/mental/ - Mental Health, Illnesses and Disorders

Lots of caffeine, nicotine, Alcohol in case of "need numb mind now".

I've smoked marijuana with my mom every day for the past ten years, I have extreme paranoia about bring alone with other people.

Schizophrenia and suspected Asperger's(atleast that's what the good doctor says)

Caffeine sometimes, lots of tobacco(about 40-50 cigarettes a day)

been smoking a little under a pack of phillies a day now, cant get enough booze since freedomland wont let me

>>9871

>40-50

jesus fuck

>>9871

I'm SZA and Asperger's,so, nice to meet you.

Occasiona alcohol and various forms of cannabis, copious caffeine and nicotine. Former dissociatives, benzos, and opiates (whatever I had access to), but I got into a relationship with another polydrug user and we're helping each other a lot. I tried deliriants once and I can't understand why anyone touches that shite.

>>8408

write more pls, i have schizotypal disorder and i want to try something recreational

>>8129

Caffeine and alcohol are sometimes uses.

Anything else? No.

Sugar is ever-present, though.

>>9847

>I've smoked marijuana with my mom every day for the past ten years, I have extreme paranoia about bring alone with other people.

> It's totally harmless

> It's just a plant

> It's better than alcohol

> It's natural

>>9902

Congratulations on leaving the whirlwind, and good luck for both of you.

If you ever need some help, don't hesitate writing us

Borderline personality disorder and GAD, naturally I smoke cannabis every day, and heavily use benzodiazepines. I used to (and occasionally) do adderall, and I've tried cocaine and heroin once each. Opiates are always fun. I had a semi-recent stint with Tramadol, which had SNRI properties. That, with the occasional toke and a klonipin, was absolutely perfect for socializing and functioning. Oh yeah, and a bunch of DXM when I was 14. And I drink pretty normally.

Borderline, with prior diagnoses of Asperger syndrome, major depressive disorder, and ADHD.

I'm dependent on caffeine, and rarely go a day without at least two cups of coffee, don't know if it counts but ibuprofen pairs well with caffeine. I smoke weed almost every day, and drink real liquor whenever given the chance, and hand sanitizer occasionally.

I miss nicotine every day.

Chronic depression.

Everything I can get my hands on, up to and including heroin when I can afford it. I like shooting up, for a while I'm just warm and comfy and nothing really matters.

I hope one day I fuck up the dosage and unintentionally OD.

Bipolar II, GAD

>Xanax

>Alcohol

>Adderall

>Any opiate I can get

borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, attention deficit disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, gender dysphoria, and eating disorder not otherwise specified

TLDR; BPD, MDD, OCD, ADD, GAD, GD, EDNOS

I smoke pot daily in small amounts after work. I drink caffeinated flavoured water (Miio) daily, sometimes coffee or soda made with splenda. I drink about once a week in moderation. I take prescribed Adderall once a day in a lose dose almost every day.

I used to do a lot of things way too much.

>all these people with anxiety who somehow have the courage to buy drugs

lel

GAD, dysthymia, episodes of Major Depressive Disorder.

Daily:

Escitalopram (Lexapro)

Caffeine

Occasionally:

Phenibut

Rarely:

Booze

When I can get them:

Benzos

Opiates

>>11559

Jesus fuck this is why I hate the DSM. Procrustean stretching as fuck.

Are you making this shit up? Where you diagnosed by an undergrad student? Well, anyways you could still get all those dx's in accordance to the rules (although, I'm not sure but I think BPD and MDD rule eachother out)

One can sum it up with bipolar. One of the heavy cases, counting eating and gender disorders.

Care to tell us a history of the times when you did "a lot of things way to much"?

>>11561

College town + antianxiety meds OR be roommates with girls who fuck drug dealers

>>11571

BPD and MDD do not rule each other out, no. The OCD kind of overrules the GAD in that I was diagnosed with OCD about 6 months ago and was told that since the treatment for OCD is the same, she wasn't going to "officially" diagnose the GAD. Essentially, I have it but it's not in the paperwork because it's irrelevant to treatment.

In the paperwork, I am officially diagnosed with BPD, MDD, OCD, and ADD. The GAD was made pointless. The EDNOS and GD are both diagnoses that I have been told multiple times that I have them but in order to get them diagnosed, I would have to see specialists because the doctors I have don't deal with eating disorders or gender dysphoria. I don't have money to do that and really can't give a shit about an ED diagnosis. I have zero interest in getting treatment as I'm handling it on my own just fine. I'm undecided whether I'm going to pursue a GD diagnosis because unless I plan on having surgery or going on hormones, there's no point in spending money on that route. For now, I'm ok with what I do on my own.

The BPD diagnosis, I got when I was 16 and it was reconfirmed when I was 22. I'm 25 now and my therapist recently said she thinks that due to therapy and getting older, I'm much better than I was and probably won't fit the diagnosis if she evaluated me right now. It helps considerably that I don't feel depressed for the first time in about 10 years.

When I was 16, it was just depression and BPD. I got the MDD when I was about 21. This last year, I got diagnosed with OCD and ADD.

I'm not bipolar and the rest of the shit makes my BPD more on the internal side rather than the emotionally reactive side. More often than not, I don't feel anything. I very rarely ever feel angry and when I do, it's explosive. Pretty much all of the other symptoms fit me up until a few years ago to a tee.

>Care to tell us a history of the times when you did "a lot of things way to much"?

When I was a kid, I did things to get a legal high. Choking myself/holding my breathe and drinking cough syrup were the favourites. When I left for college, I started drinking and it almost immediately became a problem. A friend introduced me to pot and soon I was skipping class to sit in her car in the parking lot and listen to NOFX. I've been in college on and off, dropped out twice. Along the way, I abused cough medicine, pot, alcohol, hookah, and became hooked on vicodin when I fractured my leg. I dropped out of school shortly after for the first time and did some stupid shit to get vicodin. I didn't have access to anything stronger and that's a great thing. I did have access to salvia, various antidepressants, alcohol, and K2. The spice I only did a few times and that set off a psychotic episode. I lost about a week. After getting kicked out, I went back to school and smoked so, so much more pot. I snorted coke, did codeine, was choking myself/harming, drank every single day, LSD sometimes, hookah every day, and when I was too broke to get anything, I smoked nutmeg for the mostly-placebo high. I smoked cigarettes all the time and binged/purged constantly. Sometimes I felt like my chest was on fire and my blood was made of syrup, clogging my brain. I've probably had a heart attack at some point. Anyway, I ended up in the hospital and got the diagnosis of OCD which changed everything. I got the doctors I have now and the ADD diagnosis and I'm off antidepressants and anti-anxiety pills and even though I've been drinking more again, life's actually pretty good right now.

I have no idea how many times I've woke up on the floor of my bathroom after passing out there the night/day before.

>>11571

Not the anon you're responding too, but I go too far often.

I did so much coke my nose would bleed. then I would switch to other shit to keep the high going.

kept doing that for 8 months.

Got caught by the popo, got released on a technicality and I have been living the calm life since then.

But my brain can['t handle it.

More and more, i'm noticing the signs of regression.

Soon, every day I'm going to be going into psychosis.

I won't be able to work or leave my house.

Shit will get bad.

I fucking hate life but my brain won't let me kill myself.

I'm on a delusion that I'm somehow 'special' in that I'm always at the right place at the right time.

And that somehow, I will start the next American revolution. It's an ongoing problem that I can't get rid of.

Oh well, life was getting too boring anyways.

Time to spice it up a notch on the 20th.

I find weed helps me a great deal, especially with depression. Occasional use of LSD, DMT and shrooms keeps me sane and prevents me from panicking about the days getting shorter and colder.

Diagnosed Bipolar, but I don't believe it. Might be schizophrenic.

When I can, usually weed. Want to try other drugs but I feel so fucked up already in the head that I'm worried I'll go off the deep end, I had a very very potent strain once and that gave me bad hallucinations, audial and visual.

I used to be prescriped Klonopin, Geodon, Risperidone, but my living situation lead to a certain someone tearing up my prescriptions and my psychiatrist removing my file from the outpatient part of the hospital because "you stayed 3 days at a psych ward we thought you would be getting care from there" despite me telling them I still needed to see them.

Being poor means no access to good insurance, no good doctors. Sure I have free government insurance, but whats the fucking point when the only place that takes it is literally a run down medical center on the verge of bankruptcy? There are a lot of good places with high rep around where I live, but they only take the best health insurance plans for highest pay out.

If I could, I would self medicate with adderall for focus, klonopin to help me sleep, weed for the depression, and not sure what to do for the manic episodes.

>>11591

You go pretty hard.

Bipolar Here.

Uppers:

Adrafanil - Good for Wakefulness but not extra mental or work out energy. It's general use is to fix my circadian rhythm or push through a day if i stayed up an entire night.

Caffeine - Good for a temporary boost if I need to get through a long work day.

Piracetam - Keeps me nice and hypomanic with chronic use.

Oxiracetam - Good to stack with piracetam for the extra learning boost.

Choline - Necessary stack for anything in the racetam family. Works well with adrafinil too for some reason.

Panax Ginseng - Great short term booster. I use it to work out.

Gingko Biloba - Minor boost. Good to use if theres nothing else. Almost useless.

Downers:

THC: Great downer. Helps with sleep. Everything is fun when high. Doesn't keep you downed like Tranquilizers do.

Risperidone: Fantastic downer. Keeps you down and out for a good while then you still feel the calming effects for a good 48 hours. Stay on too long and you end up as a zombie though. Also, withdrawal is a bitch.

Melatonin - Good for sleep. Kind of. Mania tends to overpower melatonin though.

Kava Kava - Takes the edge off of nervous feelngs.

Others:

Multivitamin - Gotta stay healthy brah.

Reishi Mushroom - Liver repair and shit.

Milk Thistle - Liver repair on liver repair. Super good.

Saw Palmetto - Good for those boners and orgasms.

Deer Velvet - Bullshit supplement that does fuck all.

Ginger Root - Supplement/oral drug takers best friend. Gets rid of nausea.

All the things above I have with me currently. I've done all sorts of things, one of which I don't like admitting, that being synthetic cannabis. I had no idea what i was getting myself into at that point.

>>11617

Damn I'm Bipolar and you're an inspiration.

Ever do 4acoDMT? I've been experiencing a deep desire to get fucked up, really fucking fucked up, and I haven't been sleeping so I might as well make the most of the oncoming mania. Tell me some stories while I find ways to get happy fun time drugs. I'm 18 and have a fucked liver that can't accept alcohol anymore, not even wine I feel the urge to vomit if I drink.

>>11617

I don't go hard anymore. My intention is to keep this good path going as long as I can and if I get back into the light stuff too far, I might fuck it up.

That's an impressive list, very informative.

>>11619

I haven't done DMT. As far as hallucinogenics go, I've done mescaline, shrooms, and LSD. My favorite was shrooms out of the 3.

As far as stories go, I don't know what to tell you. At one point I thought I was the reincarnation of Jesus, and at another, I almost made a pledge to Satan.

Astonishingly, I'm actually a semi important person locally, small business ownership and all that, so I won't get too detailed about everything lest someone picks up on it. I don't like my cyberspace life melding with my meatspace life.

Feel free to ask about things though. I've been in 4 hospitals and started a fight club at one point. I've been planning on starting an education club. Also, I'm a mad scientist, according to those who know me better than most. Any of those points should be fine to talk about.

>>11623

You remind me of Rick from Rick and Morty.

I don't understand why so many people worship me when it comes to science and research, its like my extended family, former school, and everyone else I knew would get a hard on hearing about the stuff I was planning to do, the stuff I was already working on. Maybe its in how I act? Do you experience something similar?

And I hear you on the life melding.

Can you tell me what shrooms was like? You sound like a fun guy. If I wasn't constantly wanting to be alone and all the other shit I'd probably invite you for a mind numbing high stacking munchie spree at the local hobosexual celebrity bakery. I only go for the cannoli's once in a while. They're reality TV tier famous, wont get into details, really really really good.

>>11622

Good luck man. After I gave up on life I just can't do that. I stay deluded sometimes thinking I wont die and feeling I'll research enough to be OK, its really weird feeling this way and knowing otherwise. Can't control how I feel. Invincible almost.

Rick is one of my heroes, so its funny that you say that. As far as others' perceptions of my scientific and technological hobbies goes, I'd have to say they label me as an eccentric genius (IQ is only 138, so I'm still 2 points off) status (I fucking hate the genius title too. It makes me feel snobbish or something, like I'm implying that others couldn't think on my level). So, they think I'm smart and everything, but they don't attempt to try to understand my thoughts or what I'm working on. They just kind of leave it at "Let anon do his thing, we'll be over here." I've been hoping to bring the fun to them, but I just can't figure out how to make an igniter to light some left over gunpowder I made. I could buy one at walmart or something, but that's for pussies.

I still have to work on that stimoceiver too. I just have to make sure I get that aerogel to store the lizard parts. Also, a lizard habitat.

Shrooms: Imagine an LSD trip that feels more natural. It's almost as though you turned on something within your mind to connect to higher planes of existence. However, it's also harder to control, so if you plan on tripping alone, i recommend you get good at controlling your own thoughts and emotions via meditation and all that. The dark side of a mentally ill persons mind is something that normalfags are too moral to imagine. Shits fucked.

Also, I'd take you up on your offer, but i doubt we'll see each other outside of this place.

>>11626

Yep, love Rick, if I ever get an interdimensional portal gun I'd go wild. Interesting how you don't like feeling snobbish, I just don't care, I used to want the attention and titles but now I just don't care about anything and let people think what they want. More specifically, I don't have the energy for small talk so people think I'm an asshole now when we meet.

Can't ever expect a normal person to think about things like that. Its bad enough most of them act like children, immediately expressing how they feel at all times and believing themselves to be above all others, feeling the need to share the most trivial bullshit with "Jenny the Jizz Gobbler" next door, even though Jenny doesn't give two shits.

Well at least you're at 138, I'm testing around 120-130 but its been a little bit and I feel my cognitive skills fading for some reason. Smart enough to know how dumb I really am and how retarded everyone else is, not smart enough to do the math I need to in my head. The music in my head gets loud at times and it does prevent me from focusing so fuck me.

Thanks for the shrooms info appreciate it. What was your first acid trip like? I had a bad one. did 3 tabs at 150 mics each. Probably shoulda toned it down a bit.

As for your igniter, what are you looking for? Small controlled bursts or one big bang? If its small then why not something similar to a trigger mechanism on a firearm, with the gunpowder released in controllable intervals, assuming its in a sealed chamber to prevent it from igniting in the process.

Then again, that would be a bit complicated. I know it can be simplified.

>>11627

I'm certainly looking for one big bang. I've been so bored lately with normality that I want some thing big and almost out of control. All this dystopian murrica bullshit is pushing me over the fucking line.

My acid trip was pretty okay. I just ended up talking to myself a lot in the mirror (apparently you're not supposed to do that). I saw some lines, and listened to a lot of marvin gaye. I loved that shit. Smooth music was like velvety chocolate caressing my earlobes.

If your IQ is dropping, get off the feel good drugs for a while. Stick to nootropics for a good few months and study things you enjoy. Your brain is a muscle, treat is to booze and THC and nothing to work it out and it shrivels up. It's one of the reasons i can't do THC for too long. It turns me into a short term memory tard. Same with the tranqs.

I definitely understand the drama thing. I make it one hundred percent clear to everyone that I don't give a shit about drama. I get retorts saying im a nerd and no one wants to talk about physics, but frankly, i haven't discussed physics in ages. They're too simple minded. It blows their mind when i show them the real life matrix though. They love that shit. Kind of.

And I'd love to ignore people, but it drives me kind of mad if i go too long without social interaction. Last time that happened, I ended up locking myself in my room and writing on my walls and shit. I wanted to figure out the overall architecture of the economic, political, and religious systems (media and education and other shit too), and how they dominate and manipulate society. I figured it out for the most part too. It's a real shame it didn't make a difference when they saw illuminati shit all over my room with an unwashed anon next to it.

>>11628

I get you completely.

Going to have to call it a night, its been more than two nights without more than 3-4 hours of sleep.

I'll see if I can get my hands on nootropics, not sure if adderall will help in this case. Nice on the acid trip, if I go back to it I'll make my favorite playlist play. Haven't not talked to people long enough to almost go off the deep end since I'm forced to deal with people, but I enjoy being alone at night, its my time. I'm forced to share my room with two NEET's in a crowded apartment. Not a good situation.

I'll post again in the morning. Yeah they love the matrix shit but can't ever break free of their bubble. Its their comfort zone. They entertain foreign thoughts that might not make them feel so secure for the sake of stimulation and excitement. Soon enough freedom of speech will be trampled under trigger words and mutilated by the concept of "safe spaces". Political correctness here we come.

Take care anon. Keep being yourself, we need more you in the world. Too boring without your kind.

>>11629

Political correctness won't take over if I have anything to say about it. Life would be too soporific. Living a boring life is like being dead.

Anyway, I'm sometimes in the IRC under the name HououinKyouma. You might be able to find me there some time.