>>8364Second.
-Psychological abuse as a child
-Sexually stressful events in childhood (but it was just one, and I don't remember it, really. Might not even be what I think it was.)
-Growing up lonely and isolated (though after a certain point, this was of my own choosing.)
The two "maybes" are:
-Fantasies: This is a vague title, but is this limited to violent fantasies? Even if it is, I guess I had them, but I always rationalized them away. "I want to burn down the school! …But I mean, I'd have to do it at night so no one would get hurt. …Well I mean, unless they have night staff, I don't want to kill some random janitor I've never met."
"One day, I'm going to get back at this fucker! I'm going to track him down, murder and torture him! …Well, I mean… Then again, he's probably got grandparents and relatives completely innocent in this, and I guess harming him would harm them too by extension…" I'd say I had more violent fantasies as an adult, honestly. I was obsessed with the idea of killing rapists for a while.
-Preferring auto-erotic activities: This one's iffy too. I mean, I beat off and looked at porn a lot, and I was anti-social, and I even drew nudes of female comic book characters, but it was never a preference. I mean, I was antisocial, but I was more interested in doing it with a partner. I will say with my first girlfriend, I'd gotten used to webcam sex by then, and the sex with her was horrifically bad, so I did find myself actually preferring webcam sex. Not so after that, though.
Hard no with everything else. I love animals, I could never torment one. I was always taking in strays when I was little. I still do. Something cries out for food, help or attention I feel compelled to fix it. And I absolutely hate that feeling when an animal is afraid of me.
No bedwetting, no substance abuse,no voyeurism, no physical injuries.