/mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders

Say what you will, but thinking like this is a choice. It's a choice that makes you feel bad.

I'd say choosing not to feel bad matters. Unless you don't care if you feel bad, in which case by all means. Don't lie to yourself though, you know you don't like feeling bad. It's inherent.

I don't believe in free will. It's hard to put into words, but I guess you could say I just believe in causality. It's not saddening or freeing to me. It doesn't change anything. You are still you, and you act and think the way you're made to. You can change anything you want, but even that is set in stone. No biggie. I think it's kinda Kool.

I've thought of this for awhile, and while i don't necessarily have no drive, or wish i was never born, it is an issue i can't solve.

I wonder if life even has a point. It's utterly terrifying to think all that's built up, all that's experienced fades away, disappears without a trace, as if it never existed at all.

I ask myself quite often what the point of gaining knowledge, memories, fucking anything is, if it'll all just vanish one day. Essentially, i'll vanish, with every thought, or feeling i've had vanishing right along with me.

It scares me. I know it's absolutely childish to want things to last forever, to want this conciousness to last forever. I know i'm no different from any of you, either.

I know this is dillema is something i just have to fight through, but it seems tougher and tougher to do so the more i think about it.

>>8073
So you are afraid that you will be forgotten?
Then do something good that makes people remember you when you someday die.

>>8076
Not necessarily. The thought of being nothing scares me. The thought that after i die i lose all conciousness for all eternity. That everything i hold on to will fade.

I do care about affecting those i consider close to me, but not really the general public.

Started reading Stirner. Thanks.

>>7890
It's a stage in several life phases. If it's any consolation, it only gets worse. You start to realize that everything we do matters - to those around us and those who are ultimately affected by the decisions we do or do not make. You also realize that human greed ensures we will never achieve utopia or happiness, so long as that happiness is contingent on seeing humanity as a whole prosper - the worst part for you will be when you see that utopia is achievable, but only when one person exists as an ultimate dictator, ruling over a kingdom of no one. As long as there is one other person you rule, there will be the potential for dissent. Of course, you're not a dictator, nor do you want to be one in this type of situation, and so you next realize that even if no one would fully accept this sort of position, there are intermediaries. We are happiest when we are cannibalizing ourselves and taking advantage of others, and this causes you to hate everyone, yourself included. You wish for death, but you realize that granting it to yourself would only perpetuate the monster that is humanity, and so you force yourself to watch it every day, in the papers, on television, in the streets. You watch the world break down all around you - not all at once or even in a steady progression. There are good days, and there are bad days, but slowly, painfully, like needles sliding into your skin, you see us begin to decline. Further and further we go, and the longer humanity pulls itself from the brink, the longer it manages to keep a half-dead democracy alive, the longer you're left to bathe in an impossible kind of mental pain. Certainly you'll lose sleep, you'll always be anxious, and you'll feel pretty bad about things. You'll try to escape to nature, g where things are quieter, but you'll always have hints of that realization in your heart, and it will eat away at you forever, no matter who you talk to or how far you run.

I'm currently at the stage where I'm waiting for something catastrophic to happen - possibly a war - because it will help fulfill human nature to its fullest. Men are happiest in a state of war, because it is then that they are being truest to how they must act (as outlined above).

>>8139
There has not been a day without war since the dawn of humanity. If you mean an american war, well that's pretty much the same. Americans are really warlike, just alot more aggressive than defensive. If you mean a world war… be a little more patient. It will come, sooner ir later.

>>8088
A bit late, but thank you for this image. I've been reading Dostoevsky's The Brother's Karazamov. This image has reassured my convictions on pursuing his work further.

Also, the daoist Lao tzu has now caught my attention, as well as the study of Buddhism. Thanks!

For those apathetic or depressed everything is a means to nothing. We get up because we have to.

For others everything is a means to their own happiness.
And sadly that's all there is to it.

>>8088
If this is 'baby's first existential crisis' what are the next ones?