/monster/ - The Last Bastion of Romance

> I need to buy stuff from the store, but the mamanos are right outside. Finally managed to get that frilly crap off. How should I do it, guys?

> lol jus jump out

> run 4 it

> leave ur door open, dood

> ill let you eat muh tits

> Guys, I'm starving. This is serious.

> lol, u run outta dix?

> lol

> XD

> lol, dix

> GUYS, COME ON.

___________

> i found a hol in hoomans house. les pile in dere and fuq him

> lol, gloryhole

> fuck off, mimicfag

> AH SHIT SUM KINDA TRAP YO

> an not da good kind

> That's called a net you dumbass.

> aw shit son

> doods im super stuck. plz halp. Pull m tail

> lol, lets put stuff inner but

> WOT NO FUCK OFF

> lol

> XD

> Ugh, for gods sake. AFK.

Five minutes later

> HOOMAN FREED ME. TOOK STUFF OUTTA M'BUTT. HE MIEN.

> I'm not yours, I just took pity on you. Now get out.

> PITYWIFE

> PITYWIFU

> FUCK OFF, U JELLYS

> Ugh…

> Oh man, they're camped outside your house too? You've got it easy - I've got a bunch of them trying to alp me. Dressed me up in a bunch of frilly dresses and stockings. This is stupid.

> i beyt u look gud

> naw man, is all good.

> thats what bois wear now, dumfuq

> wut u got in ur but right now~?

> Right now? There's this stupid plug they shoved up there. Thanks for reminding me, ugh.

> hawt

> yo put annuda one up dere

> how big is it

> yooooo

____

> u no wot is gud? hugz

> yo hugz is best

> hugz suck

> u suck

> catfight

> ~Nyan~?

> cats leave

> Why don't you all leave my front lawn and stop shitposting on your phones using my wifi?

> lol, he change password. EZ to krak

> BURN

> oh shit, drgun

> fkin bail

> gold digger incomin

> WHERE IS HE

> lol allcaps dragon

> WHAT

> keys 2 fat 4 keypad

> HOW DARE YOU

> I AM THE GREAT DESTROYER

> THE SHADOW OF CHAOS

> MASTER OF A THOUSAND YEARS

> old

> I AM

> FUCK OFF OLD DRAGONS ARE PRETTIEST

> lol

> XD

> IM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL

> Please do…

>>154103

> frilly stuff

If he's alone inside the house, what's the frilly stuff?

>>154106

Ah shit, that one was supposed to go after the introduction of the second guy they're trying to alp. Makes more sense then.

Anyway, another one:

> Yo man, are you still okay?

> Barely. They almost broke down the door last night.

> yo why u lock ur door

> 2 keep u fat ass out

> iz muscle, bitch

> They've just been arguing like this all night afterwards. I think they're mad.

> That's a good thing.

> why dun u 2 go fuq som

> yeah go be fegs

> eone

> alps when

> theys only fegs cause they havent had uz

> alps when

> bet hes like a locksmith

> cocksmith

> u wish

> alps when

> alps never

> noooo

> Maybe I can try drawing them off somewhere with bait or something.

> cum out chu window

> …

> Dude, no

> HEY I'M DESPERATE HERE!

> dood do it

> ya do it

> u fukkrs move. want it

> Oh jeez, they're up in a frenzy now.

> If you open your window they're gonna rip your dick off.

> They gonna do that if I don't.

> Don't say I didn't warn you…

…

> You still have your dick?

> There was a fucking frog girl down there. I think I just had projectile fellatio.

> u luv it

> yo hooman

> What?

> wats ur fav flavor?

> …Of?

> GURL

> ya girl. which 1 u like

> I'm not allowed to say 'human' am I?

> vanilla

> I figured… Um, I dunno. Whatever's closest to human?

> yo zombies win

> gross

> unded r shit tier

> wights tho

> wights tho

> wight is samefagging

> not!!

> he means most 2 human but not hueman

> …leik mimic?

> mimic is all, dumbass

> Nya, he means Neko is the best~!

> cats leave

> Oh, don't mind me I'm just lyin' around~!

> CATS LEAVE

> I'll have to agree if she keeps making puns.

> NYO

> wans mebe?

> yo hooman, wans?

> You mean dog-girls? I guess they're okay.

> ohshitdoglover

> hes probably got wan toys

> Ah AH! He likes dogs! Master!

> throw stik, get rid of dog

> MASTERTHREWMEASTICK! THIS IS THE BEST

> lol she thinks it waz hooman

> dumb dog

> Hora Hora~

> snektits incoming

> sneks r shit

> Lamias? Oh, that's cool. I like snakes.

> …

> …

> H-Hora~!

Watching this thread with ridiculous intensity.

Loving it so far. CATS LEAVE!

The first guy better hope the second one doesn't alp, then he'll have another monster shitposting and stealing his wifi

> So have they alped that one guy yet or what?

> I'm still straight!

> Heh, not exactly what he asked.

> oh ya hes totes an alp now

> u gais dont even know

> his but 2 die 4

> Well that settles it.

> Dude, fuck off. I'm not alped, they just stuck me in some stupid dresses. I've still got my dick.

> I want alps to leave

> succubtt detected

> BETTERN N ALP FUCKR

> u lie alps r best

> Can we stop talking about this?

> About you alping?

> Says the snakefucker.

> Hora~

> They've only got one hole, maybe it's easier for him to figure the sex out.

> I figure you're an asshole.

> finger hs asshole

> alps leave

> I think we should focus on trying to get these mamanos away from our houses.

> y? so u can have all the dik, alpboy?

> some1 say alp dick

> lol how even

> gaiz Im stuck on the roof

> They don't seem all that coordinated so maybe we can trick them.

> You're talking in pub, dumbass. Send a private.

> y u no reply to my pms?

> Hehe, PMS.

> You're as bad as them.

> ye bad boi

> LOVE BAD BOY

> im stuck on the roof. plz help

> bad boy best hsubando

> husbando

> y so quiet

> they pming each otha

> I wsh they pm me

> I gotta pic of one. hes bendin ova

> HEY!

> aw yis

> y pants???

> post more pics

> yo hooman, y pants?

> hooman

> hooman y pants

> Why not.

> the butt

> show uz ur abs

> wanna suk on dem

> GAIZ, ONE OF THEM CAME UP TO ROOF WITH ME

> Oh shit, there was one up there!?

> go harpy go

> gIT WAY FROM HUSBAND

> lol she flappin

> ah shit, they go

> Christ, the harpy got him?

> Fuck, man. Now there's just the two of us left until the rest come on.

> romanz him

> WHAT FUK NO

> The hell was that?

> Nothing.

> I'm not alping.

> Shut up.

> yo whens dik tho

>>154109

>wan wan girls

>"ok"

he deserves to be alped

alp those who insult wan wan's sign.jpg

> [ user has entered the room ]

> Yo nerds, what up?

> u nrd

> kek

> dik or gtfo

> Woah, what's with the illiteracy?

> Mamanos.

> Ah… wait, how does that work?

> Big. Meaty. Paws.

> crab fuckr

> I-I thoguht he liked snaks

> I lik snacks

> fattie

> want fat boi

> ew

> fat goes t tits. flatties no undrstnd

> hapry's npt here 2 be offneded

> kek

> Heh, you guys are fucked then. Must suck to be a dude.

> They can still monsterize you, y'know? You should probably barricade yourself.

> barricayde yor dik in me

> Yeah, I did it too late and I'm paying the price.

> Mm, he's alping.

> FUCK OFF I'M NOT.

> but dik tho

> Why don't you guys just call the cops or something?

> I did. That's how we ended up with the succubi in police outfits. They keep throwing up the horns at me.

> lov bad boi

> yo, u like handcuffs?

> cum ride wit me

> I swear I can hear someone in that car's trunk…

> Come on dude, they're thinking, sentient creatures. Surely you can reason

> They're shitposters.

> with them and

> Oh okay, fair point. Nevermind.

> my hooman best hooman~

> harpy leave

> hapry how iz happinez?

> IS BEST. Gonna lay eeg~!

> chikinfuckr

> wans barking up er tree

> kek, she flappin

> U GAiz SUk

> Thatdidntwork

> thrw a stik at hr

> kek wans chasing

> Mmn, I need new clothes. They don't fit around my t

> Your what?

> Typo. They're big on my tits.

> fattie detected

> Wow, they're rude.

> Bullshit. You were going to say tail.

> Whaaat? No, don't be ridiculous. BTW, are we still on for today?

> Wot

> human/human so vanilla

> worst pairng

> RedditcuckS REEEEEEEEEEEE

> You seriously think I can go outside like this?

> Oh I can come to you.

> Yeeaaah no. You're being super suspicious right now.

> ye fuk hr

> no don fuk her

> but fuk her tho

> buttfuk her

> Dude, you're crazy. Just let me in when I text you, it'll be fine.

> Just go to his house instead.

> Pft, with an alp? What's the point?

> I'M NOT FUCKING ALPING

> alp 4 me boi~

> stop

> Come ooon, when have I ever lied to you before~?

> Much like a bad infomercial, I'm not buying it.

> Heh, dude whatever. Your loss. Lemme know when you change your mind.

> husbando so smrt~

> best husband

> vanilla fuk off

> let me coooil u up~

> bet hs dik so big

> show us big dik

> ya do eet

> hrt go dokidoki 4 husband

> Fuck, now there's more.

> Anytime man, I can make it all go away~

> Ugh…

>>154125

Sounds like they are just trying to bully the humans, make them think that real men would come out of their homes.

>>154125

Glad to know. Any requests for what should show up on his lawn next? I need to sleep right now.

They're mostly bullying alp guy for fun and to get the humans to come out, not purely for sexual reasons. I might build on that a bit as they try to egg him on.

>>154128

Maybe the alp guy should try negotiate and ask if he comes outside they let him have his penis.

This just makes me want the mist but with monstergirls.

>inb4 someone draws a picture of a PaIadin in front of a car full of dead people crying as the army goes past

>>154107

>There was a fucking frog girl down there. I think I just had projectile fellatio

Shit, my sides can't handle this level of funposting. If I keep laughing I'm going to have a coughing fit. And I agree with the snek for the record.

loving it but it would be nice to have some sort of indicator of who is saying what. i get lost quick

>>154238

Mm, good point. I was forgoing screennames because it was easier to write that way.

> Admin: Ok screennames are back up.

> Youkoban: Cool. You free now to hang out?

> Admin: Again, no.

> Alppenheimer: Good to know.

> Alppenheimer: WHO THE FUCK CHANGED MY NAME?

> lol

> lololo

> kek

> Admin: Sorry, I couldn't resist. You can change it later on today.

> Alppenheimer: I'll change it the second I'm able, bastard.

> yo no namz ere?

> cant mak account

> Admin: Yeah, I decided to freeze all new accounts for a while. The last thing I need are mamanos with privileges.

> so meen!

> yea be meen, bad boi~

> cum party wit uz

> chnge ur name 2 bad boy

> Admin: No.

> feg

> be feg wit me

> open ur dor feg

> adminishrtate muh womb

> Admin: You girls really have nothing better to do, do you?

> nup

> we cud be doin u

> fuk dors

> snek is stuk in drainpip

> Admin: I know, I can hear her rattling around just outside.

> rattlesnek

> MASTERIBROUGHTTHESTICK

> wans bak

> Admin: I didn't throw that.

> butibroughtitforyou

> Admin: I don't care.

> Bhff;jsjk;

> she cryn

> so meen

> thrw hr a bone

> kek

> whosaidbone!?

> Admin: She looks fine to me.

> ohboyohboymastersaidimlookingfine

> ohohoh

> stup wackn me wit ur fukin tail

> Youkoban: I don't have tails.

> not u vanills

> wan needs wid berth

> i want give wide bith 4 meen boy

> 2lewd

> inaris fuk off

> yo turn ur springklrs on. 2hot

> mermalade dryin out

> Admin: Not a bad idea. One second.

> YO WUT

> thfuk

> water in mbut

> lol wans goin nuts

> idroppedmyphonewhyistherewatereverwhere!?

> cats stuk in tre

> admin mermfuckr

> i hope so~

> i herd he wz crabfuckr??

> cancer iz cancer, leave

> i lay my egz 4 u!

> he turnd sprinklr on agin

>>154330

Will admin ever make it out alive without being raped?

>>154360

What the fuck is that, are Skogsra tree people?

>>154372

That's a pic of the Skogsra from SMT:

>Beautiful wood faeries of Swedish folklore.

>They are said to resemble beautiful women form the front, but their backs are covered in bark. They are known to blow on huntsmen's rifles to bless them, as well as protect campfires while travelers sleep. They yearn for the company of a man, but those who see their backs flee in terror.

>>154372

>>154374

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hulder

Their alternative name is the Hulder.

>>154330

>> feg

>> be feg wit me

>> open ur dor feg

>> adminishrtate muh womb

this is gold. and thanks for adding the names, makes it so much more easy to understand

Oh sweet Jesus, imagine if an aussie faggotcat got online.

Maybe a slav as fuck kikimora too?

>>154592

>aussie faggotcat

You mean the first Mamono Prime Minister? :^)

>>154592

I;m not quite sure how chesire would work in this. I doubt she'd be shitposting poorly like most of the squatters. I could see some stupid riddles though. Kiki is also interesting.

Anyway, some more, sectioned into smaller parts.

> SpecialKNight: Greetings brothers. Doth thine eyes witness the plague most feminine?

> Alppenheimer: Larper's online.

> SpecialKNight: 'Tis not all I am.

> Youkoban: I think he has some automated thing that converts certain words and he just ran with it.

> il tayk u nite

> sfun wen they rsist

> badmin stil best hsband

> il slip m tentcls in ur armr, boi

> im in hs car

> smels lik man~

> Admin: Yo Special, you better barricade your home quick. These girls will even go for your virgin ass.

> Alppenheimer: Literally…

> Youkoban: Ooh. Tell me more, tell more more; did you put up a fight~?

> Alppenheimer: Fuck off, greased lightning.

> Youkoban: I'll take $200 for 'The two words most accurate to describe a dick going inside Alppenheimer'

> yo thers an ideya

> go lube the skank up wit greese n' send hr in agan

> u men snek?

> thas wt I sed

> kek

> SpecialKNight: Regardless, you shan't fear, mine compatriots, for mine fortress is impregnable.

> shit teer fort bro

> preggers fort

> dus that meen he cums in th wals?

> how els he no dat?

> cum on me 2,nite

> SpecialKNight: They are even more horrifying than I could have imagined.

> Admin: I dunno, they're growing on me in a stupid kind of way.

> Alppenheimer: Woah, are you watching the news?

> Youkoban: I'm surprised they're still running.

> whos runnng

> wans excite agan

> Icancatchanyboy!

> Youkoban: Yeah, I don't doubt that.

> Admin: Zombies officially better at disrupting communications than mamanos.

> badmin liks zombs confrm. othr grls laeve

> zombs r mamanos

> unded still shit

> u liyk cold turky admn?

> Admin: Not as such, but all you're acting like a zombie horde right now. 'Cept you eat my bandwidth.

> il et ur bandgurth

> hord ur dik in me

> hw thicc is ur bands wdth?

> i men ur dick

> hs nrt rplyn

> alp waz he lik?

> Alppenheimer: Well I think I saw it once in the gym lockers, very briefly. It's not that thick but I think it was kinda

> Alppenheimer: ANYWAY, yeah the TV is still up. Aside from some programs running some suspiciously direct content about how monstergirls like everyone's lives better, there's still some vestiges of human news running. They just showed live footage of this reporter guy on a boat talking about the lilim when this stacked sharkgirl jumps up and drags him overboard

> Admin: That's pretty metal.

> alp keep talkin bout his dik

> do it

> SpecialKNight: A terrible way to be dishonored. Pour thine beverages out for the fallen.

> Admin: If we do that I'll run out of what little shit I have left. Last guy that ran for supplies got plucked by a harpy.

> jelly 4 shurk n hsnbnd

> gon g 2 seesyde 4 hsbnd nao

> addmin, opn wiindow

> les reemak dat on laend

> Admin: Out the window? If I wanted a broken neck I'd go larping with part of a complete breakfast over there.

> SpecialKNight: We have since ceased utilizing recreation weaponry and have converted our armories to crafts from the 'nerf' guild. The constabulary no longer interfere with our questing.

> Admin: You might want to bring them back our again. The new cops will stick your foam bats where the sun don't shine.

> wee gt a trampolyn 4 u badmington

> ye, now opn ur windw

> Itssobouncywanwanwan

> fuk shs hoggin et

> only traamps on trampline

> FUK SPRINKLRS

> Admin: Vamanos, mamanos.

______

> Admin: Yo Alppenheimer.

> Alppenheimer: I'm still waiting to be able to change that. Hows that going by the way!?!!?

> Admin: Dunno, hows the alping?

> Alppenheimer: Not alping.

> Admin: Lets test that. If I said I was going to send you nudes, what would your reaction be?

> whosaidnoods

> doit

> fuk teesing alp - mannoods on da waye

> dood im nood 4 u

> take noods nd share

> wana see futur husbnd dik

> do it feg

> stond by windw whn do et

> Youkoban: Yeah, if you're taking nudes just post them on pub. It's fine.

> Admin: Yeah, no. I already have sprinklers; I don't need another way to get my lawn wet.

> lewd

> slim alredy wet

> slym alwasys wet

> slime al

> lol, slime just et her phne

> Youkoban: See? Come on dude. Noone's against it. What, are you just small or something?

> NO HE BG

> husbnd soopr big

> vanila fuk of

> Admin: As much as I appreciate the sudden interest you're taking in my body, Youko, I think I'll pass on the whole thing.

> Alppenheimer: Dammit Youko…

> oooo

> e gettin dere

> Admin: Dude.

> Alppenheimer: I MEANT GODDAMMIT AS IN STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS. ITS THE LAG I

> Alppenheimer: II DON'T WANT YOUR NUDES. I NEVER DID.

> so noods wen?

>>154644

>A Paladindu has joined the conversation

IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER

>>154644

>> slim alredy wet

>> slym alwasys wet

>> slime al

>> lol, slime just et her phne

Pissing myself.

So now theres just two humans in the chat?

>>154687

4 If you count the soon to be alp Admin, Alpenheimer, SpecialKNight, and Youkoban the last one is a human girl.

>>154720

>mamano alping the closet gay

>not alping the fedoralord too

Alp is just Paladindu without the A-D-I-N :^)

>>154720

But youkoban is a monster pretending to be a human right?

>>154721

fuck you too word filter.

>>154723

no shes human for now

What'd be worse, an Aussie faggotcat or a Brazilian monkey girl?

>>154795

Aussie faggotcats would actually banter, Brazilian monkey girls would just laugh, and laugh, and laugh. I like monkey girls better than cheshires, though.

>how do we know if it's really the human in there?

>SHOE ON HEAD HUMAN

>Vamanos mamonos

I lost it. Much thanks op.

This thread is fucking great. I love you, OP.

Woe is them if a full moon comes

>>155041

I don't think they'll ever get the humans.

Don't tell me that's all there is, this shit is gold.

> Admin: The hell was that noise?

> owww

> Youkoban: Text-only, dumbass.

> SpecialKNight: Has the horde breached thy domicile?

> Admin: No, but they're trying. I think they're using a golem as a battering ram.

> we gon git uuuu

> ye we gon fuk ur brans ut

> oww! gais stop

> yse her hed!

> Alppenheimer: That's one hard head.

> Alppenheimer: N-Not that I'm interested in head, o-or being hard…

> ye we git it

> cum hel pus brek dor, alp

> weel giv u leftova

> Alppenheimer: G-Gross

> SpecialKNight: Chaste administrator, you must act quickly if you are to maintain your defenses! Doth thou possess any mounted weapons?

> il maunt ur wepon

> Admin: Sorry, but my realtor didn't show me any houses with turrets.

> SpecialKNight: An oversight, I'm sure. Never fear, for I refer to more manageable weapons; scalding oil and such.

> nu

> NITE NO

> iv had wurse

> Admin: Uh, I don't know. That sounds kind of… murdery? I don't want to hurt any of them.

> ouuhh

> bad boi iz nise?

> is he evn bayd!?

> iv bin lied 2 he perf

> LUV

> Admin: Ok, I'm willing to hurt them a little.

> kinkeeee~

> SpecialKNight: If your premises lack oil, water may suffice.

> Admin: Right, right. Hot water should be good enough. I think I have a hose around here…

> thers hoes rite here!

> il bet u doo~

> yeye stik ur hoase out

> il gag on ur hoas

> Youkoban: Or you could try wax, I have some, I could bring it over and use it on you.

> Youkoban: Your problems. The monsters. Them.

> Alppenheimer: Subtle.

> Youkoban: Oh as if you can talk.

__ SEVERAL MINUTES LATER ____

> Admin: …Knight.

> SpecialKNight: Have you triumphed, comrade?

> Admin: Um, no. It turns out hoses aren't great for transporting scalding water… but they do make great ropes in a pinch.

> SpecialKNight: Oh.

> Youkoban: They got in!?

> Admin: No… but they're rubbing their bare breasts on my window at least.

> open da wind!

> u leik dis~?

> look tiddes!

> Admin: Luckily I've got the thing itself jammed.

> ill jam ur dik in muh windw

> wot

> aw ye, tuch em

> tuch mbobs

> fuk glas

> shiz i fel off

> Youkoban: Woah man, that sounds bad. I should reaaally come help you out~

> Admin: Maybe. I mean you don't have breasts big enough to rub on the window anyway.

> Youkoban: UH SAYE HWAT AGIN?

> Admin: Breaking your facade a bit there, honey.

> Youkoban: No, no, I just fell on my keyboard! That's all~!

> SpecialKNight: They art among us.

> Admin: Oh shit, the slimegirl is definitely trying to break the hose. This thing is ballooning up fast!

> Alppenheimer: Quick, try squeezing it to force her back down!

> lik a revers peenjob!!

> yeye! sav him frum hores!

> gud think ap!

> Alppenheimer: T-That's not what I was imagining, girls.

> she nut ur wife yut, admun

> iz his hos as big as dis?

> I hop su~

> alp sev him!

> sev him 4 reast of uz

> u can hav leftovr cum

> Alppenheimer: STOP TRYING TO BRIBE ME WITH THAT.

> firs cum?

> oh he thikn~

> Alppenheimer: No! I was just drinking, t-that's all.

> aplz

> admn…

> mons on grund luv u mor

> not gon brek in

> ye we NOT butches

> lol u jus jell u caynt clim~

> plz invit in

> we luv u

> Admin: I appreciate the thought but

> Youkoban: Evidently not enough to finish said thought.

> Admin: Y'know… Come to think of it, I always did love a polite girl~

> Youkoban: What…

> Alppenheimer: W-What?

> SpecialKNight: What did'st thou sayeth?

> wot

> OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

> yeyeyeeyyeeyEEE!

> nunu, we nis!

> ye, see nic tits?

> soooo nise

> Admin: I think I might be falling for that one girl on my lawn. You know who you are.

> Admin blows a kiss'

> IZ ME

> FUK NO IZ M

> Alppenheimer: What are you doing, man!? Don't lead them on, you fucking jerk.

> man scrw dis wind, lawnz whr iz at

> iim climin dwn admin i luv u

> Admin: Oh… W-Wow, you're all so thoughtful I just

> Admin: HAHA PSYCHE, FUCKERS!

> oh he tuk hos up

> …fuk

> Alppenheimer: Oh good, you were kidding. Nice one~

> Youkoban: Dude, that was mean, even for you.

> SpecialKNight: A mastercraft of deception, sir. I tip my hat.

> Youkoban: *fedora

> SpecialKNight: Silence, knave.

> dangt

> i shud be mayd…

> but ize 2 horny

> im gon uze his knob 4 now

> Admin: Heh, I bet you'd like to but how are you gonna manage

> Admin: Oh god… you meant doorknob.

> told u

> fuck dors~

>>155222

>> we gon git uuuu

>uuuu

>4u

Guys…

>>155359

Are the monster girls Bane?

>>155370

They're Big girls

Goddammit bane

>>155529

>you cannot think about masks or taking them off without your mind going to bane posting

I'm so sorry basilisk, the memes are just too strong.

>Shitposting of the Mamanos

>turns into baneposting

How ironic. Bane girl when?

>>155546

>underboob

Now hold on a second. It's at a diagonal corner of her boob. Is it both sideboob and underboob as a result of that, or should it be called something entirely different, like cornerboob? I mean, we can't actually call it cornerboob, since breasts lack the proper shape needed to have corners, but in that case, what should we call it?

>>155547

The side's covered while the bottom's only partially covered, it's not a full underboob but it's also not a sideboob or a derivative.

>what should we call it?

I don't know about you, but in >>155543 I'd call it miracle of the universe.

>>155549

I think the triangular shape deserves mention. What we have here is a veritable wedge of boob. A slice of the sexiest pizza ever devised.

>>155568

Wedgeboob?

Sliceboob?

Pizzaboob?

Obtuseboob?

Hope the totally not an alp realizes what he sounds like.

> Youkoban: …Sooo, not that listening to you dorks whine about all the - hm, let's call it supposedly corrupting and forced sex that all the chicks on your lawns are so generously offering - isn't fascinating, but do we have an actual idea for how to get rid of the squatters?

> wre nt squattin

> we'r jus prematurly movin in wt ur hubsnd

> my hsband

> no myne

> SpecialKNight: As a member of thy aforementioned cabal of corruption, wherefore wouldst thou wanteth to be rid of them?

> Alppenheimer: Wanteth? That's fake.

> SpecialKNight: Tis not. My translator is-

> SpecialKNight: I mean…eth that mine speech is perfect!

> im innta it

> i herd dragun was pervin on nite

> SpecialKNight: That is… most concerning.

> ye

> gud luk wit dat

> Youkoban: Look Sir Lamesalot, Admin's my… uh, friend?

> Admin shrugs

> Admin: Sure.

> Youkoban: So if he can't step five feet outside of his house without drowning in unwanted pussy, it's my problem too.

> Alppenheimer: And this has nothing to do with you wanting him for yourself?

> Youkoban: No more than you.

> Alppenheimer: …Riiiight. Yes, no more than I.

> Admin: Well, given that Knight's plan almost gave me a lava lamp for a wife, I think I'll be ignoring him from now on. Any ideas from you two?

> Alppenheimer: …Hm, monstergirls stick to single men, don't they? So they must have some sense of fair play to stay away from men who already have a mamano wife.

> Admin: True, they seem fairly cordial. The succubi might be a little on the fence about that though.

> hay admn

> llok howe far i can teket

> ye all de way oup dere!

> ooh, iz colrd

> Admin: …Make that a LOT on the fence. Yeesh, I'll spray… burn that later.

> Admin: Anyway, why?

> Alppenheimer: Weeell, hypothetically, if you were to be 'already taken'

> Alppenheimer: a-as it were

> Alppenheimer: Then they'd stop blockading your property and move on, right?

> Admin: …That's not the worst idea I've heard of.

> he pickn 1?

> oh yus

> mememe!

> ugh wet duge

> Youkoban: Ho-HOO! Good thinking, alpie! Always knew that boy had more brains than balls.

> Youkoban: Now, somewhat literally~

> Youkoban: Alrighty admin, I'm waiting.

> Admin: For what?

> Youkoban: 'Heimer's plan, silly. Heck, I'm already on my way to monsterizing - got some big ol' fluffy tails just for you babe!

> Admin: Oh no, you kept it so well hidden.

> no she ddnt

> admns a dumbass

> i luv ur dum ass!

> Admin: Ignoring that…

> Youkoban: Look, just confess your undying love to me and you'll be set. Maybe unlock the door, lemme in for a little love makin', one thing leads to another and BAM - mamanos are off your lawn and you're scott-free!

> no don!

> vanisl a trikky bittch

> Admin: I doubt any of the girls out the front are named 'scott'

> iye am

> Admin: …

> Youkoban: …

> can iye be ur wif~?

> Admin: …Ahem, anyway.

> aw…

> Admin: Is there any reason why the heck I should settle for you over one of them?

> Admin: Far as I can tell, you're no different than the girls out there.

> Youkoban: Well, I

> Youkoban: Woah, woah- settle!?

> ya, settl

> ur belowe hm

> lik ur a barrn land

> nt evn wurth stickin a pol in

> Youkoban: WOAHT!? Barrun?! Btich, im FURTLE!

> Admin: And clearly not a valid option.

> u tell it gurl

> so shs allarun?

> r u blind, read er nam

> u koban

> wats a koban?

> fuk if I nowe. i cant red this stoopid encylops-pedyia

> dum syclops shudnt rite wt only wun ey

> Alppenheimer: I totally agree, she's a completely unacceptable woman for you, admin.

> Youkoban: Ill shw u unnacccpetble…

> Alppenheimer: Clearly, I should be the one to do it.

> Admin: Ok.

> Admin: Wait what

[Continued…]

>>156301

> Alppenheimer: Uh…

> Alppenheimer: W-Well- I mean, I came up with the idea so should take responsib

> Alppenheimer: L-Look, you know I'm not alping, right? But the mamanos believe I am.

> cuz u r

> iz fin, i alpd. diks reel gud, ull see

> Alppenheimer: Stop.

> cum outsid ur hom, weel milk ya n show u

> mm, gt th dild!

> this 1?

> nu the squrnty une

> weel all shre ur shemen til it runz out

> Alppenheimer: AIH!

> Alppenheimer: A-Anyway, that proves my point. They'll believe the two of us are husband and wife easily. There's no threat if he confesses to me.

> thers a thret to uz!

> alpz a trikkier fuck!

> gud dmn femboiz ruinin evrythin

> yo, admeeanie, if u lik dix, I gut one!

> futas leve

> Admin: …Temporarily, right?

> Youkoban: You can't be serious!?

> Alppenheimer: Heh, give it up Youko.

> Youkoban: NO IL BREK INT UR HUSE FURST!

> Admin: Ugh, so much for subtlety. Explain it further, alpie-boy.

> Alppenheimer: Hehee~ So, we might have to play it up for a little while if we do this. Enough to be convincing to the mamanos. What's convincing to you girls?

> fukkin

> cum in er

> kiss d dik

> wrap hz dik in ur tail

> merg flesh

> lay eg

> stil ur tentcls in his but

> lite petting

> sit un hm

> temt wth swet smel

> hevy petting

> tast da beef!

> Alppenheimer: …See? Plenty of options.

> Admin: Nooo thanks.

> yay

> wwoo

> grate pik mye nao

> Alppenheimer: Ahh come on admin. You can trust me; we know each other better than anyone!

> Admin: Didn't we meet like a few months ago?

> Alppenheimer: Which is exactly WHY I'd never alp for you. Alping's something close friends do; we're practically strangers!

> Admin: I'm not really sure if

> Admin: Wait, didn't you just say we were close

> Alppenheimer: Aw, you really think so~?

> yuk

> SpecialKNight: And thou thought my tactics were faulty. Pah.

> i lik ur tacts nite

> drp ur drawbrig in m'snach!

> pownd m'gatez wt ur ram

> ramz r hot, baa

> shep leave

> Admin: Look, forget it.

> Alppenheimer: Look, just think it over. Would it really be so bad if t-the two of us were to

> Admin: Yes, yes it would be so bad. Alp alpity alp alp.

> Alppenheimer: You know what!? Maybe I WILL go out there and grab a wife!

> wot

> Alppenheimer: YEAH! Cause I'm not alping, cause I'll be a HUSBAND!

> Alppenheimer: W-We'll see who's more straight then, j-jerk.

> Alppenheimer has left the room.

> get th dressz

> nu, get d cupz

> semin prty at applenhamr huse!

> woo!

> Admin: …Anyone wanna take bets on how long before he jumps back in?

> SpecialKNight: Five minutes.

> Youkoban: Two.

> wun

> Admin: I'll be nice and say ten.

> Admin: So K, any new ideas?

> SpecialKNight: Well, if we were to construct a giant wooden woman, large enough to hide inside

> Admin: Ugh…

> Youkoban: Sounds like a big girl.

> SpecialKNight: For you.

> Admin has temporarily silenced users: Youkoban, SpecialKNight.

> Admin: Take those masks off and it will be extremely painful.

> Admin: Dammit, now I'm doing it.

There's your goddamn baneposting.

>A horde of monster girls will never fight over you and lust over your dick while shitposting with you.

Here's hoping OP doesn't back out of Heimer going full alp and discovering the joys of tasting dick (possibly even Admin's)

>>156373

that shit wont stop me from dreaming

>>156822

I hadn't decided whether to keep him in, because alp jokes are low-hanging fruit and I've been using them a lot. Does /monster/ detest alps as much as the 4chan boards?

>>156894

Depends on who you ask, really. Most just see alps as bully bait.

>>156894

>>156896

Alps are fondly tolerated, not really hated.

>>156894

4chan only hates alps because most of them would alp the day monster girls become real

alp best girl

>>156894

Fuck alps and alping. rather have him try fucking all the monsters outside.

>>156932

mamono detected

>>156951

I think you want this thread, greatest ally.

>>125874

>>156894

I used to not want one, but after reading boku girl and that one trap manga I now have mixed feelings towards them.

>>156941

Ah, I think I know why that is; posting on my phone.

I'm not a mamano.

Also, might have another set up later on - possibly with a little surprise. Depends on how much free time I have today.

>>156894

There are OK in my opinion; however, I would like to see a alp that is not a total pushover or a shrinking violet.

>>157095

Or a yandere, or a schizophrenic.

>>157098

>Yandere alp

Jesus christ how horrifying.

>>157099

You mean hilarious!

>Alp that likes you comes into your room brandishing an axe.

>"If I can't have you, NO ONE WILL!"

>You hold your hand out and place it on her forehead. She attempts to chop at you but can't reach.

>She tries to chop your arm off, but the heavy bladed edge bounces harmlessly off your skin due to her being a sissy alp.

>>157095

Agreed. Seconding this >>157098

We need a Yandere alp

>>157102

>between giggles you manage to get out

>"I think it's best if you just leave"

>she bursts into tears and runs out of your house, followed by your now raucous laughter

>>157103

what about a kuudere alp

>>157105

Or a Dandere Alp

>>157153

Head and Shoulders usually clears that right up.

>>157250

> SpecialKNight: FJIOSADJFSIOO

> ohp?

> Youkoban: Woah, did K get his finger caught in a gauntlet again?

> Admin: I'm not driving him to the hospital this time. He can lop it off.

> SpecialKNight: A HEAD.

> Youkoban: Eh?

> SpecialKNight: THERE IS A HEAD HERE.

> she thre it

> nic shot

> Admin: Youko, if you make a joke about K finally getting head, I'm banning you

> Youkoban: Oh, so you finally got some

> Youkoban: …

> Youkoban: Goddammit.

> he finaly got hed lol

>Admin has banned Anon-34

> lol

> e warnd u

> can wi giv u hed, admn?

> Admin: No.

> kk gotchya

> jus a hndjob

> Admin: No handjobs either.

> wat bout tentacol-job?

> Admin: N-

> Admin: …Okay I'll admit, I'm morbidly curious, but still no.

> aw

> Youkoban: So hows your, uh, 'head' situation going, dude?

> SpecialKNight: I… I believe it to be some manner of mamano, capable of detaching its own mortal body.

> dullahun

> SpecialKNight: A what?

> dulhan

> borin nitey wimmins

> sooo mor borin then meee~!

> titz in armur. wuz da poind?

> soopr tuff tho

> not zo mutch outta et but

> SpecialKNight: I see… so she is harmless like this?

> …sur

> ya shur

> yep, dey dont get soopr horni liyk dat. nut at aoull

> kek

> SpecialKNight: Hmph, then you shall be the first demon I banish from mine domain!

> SpecialKNight: HAVE AT THEE, HEAD!

> no bulli hed!

> Youkoban: Oh no, he's going to lightly annoy her with foam weapons.

> Youkoban: How terrifying - if she were made of cardboard.

> Admin: You have clearly never been on the receiving end of a drunken larper's blade.

> Admin: Foam should not be capable of such bloodshed.

> SpecialKNight: …

> Youkoban: So, valiant crusader, how went the fight?

> SpecialKNight: She proved far more… mobile than I expected.

> SpecialKNight: And very capable with her…

> SpecialKNight: t-tongue.

> Youkoban: …

> Admin: …

> tht explans y hr bod is fingrn hrself

> lol, if u slap er tits, u can here hr squel

> kek

> no bulllliy hed!!

> hw r u typin dul?

> Admin: Wait, how capable are we talking here?

> SpecialKNight: I typed this with my tongue~

> SpecialKNight: NO!

> Admin: Wow. Get her a cherry stem next.

> duz dat meen he takn?

> nah. needz boody for marrige

> n' body too

> kek, no azz dulla

> Admin: Sounds like you're safe for the minute, Knight. Enjoy the fellatio, I guess.

> SpecialKNight: DEMON, STAY BACK FMR

> SpecialKNight: safkaof',l,////////

> daz a gud succ

> Admin: Yeah, no kidding.

> Youkoban: Hey. Hey admin.

> Admin: I swear to the very-possible mamano god, Youko…

> Youkoban: HE GOT HEAD FROM A HEAD! BWAHAHAHA~

> Admin has temporarily silenced users: Youkoban.

> Admin:

>>157261

I WANT TO RUB HER EARS

CUTE POINTY EARS

RUB THEM

WATCH HER BLUSH

RUB THEM MORE

NEVER STOP RUBBING POINTY EARS

>dullahan wins knightfest

And all is well in the world.

>>157266

Are you really going to head in that direction?

>>157251

I'm beginning to think Youkou is a cheshire

I can't help but think that there's going to be some surprise twist to this tale, such as the expected alp going all Rance on the MGs and Admin is left alone

>>157379

Oh I'm sorry! I should have said Admin calling them out on their bullshit and squirting them with cold-water bottles

>Dulahan with Knight

Please man, I need more. I lost my sides and I'm hoping that if you post more I can hear them shattering and pick up the pieces.

>>158243

It's shitposting, why would it be archived?

> Admin: Alright, I'm back. Food and barricades took longer than anticipated.

> Youkoban: Welcome back, honey.

> Youkoban: Say, I'd been meaning to ask: what does a barricade do against slime girls or the like? Surely they'd slip through.

> Admin: I've got sealant on the windows, and stuffed towels under the doors. Turns out they don't like drying out.

> wez got 2 stey wet

> wet 4 u

> Admin: I hope those sprinklers haven't been giving them the wrong idea…

> Youkoban: Well you've been missing the lovely conversation I've been having with our dullahan friend.

> Admin: Still have no idea how she's typing with just her tongue.

> skil

> SpecialKNight: Iotrs hARDFghj

> SpecialKNight: Cease your typing, detachable wench!

> oi daz ur wif

> be nic

> be nighty

> SpecialKNight: I shan't recognize her as such!

> giv im tyme

> corrupshun tayks a bt

> SpecialKNight: Nopt thew way iom onn im~

> SpecialKNight: Cease utilizing thine body to restrain me! THIS IS UNFAIR.

> Youkoban: Get a room, you three.

> SpecialKNight: Three?

> Youkoban: You, the head, and the bod.

> Youkoban: Ain't all that common when a couple can manage a threesome by themselves. You should enjoy it.

> ud be surpized

> Youkoban: Oh?

> ya, sum girs iz crazze

> slims hav infenity-sum

> cuz th dik splitz uz

> oh, n mimikz

> Youkoban: Pfft, you can't fuck a box.

> onahole

> Youkoban: Get out. They can fix in that?

> anee. hole.

> mmimc sex shop, gurl

> sfuckin cray cray

> su many playcez

> Admin: Moving away from that, so the body made it inside after all?

> Youkoban: No, K's just pulling a very convincing one-man show.

> SpecialKNight: 'Tis ill tidings - and most disturbing to see her reattach it. Ugh.

> oh, zombs. he dun lik reattchin

> fuk. that wz mah gig

> mebe admn like it?

> Admin: No. I'll throw up.

> wth ur dik~?

> Admin: What!?

> lol duno~

> SpecialKNight: Such shame. To have been taken captive in mine own domicile.

> Youkoban: A captive of the puss.

> SpecialKNight: Falsehood!

> Youkoban: Oh, my apologies.

> Youkoban: Of the succ then~

> SpecialKNight: Rrng…

> Admin: Okay, to make this easier, I'll give our headless, horseless woman her own account. Or a name at least.

> Admin has sent a PM to SpecialKNight

> nnnuuuu luky!

> wifs get namexz!?

> want 2 be wyfe MOER DAN EVAH!

> Youkoban: Hehe, you may regret this, darling. So what'd you call her?

> HeadNShoulders has joined.

> Youkoban: BWHAHAHA!

> Admin: Easily amused, I see.

>>158624

Nah she obviously got tossed out the window.

At this rate, it's going to take a Dark Matter or the like to corrupt Admin. That, or they create some kind of Demon Spirit Bomb and hit Admin with it. Shame, because Admin is the only one here who is sane and smart; Youko is literally no different from the monsters outside and Knight let his libido get the better of him instead of simply chucking the Dullahan's head out the window. This is how they fall, mang.

Still waiting for Rance

>>158675

Youko is top tier. TOP TIER!

>>158680

If she's top tier, then the monsters outside are really the best that the mamono can do. Consider that they can't even break into one guy's house or get him to come out (willingly or not).

Those twats are not worth Admin's time, honeybunch, not when he keeps outsmarting and outmaneuvering them. They'd have better luck going after Knight or stopping the alp from alping.

>>158675

I expect the Admin to just outright punch the Demon Spirit Bomb out of the sky, completely and utterly unaffected at this point.

>>158710

That will make the shitposters want him even harder.

Too bad for them. He ain't their meat dildo.

>>158675

Admin's gotta run outta food eventually being boarded up.

>>158729

He's capable of evading them when he needs to leave the house. Did you not read the post?

Did Alpenheimer alp yet?

>>158790

He's becoming incubus Rance.

Hopefully.

I'm a little surprised there hasn't been a Navy Seals reference yet.

>>158811

nice dubs

Guys, I think that the anon that posted here is a goner. Please pray for another wizard apprenticeship that was ended in the vagina of an overly amorous arachne.

Oh god I hope I'm not next …. I'm only a few months away … just … let me make it ….

>>159204

Anyone who posts on such a board deserves what they get. Men get meat dildo'd women get monsterized, incubi have it worse than men, and monsters are either sane enough to stay the fuck away (desperation ain't sexy) or sink to the shitposters' level.

You know that one place in town where all three of the FATAL players gather in the basement? That board is that place.

> ey nau

> ur n alstar

> git ur dik on

> git laaaid

> Youkoban: Back.

> Admin: Make it stop.

> Youkoban: Eh?

> ay nao

> yur a roksta

> git ur gam on

> get laaaid

> Admin: They found smash mouth. They're serenading me.

> aaal dat glittrs iz cum

> onlee shootn stahs brek da moold

> Youkoban: Ahh. So planet's doomed then?

> Admin: We had a good run.

> Admin: AH, THF UKC!?

> Youkoban: Aha, admin was a mamano the whole time!

> ehh!?

> wot a tweest

> Admin: Shut your multiple holes. It's hard to type when you have a fucking arrow in your arm.

> Youkoban: An ar

> Youkoban: What?

> Admin: Yeah, arrows. I guess they're trying to kill me now.

> nuuuu

> wed neva

> altho rope arow s'not bad idya

> Admin: Knight, did you arm the mamanos?

> SpecialKNight: To befoul my good name with such accusations. Of course not!

> Admin: Hmph, yeah… I doubt you carry heart-shaped arrows anyway.

> HeadNShoulders: WAIT. Did you say 'heart-shaped'!?

> ooh

> Admin: I dunno. Could be upside-down spade, come to think of it. It's gold in any case.

> IT BEEGINZ

> Admin: Come again?

> HeadNShoulders: ADMIN! That's a cupid's arrow!

> Youkoban: Okay, even I'm lost here. We're actually talking about that flying baby?

> Ill fly

> ur

> baeby?

> no, jus

> no

> aw…

> HeadNShoulders: It's a type of angel - not really considered a monstergirl by most.

> HeadNShoulders: Their golden arrows are incredibly powerful weapons, designed to engorge the love of those they pierce.

> i hav fannd th flames of ur heart

> be wif luv, admn

> Admin: So not only does Cupid exist - he has giant tits.

> all da anges do

> lewd!

> Admin: Mamano god has good taste.

> Youkoban: So is admin about to become lovestuck with his harem? Should I book it over there?

> nup, hez fine!

> yah, stay dere

> weel help im~

> Youkoban glares at the anons.

> HeadNShoulders: Even the smallest, tiniest, faintest love that he holds in his heart for even one of those girls - for ANYONE in his life - will swell until it overwhelms him.

> HE SHUD SEE ME FURST

> thas not hw kyupid wurks dumfuq

> yo coopid, shoot me 2!

> OW

> I tink that waz a regyular arrowe

> Youkoban: Must. Get there. Before. Alppenheimer.

> Youokoban has left.

> sum1 tackl vanilz when she gits ere

> on eet

> Admin: I don't suppose you can suck out the poison?

> Admin: Might have a job for that alp after all…

> HeadNShoulders: I'm sorry, admin, but it doesn't work like that.

> Admin: Damn.

> we can steel suk tho~

> il suk ur blud!

> vamps gettn hornie

> HeadNShoulders: I'm sorry to say, but your resolve will soon be gone. You've lost, admin.

> Admin: Of course. Fucking snipers.

> SpecialKNight: How much time is left to him?

> HeadNShoulders: It should be very quick. Even now his love should be grand and beautiful.

> yis yis yis

> Admin: What, for those fuckers?

> HeadNShoulders: He should be

> HeadNShoulders: What? Those… fuckers?

> eh?

> mayb fukr is his lovy word?

> ill tayk it

> Admin: Yeah, the dumb sluts outside my house.

> Admin: I thought this was established.

> !?

> HeadNShoulders: You… do not love them?

> Admin: Let me cite the words of a wise man

> Admin: who is falling off of a cliff

> Admin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AHH!

> thfuk

> WOTOWT

> HE STIL HADE UZ!

> SpecialKNight: You may have yelled my lady's head off just now, admin.

> HeadNShoulders: bnut iths IMP[OSSSIBLL!

> SpecialKNight: Perhaps thine arrow was faulty?

> HeadNShoulders: NOH THEYU CAYNT BN DSUDS

> coopid looks purdy shokd

> lol she jus drop her fone

> hi im an angle and i fuck clowds all dae long

> kek, waz angel-lande liyk?

> oh it suks and were all fukin stoopid.

> ohshit shez comin. agels suq

> GT THE FUK BAK HEERE

> SpecialKNight: Well, the only other explanation is thine administrator holdeth absolutely nill love in thine heart for any!

> Admin: …

> SpecialKNight: …Oh, that'd definitely be it then.

> Admin: HEY

> Admin: eh, kinda true though. Ask my ex.

> wow

> no luv

> he did thrw a chiyld owt

> let m' luve u, aydmn!

> an puncuh m'tit

> i likd it tho

> lol cupids havn a fukin hart attak frum dis

> angels r dum

> HeadNShoulders: How can someone be so deprived of love and still function? That doesn't make sense.

> HeadNShoulders: To be so utterly cold and alone, so pathetic. A soul consumed by hate - with no love for anyone or anything!?

> SpecialKNight: He IS an admin. For us, no less.

> Admin: He's not wrong.

>>159275

>you will never sweat bullets as the lamia tells you to roll fr your character's anal circumference while thrusting her tail in plain sight

>you will never see the succubus GM slam down her own homebrew supplement and ask "Dare you enter my magical realm?"

>you will never see the raiju masturbate under the table as she describes the lurid ways he character is violating yours

Yeah, dodged a bullet there. FATAL is best played with your buddies when you are drunk and feeling masochistic.

>>159335

>you "accidentally" cast FATAL and rocks fall everyone dies

>they don't invite you over anymore

>>159305

You missed a bit of the post anon

>>159694

Fuck forgot to sage