Does anyone else ever feel like they are faking? I have depression and anxiety alongside avoidant personallity disorder. Even stepping outside into the back garden scares me shitless. I do literally nothing except visit my CBT therapist once a week and tak

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File: 1429020398631.jpg (98.59 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, Depression_2014_Types_10-2….jpg)

Anonymous 04/14/15 (Tue) 14:06:38 No.9150

Does anyone else ever feel like they are faking? I have depression and anxiety alongside avoidant personallity disorder. Even stepping outside into the back garden scares me shitless. I do literally nothing except visit my CBT therapist once a week and take my antidepressants each day. All I day is lie in bed and listen to music and contemplate suicide. I've been diagnosed by a GP and all, but I always have this feel that I'm faking. That I'm just lazy and making up my depression. Is this normal symptoms? Or am I actually probably just faking? It's ripping me apart mentally

Anonymous 04/14/15 (Tue) 18:29:36 No.9158

You can be in a depressive mood, what's causing it is questionable.

Today,I couldn't get up for school and slept in.I've been doing that recently. my brother told me I was fucking myself over and wondered if I was doing it intentionally.
It made me doubt myself if I was doing it subconsciously.

Anonymous 04/15/15 (Wed) 13:48:10 No.9165

File: 1429105690137.jpg (30.79 KB, 313x221, 313:221, sam.jpg)

All the fucking time.

Especially now I'm going through fucking duloxetine withdrawl. Needed off, went cold-turkey.

When I'm distracted in one way or another, it feels like I'm faking feeling shitty. When I' functional, I feel like I'm faking feeling shitty. And when I've hit the fucking bottom it makes me feel like all the functional stuff is just a fucking mask to avoid attention.

Anonymous 04/16/15 (Thu) 00:09:43 No.9170

I am a fake. I don't even know who I actually am beyond this.

Anonymous 04/16/15 (Thu) 00:27:07 No.9171

You may feel that way, but it very fucking plain that you are actually sick if all you do -all you want to do- is to lie in bed all day.

Depression isn't meant to be a constant feeling of sadness or something like that. The very lack of a drive to do anything is equally a part of it.

Anonymous 04/16/15 (Thu) 07:25:39 No.9173

>>9150
>That I'm just lazy and making up my depression.

It's my experience that most of these feelings and ideas come from others in my life rather than being authentic expressions of myself. I know that I worked my arse off for years trying to add positive experiences and people to my life. Even where I succeeded in this the moment I was alone or during lapses in conversation I'd feel cold, hollow and at times be over-come with awful thoughts.

Anonymous 05/07/15 (Thu) 12:55:45 No.9540

I do almost all the time, then I get behavior and physical symptoms that imply heavy distress and I find that I can't really control them (or if I do I'm in giant pain), so I guess it's for real and I'm just so not in touch with my feelings I don't notice I feel bad until it gets really fucking bad (I have the same thing with physical conditions so it kinda makes sense)

Anonymous 05/08/15 (Fri) 00:40:00 No.9552

I do all the time.

Sometimes I think that I read the symptoms of depression and anxiety somewhere and they're so etched in my brain that I just started to think like that. I also constantly compare myself to other people's descriptions of their experience with depression/anxiety and it feels so very different from mine. I see people talk about how they were before depression, they were so much more happier and cared about things more. But I can't remember what I was like before depression, so maybe I'm just an incredibly lazy person that can't accept that fact that I'm lazy. So I've just made this thing up and went with it so well

brains are gay

Anonymous 05/08/15 (Fri) 05:19:22 No.9556

All .The. Fucking. TIme.

diagnosed twice, still don't completely believe it at time. mood swings kind of suck when I'm off meds, and I feel a lot better able to control myself atm on meds, sill have trouble believing. Doesn't help that when I tell people what I have I either get," well everyone has that a little" or "it's fake"

Anonymous 05/08/15 (Fri) 07:42:13 No.9558

I've been diagnosed with panic disorder. In the beginning I felt extreme fatigue. I just wanted to lay in my bed. Lately I get other symptoms, (including physical).

Anonymous 05/10/15 (Sun) 01:32:08 No.9595

>>9150

All the time.

Anonymous 05/10/15 (Sun) 11:31:29 No.9609

and then i try to make myself more depressed

what am i

Anonymous 05/25/15 (Mon) 19:48:28 No.9905

Not necessarily in depression, but being the autist loser that I am, I can't help but feel every time I act like an autist, I'm just being an asshole.

Often times, i'll say something, and I'll be thinking of something else at the same time, which will cause what I say to become a jumbled mess. This usually amounts to me saying something that comes out as far more hurtful than I intend.

In the same way, people seem to believe I'm a completely different mood around them then the mood I'm actually in, which causes for negative reprecussions as well.

I guess I've just started to believe what's projected is the true thing I want to say, now. I've had relatives tell me I'm cold, or full of hate, and I'm just not sure whether they're right anymore.

Not sure if this was the right place to put this, I'm deeply sorry if it is not,

Anonymous 05/26/15 (Tue) 05:21:26 No.9919

i feel like i am tricking myself into believing in my mental illness. like i only started to have this behavior when i was first told i have the behavior

Anonymous 05/26/15 (Tue) 18:00:23 No.9923

OP, I feel like this sometimes, but it's also what my mother is telling me day in and day out, in addition to things like "you're depressed because you sleep too much"

which makes little sense, obviously.

Have you talked to your CBT therapist about it? it could help, maybe?

>>9171

this is something few people seem to understand; and it really hurts people who are dealing with depression, because people don't understand that the lack of drive/motivation to do anything is part of the problem

Anonymous 05/26/15 (Tue) 20:48:07 No.9925

>>9150

Every day. Every hour I'm around people I don't completely trust, I'm faking it. I'm faking normality, faking being neurotypical, trying not to let things show.

If you're too wierd, nobody likes you. If I'm not wierd enough, they think I'm one of them and find me out.

And if I don't indulge the disorders, I go crazy.