I was on a couple of antidepressants for a year or so. I hated it. Id rather feel suicidal than feel nothing at all times, regardless of what is happening.
Feeling like an empty void is hell, its surreal.
Now I try to live like a hedonist as best I can. If it seems fun, I just do it. Cram my mouth with junk food and energy drinks, play video games whenever I want.
Its more escapism but I get fleeting moments of happiness sometimes. I live for those moments.