Why am I so unfunctional? I seem to have no will/motivation/energy to take care of myself or do things that need to get done. I want to do things, but I don't do them, and then I get stressed out because of it. Fatigue is certainly part of it, but there is

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Anonymous 12/21/14 (Sun) 15:01:19 No.5066

Why am I so unfunctional? I seem to have no will/motivation/energy to take care of myself or do things that need to get done. I want to do things, but I don't do them, and then I get stressed out because of it. Fatigue is certainly part of it, but there is also some kind of internal resistance in me to do anything. I barely cook food or clean up my apartment. Barely even get bills paid. I have this constant 24/7 low level anxiety, and the thought of doing anything makes that anxiety worse.

Why can't I just do whatever I set out to do? I fail almost all my plans and almost any kind of project I decide to do I will fail eventually. My thoughts fly from one thing to the next, and soon I will forget what I originally set out to do. I often feel like I'm not even deciding what I do. I feel powerless in my own body. I'll do things but I don't feel like I'm really doing then, I feel detached. Anxiety in general makes me have degeneralization/depersonalization, I guess that's from PTSD but I don't know.

How can I restore control of myself? I think some of my symptoms could be interpreted as ADD symptoms. Wouldn't amphetamines just make my mind even more detached and race faster than now though? I have taken a dopaminergic drug, and it did lessen my anxiety, but it did seem to make me even more impulsive. That drug had some very mild opiod-like effects too though so that might have been why.

I think I might be addicted to the internet, but really I seem to get addicted to whatever kind of stimulation I expose myself too. If it's not internet and messageboards it will be porn, and if not that videogames, and if not that food. My mind just seems to jump onto and latch onto any kind of stimulation it can get. Somtimes I feel like one of those rats in some of those studies that get to push a button to get food, and some rats will just keep on pressing the button until they eat themselves to death. Why can't I have full control of myself? I don't want to be a victim of my environment.

Anonymous 12/22/14 (Mon) 04:22:15 No.5094

>>5066
You sound exactly like me.

Anonymous 12/22/14 (Mon) 10:21:33 No.5100

reading this thread was like reading the most depressingly accurate horoscope of all time

I want to bad to actually be able to do something with my life but every day comes and I can hardly even get out of bed or go upstairs to get food. I would kill myself if I didn't have anyone who I know cared about me but that's not true, so I feel stuck in some sort of stasis every day is the same, why am I even here?

Anonymous 12/22/14 (Mon) 14:24:16 No.5106

>>5066
You sound like me too. I was diagnosed with ADD but sometimes I doubt it. I think maybe some combination of anxiety and ADD would be better, but I don't know.

Anonymous 12/22/14 (Mon) 14:41:17 No.5107

File: 1419259277709.png (256.11 KB, 599x387, 599:387, 1411320762953.png)

I also have depersonalization and I also feel the same way. It's hard to have a lot of willpower when you're dissociated, and with anxiety (which is almost a prerequisite of dissociation), it's really desirable to just not do things and hope that life won't have to involve _you_.

But, it's possible that all of that is just wrong thinking and rationalization. Could just be that you (and me) are hedonists, and we don't know how to make tomorrow better than today. We just want out of the suffering _now_. And it's understandable. Things have to be working now in order to work tomorrow. You can't sacrifice what you don't have.

It's okay. You truly are not the only one who puts up with this unwillingness to change.

Anonymous 12/25/14 (Thu) 22:35:39 No.5224

That kinda feels like me too, like usually i just feel "empty" or "grey".
Sometimes i get sudden surge of motivation, only for it to go away as quickly as it came.
I also got ADD and sometimes it just feels like i'm doing things like a robot. As in words are coming out of my mouth and i'm saying things, but it just happens automatically.

But i also get motivation from certain videos, animes and games.
How can i know more about myself, how can i be myself?
Who i'm?

Anonymous 12/26/14 (Fri) 15:24:23 No.5246

This sounds a lot like me. It's just been marked as depression and I'm do go on therapy or antidepressants soon. I really want to know what this is!

Anonymous 12/27/14 (Sat) 06:34:36 No.5265

File: 1419662076880.jpg (58.78 KB, 392x700, 14:25, tumblr_leb5smBWyD1qdq5iq.jpg)

>be me
> I came up with a theory to why people end up like this >low serotonin levels

>Sitting at home in front of computer all day
>bad nutrition
>not enough sunlight
>avoiding interaction with people in RL
>no exercise

>yfw all these bad habits contribute to lower serotonin generation in the brain
>yfw you need to do these things to generate the required serotonin which will stimulate the brain and make you feel motivated.

>MFW I began eating food that helps generate serotonin (b6 + Tryptophane),
>MFW I actually feel like doing stuff now

Anonymous 12/27/14 (Sat) 08:25:37 No.5272

>>5265
Try taking 5-HTP. It's as close as you can get to a direct serotonin supplement.

Anonymous 12/27/14 (Sat) 16:02:47 No.5283

>>5265
The serotonin hypothesis is bullshit. Good sunlight, nutrition, and air would actually lower serotonin.

But other than that you're right.

. anon 12/29/14 (Mon) 22:44:44 No.5340

thanks for describing me

Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 16:17:34 No.5564

File: 1420388254655.jpg (240.93 KB, 500x4014, 250:2007, 1416174869863.jpg)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 16:36:09 No.5565

File: 1420389369040.jpg (369.59 KB, 1182x1600, 591:800, nixon-beach.jpg)

>>5066
>I guess that's from PTSD
You think you might have PTSD?
If so, what happened to cause it?

Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 17:09:54 No.5570

>>5265
I kinda look at that suspectfully. I am using a drug which basicly is serotonin. I also forced myself to have good nutrition,have lot of interaction with people and do sports. None of these things helped me. Actually they made my anxiety/deprasion even worse. My doctor told me avoiding stuff isnt way to solve but I have to disagree. Everytime I try to improve myself I fail horriblely. Every single time. Why should I even bother and make myself more unhappy. I prefer state of feeling nothing to state of feeling constantly shitty. Dont get me wrong I enjoy life like I enjoyed eating apple yestarday. It feels great to be alive but I wont try to make it better. I think people should just try to be happy with their current situition. Learning to enjoy small things is best thing you can do.

Anonymous 01/05/15 (Mon) 02:42:28 No.5599

Isn't taking direct serotonin supplement a bit risky ? Serotonin syndrome is pretty dangerous.

Anonymous 01/10/15 (Sat) 00:19:36 No.5804

This is me completely.

I think it is SCT (Sluggish Cognitive Tempo, which is unfortunately not in the DSM yet. It's really a shame. It's so debilitating but the research on it is limited.

I'm honestly considering killing myself if I don't resolve these issues.

Anonymous 01/10/15 (Sat) 01:02:55 No.5813

Holy shit…have you met me irl?..sounds exactly like my problem

Anonymous 01/10/15 (Sat) 19:59:31 No.5883

>>5066

Sounds like me lol.
The funny thing is sometimes I feel just awful, but then I feel like Im stepping back and laughing at the absurdity of it all even while Im still feelin atrocious. Like I feel two opposite extremes at the same time. Anyone else get that? I wonder if its dissociative but I dont think thats the right term.