/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

Your eyes peel open like the snapping of a twig. A blur of unfamiliar colors and senses overwhelm you to the point of sheer jarring confusion.

This feels wrong, the temperature is wrong, the air is dirty, this bed is lumpy and uncomfortable, the walls are barren and tattered from previous inhabitants.

You're in a dimly lit room, fresh dust shining from the sunlight creaking through the disheveled curtains. From what you surmise, this is some sort of an apartment room.

Wait, what's going on? What were you just doing? Weren't you somewhere else?

You trace back your most recent memory, but it's all too fuzzy. You were talking with some police lady, she gave you something, then you were escorted back to— somewhere, with somebody—

It's too vague. None of it explains why you're in this room.

-Knock knock knock-

You hear a clattering noise coming from the apartment door, which frightens you at first. Who knows where you are right now? Nobody, right? You escaped your home, stumbled throughout a weird perverted technological city, and.. what else—? Is that the owner of this apartment knocking on the door, perhaps? You don't want to get up, out of fear of what the answer to that question might bring.

It appears you've been fading in and out of reality and losing track of time, this must be what a narcoleptic must go through on a daily basis. The rough of the matter is, you're in a foreign room, and the only potential answer to why you're suddenly in bed is knocking on that door.

You get up-

-then immediately crumble over and fall to the floor. Your face brushes against dust bunnies and a particularly foul smelling odor. It feels gross. Why aren't your legs working right? Your upper arms and thighs feel like they're weight down with anvils.

—You did do more walking yesterday around town than just about your entire life at the castle. You're not flabby, but your body's not used to all this physical demands yet.

If Beli, your middle vampire sister, saw you right now, she'd laugh at how weak and feeble you must look right about now.

After finding something to latch onto, you find yourself back on your feet and answer the door in the nick of time.

There's a child at the door. Childish face, pouty lips, short stature. Couldn't be older than 10— maybe 11-?

…With fox ears. Twitching fox ears protruding from her disheveled hair. And an array of fluffy fox tails behind her clothing— each one dyed a different color. Are those rea— oh, right, she must be a monmusa.

Wait a second… There's a cigarette in the child's hand.

"Aren't you a little too young to be smoking that?"

"Oh relax, I always smoke after I rub one in every morning-!"

"—Excuse me?"

"Mornin' to you too, tall, blonde, and handsome~" The fox girl speaks in a nasty raspy tone, "I trust there ain't any complaints with the housing arrangement?"

…She talks like she's in her later 40's, like a chain smoker.

"Complaints—?"

The fox girl takes a puff of her cigarette, "Well, you needed a place to stay for free the first month, right? I trust you're satisfied with yer accommodation?"

"—Accommoda- wait, I live here? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm having trouble recalling bits and pieces of yesterday, or today, or any day for that matter. Who are you, and where am I?"

"Ah hah, so you're a drug user? That explains the lack of cash."

"No, I'm afraid you're mistaken, I've never partook in narcotics. I've just been experiencing some.. memory loss as of late, accompanied by surreal hallucinations."

"—"

"Not brought on by drugs."

"—"

"But by magic."

"—"

"—I uh.. think."

"Alright, sure, whatever you say kid. Listen, I'm just here to remind you that rent is due the first of the month. That's a couple weeks from now, plenty of time to earn this month, next month, and deposit. I'll take it easy on you and say about two grand outta cover it. After that, it'll be a few hundred a month— no questions asked, as always."

The fox girl speaks in a shady and evasive manner, occasionally stopping to cough once or twice.

"Two grand? As in 2,000 dollars?"

"Hey, you needed a place to stay, and I needed a new occupant. But normally, you PAY the first month's rent plus a deposit so I know you're serious. You didn't have money, so here you are."

"Um, what happens if I don't have that money by the end of the month?"

"I kick you out on your ass and take whatever possessions you have."

"If that is how it normally works, that seems fair enough."

"I'm a fair lady to cute humans," the fox girl shows off her sultry yet conniving smile, "Especially cute little bunnies like you."

"Well, thank you for reminding me about what the terms are, but I don't think I've gotten your name yet, Miss…?"

"Selma. You bad with names, boy? We JUST met like yesterday."

"I just explained I'm having a memory problem."

"We all have memory problems here and there, it's called ADHD."

"Perhaps I'm not explaining this well enough— could you do me a favor and walk me through how I came to be here? How we met yesterday, perhaps?"

"Oh sure," Selma taps her cigarette as she gives you a coy look with her unusually shaped pupils, "So you came in around 8, drenched in sweat and topless. You were horny, nipples puckered, looking for the next victim of your sexual rampage escapade. You acted so sweet and gentle, strided over to my table with a come-hither look and laid down the small talk. Making me feel so alone and needful, you whispered - 'Hey baby, do you live on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise cocks.' I was naturally taken aback by your abrasive and perverted demeanor, but it's been about 100 years since anyone's come onto me that hard. So I thought, what the hell, I'd humor you. You were cute and looked like a good lay— so you proceeded to bend me over the counter, mash my panties in your hand, and took a good long whiff-"

Hearing such talk come from somebody who looks like a child is simply too jarring for you to humor any further.

"None of that actually happened, did it?"

"Hey, you're the one with memory problems. How do you know if I'm lying or not, sonny boy?"

"I'm not attracted to children, for one."

"Oho?" Selma's ears twitch as her fluffy tails begin to wag in annoyance, "So I'm a child, am I? I'm over 600 years old, I'll have you know— you're saying I'm not up to your 'perfect' human standards?"

"Uh, no, I'm saying you seem like a perfectly classy and beautiful young lady. I wouldn't tarnish your being with such foul amusement, as you deserve so much better!"

Selma raises an eyebrow coyly, "Don't I?"

"Oh um.. C..Certainly."

There's something discomforting about this fox girl, she's got the body of a child, mind of a perverted old cretin, and the voice of a raspy chain smoker. She's making you uneasy just talking with her.

"Well, hey, you're right. I'm a saint, aren't I? Taking you in all free, all willy nilly, I should be commended, yes?"

"You should be, absolutely. Thank you for your kindness, Selma."

"Maybe you should show your gratitude— mayhaps a sexy outfit next time I visit? That skivvy you were wearing when you came here, you should wear that ALL OF THE TIME."

"—"

"I'm pulling your chain, sonny. You've just got this look of childish wonderment, I just wanna smother you with my tails. If I had to describe it, I'd call it a glint of 'allocentric benevolence'. Just looking at your face gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling down in my nether regions, I just can't help but WANNA talk about pussies and cocks and fucking around you. Your reaction amuses me greatly."

"So this is my apartment then?"

"Sure is, comes with a bed, electricity, AND running water. Not a bad deal, am I right?"

"I suppose so… I don't mean to sound ungrateful, you see, I'm from a sheltered family, and so I'm used to having such luxuries being as common as the air we breathe."

"First time out on your own?"

"Yeah."

"Good, this'll be your first chance to shed that nancy boy image and get some real world experience in you. Life is short, so it's important you take risks and live a little, right? Also, don't worry too greatly about making next month's payment, I'm flexible. If you don't have anything monetary to give me— you can always pay me a different way."

"A different way?"

"With favors."

"May I ask what these favors endeavor?"

"Are you fan of pies? Making pies in particular?"

"You want me to pay you in pies?"

"Yes. A pie of the creamy variety."

"I've never actually cooked before-"

"Don't worry, it'll be a hands on experience, Selma'll be gentle and teach you just how to perfect it-" The fox girl flicks her cigarette across the outside hall, "I LOVE that you're not sure what I'm talking about. But listen, money would be preferred, but hey, if you were to stop on by my apartment and assist in making such a 'culinary treat' happen, I might cut your housing costs in half. Food for thought, young one-"

"This sounds like you're soliciting me for something unscrupulous."

"Hey now, I didn't say anything of that nature, now did I? We're just having a nice adult conversation between the two of us. Something for you to mull over if you can't make rent, for whatever reason~"

"—"

"Don't look so serious all the time."

"I fear that may be the only way I'll retain my sanity around this city and it's inhabitants."

"Hey, you do you, sonny boy. I'm gonna have a manicure, if you need anything, my room number is 104."

"Noted."

You close the door and soak in the information you've just chugged like a mental binge drink. Your last memory was talking with a female cop, with light brown skin and white hair, unusual red eyes with glowing white centers. You'd be able to pick her out from a crowd if you ever see her again. What was her name? You scramble to remember but alas, you barely remember your own name at the moment.

-Knock knock knock-

You open the door once again and greet Selma for the second time.

"Hey kid, you seemed like you were about to go back to sleep, so, sorry for this but— I ALMOST forgot. Somebody came by and left you a note, apparently."

…What? Somebody left you a message?

"Excuse me? A note? For ME? But nobody should know where I am."

"And yet, here we are."

Selma stands on her tippy toes, the cigarette twitching around her lips as she struggles to hand you the sticky note with her little girly arms.

The mysterious note reads - 'Meet me at 8:00, it is a matter of grave importance'

…

"How do you know this is for me?"

"What do you mean?"

"There's no name, or location, or anything specific at all."

"They told me it was for the blonde human with the slutty skivvy-"

"They? Who are 'they'? What did 'they' look like?"

"Iunno, I honestly wasn't paying attention."

"Was it a MALE or FEMALE?"

"I mean, I don't necessarily believe I'm qualified enough to assign a binary gender to a person-"

"Please just— Nevermind. Is there anything at all you can tell me about the person who gave you this note?"

"—They were taller than me."

"Alright, well, thank you. I appreciate everything, Selma, please have a wonderful day."

You close the door and examine the note in far greater detail.

WHO the hell can this possibly be from? With your lapse of memory, which you still haven't figured out how that came to be, it could be from ANYBODY you've met yesterday. Or perhaps somebody you have no recollection of meeting. The message also doesn't state WHERE to meet them.

"Arrrgh.. 8:00 AM or PM? Tonight, this afternoon, or this morning? You don't understand-"

-Knock knock knock-

You open the door yet again to the fox girl landlord.

"Yo. Guess what. I got a second message."

"A second– already? That quickly? When did you get the first? Did you see who left it?"

"You're flying too many by me there, kiddo, slow down. The first note came an hour ago, this one was on the front counter. It's nice and fresh for ya-"

The second note reads - 'At Cafe Gaylord, 8:00 PM, today. I'm terribly sorry, I'm poor at leaving detailed messages, I hope this answers the earlier confusion. I've never actually left somebody a sticky note before— at first I thought-' You turn the note around as the handwriting trails around the back, '-I would've started the message out like any normal conversation, with the first note being the start. But then I realized how one sided the conversation would be and that probably wouldn't have been cool.'

>[X] Pinch her ass twicefold, thricefold, nine lives ass pinch works

My heart of hearts tells me this is the right choice.

>>147622

[X] Catch her off kilter and kiss Shoggoth

Sorry, but I gotta go with this. I mean, we REALLY missed her. Possibly missed her enough to show a tad of mercy to her butt by not pinching it right away.

>>147622

>[x] Pinch her ass twicefold, thricefold, nine lives ass pinch works

To make up for lost time, even if it's only been a day or two.

>>147668

We're not her master anymore

[x] kiss her while pinchong her ass

Sorry, fixing shit. But I can't fix everything, so fuck it.

>>147675

>[X] Tell her the only way you'll believe she's who you think she is, is by pinching her ass

Whoo, new thread! One step closer to the mating arena . . .

>>147675

>[x] Immediately perform a series of acrobatic maneuvers and find yourself on her backside, with which you may pinch her ass

and once she's distracted by the ass pinching

>[x] Catch her off kilter and kiss Shoggoth

[X] Immediately perform a series of acrobatic maneuvers and find yourself on her backside, with which you may pinch her ass

[X] Catch her off kilter and kiss Shoggoth

>>147675

>[X] Immediately perform a series of acrobatic maneuvers and find yourself on her backside, with which you may pinch her ass

then while she's suprised

>[X] Catch her off kilter and kiss Shoggoth

>>147696

>>147700

>>147706

Was there ever any other option?

>>147675

[X] Immediately shake her gooey body around and watch her clothes ripple

Followed by

[X] Catch her off kilter and kiss Shoggoth

>>147745

I second this, though it needs at least a small amount of ass-pinching

>>147675

>[X] Immediately perform a series of acrobatic maneuvers and find yourself on her backside, with which you may pinch her ass

>[X] Pinch her ass twicefold, thricefold, nine lives ass pinch works

and then.

KISS THE DAMN SHOGGY AND ACTIVATE THE BIZZARE SLIME KONAMI CODE BY ACCIDENT

>>147902

FRENCH STYLE

>>147904

I imagine it more like a Bugs Bunny type of kiss that sucks all the air out of her.

>>147902

No on the butt.

>>147902

Cheek is fine. Matches the character.

>>147668

I'm more interested in what she will think if we plant one in her. This world needs more Shoggy.

>>147902

What >>147930 said, it's going on her ass. Does her skin taste like grape jelly?

>>147998

Are you sure? I mean, that's still nice and shows our appreciation of her and all, but she already knows we find her hot. Isn't it about time she felt cute for once instead?

It's… her. It's really her. Gods, it's only been a few days, but it already feels like it's been months since you've left the castle. To be frank, seeing Shoggoth outside the usual interior decor is absolutely jarring.

Your maid. Your personal maid.

But it could be a trick, there's only way way to tell if she's the genuine article.

Shoggoth seems confused by the hesitation clearly overwhelming your face, "—Master?"

!

You slide past the doorway, do a kick flip off the wall behind the maid slime, and land on the floor behind her as your legs painfully ache from being exerted. You proficiently kneel with one knee outstretched and pinch Shoggoth's behind through her living maid uniform.

"—" Shoggoth turns to her side and glances downward at you, clearly confused as to what you're up to.

"…It really is you, isn't it, Shoggoth-!?"

You never forget the feeling of an ass, especially one as flobby and mooshy as Shoggy's.

"You certainly haven't lost your touch, master," the creature smirks as she's grown accustomed to your weird habits, "You'd be hard pressed to find one such as I, master — I'm the only Shoggoth in the world, after all. Albeit, even harder pressed to find one so readily able to put up with such rampant sexual harassment."

"—"

"My, that childish pinch, that ebullient disheveled shirt, that compassionate glint in your eyes. You're ever the master I remember, contrary to what I've been led to believe-"

!-!

You stand up and face the maid on eye level, then without missing a beat, you immediately plant a kiss on Shoggoth so hard it takes her breath (she doesn't actually breathe) away. The creature's eyes widen in absolute bewilderment, color rushing inside that dark abyss that lies within.

"Hu-" The Lovecraftian creature stutters, the tentacles rippling through her maid outfit begin to gyrate in a panic, her usual cold tone vanishes for all but a brief moment, and in it's place, a rosey red panic—

"MMmmm Chu~!"

"—"

You reel back, oozey residue on your lips, with a satisfied expression, "Shoggoth, how I missed you! It's feels like I've been reunited with a best friend I've lost for years!"

"—" Shoggoth remains completely still, everything around her animated maid uniform is currently frozen.

"Uh.. Shoggoth?"

"—" The monster maid's eyes begin to take the shape of spirals, "Waaah…"

You believe you may have just broke her.

"Shoggoth!"

Upon realizing what she's still not moving, you shake the semi-slime woman about, her body jiggling from the force. Shoggoth's cold and domineering demeanor returns to her after a few moments and revitalizes her. She politely enters your apartment, tugs you inside, and closes the door promptly behind her.

"—Master."

"Yes?"

"Did you just waste your first kiss on me?"

—First kiss? Wait, shit, that WAS your first kiss. But how could you NOT react like that—? You've lived through a stressful and extremely painful few days. Perhaps you're not yourself, or maybe you're exactly who you pretend not to be.

"I wouldn't consider it a waste, after all, it's the only way I could express my joy at meeting you once again."

"Y..Yes, I can tell you're quite happy to see me again. I myself, am exhilarated. But— Master Slade, I am your servant. And you are my superior. Masters shouldn't express such openness with their subordinates so-"

"It was a spur of the moment thing, Shoggoth, I'm sorry for catching you off guard."

"I don't believe you fully understand, allow me to put it into perspective for you. —If you were to grope my left breast RIGHT at this very second, I would be both mentally and physically prepared. If you were to grab a handful of my butt and rub to your heart's content, I wouldn't be surprised nor disgusted. If you… were to whip out your human penis in front of me and commanded I should perform unspeakable actions upon your member, I wouldn't be taken asunder. Because I took the form of a maid, and I understand maids are an object of numerous fetishes to humans."

"T-that's taking it a bit far, don't you think?"

Shoggoth's cold tone cracks as she speaks in an unusual voice, "But KISSING your servant!? Master, atleast allow me forewarning next time, I damned near died of embarrassment!"

"How is that any worse than the things you've just mentioned… I'm really not sure how to follow your logic, Shoggoth— Oh, and besides, I'm not your master anymore, I've left the castle."

"As have I."

"You HAVE?!"

"Well, master, I wouldn't be here before you now if I hadn't," Shoggoth remarks in a dry and sarcastic tone.

"Well yeah, I guess that would make sense— But why would you throw away your job?"

"My job? Master, I work for you for free."

"Y-You do?"

"Remember, I was born beneath the castle's reaches, I used to be a blood curdling demonspawn that reveled in the burning abyss of madness."

"Now you're a maid."

"Now I'm a maid."

"That's.. quite the career change."

"I solely became a maid because a certain human child suddenly sprung up inside the walls of a cursed vampiric castle, and was in desperate need of protection and raising. Not behavior befitting an otherwordly spawn, I grant you— but master, you were adorable as a child."

"I'm sorry to have burdened you so."

The left side of Shoggoth's succulent dark lips tugs upwards— creating a sinister smirk the likes of which you don't think you'll be forgetting anytime soon, "Don't be, from what I can tell, the 'Hikaru Genji Plan' is a success."

"The what plan?"

"Nothing important, I assure you, master."

There's a certain cheekiness in Shoggoth's tone, as if she's accomplished something she's spent years in pursuit of and is now reveling in it.

"Well, your acquittal is all the more reason why it shouldn't matter. I'm no longer your lord, and you're no longer the family maid. So what need is there for you to refer to me as 'master'?"

"Because-" Shoggoth glances around the horrible mess that is your cheap apartment room, "—You definitely still need me, I doubt you even have eating utensils or plates for that matter."

"Uh, well.. I haven't gone shopping yet. I'm sorta flat broke."

"You left in poor condition, I see— well then," Shoggoth places her hand on your shoulder, "Let's not tarry any longer, I'm quite interested to hear what your side of things is."

"My side of things?"

"For leaving, Death-kun's unexplained disappearance, for why Madam Christy locked herself in her room and has refused to come out saying she quote/unquote 'murdered' you. I've sought you for answers, as your sisters will supply me with none."

"How did you… find me? Let alone believe I was still alive?"

"We do.. get television at the castle. Master, do not tell me, you did not think of that?"

"What does television have to do with-"

"Did you not seriously know nearly all the maids on staff watch Kingkaizer? Each one has a certain human that cheer for, and occasionally touch themselves to when things get spicy. Kingkaizer is essentially a husbando program for lonely single monster girls."

"They are aware of Idolkaizer and Kingkaizer? But why do they watch it? Don't they understand that working at that castle marks them as FERAL's?"

"…It does?"

"Yes it does, the 'vampire hunters' that try to kill my sisters aren't real hunters at all. They're Kaizers."

"—" Shoggoth looks as though a truth bomb has just blown her face away, "But that's.. never been televised before."

As tempting as getting it on with Shoggoth is, gotta be practical.

>[X] Participate in a quick Kaizer mission (+Points) (Current points: 15)

The sooner we win, the sooner we can free our sisters and enjoy a peaceful life banging them and Shoggoth,

>[x] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

Being broke is probably an issue.

>>148084

>[] Participate in a quick Kaizer mission (+Points) (Current points: 15)

Fucking her is tempting, but we're saving all that for the mating arena.

>>148084

>[x] Sleep in until 8:00PM with Shoggoth (Stabilize libido) (Current libido: Blue Balls)

and i'll be damned if we dont cuddle with her while resting

>>148084

[x] Participate in a quick kaizer mission

Added shit.

>>148114

>Watching for potential waifus

WHY WOULD YOU NEED TO LOOK FOR WAIFU WHEN THERE'S A SWISS ARMY WAIFU RIGHT THERE?!

>>148102

In light of this new information, I change my vote to

>[X] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

We desperately need money, especially if this will be a long battle. And spending more time with Shoggoth is a bonus.

>>148114

[] Go out for a walk, get to know the city better

I want Shoggoth to walk with us, though. Might be best for her to change her maid outfit into something different for the time being, though, so as to not stand out too oddly.

>>148114

>[X] Watch Idolkaizer on the TV and observe potential waifus

Need to check out the competition and see which one we should try seeing in the mating ring. Yes I'm pushing for my fetish here, sorry.

[X] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

We need money more than anything else right now. What will happen if we have nowhere to stay for cheap?

>>148114

>[x] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

>[x] Sleep in until 8:00PM with Shoggoth (Stabilize libido) (Current libido: Blue Balls)

>>148220

It's honest work for honest pay, the demons need their semen.

>>148114

>>148223

>[x] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

>[x] Sleep in until 8:00PM with Shoggoth (Stabilize libido) (Current libido: Blue Balls)

This, relieving some of the built up tension while making money AND spending time with Shoggoth seems like the best idea. As she said that most of the maids at the castle watch Kingkaizer, she probably has some info on the other participants, or could probably get some from the other maids when she returns to the castle. Like for example, who's ripe for the picking or who would make good allies etc.

I wonder who Shoggy has a secret crush on in the Kaiser tournament, maybe we should ask her

>>148548

Mary is best girl.

>>148559

Completely.

Aaah! The first live bromont thread I find!

Uuu, I want to participate, but I need to catch up with all the Bizarre Slime archive first! >w<

I really like what I've read so far! Please, don't vanish while I finish catching up! The last one I've read thus far is: "Apologize to Karen for missing her birthday."

Advice, pease??

Also, what ended up happening with Rebecca? Did the jewish elf girl finally get to enjoy a sandwich by now, or…?

>>149166

You only need to read the two previous threads in this thread series to understand it. Though all the previous ones are great. You can read Crystal while going through the archives.

>Knife-ear

Rebeccafag, is that you?

>>149166

Where's the archive now? All the links I try just take me to dead ends.

>>149191

I see. I'll do that, then. Thank you

I'm not sure yet about what I think about Becky. On one hand, the ways Roy finds to make her life hell are amusing. On the other hand… when it goes a bit too far, I feel bad for her ;w; I don't even know what am I supposed to feel!

>>149207

I think someone has archived the whole thing in a Zip file, somewhere. I think it's missing the thumbnails, though. You should be able to find it in the Steam group that is linked through the Bizarre Slime Tumblr.

>>149207

http://www.mediafire.com/download/zb8qo5vwyellzb8/Bromont+Collection.rar

It's missing the pastebins and a few of the shorter series like the bartender and the NEET Christmas story, but that's the bulk of it.

>>149166

She died of breast cancer.

>>149277

Awww. I saw it coming. Hopefully she's at a better place now.

>>149367

There is no better place for elves. They just get put on a boat and sent into the ocean to die. Like elderly eskimos.

>>149429

But isn't the devil supposed to the charming and likeable? That doesn't sound like an elf.

>>149443

The Elf goes about making up to the people for her previous sins against them. She begins her career as the 'benefactor' of mankind. Since her new benevolence has a practical foundation, that the left hand should not know what the right hand giveth; no, whether she likes it or not, she must reconcile herself to letting as many people as possible know how deeply she feels the sufferings of the masses and all the sacrifices that she himself is making to combat them.

Was there any excrement, any shamelessness in any form, above all in cultural life, in which at least one Elf would not have been involved? As soon as one even carefully cut into such an abscess, one found, like maggots in a decaying body often blinded by the sudden light, a knife ear.

>>149459

You make a convincing argument. Truly knife ears are something something bane of humanity.

>>149728

Fuck, I forgot to change "he" to "she."

>>148114

>[X] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

>[x] Sleep in until 8:00PM with Shoggoth (Stabilize libido) (Current libido: Blue Balls)

>>148114

>[x] Sleep in until 8:00PM (Stabilize mind) (Current Status: Average)

I don't want these time lapses to get any longer or for Slade to lose his mind due to「Kill the Star」

>>149729

And jew to elf.

I'm assuming

>[X] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

>[x] Sleep in until 8:00PM with Shoggoth (Stabilize libido) (Current libido: Blue Balls)

Has won?

>>149831

Apparently so. Boy, I sure didn't expect us to get to this point so quickly.

>>149831

So when do all the elves start getting tormented through Rebecca-style shenanigans?

>>149861

When Slade gets over his PTSD.

You gave me an idea though. If you used 「Kill the Star」 on an elf, would they turn into regular humans or just die like Uncle Death-kun?

>>149864

I suppose it depends on whether or not elves are nothing but corruption?

Which begs the question, if he used 「Kill the Star」on a bad guy, would it make them a good guy? Or if he used it on say- Skeleton Jelly, would it have made Skeleton Jelly a good guy?

>>149831

Is it bad that I think Neon Katt (The skater farting rainbows) will fit in amazingly to this world?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLu3_LKG_A8

>>149886

I don't know, I don't watch RWBY. Seems like another colorful collection of random autism /co/ would latch onto.

>>149908

You can dislike something without insulting it, Bromont; Jeez.

>>149909

People have opinions man. If he were any other anonymous poster you would've called him a faggot or ignored him

If Shoggoth were to hypothetically help you '+Money' and 'Stabilize libido' simultaneously, that would involve filling condoms with her assistance. Which option would you prefer?

[] Handjob

[] Thighjob

[] Boobjob

[] Blowjob

[] Buttjob

[] Onahole made from her body

[] With a vacuum cleaner

[] Whispering nasty things into your ear as you sleep thus resulting in a nocturnal emission

[] Konami Code

>>149970

>[X] Onahole made from her body

I was tempted to give a combined answer of vacuum cleaner and Konami Code, but I'd be worried about some sort of Gradius-like result occurring.

>>149970

>[X] Onahole made from her body

>>149952

I would have said that with anyone really, I'm not an aggressive person by nature :(

>>149970

>[x] Boobjob

and

>[x] Blowjob

>>149970

>[X] Konami Code

All these scrubs who don't want 30 extra filled condoms.

>>149970

>[X] Konami Code

and

>[X] Blowjob

If we make enough money to pay next month's rent, we should pay the rent now so that we don't need to worry about it later.

>>150003

Approximately 3 per day.

>>150003

Dont we get a Little bonus for being good looking and a virgin?

>>150011

You dont get to imply that anyone is a faggot, faggot cat.

>>150003

We should get a legit job instead of being a jizz factory. Then all the Shoggoth milking can be for fun.

>>150006

Showing our face during this could be bad for us. I mean, it's still a black market sale, for whatever reason.

The hell IS the reason, anyway? Other than danukis lobbying for it to remain illegal on purpose so that they can control the entire market through organized criminal strength.

>>150003

So… We need to fill up 40 condoms? We can work really hard and use the Konami code. *nod*

>[X] Onahole made from her body

>[X] Konami Code

>[X] Konami Code

>[X] Konami Code

>>150022

Pretty sure that it is legal.

>>150021

>>150023

Take your gay fantasies somewhere else

>>150027

>Pretty sure that it is legal.

If it's legal, then why'd Bromont say it was on the black market?

>>150027

Didnt read that, my mistake.

>>150030

I think he meant it's just socially frowned upon, not something you would set up a kiosk at the mall for.

>>150031

I probably dont need to point it out, but, meant to reply to >>150030

>>150028

I'm not saying we shouldn't sell our sperm, just saying it shouldn't become a career.

>>150036

This. Instead of seriously selling our sperm every day, we should make only today's sale and then think about how we can use the money gained to make more money.

>>149970

>[x] all of the above

If we got to do it three times a day why not be creative about it?

>>150039

The Goddesses are clearly not doing anywhere near enough to help Madness outside of Kaizer competition and may possibly be elf sympathizers. This is why we need to become a god.

>>150040

I personally don't think we should actually do this every day. Only to help get us started.

>>150043

Good point.

Maybe we should do it by ourselves then. Make the maid wait, and watch or something.

>>150044

I wouldn't be surprised if Shoggoth sells the sperm to herself, then gives us the money.

>>150045

I'm okay with this. Edging, and teasing is hot as fuck, especially on maids.

>>150055

I just realized… Have we asked what she would want to do to help?

Like the difference between "It's my job" and "I actually wanna do this"

[X] Konami Code

All that other shit is gay. Konami Kodo is the only way to go

>>149970

>[x] Konami Code

It's the "see what it does" choice.

>>149970

>[X] Boobjob

>>149970

>[X] Onahole made from her body

We don't realize it is lewd. We are just following her instructions to make money.

>>150111

Dammit. Didn't sage.

>>150111

>>150112

Shit. Thats also a good fetish. "Boy gets used by domineering woman without realising it. Later gets addicted to it.

>>149970

[] Onahole made from her body

[] Buttjob

>>150189

Best maid.

>>150189

wait a sec, isn't it a little late at night for you, Bromonto? It's like 5pm here in Aus

>>150189

>There are little glowing demon eyes layered across her maid uniform

holy shit i just noticed all the extra eyes on her

HOW DID IT TAKE ME THIS LONG TO NOTICE ALL THE EYES ON THE ARTWORK

>>150216

Oh damn, I didn't even notice them until you said so…

>>150217

>>150216

I just didn't think of them as eyes until now.

>>150036

>>150037

I'd assume our main source of income would be from Kaizer assignments when we actually get rolling, but it wouldn't hurt to have a stockpile of sperm incase we run short on money, or incase we find some expensive accessory we want to buy for ourselves.

Or for Shoggoth.

>>150028

Would stockpiling sperm in a freezer be a viable backup plan, or is there something wrong with frozen sperm? Maybe the quality would drop if it's stored for too long, or maybe monster girls just prefer the taste of fresh semen.

>>148114

>[X] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

>[X] Sleep in until 8:00PM with Shoggoth (Stabilize libido)

>>149970

>[X] Onahole made from her body

>>150480

Did I bump? Sorry, my internet's been shitty lately and my last post was screwy.

>>150533

You could supply an entire Baskin Robbins with those massive milk baps.

>>150538

Yuri is best Yuki-Onna

>>150555

I dunno, I liked Bromont's christmas cake yuki-onna best.

>>150563

It's a tough call. Tsundere troll reverse-trap Vs scumbag ronery Christmas Cake with self-esteem issues. They're both top tier for very different reasons.

>>150574

I think my favorite Yuki-story from you was when we decided to teach Yuri's mother a lesson by putting it in her ass on christmas.

Gold.

>>150574

Obsessive archiver here.

I'd saved it once but then I had 3 computer deaths back to back. Unfortunately, moe died before I could save it again. I also lost the "take your monster daughter trick-or-treating" one, the bartender one, Fanki Janki, and now all the pastebins.

>>150581

Fanki Janki

https://archive.is/rfUAm

https://archive.is/Rqtst

I've got the pastebins saved somewhere on my hard-drive. If I can find them, I'll reupload them.

>>150583

Thank you kindly!

>>149970

>[X] Whispering nasty things into your ear as you sleep thus resulting in a nocturnal emission

Why has almost no one picked this? It's fucking hilarious.

>>150608

BECAUSE IT'S NOT EFFICIENT

>>150608

>>150608

Maybe only because it was done in a certain way back in Super Bizarre Slime.

>>150625

Was it Ossla or the ninja that did that? I forget.

>>150634

Er, was Ossla the name of the dullahan? If so, yes, she did it to Zeke as a form of revenge for something.

>>150639

Ossla was the dragon. You're right though, it was the dullahan. Totally forgot about her. Strange since dollar hams are my top 5 favorite monmusu.

>>150652

Mafuya was our nigga. Does the Mafuburger clan exist in the new universe?

>>150659

Those elves are just asking for some xenocide.

>>150659

But, surely some of their cores must be intact in some form somewhere or elsewhere.

Bromont, you've written more in the last week than I have the past 3 months. How do you consistently produce so much material? I'm at the point where every page I write feels like trying to squeeze one more dollop of toothpaste out of a nearly empty tube.

>>150817

Eat more fiber, try oats for breakfast.

>>150822

I don't know if squats and oats will help.

>>150189

We should totally get around to teasing her sensitive body.

>>150859

I think [X] Konami code is winning

>>150931

So how does that work? Grab his dick like a joystick and move it up up down down left right left right press left and right ball slightly and giving the shaft a single stroke, and this somehow makes him cum literal gallons?

>>150978

Violet's rune magic worked by picturing a controller in your head. I imagine it's like that but with Shoggoth poon.

>>150989

Only she's a mysterious chaotic being, so in this scenario it's like a Madcatz controller. Without the general glitchiness that would imply, of course, since Shoggoth is more competent than that.

>>151311

Yeah, but Shoggoth is a good maid and would hook us up to better fighting games than that.

Damned flood.

>>151312

Darkstalkers 3 then

>>152093

What character would she play as when using his joydick?

>[X] Spend time with Shoggoth in the apartment (+Money)

>[X] Sleep in until 8:00PM with Shoggoth (Stabilize libido)

After taking a moment to ponder, you realize how poor your condition is by the constant stabbing pain in your limbs. Taking the wiser approach, you decide to stay in and relax until the meeting time approaches with this mystery figure whom has left you a this giant stack of sticky notes— provided you know where are you are at the moment in relation to how close Cafe Gaylord would be in proximity.

"Where am I, Shoggoth?"

"You're in the city of Madness, master."

"Yes, I'm aware I'm inside the city, but where at in approximation to the Cafe?"

"Southern part of town, in a slum known as the 'Cancer' sect. It's the part of the older town Madness began as, the humble beginnings of a congregation of monsters and humans living side-by-side. Cafe Gaylord would be toward the east, near a high-school called 'Funksteady'," Shoggoth explains in a dry monotone voice with little enthusiasm involved, "In relation to where we are, Master, it would be but a twenty minute walk. If you intend to meet this mystery person, it would be wise to leave a half hour early to survey the meeting place."

"What for? If they wanted me dead, they wouldn't have sent me a string of messages and surely murdered me where I slept. Though— unlikely considering I'm unkillable."

"While the Grim Reaper's Chroma you have inside you does make you formidable, last I checked, you're still an inexperienced human with no physical augmentations and little understanding of the outside world. Kaizers spend day after day fighting with one another and killing FERAL's, it would be wise not to underestimate them in your current state. Likewise, FERAL's, as bizarre as they appear, also live under extreme pressure of being hunted and naturally have adapted to self defense against Kaizers."

"While that may be, I have one thing they do not."

"And that is?"

"Ambition."

"Ambition?"

"Or perhaps delusions of grandeur, I might have them mixed about."

"It sounds like the only concrete reason you're out here is to save your sisters, you should perhaps concentrate on that."

"Say I win Kingkaizer and my sisters are freed from their constant peril. What's to say the Goddesses are not two faced in nature? What's to say the Goddess whom grants me this favor will be in power the next Kaizer show? If the one who loses then wins the next competition, what's binding them to withhold the previous Goddesses judgement? They're two supposed opposing forces."

"Such a thing has not happened yet, to my knowledge, master."

"Perhaps it's my sheltered upbringing, perhaps it's the misgivings I've experienced, but I've always aired on the side of caution and sure victory. If there's a chance, no matter how small, that my sisters are to be fell at the fault of a megalomaniacal deity, I will always approach alternatives with open arms."

"While your logic is sound, master, you need to be certain not to lose yourself to suspicion and hearsay. The quickest way to alienate yourself is to betray the trust of another."

"Damn it, Shoggoth, that's not what I me-"

!

You step forward towards the otherwordly maid and feel your leg give out. You accidentally fall face first into Shoggoth's embrace, nearly pushing the creature to the ground with you.

The monster girl's emotionless face flashes with a vexing jolt, "Master?"

"You're as comfortable as ever, Shoggy. Like a walking memory foam pad."

"—" Shoggoth stares at you with her usual stoic expression, "It appears you'll need to be bedridden for the remainder of the day, master."

"Listen— Even if Christie tried to turn me into a vampire and my uncle tried to take away my soul, I still have not stopped loving them and trusting them. It hurts all the more that I haven't, and it hurts knowing I'm dominated by feelings instead of logic. But I cannot continue to be a whimpering stupid child whom wastes away in a castle because of the wrongdoings of a dead authoritarian. I want more out of life, and the only way to get that is to find it myself."

The monster maid lets out a smile of delight as she begins to rub your head as she would dote a little brother, "You don't have to do EVERYTHING yourself, even if you wish to be totally independent. There are still plenty whom love you, even if they would be remiss in their support."

"It's why, no matter how horrific my deaths become, I'll still keep move forward."

"Such strength of character, master, I'm moved—" Shoggoth points to you with a semi-serious expression, "—You speak of ambition, master. There is something you should know, as it might alleviate worries."

"…Something I should know-? Like what?"

Shoggoth brushes her cold semi-liquid finger against the side of your ear, "While you bear the likeness of her lordship, the Countess, you were also blessed with another abnormal feature befitting the vampire hunter's family. On your ears rests a birthmark, in the form of three individual moles that form a perfect line."

"Three moles on my ears?"

"It's said to be a representation of the devils own luck. Perhaps fortune will shine brightest for you, should you seek it?" Shoggoth's lips curl into an earnest smile as she winks at you, "Could it explain how I was able to locate you, I ponder~?"

You've never noticed you had a birthmark on your ears before, though you never actually take a look at them. Your personal well being was always attended to by someone else, now that you're out, maybe you should examine yourself more thoroughly-

"Wait- How DID you find me, Shoggy?"

"You left a trail around town."

"D..Did I? Darn, I thought I was being sneaky."

"There aren't many humans that look like you, master. Long blonde hair and yellow eyes tend to stick out."

"Because such features are extravagant and unconventional?"

"No, it's actually quite tame by ridiculously pastel colored anime standards."

"…Oh."

"Yep."

"So I stick out then? How should I fit into crowds? Should I change my appearance, perhaps by cutting my hair-"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Shoggoth shakes you around violently as she bursts out in a strange display of emotion, "NO HAIRCUTS ARE PERMITTED!"

"Wh-" You're taken aback by the creature's sudden fixation, "Why not?"

"Oh um…" Shoggoth helps you to your bed and struggles to come up with a response, "Long hair on males is often attributed to heroism and nobility— well, in your case, anyway. And you have such lovely hair, it would be a shame to mistreat it."

"It's hair, Shoggoth, it's not like it's an appendage."

The monster meido waggles her finger from side to side, "Don't let a Kejourou hear you say that."

"What's a Kah..joe.. How do you pronounce that?"

"It's a succubus with extremely long hair, hair they can manipulate into motion like ones own arms and legs."

"—That's a strange sounding monster girl."

"You'll never know what you'll find around the corner, master. It's important you familiarize yourself with the monster girl compendium. Just be certain to avoid cunnilingus with one, it's a death trap for humans."

"—Hold on, you're saying I stick out like a sore thumb around town? Well then, what about you?"

"–Me, master?" Shoggoth doesn't seem to understand your worries, "Whatever do you mean?"

"Well yes, you're walking around the city in a maid outfit; do you not think that's going to raise some red flags?"

"So you're saying I should change my outfit when I'm outside?"

"Yes, to something that's less suspicious!"

"Understood."

Shoggoth grabs a hold of her the creaturely abomination she calls a uniform and rips it off like a cheap sticker. Her bloodless pale skinned skin catches you off guard as she stands before you partially naked, with a lacy oily black bra covering her breasts and pantyhose with a polyester-like shine covers her legs down to her— well, lack of feet, since her feet is still a mass of protoplasmic tentacles.

"Must you do this right in front of me?"

"Yes."

The iridescent black slime from her feet region creeps up the monster's body, forming a complex array of nacreous clothing before your eyes, molding and crafting like a fine art piece. The first article clothing that forms is around her neck, a sailor-style collar with a demonic eye inside the tie region. Following that, a Japanese school girl uniform forms around her body, complete with a miniskirt possessing multiple eyes floating on the surface.

Shoggoth has turned from a maid fetish to a school girl fetish in less than a minute.

"—" You raise an eyebrow with complete uncertainly audible in your voice, "That's… better?"

"How's this look, master? Shall I attempt to elevate my vocal tone to a higher pitch as well?"

"Shoggoth, not to sound displeased, but you look like a hentai character from a cheap tentacle rape animation."

"I AM the tentacle rape creature, master," Shoggoth swerves her black corrupted hands in front of her face, "Plot twist!"

>>153551

I've been following your stuff since Roy Rondo's story Bromont.

You're still amazing as always.

>>153556

Her lifted skirt thing looks like a derpy face.

_

After Shoggoth tucks you into bed and the lights are turned off, you feel a slight unease. As you lay in bed attempting to rest, Shoggoth is casually sitting next to you on a box of junk, mindlessly watching over you as she plays with her new school girl outfit.

"…Shoggoth?"

"Hmm?"

"It's hard to sleep when you're staring at me."

"Would you like me to leave then, master?"

"Well, no…"

"Good, I wouldn't even if you asked me to," Shoggoth quickly changes the subject, "Not to insult you, master, but your apartment is severely lacking in every facet of a well adjusted livelihood; not to mention insufficient sanitation."

"I just moved in, and I don't exactly have a great deal of money…"

"Money shouldn't prove too great an obstacle for you, master. You're a perfectly healthy human being."

"Well, I'm going to owe the owner of this apartment 2000 dollars next month— how exactly am I going to raise that much in two weeks?"

"Sell your cum."

If you were drinking water right now, you'd probably have spat it up, "Excuse me?"

Shoggoth speaks in a jesting monotone manner, "You cum— semen, master. I'm talking about the sperm that resides inside your testicles. It's what comes out at the climax of sexual intercourse and inseminates a woman's womb-"

"Stop that! I know what you're talking about, but are you implying I should sell my body?"

"Not your body, just your cum. Monster girls make up the majority of this city, master, and monster girls have a certain affinity to what is known as 'white gold'. Succubi in particular are affected by this man shortage, and seek alternate means of acquiring human essence. If you were to bottle your sperm and sell it on the black market, you'd make a fair amount."

"T..That's out of the question."

"—How do you intend to pay rent, then, master?"

You can feel yourself growing red faced, "A job will do just fine!"

"No unskilled job is going to pay you 2000 dollars in a couple weeks. That's just the way of the world, you need to approach this situation with utmost diligence and foresight."

>>153579

Let me guess: the elves are the reason why men are still using condoms instead of male birth control pills, even in the future?

>>153588

This is an even more heartbreaking answer than I had expected.

>>149166

The best thing that could happen to an elf happened to her.

She died.

>>153696

I see. Call me advocate for the knife eared devil, but I still feel kinda bad for her.

Didn't she have an Alraune friend? I wonder how she took it. Argh, I need to read and find out, but so little time to do so! D :

>>153768

Anon, c'mon.

This is an imageboard.

You can choose from any face in the WHOLE WORLD to express how you feel, and what do you use? A simple emoticon.

_________

On the opposite side of Madness, in a simple human apartment complex that lays within a building shaped like a giant neon tortoise, there lies a teenaged human boy. Not just any human, mind you, but a human with a stunning resemblance to a man many called 'Roy Rondo'.

A human woman with long auburn hair and a strong alcoholic odor frompts into the boy's room with a rhythmic tatter. An older looking human woman, with a cross shaped scar on her eye, and slight hints of eye baggage.

She nudges the boy gently, then once more with a harsh push, gradually increasing the exertion until she's nearly pushing him out of bed.

"Mom, it's like 7'o'clock."

"Son, it's like, 'school'."

"—" The eighteen year old scuffles up from his bedsheets and stares deeply into the woman's sullen eyes.

"—" The woman stares right back at him, unflinching in her slightly inebriated dominance.

The boy raises his middle finger to her.

The mother in turn, raises her middle finger to the boy.

The two remain stern in their flipping off contest, until finally, the woman presses her middle finger into her thumb and flicks the boy's nose.

"Fine, fuck, I'll get up, you old scraggly bitch."

"Hurry up and eat breakfast, I won't have you retarding yourself due to malnutrition."

The boy sluggishly follows his mother into the kitchen, where a shitty pair of burnt toast and scrambled eggs with egg shells still in the yolk await. As the boy sits down, he notices a cross dressing transsexual that resembles a Capcom character hobbling out of his mother's room and hurrying out the front door of the apartment.

"Mom, who the hell was that?"

"—" The woman looks up from across the table as she read her virtual newspaper, "…I wanna say 'Roxy'? Rhonda? Regina…? I know it started with a 'R', fuck I was hammered last night."

"Why was that person in our house— in YOUR room?"

"You probably shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answers to."

"Fair enough."

The boy hurries to his room after breakfast, slips on a stylish navy blue and orange shirt over a white skivvy with argyle patterns. He sloppily slips on a pair of tattered jeans one leg at a time, then adjusts a brand new pair of laser skate shoes with heart-shaped pimp air pumps.

"These shoes are ill as fuck," the boy mentions out loud to nobody in particular.

Finally, he reaches for a baseball cap. A baseball cap that's color has faded from a once vibrant red to a sun burnt orange. It's a baseball cap with character, and the boy's most priced possession.

Because it belonged to his father.

"Mom, I'm leaving."

The boy's mother cheerfully waves at him, "Good fucking luck at school, dumbass!"

And he waves back in a jocular fashion, "Try to shut your legs every once in awhile!"

This boy's name is Rudy Rondo, Athena's number one champion. Should he win Kingkaizer, he will beseech the goddess for one wish, to bring his father back.

___

As Rudy heads to the Highschool known as 'Funksteady', a fabulous looking street gang approaches him from behind.

However, this is not a typical Madness street gang, as it's comprised a great deal of human men. Oriental men. Madness's own version of the Yakuza.

In front of this street gang, walks a man wearing an eyepatch around his left eye with a 'nuclear waste' symbol embedded inside it. He's wearing a translucent skivvy that shows off the numerous tattoos that layer his body, and a pair of shiny polished chromed slacks. His rotten yellow teeth match his visible eye, shaped like that of a violent golden predator's.

The man cat calls the boy from afar, "Yo Rudy! You're walking like a little girl, all dainty and cute like. What's the hurry? Leave your tampons at home?"

The boy turns around to face the Yakuza member with a dissatisfied expression, "Oh great, this shit again."

"What'd you say, fuckface?" The man takes out a knife and extends it to near machete-length, "Could you repeat that? Slower, in a clearer tone? Because it sounded like you said you want your ass kicked by me, yet -again-."

"Jiro, we've had this discussion every goddamn day, and not ONCE have you managed to come out on top. Why do you possibly think today is going to be any different?"

"My victory is preordained from the very heavens themselves! This morning, my Alpha-Bits cereal spelled out your name, then mine, then it became clear you were to be beaten by yours truly!"

"You eat Alpha-Bits cereal for breakfast? Somehow, that explains so much. Tell me, did you run out of Lucky Charms or Fruit Loops?"

"Hiroko!" Jiro calls out to the foot-stabbed Yakuza as he spasms about on the cement, "M-My sword! T..Take my sword!"

"B-BOSS!"

"Hiroko! I believe in you! You're the strongest member here, your victory was preordained by the heavens! T..Take my blade, and finish what I could not! Bring victory and honor to our clan and finally… FINALLY beat that shitty little BRAT!"

"BOOOOOSSSS!"

"HIROKOOOOO!"

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

"HIROOOOOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jiro tosses his famed 'Dragon Pacifier' blade to his blade savvy subordinate. Hiroko then immediately fumbles the blade and accidentally plunges it into his opposite foot.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh whoops, sorry," Jiro blunders out as he slips into unconsciousness.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The Yakuza member yells out in pain as both feet are pinned in place by blade.

!

Before Rudy decides to punch him down and out for the count, certain being conscience would only bring him greater harm.

The skinny Yakuza with the twirly mustache cackles as Rudy approaches him in his rageful conquest, "Fool. I'm sure to win because my speed is superior! Behold!"

The mustache'd Yakuza member begins to teleport around the street like a magician's disappearing act, until he accidentally pulls a hamstring muscle and stumbles across the asphalt clumsily.

"Ah well, I tried."

He promptly gets elbow'd in the forehead with a holy 'KABOOM' sound effect and knocked out solid.

________

Later, at Funksteady, a cyberpunk school that allows both humans and monster girls to intermingle and learn together without fear or discrimination.

Rudy enters homeroom fifteen minutes late covered in dust and a few splotches of someone else's blood. To which a scholarly busty Scylla teacher stops him at the classroom's entrance with a stern look of disapproval apparent in her octopus eyes.

"Rudy Rondo, this is the thirteenth time THIS MONTH you've been late to class. Do you not set your alarm clock correctly?"

Rudy's previous rage and rude behavior all but vanishes from sight, "No mam, I was just afraid of entering this classroom."

"Afraid? Whatever for?"

"Ah, well, it's kinda embarrassing. You see, I've had a crush on you for some time, and I know you're a teacher and unable to reciprocate my love for you. So you see, I was afraid, afraid of how I feel for you!"

"You fed me that very same line yesterday."

"Did I? Perhaps I'm so in love I'm unable to think properly. That's a thing that does occur, you know."

"Trick me once, shame on you. Trick me a dozen or so more times, shame on me. Invite me on a date to a fancy restaurant, and well— shame on me for arming you with things that could get me fired. Now go take your seat."

"But of course, madam. Might I say that masterful shade of mascara brings out the color in your eyes. So vibrant my heart feels like it's walking on fire crackers just glancing at you."

The Scylla wraps the end of her tentacle around her finger coyly, "Ohoho, you charmer."

Rudy takes a seat between a gawking human girl and a dandere rabbit girl. The human glances at Rudy with a lopsided frown.

"Fight with Jiro again, huh, Rudes?"

"I pray he gets the point this time. I don't think he understands how somebody without Rune Chroma cannot stand up to one with. He gets his bitch ass whooped every single time, he might have brain damage by this point."

The human girl wears a black head bandanna that matches her short black hair, "Ah huh— So you diddled the teacher, didn't you?"

"Indeed I did, Dani."

"Wow, you're on a regular quest to fuck'em all, aren't you?"

"Is that jealousy I'm hearing?"

"That's disgust," Dani explains while making a plane with her hands, "Man whores are generally gross on principle."

"Hah, fear not, little Dani. The only reason I don't avert my charm your way— well, I'd hate to meet the man who dares flirt with Violet Geminia's daughter. You'll probably be a virgin well into your 40's."

"Better than ruining your life with alimony payments and skipping out on kid's birthdays," the girl casually retorts, uninterested in the boy's assumptions.

"R..Rudy," the were-rabbit sitting next to the boy speaks in a silent and gentle voice, "Does that mean we're not boyfriend and girlfriend anymore?"

Rudy gets down on one knee and genuflects before the were-rabbit, "Of course not, my love. I am yours eternally, even if I may share my heart with others, it is you whom I will always treasure the most!"

"Ah… Rudy! I can't stop loving you-!"

"And I you, my dear," Rudy turns to the human girl and scoffs, "Don't you wish someone adored you like that, little lady?"

"Like I wish for hemorrhoids."

"Rudy Rondo… I am willing to overlook your unhonorable discretion if you wish to seek penance. However, this is not the nature of this call. It has come to my attention that a man has come forth and joined Kingkaizer— a man whom his very existence is somewhat of a mystery to me. A man whom arrived from the 'Tomato Coast', goes by the name of 'The Thin Blonde Duke', and bares a striking resemblance to a fallen enemy of the Gods."

The screen emits an image of a young man with long blonde hair, yellow eyes encroached in a set of black bags possessed by those whom are plagued with stress and sleep deprivation, and a particularly handsome face with pale skin.

"Looks like your typical evil dickwad, bet he talks in an cockney English accent."

"I wish you to locate this man, question this man's origins, and if deemed a threat, capture this man posthaste— approach him as if he were a FERAL himself."

"W— Whoa now," Rudy waves his hands in front of him like a spaz, "You want me to capture a human being? —Jeez buddy, the hell did you do to piss off a Goddess?"

"Proceed with caution, as this man has been known to throw a great white shark at his adversaries— as seen here, in fact."

"Wait, what?"

The image on the street switches to a hyper-detailed cut of the man throwing a plastic knife at a monster which somehow turns transforms into a great white shark mid-streak and rips the creature apart. The caption '360 No Scoped' with faux explosions and comical sound effects edited in upon the slow motion replay.

Athena breaks her serious tone for a brief moment and skydives into a high pitched squeal, "Was that not fucking grunge as shit?"

"Whoa, that was metal."

Athena speaks in a serious and unwieldy tone, "As Goddess of this city, an omnipotent being of virtue and knowledge, I decree that shit is gracious and ill as heavenly fuck."

Rudy raises his fist with his pointer and pinky fingers extended, "Sick."

The screen flashes back to the shadowy outline of Athena standing before an unusual gaming arcade machine with the name 'Polybius', she turns to the camera and points directly at Rudy.

"Rudy Rondo, I have glimpsed into a world opposite our own, using a power beyond your mortal understanding. What I have seen transpire in that world, will occur in our own with 99% certainty— but I cannot put to rest the possibility that 1% divergence poses. I will use you as a measurement, worry not of failure, but of disappointing my expectations. Find this man, interrogate him, and capture him if he shows one ounce of disobedience."

"—How many points am I getting for this one?"

"Surely now you are questioning payment, despite Aki explaining to you that this is a prerecorded message."

"Am I that obvious…?"

"I will remind you that you have broken my trust and tarnished my teachings several times— not only that, but has sullied my presence with your base and tawdry… 'pick-up lines'. Payment will be my forgiveness, of which you will prove to me you are worthy."

"Fuckin' cheapskate. Atleast flash me a nipple or something."

"Despite my celestial clairvoyance, I cannot locate this man myself— which I'm sure amuses you. But I -am- aware of something that will not, for you see, I HAVE had this trouble before— your father was one such man immune to clairvoyance."

"…" Rudy's face loses it's jokester charm and reverts into a grimace.

"I'm sure that detail has sparked your interest. I have but one video saved from my precognitive desktop recording software that I may or may not have downloaded off Pirate Bay. Take a close look and observe any details that may hint his location."

The screen flashes to a video of the blonde man laying in bed, a condom haphazardly wrapped around his dong, and a oily black monster maid thing pinching his nipples.

Everybody in the classroom is now focused on the scene occurring in the Goddess's clairvoyant vision, and watching with open mouths.

"MASTER, I CANNOT INPUT THE CODE IF YOU WILL NOT LIE STILL!"

"SHOGGOTH YOU'RE TICKLING ME, I CAN'T STOP!"

"UP UP, DOWN DOWN, LEF-"

"Pfffft."

"MASTER! PLEASE! CONTAIN YOURSELF!"

"Hahaha, gods, I can't stop, please, I don't need your help filling a condom to begin with-! This is UNNECESSARY!"

"MASTER, YOU JUST TOLD ME YOU HAVE -NEVER- MASTURBATED BEFORE!"

"WHAT DOES PINCHING MY NIPPLES HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!? I'M ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MASTURBATION, SHOGGOTH-!"

"DAMN IT MASTER, THE KONAMI CODE WORKS FOR EVERYTHING! IT WILL SURELY WORK FOR YOUR ERECTION!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE KONAMI CODE IS?!"

"UP UP, DOWN DOWN, LEFT RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT, B, A, AND-!"

The man's condom flies off his penis as a torrent of semen blasts from his urethra.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!?"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The television screen goes black and vanishes as Aki reels back.

"…Uh… That was the end of the transmission…"

Rudy doesn't move from his chair, he just continues to stare into the black emptiness of what he just witnessed, eyes shuttering in incomprehension. The classroom seems to have silenced itself.

"—BOY, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST BRING TO SCHOOL!?" The black cyclops yells out from the front of the class, still in the process of introducing the new kid.

"I didn't know that was what was going down today. I guess I don't know what to expect anymore."

Another long and awkward silence.

"Huh. That was… interesting, I think?" Dani breaks the silence and leans towards Rudy, "Judging by the poor decor, it looks like an old apartment building in the Cancer sect. That would probably be your best bet, I guess?"

"That video was for my eyes only-" Rudy immediately snaps back to reality and turns to his classmate, "Dani, that's brilliant! I wasn't paying the least bit of attention to their shitty apartment room, but an apartment that cheap could only belong to the shitty part of town. That makes a massive amount of sense now that you've mentioned it. I'd kiss you right now if I didn't know your mother could get away with murder."

"Yeah, I don't wanna catch whatever form of twisted demon herpes you got swapping spit with those succubus twins from Home Ec. Keep your hands to yourself, thanks."

"The Thin Blonde Duke, eh? Just looking at that fucker's pompous face makes me wanna smash it… Anyone whom mistreats his maid for trying to perform the Konami code on his nipples like that surely must be scum of the highest order. He better not piss me off, or he'll learn why I'm number one around these parts."

"—" Aki the fairy remains perfectly still before Rudy, hoping to catch his attention.

"You're still here?" Rudy sighs annoyingly at the fairy, "Ah right, you're supposed to spoil Bluecaps so they grant you good luck, right-"

"-No, you're supposed to treat them with respect so they warn you of looming danger."

"All right all right, I guess you did a good job delivering your message. You want some kind of reward?"

"—If you're offering."

"How much?"

"I want…" Aki ponders for a bit before concluding with sharp determination, "A crown covered in chocolate shielding a sugary golden inside that dances upon the palette of my tongue and fills me with cheer~!"

"—So a peanut butter cup?"

"…Yes."

"Granted."

Aki narrows her eyes and purses her lips in victoriously determined facial gesture, "Best accidental voyeur video showing ever."

>>154154

Let's not.

We're gonna befriend the fuck out of him, and teach him his goddess is nothing but a absolute bitch.

>>154165

This, completely.

>>154165

This seems like the better choice.

We are already strong and have a lot of growth potential, we can still steal someone elses power

It would be more valuable to have an ally

>>154214

>Supported by some guy whose ID is beef

I swear each waking moment of my life it feels like my luck aura has been meme magic'd into existence.

>>154355

Pia will always be the cutest girl of the year, all years.

That said, she makes a 'not this shit again face' every time she hears her niece act like a chuunibyou.

Wait a sec. I just realized, to literally everyone else we're the villan trying to destroy their way of life

>>154373

Who said anything about destroying ways of life?

We are just going to destroy their deities.

Sure, some people might not like that, but they will forgive us if we prove ourselves to be a worthy god with good deeds, like say, erradicating the elven race.

>>154379

We're not even totally sure if we ARE going to destroy them yet. We're at least going to talk things over first.

>>154379

The gods are the ones keeping order in the city, Athena is the one who keeps monster girls from raping men, and Nephis is the one keeping the monsters sexually satisfied. Without them who knows what will happen

>>154370

>That said, she makes a 'not this shit again face' every time she hears her niece act like a chuunibyou.

You're acting as if her making that face wouldn't be cute.

>>154373

Well.

You are your mother's son.

>>154397

Yes, but we're also our father's son, meaning we're also the one to drive the jews vampires from the temple castle with a whip whip, in everyone's eyes. However, this hints at a future crucifixion for us.

I've noticed something significant thus far. Rudy's last name is Rondo, so Roy DID get married to his mother. But, he and his mom live alone together. And Pia, given that she's still a Titania in this, means that she didn't leave her fountain, right? In that case, it's starting to seem that, in this universe, Roy and all the members of his harem never lived together and he had multiple homes he would swap between each day, or he and his harem lived at the fountain with Pia until Roy died, and then things fell apart and most of them moved out. But at that point, wouldn't their children have gotten used to living at the fountain? It would have annoyed them to move, perhaps.

Either that or Bromont just hasn't thought that far ahead yet, but as all of his past stories have shown, he absolutely DOES think ahead, he doesn't take as much of an Araki-like "make things up as I go along" approach as things first seem. Or at least that approach hasn't been taken since the days of Necktie.

>>154778

>Pia being a Titania means she had nowhere else to go but back to the Great Fairy Fountain.

Does this mean she never took off the ring, but still went with Roy, and ruled from Roy's home in some way or another, or that I'm misinterpreting things and being a Titania is more of an entirely genetic thing here?

>>154787

Genetic thing.

>>154798

I'm wondering if she'll still be insecure about her breast size in this universe despite being a Titania, but please leave that as a surprise instead of spoiling me yet.

>>154798

Wait, wait a damned second. Does the ring STILL cause a growth even when the fairy is a Titania? Was she the Biggoron of Great Fairies in this universe?

>>154811

But, in that case, since she's still eaten normal-sized waffles at mini size, that implies she ALWAYS eats giant waffles in this universe.

>>154812

I think that's the point

>>154812

>order giant waffle, claiming it's for giant size

>get waffle, shrink down to tiny size

>live in waffle world, swim in syrup seas, life is perfect

>>154897

>life is perfect

Except that your best/only friend/lover is dead because of some stupid popularity contest.

The woman's ghostly skin drips with saliva, her face plastered with crackling spiraling eyes filled with endless hunger and greed befit her everlasting grin. That's a… 'Mimic'? A Mimic inside the hood of a car? Are they not creatures that hide inside treasure chests?

An electric lance in equal length to that of the lizardman's extends within that miserable mimic creature's grasp, as she aims it directly at the first car. The two are on a crash course with one another!?

You remark with widened eyes and increasing interest, "Ferrari… Jousting?"

!

"FIRST WE CRACK THE SHELL!"

The Mimic cackles out as the tip of her electrical lance pierces straight through the window of the opposing driver's car and breaks right through into the passenger's side. The lizardman is caught through the chest and expelled from the ongoing car battle as a chunk of the vehicle vanishes along with her.

"THEN WE SCRAMBLE THE YOLK INSIDE!"

The lizardman rolls along the ground at a near fatal velocity until she crashes into a pile of metal trash cans. The Mimic-o-bile swerves around, forming three perfectly circular tire tracks as it spins in a carefully timed 360 degree spin. The create then pops from the car once again and gloats like a cocky sore winner.

"Too slow! You're too slow! Don't you understand—? Don't you? You have to go FAST, stupiiiiiiiiid! Serves you right! Using an inferior car for nostalgia sake alone! Bwahaha, Nephis and Athena can kiss my pastely butt! You can tell the lot of those cunts to huff my exhaust and gas themselves." The mimic laughs at in a growl, "I -AM- the ultimate HUNK magnet! Boys like fast toys, and yours is but a cheap imitation not fit to lick the tar off my tires! Ah, speaking of which-"

The mimic poking out from the car's hood glances your way with a grin, you notice her tires slowly turning in your general direction.

"Oh, you've noticed I've been standing here. Why hello there, would you be a FERAL, Miss-?"

"Shoooosh~" The mimic makings a silencing manner with her lips, "You're a pretty human, so words aren't needed for what's gonna happen next~"

"You mean, you're going to surrender, turn yourself over to the authorities, and repent for the life you've just taken?"

The mimic's face changes into an annoyed expression of faux confusion, "What? The hell ya on about? I'm talking about RAPIN' ya, you dense bastard! Are you stupiiiiiiiiiiiii~d?"

"Why would you do such a thing?"

"Why-? What do you mean 'why'? It's because I'm horny and you're asking for it. Standing there like a confused slut, gettin' hard watching my ride perform— just asking for a good time. I'll have you know I'm the winner here, and I decide what I want and whom will foot the bill. Might make right, and as a winner, I've proven myself the mightiest. You are my spoils, you and every human whom lives inside this city. I won't stop until I've picked up each and every one of you and made you my personal property~"

"—That's obnoxiously incorrect."

"What about that is wrong? From my perspective, it's all right, and life is ALL about perspective! Think about it, the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"That's not a great way to sell your philosophy."

"Hey~ Hey~ Let me tell you, that you haven't LIVED until you've experienced my seat pussy! Be sure to buckle in place with my vibrating seat belt, and get your balls tickled with my highly advanced air conditioning. I'm a little low on juice, so I'll need you to creampie my fuel tank until it's overfilling~!"

"Unfortunately, I have a weight limit. Anything over a ton is right out."

The mimic's eyes winces as if caught by surprise, "Are you… Are you calling me fat…?"

"Ah. Well. That's— You're not 'overweight', you're just…" You struggle to reword it, "Easier to see."

"—" The Ferrari Mimic growls as she ominously leers closer toward you, the tires creeping on you at an alarming rate, "Tell me, human, do you like games?"

"—?"

"Because we're in the middle of playing a game right now, human."

"And what game would that be?"

"The rape game!"

"I don't wish to play this game with you."

"Good! That's the spirit!"

As the unknown woman steps forward, the flames die down, and you're face to face with a new Idolkaizer.

—Whom is not actually wearing all that much.

"-Huh?!"

You feel the tip of your skin starting to heat up in proximity of the woman's overwhelming extravagance, as she takes on step before you, a wave of anxiety and insecurity hits you like a ton of bricks. Her face— her BODY?! You've never met somebody like this before, her beauty is enough to make your body melt like liquescent puddy.

Standing a few inches above you, is a vaguely muscular woman with an abnormal pinkish skin tone— She's wearing a sexy silver string bikini that barely covers her nipples and vaginal area. There's a palish camisole/spats tanline combo exposed due to her lack of clothing, the whiteness of which compliments the rich texture of her peeking areola… which are poking out of her skimpy clothing. A long sleek ponytail with asymmetrical greyish mauve bangs, a lavish darkish purple tone that takes your breathe away. Her bangs do a disservice of trying to hide those glowing embers she calls eyes, a hot pink glowing shell that wraps around a slit lizard-like pupil. Her velvety gaze fills you with a sense of grandeur and devotion.

The woman's hands are clawed and scaly, resembling that of a lizardman's. As well, the area of her legs below her knees are inhuman to the same degree, matching the same color as the monster girl's hair. Her ears are inhuman, lizard fins with the same color as her scales. But the monstrous part of her that catches your eye among all others belongs to her lizard tail— which appears as though it's perpetually on FIRE. (Hot pink fire that matches her eyes.)

…A Salamander?

The monster girl leans into you until you're both head-level and teasingly glances up into you.

"…" She wordlessly scans your face without blinking.

You feel your heart skip a beat or two before you regain yourself, "Um, hi. Is there a… problem?"

"No problem, just getting a better look at you."

"And-?"

"Aaaand…" The fiery lizardman cocks a brow in surprise, "I have seen sunsets, sunrises, azure coasts, dazzling auroras, lush rainforests, dense jungles, priceless displays, sculpted perfection, but nothing - not even these - could compare to the beauty that lies before me."

You feel yourself hop back out of sheer confusion.

"Aha! There~! That's the reaction I fishing for," the monster girl smiles as she stands decorous and bold, "You can't judge a person on their looks, but you can judge a person by their actions. You, I'm judging as adorable and pure."

"—?"

"Fufufu, what's wrong, fellow Kaizer? Amphibian got your tongue?" The Salamander smiles with a cocky sense of satisfaction, "You look like a lost puppy eager to be adopted by someone who'll treat him right."

"I.. I do? No, uh— who are you?"

"My name is Servica, I would be the elder sister to the lizard legionary division of the 69th," Servica observes your reaction with unnerving thoroughness, "You're not sure what that means— well, a lizardman and it's kin congregate together into what are called 'divisions'. Our lives are a tough lot, like the Ancient Spartans, we practice warfare, academia, and rigorous physical education on a day-to-day basis. The only thing that makes that sort of grueling regimen easier is camaraderie of fellow lizardmen, so we typically hurdle together in packs. Think of them as squadrons of wandering warrior tribes that live together looking to grow stronger through continued combat and trials."

"And you're a… Salamander?"

"Oh my, that's correct!" Servica presses her sweaty chest against your jacket, "You deserve a bit of praise! Good job, A plus!"

"You don't have to talk down to me as if I were a simpleton."

"Ah… Forgive me, that wasn't my intention," the Salamander unglues herself from your clothing and bows apologetically, "I'm used to being the doting older sister to my brethren, so showering one with affection and praise is second nature to me. Well, only if it's well earned, naturally."

"…"

You're suddenly getting flashbacks of Risa.

"That FERAL you treed is worth 30 points evenly, I was going to split them up between my comrade and myself. But I have a feeling she'll be out of Idolkaizer for good with those injuries. So then, the question remains."

"Which question is that?"

"Well, despite my efforts, you're the one who inevitably ended up beating the FERAL. I've spent a great deal of time coaxing the creature into a showdown, and all I have to show for it is my flame retardant Ferrari missing a chunk of it's shell and my comrade in the hospital."

"…"

>>154911

>[x] Tell her you'll split it with her if she lets you pinch her bottom

you do realize whenever you give us the choice to pinch someone's ass, we're gonna take it, right?

>>154911

[] Tell her you'll split it with her if she lets you pinch her bottom and transport you to the Cafe in her Ferrari

>>154914

If you had to choose between the lives of your family and pinching the ass of Rockbutt, what would you do?

>>154917

That depends. Is Rockbutt a married woman at the point in time where I have the opportunity to pinch her butt?

>>154911

>[] Give her the entire 30 points and ask her to train you

As much as I'd like the 30 points slade needs training if he's gonna use his kickass abilitys correctly.

Also ask her if she could drive you to the cafe.

>

>>154911

[] Tell her you'll split it with her if she lets you pinch her bottom and transport you to the Cafe in her Ferrari

All day everyday

[] Tell her you'll split it with her if she'll transport you to the Cafe in her Ferrari.

The bottom pinching needs to happen organically. Its a compulsion we cannot control.

>>154921

>>154911

well shit I forgot to X it

>[X] Give her the entire 30 points and ask her to train you

>>154911

>[] Give her the entire 30 points and ask her to train you

We can buttpinch subtly during training.

>>154924

Oh, right. X's are a thing.

>>154927

>[X] Give her the entire 30 points and ask her to train you

>>154921

>>154927

We need some proper traning alright, we can't just rely on clutch saves from Kill the Star's powers or our "immortality". Maybe we can set up a traning regime or something. Also ask her if she can give us a lift to the café, maybe we can mingle as we wait for our contact.

Also look for the perfect opportunity to pinch her butt

>[X] Give her the entire 30 points and ask her to train you

>>154911

[x] Give her the entire 30 points and ask her to train you.

Scale booty all day erry day

>>154911

[X] Tell her you'll split it with her if she lets you pinch her bottom

[X] Tell her you'll split it with her if she'll transport you to the Cafe in her Ferrari

A buttpinch and a date.

>>154911

[x] Give her the entire 30 points and enlist her as a comrade-in-arms

[x] Give her the entire 30 points and ask her to train you

I don't see why these would be mutually exclusive options. We need allies and we need training, much more than we need points which we can get later.

As a side note, how much is 30 points in the grand scheme of things? Would it be chump change or is it actually a lot to be bargaining with?

>>154911

>[X] Keep all 30 points, and challenge her to the Super Mating Ring

If you don't pick this turn your dick in, you ain't using it right.

>>154970

Surely you aren't implying that we'd sully our purity like this when we have three beautiful, loving vampire sisters that are saving themselves for when we arrive home in triumph?

>[X] Tell her you'll split it with her if she lets you pinch her bottom

>Come back from Florida

>Bromont posted more story

Fuck yeah, let's do this.

[x] Give her the entire 30 points and enlist her as a comrade-in-arms

[x] Give her the entire 30 points and ask her to train you

We need more allies and such if we're gonna challenge literal goddesses.

>>154970

The mating ring can wait until we have at least a 50% chance of not being outright raped

>>155147

Tomboys can't be turbo nerds. That's just silly.

>>155149

She's wearing glasses so she can see turbonerds better. Violet isn't a turbonerd herself.

She's a jock if anything.

>>155151

… so if you're questioning who Dani's father is in this universe, does this mean what's-her-name never used Bizarre Slime to become a futa and subsequently marry Violet? Aoko being unmarried in this universe also raises some questions.

>>155147

>Dani

>Will remain a virgin until 40

DO I HEAR A CHALLENGE

>>155156

Considering she was part succubus and ended up with Zeke in the other universe, I'm also questioning whether she really dislikes manwhores or not in this universe.

Man, that second thread sucked. This one and the first one were way better.

>>155200

You know what, I fucked up. We needed a Kotomine character to explain KingKaizeru and Idolkaizeru. That and too much meandering.

Ah well, nothing I can do about it now. We'll just have to keep going forward.

>>155204

Why not bring back the dojo from BS? Whenever we die horrible and painful deaths

>>155205

We don't have a taiga or illya

>>155206

>no Kotomine

>no Illya

>no Taiga

Surely we at least have a Gilgamesh?

>>155206

Cant we have Whacky Tacky Zacky and Trina do it again, or did they disappear in the universe shift?

>>155207

Our mom.

>>155208

They're gone. They were replaced by elves with late night talk shows that constantly remind people of the current years and how having differing opinions of them makes them stupid.

>>155206

The 3 vampire sisters will do just fine. Gives an excuse to return to them despite not going back to the castle in a long time.

>>155204

It's okay. I'm quite sure that, once we get to know her better, that mascot girl that explained things to us is at least second-best girl.

>archive.is links of 8chan threads are currently inaccessible due to DMCA

Fuck.

>>155376

thanks to some anons we do have a save file for it. but the pictures are missing.

https://web.archive.org/web/20160302010535/http://8ch.net/monster/res/128639.html

>>155376

It's still working for me.

https://archive.is/https://8ch.net/monster/*

>>155381

>>155389

It apparently turned out to be a very temporary problem, thankfully.

>>155338

>Christie = Wildcard

Does this mean she'll cut our breaks and jump out the back of the moving car?

btw BS Crystal is the last CYOA I'm ever going to do.

>>155731

No it isn't. There's no way you can't keep yourself from whatever the fuck goes on in the BS universe since my first BS was Fanki Janki, so I have no idea what any of these references to Roy or Pia or whoever/whatever mean.

>>155731

Dont go!

We love you!

>>155731

Just like all those times you announced it was your last KS story, etc. etc. I didn't fall for it then and I won't fall for it this time.

Let us know when you're ready to release a book or VN or napkin scribbles. I've been ready to throw money at my screen for years.

>>155815

>Bromont demands his children continue Bizarre Slime on his deathbed

SONO CHI NO SADAME~

>>155825

But who is DIO in this scenario? The guy who started the MGE?

>>155877

I'm more interested in knowing who Speedwagon and Erina are.

>>155895

Tottori is probably one or the other.

>>155815

Man the old MGE entries are both short and simple yet they drive their point home well enough. It's really nostalgic. I wonder what happened?

>>155945

Femdom fags

>>155877

I think you should be asking yourself who the Joestar line is in this scenario.

WRRRRRRRRRRRRY

>>155954

MGE was more heavily femdom in the past though.

>>155977

I don't do that anymore. Once you're old enough and you've lost enough people, you just tend to keep to yourself and enjoy the solace of a computer screen and curtain blinds.

Kono Dio. NEET-o-da.

>>155995

Do you have the screencap of that? I can't find it.

>>156009

No. Stop bumming me out.

>>156101

Get out.

>>154911

Agree to team up. Say you'll split the points with her if she drives you home. As you part ways, pinch her butt.

>>156261

So, are we gonna pinch the butt of every female monster girl we meet?

>>156306

No, not the taken ones.

>>156306

Not pinching monstergirl butt would leave hundreds, if not thousands of monstergirls feeling inadequate as we didn't consider them worthy of our pinches. We would be commiting a great disservice in not recognizing the fine qualities of a monsterbutt; be it soft or firm, curvacious or flat, being attached to a godess or being attached to a vagabond, every butt has different qualities and strengths, every butt tells a different story.

Don't discriminate monsterbutts.

>>156315

The anon makes a good point.

Am I the only one who's noticed thus far that we don't yet know why she wanted to meet up with us in the first place?

>>156967

She's not the one who left the notes.

>>156992

Yeah, I noticed that we didn't know if she was the one who left the notes or not, too. At least it seemed that way, I thought there was the chance I might not have been reading carefully enough.

>>157000

>Meet me at Cafe Gaylord

>They're not at Cafe Gaylord

I think that should be enough.

"That's a vanilla response, requires the minimal amount of effort to expunge. You can do better, we all can, I think. Try to think outside the box, lead with misdirection, foppery, and whim."

"Who. Are. You."

"Don't you understand yet? You stand inside a neon garden filled with flowers of flesh and blood— blossoming as far as the eye can SEE! Oh-so-cleverly disguised under the sunlight as musicians, internet celebrities, Goddess' playthings, and anonymous imageboard posters. Hah! But I see right through their falsehoods and lecherous attention grabbing ways. This is a crazy crazy world, and being normal is what singles you out. You especially, Slade Stardust."

She knows your name. Your real name. There's no way that can't be bad news— you scan the girl for an 'eject' button in case she strikes first. You'll need to disarm her before she can incapacitate you-

"Whoa, chill, why are you so full of piss and vinegar? I'm just here to enjoy fish with you, bro."

You reaffirm yourself and speak clearly, "You know my name, how?"

"Huh? Iunno, you just look like a Slade Stardust to me."

"Stop fooling around."

"I'm being 100% serious. Look at me, is this a face that tells lies?"

!

The teenaged girl tilts her head in a Shaft-style posed look, the bangs idly move with gravity, her left eye bleeds into the light and shines like a ruby. The pupil is slit, like a vampire's eye, like your sisters' eyes.

"W..What…?!" You do a comical double take and stand up, "Your eye, what's wrong with your eye?"

"Say, if I were to pull up my shirt and press my tits against the window, do you think they'd leave a smudge? Or do I have to be sweaty first?"

"Goddamn it, I asked you a question you still have yet to answer and you're talking about pressing your bosom against glass? Why?"

"It was the first thing that popped into my head. That and the theme to Ghostbusters. I get extraordinarily pissed when somebody hums a catchy tune and can't tell me what it's from or who performs it. I rank that up there with paper cuts and stubbing your little toe on metal."

Okay. Once again.

"—What's with your eye?"

"Eye scream for ice cream."

"How does this work? If I ask a totally random question, will you answer my previous questions out of some weird contrarian spite?"

"Yes. No. Probably… Certainly! Not. There are no certainties in life, except 'Thai kicks'. Muay Thai kicks are always cool, that's certain."

The ill favored girl grabs a spoon and jabs it into a piece of meat, which promptly slides off as she brings it to her mouth. Agitated, she attempts to impale the meat with her spoon once again, but it merely repeats the same result. The girl stares daggers at the reflection inside her spoon and threatens it.

"You've made a powerful enemy today, spoon."

"…"

You push your chair in and pretend to leave-

She speaks up in a panicked tone, "My name is Hall! Hall Primrose."

"Hall Primrose?"

"Hally, if you want."

"Okay, 'Hally', tell me why you wanted to meet me here today?"

"—"

"—Well?"

"…Uhhh…" The girl scratches her cheek in a ditzy airheaded fashion, "I don't… rightfully remember?"