I was driving home from work, and it was a rough day. All this Christmas stuff, utter bullshit. I was a about half an hour from home. I popped in my favorite CD, DragonForce "Inhuman Rampage". Almost instantly I was glowing red with rage. I plowed through about 15 cars. The cops came and they nearly surrounded me! They heard me playing DragonForce and decided to back the fuck off.
I pulled up in the driveway and could almost smell the garbage my wife was cooking. She can't cook for shit. I decided to put the CD in my CD player and listened to it. I walked inside and guess what I saw! My wife! Playing the fucking Nintendo Wii! I was so angry! I walked over to and screamed "WHAT THE FUCK! THE WII FUCKING SUCKS! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT IN THE KITCHEN?!" I punched her in her fucking jaw and broke it.
I had to take my wife to the doctor. I had beaten her severely. She had bruises up and down her body, and her jaw was hanging loosely from her mouth. She could barely talk. I had stopped listening to DragonForce a while ago, and my wife agreed to say that she fell in front of a bus to the doctor. We got to the doctors office, and he eyed me funny. He said she would have to be put in the ICU, Intensive Care Unit. He said she would have to be here for 2 months at most, while they try to find the bus that ran her over. I said shyly "How much will it cost." He turned around in his shitty office chair and said, "Take a look at the bill." Then he handed it to me. It was 90,000 dollars. I was astounded at how much it cost! I told him, "Doctor, I need a little time to myself." He replied, "Okay." I immediately headed for the bathroom. I splashed some cold water on my face, and looked myself in the mirror. I said, "Oh, my, God." I decided that I needed something to calm my nerves. I took out my iFail, and played Sonic Firestorm, by DragonForce, Fury of the storm came on first. Instantly I was rejuvenated! I started jumping around, not in a gay way kind of like a metal concert way, the bathroom. I started saying things like "Yeah!" "Fuck Yeah!" "Smashing through the boundaries with unicorns over the fire and flames from the fury of the storm."
At this point I was screaming. A male nurse came in and said, "What the fuck are you doing? Are you even a patient? You need tPost too long. Click here to view the full text.