>>10353
I had a fairly rough childhood, and didn't move very far away from it. The assholes who used to pick on me are still there, and the town I grew up in is a shithole still.
I still visit there every week or so to hang with friends. I put up with shithole town because these are people I've known for 15 years. Previously, when I used to cycle there, people would try and kill me just because I was a cyclist. Or just try to drive through me because they didn't see me.
> How do you know they were trying to kill you
Throwing stuff from cars. Trying to hit me with cars. Repeated passes. Throwing shit from the side of the road. Trying to stop me by walking out in front of me.
I'm autistic. If people find out, they tend to treat me like an idiot, or expect things of me that I just can't do. I'm scared that if people find out, they'll turn on me.
That's what people did in school, anyway.
I drive a fairly generic car, so I'm constantly at risk of being stopped by the police just because my car matches a description and is being driven fast.
> How do you
They've done it before, with that given as a reason. Pulled me over after sneaking up behind me, ran my details/license/plates, then apologised and said they were looking for someone else with a similar car.
Normal people are idiots. I need to be constantly vigilant that they don't kill me through incompetence/ignorance. I can't read them, and don't know all of their rules. Some idiot taxi driver pulled out in front of me the other day, and I nearly hit him because of the speed difference.
People are liable to make fun of me for being a loner, or looking wierd, or any number of things.
Hell, I was at a festival over the weekend. Looking through the pictures people took with me in, I can see that my 'I'm male and over 18, honest' excuse for a beard looked pretty fucking stupid. I had no idea. Now I have to fucking change it because it looks stupid.
And for that matter, I have to copy FtM trannies in order to not be mistaken for a girl because of my hair.
> Cut your hair
Fuck no. I LIKE my hair. I like the ringlets, and I look stupid with short hair. Plus, the long hair hides any bruises on my head caused by the dyspraxia.
And yes, that causes bruises. I keep whacking my head on things. And elbows, and knees, and pretty much every extremity.
And the dyspraxia means constant vigilance as well, or I'll smack an extremity on something, or walk into a door/doorframe, or trip over something. Or trip over nothing/the floor/my own feet.
Even at work, I have to be super careful. I've gotten laid off from a perfectly good job I was good at before, just because the company got fucked over. The company I work for now is going through a rough patch, and I have to do a super good job to avoid losing my job.
And I've got to appear as if I'm working hard, even though I'm fucking lazy at work. I get the work done, but I've got a whole load of methods set up to do it with the minimum amount of effort. I waste about an hour a day just playing air guitar when there's nothing to do right that minute.
If I lose my job, I'll go insane again. If I'm not working, I get bored and depressed and angry and lose track of what sanity's meant to be like.
Even my own brain is out to get me, with the dysfunction.