Your Hopes and Dreams Anonymous 07/20/15 (Mon) 23:50:00 No. 10796
ITT: Just post what you want out of life anon, it can be anything, let your dreams run wild, let your mind take flight. Post what you want AND/OR what you expect/want in second place. I'll start:
>Peace of mind
>Want to live somewhere quiet, on my own land, with like minded neighbors near a suburb/lone town for resupply, without any family there to make me feel bad about it
>Would like to save money to travel across country and see where I want to go, kind of a mini-adventure across some states in an RV/truck
>(This part wont ever happen) wish someone who actually understood me would come with me
>Decent sized bong and some pot, a few easy to make meals maybe some fresh stuff, water filter, supplies etc etc
>Golden Dawns Hot Sauce, a small crates worth because its liquid gold
>Ideally to settle down somewhere as I described before, work as a park ranger or something, enjoy life simply
>To escape current living situation
Keeping my thing simple for now. Lets see what /mental/ wants.
Anonymous 07/21/15 (Tue) 00:25:31 No. 10797
>let your dreams run wild
I want to make a scientific contribution.
I want to found a business.
I want to win a political election.
Anonymous 07/21/15 (Tue) 11:37:08 No. 10804
Anonymous 07/21/15 (Tue) 15:49:01 No. 10806
After my schizophrenia diagnosis my doctor told me to not get my hopes up about life in general.
So nowadays I'll just tend to have realistic dreams and hopes for the future
>not being poor and homeless
>having a comfy apartment
>heaving a steady income doing something I like
So far I've accomplished my 3 goals. I just have to keep it up now for the rest of my life.
Anonymous 07/22/15 (Wed) 05:29:33 No. 10818
>having my own place
>being in a stable long term relationship
>finishing school and having a job where I use my degree and enjoying being there
>smoke weed every day
>get a cat
>get back into painting
>no longer need therapy or meds
Anonymous 07/22/15 (Wed) 07:50:27 No. 10821
>>10796
I've never met anyone who understands me either op. It's incredibly lonely.
>see us win the cultural war
>people have community and trust each other
>live to an old age in a cozy cabin with my qt
>fresh fish every morning
>shoot cans in the afternoon
>watch the stars in front of a fire every night
>tfw this will never be me
Anonymous 07/22/15 (Wed) 09:09:29 No. 10822
>end hierarchy
>become a musician that /mu/ likes
>find someone who I can actually connect with
>own a weed garden
>learn chemistry
>live in a vehicle
>live in a cyberpunk sci-fi fucking lights and screens everywhere city
>live in space
>pilot a giant robot
>become legitimately good at what I love doing and maybe live off it
Anonymous 07/22/15 (Wed) 19:37:42 No. 10823
No point in bothering as they can't happen anyway.
>then lower your expectations
If only it were that easy to just not want what I want and find satisfaction in things I have no real care for…and nothing has really given me any real satisfaction, at least nothing that I have found. Pleasure is nothing, I want something more.
All I can really do is daydream.
Anonymous 07/22/15 (Wed) 20:30:32 No. 10824
>>10823
Satisfaction is something, at least.
Anonymous 07/23/15 (Thu) 00:22:18 No. 10832
>Embrace the future with no fear
>Be in a relationship. Or not.
>Learn the most I can and possibly be an academic
>Have my own place and live a slightly ascetic life.
>Teach philosophy (especially Ethics and Philosophy of Mind) in my free time.
>Get physically stronger
Anonymous 07/23/15 (Thu) 09:58:11 No. 10838
>>10823
>>10824
Fug.
Satisfaction Pleasure is something, at least.
Anonymous 07/23/15 (Thu) 10:45:15 No. 10839
>>10838
No. At this point it is nothing but a short term surge that is pointless to chase after to the point where I actually feel disgusted by going after it. Nothing in the universe lasts forever so pursuing anything material just seems fruitless. Maybe I am overthinking things or being concerned with things that aren't worth being concerned over.
Like I said, I want something more. Something with real meaning.
Anonymous 07/23/15 (Thu) 14:28:50 No. 10842
>>10796
>learn everything ever
>get /fit/
>conquer fears
>invent shit
>own a business
>have an enormous dick
>wake up covered in bitches every day
>get off /b/
I have done none of these.
Anonymous 07/23/15 (Thu) 16:36:41 No. 10843
>>10839
I guess pleasure and happiness are two separate things, right?
I haven't been happy in so long I guess I got them mixed up. I do still get some pleasure from things like food and music.
What provides real meaning then? Dying a glorious death seems impossible today.
Anonymous 07/23/15 (Thu) 18:15:39 No. 10844
Hang myself and hope I respawn return in my version of the world, also known as Het Naamloze Verhaal.
On topic:
>move out to somewhere near a forest because nature does something with me I cannot explain, in a postive way
>get a proper paying job in IT
>get a car, something with AWD/4WD like a Subaru Justy 1.2 4WD ECVT, or a Impreza Plus 2.0 AWD because holy shit sand/forest paths become watery when it just rained
>try not to piss the wrong one off
>break contact with familiy for the most part, because what the fuck did they even do good for me the last 5-7 years as of now? NOTHING!
>Live on
>goto above
Anonymous 07/24/15 (Fri) 05:55:49 No. 10853
What I want, ranked from most to least desired:
>large quantities of booze/drugs and an oni waifu to enjoy them with
>no more brain problems
>simple, quiet life
What I expect know is coming:
>continued failure to connect with anyone else
>continued failure to get my life under control
>continued failure to be a good role model for my younger brother
>suicide
Anonymous 07/24/15 (Fri) 09:58:42 No. 10857
Partial memory wipe or a sudden death.
Anonymous 07/24/15 (Fri) 21:38:36 No. 10864
File: 1437773916073.jpg (34.49 KB, 400x327, 400:327, tumblr_mtm4jq091v1qljj91o2….jpg )
In the short term, I want:
>SSI/Disability
>Health insurance
>One on one therapy/counseling
>To lose weight
In the long term, I want:
>To make a living off of my art somehow
>To be able to drive myself places without having panic attacks
>A house
>To live in a bigger city with more public services/more to do
>To travel
Anonymous 07/25/15 (Sat) 22:56:39 No. 10869
OP here, nice replies so far, the feels flow like anal juice from the booty blasted butts of one thousand fuck baby islanders, I feel those feels too.
I'm not sure if I want this, but I think I'd like a partial return to innocence. To when I didn't see my father slaving away to make a measly $15,000 a year to support a family of six, to when I ask why did my parents even have me, or if God really existed why make us like this or let ourselves fuck up so bad? Why make something that has a nature such as this? I get scared at the idea of neuron-degeneration and schizophrenic mental decay, worried my bipolar will go the same way and it makes me cringe and my skin crawl.
I don't know anything anymore man, I feel like a kid. Like nothing almost.
Anonymous 07/26/15 (Sun) 23:04:11 No. 10880
>>10869
>I'm not sure if I want this, but I think I'd like a partial return to innocence.
/abdl/
Anonymous 07/28/15 (Tue) 00:05:22 No. 10892
>>10880
This. Get into age regression if you hate being old.
Anonymous 07/28/15 (Tue) 03:44:25 No. 10895
To love
and, most importantly,
to be loved.
Anonymous 07/28/15 (Tue) 04:13:45 No. 10897
>>10892
I did mean that as a joke, but I wonder if it actually could be beneficial.
Anonymous 07/30/15 (Thu) 06:28:48 No. 10933
Anonymous 07/30/15 (Thu) 07:42:57 No. 10935
I want to
>stop being transgender
>love myself and my body for what it is
>go back to college and get my masters degree
>learn to cook
>have a garden
>learn to code
>Own a fox
Anonymous 07/31/15 (Fri) 07:51:41 No. 10948
>>10935
Have you considered trying hormone therapy of your biological gender? Could be risky but so is mutilating yourself and pumping yourself full of the wrong type of hormone.
Anonymous 07/31/15 (Fri) 08:45:23 No. 10949
>>10948
My hormone levels were well within normal ranges before I started transitioning. There was no "hormone therapy of my biological gender".
I am not sure what you are trying to say, or are you just telling me to stop being trans like its that easy.
Anonymous 07/31/15 (Fri) 08:58:25 No. 10950
>>10949
I mean, assuming you're a male, what if you boosted your testosterone levels?
Anonymous 08/01/15 (Sat) 01:45:35 No. 10958
>>10950
My testosterone levels were completely normal before transitioning, "boosting" wouldn't have been healthy.
Anonymous 08/01/15 (Sat) 21:38:17 No. 10973
File: 1438465097175.gif (999.99 KB, 500x281, 500:281, tumblr_mcm4ftaaJN1rwiv0vo1….gif )
>>10958
>>10935
Not the guy who replied but i know for fact that every human beings have capacity to learn anything if they put heart to it. As for stopping being trans, i'll go with this: What makes you trans? Are you bi? if so does liking both sexes increase your "transness"? I think if you want to stop being trans, you need a realization that personally affects you down to your core. In your case, since you want to stop that, i suppose you think it is a bad thing. Try to find all the logical reasons on why it is bad. And think wide while at it. Very wide. Someone supportive/therapists might help you with that.
As for owning a cute fox, live nearby woods. They are adorable.
Good luck.
Anonymous 08/02/15 (Sun) 01:38:49 No. 10976
>>10973
That fox gif is the greatest thing to happen to me today. I want one even more.
As for your advice, Ill give it a shot. Lord knows Ill give just about anything a shot at this point.
Anonymous 08/02/15 (Sun) 06:47:53 No. 10978
>>10976
Nigga i give you two more.
Just don't be afraid to talk about it, if it is a person you trust for a reason, then i'm pretty sure they'll help you like friends always do… i hope.
Anonymous 08/02/15 (Sun) 18:19:40 No. 10982
>>10978
I dont really have anyone I trust anymore. I lost my family and friends to transitioning. If I tried to be like "Im a guy again? we cool?" it would only make them justified in telling me it was a phase and that Im wrong.
No, theres no one to talk to about it, which is why I am reaching out online to find successful detransitioners.
Anonymous 08/04/15 (Tue) 04:40:52 No. 11001
>>10982
being wrong isn't THIS bad, but it hurts the ego. Yet i think ego is a bad thing. If they reply to you the way you think they are shit. Friends and family should be understandful instead of assholes.
Well that's what i was told about…
Anonymous 08/05/15 (Wed) 10:32:10 No. 11020
>Just post what you want out of life
For it to be over.
Anonymous 08/05/15 (Wed) 13:07:34 No. 11021
to wake up from this nightmare
Anonymous 08/06/15 (Thu) 09:32:54 No. 11029
>Get my own place, live independently
>Ride bike regularly
>Grow plants I guess
>Consume more media on a regular basis, use what I learn to make my own media
Anonymous 08/09/15 (Sun) 01:02:11 No. 11174
Someone that cares about me and loves me
Anonymous 08/10/15 (Mon) 00:56:11 No. 11183
When I was a child I saw my cell physiologist dad fall into a clinical depression, probably mainly because of corruption in his scientific field. He went into it thinking it would be actual science; instead it has became war of who gets the most published articles. Among that many seem to use their sometimes completely fabricated "research" as a commercial for companies they are associated with. Because of shitty peer-review(or complete lack if it), this stuff gets published and even credited.
I'd like science to become something which has nothing to do with business, as it should be. I would have wanted to do some kind of research too, but the only "pure" fields are the heavily mathematical ones(physics, math) and I'm just too stupid for that.
Anonymous 08/15/15 (Sat) 11:22:34 No. 11246
>>10796
I want a job I enjoy, that pays well enough not to have to work stupid-long hours. Or that isn't so tiring I can work 10 hours a day four days a week, and take a 3-day weekend.
But one that burns enough calories so I don't have to waste time exercising on my own time.
I want to live somewhere quiet, but with decent transport links to be able to get other places easily. I think that's impossible in the UK, though.
At least somewhere that I can get peace and quiet without driving for hours first. I think I want to move to Yorkshire.
I want to learn things. Knowledge, facts, skills, whatever. Knowing things, especially things other people don't know makes me happy.
Friends. RL friends I can hang out with regularly, and enough of them that they don't get sick of me/I don't get sick of them.
I have some, but only a few close by. My methods of meeting people often end up with me meeting people from hours away, which is a pain.
A house big enough that I don't have to constantly restrict my accumulation of stuff, but not so big I feel I'm rattling around in it. And someone to remind me to eat/sleep/drink.
And enough money to be able to buy things that interest me, follow projects, and do things on a whim. And buy new socks/underwear regularly, because there's not a lot better than new socks.
A hobby like 40K that isn't constantly shat on by new editions and marketing. Maybe I'll take up historical wargaming, or just use an older edition.
Someone who cares about me but won't be constantly frustrated because I'm autistic. And isn't a two-faced cunt.
Anonymous 08/15/15 (Sat) 15:47:00 No. 11248
>to be content with myself and who I am. Everyone else is content with me so why am i not?
>to live in a lush forest near to a big city (not gonna happen in the shitty UK, the only good city is London and it costs tons to live there)
>to finally finish my music and play it with a band in small clubs, or supporting bands i like or something
>>10973
I like people with no experience on trans issues try to say shit like 'just work through it' as if that will make any difference. It's the same as saying to someone who is schizophenic or depressed to just try and stop being schizophrenic and depressed. It's a fucked up brain issue and the only documented treatment is transition. So far at least but like I said, it's the only one. Boosting my testosterone won't help. It has nothing to do with being bi or anything like that.
Anonymous 08/15/15 (Sat) 20:43:42 No. 11251
>to stop having social anxiety and agoraphobia
>to stop being a narcissist
>to stop having OCD
>to find a way to generate money in a way that will be fulfilling instead of destroy my soul
>to experience what it's like to be in a relationship
>to experience what it's like to have real friends
>to get out of this house and country; live alone
Anonymous 08/16/15 (Sun) 20:26:54 No. 11261
>living somewhere quiet and peaceful, preferably in a cabin near the woods
>a lovely wife and two or three kids
>being a good husband and man
I dont ask for much, do I? I just want to be loved.
Anonymous 08/17/15 (Mon) 05:16:15 No. 11267
Man, all I really want to do is get rid of this mindset that SOMEDAY I'll be great and famous. It's kept me from doing anything because I keep thinking, "I'll just do one last useless thing now, and then I'll power through and begin my rise to fame." I've always seen my life, since I was little, as the famous me in the future, looking back on before I was famous. It's completely ruined my life, and now I feel like I've dug a hole for myself I can't get out of.
Oh yeah, and I also want to finally do something that would've made my dad proud, if he hadn't died when I was 14.
Anonymous 08/17/15 (Mon) 12:00:19 No. 11272
>>11267
Yeah, I know what you mean.
For me it was easier to accept my fate. If I was truly supposed to be famous then I would be there already. I mean, I envision working towards something that I really want as inspiring and that I wouldn't be wanting to escape all the time. Maybe you are meant for something different. Being famous is a trap in that it's great as a fleeting thought but do you know what it's actually like to have to face so many people and have your privacy robbed? I'm guessing that it's probably an irrational pursuit for you at this point, as you say that you want to get rid of it. But nevertheless, the piece of you that wants fame, do you know why it does? It may be easier to deal with it once you know the reasons.
Anonymous SAGE! 09/18/15 (Fri) 20:47:23 No. 11682
>to be normal
>not to be retarded
>to finally achieve happiness for more then a single minute
>to feel emotions again
>to fall in love
>to actually believe this will happen
>to jump from the golden gate bridge
Anonymous 12/01/15 (Tue) 00:04:09 No. 12397
I have no hopes and dreams, just fears and dissaponitment.
help.
Anonymous 12/09/15 (Wed) 03:47:14 No. 12445
Make the world burn, then rebuild it with ashes
>inb4 too much edge
Anonymous 12/11/15 (Fri) 08:29:21 No. 12461
Let your dreams run wild, eh? Here goes nothing.
>>Location:
The mountainous area of Washington State, two houses, one house made of bulletproof glass (like, can have a rave in it, explained below) with an no-budget sound system and lighting array. The other a modernized, automated tiny home for a family of two (~700 sq. ft.).
>>Career:
Assembling high-end gaming pc's/servers/render-farms/etc. (maybe Puget Systems?), the most fun thing in the world to me, above sex.
>>Romantic status:
Married, two wives (one being a 100% passable trap) and a husband. Pansexuality makes it so hard to decide!
>>Hobbies:
Small personal pot farm, throwing weekly parties (and the occasional orgy) in the above-mentioned glass house, gathering of spiritually matching people for a small community of nudists in the surrounding area for a meditation and support group (like a tribe, anarchy reigning, everyone having their positions in the community, me being the village technician).
>>Personal goals:
Get down to 165-175 LBS from 190-195, see a shrink regularly to help resolve what in the absolute fuck is going on with my head (all signs are pointing to Schizophrenia, Parkinson's, early Arthritis, and Bipolar Disorder at the same damn time) and to vent to. Try to fix the problem of not being able to feel my orgasms (I can finish, but not feel, emotions even driving the sex).
Anonymous 12/12/15 (Sat) 05:24:19 No. 12473
I want a way out.
To be murdered or have some kind of accident happened to me. Then I wouldn't have to worry about killing myself and the consequences of such a thing.
Anonymous 12/12/15 (Sat) 13:01:58 No. 12477
>>12473
Sounds exactly like my dream.
Alternatively once my dad dies I'm just going to an hero in front of a train or something.
Anonymous 12/22/15 (Tue) 09:51:27 No. 12527
1) Upload my mind into something artificial that would be easier to modify and maintain.
2) Make a fork of human civilization somewhere far away from the rest of humanity, except for communications.
3) Hang out on the interplanetary Internet analog where fellow intelligent constructs share their tech and discoveries with everyone.
4) Have fun living as one of aliens that have their own relatively less developed civilization in an alien looking like proxy indistinguishable from other aliens with their technology.
The core is: to delay death for unknown time and to achieve independence from the rest of humanity while retaining benefits of civilization.
Anonymous 12/25/15 (Fri) 00:58:04 No. 12538
>>12527
there is already mad-anarchism
Anonymous 12/28/15 (Mon) 20:54:23 No. 12561
File: 1451336063460.jpg (39.31 KB, 480x574, 240:287, tmp_4733-1413847064837-149….jpg )
Hey guys OP here. It's been quite a while figured Id post regardless of the necro bumps. Board seems to be dying so I'll try to contribute more often.
Fam is moving to NY on someone's charity we get to live in a one bedroom apt and use backyard.
new dream: live isolated in the woods, try not to end it all. It's only gotten worse.
Anonymous 12/30/15 (Wed) 04:49:55 No. 12572
>>12527
Finally, someone who thinks like me
Anonymous 12/31/15 (Thu) 01:52:23 No. 12581
>>12537
I don't get what you mean.
That picture was supposed to add some irony to post, just to clarify.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 03:57:19 No. 12600
I want to be able to die having lived life to my satisfaction.
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 20:40:28 No. 12605
>finish learning Japanese
>finish my game
>finish learning drawing
>finish university education
>become a police officer and get promoted to detective
One of those is already impossible because of my hospitalization, and the rest are getting close to impossible since I'm going to die.
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 21:37:04 No. 12606
I want to be able to feel that my best is good enough. I want to be happy with the fruits of my labor rather than seeing them as rotten compared to everyone else around me. My work has always seemed like rags in my eyes compared to others.
I know the answer is to stop comparing myself to others, but I don't know how. I can't just magically will away the constant nagging in my mind, the screaming jealousy and the crushing envy that distorts my judgment and makes it stand upon its head. It even shuts out the appraisal of others when I do receive it as I always interpret it as pity or them simply not wanting to hurt feelings.
Anonymous 01/09/16 (Sat) 06:50:27 No. 12620
>>10806
same, diagnosed a couple years ago with temporal lobe epilepsy
want to kill myself often, but the hope of just having a small place to be comfortable keeps me going
Anonymous 01/14/16 (Thu) 15:18:45 No. 12627
I don't have any. I have a nearly constant dispassionate view on everything. I can only list the lists I don't want to do and the rest aren't interesting either. It makes getting better pointless if I have no reason to do it.
Anonymous 01/14/16 (Thu) 23:44:27 No. 12628
I guess the most reasonable things I can hope for is that I maintain the capability to take care of my dog properly for the duration of his life, and that I die quickly and abruptly, preferrably without bothering anyone.
Dreams and hopes only lead to dissapointment most of the time, and delusions in the worst.
Anonymous 01/22/16 (Fri) 03:18:57 No. 12640
I want to stop having anxiety issues and being loved by someone without living in fear of betrayed again.
I don't see any of it appearing in the near future. It's even worse when someone says to like me a lot and I do too but she's with someone that treats her like a piece of shit and I can't say anything about it.
Anonymous 01/22/16 (Fri) 03:20:22 No. 12641
>>12640
being betrayed*
Fuck this shit, man.
Anonymous 01/24/16 (Sun) 04:59:46 No. 12645
I want to live alone in the middle of nowhere, just taking care of my animals and preparing for nuclear habbening. Then when they all die I want to burn down my house and wander around until I starve. That'd be pretty comfy tbh
Anonymous 01/24/16 (Sun) 17:26:13 No. 12647
Not being utterly and completely alone for the rest of my life. I don't care much about everything else.I just want to make the people I love happy by any means. If that means getting myself in a world of hurt, I don't care. I just want to see the people I love smile.
I probably didn't make much sense. Sorry.
Anonymous 01/25/16 (Mon) 00:31:57 No. 12648
I want friends that I can trust and support
I want adventures big and small
To find peace and happiness with myself
Maybe a child…maybe
Anonymous 01/31/16 (Sun) 01:19:10 No. 12663
I want:
>A Trap bf or MILF gf
>Make a full fledged game based off my hallucinations and dreams
>Have alot of fame and money
>Love myself finally
>Have forgiveness of the girl from my freshman year
>Get noticed by many groups of people
>Have a huge party before I die
And Finally…..
>Give a huge fuck you to the people who doubted me
I might make it or not but, I will at least live a full life before I go to hell or some shit.
Anonymous 01/31/16 (Sun) 01:43:17 No. 12664
I just want to live
I can't take any of this anymore
I'm crying for two weeks straight
please why won't anybody help me
why won't anybody care
I wanna run away far far away
leave all you assholes behind
telling me you care
you fucking don't
you fucking don't
Anonymous 02/05/16 (Fri) 07:37:50 No. 12685
>be in relationship
>live somewhere i'm happy
>make enough money to buy expensive clothes and travel
Anonymous 02/10/16 (Wed) 22:50:23 No. 12709
>intimacy
>have someone actually love me in a romantic way
>stable job I can handle
>not be a casanova type (minus the sexual/romantic attraction) character
>do my best to be a good person
Anonymous 02/11/16 (Thu) 09:53:11 No. 12713
>to have a ghibli style house in the California countryside but still close enough to Los Angeles
>have it be kind of a small farm
>have a pet pig, a few pet dogs and cats, and maybe some other pets too
>a whole flower garden for aesthetic purposes
>to be a nice lesbian relationship with some girl, maybe poly, maybe not, w/e
>maybe we'd have kids
>maybe have a few pot plants growing since it's legal down there
>practically a million flypens I bought off of ebay or amazon
>to be a successful indie cartoonist
or more realistically
>be semi-popular internet cartoonist
>have comfy affordable apartment far from from my abusive family
>have it not be infested with roaches or w/e the fuck
>to not feel exhausted and suicidal 24/7
>stop hallucinating this one fuck that rapes(?) me a lot
>not have schizophrenic mental decay
>acquire an actual self esteem and not have to cover up my insecurities with ego
>STOP STAYING UP TILL 4 AM
Anonymous 02/13/16 (Sat) 02:15:27 No. 12725
I just want to fix the management of natural resources, perhaps some physics and maybe play in a jazz band with other aspies. Also, I'm not sure yet if I can enjoy a relationship, would like to find out but can't really make any other contact with people but kind of exploitative/subject-related. Also, a ocean capable sailboat would be nice.
Anonymous 03/04/16 (Fri) 21:53:34 No. 12772