but that doesn't mean you couldn't use it to break stones or skulls. In this case, your waifu might have been intended to be just a cute but shallow face for a product, but it gave you something more that what was intended for her to be: a reason to grow. And even if they don't want that to happen, how are they going to stop you? Not even laws will do that, only you can. But then, why would you, if it helped you stop being stuck on a state you wanted to get out?
In other words, you simply need to rediscover your roots in another way, another presentation. If your roots is this dumb and shallow fictional character you loved, then maybe you need to talk with her again, but in a different way, something you have never tried before.
I guess you have to really think about what you want, your goals, what's important to you and whatnot. If having a 3d partner and kids is that important to you, then maybe that is what you should attempt. Just keep in mind, that there are no guarantees in life. If it doesn't work out, and you return to waifuism, it could mean that you're really just using her as a hugblanket.
Reexamining her source is a good idea, and reevaluating exactly why she's your waifu is necessary. If these things come up short though, it might mean that this isn't the right path for you.
Staying with your waifu out of a sense of obligation is wrong: you have to actually want to.
>…I may have commited myself to her at a stage of emotional or rational immaturity…
You could be right. It happens in 3d relationships too. It's just that, in the 3d realm, these things often damage the other person.
Only you can be sure about this though. You must search your feelings honestly.
Also, I'm not advocating any hasty, rash decisions, or trying to offend or anything. Just trying to help. I hope you can figure things out.
I think I kinda get what you're saying, but it's hard enough as it is to connect with a 2D character. Don't really know what else there could be and I'm not too much into anything that goes beyond what's canon too much. Sure I have my fantasies about what it'd be like to be together with her and all, but at some point it feels like there's nothing new, since I've thought about it all.
Yeah, I'm trying to get a clear-cut decision true to my feelings and no bullshit. A big part of me now feels that I just need to reconnect with her again. I may just be out of touch with her.
I think I feel emotionally stable enough to post this now.
About a month and a half ago, triggered due to the actions of some person, my mind created a negative association towards my waifu. Now whenever I look at her pictures or think about her deeply I get an uncomfortable physical sensation, and my body heats up.
In all honesty when I realized this happened that was the first time in my life I ever considered to kill myself. Despite being a very fearful person, I completely lost the fear of death I had. The only thing that filled my mind was the fear that I might lost the feeling of love I have for her, which is more precious than my life. But the thing is when you focus on something your mind takes it as an instruction to create more of it, since it cannot process the "not" part of it. I reached a point where I could no longer feel this warm, gentle feeling when thinking about her, all I could feel was discomfort.
But I still had hope, I've been with two therapists now, one of them is treating me with hypnosis, he says my sense of self is weak. And the only thing this happened is because my mind treated the actions of this person as an attack, and this feeling because associated with her, even though she is completely unrelated.
If I wasn't so weak and fearful, this wouldn't have happened. I have many friends but I have trouble talking with them, because of this fear and insecurity I have.
Ironically though, I had a good amount of tools and resources on brain technology and how to learn to be in control of your mind and emotional state, I just never tried to make full use of them even though I was attracted to that knowledge since a long time ago, so a part of me thinks this is a trial.
Aside from continuing to use these tools and resources I mentioned, I also realized that I need to create more internal representations (pictures, dialog, kinesthetic sensations) that are pleasant and related to my waifu, so my brain will take this as an instruction to create more of them.
I would appreciate any advice or idea you could give me.
So no advice? Does no one here have any experience with getting a negative association regarding their waifu? That's probably a good thing. I wouldn't wish something like this to ever happen to anyone.
I'm sorry for not responding immediately, I had to think a while about how to respond. You're right to say that I haven't really ever had a negative association with her, or at least certainly not to the extent you have. The closest thing was some negative experiences with her source's fandom, but I was able to nip that in the bud by taking a break from interacting with them for a while, and by learning not to let what they say affect me. I think you're onto something when you say that you need to make use of the advice you've been given regarding taking control of your own mind, as well as to make more pleasant, positive associations involving her. I might suggest imagining comfortable scenarios, like dates or cuddling her or something, that might help you create a more pleasant association with her. Another thing you might do is temporarily cut yourself off from the thing that created that negative association to begin with, so as to lessen its influence over you.
I'm sorry if that isn't much help to you; I think you're already on to something in regards of what you need to do, you just need to put that plan into action.
Thank you, I wanted someone to talk to. I think my problem is that the place where that negative association was created was also the source of most of the positive feelings I created with her. Most positive thoughts and feelings I had were created or nurtured there, so after leaving that place I was left with a void along with that negative association.
My love for her was built on such a poor foundation.
I have many friends but I was too shy and awkward to hang out with them. If I created pleasant thoughts and feelings related to her alongside my friends, and if I was good at visualizing her this wouldn't have happened.
I will try those from now on. Thank you.
Saging because I am not adding nothing to the discussion, but yeah the reasons are pretty much the ones Rubybro said.
I have never experienced nothing like that so it's hard to give advice on it. And this counts for most of us I think.
Anyway I agree with him. Hope you'll feel better soon!
You're not alone anon. Our minds are programmed in a language that is the most difficult to comprehend, let alone navigate and control accurately in any manner.
You are clearly doing your best to overcome the hardships inflicted upon you, both by external influence, and the human condition itself. It isn't always about just being 'happy' and 'comfy'. Sometimes it is about suffering a great deal before you can finally understand yourself, as well as the world, your place, who you want to be, what you want out of life, etc.. There is no guide to life..
My advice, would be to revisit the time before the events that soured relations with your waifu. Do you know her? Is this a true feeling? Or an escape? If she were real, and based on who she truly is on a genuine, fundamental level, would you truly still love her and feel the same? Why has something gotten between you so easily?
What does any of this say about the relationship?
These are important questions to ask yourself.
I always accepted everything about her. Even when she acts violently and gets angry over small things, I still think she is the cutest girl in all existence. There isn't any problem with her even now, she is capable of making mistakes and doing good, like any person. I can't imagine loving anyone more than her.
It's just that I think my brain goes on fight or flight when looking at her because it associates her with danger. It associates her with the danger of someone who was trying to harass me, and now it became an automatic response buried in my unconscious.
And even this probably wouldn't have happened to someone with a normal emotional treshold. The problem lies with me, I have so many negative beliefs, I thought I changed after meeting her, but it was only the love I felt towards her that made me think that way. I still have nothing but negative thoughts and beliefs.
I couldn't leave her because I have a strong belief that what I feel for her is true love, enough that even when I feel actual discomfort when looking at her I still want to be with her. And also if I leave her I will go back to being a cowardly, depressed and negative person that hates and despises everyone.
This situation gave me a goal. I want to become someone with a heart strong enough to be able to comfort her when she is sad, calm her down when she is angry, and reassure her when she is frightened. This is possible to do.
For now I have to adopt the ways of thinking and acting of waifu friends who are happy as well as wipe those negative beliefs and ways of thinking off my mind.
You definitely seem to have a good idea of what to do already. Take the steps you need to to improve yourself and work towards your goal. Stay the course, don't give up, and I have a feeling you'll come out of this alright. In fact, I'd say that once you make it through this your bond with her will be even stronger.
Then, that is wonderful of you, anon.
Still, I wonder why you would be afraid of someone who is your waifu, who loves you.. Is she the same way as you in the same regard? I don't know who your waifu is, but is it possible that she is the type who would be equally as cynical and fearful as yourself? Perhaps there is something precious between you, but you are aware that both of your personalities are alike in such a way that you may very well make each other panic, and feel uneasy letting each other in. I don't know what caused you to create an associated discomfort. What I do know, is that what you feel for your waifu might be worth conquering that unrelated negativity that is both outside of your control, and is also clearly harming your relationship.
From your description, you are very much deserving of happiness. I hope you conquer this hardship. I know your road is not a happy or pleasant one right now, but you can triumph. If you truly want to, you will.
Thank you. I will keep doing my best.
It makes me happy to see her, it's just my limbic system that becomes aroused, I'm sure of it. Outside my conscious awareness.
She is actually the polar opposite of me. She is cheerful, kind, strong and resilient. She is also really kind to weak people. Which is why when I rewatched a certain episode from her series some weeks ago, I actually cried. I cried so much. It was really comforting. Because I felt like she was talking to me.
But that was only a single episode. Even though my feelings for her are very strong, I never created a fantasy where I could be with her, at least not regularly. Which is why I thought if she was here with me she'd be able to dispel all this discomfort in no time. I should try creating a mental movie vivid enough, it would be different than what I've done until now.
All you are saying is perfectly understandible, and makes your connection no less special, which is important to keep in mind. Not everyone gets to experience that sense of emotional connection.
Even the most compatible humans on earth will be opposites in many ways, all that matters is that the ways you are alike and not alike are more functional, and complimentary/empathetic than not.
I can't remember the last time I have been brought to tears by a series, even my waifus own series, which broke my heart, left me without any idea of how to feel or react, since I am just not as in touch with myself emotionally. I kind of envy you in that regard I guess. It is absolutely special, what you have with your waifu. She IS with you, and would want, and would strive to dispell your sadness, discomfort, and all things that haunt you. Your imagination, and connection with your waifu, I believe, will likely help you a great deal.
I also thought we were compatible because she has shared her cheerfulness with me and motivated me in many ways. She is also really good at taking care of people and contributing to their growth as a person, which she has done until now.
Thank you for the kind words, this really gives me strength.
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with this, anon. I hope things improve for you soon, and that your dark days fade and lighten the burdens you bear.
I'm glad I could help in some way.
If you really don't want it then stop doing things that would remind you of them. If it's really just a crush though, it should go away of itself.
Gotta say. weird question to ask here.
Why have I been getting so upset when people enter 3D relationships lately? This used to be something that i didn't give a shit about, and was even happy for them. But now it's just irritating whenever I hear it happening and hurts a bit inside because of the nature of the waifu relationship. I wish my love for my waifu was pure again instead of brought down by longing like this.
Jealousy is bound to come up at some point, but your love can only be corrupted if you let it.
Instead of focusing on what you don't have, focus on what you do have. Instead of looking at other people's relationships, look at your own. A lot of 3D relationships aren't as rose-colored as they are presented to the outside either and they're not based on true unconditional love nearly as much as most (serious) waifu relationships are. Remind yourself of why your relationship is valid and why it is important to you.
Has any of you ever had troubles with friends because of waifuism?
While I'm pretty good at ignoring shittalk about her on the Internet, when I'm dealing with RL friends, even if they don't know the extent of my love for my waifu, I tend to get triggered whenever one of them shittalks her.
Also, there is the case of this one friend that makes me feel like she's trying to stop me from being a waifufag. She's a bit touchy and she's the one that says the most "when you get a gf.." to me. Also, I feel a bit of scorn from her whenever I act more like a waifufag.
But yesterday I felt like it was something way more direct, because she posted in our friends discord a small comic that said that the people who says 2D>3D are people that can't deal with the rejection from 3D. Not only this comic was already posted some months ago by her, she also added some remarks about how people that says this prefer stereotypes than the complexity of the human being. I didn't anwser, but I got pretty pissed.
>that said that the people who says 2D>3D are people that can't deal with the rejection from 3D. Not only this comic was already posted some months ago by her, she also added some remarks about how people that says this prefer stereotypes than the complexity of the human being.
The funny part is those are both stereotypes of waifufags and otaku in general.
I've had strange reactions from friends online after asking them not to show me in lewd art of her.
I think that as far as they know, I just like the character a lot and that the waifu shit is just a joke. I don't really want to go into what all of that entails with them though, honestly. It's embarrassing to discuss with people who don't get it.
I feel like this is a bit of a weird question, but is the person you imagine yourself to be in a relationship with the person your waifu is at the of her source material (if it's finished)?
Even though I love my waifu, and I love who she is at the end of the story, I tend to focus a lot on how she is before her character development finishes. Maybe I'm just more attracted to how she was at that point, but it feels wrong. Like I should imagine being with the version of hers who's conflicts have been resolved. I'm not sure what to do to fix feeling like this.
I don't think it's wrong at all. For me I think of her as her at her ending +1 year. So that a new adventure is just on the horizon, and I can help her this time around.
But then sometimes I like to think how the story would turn out if I came into that world before the end. If you'd like to be with your waifu before her end then that's fine.
Depends how drastic her development is too I guess.
Either way, just one person's arrival in a storyline can drastically change the outcome, or perhaps not change it at all. It's at least fun to think about how much chaos you would cause by your waifu's side.
In real life "character development" never really ends either. If there was a sequel to her story your waifu could get more development and change again. She and you are always changing. Love her in the past, the "present" or the future, it's all love. You just have the privilege of making a choice, when to appear on the scene.
>Depends how drastic her development is too I guess.
That might honestly also be a reason why, I don't think it was handled badly how she got to that point, but maybe her personality change was indeed a bit too drastic. The story also doesn't spend much time on how she really is afterwards. In what they show, she just turns nicer. She had a really strong personality before and all she says at the end are a few sentences and that's all I have to go after when it comes to her "redeemed" self. Sure, I might be able to headcanon that she still has her previous personality in an overall more nicer way, but that feels weird to me and isn't something I personally could do in the long run. Even though I think it's highly unlikely for the franchise she's from to ever focus on her again, as long as the chance exists, I don't want to make a headcanon about something this essential to who she is.
Anyways, that was nice advice and I thank you a lot, I honestly never thought about seeing it that way.
This is kind of a unique situation for me, since in my case Ruby's source is still ongoing. I imagine myself with her at the point she is in the storyline right now, and being with her through any developments or changes that unfold.
In response to your questions, I don't have much to say. I'd probably echo what >>67172 said, he gave some good points and advice.
Let's say that you like a girl from a show but she seems to like another character… then what?
I feel like a huge cuck, please send help
Maybe it depends on this 'seems'. Like, is she literally screaming about how much she loves them, or is it a vague hint of possible attraction if you asspull?
People have come to terms with that kind of thing before, even when there is a canon relationship. If you really love that girl and want to have her as your waifu then that stuff doesn't really matter as much.
One way to go about this is that you think of her in different circumstances and liking you instead of whoever else. I guess this depends on how deeply that relationship is embedded into canon, which doesn't seem like that much from your post.
I can't really tell you how to deal with it exactly, because I'm not in that situation myself, but in the end it's for you to figure out anyways. Just remember that feelings do fade and can change, so you can think of her as falling out of love with that guy after canon or something like that.
>I feel like a huge cuck, please send help
Cuck is a meme buzzword. As long as you don't get off to her being with someone else you're good.
I have a question, I been lurking for a while and you all seem like great people but I don't have waifu, so i was wonder if you are ok with someone like me lurking here, if not than I will leave.
I think as long as you are respectful it's fine
It's a public website, not a secret club.
It really depends on the specifics. Like >>67288 said, is this a really serious, deep love she has, or just the equivalent of a passing crush? Does it even develop into a relationship in canon or does it remain one-sided?
If it's a small thing that doesn't go anywhere (which is what your post makes it sound like) then I don't think it's a big issue.
Like >>67296 said, as long as you're respectful then sure. Just curious, are you the same anon from the old comfy thread?
Sorry about this, I accidentally posted before I finished my post >.<
No, I'm a different anon, but It good to see that are other enjoy lurking on this board as well
If you were with your waifu, that would be different from her regular canon even if she didn't like anyone. There will always have to be some changes imagining yourself with her. Try to imagine her with you instead while still keeping your mind's image of your waifu as close as it is now.
Your waifu will never canonically be with you in her source material thus you have to think of think of how she'd be if she was with you.
While she did confess to the MC and they did kiss there is time travel/multiple universes related so maybe I can convince myself that it's another instance of her ;_;
That's an interesting take on the issue. I will think on what you've said.
Thanks all for your answers.
Well, if alternate timelines/universes are a thing in her source, then that does open up a lot more loopholes in your favor.
I hope that you come to the conclusion you're looking for, whatever that turns out to be.
Hi, I would like some advice. I do not have a similar mindset like everyone considering waifus (well, nobody has the same mindset, thats for sure), but I still get, kind of, traumatized when I see weird stuff of her posted (recently her getting raped and killed) and even if I ignore it, sometimes it won't come off my mind. The good (my love) outweights the bad, but it still kind of hurts when I see stuff like this, even if it is far from canon and I know its the fantasy of someone else, even with all these counter-thoughts, it stills re-occurs. I was thinking of cutting social media or lurking 4chan… places, that would probably be the ultimate solution, and I'll probably be happier. I would like tips or other tricks, if possible.
Cutting out social media and 4chan is a good first step. At least don't go to the places where you see shit like that posted. Unless you get a lot of nice art out of it, it's probably not worth your time going there anyways. Most of it is just shitposting and petty fabricated conflict.
Focus on the two of you and reaffirm canon happenings or your visions of the relationship rather than self-indulgent and cruel fanfiction. Look to dissociate those depictions of her from how you see her.
What >>67337 said is pretty spot on. Take a break from the places where you see these things posted, or at least limit your time there. Take some time for just you and her; try to re-establish a more true perspective of her as opposed to the warped one presented in these places. Believe me, I feel your pain–I've lost count of how many times I've seen stupid idiots on /rwbyg/ collectively fantasizing about horrible things happening to Ruby.
>tfw waifu disappeared from series and is likely dead(?) or they had something with her VA and just forgot her
How do I handle these feels?
Well, it sounds like they left what happened to her open-ended. So I'd say that you could easily headcanon her as being still alive.
Her not being in the show anymore is sad, but unfortunately there's nothing you can do. But unless they explicitly say she's dead, they can't take away what you two have.
You could commission some self insert art and use that to imagine you two eventually met up!
I love a girl, but she marries another man in her source. It even says that while they both might get close to others, their hearts will always belong to each other. Should I just give up? I feel like a cuck when I see images of them together.
This is something for yourself to figure out. I'd give you the same answer I gave here >>67290.
In all honesty, if it were me, I wouldn't feel right continuing on in a relationship like that, since it seems her romance with this guy is a pretty big part of her character.
You're going to have to do some serious thinking about whether or not you're okay with it, and either way isn't going to be easy. I hope you find the right choice, and I wish you the best.
I'm putting this in greentext because it would take way, waaay too long to explain it all conventionally.
>consider Erza my ideal partner because she's everything I'm not
>at the same time, feel like I want to save her from her own problems
>very gradually start to understand myself better as I begin to understand her
>feel like my spirit is being healed as I become more confident in myself thanks to her
>at the same time, my perception of her starts to change
>she becomes less angry and reserved while becoming more tender and enthusiastic
>realize that it's becoming harder to project her through the 'template' of the Erza character
>her archetypes now make her more like Shantae, who becomes an easier 'template' to project her through
>she now seems like a hybrid of both characters to me, both in personality and appearance
Incidentally, this is part of the reason why I don't post here much (not the whole reason, but part of it) and I really wasn't sure how to put it out there. Now that I've come to accept the fact that both of us have changed each other, I feel like I'm ready to admit it.
I was just wondering if anyone else has gone (or is currently going) through a similar process with their waifu?
Not really, at least not to such an extent. I mean, I imagine some small changes with Ruby (like her becoming more open to me over time) but nothing drastically altering to her character. She's still pretty fundamentally Ruby in terms of her personality. I've never really identified her with another character, except for means of comparison.
I'm curious, what exactly do you mean by "template"?
Could this change be because of character development in the series? I don't know much about that as I've only watched a dozen or so episodes of the show though. Or is it just your personal perception?
If so, couldn't she still be the same person, just that she changes with time?
I know that what I have of my waifu is only a very limited span of time in her life and that she will go on to be someone else afterwards, yet I still love her in all the instances that she exists in. I'm invested in her as a person overall, not a set of traits she has during the series.
I have changed a lot over the course of the relationship, but I can't say she has changed. Sure, my perceptions of her and how I think about her and our relationship change, but rather that my perceptions of her become more accurate and the relationship matures. Not really who she is or what she means to me essentially though. Maybe this is because her "true" personality is somewhat ambiguous and I can't put it in concrete terms that could change.
Still I'm curious about what you describe. After all, maybe this is something I could experience myself at some point.
I have something on my mind that's been bothering me for a long time now. It's about one of my daughterus. She has a sister and I'm not sure how to feel about her. She is very important to my daughteru but i don't really feel the same towards her as to my daughteru. I like her, she is a very nice girl and all but it's not the same feeling. I don't want to pretend like she doesn't exist because of what she means to my daughteru, but she can't be my daughteru either. So I don't know how to go about this. I'd like to know how you guys would go about this.
What an odd problem. Daughterus are too weird. Just "adopt" her sister into the family I guess would be a solution.
That is a bit too general for a question…
Like, it looks like you have this formal system and set of beliefs built around waifus.
Not really, mostly it's a general consensus about pretty common sense conclusions you come to when you are in love with a fictional character. There are always people hat think differently of course.
It's kinda hard to see where you're coming from though.
Very very drunk. I loved my waifu a lot, maybe too much. I was willing to kill for her, but the situation played out that I wan unable to do such atrocities
I hurt her
I betrayed her and I want to go back, but there is nothing to go back to
There's no "her" to see or interact with. My mindscape is a blasted plane of nothingness
I am a terrible man who deserves this abandonment in the most hellish of realities, but I still love her
I want her back
Even if I do not deserve her
She was the only thing to give me peace at night
I am dead without her
Fucking KILL me
I have little experience and interaction with "waifuists", but it seems each "waifuist community" approaches/handles it a different way. Either way, I'm curious as to a more indepth explanation of "waifuism" and "2D love" than what that stickied imgur link gives.
>Either way, I'm curious as to a more indepth explanation of "waifuism" and "2D love" than what that stickied imgur link gives.
Like what, there isn't really much more to it.
The emotions themselves. The ability to see a fictional character as anything more than just that.
>The emotions themselves. The ability to see a fictional character as anything more than just that.
…It's romantic love, just for a fictional person rather than a real one. There's not really much more to understand beyond that.
>Like, it looks like you have this formal system and set of beliefs built around waifus.
>I have little experience and interaction with "waifuists", but it seems each "waifuist community" approaches/handles it a different way.
Most 'communities' don't seem to have much difference in terms of their general approach though some are certainly more casual than others , I'd say it more comes down to individuals choosing to act on their love in different ways.
First of all, you admit that you're writing this while drunk. So it's very possible that once you sober up you'll feel less bad.
For one thing, you're right that you can't *really* see or interact with waifu, but you can still derive satisfaction from imagining her and your interactions. It doesn't have to be sad, just don't keep focusing on the negative side of things. Instead focus on the happiness she brings you.
I'm not quite sure exactly what you did, but it sounds like you need to make a choice. You either need to let yourself let go and learn to live without her, or you need to stay with her and reject that negative mindset. Either way, you can't stay meandering in the middle, you have to move forward one way or another.
>It's romantic love, just for a fictional person rather than a real one.
That's what I'm having trouble with. I don't get how that works. I don't understand emotionally connecting with fictional characters. Like, I fundamentally don't understand it. And romantic love is a reciprocal type thing - it's significantly different when reciprocated than when not or just imagined. How does that work with a fictional lover?
Well, characters have personality traits just like real people. Just as you would fall in love with a real person and their attributes, you're falling in love with this fictional person in a similar way. I suppose it would be hard to understand if you have trouble connecting with fiction.
> And romantic love is a reciprocal type thing - it's significantly different when reciprocated than when not or just imagined. How does that work with a fictional lover?
The imagination side of things is mainly to make it feel somewhat closer to a real relationship, even if it's not exactly the same. A lot of us also do our best to improve ourselves, to make ourselves into someone she could love if she were here.
>Well, characters have personality traits just like real people. Just as you would fall in love with a real person and their attributes, you're falling in love with this fictional person in a similar way.
How do you differentiate that from infatuation without the possibility of interaction?
>I suppose it would be hard to understand if you have trouble connecting with fiction.
Yeah, it could all be a problem on my part. The only thing I usually end up connecting to and feeling strongly for in fiction is worldbuilding/setting.
>How do you differentiate that from infatuation without the possibility of interaction?
Well, I guess there's also the desire to be with that character through whatever they're going through, and this sort of feeling of a bond with them. At least in my experience. For example, in addition to being attracted to her physical and personality traits, I also have a pretty strong feeling of attachment to Ruby, and concern for her, a desire to be with her, etc.
>Yeah, it could all be a problem on my part. The only thing I usually end up connecting to and feeling strongly for in fiction is worldbuilding/setting.
Yeah, that makes sense. If you don't connect with characters most of the time then I could see why you'd find us strange.
>this sort of feeling of a bond with them
That's the main part that confuses me.
>If you don't connect with characters most of the time then I could see why you'd find us strange.
It's less finding you all strange and more finding this whole concept confusing and intriguing. And I don't even really have a concept in my mind for connecting with a fictional character.
It's kind of hard to explain or quantify. I guess it just comes from maybe a heightened sense of empathy or sensitivity towards a character, somewhat like you would have towards a real person. As for why and how it happens, I don't really know either. Emotions are weird.
>heightened sense of empathy or sensitivity towards a character
I guess there are a few characters I feel like that for. Like, certain characters in Fire Emblem, for example, I really like, and will reset the game if they even come close to dying - and I only give them support conversations if I feel like that support would really work out well for them. And I refuse to play any route other than Neutral in SMTIV, because I don't want Isabeau to be hurt.
Yeah, that's kind of similar. I feel like the emotions that lead one to having a waifu are just a step up from that–those kind of empathetic feelings toward a character, then combined with strong attraction to their traits, ends up creating the sort of connection that someone with a waifu has. At least, that's how it pretty much was in my experience.
>Yeah, that's kind of similar.
Good to see I'm not completely emotionally detached!
> I feel like the emotions that lead one to having a waifu are just a step up from that–those kind of empathetic feelings toward a character, then combined with strong attraction to their traits, ends up creating the sort of connection that someone with a waifu has.
See, here's the thing - there are characters that I want to protect, want to see happy, and feel are attractive, but I don't really feel this bond of devotion for them. I could imagine how we'd interact all I want, but my mind would still be affirmed of their fictional nature, and it doesn't progress beyond that.
>Good to see I'm not completely emotionally detached!
Lol, I hope you didn't think I was implying that. Sorry if it came off that way.
>See, here's the thing - there are characters that I want to protect, want to see happy, and feel are attractive, but I don't really feel this bond of devotion for them. I could imagine how we'd interact all I want, but my mind would still be affirmed of their fictional nature, and it doesn't progress beyond that.
I guess it's a matter of how intense those feelings are. There are characters I've definitely had those sort of feelings for before, but they weren't quite on the level as what I have with Ruby. The emotional attachment was and is stronger there, which lead to that sort of devotion.
>Lol, I hope you didn't think I was implying that. Sorry if it came off that way.
Nah, it's something a lot of people IRL have said over my life.
>I guess it's a matter of how intense those feelings are.
That makes sense. It's never particularly intense. Just a sort of subtle thing.
>The emotional attachment was and is stronger there, which lead to that sort of devotion.
That makes sense.
Well, I'm glad I could help explain things a litlte.
Mhm. Everything else I've seen, and everywhere else I've asked has a much more biased perspective one way or another (e.g. "Waifuism is a delusion!", "Waifufaggotry is cancer!", "2D love is the only pure emotion!", or "If you don't have a waifu, you're cancer!"). This place seemed a lot more reasonable.
That's unfortunate, but I'm not surprised. There are plenty of people on both sides of things who don't really take the concept seriously.
As is true with anything. Which is why, when looking into things, I get as many places' perspectives as I can.
I never stop feeling bad, the rage and despair that is my life comes in tides.
I know what it means to have a waifu, the mechanics are not lost on me as I am of older stock than some people around here, and it is because of that understanding, which this population maintains that so many other places have lost, that I come with my grievences.
I've burned my internal reality into a Hellscape of self-torture and emptiness. I realize that I do have to go one way or another; however, without love in my heart there is no choice but death, that much is clear in my mind.
I am continually wrestling with this bitter state and so I only ask here out of a desperate need for some kind of answer and perhaps as a warning of some kind. There is nothing after the betrayal, there is only screaming and pain. I feel nothing and red shades of nothing and black shades of nothing. I wish I could see her again without this welling up of disgust and shame that forces my face away or imagine her in this physical world with space and volume without stern nothingness to the backdrop of screaming.
Maybe I should get busy dying. Don't become like me
Husbands, love your wives
I appreciate you taking the time, that's a rare thing. I hope you found it informative!
I'm somewhat confused about how you're feeling. It sounds like your problem isn't as much her fictionality as much as it is your guilt about something. What happened? Even if you don't want to say, you can't keep wallowing in the shame of it. You need to get to a place of repentance, and move forward one way or another and do your best not to repeat that mistake.
I did! I think I might keep lurking around this board, at the least. This is (mostly) a pretty comfy community from what I've seen, and even though I don't have a waifu, I can still enjoy you guys' happiness!
That's great to hear, you're welcome to hang around! We usually are fairly comfy, at least on the board.
Get a snow woman instead.
She's cute! Snow is way too cold, though. I consider anything under 80F to be jacket weather.
You could get one of those humanlike ones like Seeka Yufu.
I have no idea who she is, but she looks like she needs headpats.
I don't know what you did, but i can imagine where it goes. I don't judge you, i have done awful things during my relationship too and hurted her without even realizing it many times i don't even want to recall. I still beat myself up over it.
The bitterness and regret you're feeling now will last a long time. However, if you're feeling truly regretful about it then you may be forgiven, maybe not by your own self. Try to write a letter or talk your concerns with her. Even when she's not real letting out your emotions and putting your feelings into words will make you feel better. As long as you don't make the same mistake and improve yourself, she'll surely forgive you. Don't expect it to happen soon though, give it some time.
You fucked up and now you're facing the consequences. Self loathing about this topic is okay but what is done is done, life is too short/long to let yourself sink in despair over this, don't let it permanently ruin your relationship. Start working in remeding your mistakes instead.
You're not hopeless, If you truly want things to be like it used to don't be a faggot, don't fuck up again and get your shit together anon, do it for her sake and your own.
Headpats are good
I don't know much about her, but Sekka seems cute and very deserving of love! However, I don't think we should be pressuring anon to get a waifu, these sort of feelings should come naturally rather than being forced.
You meant Lavender. She's Letty Blacklock from A Murder is Announced by Agatha Christie.
If he's thinks Letty is cute and needs headpats he'll probably pick someone without her other qualities.
I'm pretty sure he just doesn't know much about Letty aside from you posting pictures of her. I didn't either until looking her up, to be quite honest. I don't think he meant anything bad by it.
Also, I meant that we shouldn't be pressuring the anon to get a waifu at all, regardless of who she is or her potential traits. Again, these feelings should come naturally rather than being arbitrarily forced.
I should pressure you to get a proper scythe technician.
Oh shit, I disappear for like a week and I miss Waifu War II?!
Yikes, I would hope it doesn't come to something like that.
Yeah, some random character suggestions aren't going to suddenly provoke an emotional rapture. Forced feelings almost invariably lead to spite.
In addition, the few characters for who I feel a combination of attraction, protective impulse, and desire to see happy haven't quite made that devoted "click" of love, so why would a character I don't have any particular feelings beyond "she's kinda cute" produce a more intense feeling?
Because of the absence of those other things.
Yeah. I mean, to be fair, it can start out with just finding a character cute until you learn more about them, but going into it with the express intent to force romantic feelings where there aren't any is a bad idea for all the reasons you said. It needs to be a natural process, not a manufactured one.
But the absence of those other things would make it even harder to develop a connection with that character. If the only feeling he has is 'they're kind of cute' that's not condusive to a romantic relationship.
Cuteness also makes it harder, but not as much as the rest.
…Huh? You're not making much sense. You don't pick a waifu at random just because they're 'cute'. I mean, they're undoubtedly cute, yes, but there has to be more of a connection there.
I don't see why you're so dead-set on trying to force the anon to have a waifu.
I'm both confused and intrigued by your perspective. Is it a sort of 'ex nihilo' thing? That the feelings should come from none, and that prior knowledge and emotion would cloud it?
If that anon is trying to force me to have a waifu, he's being a lot less obvious about it than other places I've been over the years. And yeah, as much as some people would like to deny it, visual appeal is an important part in relationships. It shouldn't be the only basis, but it also shouldn't be neglected.
Cuteness makes it harder to like someone, not easier.
Liking someone's choices and thoughts comes first, and as a result come emotions and finding them beautiful.
>Cuteness makes it harder to like someone, not easier.
Well, I don't know if I'd say that…for me, I think Ruby's attractiveness enhances things. But you're right in implying that it shouldn't be the main factor in a relationship.
>Liking someone's choices and thoughts comes first, and as a result come emotions and finding them beautiful.
I agree, so why did it seem like you were saying the exact opposite before? It seemed like you were trying to force him to arbitrarily select a waifu based solely around them being cute.
But what draws you to notice them before you see their thoughts and actions? And I don't see how cuteness makes liking someone harder.
Of course appearence isn't the most important thing, but it certainly is important. And it goes both ways - if you feel like you wouldn't be physically attractive to your waifu, wouldn't you want to work on that?
Yeah, I definitely agree. I'm not at all trying to imply that attractiveness isn't important–in fact, Ruby's physical traits were one of the things that initially drew me to her. And yeah, I would want to work at that, and I do. I completely agree with what you say, I'm just baffled by what the other anon is saying–first it seems like he says attractiveness is the only important thing, then he seems to say it's not important at all. He seems to be all over the place in his statements.
Suggesting Yufu was podracing, although I don't disapprove of her.
Cuteness, as an ideal, puts itself before the person. At best, it is a distraction.
Attractiveness isn't that significant. I didn't think Letty is pretty before.
>Cuteness, as an ideal, puts itself before the person. At best, it is a distraction.
Cuteness is not an ideal, though. It's a positive characteristic that, for most people, helps maintain the other connections of affection. The entire point is that attractiveness and cuteness in the like a) help you notice someone, b) accentuate features of their personality, and c) appease the basal, instinctual parts of the psyche that the majority of people are affected by.
It is not the result of someone's choices that matters, but that someone acted, e.g. by setting aside other things and learning to be cute.
Sorry I didn't respond to all this right away, had to go to work.
>Suggesting Yufu was podracing, although I don't disapprove of her.
What does podracing have to do with this conversation? Is there a meme meaning other than the Star Wars sport that I'm not aware of?
>Cuteness, as an ideal, puts itself before the person. At best, it is a distraction.Attractiveness isn't that significant. I didn't think Letty is pretty before.
I get that, I suppose. I think Ruby is more attractive now then I did when I started out–but, that's not to say I found her unattractive before, either. I found her pretty cute initially, too.
This is pretty spot on. Cuteness isn't even an entirely physical thing, a lot of times it can have to do with behavior and personality as well. Ruby's cuteness, for example, isn't just from her physical appearance, but also from her naturally energetic personality.
How do you know that cute is a 'learned' behavior that has to be forced, though? It's entirely possible that's a completely natural state for the character. This is especially true in Ruby's case.
Ultimately I think my position on this whole thing is that physical attractiveness/cuteness are definitely important components, and can help foster feelings toward a character. I'm definitely not against those things, especially considering Ruby has them in spades–I was only saying initially that you shouldn't *arbitrarily select* a waifu based on physical traits alone, which was what I thought Lettyfriend was trying to suggest at first. Clearly I must have wildly misinterpreted what he was trying to say.
Podracing means shitposting. Choosing a waifu can be based on cuteness, but love can not. Because love makes a person beautiful, only thinking about these things can reveal the cause and effect. But it is very hard to figure out how each choice affects our perception of someone, which is why I don't know why I love Letty.
Someone's natural aptitudes limits what is possible, but doesn't say anything about what he will choose to do with it. How good he is doesn't matter for forming an opinion of him, the choices do.
This is less advice and more pinging for possible ideas and input. I allow my waifu to mentally run free and go about her business, sort of like a mental AI. (Right now she's outside in the backyard. Saw her art pad out earlier so she's probably drawing the tree she'd commented on.) It makes for interesting conversation and there's usually something to mention if one of us asks the other how our day was, but this also occasionally leads to situations. This is sometimes multiplied because she's naturally meticulous and easily flustered over her "image" being ruined in some way.
>discussing computer setups with someone, position of hardware and the like
>basically friendly one-up shitposts over who has the best/most meme rig
>they send pics, want to see the inside of my tower in return
>only have shitty webcam I never use, no actual camera
>testing it so I can show the person what I mean when they're online again
>waifu comes in from reading in the other room
>her coming in for a hug or something isn't new
>gonna guess it was a romance or similar (that she claims she's not that into but I know better by now)
>semi-surprise dere, starts getting huggy and clingy, asking what I'm up to, cuddling neck and stuff
>basically trying to invite a cuddle session in a way where she doesn't have to actually ask
>make the mistake of mentioning the camera is on
>instant self-conscious freeze
>try to salvage situation by saying no one is actually watching, I'm just testing
>seems to accept this but enthusiasm is gone, face is calm but rather red
>hasn't affectionately visited in front of computer for a long time
>at least not without cautiously peering at the USB cords to make sure there's no camera because she refuses to make the same mistake twice JUST IN CASE
>think it's kinda funny but still feel bad I caused this
In public is one thing, especially since she dreads anyone seeing her as anything but composed and dignified, but I always wanted her to feel safe to be her mushy self in the privacy of our home. Talking it out mitigated it A BIT but she always seems embarrassed and fidgety now, whether she notices or not. Bringing it up yet again this long afterward might also be awkward and autistic. I didn't think I'd miss the visits as much as I do but practical reasons has me sitting here a lot and I can't avoid it. Is there any way to reverse the damage or is this just our life now? I'm okay either way, just curious what others have to say.
I do the same kind of thing with Ruby, it makes things feel more real, so I kind of understand (even if we've never been in that sort of situation before!)
Honestly it seems like this whole thing was an embarrassing mishap between you two. I wouldn't be afraid to bring it up to her again and reassure her that it won't happen again and she doesn't have to be nervous. Also if there's any way you can, try taking precautions to make sure that the camera's off, in such a way that she'll easily know as much without being hesitant.
Don't let a little thing like this interrupt you two from being affectionate!
Why not try getting the same way with her? Get all cuddly and mushy by surprise, don't even make it obvious that it has to do with the webcam incident, just try and make her feel safe or something. Rubro's advice is pretty good too. When in doubt, talk it out.
For a less orthodox solution, try putting away webcams and make sure she's watching you put them away in a box or something where they can't see her.
She knows I never use the thing and I haven't had it out in ages, nor since then. I think she's just naturally wary. Been hurt too many times, I suppose, and I get that. It's just warded her off the idea and I think she's more paranoid than I am when this shit acts up.
>Get all cuddly and mushy by surprise
I've done it a few times and still do. Usually it starts off with a bit of embarrassment on her end before she remembers where she is, then there's no issue. She seems to like it so I don't want to wear out the novelty.
>I do the same kind of thing with Ruby
>Don't let a little thing like this interrupt you two from being affectionate!
Of course not. She tends to lean/sit on me when she reads or is just in a comfy "I want to quietly be with someone" mood and I'm okay with being a body pillow or chair respectively. And yeah, the whole thing was pretty silly. I think we're just letting it fade naturally at this point. This is pushed further since a recent cooking mishap that I said I forgave her for and neither of us are bringing up again. (She's not a bad cook considering her lack of experience, and I'm just happy she cares enough to try as hard as she does.)
She tried to make some sort of weird casserole amalgamation (macaroni? bacon? arugula? bran? where did those hot dogs even come from?) then almost forgot about it and (very slight) burning occurred. Not one to give up, she kept going. When it turned out bland she tried to flavor it with hot sauce. Spicy food kills me, which she forgot since it doesn't come up often, so it was a bit of a mess. I ate it all despite the burn, because I hate wasting food and it was a relatively small fuckup, but I think she took it as me trying to be nice for her sake and made her more down. She's still beating herself up over it because that's just what she does. I'll probably drag her to someplace she likes to get her mind off it.
I think this is what happens when you get to awkward, socially retarded people in the same house together. Lots of silly misunderstandings and mishaps while we try to control our autism enough to function. Anyway, thanks for caring enough to respond, guys. Happy waifu, happy laifu.
That's really great advice.
>For a less orthodox solution, try putting away webcams and make sure she's watching you put them away in a box or something where they can't see her.
That's kind of what I meant by taking precautions. Didn't word it well in my sleep-deprived stupor.
…H-how am I supposed to interpret that picture
>Of course not. She tends to lean/sit on me when she reads or is just in a comfy "I want to quietly be with someone" mood and I'm okay with being a body pillow or chair respectively. And yeah, the whole thing was pretty silly. I think we're just letting it fade naturally at this point.
That's good to hear, hopefully you two will be able to put it behind you eventually. Sorry to hear about the cooking incident, too!
>Happy waifu, happy laifu.
>…H-how am I supposed to interpret that picture
>I think this is what happens when you get to awkward, socially retarded people in the same house together. Lots of silly misunderstandings and mishaps while we try to control our autism enough to function.
I would like to watch a slice of life/comedy anime starring you two.
So, honest question here and I apologize if it's strange, but if somebody has a waifu with a canon lover/girlfriend/husband/etc. does that technically make them a cuck unless you apply the multiverse or "object-oriented waifu" theory? From my perspective they still have that other person, they are still one of two lovers at once, isn't it sort of like cheating in a strict sense?
If it's not clear let me know and I'll be happy to elaborate.
That sounds like either cheating or polygamy depending on whether or not everyone involved is supposed to be okay with it.
Alright Mai here's my predicament.
I have loved Mu-12 since the very first time I saw her. I immediately wanted to know everything I could about her. I learned to play her well enough to even be in a top global list, ever since her first appearance.
The very sight of her calms me.
So where is the problem here?
Spoilers for BlazBlue ahead.
Mu-12 is the true form of Noel. I cannot stand Noel, at all. She isn't who I fell in love with. Yet, they took Mu away in every facet of the story now, and gave her the personality of Noel. They are polar opposites in terms of personality.
I want to show Mu the world isn't so bad. I want to show her not everyone hates her.
What do I do? Am I allowed to love someone who's practically a memory at this point?
Honestly in my opinion, yes. I'm looking at this from a perspective where my waifu doesn't have anything like that though. I think everyone for who that is the case has a different way of dealing with this though. Either through the multiverse thing or different routes.
In the end I think being a cuck is more of a mindset thing. It's whether you mind that your waifu is in a relationship with someone else canonically. If you're fine with it and see yourself as a third party observer of the relationship then you are a cuck. Or in general if you enjoy art of her being with someone else for the fact that she is with someone else instead of self-inserting or something like that, you are a cuck in my opinion.
>What do I do? Am I allowed to love someone who's practically a memory at this point?
Are you allowed? I mean, who will stop you? It sounds like you genuinely care for her. You probably have to make up your mind how that will work out since it looks like a pretty specific case. I guess it's sort of like with people whose waifu has died in canon, since essentially she did if her personality is nothing like before anymore and people have dealt with that before.
I don't hate Noel, at least from what little I've seen of her, but I'd say you're perfectly allowed. There isn't anybody to stop you. Go right ahead. As the other anon said, you'd have to address how that all works somehow, but if you genuinely want her then knock yourself out.
For the second time in my life, I've felt genuine love for a 2D girl and I have little doubt that it would evolve given time if it wasn't for this problem: >>68344
How am I supposed to love a girl who's entire series is about her love for someone? I'm certainly not a cuck, I'm as jealous and possesive as can possibly be and could never accept someone else in her life. In fact a canon relationship is precisely what put an end to my first love 5 years ago.
Yet the thought of just outright coldly rejecting her stings so much. Even though it hasn't been very long since I met her yet and too soon to truly consider her anything close to a waifu regardless, she re-awakened feelings which I believed were long dead. Things have just seen that much brighter and warmer knowing she was possibly there someway, somehow.
Could you see yourself being a rival for the guy she loves? Could you see her loving you in some way despite what goes on in the series, maybe in an alternate universe?
If you're really sure and she means a lot to you, that's probably reason enough to love her regardless, just find a way that works for you and you feel comfortable with. There are plenty of people who have a waifu that is canonically in a relationship, but they find a way to deal with it in their own way.
On another note, I think we need a new advice thread since this one has reached bump limit.