>>78961
These things encompass my thoughts far too much. I think I might type them out someday along with the details about you, just to get it out of my system, because I can't afford to think about this place, or that place, or the past when I have to concentrate on work but in short: I was afraid of you getting doxed, attacked or something unpleasant back then.
Even if I wasn't an active poster all the time and didn't make myself known I felt really connected to /v/MM for the fact that it was a big part of my life for 3+ years. At times I got bored, paid less or more attention, but it was always good. Always. and NO ONE ruined it. So get that out of your head.
3 whole years and some more… it strangely coincided with my breakdown. One of the thoughts that haunted me was that nothing lasts forever. When loved ones died or shit around me started to fall. When I felt I was afraid of the passing of time and life in general. MM was always there. All the songs to make me happy, all the pictures to make me smile. Every Monday. Even if I wasn't, and without me, it still is. I see it now at /v/, it will be okay. No need for us to worry about our contribution. It's bigger than us. Same as Miku and the fandom is.
I don't know when it ingrained itself so deeply, even though I've had many other sources for the fandom.
For a while now I've been thinking that maybe it's time for me to let go. Not like I haven't tried
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Weebhaters buying their first Figure out of the Miku game mania, Seabeams glitter in OC of the Yukarifag post, people feeling like on a sunny beach while in the darkness of their room. All those moments will be lost in time…like tears, in, rain. Time, to die.