Unwanted Houseguests

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File: 1456454718756.jpeg (39.74 KB, 606x551, 606:551, 5d132c66d4aa726d9e9d11483….jpeg)

Unwanted Houseguests Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 02:45:18 2e5c8a No.149286

What would you do if you have an unwanted mamono houseguest?

>Come home after a night out with friends

>Find a Jellyfish girl sitting on my couch sipping tea

>ask her what she's doing in my house

>Stubborn Jellyfish responds "This is my house, I don't know what you're talking about"

>Can't convince the jellyfish to leave

>Too tired and decide to deal with it in the morning

>Wake up with the jellyfish next to me

>Ask her why she's on my bed

>She responds "This is my bed, I don't know what you're talking about"

>I sit up, angry that the jellyfish waltzes into my home like she owns the place

>Jellyfish then kisses me and hugs me

>She smiles and says "You're my husband"

>The unwanted houseguest is here to stay

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 02:47:37 295ffa No.149290

>>149286

Maybe she's always been your wife anon, you just got amnesia

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 02:48:35 2e5c8a No.149291

>>149290

That's some spooky shit having a wife I don't remember having.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 02:51:35 cd7961 No.149294

>>149286

>mamono houseguest

>unwanted

What are you, some kind of faggot?

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 02:52:42 4a9116 No.149297

>>149286

>unwanted mamono houseguest

I thought we had agreed that angels didn't exist.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 03:00:43 c4e87c No.149304

>>149290

If he actually had amnesia, she wouldn't fuck with him like that. Or if she did, unless she's complete shit-tier she'd feel terrible afterwards.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 03:02:28 ab72c8 No.149307

>unwanted monster girl

short of my apartment spontaneously becoming a matango pit I don't see how this could be a thing

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 03:10:10 ed5ee0 No.149311

>>149290

It's a Jellyfish thing.

Jellyfish Girls are notorious for going into single men's homes unannounced and claim the homes were theirs this whole time.

They would also claim the home owner was their husband as well.

Jellyfish Girls are hard to get rid of, you'll be stuck living with a Jellyfish as a wife.

That's why you have to lock your doors so jellyfish won't get in.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 03:14:56 9e14db No.149314

File: 1456456496073.gif (414.91 KB, 500x282, 250:141, smugfrog.gif)

I'd get out the funlance.

Specially since I already would have a wife.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 03:33:10 1e7820 No.149329

File: 1456457591291.jpg (418.35 KB, 693x794, 693:794, kappa girl.jpg)

>be a filthy jap

>moved out of the country with my family right before I became a teen

>18 today, still a kissless virgin

>one day I returned home and nobody's shoes was in the entrance

>but there was sound coming from the kitchen

>oh shit a burglar!?

>returned outside and crept to the window

>a stranger was trespassing alright, ~~stealing~~ devouring our food supply from the fridge

>waitaminute

>t-that's not a…!

>the green creature turned to the window

>fell to the knees

>fuckfuckfufck

>grabbed cellphone, call 911

>"hullo?"

>"THERE'S A MONSTER IN MY HOUSE!!"

>"…"

>they hung up

>WHATDOIDOWHATDOIDO-

>"Konnichiwa!~"

>raise my head

>the fucking thing is right in front of me, chomping on a cucumber from the fridge and grinning from ear to ear

>it looks like a girl my age except her skin is green and she has pointy ears, scales on her back and… a water bowl on her head?

>lost my shit when I recognized my people's folklore

>"long time no see!~" she said in my own tongue

>screamed like a girl

>attempted to flee

>but the freaking kappa just pinned me down in spite of being smaller than me

>"heheh~ just like old times."

>"G-G-GET OFF ME, FOUL CREATURE!"

>suddenly her grin drops

>"…W-Why are you calling me that?"

>"I DON'T WANNA BE EATEN!!"

>…are those tears in her eyes?

>"…A-Anon-kun, y-you're so mean… I finally found you, a-and you already completely forgot about me…"

>nani?

>woahwoahwoah how does she know my name?

>did I meet her before?

>"T-To think, all this time, w-when we played sumo… I-I thought one day, y-you and I would…"

>hold on a sec

>I do remember playing sumo with a girl years ago

>but a HUMAN girl

>that I would only meet by the river

>whom I never met the parents

>who always asked me to bring cucumb-

>…huh

>took a good hard look at her face, her hair, anything that was normal

>huh, how peculiar, it's almost as if she was an older, kappa version of-

>"…R-Ren!?"

>her tears evaporated and she beamed at me

>and then she gave me a quite… naughty look

>just remembered that she was on top of me

>completely making me unable to move

>but before I could do anything she started violating my mouth with her tongue

>and my groin with hers

>outside

>for hours to come

And that, kids, is how I reunited with your mother.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 03:35:31 9e14db No.149333

>>149329

Would you let your kappa waifu touch your shirikodama?

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 03:55:23 1fa4f8 No.149346

>>149304

What if he lost his memory while he was out and she thought he was just playing a game?

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 04:56:56 6db036 No.149380

File: 1456462616443.jpg (24.38 KB, 472x538, 236:269, 1424077111209.jpg)

>get heavy rain for a week straight

>basement ends up flooding

>try my best to clean out the water

>still smells musty, but whatever

>few weeks later go down to basement

>there's a cluster of Matangos growing out of the base of a wall

>mfw

So is there a service or something I can call, or do I need to just burn the house down?

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 05:07:59 4a9116 No.149382

File: 1456463279752.jpg (81.45 KB, 449x600, 449:600, ivan mask.jpg)

>>149380

GET YOUR GAS MASK ON NIGGA

HURRY

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 05:11:51 ed5ee0 No.149385

>>149380

I'm pretty sure they sell Matangocide so you wouldn't have to burn your entire house.

Just get a gas mask and the matangocide gas.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 05:16:55 3d1c42 No.149388

File: 1456463815796.jpg (199.41 KB, 660x530, 66:53, 1456377952523.jpg)

>>149286

>sitting in my dorm playing viday

>Loose a match of Smash4

>Take a sign and look out the window of my room

>"oh hey full moon."

>I hear a knock at the door

>A group of hellhounds are there

>"Ugh! Really? Go over to Steve's or something, he hasn't dealt with you yet." I plead frustrated

>The three hellhounds looked at each other

>"I'll head to Steve's. Lucy, you take this kid and Sam go down and show that new guy who is the dominatn people around here. That an okay plan?"

>They all nodded to each other and hey went there ways before Lucy walked in blushing and smiling with joy.

>Sex was initiated almost instantly.

>Lucy now visits me often to have sex with me and eat my food.

>I'm going to ask her out soon.

Feel good.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 05:22:45 4ac879 No.149397

>>149286

>>Come home after a night out with friends

damn OP, entirely disconnected me from any way of relating in the first sentence. i dont have any friends

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 06:27:29 5643fb No.149446

>Termite Girls

You loose your home and virginity

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 06:44:30 cd7961 No.149456

>>149380

Do you hear the whispers in the walls? It might already be too late.

If not, yeah, some heavy duty fungicide should clear out the infection.

>>149446

>Implying your termite waifu and her sisters wouldn't build you a subterranian palace just out of hand.

This is why we can't have nice things m80.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 08:58:56 7ebc93 No.149566

File: 1456477136248.jpg (773.38 KB, 800x800, 1:1, higher than anyone.jpg)

Get her to do my homework.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 09:09:00 62c0a0 No.149571

Live near a graveyard or undertaker, get the occasional zombie or skeleton wandering onto your property. or even into your house.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 09:57:54 dffe47 No.149582

File: 1456480674140.png (Spoiler Image, 300.93 KB, 420x420, 1:1, SmugShoggoth.png)

>Make it back to the house after a long day at work

>Open the door to find the maid cleaning up the mess that has been building up for the last week and a half

>Sit down at my desk to shitpost

>Maid comes by and gives me my favorite brand of soda, coaster included

>I sneeze, mumbling to myself how I might be getting sick

>A dainty hand comes from side with a tissue

>Take it and blow my nose when I notice something interesting

>The maid is in the kitchen doing the dishes

>The kitchen is two rooms away

>Her hand is still in front of me

>I don't have a maid

And that's how I met my Shoggoth wife!

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 14:14:24 6f064a No.149643

>>149582

How scary.

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 22:00:02 efc7d3 No.149832

>>149380

You should probably contact first responders or CBRN. Failing that, get a gas mask made after 1990 and bubba a flamethrower

Detroit Hellhound Matrix writefag 02/26/16 (Fri) 22:54:48 079983 No.149863

>Turn the key and open the door

>Nobody has set foot in this house for 10 years since my uncle died

>He gave it to me in his will and it's paid off, so it's miles better than my shitty apartment

>Walk in and the place is massive on the inside, 3 stories at least, two stair cases, old furniture and cobwebs everywhere

>Welp, time to move my stuff in..

Gonna do a quickie for this thread.

Detroit Hellhound Matrix writefag 02/26/16 (Fri) 22:59:01 079983 No.149866

>>149863

>Go to my shitbox Honda and move all my stuff in to the master bedroom on the third floor, get my vidya and rig set up

>It's the weekend so I guess I'll just play some Skyrim or something

>Get a broom and sweep out all the dust on the bed and most of the room, nice queen sized bed in here

>Hear a door creak open very loudly.. Then slam shut..

>P-probably just the wind r-right???

>It happens again, this time downstairs

>Shit.. Something is definitely in here with me..

Detroit Hellhound Matrix writefag 02/26/16 (Fri) 23:04:04 079983 No.149872

>>149866

>"Hello!?" I call out down the stairs, wielding this shitty plastic broom from Walmart

>No answer

>"I know you're down there whoever you are! Show yourself or I'll, I-I'll!-"

>"You'll do what, pretty boy?"

>TURN AROUND AND HOLY FUCK

>She's like a spider… But all fuzzy like with fur, and she's huge.. has a weird eyepatch over one eye, half spider half woman with green skin.. With horns on her head and long black hair.

>"AHHH!!!" I scream like a girl and run the fuck down the stairs

>She just jumps and lands infront of me holy shit

>SWING BROOM

>She raises her hand and the broom just snaps upon impact

>"Tsk Tsk little human.. THAT WASN'T VERY NICE." She roared

>Someoneplshalpme.gif

Detroit Hellhound Matrix writefag 02/26/16 (Fri) 23:07:56 079983 No.149879

>>149872

>Try to turn and run only to get pounced on by the fuzzy spider demon thing

>"Please don't eat me!!' I say, I don't wanna die..

>"Eat you? Hehehe silly Husband, I'm not going to eat you!" She says, giggling like a school girl

>Called me Husband, wut

>"Well what are yo-"

>PAIN AND PLEASURE..

>She had already unzipped my jeans while we were talking, didn't even realize I had a boner this whole time

>And she was fucking me somehow..

>MY PELVIS BURNS..

>Feels like my pelvic bones are getting grinded into dust

Detroit Hellhound Matrix writefag 02/26/16 (Fri) 23:10:22 079983 No.149881

>>149879

>3 years later

>Me and Layla have been dating for awhile now, when we first met I was scared, but now I'm happy she's with me

>We even had a daughter together, she can crawl just like mommy now

>Live happily ever after with Ushi Oni waifu in inherited house

The end!

Violated Hero 02/26/16 (Fri) 23:32:47 3d1a2f No.149891

File: 1456529567808-0.jpg (274.08 KB, 868x1228, 217:307, Nurarihyon.jpg)

File: 1456529567811-1.jpg (200.42 KB, 660x912, 55:76, Nurarihyon2.jpg)

>>149286

I have the same exact problem too.

A jellyfish girl also went into my home, pretending she owned the place and claimed I was her husband

I tried to get rid of her, but she's to stubborn to leave and she'll sting me when I try to force her out.

She even managed to trick my friends into believing that we've always lived together.

That smug tea sipping cunt even rapes me as she temporarily paralyze me because I was resisting.

Why do jellyfish girls go into people's homes and claim it theirs?

Why do jellyfish girls claim the male home owner as their husband and force a relationship?

HOW DO YOU GET RID OF JELLYFISH?

Worst part about this is that they act as if it's always been this way, as if I was always her husband and this was always her house.

FUCKING JELLYFISH!

Detroit Hellhound Matrix writefag 02/26/16 (Fri) 23:42:23 079983 No.149894

>>149891

Australia/10

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 00:38:41 f80576 No.149955

>>149891

Turn on the air conditioner, full blast, then when she's immobile from the cold throw the bitch out.

Failing that, get a trained dog to take massive shits on her.

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 00:45:25 0667c9 No.149965

File: 1456533925774.jpg (599.26 KB, 993x996, 331:332, 1417491973061-4.jpg)

>>149881

Pretty cute~

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 00:58:38 cd7731 No.149986

File: 1456534718288.jpg (54.66 KB, 368x339, 368:339, Rape.JPG)

>>149286

>>149311

>>149891

Post your face when a jellyfish girl is suddenly in your home.

Detroit Hellhound Matrix writefag 02/27/16 (Sat) 02:34:40 079983 No.150061

>>149965

Thank you Anon.

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 03:10:56 efc7d3 No.150077

File: 1456542656987.png (233.44 KB, 400x400, 1:1, image.png)

>>149986

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 04:06:14 5643fb No.150100

I've got a really really bad situation guys

Some catgirl visited my vet center last night and left some flea girls behind

Everything those flea fuckers bite turns into a monster girl except human guys, duh.

What makes it even worse is that monster girls who are bitten go into an itchy heat and grow lewder bodies due to monster magic exchange

I can't go inside because it's a horny jungle of itchy women, yet I can't leave the animals inside because they'd eventually be pelvic shattering sex machines

any advice /monster/?

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 05:38:34 e93be1 No.150147

>>150100

Go to the bunker and hide til rescue comes.

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 05:44:14 9e14db No.150151

File: 1456551855077.jpg (124.74 KB, 400x240, 5:3, 1456332976570.jpg)

>>149986

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 05:57:15 878279 No.150161

>>149894

I call shenanigans

Australian Jellyfish would put you in hospital then rape you when you're in a coma

Detroit Hellhound Matrix writefag 02/27/16 (Sat) 07:08:17 079983 No.150193

>>150161

After poisoning you 12 times. It would probably be a box jellyfish after all..

Could you imagine how shitty it would be for anyone living in Sydney? Christ

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 10:45:07 583106 No.150248

File: 1456569907704.png (23.72 KB, 128x151, 128:151, mfw dumbpire confesses.png)

>>149986

Not my favorite, but I wouldn't complain.

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 12:28:01 203980 No.150265

>>149891

Jellyfish don't give a fuck. They just float around aimlessly and let things get tangled in their poisonous tendrils. Some species are among the absolute deadliest animals in the entire goddamn world, but they don't even consciously attack other animals. They're not like tigers or hornets who viciously defend their own territory. Wherever they end up, that place becomes theirs by virtue of them being dangerous to be around.

They just don't give a fuck.

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 12:50:14 c8953c No.150271

File: 1456577414609-0.jpeg (261.22 KB, 742x800, 371:400, 9f641a416abc76296886a5316….jpeg)

File: 1456577414609-1.jpg (402.91 KB, 897x1240, 897:1240, a382ec9e0bee27d78f5fe419ea….jpg)

File: 1456577414609-2.jpg (519.43 KB, 800x1200, 2:3, 0fb5c7121af21d72be41389eac….jpg)

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File: 1456577414610-4.jpg (886.96 KB, 1000x1414, 500:707, 0314ee1f791a15ee18c80b8ac0….jpg)

>>149891

Of course you'll have a bad time.

Try accepting her and embrace her love.

Jellyfish may appear as unwanted houseguests for entering in people's homes unannounced, but they become great wives with soft squishy bodies that feel good to touch and they're also really docile and polite.

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 21:04:54 31d362 No.150462

>>150271

>soft squishy bodies

Jellyfish must be great.

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 23:44:12 7ebc93 No.150580

>>150271

>b-but they're good wives!

Pretty much every monstergirl makes for a wife that is at least not shit. That's not a viable excuse.

Violated Hero 02/27/16 (Sat) 23:53:18 7ebc93 No.150584

>>150580

Actually I'm going to take that back. A monstergirl wandering into your house and going "WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS" is probably one of the tamest courtship processes.

Violated Hero 02/28/16 (Sun) 00:06:59 31d362 No.150591

>>150584

I personally find it cute.

To suddenly find a jellyfish in my home making me dinner and say "welcome home darling" would be wonderful.

Violated Hero 02/28/16 (Sun) 00:20:57 7ebc93 No.150593

>>150591

Yeah, I guess that all things considered it would only be a boon for me if some cheeky seadweller moved in and started doing all of my neglected chores and housekeeping for me while I browse the internet all day. It's not like I'd be losing much if she doesn't think I'm not carrying my weight.

Violated Hero 02/28/16 (Sun) 00:22:29 7ebc93 No.150594

>>150593

If she thinks I'm not carrying my weight, I mean. I'm sorry.

Violated Hero 03/02/16 (Wed) 16:13:22 83a9b8 No.152622

Imagine a manticore wondering into your house and sleeping on your bed.

Violated Hero 03/02/16 (Wed) 16:28:23 c6f23d No.152627

File: 1456936103376.png (218.17 KB, 500x500, 1:1, 1450553834538.png)