Hey everyone. I'm here to ask for a bit of advice, because I'm confused as to what is going on in my head right now. I'd like to be able to confer with you guys for a bit. Now, I don't think this is a substitute for a professional, but it is a nice startin

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Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 05:59:23 No.3935

Hey everyone. I'm here to ask for a bit of advice, because I'm confused as to what is going on in my head right now. I'd like to be able to confer with you guys for a bit. Now, I don't think this is a substitute for a professional, but it is a nice starting point. I'm not asking for a diagnosis, I'm asking for information that may relate to these symptoms. (Please don't think I won't be taking this advice with a grain of salt, everything I hear here is just going to be for reference.)

Keeping it short, I've not been in the right mindset lately. I've been anxious a lot, especially when I'm just about to go to sleep. My heart rate rises and I can't sit still. I've wanted to inflict some sort of pain in order to relax myself after these moments.

Secondly, I've been arguing with myself. Well, I'm not sure it's myself. The voice itself is not very intrusive, but we disagree on a lot. I used to think it was just me arguing a point in my head, but it's more like I'm talking to someone else. Before I knew it, I'd started referring to them as another me. I don't know how it happened, but a very blurry line is forming.

Lastly, I've felt strange in my own skin lately. I've begun referring to it as "the body" for some reason, I've drastically changed the way I look in the past few months, as well as having long, extended feelings of being an observer. Like the body is just a place where I reside, rather than something that is a part of me. It's strange, but I feel as if a lot of the stuff happening around me is background noise. I'll lose myself during conversations or trip up in some way because of it.

Do you guys have any idea what I should do, what this sounds like, have you gone through it before? I'm lost, with no place to start, no definition, or anything.

Thanks.

Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 06:14:01 No.3937

Sounds like something on the schizo-spectrum but I'm unsure.

Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 06:51:17 No.3938

>>3937
Yeah pretty sure that voice thing is a schizophrenia symptom, but I have it and I'm pretty sure I'm not a schizophrenia so yeah

don't know about the anxiety, but the not feeling at home in your body is called dysphoria and it's a symptom of depersonalization

I'm sorry but I can't really help you get over these things, I'm still trying to find a way myself. I'm here for you though brother :)

Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 08:52:48 No.3946

So, OP.

I have a peculiar experience in psychology, and that's not coming out of books.

You had been very depressed lately, haven't you?
Depression leads to this sort of "indipendent thoughts", expecially in a chronic state.

Now, i cannot suggest you any solution that is 100% working, just deal with your depression, and it will go away sooner or later.

The way i acted when this started was different, but i do not advice you that…

Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 10:20:58 No.3953

>>3946
OP here. I haven't actually felt depressed, which is part of the reason I'm so confused as to what's going on.

Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 12:23:17 No.3959

>>3953
Can you make it speak willingly?

If yes put some music on and start listening

Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 12:44:10 No.3963

One important aspect of your condition is derealization, which I think you described pretty accurately.

It can make you feel like your body is just some tool hanging onto a positionless mind, and your mind feeling like a positionless observer powerlessly watching a distant projection as a commentator. Do you feel like the most authentic "you" is the commentator or the one with a foot planted in the physical reality?

I might be making a lot of assumptions here, but that was my experience with derealization.

Mine was probably induced by my use of psychedelics and synthetic cannabinoids. Have you been using drugs? Well, I stayed away, and after a few months I was my good old self again. I then smoked weed frequently for a few weeks, and I had to start all over again. Stay away. Drugs can bring out whatever shit is latent in those mysterious depths of the brain.

A lot of people experience derealization temporarily at some point in their lives independent of drugs and mental illness. Hopefully this is the case for you. Get a lot of sleep and surround yourself with dynamic reality, like friends, projects and whatever makes you happy - as much as possible.

Having a crush on someone seemed impossible to me, but maybe the crush I experienced when it subsided was actually the cure. I don't know.

Anyway, I recommend you speak to a professional about it.

Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 13:48:03 No.3970

>>3959
Not usually, but I can always try.

>>3963
I'm not a drug user, mainly due to the fact that drugs are great at opening up possibilities for mental illness. The closest I've been is in the same room as some smokers a few times.

The most authentic one would likely be the observer. I have a lot stronger ties to my mind than I do to my body. I think that the body is a vessel of sorts. When I slip out of concentration, I tend to recede into my own thoughts. During an "episode" (I have nothing else to call it right now) I have to remind myself that I'm actually sitting, standing, or existing wherever I am, that the things around me are really happening, and I'm not sleeping or watching someone else.

Assumptions are fine. I was searching for people's assumptions.

Anonymous 11/26/14 (Wed) 14:04:07 No.3973

>>3970
Definitely sounds like derealization. Used to come in waves for me, especially bad when sitting or standing still, like on the bus or waiting for it. Almost forgot how to walk sometimes.

Anonymous 11/27/14 (Thu) 05:47:42 No.4030

>>3963
>Get a lot of sleep and surround yourself with dynamic reality, like friends, projects and whatever makes you happy
Oh my…

Anonymous 11/27/14 (Thu) 14:55:50 No.4053

>>3935
what happens if you try to let/make that other you control your body?

Anonymous 11/27/14 (Thu) 19:44:27 No.4072

>>4030
?

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 08:56:07 No.4120

>>4072
Those are basically all the things that I DON'T do.

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 12:35:59 No.4130

>>4120
Same here, but mainly because I have very little going on in my life at the moment. But being in the same static environment all alone with no goal everyday makes you especially aware of all mental abnormalities going on, and when you keep focusing on it, it's only gonna get worse. So *as much as possible* is good.

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 12:55:33 No.4133

>>3935
>I'm talking to someone else
>Before I knew it, I'd started referring to them as another me
>the body is just a place where I reside, rather than something that is a part of me

Nice. These are not necessarily bad things. They might even be the starting point of something great.
I suggest you ask >>/fringe/.
We have a "question thread", just copy and paste your post there.
You're not "ill", you're just a little different, in cultures of the past "different" people became shamans. I'm not kidding you. There must be a reason I stumbled across your post and told you this stuff. You've got nothing to lose, so give >>/fringe/ a shot.

>schizophrenia
>a bad thing

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 13:04:57 No.4134

>>4133
Are you suggesting OP might have supernatural abilities or divine purpose because of depersonalization?

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 13:10:19 No.4135

>>4134
It's not that simple.
I suggest he takes a look at fringe.
I do not see "mental illnesses" the way you do.
If OP wants to follow my advice, good, if not, he's free to do so.

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 13:10:57 No.4136

>Secondly, I've been arguing with myself. Well, I'm not sure it's myself. The voice itself is not very intrusive, but we disagree on a lot. I used to think it was just me arguing a point in my head, but it's more like I'm talking to someone else. Before I knew it, I'd started referring to them as another me. I don't know how it happened, but a very blurry line is forming.
I've had this as long as I can remember. I refer to my body as "we" in my head.
>Like the body is just a place where I reside, rather than something that is a part of me.
Also have this.
I was diagnosed with psychosis. Anti psychotics aren't very fun.
Lately my condition has gotten worse where I have closed eye hallucinations, even seeing entities I can communicate with and just today I noticed auditive hallucinations. When I close my eyes I can also see my hands and other parts of my body like as if they were open and even objects I'm holding. Sometimes I see things that feel like predictions, like bad stuff happening to me or other people. I'll wait and see if these things have any ground in reality, or should I say this reality.

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 13:19:07 No.4137

>>4136
>>4134
>>4135
>I have closed eye hallucinations, even seeing entities I can communicate with and just today I noticed auditive hallucinations. When I close my eyes I can also see my hands and other parts of my body like as if they were open and even objects I'm holding. Sometimes I see things that feel like predictions, like bad stuff happening to me or other people. I'll wait and see if these things have any ground in reality, or should I say this reality.

See what I mean? These entities ARE NOT just in his head. Hell, this guy can even see through his eyelids.

That's why I'm directing op to fringe.
Hell, the whole board might benefit from knowing more about this stuff.

There should be a thread about schizophrenia somewhere… here it is:

http://8chan.co/fringe/res/2056.html

Anyway, I'm just a random /fringe/ guy browsing the board, I reccomend you take a look at that stuff, but if you don't want to, no one's forcing you to do so.

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 13:26:29 No.4138

>>4137
>Hell, this guy can even see through his eyelids.
Pretty sure what I described is akin to the description of synesthesia, seeing what I feel in this case, with objects I'm holding being like extensions of my hand.
I wish I was some type of shaman, but so far I have no proof of this being the case. But hey maybe you're right, that'd be cool.

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 13:34:56 No.4139

>>4138
Fair enough.
I just want you to know that the entities you communicate with might not be "in your head".
What does your intuition tell you about this? Do they feel alien or part of yourself? Are they aggressive or chill?

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 23:24:22 No.4167

>>4136
op again

If you follow fringe guy's advice and check out fringe, I still recommend you don't stop regular treatment.

I think that the fringe board has an interesting view of mental illness, that it could even help some people out. Just be careful.

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 23:26:10 No.4168

>>4053
I don't believe it has that much control. I've tried relieving control before as part of thoughtforming but so far I've not had anything take any control.

Anonymous 11/28/14 (Fri) 23:52:47 No.4173

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Hi OP, i've been reading stuff you said in this thread, and i might know what's wrong with you.

First, your problem is that you have LOTS of mental illnesses.

Second, you look like you have a primordial form of DID, also called split personality.

Answer to this question, please, it's more important than you think.

Do you feel like you had a really bad trauma in your life, but you can't recall what it is from your memory?

Do you feel like something is wrong with you, but you can't focus on what?

These two questions are supposed to make you mind go crazy if i'm right with my assumptions, so feel free to writhe everything that comes out of your mind.

op 11/29/14 (Sat) 04:53:56 No.4194

>>4173

I don't think I've had any trauma inflicted. Nothing seems to leap out at me, or play at the back of my mind as such. It's possible I've forgotten, but I'm not sure.

The second question has actually taken me aback a lot more than the first. It sounds very, very accurate. I often feel like there's something wrong, but trying to find an explanation for it seems pretty moot - like nothing fits.

Anonymous 11/29/14 (Sat) 05:21:29 No.4196

Sounds like multiple personality disorder to me

Anonymous 11/29/14 (Sat) 10:03:51 No.4197

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>>4196
This.

>>4194
OP, i might have gotten it.
You have a pesky little problem with the way you express your emotions probably.

I had this problem with anger.
A girl i'm friend with has this problem with fear, and she might end up with DID aswell.

What do you think your problem is with?
Sadness maybe?

This happens because when you suppress your feelings, not knowing how to deal with them, you store them somewhere in your mind. At a certain point they explode, giving you a huge trauma, and possibly splitting your personality.

Do you feel like this is correct?

op 11/29/14 (Sat) 10:31:27 No.4199

>>4197
Anything that would normally be considered negative usually gets suppressed. The only way I've been letting it out is during the past year or so I've been self harming in order to ease it a bit. The rest gets put on the backburner, or ignored.

I'm nervous because what you're suggesting is beginning to sound more and more correct.

AverageGuy 11/29/14 (Sat) 12:23:13 No.4203

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>>4199
So it's true.
You know, there is a reason if i post here, OP.

I like feeding off bad feelngs and all, but that's not it.

I've been posting here to see if i could find someone like me, because in my whole life i've managed to find just one.

Now, you are in a shit situation OP.
I was the same when i was 13, but i was being followed by a psychiatrist, which i suggest you start doing.

I could give you clues on what's supposed to happen to you, i could tell your future.

But i won't.

I just have a suggestion, for now.
If shit goes down, make sure to take a diary.
It helped me more than i could ever imagine.

Anonymous 11/29/14 (Sat) 13:56:38 No.4206

>>4203
I'll purchase a book to do just that.

Thanks, man. I appreciate it. I'll post here in the future if anything happens.

AverageGuy 11/29/14 (Sat) 14:54:45 No.4207

>>4206
Goodbye friend.
Have a good life.

Anonymous 11/30/14 (Sun) 07:01:43 No.4254

As a bit of a side note, does anyone else have the derealization, out of touch with the physical world sort of experiences more strongly, or even have them triggered by being in place that's busy and full of a bit of visual overload, like a shop with mannequins or a pharmacy?

I can never concentrate on the body when I'm in a clothing store with mannequins and fully stocked shelves. Something about the environment of a shopping centre pushes me right out of my sync. The same with the pharmacy I was in today. I felt very out of touch, unable to focus on anything. Something about the way everything looked around me completely knocked me out of sync.

just curious.