Can anyone relate? Anonymous 01/02/15 (Fri) 06:09:54 No. 5469
I know seeking help on a chan board sounds like a bad idea, but honestly, I find that people are much more honest around here than anywhere else… So here goes. The last 5 ish years of my life have been hell. My mother died, My wife left me (for another guy) after being 12 years together, Due to the economy I lost 5 jobs (Some I kept no more than 2 months before seeing the company close). Through those years I had severe depression, anxiety disorders, and suicidal thoughts. I Actually tried to kill myself 4 times. And failed, mostly because I couldn't go through/bear the pain at some point. All attempts were known only to myself, family doesn't know, only my shrink and doctor, and I am pretty sure my doctor doesnt believe me since I didnt end up in a hospital. Now here I stand, still single, jobless again, for 4 months now. I don't have any income, living off the money I managed to put aside which should support me for 2-3 years, so at least money is not too much of an issue. Along the way I apparently pissed someone off and I have no idea how or when, but following some interviews some people hinted that my background check turned something very bad about me. I tried to figure out what and I can't. I had to go on medical leave at one point, because I was being harassed by a boss at work, and began having anxiety issues due to that. So it might be that my ex employer are telling my prospective employer about my medical leave. (In case you wonder I left that job, I believed sueing would definitely screw me up if I looked for work elsewhere so I shut up and left). Basically, I feel completely fucked, can't get a job, don't have much of a social life, I'm lonely, and never have felt so suicidal, yet my past failed attempts discourage me from trying again. I just lost all will to live. I can't find a fuck to give, I hate everyone, I have no passion, no interests, I'm just all out of willpower. So has anyone been through something similar? How did you get back on your feet? How did you manage to care about something again? I already tried meds in the past, I would rather not try that again as it really didn'T help. Sorry for the long ranty post. Thanks for any help, it's really appreciated.
Anonymous 01/02/15 (Fri) 10:20:45 No. 5470
Take some time for yourself. Do something you like. Fuck some hookers. Get over your depression. Then do something. No matter if you believe in it or not. Faking confidence leads to real confidence sooner or later. Do more sport, get handsome, dress well. Feed on the pleasured looks of the people that will look at you. And stop thinking about that whore.
Anonymous 01/02/15 (Fri) 10:45:58 No. 5472
>>5470 this is probably bad advice.
>>5469 I'm also fucked OP.
I was fooled into believing that an actual human of the opposite gender would ever be interested in me. When i snapped out of my delusion and realized it was a small group of people playing a cruel joke on me (this all happened over the internet, went on for 3 years) I decided to cease contact but it was too late. I was pretty much raided by a bunch of highschool kids. Every week my car tires would be fucked, got to work late and lost several jobs because of it. They've even cut my cable (literally). Things have settled down now but they still try to call or text me. I went through a phase where i was planning on killing them and my family (so that they wouldn't have to deal with hate from these peoples families), but i got passed that. I wish u could just forget about it all but unfortunately i can't. i'm still thinking of ways to get revenge or whatever. They take advantage of my mental instability, as in: they know they can just say that i'm crazy for blaming them for all the shit they did and everyone would believe them. They also have nude pictures of me so i can't go to the police, i'd just fuck myself over.
I think we are experiencing the same feelings sort of.
Anonymous 01/02/15 (Fri) 23:28:14 No. 5488
>>5470 Like I said, I have no interest in doign anything at all. I have all the time I want and I spend it sleeping and watching netflix. I just don't feel like having sex, so hookers are not a great idea. Plus I'd feel worthless for having to resort to that (no offense to those of you who do use hookers)
As for thinking about that whore, well that's behind me, it has been 5 years after all. but the fact that after 5 years I am still single is kinda depressing. I had a few short term relationships, but nothing that really worked.
>>5472 Yeah I think I know how you feel bro. I actually considered paying someone to break my abusive ex-boss's legs or something. would gladly do it myself but then I'd get caught for sure. Unfortunately as angry as I am at a lot of people, I do not believe hurting them will bring me any peace. If it did I would be wacking them with a crobar right now.
Anonymous 01/03/15 (Sat) 15:41:41 No. 5509
>>5502 >>5472 >Get over your depression>Do something to change >Be better, dress better, build self confidence And this would mean be yourself?
I was suggesting self improvement, actually.
And i do not understand how is this a bad advice.
Anonymous 01/03/15 (Sat) 18:57:42 No. 5511
>>5509 Firstly, you can't cure depression just like that.
Secondly, "doing something to change" is an extremely vague thing to say. There's a difference between positive and negative change.
And lastly, the last part actually seems like good advice to me.
Fucking hookers isn't my idea of self improvement though. If anything, it's the opposite.
Anonymous 01/03/15 (Sat) 19:04:28 No. 5512
>>5511 Ofc everyone knows the best way to get over their depression.
Do that.
And ofc i meant a positive change.
Do more sport, try to spend less time looking at a monitor, etc
All my best wishes to you, OP.
Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 06:36:17 No. 5530
>>5469 Man, sorry to hear that OP. I think where you went wrong was failing the suicide attempts and not streaming them. Do it again and succeed this time, and quit crying faggot.
ThatFuckingCynic 01/04/15 (Sun) 11:16:25 No. 5545
>>5470 >Get over your depression. Holy fuck, that's it? That's all I have to do?! THANK YOU, Anon! You are the first person to EVER think of that! Obviously you're speaking as someone with tons of experience with depression, to pose such adept advice. Here all along I thought that depression either stemmed from or perpetuated a physical abnormality in the brain, but now my vision has been corrected; it just takes doing something you like and fucking hookers. Therapists the world over are going to start shaking in their boots, there's really no need for them anymore! And it's all thanks to you.
God bless you sir!
Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 12:21:45 No. 5554
>>5545 >>5545 Yes, i have tons of experience with it.
I've been depressed for 5 years in a row and there was not a single day i weren't thinking about suicide.
If you can't snap out of it, you should start working on finding a way to do it.
Be a man.
Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 12:26:15 No. 5555
>>5545 Also, stop cherrypicking.
I gave lots of advices.
Getting over your depression was the first one only because a depressed anon will have trouble with anything it does.
But you can go ahead an do step 2 and 3 anyway.
Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 16:06:12 No. 5561
>>5554 >there was not a single day i weren't thinking about suicide. >5 years in a row And you are still alive ?
Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 17:24:43 No. 5571
>all these just be yourself posts The reason you failed to drink a nice cup of milk and relax is that you are afraid or still have some sort of hidden hope that your grill will come back to you. Since the dawn of time humans made use of alchol. I would suggest you do same . After sometime your anxiety will subdue cuss of alchol. Then you are free. Go punch someone,feel asleep outside,go cry,try to kiss a girl and get punched by her boyfriend.(these all happened to me) . To be honest feeling all these new feelings were great to me. Or just watch shitty tv shows. They are great way to kill your brain.
Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 21:21:07 No. 5579
>>5561 Well, i guess.
But something of died for sure during those years.
Whether it being hope or innocence i can not tell.
Anonymous SAGE! 01/04/15 (Sun) 21:22:10 No. 5580